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 Cover Story R D Va u It
40 A Silent Killer 70 Terror 0n the Road
It hits women harder than After Wally Eamer is shot
it hits men, and it’s more during a Vicious armed robbery
dangerous than breast cancer. in Honduras, it's up to his wife
Here’s what you need to know and three young children to
about heart disease. keep him alive. JIM HUTCHISON
SYDNEY LONEY FROM READERS D/GEST.
DECEMBER 1999
Heart
48 Miracles in Real Life Environment
Three stories about joyous 80 The Curious Case of
discoveries made at unex— the Mysterious Hum
pected moments. REGINA For years, residents of Windsor,
LOUISE FROM NARRATIVELV Ont., have been plagued by a
LISA MILLER AND MARC PEYSER spectral noise. So far, nobody’s
been able to explain what it is—
Human Interest
or how to make it disappear.
58 Living on the Edge
SIMON LEWSEN FROM THE WALPUS
What the brain of the world’s
Lu greatest free—solo climber, Alex
L)
<
[L Honnold, can teach us about
W
m
fear. J.B. MACKINNON
\
a: I F.
<
FROM NAUT/LUS
“E
D
O
m
\
Life Lesson

I:
Z
I
L) 66 Less Is More PHOTOGRAPHY
BY GABRIELLE
>- SYKES/RODEO
X Expert tips for decluttering PRODUCTION;
E (PROP STYLING)
a your home. CAITLIN AGNEW PAR HASARD

r‘i—dca
03 2017 1
 Vol. 190 | No.1,137v
MARCH 2017

Department of Wit 4 Editor’s Letter

88 War of the Words 8 Contributors
Even the smartest quip can 9 Letters
be topped.

Health
90 The Nightmare of
Sleep Eating
Inside the poorly understood
disorder that causes sufferers READER FAVOURITES
to gorge while they slumber.
R.M. VAUGHAN FROM VAN W/NKLE'S 11 Finish This Sentence
26 Points to Ponder
Editors’ Choice
57 Laughter, the Best Medicine
96 Arise and Shine
78 As Kids See It
In northern Uganda, the Gulu
95 Life’s Like That
United Football Club is more
112 That’s Outrageous!
than a place for kids to play
114 Brainteasers
soccer. For its Canadian
founder, it's an investment 116 Trivia Quiz
in the future of the country 117 Word Power
HOBBS

and its children. RYAN DIXON 119 Sudoku

FROM SPORTS/VET 120 Quotes
ALEXI

2 O3 2017 mica
 Health
ART OF LIVING
34 Case History
A medical mystery resolved.
12 Petal Pusher SY DN EY LON EY
Floranthropie founder
Christine Law brightens
seniors’ lives with blooms.
STEPHANIE VERGE
GET SMART!
The RD Interview
16 Divine Inspiration 109 13 Things a Contractor
A Q&A with actor Graham Won't Tell You
MICHELLE CROUCH, ADDITIONAL
Greene. COURTNEY SHEA
RESEARCH BY ANDREA BENNETT

Travel
18 Leaving Alone
How to make the most of your
solo vacation. TIM JOHNSON

Family
20 To Err Is Human
You shouldn't try to raise the
perfect kid. ALEX MLYNEK

Culture
24 RD Recommends
Our top picks in books, movies
and TV. SARAH LISS

Health
28 Itchy Eyes?
Why they happen and how to
treat them. SAMANTHA RIDEOUT

Health
32 Easing Inflammation
AZIZ

How to deal with psoriatic

arthritis. LISA BENDALL
ROGER
 a"
Editor’s Letter

Heart Stories 0
‘0
Ill
4. YEARS
u
a:
o
\\ lil:\. l \\ \S \(IIIIIVI), my grandmother ’0
\\ accompanied my family to the Laurentians in ‘94s: 53“
southern Quebec for a vacation. On the second
day of our holiday, she complained of feeling unwell, suspecting a bad
case of indigestion. Luckily, my aunt, a nurse, recognized the symptoms
of a heart attack, and an ambulance was called. Without her daughter’s
assistance, my grandmother would likely have died that day.
Heart attacks present differently in female patients
than in male ones; as a result, too many women are
unable to spot the warning signs. Because of this, they A":
fail to seek help, according to our cover story, ‘A’ Silent \ ’~ )
Killer," by health writer Sydney Loney. For informa- ”
tion on why cardiovascular disease is the leading
cause of death for women in Canada and how to
mitigate the risks, turn to page 40. This know—
ledge could save a life.
As I mentioned in my last note, Readers’ Digest
has been publishing in Canada for 70 years now.
We’ve built up quite a collection ofstories!
Each month, we'll pick one of our best-loved
articles and reprint it as an RD Vault. If
there's a feature you think should reappear
in our pages, send us an email with the
details at [email protected] and we'll do
our best to bring it back. Please help us
celebrate seven decades of excellence! IE

/? Send an email to
AZIZ

/0W l [email protected]
ROGER

4 l 03 2017 rdca
 Readers’
digest
Published by the Reader’s Digest Magazines Canada Limited, Montreal, Canada

Christopher Dornan Chairman of the Board

Robert Goyette Editor-in-Chi‘ef
Karin ROSSI Publisher

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Senior Researchers Vibhu Gairola. Rudy Lee

Contributors: Cait in Agnew Roger AZ 2, Lisa BendaII And'ea
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Courtney shea AniarIeet S‘ngh yagr Gab'ieIIe Sykes Azinee Van
Assistant Web Editor Robert Li‘wanag Dr inmeien R M Vaugl‘an. Dayid \Veighain V cto' Wong

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rdca 03 2017 5
 Financial Life Stages
As we get older we have an increased reliance on deposits.

gig CDIC
Canada Deposit
Insurance Corporation

Did you know?

It is important for older Canadians to be aware of CDIC, since this demographic
has the most savings to lose and fewer working years to recover from a
financial institution failure.

Close to 98% of personal accounts are eligible for deposit protection under
CDIC's seven categories and $100,000 limit.

It's important to remember U.S. dollar accounts and some investment products,
such as mutual funds, stocks and bonds, are not protected by CDIC.

Understanding CDIC coverage helps Canadians make informed decisions about

their savings, which helps support confidence in our financial system.

To see more about the financial life stages of older Canadian, go to cdic.ca
WORRYING ABOUT YOUR
MONEY CAN CONSUME YOU.
Take comfort in knowing that for 50 years,
CDIC has been here to protect your hard—earned
savings. But not everything is covered. Find out if
your money is OK at cdicica.
Deposit protection to at least $100,000
 a"
Contributors
ROGER AZIZ CAITLIN AGNEW
(Photographer, “Petal (Writer, “Less Is
Pusher," page 12) More," page 66)

Home base: Home base:

Montreal. Toronto. Previously
Previously published in published in The Globe and Mail
Hour and Vice. Whenever and Fashion Magazine. I would
I’m photographing someone, describe myself as an organized
I try to tell their stories by person. I'm a Virgo and love when
capturing their emotions. I’m everything is in its right place.
inspired by Richard Avedon‘s If you want to declutter, start
work. It’s beautifully lit and small and invite someone over for a
technically sound, but beyond glass of wine or a cup oftea to help.
that, his portraits reveal his Moral support is key, and it'll make
subjects' souls. the process more fun.

A L E X M LY N E K BY R0 N EG G E N -
(Writer, “To Err Is SCHW | LE R
Human," page 20) (Illustrator, "'Ihe Curi—
ous Case ofthe Mys—
Home base: terious Hum," page 80)
Toronto. Previously
published in 1'0‘days' Parent and Home base: Calgary. Previously
Best Health. I have perfectionist published in The New York Times
tendencies. They mostly surface and The Walrus. With this illustra-
in my work, but also with my kids, tion, I wanted to demonstrate the
whom I occasionally micromanage. eeriness of the sound some Windsor
EMBERLEV

If children are afraid to make residents experience, and others

mistakes, that may stop them don’t. There’s something capti-
RYAN

from trying new things. Messing vating about the unsolvable. Deep
up can be valuable—it's how down, I think we all love the spine—
we learn. tingling feeling ofthe unknown.
(AGNEW)

8 l 03 2017 rd.ca
 Letters
READERS COMMENT ON OUR RECENT ISSUES

In honour of our 70th

anniversary, we reached
out to readers to ask,
“What does Reader’s
Digest mean to you?”

A (,‘OIV‘II’IiLLING READ
About 60 years ago, I picked up a copy of Reader’s Digest in
the waiting room of my doctor’s office. I can’t remember what
I was reading, but it must have been interesting—I hadn’t fin—
ished when I was called in, and at the end of my appointment,
I asked the receptionist if I could stay and wrap up. She sug-
gested I take the magazine home instead. I was hooked.
I’ve read every issue of Reader’s Digest since then. The
jokes always make me laugh, and the stories are relatable.
They feel like a slice of Canadian life. I’ve subscribed to dif-
ferent publications and haven’t felt the same attachment—
other magazines have come and gone, but I’ve always stuck
with Reader’s Digest. JOANNE CAVALIER, Belleuille, 0111.

fig]
03 - 2017 9
READER’S DIGEST

PROFESSIONAL INSPIRATION SELF-CARE STRATEGIES

I wanted to express my appreciation I’m almost 87 years old and have
for "The Kids of Bus 3077" (October been a caregiver for my husband for
2016). In addition to warming my several years. It’s caused the worst
heart, the piece also showed the stress I've ever experienced. While
importance of the organizations, vol- I'm physically fit, my mental health
unteers and families who enrich the is under tremendous strain. But your
lives of children with special needs. article “Mind Games" (November
As a volunteer, I serve on the board 2016) helped. The tips were laid out
of directors for such an organization in a way that was very easy to under-
and stories llk'e these validate what stand. I tried some of them, and
we do. BRIAN DE HAAN, Edmonton within minutes, I felt a bit better. No
medication, no appom‘tments, no
SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE cost—just simple ways to take charge
I recently took a moment to start the of your own health. B.K., Nanaimo, 3.0.
article “The Truth About Cats and
Dogs" (October 2016). Just as I was COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
reading point #43, "I’m bored! I I loved the December 2016 Editor's
want your attention! Please get off Letter. I remember my grandmother
your smartphone and play with me," explaining the benefits of "an apple
I felt a tap on my arm. It was my cat, a day" as she'd pack one in our
reminding me that it had been too lunches. All those apples made that
long since I’d last given her a pat. once-a-year orange at Christmas-
She might be the boss in my house, time that Robert Goyette mentioned
but thanks to point #33 (about cats special! Thanks for the reminder of
presenting their" bottoms), I know how blessed we are to enjoy differ-
that she loves me very much! ent fruits from around the globe.
Thanks, Readers’ Digest, for con- LYNN LEHMAN, Orillia, om.
tln'uing to provide good reasons
to be distracted for a few minutes. Published letters are edited for length
CHRISTINE CARRILLO, North Vancouver and clarity.

We want to hear from you! Have something to say about an article you read in Readers' Digest? Send your
letters to [email protected], Please include your full name and address.

Contribute Send us your funny jokes and anecdotes. and if we publish one in a print edition of Readers’
Digest, we’ll send you $50. To submit. visit rd.ca/joke.

Original contributions (text and photos) become the property of The Reader’s Digest Magazines Canada
Limited, and its affiliates, upon publication. Submissions may be edited for length and clarity, and may be
reproduced in all print and electronic media. Receipt of your submission cannot be acknowledged.

I—r—lio
O3 - 2017 rd.ca
 _l
FINISH THIS SENTENCE

One thing I’d like to cross

off my bucket list is...
I III-- ...liVing t0
u- (D ' the age
...t0uring the 0f100, I—lg
so can get a letter
west coast
I

from the Queen.

down to Mexico. LISA TREMBLA,Y
CATHY SAMBELL CEDAR SPRINGS,
REILL,Y LONDON, ONT. ONT.

...meeting Sidney Crosby!

JOANNE WATERS, CONSECON, ONT.

...Visiting all 50
American states. ...travelling
CHERYL MACMILLAN ASHTON, CALGARY
to Scotland
to look into our
family history.
ASHLEY BARCLA,Y
PONOKA, ALTA.

A"? Visit the Reader's Digest Canada Facebaok pagefor your chance tofinish the next sentence.

r‘l—dea
03 2017 11
 E
ART of LIVING

Petal Pusher
PHOTOGRAPHY BY ROGER AZIZ

JV- 1T TOOK MULTIPLE weddings of bringing beauty into the lives of

and a funeral for Christine Law to older people—and finding oppor—
realize what she needed to do. In the tunities to forge relationships with
summer of 2014, her calendar was them. Having lived with her grand-
packed with friends' marriage cele— parents between the ages of seven
brations—blossom—filled occasions and 14, when her beloved grand-
that got her thinking, Where do all father died, Law knew how valuable
the flowers go after the party? More an intergenerational connection
often than not, they were thrown could be. She drew on her experi—
out. Law, then 27, was confident she ence volunteering with non—profits
could find a better use for them. in order to set up her own organiza—
By August, the Montreal-based tion, which she called Floranthropie.
commercial analyst had a plan: con- The inaugural delivery—20 trop-
vince couples and companies host— ical arrangements—was to a long—
ing events to donate their bouquets, term care facility in Montreal’s
which she would pick up and deliver east end, where a friend’s mother
within 48 hours to seniors across the worked. Not having enough bou—
city. She was drawn to the prospect quets for all 150 residents, Law h

12 O3 2017 rd.ca
Thinking of You: Since
launching Floranthropie,
Christine Law and her
team of volunteers have
delivered more than 4,000
bouquets to the elderly
throughout Montreal.
READER’S DIGEST

asked the staff to provide a list of Those small bouquets are possi-
patients who needed cheering up ble thanks to a seven—person crew
the most, whether it was because comprising mainly Law's family
of a rough patch or a lack of visitors. and friends, including her close pal,
“The first woman I approached Diana Ocvirek. “The act of offering
thought it was a mistake, that the a flower is a symbolic one—it can
I
flowers couldn't possibly be for her,’ represent gratitude, joy, love or
says Law. "I said they were a gift, friendship,” Ocvirek says. "It’s also a
and we talked for a half-hour." simple gesture that provides hope."
One man followed Law around, In the beginning, most of Floran—
gazing at the blooms, even though thropie’s donations came through
he remained silent. "He wasn't word of mouth: friends of friends
on my list, but I offered him a bou- who were getting hitched, a Concor-
quet and he brought me to see his dia University staffer who had organ-
room," she says. "There were floral ized an event for the school. These
decorations and artificial flowers days, Law receives inquiries from
everywhere. That's when I really strangers Via her organization's
understood that all kinds of people, Facebook page and has connected
men included, like something with corporations and flower whole-
lovely to look at." salers. The group was finally able
In addition to long-term care to buy a delivery van last fall and is
facilities, Floranthropie focuses on currently looking for rental space.
seniors' residences and community (Previously, Law used her car for
groups dedicated to the elderly. transport, or booked a truck if nec-
Laetitia Théle‘me is a volunteer essary; flowers were often stored
coordinator for Les Petits Fre‘res, at her apartment.) Law hopes to
an organization that aims to help expand Floranthropie nationally,
isolated elders who don’t have a but at this point is happy to be able
support system. The group receives to oversee each delivery personally.
monthly deliveries of a dozen or so “One of my cousins recently told
bouquets from Floranthropie, then me she thinks our grandfather would
redistributes them. “Our motto is have been proud of what I’m doing,"
’flowers before bread,” says The- she says. “He’s guided me—it’s as if
leme. "We aren't focused on pri- he's been following me this whole
mary care, but rather on nourishing time. Flowers are lovely to look at, but
the spirit. Floranthropie helps us do more importantly, they’re a tool to
that. It's amazing what a big differ- kick-start a conversation and foster a
ence a small bouquet can make." connection. That's my real priority."

14
fl—N- 2017 rd.ca
 r‘
7..

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Learn more at toyota.ca/safety TOYOTA
L
THE RD INTERVIEW

Divine Ins iration

ILLUSTRATION BY AIME'E VAN DRIMMELEN

You play God in your new movie, The

Shack. How do you get readyfor a role
like that?
Well, I never really prepare. That partic—
ular day, after I got made up, I looked
into the mirror and based the character
on an elder who was one of my teachers
before he passed away. His gentleness
was incredible.

The Shack is' afaith-basedfilm. Did that

afiect your decision to sign on?
I'm not a churchgoer;
my beliefs are per—
sonal. I’m a work—
ing actor with a
mortgage to pay.
IfI don’t work,
I get edgy and
miserable. To
make them—
selves inter—
esting, a lot

1—l76
03 2017 rd.ca
l
of performers come up with horse- Is it important to you to tell the
poop ideas about why they took cer- stories ofFirst Nations people?
tain parts. The role looked intriguing; Not particularly. I've played old
it was offered to me and I accepted. Jewish men, New York police offi-
cers, French soldiers. I’m a fan of
Many people know youfrom your diverse casting. I hate that phrase,
Oscar-nominated performance in "Graham Greene, Native actor."
Dances With Wolves. More than 25 You don’t hear people say, "Denzel
years later, what do you remember Washington, black actor," or "Kevin
most about that experience? Costner, white actor."
My horse. He and I got on like a
house on fire. On the last day I was Maybe it’s a reflection of thefact
shooting, this kid came up and told that there aren’t enough working
me it had been his—turns out he’d First Nations actors.
had to sell it. After filming, I went to I don't know about that. There are
the producers and said, “Make sure a lot more Native actors out there
this kid gets his horse back. Take it than there were 40 years ago, when
out of my salary if you have to." I started. When kids ask for advice,
I say learn how to wait tables, get
You also starred opposite wolves your cab licence and develop a
in Twilight. You clearly don’t sub- thick skin.
scribe to that adage about how a
smart actor never works with ani- You’ve said you never intended to
mals or children. be an actor. What would you be
I also did a TV series called Wofl doing now fiyou hadn’t chosen
Lake with Lou Diamond Phillips. this route?
I'd probably be a welder. I started
Any advice on dealing with vulpine out as a carpenter, a welder, a
co-stars ? draftsman, a carpet layer, a roadie
Don’t. The ones in' Dances With and an audio tech. I stumbled into
Wolves were pretty unpredictable. acting and I thought, These people
They were supposedly trained, but keep me in the shade, give me food
you never really knew what they were and water, take me over to where I
going to do. They were w11'd animals. say what I’m supposed to say, then
they take me back. Wow—this is
You recently appeared in Te Ata, the life of a dog!
a biopic about a Native American
entertainer in the early 20th century. The Shack is in theatres March 3.

r‘l—lidca
O3 ' 2017 17
L
TRAVEL

Leaving Alone

CHOOSE THE RIGHT Adventures caters to a 45-plus audi-

_ COMPANY FOR YOU ence and Offers an array of solo—only
’ " Some tour operators, like trips, while Intrepid Travel unveil'ed
Australia-based Peregrine Adven- three new single-traveller offerings
tures and its sister company, Intrepid this year. “On these trips, you likely
Travel, have reported up to a 40 per won’t know anyone when you start,
cent increase in solo travel in the but that is rarely the case at the end,"
past five years, with the most sub— says Leigh Barnes, director of Intrepid
stantial growth in vacationers who Travel in North America. "Travelling
are 65-plus. Companies are noticing on your own creates an openness
and creating more options. Peregrine that can enhance the experience."
ISTOCKPHOTO

18 03 2017 rd.ca
l

‘
 CUT COSTS Girma, author of the Moon travel
J‘ ' Vacationing alone is inher— guides on the Dominican Republic
ently more expensive than and Belize, advises those travelling
splitting costs with a fellow traveller. solo to book rooms at small hotels
For one thing, many resorts and and guest houses, where employ-
cruises bill on a “per-person double ees can provide valuable local
occupancy" basis, meaning they intel. Let staff know whenever you
charge a fee for each member of a go out for the evening (so they’ll
couple staying in a room or cabin. notice if you fail to return), and
Since they’re alone, solo travellers rather than hailing a cab on the
are often forced to pay the dreaded street, stick to official taxi stands
"single supplement," which can or ask for names of trusted drivers
range from 10 to 100 per cent of the at the front desk. As a bonus, staff-
advertised price. Seek individual recommended drivers “are often
rates online or call the resort or some of the most knowledgeable
cruise line to negotiate. You can guides,” says Girma.
also avoid hotels altogether by
house swapping through sites like FIND FRIENDS ONLINE
homeexchange.com. Save on cabs 9' The Internet offers a pleth-
by taking buses and subways when- ora of places to meet fel-
ever it’s safe to do so, and if you find low travellers. Travelbuddy.com
yourself surrounded by singles at will help you meet friends on the
a guest house or restaurant, form road, while thelmandlouisecom is
your own group for a tour—banding a club for female vacationers.
together can lead to big discounts.
J1 KEEP CONNECTED
SIT AT THE BAR Should you start to feel
9“ Eating alone can be intimi- isolated on your journey,
dating. Relocate to the bar, Leyla Giray Alyanak, who runs
where your neighbours might be Women on the Road, a site geared
more open to conversation. You can toward women who vacation alone,
sometlrn'es save a few bucks by doing advises you to shift your attention.
this, too—a number of restaurants Keep a journal about your experi-
offer a bar-only, cut-rate menu. ences, get in touch with folks at
home via social media or simply
K STAY SAFE head outside. "Go for a massage or
A few steps can increase to a museum or wander around on
your security. Lebawit Lily foot," says Alyanak.

O3 - 2017
r—l—l—dLa 19
FAMILY

To Err Is
Human

J"*~ EVEN THE MOST well- were bullied, for instance, you might
intentioned parents can some— believe it's extra important to raise a
times subject their charges to child who is kind to others.
unrealistic demands. By keeping We might also be motivated by
expectations in check, we can nur- a compulsion to keep up with the
ture happier, healthier youngsters. neighbours, leading us to pressure
kids to master skills—like reading
Why We Seek Perfection or sharing—before they are devel-
The drive to bring up accomplished opmentally ready.
kids comes from two places, says
Boston-based child psychologist High Standards Hold
Lawrence Cohen, who’s written sev- Kids Back
eral books, including Playful Parent— Striving for excellence in too many
ing. The first is an internalized desire realms can affect your child’s ability
to make up for something we feel to learn. If they are putting in the
was lacking in our own youth. If you work required to be a top performer
MASTERFILE

20 O3 2017 mica
 You can accompiish a lot in pie—retirement. It’s the 15 years before you retire, And we
can heip with a weli-pianned ore-retirement, getting you started on yourjourney toward
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1’ The TD logo and other trade-marks are the property of The Toronto-Dominion Banks
READER’S DIGEST

in multiple ways—at school, swim a child when they required help

class and piano lessons, say—it can didn’t have the same impact.
leave little room for downtime. But
breaks are essential, especially for Striking a Balance
children, since we all learn better if To get ahead of a tendency toward
we give our brains a chance to rest, perfection, Marlowe suggests par—
Cohen explains. Free time allows us ents praise effort rather than
to integrate and digest what we've achievement. “Instead of saying
learned in order to fully compre- 'That's a great picture,’ say 'You
hend and build on it. really worked hard on that,” she
explains. Setting clear standards
Mistakes Are Valuable for behaviour and accomplish-
Giving your child space to make and ments is useful, but when your
resolve errors helps them gain confi- child falls short, avoid responding
dence, says Sara Marlowe, a Toronto- with anger—that will only cause
based clinical social worker whose them to avoid you or lie to cover up
recent book, My New Best Friend, is their mistakes. Marlowe suggests
about teaching kids self-compassion. focusing instead on helping kids
“Where appropriate, letting chll‘dren determine what they might do dif-
sort out problems helps them trust ferently in the future.
that they can figure things out for Finally, consider what kind of role
themselves," she explains. model you are. Little ones must see
Another reason to hang back? A their parents being open about their
2016 study out of the National Uni- mistakes, Cohen insists. We all mess
versity of Singapore found that assist- up occasionally: saying something
ing youngsters when they don’t need we don't mean, raising our voices
it can lead to maladaptive perfec- at loved ones, forgetting important
tionism—that is, it might cause chll'- occasions. But these moments can
dren to become overly anxious about become teachable ones. “If we swear,
mistakes or to beat themselves up for blame others or deny mistakes, our
failing to meet expectations. Durm‘g children will do the same," Cohen
the study, kids were asked to solve says. Instead, acknowledge how you
puzzles within a time limit, while might have acted differently to pro-
parents watched. Researchers identi- duce a better outcome. Go easy on
fied self-critical attitudes in children yourself and make a point of showing
whose parents impatiently inter— your kids you’re doing so. It w11'l go
fered, even when they weren't show- a long way toward setting them up
ing signs of struggling. Gently leading . for success.

zfl—liz
03 - 2017 rd.ca
 Binge Eating Disorder:
It’s a real medical
condition

Reach Gut Ask For heip.

r 1Star‘tthemmemation,

mm'
“M‘MJIMN mu;
flwf'hiflmmuwh mm
CULTURE

RD Recommends

@ In the blue—collar town of Bellevue, neigh-

bours look out for one another and everyone
knows everyone else's business. It's the perfect
setting for a moody whodunit, which is how we
meet a local police detective played by Anna Paquin;
she's conducting an investigation into the disappearance
of a transgender teen. The search for the truth inevita—
bly supersedes community spirit, as presaged by
moody whodunit predecessors such as True
Defective and The Killing. Feb. 20.

DID YOU KNOW? After earning a Best Supporting Actress statue at the age
of 11 for her work in The Plano, Winnipeg—born Paquin became the second—
youngest Oscar winner in history.

)(
9 4. Debbie Marshall
Even military—history buffs will find plenty ofrevela-
tions in this fresh take on the First World War. Marshall
draws on her background as a playwright to create vivid
CBC

accounts of the conflict as seen through the eyes of

three female journalists who were working as foreign
correspondents for Canadian publications at the time.
Feb. 18.
(BELLEl/UE)

24 O3 2017 rd.ca
 93
Michael D. Lemonick ’
Imagine if your past ' ' 1
simply ceased to exist.
That's what life is like
for Lonni Sue Iohnson,
a 60—something Ameri-
can artist who lives in
a kind of suspended
present tense, due to a
bout of Viral encephal— 4
itis in 2007 that left her / Though less well-known than Oskar
with chronic amnesia. Schindler, Antonina Z'abin'ska—played here by
Lemonick, a science Iessica Chastain—is no less inspiring. In 1939, she
journalist, uses this convinced her husband, the director of the Warsaw
deeply personal story 200, to make their home a haven and, over the next
to explore big questions six' years, helped more than 300 Jews evade death
RESERVED
RESERVED,

about memory and the by sheltering them among the furry and feathered
nature of self. Feb. 7. creatures on-site. March 31 .
RlGHTS
RlGHTS
ALL
ALL

5
lNC
LP
WlFE

As the song goes, it's a tale as old

as time, but this live-action version
ENTERPRlSES

of the iconic 1991 Disney cartoon

contains some charming updates.
ZO KE PER‘S
DISNEY

Harry Potter heroine Emma Watson

tackles the role of Belle, the plucky
2016
2016

bookworm who volunteers to take

WIFE)

her father's place after he’s impris-

BEAST)

oned by a monstrous captor in an

THE

enchanted castle, while Emma

AND

Thompson and Ian McKellen are

ZO /(E PER‘S

the voices of, respectively, a teapot

and a clock. March 17.
(THE
(BEAUTY
 5
Points to Ponder

My journey through the hockey I was very much, like any little kid,
world was a roller coaster, and there afraid of the dark.
were times when I was left bitter.
[My wife] Kina has taught me bal- Astronaut CHRIS HADFIELD, m

20l6
ance. She has taught me how to let CONVEYSBUON about hlS chlldren's book. The Darkest Dark

29.
go of negative feelings. Since the
time I started playing pro hockey If you control the seed, you control

SEPT
until today, my life is as good as the food system. And you control
it's ever been. people, ultimately.

(LAUMANN)
Farmer NIIL player ERIC LINDROS, Farmer TERRY BOEHM, In

In a speech he delivered after bemg Inducted mto The Globe and Mam responding to the proposed

2OT6.
the Hockey Hall of Fame merger of conglomerates Beyer and Monsanto

T6.
(LINDROS) F‘ORT$NET(NOV14.2016).
SEPT
QUOTES
(BOEHM)
20l6).
T6.
PHOTOGRAPHY
(SEPT.
MAIL
HAYHURST
AND
BETH
GLOBE
THE
(LAUMANN)

SILKEN LAUMANN, In the Huff/mgttm Post

PHOTOS‘
(HADFIELD)
L

Formerforeign affairs minister LLOYD AXWORTHY,

on hrs behet that all Canadtans should wave a chance to attend

unlverstty In the National Post

COM ONS/JOE

I met Coco Chanel on my second You need a token self out there—
trip to France, and at first she that selfis the one that people hate
wouldn't speak with me. But then or love. That's the self that people
CREATIVE

she looked at my pictures and said feel they own. But you don't put
suddenly that she could speak your real self out there—that would
perfect English. be far too painful and difficult.
(PINSENT)

Photographer DOUGLAS KIRKLAND, SACHA TRUDEAU, on what he

ECCLES.

m The Globe and Mall learned from watcmng hts late father. former

prtme mtmstor PIOH'C Trudeau

I love, love, love what I do. I don't

ANDREW

need to be this big, huge superstar I wanted to create a sensation in

that’s on the side of every bus and on fiction that you get when you're
every billboard in New York. Maybe online and you fall down a rabbit
this comes with age, but I know what hole and you’re like, What the hell
1 can do and what I'm good Q' just happened? And you fall down
(RADVANOVSKY)

at. I've finally found out another rabbit hole.

at age 47 where I fit in.
BUREAU,

DOUGLAS COUPLAND, to

The G/obe and Matt. on hIS new book. Bit Rot

Soprano SONDRA RADVANOVSKY,

In The Globe and Mall

SPEAKERS

I went to Loblaws yesterday and an

In cultural terms and in film and old gentleman came up and said,
television terms, I live in an occu— “Oh, it’s you! You're one of the
NATIONAL

pied country. When I walk out of original Canadian actors."

my home, I look up, and nine times I said, "Well I didn't
out of 10, I look into the eyes of an go to auditions with 1].;
' I
I
American film star. John A. Macdonald!”
(AXWORIHY)

«V4
Actor ERIC PETERSON, Actor GORDON pmsem,
on CBC Radio‘s q In Zoe/nor Magazme
PHUIOS

QUOTES (AXWORTI—W) APRIL 29,2OIS. (KIRKLAND) JUNE 15.2016 (TRUDEAU) MACLEAN'S

(SEPT 8. ZOIG). (RADVANOVSKY) OCT. 4. ZOIB. (COUPLAND) OCT. I, 2016. (PETERSON)
APRIL I4 2015. (PINSENT) SEPT l4. 20I6.
L
HEALTH

4'

Itchy Eyes?
Jm- AN ITCH THAT’S difficult to especially if they’re damaged, not
scratch quickly escalates from a replaced often enough, improperly
mild distraction to a major vexa- cleaned or a poor fit. (An imperfect
tion, so it's little wonder that itchy fit may be the culprit if you feel like
eyes are a frequent complaint at you have a foreign object in your
ophthalmologists' offices. One eye or if you experience vision
likely cause: an allergic reaction. fluctuations when wearing con—
If your peepers are bothering you, tacts.) Follow the replacement
consider whether you've recently schedule given to you, and make
used any new products (creams, sure you wash and disinfect your
makeup, soap) that could have irri—
tated them. Eyes also commonly
react to pollen, dust mites and pet
dander. Avoid suspected triggers,
if possible, and use saline eye
drops to flush out any left-
over particles. You can
also take antihistamines,
in pill or drop form, to
ease allergic symp-
toms. Don't wear
contact lenses
until the warning
signs go away.
Contact lenses can
actually lead to itchiness,
ISTOCKPHOTO

28 03 2017 rdca
l
 lenses according to the instruc— missing lubrication and can often
tions that were provided with their relieve the discomfort.
cleaning solution. If you have additional symptoms,
Another possible such as eye discharge
reason for itchiness or a sore throat, if
is dry—eye syndrome, you're in a lot of pain

UP to
which can be caused or ifyour vision
by insufficient eye- declines, you may

half
moisture production have an infection
(due to aging, laser— or another problem
eye surgery or medi— requiring profes-
cations such as sional care. “There
decongestants and are many complaints
antidepressants) or of the world’s contact that may present with
lens wearers experience
eye moisture that red, itchy and watery
dryness, itchiness and
evaporates too eyes,” says Holly
other forms of discomfort.
quickly (caused by Shaw, a nurse advisor
smoke, dry air or for Allergy UK. “As
blinking less often). Over—the— some of the rarer eye conditions
counter saline drops, also known have the potential to be sight threat-
as artificial tears, will replace the ening, it's good to seek advice."

News From the

World of Medicine
Abstinence Easier Than patients who started treatment
Controlled Drinking two and a half years earlier. When
Some medical professionals think people agreed with their caregivers
problem drinkers can learn to cut about which goal to pursue, about
down on alcohol, while others 90 per cent of those who were
advocate avoiding it completely. attempting abstinence were suc—
A recent Swedish study followed cessful, versus only 50 per cent
VOORHES

up with 201 alcohol-dependent of those aiming for moderation.

THE

rdca l 03 2017 29
READER’S DIGEST

Tick Bites Triggering only what we do at work that will

Meat Allergies affect our well-being. It’s also how
A newly recognized allergy to red we relate to the people there. An
meat is emerging in tick-endemic analysis of 58 studies in 15 coun-
areas around the world, causing tries found that people who experi-
symptoms ranging from hives to ence a strong sense ofbelonging at
anaphylactic reactions. Reports the workplace tend to have better
from Australia, Europe, North overall health and a lower risk of
America, Central America, Asia burnout. We derive purpose and
and Africa suggest that some tick meaning from membership in
bites train the immune system groups, the researchers explained,
to identify a carbohydrate called and the benefit is even more pro—
alpha-gal—found in many mam- nounced when our colleagues also
mals—as a threat. The allergy can identify with the organization
be confirmed with the help of a or team.
blood or skin test. Sufferers are /1 ;\
\\
// '
encouraged to avoid beef, pork A"
and other red meats; some are -\_/

also sensitive to dairy.

TEST YOUR MEDICAL IQ
Fast-Food Swamps Raise
A chalazion is a...
Diabetes Risk
Living in an area with many fast- A. benign genetic anomaly.

food restaurants and few healthier B. cramp in the foot.

options, also known as a fast-food C. person with two different
swamp, increases the risk of devel- blood types.
oping diabetes by 79 per cent, D. lump in the eyelid.
according to a study out of the Answer: D. A chalazion is a
University of Toronto. Fast-food lump-like cyst that appears
joints did not greatly affect the risk in the eyelid, usually because
when there were enough cafes and the oil-producing glands are

sit-down restaurants for people to blocked. This common problem

often goes away by itself, but
frequent instead.
you can help the healing pro-
cess along by holding a clean
Health Affected by Work cloth soaked in hot water over
Relationships the eye for five to 10 minutes
Having a job suited to our person- three to four times a day.

ality and skills is nice, but it’s not

30
fiot’:
- 2017 rd.ca
LANTUS‘:

Always There W
w .
for m e
Continue your
adventure

There's only one LANTUS

\, 1 3

GeT TreatmenT suppor’r GT lanius.ca

SANOF' ’
Copwigm © 2017 sonofiiovenhs Canada no
All nghx‘s reserved.
‘Available onAdvil 12 Hour 30’s and 52’s.
Be sure this product is fight for you.
Read and follow the label.
 ~ ple tasks s1

Fast’ actm'g 12 hourf

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L
HEALTH

Case History
ILLUSTRATION BY VICTOR WONG

THE PATIENTS: Katie, 26, and Ella, 24, trips to various therapists. Laura had
of Boston undergone an amniocentesis in her
THE SYMPTOMS: Late—onset speech first pregnancy, but nothing unusual
and motor—skill delay had surfaced; Ella was subjected to
THE DOCTOR: Dr. David Sweetser, precise tests in utero to 100k for chro—
chief of medical genetics and metab- mosomal abnormalities. The results
olism at the MassGeneral Hospital were normal.
for Children Ella’s first 12 months were unevent-
ful, but then she, too, showed signs of
Jm- WHEN KATIE WAS BORN in developmental delay. As time passed,
1988, everything seemed fine. Her the gap between the girls' ages and
mother, Laura, worried that Katie's abilities continued to widen. They
baby babble and motor skills weren’t were referred to an autism specialist,
as advanced at seven months as those who diagnosed them with an atypi—
ofsome of her friends' kids, but the cal variant; their social interactions
pediatrician reassured her. It wasn’t and sustained eye contact set them
until Laura was pregnant with her apart from the standard presentation
second daughter, Ella, that it became of the disorder. Laura quit her job as
clear that something was amiss. a professor to devote her time to car-
Although bright and happy at one ing for her daughters—and finding a
and a half, Katie still hadn't taken her definitive diagnosis.
first steps and only said a few words: At age six, Katie's speech began to
"Mama," "Dada," "dolly," “bubbles.” deteriorate. She lost interest in play
The family's lives became a blur of and withdrew. Laura was terrified.

34 O3 2017 rd ca
 To her relief, Katie's condition sta- At last, the family's quest for an
bilized within a year. But over the answer was over. A Pitt-Hopkins
next decade, developmental pediatri- diagnosis often comes as a relief,
cians and s1x' geneticists were con- says Sweetser, because it’s typically
sulted. Every few months, the girls a random genetic mutation that's
underwent different exams. Their unique to the child and not detected
blood and urine were analyzed; they m' the parents. (Because Katie and
had muscle and skin biopsies and Ella share an identical mutation, one
were tested for mitochondrial dis- parent also carries the gene in a small
ease, Angelman syndrome (which subset of egg or sperm cells.)
affects the nervous system), Rett
— a —
syndrome (a severe brain disorder
in girls) and a host of other condi-
The clinic has created a
tions. The results were all negative.
The girls struggled with constipation, communityfor those who
urinary tract infections and insom- spent years seeking answers.
nia. Katie would periodically hyper-
ventilate, while Ella began having
seizures at age 13. Otherwise, their The best news? Pitt-Hopkins
symptoms were fairly identical. isn't progressive. Katie and Ella—
In Aprll' 2011, when the sisters were now in their mid-20s—are doing
in their early 205, the family met well. Their cognitive age ranges
Dr. David Sweetser, the chief geneti— from two to five years, depending
cist at the MassGeneral Hospital for on the skill area. They love music
Children, where the grr'ls were bem'g and playing in the sand on the
treated. "It was daunting to look at beach. "They're happy, friendly
their medical sheets," he says. “It was young women," Sweetser says.
a decades-long diagnostic odyssey." After the diagnosis, MGH launched
Sweetser tried a new sequencing the world’s first Pitt—Hopkin's clinic,
test that looks at every gene (all to improve quality of life for patients
23,000) and discovered a mutation and spearhead research that could
in a single one (TCF4) that plays lead to targeted therapies. The clinic
a crucial role in brain and nervous has created a community for families
system development. This glitch who, like Laura, had spent years
causes Pitt-Hopkins syndrome, a searching for answers. "lust knowing
disorder discovered in 2007 that's what the defect is can lead to better
only been identified in about 350 treatment—and hope for the future,"
people worldwide. Sweetser says.

r‘rfi—dca
03 - 2017 35
v" E
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 It hits women harder than it hits men, and it’s
more dangerous than breast cancer. Here’s
what you need to know about heart disease.

BY SYDNEY LONEY
PHOTOGRAPHY BY GABRIELLE SYKES

4—i—fivr—O
O3 2017 nice
COVER STORY
READER’S DIGEST

HOPE SARFI WAS SITTING at her desk in an Ottawa office the day
she decided it was time to go to the hospital. She hadn’t felt well
for almost a year but had blamed her busy job as a business analyst
for the anxiety, fatigue and heartburn that seemed to become more
persistent with each passing month. This time, though, was different.

“I started perspiring and I couldn’t GPs see men and women with the
catch my breath," Sarfi says. “I was same risk factors for heart disease,
going to drive myself to the ER, but they're more likely to talk to men
then I asked a colleague to take me." about symptoms and reducing their
It was a good thing, too—it turned risk than they are to women."
out Sarfi was in the middle of a mas- The fact that women don’t know
sive heart attack. their risks or recognize their symp—
It was February 10, 2014, and she toms has a lot to do with a gender
had just celebrated her 60th birth- gap surrounding heart disease, says
day. Sarfi had several risk factors for Lisa McDonnell, the program man-
heart disease—she was overweight, ager for the Canadian Women’s

PRODUCTION
didn’t exercise and was under a lot Heart Health Centre in Ottawa. This
of stress at work—but no doctor had inequality may be the reason why

RODEO
ever highlighted them as red flags. women have much poorer outcomes
When she'd asked her GP to find out and are 47 per cent more likely than

AGENCY)
why she felt lousy and periodically men to die in the five years following
experienced shortness of breath, a heart attack.
heart disease never came up; the McDonnell says that a combina-

(PHOTO
physician attributed her symptoms tion of biology—women's reproduc-
to everything from work to a lack of tive cycles have a tendency to affect HASARD:

physical activity. study results—and clinical bias

A lack of discussion about heart means that heart disease in women
PAR

disease is just one of the things that is under-researched, and therefore

frustrates Wendy Wray, the director of underdiagnosed and undertreated.
STYLING)

the Women’s Healthy Heart Initiative, “These sex-based inequities have

a nurse—led clinic at the Royal Victo- been attributed to a lack of public
(PROP

ria Hospital in Montreal that provides and professional awareness of wom-

individualized care for women, with a en’s coronary risk; knowledge gaps
PAGE:

focus on healthy lifestyles. regarding symptom presentation;

"It's an ongoing problem," Wray suboptimal screening and diagnos—
says. “Research shows that when tic approaches; and disparities in
PREVIOUS

4*[——[—2
O3 - 2017 rd.ca
 the application of evidence-
based therapies."
All of this is especially wor-
risome when you consider
that the American Heart Asso-
ciation states that one in three
women die of heart disease
each year—compared to one
in 36 of breast cancer and
one in 100 of ovarian cancer,
according to the American
Cancer Society. That's also
more than the one in four
men for whom cardiac events
are fatal. “But we hear very
little about it," Wray says. If
women don't know their risks,
they can’t do anything about
them—and 80 per cent of
heart disease is preventable.

HOW DO YOU KNOW were at high risk for cardiovascular

IT’S HEART DISEASE? disease, yet 78 per cent considered
When Sarfi arrived at the hospital on their risk to be low or moderate), but
the day of her heart attack, she was close to 50 per cent can't identify the
surprised when doctors wouldn't let disease's major symptoms.
her leave. “I couldn't believe that I'd The classic Hollywood moment
actually had a heart attack," she says. where a man suddenly clutches his
But an angiogram (an X—ray test that chest and drops dramatically to his
takes pictures of the blood flow in an knees isn't how most women experi-
artery) confirmed that her coronary ence heart attacks. Yes, women do
artery was 90 per cent blocked. Sarfi experience chest pain in 60 per cent
was immediately booked for a dou- ofcases, says McDonnell, who led the
ble bypass. national study, but that's often not
In 2014, a national survey in the their primary symptom. She notes
Canadian Journal of Cardiology that women are more likely to report
found that not only do women not so-called atypical symptoms, such as
PAT ERSON

believe they’re at risk (40 per cent unusual fatigue, shortness of breath,
lAN

rdca 03 2017 43
READER’S DIGEST

back pain, anxiety, flu—like symptoms larger arteries and won't pick up
and indigestion. “This convolutes the disease in small vessels," says Karin
issue, as both doctors and patients Humphries, scientific director for the
tend to think it could be something BC Centre for Improved Cardiovas-
else," she says. cular Health in Vancouver.
In fact, heart disease symptoms are
unrecognized in women up to 54 per
cent of the time, according to a 2010
study in the journal Heart. “If symp-
WHEN IT COMES
toms are dismissed in as many as half
TO TREATING HEART
of all cases, it's no wonder women DISEASE, WOMEN
have worse outcomes," McDonnell DO BEST IN REHAB,
says. (For men, misdiagnosis only BUT THEY DON’T
occurs up to a third of the time.) ALWAYS GET THERE.
Because they don't suspect they’re
in danger, women will delay going
to the hospital. The national survey Even when a woman’s arteries are
on heart health behaviours found blocked, the plaque that's causing
that almost 50 per cent of women the problem is frequently smoother
wouldn't call an ambulance out of and harder to see than it is in men's
fear, embarrassment or a desire not vascular systems. It's also usually
to bother anyone. “Timing is very more difficult to tell when a woman
important," Wray says. “The sooner has suffered a heart attack, because
we get our hands on a patient, the her body produces less of a particu-
more heart muscle we can save.” lar biomarker (in this case, a protein
released in the blood when some of
DIAGNOSTIC DILEMMA the heart muscle dies).
Coronary heart disease presents dif- “Women are seven times more
ferently in women than it does in likely to develop heart disease, but
men. This is problematic because 70 per cent of what we understand
most diagnostic tools are designed to about the condition is based on
find blockages in the major coronary research conducted on men, because
artery, but women are more likely women have only been included in
to have issues with the smaller, nar— about 30 per cent of cardiovascular
rower arteries (known as microvas- clinical trials," McDonnell says.
cular dysfunction). "The angiogram Fortunately, there is a relatively
is the gold standard for diagnosing new procedure in which doctors can
heart disease, but it’s designed for inject dye to identify problems with

44 O3 2017 rd ca
blood flow in the smaller vessels— McDonnell says. She also high—
and it can be performed at the same lights the rarity of a female—centred
time as an angiogram. It just needs approach: "The traditional rehab
to become standard clinical practice, model is male-centred, and the focus
Humphries says. 1's on exercise alone,” she says.
At the Women's Heart Health Cen—
GET TREATED RIGHT tre, new patients are put in small
Ten days after her surgery, Sarfi was groups led by women who have
sent home. “That was the scariest recovered mentally and physically
part for me. I felt safe in the hospi- from heart attacks and are manag-
tal,” she says. ing the disease well. “Women tend
She went to rehab, changed her to respond to support from people
diet (more vegetables, less meat, outside their immediate networks
sugar and salt), started a walking because they don't want to burden
program and took up yoga. Over the their families—the added stress has
next two years, she lost 24 kilograms. a negative impact on their cardiac
Still, recovering physically was the recovery," McDonnell says.
easy part. The psychological recov—
ery was harder.
Then Sarfi heard about the peer—
support program at the Canadian
DEPRESSION AND
Women’s Heart Health Centre in
ANXIETY CAN
Ottawa. Even though she doesn't INCREASE THE
consider herself a "group person," she RISK OF A SECOND
went every two weeks for six months. HEART ATTACK BY
“Being part of that program helped 50 PER CENT.
me move on,” she says. “We could
talk about what medications we were
on and discuss how we were feeling Women—centred peer programs
and what we were scared about." help patients cope with the psycho—
When it comes to treating heart social distress that accompanies
disease, women do best in rehab, but the condition. After a heart attack,
they don’t always get there. "There women are twice as likely as men
are a greater number of barriers for to suffer from depression and anxi-
women, who have many family and ety, which can increase their risk of
caretaking responsibilities, espe— a second episode by 50 per cent. It
cially if they must go to a clinic or also helps them face the fact that they
hospital outside their communities," have an incurable disease—but that

rd.ca O3 2017 45
READER’S DIGEST

even a few lifestyle changes might be during pregnancy, it doubles their

all it takes in order to prevent another chances of developing heart disease
heart attack. five to 15 years post-partum. “The
disorder goes away after delivery,
REDUCE YOUR RISK and they're just sent home; no one
The best news about heart disease talks about heart disease,” McDon-
is that so much ofit is within our con— nell says. She is involved in a post—
trol. In November, a study in the New partum program in Ottawa where
England Journal ofMedicine found mothers with pre—eclampsia are
that even the increased danger due flagged by their OB/GYNs and sent
to genetics (which can nearly double to the Women’s Heart Health Centre
risk in some cases) can be modified for a one—year cardiac-prevention
by lifestyle changes. program. "The initiative has reduced
The big challenge is educat— the risk of the women involved by 45
ing patients about what it is that per cent. Now we're training teams to
puts them in danger, McDonnell launch a similar program in Alberta,"
says. Both men and women have she says.
a greater chance of having a heart
attack if they’re obese, smoke, have 5‘
diabetes, high blood pressure or
HOPE SAREI’S
high cholesterol, but some of these
factors are heightened in women.
SYMPTOMS HAVE
Smoking puts younger women at a NEVER RESURFACED,
25 per cent greater risk than men, BUT SHE NOW KNOWS
and women with diabetes are seven NOT TO WAIT TO
times more likely than men to have GET HELP IF NEED ED.
heart disease, as well.
Marital stress can be another fac-
tor: researchers in Sweden found that Once women have the information
a combination of work and family they need, the next step is to talk to
pressures was accompanied by the their doctors, says Wray. “Don’t wait
highest risk and the worst prognosis for your GP to initiate the conversa—
in women's coronary disease. tion. Ask about your blood pressure,
Then there are the things men your cholesterol, your BMI, what
don't need to worry about, like activities to do and how much." Then,
menopause and pregnancy. Most if you do have a symptom you’re not
women don't know that if they had sure about, don’t hesitate to seek
pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure) assistance. “If you get sent home,

46 O3 2017 rd ca
 so what?" Wray says. “At least you
can rest easy knowing you've been v

.
checked out."
Sarfi's symptoms have never
resurfaced, but she says she now
ONE REASON
knows better than to wait to get help FOR THE RISE
when something feels off. She's still
in touch with the friends she made Over the past decade, the
incidence of heart disease in
in her peer—support group, and they
women aged 34 to 55 has
occasionally meet up. “My life is a
increased. One explanation is
lot different now," she says. “When spontaneous coronary artery
I started the program, it was really dissection, or SCAD, a condition
hard to face the fact that I'd had a that isn’t caused by plaque

heart attack. This is the first year buildup but rather by tears in
the arterial walls that occur
when I've actually dealt with it and
most often in otherwise healthy
am okay with calling it heart disease." and active women.
Although she feels healthier and “We‘d been told SCAD is
has an increasingly positive outlook, rare, but in 2011, I saw three
there are days when Sarfi worries cases in two weeks,” says
Dr. Jacqueline Saw, an interven-
about having another attack. Still,
tional cardiologist at Vancouver
her confidence in her abilities has
General Hospital.
increased, and she's taken up golf- For the past six years, Saw
ing, cross—country skiing and biking. has made SCAD the focus of
“I no longer use a heart—rate monitor her research and is currently
because now I'm able to judge how following 350 patients. Her
goal is to improve diagnosis
I'm doing and I'm more aware of how
(upgraded imaging tools, such
my body should feel when exercis- as intravascular ultrasound,
ing," she says. allow doctors to see tears
Sarfi is also involved in increasing inside the arteries), outcomes
awareness ofheart health, participat— and management. As with
other forms of heart disease,
ing in research studies and speaking
lifestyle changes can help—the
at last year's Women's Heart Health
key in this case is reducing
Summit in Ottawa. She plans to do stress. “I tell my patients that
more when she retires. “I learned a stress isn’t benign,“ Saw says.
lot, and it empowered me to take care "Managing it is crucial to both
your mental and your cardio-
of my own health and not wait for the
vascular health."
doctor to do it for me. Now I want to
help others do the same." K

rd.ca 03 2017 47
HHHHH

MIRACLES IN

EAL
LIFE
 “I Don’t Know if He Realizes
How Lucky He Was"

IT WAS 5:45 AM. on a morning in could explode within minutes, yet

March 2011. As Michael Shannon the man inside the vehicle appeared
drove along California’s Pacific Coast remarkably calm.
Highway, he could smell the sea. The The firemen doused the engine fire
pediatrician was heading to meet a and called for backup: they needed
friend for their regular Tuesday walk jaws of life to pry open the SUV. After
on the beach in Dana Point Harbor, in 20 minutes, with a second crew's help,
Orange County. Suddenly, a blanket of the man was extracted and Trokey put
white interrupted his vision. A semi- him on a gurney. As he sat with the
trailer truck had pulled onto the road, crash victim in the ambulance to Mis-
and the doctor had no time to react. sion Hospital in Laguna Beach, Trokey
“I remember the wham and the began to meditate on the man's name:
sound of breaking glass, and then Michael Shannon.
everything stopped," he says.
In the quiet after the collision, Shan-
non’s first thought was that he was
alive. His second thought was that he THE BOY GREW UP
had to get out—fast. His legs and feet, HEARING THE LEGEND
wedged beneath the crumpled dash— OE THE TIME THE
board, felt hot. But he was pinned. DOCTOR WATCHED
Help arrived almost instantly. OVER HIM UNTIL
Engine 29, a four—person unit from the HE WAS SAFE.
Orange County Fire Department that
includes two paramedics, was on the
scene in less than two minutes. The paramedic wondered if this
Paramedic Chris Trokey immedi- could be the same person who had
ately realized how urgent the situa— saved his own life 30 years ago, when
tion was. The front end of the Chevy he was a preemie and arrived, with
Suburban SUV was stuck under the panicked parents and a perilously
body of the semi. He could see the high temperature, at the very same
engine smouldering and knew it ER they were headed to now.

rd.ca O3 2017 49
After he helped save the lfie ofDr. Michael Shannon (right), paramedic Chris Trokey
realized the man had been his childhood pediatrician.

CHRIS TROKEY ENTERED the world Mike's hand. But he was tough,
10 weeks early in Iune 1986. Mike breathing on his own within hours.
Trokey and his wife, Dee, went to While he was in the NICU, his par—
Mission Hospital after her water ents commuted between Irvine and
broke. From there, they were rushed their home in Dana Point. During
by ambulance to the hospital at the those anxious first weeks, Mike and
University of California Irvine, some Dee searched for a local pediatri—
FRIEDMAN

40 kilometres away. cian who was skilled enough to

Weighing 1.4 kilograms at birth, cope with the health problems that
the baby could fit in the palm of premature babies often face. When
AMANDA

50 03 2017 rd.ca
they went for a first meeting with Dr. his feet and needed to have part of a
Michael Shannon, they liked him toe amputated. Shards ofglass were
right away, from his capable man— also embedded in his skin.
ner to his shoulder-length hair and Shannon recognized Trokey's
denim shirt. name at once. Although he's treated
After seven weeks, the baby was more children over the decades than
discharged in good health, but within he can remember, it's the ones who
a fortnight, he developed what Shan— need him most who stick.
non coolly calls “a pretty good-sized
fever”—dangerous for a newborn but
exponentially more so for a preemie.
As the fever soared, Shannon sug— EVERY YEAR ON
gested the family meet up with him THE ANNIVERSAR
at Mission Hospital. OF THE ACCID ENT,
There was no infant ICU at Mis- THE TWO MEN
sion at the time, so the doctor took GET TOGETHER
Trokey’s blood himself and did TO SHARE A MEAL.
a spinal tap to rule out meningi—
tis. Then he put the baby on an IV
antibiotic drip and had the parents The day after Shannon's surgery,
go home to sleep. Shannon stayed Trokey and the crew from Engine 29
with Trokey for two nights. On the went to visit the doctor in the ICU.
third day, the boy was discharged— This was unusual. As firefighters and
and he grew up hearing the family paramedics, they save lives as a mat—
legend of the time that Shannon ter of course. But this case was dif—
slept in the hospital with him until ferent, because it was such a close
he was safe. call—“I don’t know ifhe realizes how
lucky he was," says Trokey—and such
AFTER THE CAR accident, in an a coincidence.
echo of what had happened three Both men still marvel at the
decades earlier, Trokey remained by connection. They're busy people,
Shannon’s side in the trauma room but every year on the anniversary of
for a few minutes. “I asked, ’Do you the car accident, they meet for a
remember me? You stayed with me meal. And in 2015, Trokey became
when l was really little,” says the the father ofa baby boy. His name is
paramedic. Shannon had suffered Porter, and he's had no major health
a perforated small intestine, had problems so far. Michael Shannon is
second- and third-degree burns on his pediatrician.

rd.ca 03 2017 51
 “I Want to Make You
My Daughter”
FROM NARRATIVELY

“MAY I SPEAK with Jeanne Kerr?” Calif, on May 1, 1975—a day before
I asked, crossing my fingers. I turned 13. I was confused by her
"Who's speaking?" the voice excitement regarding my impending
crackled. birthday. Then came balloons, cake
"It’s Regina Louise. I think we may and strangers singing to me as if I were
have met a—" a big deal. I had prayed to meet some—
“I don’t believe so," said the voice. one who could see that I was worth the
The line went dead. trouble I was born into. In no time, it
I crossed out another entry on my felt good to be where Jeanne was.
long list. I'd last seen the woman I In court, my social worker pres-
was seeking in 1977, when I was 15. ented evidence of how I had sabo-
LOUISE

That day, I'd stood in a juvenile court- taged foster—care placements so I

room prepared to speak about what it could return to the shelter, to Jeanne.
would mean to me for Jeanne Kerr, my "It’s unnatural, Your Honor, how
REGiNA

beloved counsellor, to adopt me. much she loves this woman,” she said.
I’d met Jeanne when I'd arrived at the The judge agreed, and Jeanne’s
Edgar Children’s Shelter in Martinez, petition to adopt me was denied. I
COURTESY

52 O3 2017 rd.ca
believe my social worker objected Hesitantly, I punched in her name.
because Jeanne was white and I That, too, came back with nothing.
was black. The National Associa- Had I made Jeanne up? But there
tion of Black Social Workers had was the blue corduroy dress she'd
issued a statement against trans- hand-sewn for me, with rainbows in
racial adoption, seeing it as an attack my favourite colours. I’d lost it many
on black families. I was put in a resi- years ago. There was the way she
dential treatment centre for severely called me "sweetheart," and the way
emotionally disturbed girls. From she smelled of Cream of Wheat, milk,
there, I'd go through 30 placements vanilla and brown sugar.
before landing in a group home in Then I remembered that, as a child,
San Francisco. I stayed there until I had been warned that everything I
the age of emancipation, after which said and did was put in a file. I called
I flailed through life. Then I became the county and asked for it to be sent to
a mother, and everything changed. me. Inside was a stack of papers filled
Now I had someone else to love and with legal jargon, incident reports and
to think about. letters from institutional directors. But
there was no road map to Jeanne.
BY 2002, I co-owned and operated With two days left to corroborate
two hair salons, and my teenage my story, I asked a friend who had
son was thriving. I decided to write access to research databases for help.
a book about my life from ages 13 to My deadline passed before she fin-
15, a journey that included meeting ished her search, so I changed the
Jeanne and losing her. names of my characters. "Jeanne
“Your memoir claims abuse and Kerr" became “Claire Kennedy."
neglect, so you need someone to
verify what you’ve written," my edi- MY FRIEND SENT me the search
tor said. I had two weeks. results a week later. She had an
My writing coach suggested I find address! I wrote Jeanne a letter, but
Jeanne. I couldn’t bear to tell her that the day before I left on my book tour
I’d spent years ordering phone books it was returned to me, stamped with
from Nova Scotia to Hawaii, the num- the words ’A’ddressee Unknown.”
ber of times I’d been hung up on, the In Los Angeles, I was interviewed
dead ends I'd followed. But now I by a radio talk show host who asked:
could scour the Internet. I began "You’re a spokesperson for foster
searching on countless sites. Mar- care, and you have a thriving busi-
riage licence? Nothing. Certificate ness and a well-adjusted child. What
of birth? Nothing. Death certificate? more would you like?"

fl—firdca
03 O 2017 53
READER’S DIGEST

I replied without hesitating. "Some- chance to thank her. My deepest wish

one to say they are proud of me." was on the verge of coming true.
Afterward, back in my hotel room,
I checked my email and saw a mes- THREE WEEKS LATER, Iwas pacing
sage with the subject line: "I am so at LaGuardia Airport in New York City,
proud of you, sweetheart!" waiting out a storm that had delayed
My heart stopped. Ieanne. A for- Ieanne’s plane. Finally, a woman
mer co-worker of hers had reached rushed toward me, her long grey-
out after reading an article about my white ponytail' swinging under a base-
book in which the reporter revealed ball cap. She wore a sweater splattered
the real name of Claire Kennedy. with gigantic peonies, green polka-dot
I immediately dialed the number capri pants and kitty-cat ankle socks
Ieanne had included in her message. paired with a well—worn pair of run-
"Hello?" The voice at the other end ning shoes. I looked at her, head tll'ted
sounded hushed, just as I remem- like a puppy. I would not have worn
bered. Ieanne had a particular way of those pieces together if God himself
saying “hello” that softened me from had ordered me to, and I flushed with
the inside out. mortification. It was then that I knew
“I can’t believe it’s you,” I said I was not only a daughter, but her
through my bewilderment when she daughter. I earned a full adolescent-
answered. "I never stopped thinking hood of stripes in that one moment.
of you." “Hi...Mommy," I said. I felt electri-
"You were my first child, and I fied saying the word for the first time.
never stopped loving you," she told My entire life I had guarded it, my
me. “They said I was the wrong body a safe-deposit box, holding it
colour and that I wasn’t allowed to until I could give it its rightful place.
love you." Ieanne continued. "I have
something I want to give you." IN NOVEMBER 2003, I stood in the
I held my breath. same juvenll'e courtroom in California
“I want to make you my daughter." where Ieanne’s adoption request had
From the moment I had lost Ieanne, been denied m' 1977. Iwas 41. After the
I had known she was the mother I was judge had us swear to honour and love
meant to have in this life. I went on each other as mother and daughter for
to live as if she'd never left, as if she the rest of our lives, I turned to Ieanne
were there to guide my actions, and and whispered, "Thank you for loving
I believed that one day I'd have the me when no one else could.”

NARRATlVELY (MAY 25. 2016). COPYRIGHT C 2016 BY REGlNA LOUlSE, NARRATNE LY

54
*l_l—O3
~ 2017 rd.ca
 Reunited on the
job: sisters Meagan
Hughes (left) and
Holly O’Brien.

“I Knew She Was Out There"

HOLLY O’BRIEN’S PATIENT was just talk to her,” the patient told O’Brien.
being nice. She probably didn’t know "Maybe you’re from the same town."
that South Korea has more than 50 After O’Brien and Hughes met,
million people or that there are over they did begin to notice parallels.
1.7 million Korean—Americans liv— They were both certified nursing
ing in the United States. The patient assistants; they were both orphans
just thought it was interesting that who had been adopted from South
O’Brien hadn't met Meagan Hughes, Korea by American families; and
another Korean—American nurse their reason for ending up at the
ERUZZESE

working on the same floor—and orphanage was the same: abandon—

the same shift—at Doctors Hospital ment. "So I said to Holly, ‘I know
of Sarasota, in Florida. “You should this sounds crazy, but what's your
MICHELLE

rd,ca 03 2017 l 55
READER‘S DIGEST

Korean last name?” recalls Hughes, family from Alexandria, Va., but her
now 45. “And as soon as she replied Korean childhood never left her.
‘Shin,’ I said, 'No way. That's my last Hughes wasn’t haunted by lin—
name too.'" gering memories; instead, she was
haunted because she didn’t have any
recollections. Adopted when she was
four by a couple in Kingston, N.Y.,
AFTER MORE THAN she couldn't remember either of her
l2,000 KILOMETRES biological parents.
AND FOUR DECADES, Meeting O'Brien offered a chance
HOLLY O’BRIEN HAD to fill in the blanks. A little over a year
FOUND THE MISSING ago, the nurses decided to take at—
PIECE OF HER PAST. home DNA tests. They were a match:
half—sisters. O'Brien was shocked but
also relieved. After more than 12,000
Suddenly, the coincidences kilometres and four decades, she'd
seemed more than merely interest- finally found the missing piece ofher
ing. For years, O’Brien, 47, sensed past, working just a few metres away
that she'd had a half—sister back in from her.
Korea. Though her mother had dis—
appeared when she was an infant, TODAY, O’BRIEN—MARRIED with 110
and she was only five when a train children ofher own—has become an
killed her father, she had a memory aunt to Hughes's two daughters. And
of living, briefly, with her dad, his the sisters wear matching necklaces,
second wife and a baby girl. O'Brien each with a heart-shaped charm, as a
was ultimately adopted by a loving symbol of their bond.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.

Just like everybody else.

MARGARET MEAD

I always wanted to be somebody, but now

I

realize I should have been more specific.

LILY TOMLIN

56 O3 2017 rd.ca
 a"
Laughter
THE BEST MEDICINE

it THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES

While eating Chinese takeout one
THE BEST JOKE evening, my son noticed there was
I EVER TOLD no fortune in his cookie. “Oh, how
unfortunate!" he exclaimed.
WESLEY McKAY, TIumdcr Buy, Out.
Judging by all dream sequences
in movies, I wonder if anyone in
Hollywood has ever actually had A SCOTTISH MOTHER VISITS her
a dream first—hand. son at his Toronto apartment and
asks, “How are you finding your
Find Adams’s stand-up,
neighbours, Donald?"
comic strips and animations at
stevepatrickadamscom. “Mother,” says Donald, “the peo-
ple in this building are so noisy. One
won’t stop banging his head against
the wall, while the other screams
and screams all night long."
“Oh, Donald! How do you manage
to put up with them?"
“What can I do? I just lie in bed
quietly, playing my bagpipes."
reddlt com

[DOGS ON COFFEE BREAK]

DOG 1: "I heard a great joke.”
DOG 2: "Oh yeah?"
DOG 1: “Knock kn—”
*Dog 2 goes nuts.* ’ id WRITEPLAY

OF ALL STRIPES
“BOOpu
Send us your original jokes.‘ You could
Zebra walking past a self—service earn $50 and be featured in the magazine.
Checkout. y aVJAZMASTA See page 10 or mica/joke for details.

rd.ca O3 2017 57
THE ED
BY 4.3. MAcKlNNON FROVM NAUT/LUS

r—'—'—d.ca
O3 - 2017 59
READER’S DIGEST

LEX HONNOLD HAS HIS National Geographic, on 60 Minutes,

own verb. “To honnold" in commercials for Citibank and
is to stand in some high, BMW and in a trove of viral videos.
precarious place with He also inspires no shortage of
your back to the wall, staring into the peanut-gallery commentary that
abyss. To face fear, literally. something is wrong with his wiring.
The verb was inspired by mes— In 2014, he was part of an expedi—
merizing photographs of Honnold tion team that gave a presentation
in precisely that position on Thank at the National Geographic Society
God Ledge, 550 metres off the deck headquarters in Washington, DC.
in Yosemite National Park. In 2008, The audience was there to hear from
Honnold side-shuffled across this climbing photographer Jimmy Chin
narrow sill of stone to become the and veteran explorer Mark Synnott,
first rock climber ever to scale the but above all, they had gathered to
sheer granite face of the park's iconic gasp at tales about Honnold.
Half Dome peak alone and without Synnott got the biggest response
a rope. Had he lost his balance, he from a story set in Oman, where
would have fallen for 10 long seconds the men had travelled by sailboat
to his death on the ground below. to visit the remote mountains ofthe
Honnold, 31, is history's great— Musandam Peninsula. Coming upon
est free—solo climber, meaning he an isolated village, they went ashore
ascends without rope or protective to mix with the locals. 'A't one point,”
equipment. Above about 15 metres, Synnott said, "these guys start yelling
any fall would likely be lethal, which and pointing up at the cliff. And we’re
means that, on epic days of soloing, lik'e, ‘What's going on?‘ And of course
he might spend 12 or more hours in I’m thinking, ‘I'm pretty sure I know.’"
the “death zone"—the term used to Up came the photograph. There
describe the zone in which a rope— was Honnold, the same casual dude
/ SGUARESPACE

less rock—climbing fall would likely who was sitting onstage in a grey
be fatal. On the hardest parts of some hoodie and khakis, looking like a toy
CHIN

climbs, his fingers will have no more as he scaled a huge, bone—coloured

contact with the rock than most peo- wall behind the town. He was alone
ple have with their phones’ touch- and without a rope. Synnott summed
screens, while his toes press down on up the Villagers’ reaction: “Basically,
edges the width of a stick of gum. they think Alex is a witch."
SPREAD)J1MMY

All of this has also made Honnold When the presentation ended, the
the world's most famous Climber. adventurers autographed posters for
He has appeared on the cover of the crowd. Three lines formed. In
(PREVlOUS

60 03 2017 rd.ca
one, a neurobiologist waited to share In Honnold, Joseph initially antici-
a few words with Synnott about the pated the typology of a typical high—
part of the brain that triggers fear. sensation seeker, but, some scans
The scientist leaned in close, shot a later, another possibility arises: the
glance toward Honnold, and said, super sensation seeker, who pur-
“That kid's amygdala isn't firing.” sues experiences at the outer limits
of danger yet can tightly regulate the
AT ONE TIME, HONNOLD tells me, he mind and body's responses to them.
would have been afraid—his word
choice—to have psychologists and
scientists looking at his brain and
probing his behaviour. “I've always EVEN THOUGH
preferred not to look inside the saus— THERE’S N0 ACTIVITY
age," he says. “If it works, it works. IN THE FEAR
Why ask questions? But now I feel CENTRE OF HONNOLD’S
like I’ve sort of stepped past that." BRAIN, HE HAD
And so, on this morning in March BEEN REALLY SCARED.
2016, he is laid out, sausage—roll style,
inside a large, white tube at the Medi—
cal University of South Carolina, in "I’m excited to see what his brain
Charleston. The tube is a functional looks like," Joseph says as the scan
magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) begins. “Then we'll check what his
brain scanner, essentially a huge amygdala is doing, to see: does he
magnet that detects activity in the really have no fear?"
brain's different regions by tracing
blood flow. OFTEN REFERRED TO AS the brain's
The cognitive neuroscientist carry- fear centre, the amygdala is more
ing out the scan is Jane Joseph, who precisely the centre of the brain’s
in 2005 was one of the first people threat—response and interpretation
to perform fMRIs on high—sensation system. It allows us to, for example,
seekers—people who are drawn to step back from an unexpected preci-
intense experiences and who are pice without a conscious thought.
willing to take risks to have them. Its response to stressful stimuli also
Psychologists have been studying triggers other sensations familiar to
sensation seeking for decades be— almost everyone: racing heartbeat,
cause it often leads to out—of—control sweaty palms, tunnel vision.
behaviours such as drug addiction Meanwhile, the amygdala sends
and problem gambling. information for higher processing in

‘l—rdca
03 2017 51
READER’S DIGEST

the brain’s cortical structures, where “Looking at those images, does

it may be translated into the con- that count as being under stress?” he
scious emotion we call fear. asks Joseph.
An initial scan of Honnold’s brain “Those images are used widely
appears on MRI technician James for inducing fairly strong arousal
Purl’s computer. “Can you go down responses,” Joseph replies.
to his amygdala? We have to know," "Because, I can’t say for sure, but
says Joseph. I was like, whatever,” Honnold says.
Purl scrolls down untll' two almond- The photographs struck mm as dated
shaped nodes materialize. 1‘He has and jaded. “It’s llk'e looking through a
one!" says Joseph, and Purl laughs. curio museum."
Whatever else explains how Honnold
can bring hlm'self to climb without a A MONTH LATER, HAVING stud-
rope, it isn't because there's an empty ied Honnold’s scans, Joseph is on a
space where his amygdala should be. conference call to Shanghai, China,
Inside the tube, Honnold is view- where Honnold is en route to climb
ing a series ofimages that flick past the underbelly of the stalactite-
at the speed of channel surfing. The Spangled Great Arch of Getu.
photographs are meant to disturb or “What do all the pictures mean?"
excite. "At least in non-Alex people, Honnold asks, looking at the fMRI
these would evoke a strong response images Joseph has sent him. "Is my
in the amygdala," says Joseph. The brain intact?"
selection includes corpses with their “Your brain's intact," says Joseph.
facial features bloodily reorganized; ‘A‘nd it's quite interesting."
a toilet choked with feces; and m'vigor— Even to the untrained eye, the rea—
ating mountain-climbm‘g scenes. son for her interest is clear. Joseph
After about half an hour, Honnold had used a control subject—a high—
emerges looking sleepily doe-eyed. sensation-seeking male climber of
Raised in Sacramento, Calif., he's similar age to Honnold—for com-
intensely laid back—his nickname is parison. Like Honnold, the control
No Big Deal, which 1's his assessment subject had described the scanner
of almost every experience he under- photographs as unstimulating. Yet
goes. Like most expert climbers, he is in the fMRI images of the men's
leanly muscled, with the exception of responses, with brain activity indi-
his fingers, which permanently look cated in electric colours, the control
like they've just been slammed in a subject’s amygdala might as well be
car door, and his forearms, which a neon sign. Honnold's is grey. He
bring to mind Popeye. shows zero activation.

62
—'—l703
- 2017 rd.ca
 Technician James Purl
and neuroscientist lane
Joseph put Honnold into
an MRI tube to measure
his brain’sfear levels.
\

Could the same thing be happen— But even though the neuroscientist
ing as he climbs ropeless into situa— can't spot activity in the fear centre
tions that would cause almost anyone of Honnold's brain, he was scared,
else to melt down in terror? Yes, says really scared, on Corrugation Corner.
Joseph. Where there is no activation, He “overgripped"—his word—the
she says, there is probably no threat big, friendly holds, but obviously, he
response. Honnold really could be didn't give up after that first experi—
LLC

feeling no fear up there. ence. Instead, he donned what he

US.

called “mental armour" and crossed

HONNOLD REIECTS THE IDEA that the threshold offear again and again.
he is fearless. To the wider world, he’s Acts that had once seemed outra-
NETWORK

known as a figure of preternatural geous began to appear less so. Moves

calm as he hangs by his fingertips on in which he hangs only by his fingers,
NGC

the fine line between life and death. say, or, as he did in Iune 2016 on a
AND

No one was watching, though, route called the Complete Scream,

LLC

more than a decade ago, when he climbing ropeless up a difficult pitch

was 19 years old, standing at the without first rehearsing the move—
base of his first major ropeless rock ments while protected by a rope.
climb: Corrugation Corner, near Lake Without going back in time to scan
Tahoe, Calif. On the arcane grade Honnold’s brain before he started as
lNTERNATIONAL.

scale climbers use to describe a a free soloist, there is no way to know

route's difficulty, Corrugation Corner how much nature and how much
is a 5.7—more than 15 points easier nurture went into his fearlessness. But
NETWORK

than Honnold's maximum skill level to Quebec—born Marie Monfils, who

NGC

at the time. Still, the line is 91 metres heads the Monfils Fear Memory Lab
high. “You'd fall and die," he says. at the University of Texas at Austin
’2016

rd.ca 03 2017 63
Scans compare Honnold’s brain (left) with a control subject’s (right), a rock
climber ofa similar age. Crosshairs mark the amygdala, a group ofnuclei involved
in generatingfear. Honnold’s remains inert, showing no activity whatsoever.

and is also an associate professor in Revisiting memories to cast them

the department of psychology, Hon— in a new light, Monfils says, is almost
nold's process sounds like an almost certainly something we regularly do
textbook approach to dealing with fear. without being aware of it. But doing
Until recently, Monfils says, most so actively, as Honnold does, is bet—
psychologists believed that memories ter. She calls it “a beautiful example
became "consolidated," or unchange— of reconsolidation up dating.”
able, soon after they were acquired. Visualization—which we might
Since 2000, that understanding has think of as lore-consolidation in lay
shifted. Research shows that every terms, whereby a person pictures
time we recall a memory, it undergoes a future event rather than a past
reconsolidation, meaning we can add one—works much the same way. "To
new information or a different inter— review move after move, you'd expect
pretation—even turning fearful mem— that he did consolidate his motor
ories into less fearful ones. memory and as a result probably had
Honnold keeps a detailed climbing an increased sense of competence,”
journal in which he revisits climbs and Monfils says.
notes what he can do better. For his Feelings of competence, in turn,
most challenging solos, he also puts have been shown to reduce anxiety,
a lot of time into preparation. To get which helps explain why, for exam-
ready for one 365-metre-high ascent, ple, people who are fearful ofpublic
he even visualized everything that speaking (as Honnold used to be, by
could go wrong—including falling off the way) feel less anxious about it
and bleeding out on the rock below— as they do it more often, develop—
JOSEPH

to come to terms with those possibili— ing and reinforcing their skills in
ties before leaving the ground. the process.
JANE

64 O3 2017 rdca
"THE IDEA OF THE super sensation Sanni McCandless, in Europe. Iwant
seeker—who is defined by having to know if his new awareness of his
this motivation to pursue these km'ds atypical brain' has affected his sense of
of positive and thrilling experiences self. No, he says, the discovery that his
but at the same time having control amygdala sleeps in his brain like an
and regulation over his responses— old dog in an Irish pub hasn't changed
is important," says Joseph. “I think anything. But that isn’t to say it hasn’t
it could teach us a great deal about given him pause for reflection.
potentially treating substance-abuse On a recent rest day from ch‘mbing,
and anxiety disorders.” he says, he and McCandless decided
For example, many high-sensation to try a via fermm near Lauterbrun-
seekers' problematic behaviours nen, Switzerland. This is a kind of
involve intense experiences that can climbing route with artificial holds,
be pursued impulsively and without such as rungs and ladders. The
immediate consequences, such as climber wears a safety harness, which,
binge drinking or drug use. (Hon- of course, Honnold didn’t bother with.
nold has always avoided alcohol and "But at a certain point, I was like,
drugs.) Ioseph wonders if that energy actually, this is kind of hardcore.
could be redirected into high-arousal Like I needed to pay attention," he
activities—such as rock climbing, but says. The via ferrata, it turned out,
with protective gear—that by their climbed across a rock wall on a series
nature involve constraint, premedi- of rebar rungs set 914 metres off the
tation and specific goals, reinforcing valley floor. The weather threatened,
different life patterns. McCandless was near tears, and after
At the very least, it might be pos- recent rains, water streaked down the
sible for any one of us to work a bit of limestone face and onto the hand-
Honnold's magic. You may not have holds, footholds and their heads.
the traits of a super sensation seeker “I definitely thought about how I
or be able to quench your amygdala process fear," Honnold says. What
on command, but with effort and he realized was that, at least in this
gradual, repeated exposure to what case, he didn’t. He’d been in similar
we fear, any one of us might muster situations so many times that it had
courage we didn't know we had. become normal. There was nothing
to process. “This 1's not scary," he
THE NEXT TIME I catch up with Hon- said to himself, "because this is
nold, he's climbln‘g with his girlfriend, what I do.”

FROM “THE STRANGE BRAIN OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST SOLO CLIMBER." BY J.B MMKINNON.
NAUT/LL/S (AUGUST 11, 2016). NAUTlL US

‘l—W
03 - 2017 65
 Expert tips for
deduttering your home
 ! LIFE LESSON

1:

FOR MANY OF US, the feeling of each one, ask yourself: does it serve
having too much stuff can cause me well? Is it broken? Do I use it?
panic. Since spring is a season of Remote controls can be stashed in a
new beginnings, it can be the per- basket; magazines can be recycled.
fect time to pare down what's in Even something as unwieldy as a col-
your home—a daunting task, even if lection 0f VHS home videos can be
you’re organized by nature. digitized, says professional organizer
Remember: decluttering doesn’t Elinor Warkentin of Goodbye Clutter!
mean getting rid of everything you in Vancouver.
own. Rather, it involves taking time to If you've been keeping gifts, heir-
consider your lifestyle and recognize looms or anything expensive solely
what's working for you, what isn't out of guilt, just don’t. “Your goal
and why you’re hanging on to stuff. is to make your home comfortable
As the following experts can attest, for you," says Cherri Hurst, owner
tackling your house one room at a of Toronto's Hurst Class Organiz-
time can be a winning strategy. ing. “Your affection and love for the
person who gave you these objects
doesn't change ifyou let go of them."
"Look around as if you are a visitor
and this is your first time in the space,"
says Regina Leeds, the Los Angeles— Unless you're Old Mother Hubbard,
based author of 2008's One Year to an your kitchen cupboard is likely full
Organized Lfie. "Does the room reflect of mismatched china, oversized
the reality of today, or has it become a roasting pans and souvenir mugs.
monument to the past?" Montreal-based Kathleen Mur-
Next, sort objects and decide what phy of Organizing Options recom-
to keep and what to get rid of. With mends getting rid of anything that‘s

rd.ca 03 2017 67
l

l
READER’S DIGEST

damaged, neglected or unpleasant touched in years are some of the

to use. “You’re the Chagall of your things Warkentin has seen lurk—
kitchen. You need good tools, and ing underneath bathroom sinks. "If
you want to enjoy the experience," you're not certain where to start,
she says. try attacking your vanity from top
It may be tempting to hang on to to bottom,” she suggests. Unused
objects in case you need them some— prescription medication can be
day, but that's not a valid reason to properly disposed of at a pharmacy.
hoard stained, mismatched Tupper- Unopened toiletries can generally be
ware. “For every 10 things you give donated to a women's shelter.
up, you may end up regretting one. Group items in clear categories
Save the space for something you're and commit to using everything
using now," says Hurst. up before buying more. "That way
you’re reminded not to buy five tubes
oftoothpaste at once. To reinforce a
new behaviour, you have to live with
“LISTS HELP YOU the consequences of the old one,"
FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE says Murphy, who recommends going
CONTROL, AND YOU through bathroom cabinets at least
CAN SEE PROGRESS,” once a year. If you want to take advan—
SAYS ORGANIZER tage of a great sale, reserve a clearly
KATHLEEN MURPHY. designated shelf or area in your closet
for duplicates, so you'll remember to
draw on your own supply.
Once you've pared down those
cooking utensils, streamline your
kitchen to enhance the experience of Warkentin often sees home offices
making and eating a meal. Anything full of reference materials, such as
you use on a daily basis should be books and binders, that are rarely, if
easily accessible, says Murphy, who ever, consulted. "People have a sense
suggests storing items such as baking that they need this stuff to function,"
tools, juicers and giant soup pots on she says, but in general, they usually
higher shelves or in a closet. do just fine without it. Check to see
if any ofyour hard copies are avail—
able online. And if you're holding on
Expired medication, yellowed Band— to something you haven't consulted
Aids, rusty safety pins and personal in years, consider getting rid of it.
care products that haven't been Gather items like pens, file folders,

68 O3 2017 rd.ca
stationery and other office supplies Above all, remember: decluttering
into categories and assess what you your home won't happen overnight.
truly use and need. Enlist a trusted friend or a profes-
Surplus pens and paper can come sional and recognize it may get worse
in handy while decluttering, as before it gets better. Be realistic about
making a list of spaces or item cat- your expectations and stay positive.
egories that you’d like to tackle may As Leeds points out, "Empty space is
help keep the process moving along, full of possibility."
says Murphy. "Lists help you feel
like you have control, and you can
see your progress." (Iust pare down LOOKING FOR A NEW HOME
FOR YOUR OLD THINGS? HERE
your supplies once you’ve finished
ARE SOME SUGGESTIONS.
with them.)

MDEQCAS‘s‘ETTES Digital Treasures

The place you park your car can eas- will convert VHS-based family mem-
ories to DVD or electronic format. Visit
ily become a graveyard for things
digitaltreasuresca for more information.
you don't want in the house, says
VJ‘TC‘..E~€E,N‘ EQUIPMENT The Canadian
Murphy. Spare tires for cars you no
Diabetes Association will pick up kitch—
longer own, paint tins, canned food enware from your house, as well as elec-
and boxes belonging to grown chil- tronics, clothing and cloth-based items.
dren are frequent offenders when it "renewsee Visit sheltersafeca for a
comes to garage clutter. comprehensive list of nearby women's
When deciding what to get rid of, shelters, and contact individual shelters
“Rust is a good clue," says Warkentjn, to determine whether they‘ll accept
donations of personal care products.
who recommends investm‘g m‘ a shelv-
ing system to keep things off the floor. MED..lc"NAT.lC2l~l Shoppers Drug Mart and
Loblaws have around 1,800 locations
If you're sick of storing other people’s
across the country that will dispose
items, give them a deadline—if they
of leftover drugs; call local pharma-
don’t pick up their stuff by then, you’ll cies to ask if they're equipped to
be getting rid of it. collect unused prescriptions.
Ifyou’ve been holding on to bulky
B’QQK‘a" Check with local public or
exercise equipment in the hopes school libraries to see if they’re open
that you'll finally get in shape, a to receiving donations for themselves
timeline can help. “Tell yourself, If I or for a fundraising book sale.
don’t use this bike in the next three Sfi:€:‘:§t‘i’i‘r~ei‘é g:‘”§UZPMENT Sell gear in
months, I’m going to take up walk- good condition to Play It Again Sports.
ing," says Murphy.

rfil—idca
03 ~ 2017 69
 l .,
. 'l!
.
>N

,' RD VAULT

. 0 as”
After Wally Eamer is shot during a vicious
armed robbery in Honduras, it’s up to his wife
and three young children to keep him alive

: TERROR
“()N THE
()AI BY JIM HUTCHISON FROM READER'S D/GEST.1999

70 i 03 2017 l rd.ca
 (¥
i

‘»~
(k!

_
READER’S DIGEST

“LOOKS LIKE A BREAKDOWN ," said Wally Earner, swinging his

grey Toyota Land Cruiser around the dilapidated truck blocking
the road's single lane. His wife, Sharleen Thompson, peered
warily at the five men in and around the vehicle. Breakdowns
were common on the dusty highways of central Honduras, but
so were roadside robberies.

Helping others came naturally to While Wally checked under the

the Victoria, B.C., couple. Sharleen, hood, a small, wiry man sauntered
45, was teaching first aid in remote up to the Land Cruiser, stopping at

WEST
Honduran villages, while 48-year— the passenger side. Smirking, the
old Wally, a British Columbia parks stranger drew a .22-calibre semi-
director on a leave of absence, was automatic from a hip holster and
using his management skills to aid pointed it at the children in the
small businesses. Their year-long back seat. Gwen threw up her hands
stint in a Central American volunteer to ward off the gun while Struan

YANYSHIN/VISONS
program affiliated with the Anglican shrank behind his big brother. "No!"
Church of Canada would, the couple Sharleen shouted as she rolled up

(é‘rJOHN
had decided, provide the experience the window.
of a lifetime for their three children: Wally whirled around at his wife's
Gil, 14, Gwen, 11, and Struan, 8. cry. He approached the gunman, who

PORTRAIT)
"What’s the problem?" Wally asked pointed the pistol in his direction.
the group in Spanish as they drove by “Come,” Wally commanded, walking

(FAMILY
on the afternoon of January 3, 1998. to the rear of the Land Cruiser. The
"It won’t start," said one of the men. man followed, his gun levelled at
Wally considered the situation: it was Wally’s chest.
1:15 p.m. and hot—and getting hot- “Give me your guns," the man
MASTERFILE;

ter. It might be hours before another demanded. His assumption was rea-
vehicle came along. Besides, the local sonable; anyone in Honduras who
police had assured them their cho- could afford an expensive vehicle
sen route for a week's holiday in the would likely have a gun to protect it.
(BACKGROUND)

Caribbean Bay Islands was safe. “No,” Wally said, shaking his head.
“Stay in the car. I'll see if' I can help," He figured if the attackers realized
Wally told his w1f'e and kids, taking the the family was unarmed, they’d do
SPREAD:

precaution of pulling up 30 metres as they pleased—robbers were known

ahead. Leaving the engine running, to kill their victims, leaving no wit-
he walked over to greet the men. nesses. The man backed up to the
PREVIOUS

W
03 - 2017 rd.ca
rear passenger window and again Suddenly, the robber became more
pointed his weapon at the children. agitated. A man at the truck grabbed
“I want your guns and money," his bag to leave, not wanting to wit—
he growled. ness what was going to happen. G0
Desperate to get the kids out of now, Sharleen! Wally pleaded silently.
the line of fire, Wally yanked open The gunman took three steps back,
the rear door on the driver's side and aimed and fired. Wally spun and
ordered the children out. They stood dropped to his knees, crying out,
by the wheel well, the Land Cruiser’s clutching his groin as searing pain
body shielding them from the gun- shot through his body.
man. Wally walked back behind the Sharleen knew she should speed
car and again motioned the robber off, but she couldn't bring herselfto
over. He had a plan. leave the man she loved to die. She

FEW WOMEN IN HONDURAS DRIVE,

AND IT DIDN’T OCCUR TO THE GUNMAN
THAT SHARLEEN WOULD KNOW HOW.

IN THEIR 20 YEARS Of marriage, ran back to where he lay sprawled on

Wally and Sharleen had taken many the ground, one arm on the vehicle’s
adventure trips, and their teamwork bumper and blood seeping from be—
had gotten them out of tight spots tween his legs.
in the past. For their time in Hon- The gunman had turned his back
duras, they had devised a strategy in to them, waving his pistol and shout—
case they were assaulted: each would ing at the other men. He had disabled
try to get the children to safety, even the driver and could take his time.
if it meant leaving the other behind. Few women in Honduras drive, and
As the gunman focused on Wally, it didn't occur to him that Sharleen
again demanding guns and money, would know how.
Sharleen slipped behind the wheel "We’ve got to go," she urged Wally,
and the kids quietly climbed back dragging him toward the car. With his
in. Her eyes on the rear—view mirror, wife supporting him, Wally hopped to
Sharleen prayed her husband could the door on his good leg and climbed
talk his way out. in on top of the kids.

rdca i 03 2017 73
READER'S DIGEST

Sharleen got into the driver's seat bone, severing both the femoral artery
and threw the Land Cruiser into gear. and vein. Without pressure on these
She willed herself not to look back, major blood vessels, Wally would
concentrating on a left-hand bend bleed to death within minutes.
just ahead. If I’m shot, Gil will have “Get pressure on his wound!”
to take over once we're around that Sharleen ordered, flooring the gas.
corner, she thought. Gil pushed down with both hands
Looking back, Gil saw the robber on top of his father's. Wally gri—
whirl at the sound of the revving maced in pain, his eyes rolling back
motor. The man's face contorted with in his head.
rage and he sprinted after the vehicle. Months of helping out with their
He caught up to the open rear win— mother's first—aid sessions were pay—
dow and fired wildly. Gil ducked as ing off. Gwen was about to breathe

SHARLEEN SKIDDED TO A HALT

AT A FORK IN THE ROAD. A WRONG TURN
WOULD COST WALLY HIS LIFE.

a bullet thudded into the top of the air into her father's lungs when, to
front passenger seat. Another bullet her relief, his eyes fluttered open.
zipped through Sharleen's plastic “Dad's conscious!" Gwen yelled.
seat belt cover, just missing her thigh. “Okay, press as hard as you can,"
Empty cartridge casings spewed over Sharleen urged. Gwen jammed her
Struan as a third slug plowed into the elbow down on top of Gil’s and Wal—
metal window frame. Then the gun— ly's hands, but blood spurted between
man was left behind, still trying to their fingers and soon soaked the seat.
shoot at the Land Cruiser. Sharleen drove as fast as she dared.
Sharleen skidded around the cor- After 10 minutes, she skidded to a
ner and shouted, “Is anyone hit?” halt at a fork in the road. A wrong
"Nobody," Gil assured her. turn would cost Wally his life. Then
The Children stared at their father, she spotted a little restaurant with
who was pressing his hand to the wid— people sitting around. "Which way
ening stain ofblood soaking his white to Iuticalpa?" she yelled, aware that
shorts. The bullet had glanced off the the city was the site of the nearest

74 O3 2017 rd.ca
 hospital. A young man approached. his right leg would get more blood into
Shocked by the sight of Wally and his torso. Gil and Gwen struggled to
three children covered in blood, he lift his leg and brace it on the window
pointed down the left‘ side of the fork. frame. For a few minutes, Wally felt a
Sharleen took off, wheels spinning. little better, but soon numbness crept
God, we really need you now, she up from his legs into his arms.
prayed. There was nothing she could After another 10 minutes of driv—
do for Wally but drive. It was up to ing, Sharleen flagged down a truck,
the kids to keep their father alive. and a passenger volunteered to guide
them to the hospital. In Iuticalpa, as
WALLY HAD NEVER FELT such pain. they raced down side streets, horn
"Give me something to bite on," he blaring, people leaping out of the
told Struan. Rummaging around, way, Wally said weakly, "I don't think
Struan found Wally's red address I can last another five minutes."
book. As he watched his father bite “You can do it, Dad. It won't be
down hard, he bent forward and much longer," Struan urged. Gasping
kissed his forehead. “I love you, for air, his breathing laboured, Wally
Daddy. Please don't die," he pleaded. felt himself slipping away.
“I'll do my best," Wally said, but he Two blocks from the hospital,
knew he was badly wounded. “Roll Sharleen screeched to a halt behind
LACHANCt

down the window and put my good a pickup truck waiting at a red light.
leg out," he said, hoping that raising She leaned on the horn. “Get out of
YVES

the way!" she screamed in frustra—

tion. The truck didn't move.
N “Hang on," she muttered. Rolling
forward, she nudged the truck's rear
bumper. It still didn't budge. Rev-
ving her engine, she pushed the
CARlBBEAN truck to the side of the road and
SEA roared past.
Thirty minutes after the
shooting, the family turned
HONDURAS through the gates ofthe small
, 's LA PAZ
g TEGUCIGALPA .~ '9 JUT'CALPA ,W ‘ ’ ' ‘ rural hospital.
.— EL 34 u
I , ‘N. o '
LV4°°k~ d /‘
.
I . v. _. 4 ~"" a
SAN
I I
WALLY'S FACE WAS ASHEN as
SALVADOR
3' NICARAGUA two orderlies rushed him into
- .I
the emergency room.
PACIFIC
OCEAN
rd.ca 03 2017 75
READER’S DIGEST

“What blood type are you?" a doc- Gil watched the two bags of saline
tor asked as she cut off his shorts and disappear at an alarming rate.
started an IV drip of sah'ne solution to After half an hour, Wally’s saline
raise his blood volume. ran dry and his IV line turned red
'A‘ negative," he croaked. with blood. They had no choice but
The doctor looked at Sharleen. to turn it off.
“I’m so sorry. We don't have any. You Thirty minutes later, Wally began
will have to go to Tegucigalpa,” she to shiver uncontrollably. Gwen yelled
said, applying a pressure bandage. at the driver to pull over. She and Gil
Sharleen was stunned. “But that's saw that their father’s face had gone
over two hours from here!" she pro- white and his eyes had dilated. They
tested. The doctor told her there was realized he was going into shock. “We
no other way. need blankets, water and painkillers!"
At 3 p.m., after more than an hour the children called to their' mother.
at the hospital, Wally was wheeled Once they had covered their father
aboard an ambulance. His leg was with blankets, the ambulance headed
tightly bandaged from groin to toe. off again. Wally gritted his teeth in
Two pints of saline—the hospital's agony, his leg having ballooned to
last—dripped into his arm. The twice its normal size. Whenever he
simple clinic hospital had no atten— felt blackness closing in, he heard
dants for the trip, so Gil and Gwen his children’s voices: "You’re okay,
rode in the back with Wally while Daddy. Don't go unconscious."
Sharleen and Struan followed in the Wally’s head rocked back and forth
Land Cruiser. as he mumbled in Spanish, “God,
"Whatever you do, keep him talk- please protect my family."
ing," Sharleen implored her children. "Dad! Dad! Wake up!" Gil shouted.
“Don't let him go into shock." But Wally felt himself being drawn mm
Before they could take off, how- a peaceful place. He couldn’t think of
ever, they learned that the ambulance a better way to die, with his family
was out of gas. Sharleen paid the $40 around him. Then he remembered
to fill the tank. Then, finally, lights where he was. You promised the kids
flashing, they roared off through the you’d try, he scolded himself, fighting
winding countryside toward the Hon- his way back to consciousness.
duran capital.
The external bleeding had slowed SIREN BLARING, THE AMBULANCE
to a trickle, but internal bleeding sped through the hilly streets of Tegu-
soon swelled Wally's leg and scrotum, cigalpa. At 5:30 p.m.—more than four
and he writhed in agony. Gwen and hours after the shooting—the family

7—l—lis
O3 ' 2017 rd.ca
arrived at the hospital. None of the Nine days later, a boil appeared on

l
staff preparing Wally for surgery could his buttock. “That's no boil. That’s
believe he had survived for so long. the bullet," Sharleen declared. It was
He had lost half the blood in his body. removed, and 24 hours later Wally
"I’ll do my best," vascular surgeon left the hospital on crutches.
Iosé Carlos Alcerro Diaz told Shar- Wally's recuperation in Honduras
leen, “but I don’t know if we can save lasted long enough for Sharleen to
his life, much less his leg.” oversee another four first—aid courses.
In the operating room, Alcerro By February, one month after the
Diaz clamped off the bleeding artery shooting, he could limp a kilometre,
and vein. Both were badly torn. He and the family drove to the Carib-
carefully sutured the damaged ends bean Bay Islands—sticking to the
of the vein, then began the delicate mam‘ highway—for the holiday they’d
‘

task of stitching a four-centimetre missed. They returned home to B.C.

artificial graft to join the destroyed in March.
ends of the artery. The Canadian Embassy reported
After more than two hours, the sur- the crime to the Criminal Investi-
geon held his breath as he removed gation Branch in Iuticalpa. Armed
the clamps, then grinned with relief as with the Eamers' description ofthe
blood flowed into Wally’s swollen leg. gunman, the police conducted an
investigation, but the robber was
BY THE NEXT DAY, the patient was never caught.
stable and his children were allowed Wally Earner kept the dented bullet
to see him. They entered Wally’s that nearly killed him as a reminder
room one at a time, and he gripped of his good fortune.
their hands. “Thanks for being there “You have to be proud of kids who
for me,” he said. saved your life," he says, smiling.

I constantly tell my nine-year—old twins how important it is to

stay in school, and yet every day, they come home.

y ujANDYLASSNER

Started a cover band called A Book so no one can judge us.

' gSHUTUPMIKEGINN

fl‘77
rd.ca 03 2017
 As Kids See It

"We’re twins, but he was built 10 minutes before me.”

TWO FOR ONE LOCATION, LOCATION

When I told my seven—year—old Many years ago, my husband and I
daughter we were expecting twins, were babysitting our nephew, who
she said, “You don't need two. Can't was six at the time. He excitedly told
you send one ofthem back?" us that when his dad arrived, they
goodnetorg were going to go watch Home Alone,
a movie he'd seen advertised. When
MY DAUGHTER WAS ENJOYING a we casually asked which theatre
bedtime snuggle with her three- they’d be going to, he paused. Obvi—
year—old son, Luka. Making conver- ously thinking of all those commer-
sation, she asked him, “What makes cials, he replied, ‘A'r theatre near
you happy?" you!” CATHRYN HNATUK, Provost, Alta.

He eagerly responded, “Chocolate

milk." IF I COULD, I WOULD
“And what makes you sad?" my My three—year—old grandson sat in the
daughter continued. bathroom and watched as I removed
Luka replied, sombrely and qui— my dentures and brushed them. After
WElGHAM

etly, "The other kind.” a few minutes, he asked, "Can you

ROGER KOWALCHUK, Thunder Bay, Ont. take your ears off, too?" S .W.
DAVID

78 O3 2017 rd.ca
WHO ARRR YOU, REALLY?
I recently retired from the RCMP
®
AND ONE FOR THE KIDS
after 37 years of service, and my
wife bought me a regimental sword, Q: What do elves learn in school?
which I mounted on the wall in our A: The elf-abet. babycentercom

rec room. The first time our six-year-

old grandson saw it, he turned to my
daughter, wide-eyed, and asked who OVER DINNER, l EXPLAINED the
the sword belonged to. When she health benefits of a colourful meal
told him it was mine, he replied, to my family. "The more colours, the
“Grandpa was a PIRATE?" greater the variety of nutrients," I
GLEN HANER, Calgary said. Pointing to our food, I asked,
“How many colours do you see?"
ECLECTIC MENU "Six," volunteered my daughter.
THREE-YEAR-OLD CHARLIE: "What “Seven if you count the burned
did you have for lunch, Leo?" parts.” Facebooktom

SEVEN-YEAR-OLD LEO: “I don’t

really remember." BEST DRESSED
CHARLIE: "Fish? Toucans?" We were preparing to go see a film,
JENNIFER WARREN, Montreal and my daughter Julie appeared
wearing a sparkly tutu and sweater.
MY DAUGHTER LOOKED AT an Me: "Whoa, we’re just going to the
Etch A Sketch the other day and movies. That’s a little too fancy.”
asked, “Mom, was this an iPad when Iulie: "Mom, does the movie theatre
you were a little girl?" llttlehoots.com say ‘No fancy allowed'?" llttlehootsrom

TIME AFTER TIME LANGUAGE BARRIER

While driving with my granddaugh- When my little cousin put perfume
ter, I grew annoyed with the slow in the fish tank, her mom asked her
driver ahead of me and said, “Come to apologize to the fish.
on, Sam, get moving." My cousin looked at my aunt,
A few days later, we found our- puzzled, and said, “But Mommy, I
selves on the same road behind don't speak fish." goodnetorg

another sluggish driver. "Come on,

Sam, get moving," I muttered again. Are the children you know fluent in
funny? Tell us about them! A story could
Immediately, my granddaughter
earn you $50. For details on how to
replied, "That's not Sam. Sam has submit an anecdote, see page 10 or visit
a blue car.” gcflnet rd.ca/joke.

fi—l—O3
rd.ca 2017 79
“ ENVIRONMENT
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03-2017 ,1 rd.“‘“ca
5 1« '
Maid
READER'S DIGEST

SIX YEARS AGO, Mark Letteri, a phll'- plaguing residents of the southern
osophy professor at the University of Ontario city, and surrounding Essex
Wm'dsor, first heard what he took to be County, since at least 2011. Mysteri-
faraway jackhammers outside his w1n'- ously, not everyone can hear it, but
dow. “I thought, That doesn’t make those who do refer to the disturbance
sense," he says. “Why would somebody as a deep, Vibratory rumble that’s more
be dom’g construction at 10 p.m.?" physical sensation than sound. To
When Mike Provost, a retired them, the hum is invasive and unset-
insurance salesman in the Windsor, tling. It rattles wm'dows, makes sleep
Ont., neighbourhood of Old Sand- unattainable and reportedly sends
wich Town, first noticed the noise, dogs into fits of hysteria. For years, this
he attributed it to thunder rumbling small group of Canadians, known as
over nearby Lake Erie. “I thought, “hearers,” has been trying to conv1n'ce
Gee, there must be a storm over the the rest of the world that it exists at all.
water, but I looked up and the skies
were as blue as blue can be." PROVOST, THE 63-YEAR-OLD man
In October 2015, Liz Paszkowiak- who first mistook the hum for thun-
Gillan, a mother in rural Amherst- der, has been keeping track of noise
burg, Ont., listened, terrif'ied, as what disturbances on his property for the
she thought was a semi truck idled past five years. He’s a goateed, burly
outside her house around 1 a.m. "I'm guy, youthful for a grandfather who
in the middle of nowhere, and I’ve walks with a cane. In February 2015,
got hardly any neighbours around at his split-level house, he handed me
me," she says. "I must have gone to a binder larger than War and Peace.
the window a good five or Six" times It was full of entries—at least 20,000—
that night, and I definitely didn’t noting the time, date, type and inten-
sleep.” There was nothing there. sity of every intrusive sound.
Industrial noise can be common in His records mention hums, as
Windsor—Essex County, thanks to the well as pulses, vibrations and pres—
local salt mines, the McGregor Quarry sure releases, which he likens to "the
and surrounding automotive plants. Enterprise going into warp speed.”
For most people, these are minor He grades each sound from one to
nuisances in a place with affordable 10, depending on its volume, and
homes and tree-lined streets. With has collected more than 10 terabytes
any luck, those disturbances follow of audio from three digital recorders
predictable busm‘ess hours. mounted in his backyard.
The Windsor hum is different. It's Provost is the most active poster
a low-frequency sound that has been on the 1,540-member Windsor—Essex

82
fil—N
' 2017 rd.ca
County Hum Facebook page and has around the British port city ofBristol,
been the group’s administrator since but by the 19805, similar noises were
last summer. He types and uploads haunting citizens of Largs, a Scot—
his notes to the forum daily and sends tish vacation town. The disturbance
between 150 and 200 pages ofrecords hit Middle America in the early '90s,
every month to the federal environ- first reported in Hueytown, Alabama,
ment minister, the minister of foreign and then Taos, New Mexico. Hearer
affairs, the prime minister and the communities now make up a constel—
two Windsor-area MPs. He's tried to lation of seemingly arbitrary dots on
get other Facebook posters to do the a map: rural Oklahoma; coastal Mas-
same—corroboration could get the sachusetts; southwest Germany; the
government's attention. suburbs around Syd-
The Facebook page ney, Australia; Calgary;
has a small cadre of and, more recently,
participants: mostly NEWS REPORTS Toronto’s Leslieville
hearers but also a few DESCRIBE THE neighbourhood.
conspiracy theorists SOUND OF The locations seem
and trolls. One poster THE HUM AS A random, but the narra—
laments the “lack of SLOW*MOVIN G tives are similar. News
empathy and support TRAIN,OR AN reports describe the
from local mayors.” sound as omnidirec-
AIRPLANE
Another suggests that tional and low-pitched,
STUCK IN
the hum may have links like a slow—moving
to the Russian Wood—
THE SKY. train or, as many have
pecker device, a Soviet put it, “an airplane
radar system rumoured stuck in the sky." The
to have been used in mind-control phenomenon could be rooted in
experiments. Yet another tells Pro— hysteria, but then why are the com—
vost to “stop doing acid.” plaints so localized? Hum hearers,
for the most part, reside in a few spe—
WINDSOR ISN'T THE first munici— cific places. Explanations range from
pality to be plagued by inexplicable the prosaic (factories and industrial
low—frequency rumbles. In 1973, New infrastructure) to the outlandish
Scientist ran a story about people in (transmissions from outer space or
Great Britain who were afflicted by residual noise from the Big Bang).
“a low, throbbing background noise In 2002, the Board of Public Works
that no one else [could] hear." Such and Safety in the city of Kokomo,
complaints were most pronounced Indiana, commissioned a study in

nice 03 2017 83
READER’S DIGEST

response to a decade of hum com- ability to hear it. He couldn't, but

plaints. Researchers triangulated the hours later, a student walked in and
noise to two sources: a cooling tower inquired about "the awful noise."
at a DaimlerChrysler factory and an Low-frequency sound permeates
air compressor at a plant owned by concrete walls and travels across
metal—alloy manufacturer Haynes extraordinary distances. Seismolo—
International—strong evidence that gists detect earthquakes thousands
these noises can come from industrial of kilometres away by measuring
sources. Those who prefer paranor- low-frequency ground vibrations
mal theories, however, point out that, much lower than the hearing range.
although Chrysler and Haynes enacted It 1's thought that the brain deter—
measures to quell their mines noise direction
noise emissions, the by measuring the time
Kokomo hum hasn't lapse between when a
entirely disappeared. sound hits one ear and
When hum com— reaches the other. But
plaints ramped up in low-frequency sound
2004 in Auckland, New waves are longer than
Zealand, Tom Moir, an the diameters of our
associate professor of skulls. They seem to
electrical engineering reach both ears simul-
with a specialization in taneously, confound—
signal processing at the ing our ability to figure
Auckland University of out exactly where they
Technology, was skep— come from.
tical. Still, he visited Just as there are
one hearer at her home, where he super tasters, there seem to be su—
played low—volume tones below 60 per hearers, too. Almost all ofus can
hertz—a frequency near the bottom hear sounds in the 20— to 50—hertz
end of the audibility spectrum. range if they're loud enough, but a
Moir instructed the woman to turn few of us can hear them even when
her back to his controls. He switched they’re quiet, which may explain
the sound off and on and told her why hum hearers are outnumbered
to alert him when she heard the by the happily oblivious.
changes. “She got it right 100 per cent
of the time,” he says. Moir returned to IN 2011, THE WINDSOR hum became
his office, where he played the tone a local media sensation, and in 2012,
to see whether he could develop the the community established a hum

84 03 2017 rd.ca
 hotline. More than 10,000 people of human skeletons. In 1888, workers
called in to complain—enough to detached the island from the main-
convince Ontario’s environment land to accommodate a shipping
ministry to conduct a two—month canal. Since the Detroit Iron Works
study that involved placing sound took over in 1901, Zug has produced
sensors in residential and industrial hundreds of milh’ons of tons of steel,
locations. The federal government been the site of gruesome injuries
hired Colin Novak, a professor of and deadly explosions and provided
engineerm‘g with a research specialty fodder for more than a few local leg—
in acoustics and psychoacoustics at ends. The SS Edmund Fitzgerald, a
the University of Windsor, to further giant freighter that inexplicably sank
investigate the issue. Based on the into Lake Superior in 1975, was sup-
evidence available, Novak chose to posedly destined for Zug, and there
focus on one of the noisier spots: the are rumours of a top—secret peni-
banks of the Detroit River, which sep- tentiary on the island. It’s here, on
arates Canada from the United States. this strange strip of land, that some
Zug Island, Mich., sits in between believe the Windsor hum originates.
those banks. It's owned and oper- The United States Steel Corpo-
ated by the United States Steel Cor- ration tightly restricts access to its
poration and is home to one of the 1,900 employees. (US Steel declined
largest steel mills in the US. It’s an to comment for this story.) Adam
undeniably creepy place. To get Makarenko, a Toronto filmmaker
close, you must drive to the south- working on a documentary about the
ern shore of Detroit’s ravaged Delray hum, recalls driving up to the island
neighbourhood. You're unlikely to on the American side with a camera
encounter other humans, but you'll and “getting cornered right away by
pass crooked houses, brick facades security guys in Broncos." On the site,
fronting non-existent buildings, and the clamour of industry is all around:
the remains of a Roman Catholic jackhammer-like chugging, horn
church, stained glass long shattered. blasts and a faint, omnipresent ring.
Despite the ghostly surroundings, the To sift through this cacophony,
island is eerily alive—a sinister mess Novak installed two monitors
of belchm‘g towers and twisted tracks equipped with sound-analyzing
on which railcars carry liquid pig iron software, one on the banks of the
from soot-black furnaces to a nearby river and one that rotated between
finishing plant. various hearers’ residences. He also
The area was once an indigenous made occasional boat trips to the
burial mound containing hundreds edge of the island, bringing with him

rfl—lidca
03 - 2017 85
READER’S DIGEST

a pentangular array—a spiky gadget something that taxed its blast fur—
outfitted with 30 microphones that naces beyond their normal capacity.
produce high-level data on sound After 2013, reports dwindled, sug—
direction. During one trip, a boat gesting that the company had altered
carrying men with binoculars trailed whatever operations were behind the
him in the night. worst ofthe noise.
For the first four months, Novak But after the disturbance sub—
found nothing. Then, around mid— sided, about 50 people continued
night one evening in July 2013, the to be haunted. They logged com—
exhaust stacks at Zug emitted a plaints at city hall and risked ridicule
ghostly blue flame, and Novak's sen— by posting on the hum Facebook
sors caught a 35—hertz forum. They might
rumble emanating have gone unnoticed,
from the island—one except that on April 17,
that was detectable at IN APRIL 2016, 2016, Windsor—Essex
Windsor homes four WINDSOR WAS County was besieged
kilometres away. BESIEGED BY A by a window—rattling,
The steelmaking BONEiSHAKING bone—shaking racket,
process, he says, is “a RACKET. THIS prompting the Windsor
black—magic art" in TIME, MANY Star to proclaim that
which iron and lime- the bums noises “were
RESIDENTS
stone are bombarded some of the worst
NOTICEDi NOT
with superheated air at in years." This time,
temperatures as high as
JUST HEARERS. many residents—not
1,700 C. A blast furnace just hearers—noticed
that hot “will come the clamour. Provost
alive," says Novak, “and the walls and his counterparts granted inter—
will move in and out like a massive views to The Globe and Mail (and,
speaker, emitting a giant roar.” At a later, the Guardian). Brian Masse, a
remove of several kilometres, that Windsor—area MP, travelled to Wash-
roar could be heard as an oscillating, ington last June to discuss regulating
low—frequency hum. noise emissions coming from the
Clearly, there is a hum in Wind- Detroit region.
sor, although by Novak’s reckoning, But the mystery still hasn't been
it isn't as constant as some residents solved. Novak's research suggests
insist. He suspects that in 2011 and that the Windsor hum is a sporadic
2012, when hum complaints were phenomenon, most likely the prod—
rampant, US Steel was producing uct ofoperations at Zug Island. But if

86 03 2017 rdca
l
that's true, why do a handful ofpeo- obsession? The answer, perhaps,
ple hear the noise all the time? is both. What you hear is, in part,
While no one knows for certain, determined by what you listen for.
one plausible hum explanation can
be found in the study of psycho- AT THE END OF my meeting with Pro-
acoustics, a branch of psychology vost, we stand on his deck so he can
that considers how states of mind smoke. He tells me that he hears the
affect sound perception. hum, albeit softly—he grades it a two
Low-frequency noise is all around out of 10—and I confess that I hear
us—the by-product of exhaust fans, nothing except wind and children
cooling towers, electric wires vibrat- playing in a nearby backyard. "I'd feel
ing in air and wind swishing over a lot better," he says, "if US Steel
dips in the landscape. Imagine you would go, ’Yeah, it's us. We're work—
are a Windsor resident born with ing on fixing it."’ He acknowledges,
an enhanced ability to hear such however, that without sustained me-
sounds. In 2011 and 2012, you were dia attention and government inter-
bombarded with frightening noises est, there's little chance a major
from the direction of Zug Island— corporation will admit to a group of
noises that, for understandable Canadians that it’s responsible. “I’ve
reasons, you fixated on. By fixating, been told that this has become a
you trained your brain to distill such hobby, and I guess I'd have to agree,"
sounds from the ambient metropolis, he admits. He looks down at the log-
and now you hear them constantly. book in his lap. “It takes up all of
Are they real or the product of human my time." In

- 20l6. SlMON LEWSEN FROM CAN YOU HEAR lT?‘ THE WALRUS (SEPTEMBER 20l6) THEWALRUSCA

Whenever people tell me “You’re going to regret that in the

morning,” I sleep till noon because I'm a problem-solver.

ANONYMOUS

I’ve never understood the phrase “You snooze, you lose.” I’ve hit

the snooze button eight times and | feel like a champion.

’ g DARREN_WILES

rd.ca O3 2017 87
DEPARTMENT OF WIT

DOGS VS. CATS WINE VS. BEER

‘ 'A‘ dog teaches a boy fidelity, ‘ 1‘ “Wine: a constant proof
perseverance and to turn around that God loves us and loves to see
three times before lying down.” us happy."
ROBERT BENCHLEY, hum (Iris! BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

, A l . “Cats are smarter _ -_ a

"Why beer is better
than dogs. You can't get eight cats than wine: human feet are conspicu—
to pull a sled through the snow." ously absent from beer making."
JEFF VALDEZ, producer STEVE MIRSKY, author
lSTOCKPHOTO

88 O3 2017 rdvca
OPTIMISTS VS. PESSIMISTS and rich food. He was healthy right
POINT: 'An‘ optimist 1's someone who up to the day he killed himself.”
falls off the Empire State Building and JOHNNY CARSON
after 50 floors says, ‘So far, so good!’"
ANONYMOUS FATE VS. FACT
POINT: "There’s nowhere you
COUNTERPOINT: “The nice part can be that isn't where you’re
about being a pessimist is that you meant to be."
are constantly bem'g either proven JOHN LENNON

right or pleasantly surprised."

GEORGE WILL, columnist COUNTERPOINT: “I have noticed
that even people who claim every-
SIMPLIFICATION VS. EMBELLISHMENT thing is predetermined and that we
POINT: "If you are out to describe the can do nothing to change it look
truth, leave elegance to the tail'or." before they cross the road."
ALBERT EINSTEIN STEPHEN HAWKING, physicist

COUNTERPOINT: "Ifyou are going OPEN MIND VS. SLIGHTLY

to tell people the truth, be funny or LESS OPEN MIND
they will kill you.” POINT: “Those who cannot change
BILLY WILDER,filmmaker their minds cannot change anything.”
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW, playwright
APOLITICAL VS. POLITICAL
POINT: "When you have bacon in COUNTERPOINT: "By all means let's
your mouth, it doesn't matter who’s be open-mm‘ded, but not so open-
president." LOUIS CK, eamedian mjnded our brains drop out."
RICHARD DAWKINS, scientist
COUNTERPOINT: "lust because you
do not take an interest in politics CRITICISM VS. ART
doesn’t mean politics won't take an POINT: “This is not a book to
interest in you." PERICLES, Greek leader be tossed aside lightly. It should
be thrown with great force."
VIRTUE VS. VICE DOROTHY PARKER, critic and writer
POINT: "The greatest wealth
is health." VIRGIL, poet COUNTERPOINT: "If criticism had
any real power to harm, the skunk
COUNTERPOINT: “I know a man would be extinct by now."
who gave up smoking, drinking, sex FRED ALLEN, comedian

rfifl
03 - 2017 89
O
F
O
I
Q
X
U
O
F
Z
 HEALTH

)1
The Nightmare of
SLEEP
EATING BY R.M. VAUGHAN FROM VAN W'HVKLE'S

IMAGINE GOING TO your new love the film industry, Dave is a sleep eater.
interest's house for an overnight visit, In the simplest terms, that designation
and when you wake up in the morn- refers to someone who rises in the
ing, you’re mortified at what destruc- middle of the night, in a somnolent or
tion you might have left in the kitchen. near—slumbering state, and devours
This alarming scenario is a real—life whatever they can find. Sufferers are
possibility for Dave. A 50—year—old often unaware of what they're doing,
who lives in Montreal and works in despite the fact that it may happen

r‘l—lidca
03 2017 91
READER’S DIGEST

several days a week—even multiple massive mess in the shared kitchen—

times in the same night. and devoured all the bread that had
As is often the case with sleep eat— been designated for group meals. In
ers, Dave harbours a lot of shame. general, he says, he has constant anxi-
“How do you explain that you’ve ety whenever he winds up sleeping in
consumed a new jar of peanut but- the same place as other people.
ter, a halfloaf of bread and an entire
carton of milk?" he says. ’A‘nd if you LITTLE IS KNOWN about SRED, which
happen to be up when I'm emptying wasn't officially recognized as a disor—
the pantry, just try to stop me." der until the early 1990s; even less is
known about how to cure it. Those
who struggle with it have been written
off as uncontrollable gorgers, people
SLEEP EATING IS unable to tame their own urges.
A PERFECT STORM Even today, sleep eaters are often
OF INTERSECTINC presented with stigmatizing psycho-
COMPULSIONS: TO EAT, logical assessments or told they're
TO FEEL SATISFIED simply not eating properly. Many
AND TO SLEEP. family physicians don’t have enough
information about this condition
and thus misidentify SRED as a
Sleep—eating disorder; also known as compulsion that's not sleep related.
sleep-related eating disorder (SRED), A full diagnosis can only be acquired
is a type of parasomnia—an umbrella with video polysomnography—based
term for a group of disruptive sleep— sleep tests—which involve machines
movement disorders—that’s notori— to monitor one's heart rate, muscle
ously difficult to treat. Compared to, activity and other functions—plus
say, sleep aggression or sleep-related psychiatric and neurological testing.
sexual assault (both on the parasom- Dr. Carlos H. Schenck, a profes-
nia scale), devouring the contents of a sor of psychiatry at the Minnesota
fridge sounds relatively harmless. Medical School and the Minnesota
But it's no mere case of the munch- Regional Sleep Disorders Center, was
ies: SRED, which has nothing to do on the team that originally diagnosed
with bad habits or bingeing, can SRED in 1991. A specialist in para-
change everything from a person's somnias, he describes sleep eating
body size to their relationship with and related conditions as a triggering
loved ones. Dave recalls a mortify‘ing of instinctual behaviours that “emerge
cottage trip with friends where he left a inappropriately" during sleep.

92 03 2017 rdca
l
 SRED, Schenck says, often arises scientific evidence to the contrary,
during adolescence or early adult- body size has become a moral issue.
hood in sleepwalkers. Sleep eaters Though SRED isn't caused by a pre—
often injure themselves while gainm‘g existing eating disorder, it could eas—
access to food or preparing meals. ily lead to one.
And they may wake up to find a ter- Two of my friends have SRED.
rible mess—piles of wrappers and They share a common narrative: both
containers—that serves to heighten started sleep eating at an early age,
the anxiety the disorder causes. both were shamed for their "gluttony,"
Contrary to popular belief, SRED both grew larger as the disorder inten-
is not, Schenck says, a hunger-driven sified, and both were misdiagnosed
behaviour. “Most SRED patients do multiple times. Today, neither feels
not have daytime eating disorders, understood, nor have they found a
such as bulimia nervosa or anorexia nn'racle cure.
nervosa," he says. Rather, it is a com- Bianca, a writer in her 405 who
pulsion to consume: it's uncontrol- lives in Toronto, began sleep eating
lable and has nothing to do with at the age of 12. “For the first several
hunger. As Schenck explains, the years, it was primarily peanut butter
condition is the result of brain cells on spoons, as evidenced by the lack
and circuits that misfire durm'g sleep, of spoons in the kitchen drawer and
leading to problematic behaviours— the multitude of spoons under my
that is, it’s not a neurological disorder bed," she says.
but a neurophysiological one. She sought help at a sleep clinic 15
SRED is a perfect storm of In'tersect- years ago, but the doctors were unin-
m'g compulsions—to eat, to feel satis- formed and unhelpful. "One focused
fied and comfortable and, of course, to on what ‘caused’ the disorder and
sleep, which patients can only achieve said it was likely linked to the fact that
after they have fed themselves. Sleep I was denying myself certain foods
eaters only overeat when they are during my waking hours, so my body
snoozm'g. And it’s this aspect of SRED was searching those out during sleep,"
that is perhaps the most perplexm'g. she says. “If that was the reason, I was
happy to eat whatever I wanted during
WE LIVE IN a culture that shames the the day. Didn’t change a thing."
overweight by telling them that their Dave has largely given up on pro-
body size is entirely within' their con- fessional treatment options and
trol, that their shape and fitness levels has developed his own plan, which
are physical manifestations of their includes “therapy, locking the fridge
willpower or lack thereof. Despite all at night, leaving a small quantity

rflfl
03 - 2017 93
READER’S DIGEST

of food on the counter, journaling, approximately one per cent and oth-
better eating habits during the day, ers suggesting five.
[seeing] nutritionists and exercising Because sleep eating is so poorly
myself to death," he says. understood, sufferers often just
These self-imposed strategies, resign themselves to the condition
Dave admits, either haven’t worked and attempt to minimize its impact.
or have only worked temporarily. He Many, like Bianca, who's given up
even tried sleeping pills, but they just on seeking out follow-up treatment,
made hnn' groggier and impaired his simply try to live with it. “Nothing has
motor functions, and the behaviour helped," she says. “It just is what it is."
ultimately became worse. Though Schenck acknowledges the
tremendous toll SRED takes on suffer-
ACCORDING TO A 2006 study by ers, he sees promise in the latest find-
Dr. R. Robert Auger of the Sleep ings. Circadian clocks, for example,
Disorders Center at the Mayo Clinic represent a new frontier in trying to
Rochester in Minnesota, even those understand the syndrome. “It could
who study SRED can't agree on be that the circadian clocks in the ali-
whether it's a nocturnal eating dis— mentary system are desynchronized
order, a full-on parasomnia or some from the sleep clock and are inappro-
combination. It's also unclear if priately activated during sleep," he
patients are actually asleep during says, "thus promoting the drive to eat.”
outbreaks, why people with sleep- So there is some small hope, at least.
related eating disorders tend to be And as Dave notes, knowing there’s a
female, whether the disorder has a specific diagnosis, however misunder-
genetic component and which, if any, stood, is helpful. "When you can put a
medications are effective in treating name on a behaviour and learn that
it. Scientists can’t even agree on what you are not alone, it goes a long way to
percentage of the global population releasing yourself from the shackles of
suffers from SRED, with some citing self-loathing and shame."

< 20l6, RM. VAUGHAN. FROM VAN WINKLE'S. VANWINKLES COM.

IT’S ALL RELATIVE

Looking 50 is great—if you’re 60.

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94
——l——l¥03
- 2017 rd.ca
 n
Life’s Like That

“But he’s been missingfor two whole wash cycles!”

PORTION CONTROL THE BLAME GAME

I'm bad at portioning uncooked A client called to report an accident
pasta, so if you and 110 ofyour and asked if her insurance rates
friends want to come over, would go up.
dinner is ready. y aBLACKCATBETTIE "Our underwriting department
determines that,” I replied, then
TRAVEL TIPS asked for her licence plate number.
[NORMAL LIFE] I've worn the same Verifying her information, I said,
shirt every day for a week. “NMF? Is that N as in Nancy, M as
[PACKING FOR VACATION] Hmmm. in Mary and F as in Frank?"
I'll probably change a few times a “Yes,” she said. "But could you
day, so that's...32 shirts. please tell your underwriters that it’s
y :a: JONNYSUN also N as in ‘not,’ M as in ‘my,’ and F
as in 'fault‘?" gcflflet

SELECTIVE HEARING
VRIES

It amazes me how much exercise

D:

Send us your original jokes! They Could

and extra fries sound alike. be worth $50. See page 10 or visit rd.r.a/
y ta INNOCENT_KNAVE joke for more details.
CONAN

mice O3 2017 95
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EDITORS’ CHOICE

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In northern Uganda, the (3qu United Football Club
is more than a place for kids to play soccer. For its
Canadian founder, it’s an investment in the future
of the country and its children.
READER’S DIGEST

very day before train- player hands his paper to a man in

ing, a rope is strung a lab coat, exchanging it for a vial.
between a tree and a Then the kids squeeze into a dusty,
signpost at the north- cramped room where two more lab
east corner of the coat—wearing men and three women
big, lumpy field. It are drawing blood to be tested for
doesn’t cover much HIV and hepatitis B.
ground, but it serves its purpose, Adrian Bradbury has made it a
letting the predominantly young point to know what’s in his players'
observers know that unless they’re blood. Figuratively, he‘s known for
wearing the uniform of the Gulu a while, and it's what's driving him
United Football Club's youth acad— to think big in a place with which
emy, they should kindly steer clear he now has a decade—long, deeply
of the action on all three pitches. The personal history. In 2005, Brad—
unmoored cows at the far end of the bury became a high-profile advo-
grounds need no such deterrent as cate for the children of northern
they peacefully munch on grass a few Uganda, where Joseph Kony and
metres away from the fury. his Lord's Resistance Army stormed
On an afternoon in late April 2015, the countryside, turning kids into
though, the rope barrier is being dead-eyed child soldiers and terror-
breached from the inside, as mem- izing the population. As part of his
bers of United's youth academy leave push to raise awareness of the situ-
their drills in packs of four. Preteen ation, Bradbury helped spearhead
players duck under it, while several of GuluWalk, an initiative with hum—
the older ones scissor—kick their way ble roots that wound up garnering
over. Greeting them on the other side international attention. The region is
ofthe boundary is team doctor Amos well into a period of recovery now,
Wokorach, who pulls pieces of paper but Bradbury hasn't gone anywhere.
from one of three manila envelopes In fact, he's more visible than ever
marked Under—13, Under—15 and in Gulu, the largest city in northern
Under-17, and matches them to the Uganda, with a district population
faces of the youth before him. From of about 450,000. The 46-year-old is
there, the players jog along a high currently elbow-deep in a push to
school laneway of red African soil, rebuild Gulu United, largely through
muddied slightly by the rainy sea— a youth academy of 50 kids cho-
son in northern Uganda. lust inside sen from more than 7,500 hopefuls
HOBBS

a steel gate adorned with the crest around the region. As international
of St. Joseph’s College Layibi, each and academy director of the club,
ALEXI

98 O3 2017 rd.ca
(Clockwisefrom top) Members of
the youth academy listen to coaches,-
academy director Adrian Bradbury,-
blood is drawnfor HIV testing.
Ocen Genests'
Odiya in the H
dorms at Layibi. w

Bradbury believes there's money to Gulu United was holding tryouts in

be made on the feet of these talented 2014, and Genesis didn’t seem to
youngsters. And if one of them can have any obvious intention to change
ride a confluence of skill, schooling Bradbury’s mind. He showed up to
and opportunity to something big— one of United's camps with some
ger, the payoff for the club and com— other young friends who, after being
munity could be enormous. tossed a ball, started playing their
own game on the sidelines. Having
THE PLAYERS BRADBURY IS work- witnessed the pint—sized kid pull
ing with don't spend a lot of time some big—time moves, Bradbury sent
lying on the ground. In Gulu, get— one of his coaches over to invite him
ting knocked down while playing the to participate in the tryout. (While
game you love isn't really viewed as a all the kids understand and speak at
hardship by kids who have developed least some English, Bradbury often
a natural hardness. communicates with them through a
Even tiny, eight—year-old Ocen local coach during tryouts. The vast
Genesis Odiya never stops to lick his majority ofpeople in the region are
wounds. Bradbury had no intention Acholi and speak the tribal language
of taking a player so young when of the same name.) After watching

100 O3 2017 rdca

Genesis hold his own against play— Before the academy began training
ers who dwarfed him, Bradbury gave on a daily basis, Bradbury held meet—
him a spot in the academy. ings with parents to talk about his
All the kids who tried out for Gulu approach and goals for the kids. In
United in 2014 did so in bare feet. Gulu, many family members couldn't
Bradbury had scarcely tied their first care less about the soccer but were
pair of cleats before most of them thrilled to learn United would cover
were trying to kick them off, but the costs required to have each child
they eventually got used to the new board at either Layibi or Bright Valley
equipment. Under-17 defender Eric Primary School. A Westerner walking
Wokorach (no relation to Amos, the into the dormitories can't help but be
team doctor) walked 25 kilometres to taken aback by the barn—like build—
attend his first tryout. Brothers Yona ing and the decrepit blue bunk beds

IN GULU, MANY FAMILIES DON’T CARE ABOUT

THE SOCCER, BUT ARE THRILLED UNITED
PAYS FOR THEIR KIDS TO BOARD AT SCHOOL.

Opio, 16, and Abraham Opio, 14, took they sleep on. Still, these are the two
a 90—minute bus ride to Gulu, landing best schools in the region, and most
with no money for food and no place United parents couldn't dream of
to stay overnight. Bradbury made sending their kids to either without
sure the boys were housed and fed for financial support.
a couple of days, and both wound up But academics weren’t the only
making the club. That wasn't initially topic of conversation at those meet—
the case, however, for 16—year—old ings. One father stood up, declared
Desmond Arop, who was cut from the himself to be HIV-positive and asked
squad but decided to show up again if his son could be tested. This drove
anyway—he wanted to be around the Bradbury to pay for health-care
team to prove he belonged there. The workers to come out to the field and
keeper finally wore Bradbury down, do blood work on every child in a
and he is now a model student and place where around seven per cent
one of Gulu United's most unabash— of the population has the disease.
edly enthusiastic players. (While treatment is readily available,

rdca O3 2017 101

READER’S DIGEST

many people avoid being tested for of his youth may not have had sched—
HIV because they don't want to risk uled start times, but everybody knew
being discriminated against if they're the game was over the second they
found to be positive.) heard gunshots.
Negotiating the contours of a For a huge portion of Okello’s life,
foreign land is only possible for Kony and the LRA brutalized north-
Bradbury thanks to the club's staff ern Uganda. The rebel group thrived
of locals, most notably first team by making soldiers out of children,
director Calvin Okello. A Gulu native, especially in rural areas where
30-s0mething Okello was a student there was no electricity and little in
at Layibi and soccer-obsessed long the way of armed forces to stop its
before his high school years. An em- advances. For many people, the only
ployee of Gulu University's finance defence was to walk into towns like

IN SOCCER, A WELL-SCHOOLED SQUAD

CAN TOPPLE A MORE SKILLED OPPONENT.
BRADBURY IS FOCUSED ON THAT NOTlON.

department, Okello will talk all day Gulu every evening, where they could
about the sport he loves. sleep near a storefront or in a high
The man's smile grows broader as school where government soldiers
he starts reminiscing about his ath— kept watch. The next morning, they
letic past: no coaches, no age restric— would make the trek back to their
tions and no limit to the number of homes and farms, walking for hours
feet chasing a makeshift ball made each day to survive.
from plastic bags tightly bound and The LRA’s initial attacks in the area
wrapped with twine. “You'd go for date back to the late 19805, mean—
almost 30 minutes without even ing multiple generations of Ugan—
kicking it two or three times because dans had the same relationship with
there were so many people," Okello abduction and murder that Canadian
says. “And bigger guys would come, youth would have with going to Dis-
and they would push you away." neyland—if it didn't happen to you,
But not every memory in his bank it sure happened to people you knew.
is a happy one. The soccer sessions “We lost so many good friends and

102 O3 2017 rd.ca

young kids and parents," Okello says evening in July. Once the two-plus-
of the war. “It was horrible." hour journey was complete, Brad-
Half a world away, a relatively new bury and Hayward would sleep on
father had the same reaction. a little patch of grass in front of the
building, then get up early for the trip
ADRIAN BRADBURY GREW UP in a back home. The men were hoping to
blue-collar home in Oshawa, Ont. attract some local media coverage; by
He was the first person from his fam- day s1x', they were on the front page of
ily to attend university. Bradbury the Toronto Star, and the story took
played basketball for the University off from there.
of Ottawa and stayed in the game The issue became central to Brad-
after school, doing some coaching bury’s life, as GuluWalks—one-off
in Japan, but that quickly started to events aimed at raising awareness of
feel more like a job than a passion. the problems facing northern Ugan-
By 2000, Bradbury was married to da’s chll'dren—were organized all over
kindergarten teacher Kim Atwill- the world. Bradbury’s first of numer—
Bradbury, and their life in an east- ous visits to the region came in 2006.
end Toronto neighbourhood gained Word of this Canadian guy who’d
another dimension with the arrival of taken up their cause quickly spread
Isaac and Owen, now 16 and 13. through Gulu, and to this day, it grants
Increasingly, the young father's Bradbury significant credibll'ity.
thoughts were ensnared by what he'd While Bradbury’s metamorphosis
read in the news: the approximately into a soccer aficionado was fuelled
40,000 "night commuters” in north- partly by his boys’ love of the sport,
ern Uganda. One evening in 2005, he there was another, more philosoph-
devoured Douglas Coupland’s book ical aspect to it. With a basketball
Terry, a tribute to the life of Terry Fox background, Bradbury was reared on
and his Marathon of Hope. By the a game in which a team with a cou-
next morning, Bradbury, who was ple of elite players stands a fantastic
already determined to do some- shot at victory. That's not necessar-
thing to help kids in the region, ily the case in soccer, where a well—
had mapped out a route of his own. schooled squad can use superior
Along with his good friend Kieran tactics to topple a more skll'led oppo-
Hayward, Bradbury decided to call nent. Bradbury couldn't let go of that
attention to the commute in Uganda underdog notion.
by walking west from Toronto’s Vic- By 2008, the LRA's power had been
toria Park Station towards Yonge greatly reduced, and Kony was forced
Street, then south to City Hall each into hiding (he remains in South

rfifi—dca
O3 - 2017 103
READER’S DIGEST

Sudan and the Central African of 2014, he lamented the dilemma

Republic). As northern Uganda began to Kim. Without hesitation, his wife
to heal, Bradbury shifted his focus to blurted out, "lust tell them you'll be
raising funds for the region's soccer there." After Christmas, the couple,
team, Gulu United, in the hopes that along with their sons (both academy
the senior club could climb back into players who are home-schooled by
Uganda’s premier league and help Kim), hopped on a plane to start the
revive the area. It did, in fact, get to new year in a new place.
the top division, but money was still
incredibly hard to come by, and the BRADBURY'S HEART MAY HAVE been
success couldn't be sustained. By what originally led him to Gulu, but
2013, however, Bradbury was ready today his head pushes things for-
to take another run. This time, he ward. He's become obsessed with

DISCIPLINE IS NON-NEGOTIABLE, BUT

BRADBURY BELIEVES IN CREATING A PLACE
WHERE KIDS FEEL SECURE AND HAPPY.

wanted to do it right, building from counting the beans, and something

the ground up with a youth acad— doesn't add up. Rather than distrib—
emy. Initially, he thought the project ute athletes through a draft system,
might be something he could run soccer clubs purchase players from
from Toronto. At the time, Bradbury all over the world through transfer
was working with corporations and agreements. At the highest level,
charities on ways to develop advocacy wealthy clubs like Manchester United
and fundraising campaigns. With that and Barcelona pay astronomical fees
experience behind him, he registered to other teams—tens of millions of
a business called Football for Good euros—to acquire top talent. But
to be the vehicle that would generate underneath those mega-outfits is a
money for Gulu United. But Bradbury planet full of mid—size and small ones
kept running into the same problem: in the business of developing and
people were hesitant to pony up for selling quality players for more mod—
a guy who wasn't going to be on the est sums. The problem in Africa is
scene. One morning in the spring that many regions lack the resources

104 03 2017 rd.ca

l
necessary to run leagues and youth what we’re doing, or are not going to
academies. No club means there is buy it: ‘Why should we have this pro-
no transfer fee coming back to the fessional relationship in backwards
area when one of its talented players northern Uganda?’ We're going to
leaves for a bigger opportunity. It's have to earn that." Bradbury knows
tantamount to a country getting no it might take five, even seven years
return on a precious natural resource to make that first transfer happen.
plucked from its land. That said, he’s hopeful the club can
Soccer's governing body, FIFA, has at least get some tryouts in Europe in
rules in place to regulate transfers the near future.
and protect smaller clubs like Gulu One huge factor in Bradbury's
United. Still, larger organizations favour is that money goes 10 times
often find ways to poach talent with- further in Gulu than it likely would
out any regard for the regulations, anywhere else outside of Africa.
especially when dealing with poorer Because of that, there's less pres—
places. "There’s a lot ofugliness that sure to score a hefty payday. Yes, he
goes on," Bradbury says. "It's going acknowledges a few million euros
to be hard, and there are going to be would change the club forever, but
people who try to take advantage of he’s certainly not banking on that.

rd.ca 03 2017 l 105

READER’S DIGEST

He's told Football for Good's invest- Omara Oscar, nicknamed Mon-
ors two things: best-case scenario, day, spent eight years in Uganda’s
he can get them their money back premier league—mostly in the
with a small percentage on top; sec- capital, Kampala—before return-
ondly, should United—which costs ing to Gulu to begin a new phase of
about $100,000 to run annually— life. The 29-year-old husband and
happen to hit pay dirt, the major- father of two was raising and sell—
ity of the funds will be poured back ing chickens when the opportunity
into the club. Profits are earmarked to join Gulu United presented itself.
for things such as bringing in high- Monday is missing a front tooth
level coaches, getting the kids into thanks to a stray elbow during his
some international tournaments competitive days. But while the
and possibly opening other acad— physical toll soccer takes on players
emies in sub—Saharan Africa. Brad- never changes, he believes the men-
bury also has designs on investing tal one can. "All coaches tend to be
in young community leaders in a harsh," Monday says of the default
variety of disciplines, such as agri- Ugandan mindset. “That’s why our
cultural entrepreneurs. football is not growing much. But
now, with what Adrian brought, 1
MANY MORNINGS, BRADBURY has can see lots of changes, and the kids
just enough time to pluck a mango are picking it up very fast. Even us
from the tree in his backyard before coaches, we change."
setting out to tackle his to-do list. Victor Satei, the club’s technical
Daily training sessions with the play- director until' 2016, was another force
ers don’t start until mid-afternoon, behind that transition. Based in the
but Bradbury is constantly on the Toronto area, he runs a consulting
go, chasing possible fundraising company for coaches and, until his
avenues, checking in with the schools departure from the organization,
where his players board and trying to would make a couple of trips per
get his teams in a few friendlies with year to Gulu. While discipline is a
any group that can tape together a non-negotiable part of what United
squad. When they do get matches, is doing, both Satei and Bradbury
the academies' three teams often believe in creating an environment
play older kids and more than hold where kids feel secure and happy.
their own. On Monday mornings, The club tries to arrange for the kids
Bradbury meets with his eight full— to watch European games together
time coaches to meticulously plan on TV and offers a treat—like fresh
out drills for the week. sugar cane—on Fridays. ‘Af‘ter all that

03-2017
1—l—l—06 rdrca
has gone on, United needs to be their In the under-13 game, Genesis is, as
escape," Satei says. per usual, a little overmatched. But
While Bradbury has worked to early in the second half, he shows a
alter some things in his new home, glimpse of his raw ability and dem-
he’s also trying desperately to pre- onstrates what the right player can
serve much of what's there, the most do with even a sliver of opportun-
precious element being the in-the- ity. As he nears the Gateway goal, a
bone love of soccer evident all over defender steps up to block his path.
the country. From Liverpool logos on Genesis is certainly close enough
dump trucks to kids passing around to justify taking a shot, even if the
well-worn pictures of pros ripped likely result is a ball deflected out of
from magazines, there’s no question bounds. As the keeper and defender
the sport is king. steady themselves for a shot, Gen-
esis instead slides a stealthy pass to
A COUPLE 0F DAYS after their HIV his left, starting a play that quickly
tests in 2015—there wasn’t a single culminates with the ball rolling into
positive result—Gulu’s under-15 and an empty net.
under-13 squads get a rare chance to Watching from the sideline beside
demonstrate what they’ve learned in Bradbury, Satei shakes his head and
actual game action. The opponent is laughs out loud. 'An‘y other kid would
a makeshift squad from Restoration have hammered the ball," he says
Gateway, an organization that pro- with disbelief.
vides education and health care to But this one didn’t. And one might
some of the region’s many orphans. be all it takes.

WRITTEN BASED ON THE ORIGINAL PUBLISHED IN SPOPTSNETTM MAGAZINE.

USED WITH PERMISSION OF ROGERS MEDIA INC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

‘«<.'
v.2

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES

My son on the morning of his prom: “Well, it just occurred to me

that I paid $130 to go to my school at night.”

’ @CAISSIE (CAISSIE ST. ONGE)

"Sometimes I feel like you don’t really listen to me when I talk,”

said my son or daughter.

'CEDANNYZUCKER

rfl—I‘dsa
O3 ' 2017 107
APPETITE
CONTROL
REGULMIQNDE
L'ADPETH'
,pwsb appthke

mduhc I'appéx‘z'f

m-Wfi‘
 GET SMART!

13 Things a
Contractor
Won’t Tell You
BY MICHELLE CROUCH
ADDlTlOl-JAl RESEARCH BY A\DQEA BENNETT

ILLUSTRATION BY SERGE BLOCH

1 If your handyperson says they several options, ask for at least three
can “do it all," watch out; elec- references and speak to previous
trical, plumbing and structural clients before you sign any contracts.
fixes require a licensed profes—
sional. A sure sign that you can 3 Can't rely on word of mouth?
trust a contractor is if they tell you Steve Payne, the editor of
they're not the best person to do Canadian Contractor, recommends
a particular job and recommend checking out the online review ser—
someone else instead. vices HomeStars and TrustedPros.

2 Good contractors get work 4 Ask a contractor to inspect

through word ofmouth, so they your house at least once a year.
don’t really need to advertise. When Do you need to caulk around your
you're looking to hire someone, says windows and doors? Are any shin—
Steve Maxwell, a widely published gles loose? It's a lot less expensive
home improvement coach, ask to hire someone to address those
friends and family for recommenda— things than it is to replace them
tions. Ifthe job is large, consider after years of neglect. H

rclca 03 2017 1097

l
READER'S DIGEST

5 Contractors may charge differ- out in exchange for a lower price.

ent prices for the same job. Payne says that the contractor could
Some ask for more when they’re be held liable if you get injured.
busy. They may also raise their fees
for houses that are filthy, so keep 10 Always include some wiggle
yours clean. room in your budget. “If
you've got a contract for $127,000
Many jobs will require about and you can really only afford
a 10 per cent deposit—this $127,000, you’re nuts,” says Payne.
books a contractor's time and is No matter how good a contractor
a sign of the homeowner’s good is, they don’t have X—ray vision—
faith. But, says Payne, they might they might find mould, structural
require more. If you're having a issues, plumbing or electrical prob-
new kitchen built, for example, lems that need to be addressed.
your contractor will want to cover
the cost of custom cabinets and 1 While it may be tempting to
counters, neither of which will hire a cash contractor—whom
be reusable if the project doesn't you pay under the table, without a
go forward. contract, avoiding taxes and getting
a cheaper rate—Payne warns
7 Before you throw something against it. "If the job goes south,
out, ask whether your contrac- there's no paper trail," he says.
tor can repair it. They might be able “You’re totally unprotected."
to fix‘ window frames, furniture and
crown moulding—even tree houses 12 Establish payment stages
and sheds. in your contract. Possible
milestones can include framing,
While many workers will be plumbing and wiring, drywall and
happy to adjust your sticky finishes, and you can give your
door or tighten that leaky faucet, contractor a certain percentage
don’t act surprised when they when they reach those milestones.
charge you. Contractors make a "It’s an incentive to keep things
big part of their living from those rolling," says Maxwell.
"while you're here" jobs.
1 Make firm decisions, Payne
9 You could pay for the material advises. Changing details like
yourself to cut costs, but don’t finishes or tiles can prolong jobs and
ask if there's any way you can help result in money down the drain.

'lfil—m
O3 - 2017 rd.ca
always
discreer

The RapidDry’” core absorbs

bladder leaks and odours in
seconds. Hugs my curves for
a discreet fit under clothes.

Available at

"llllb l’c\"(;
W.~‘a’l’m“‘art‘ >‘,'~..’
 That’s Outrageous!
PIZZA! PIZZA!
BY LINDA BESNEP

ON DEMAN D WWI/711’. 7
and restaurants. The

‘
g 7:1/ 5
Every late—night study x; 17w {WI/r, 2
(/H'IWIIJ/I m
l
V
Pizza Party has about
session needs some "’1/IM'II,“'M
476 registered voters—
food for thought. In Sep— some 42,600 short ofthe
tember 2016, students at number needed to go
Xavier University in from political designa-
Cincinnati were greeted tion to official party.
by an innovation in midnight snack- While a passion for melted cheese
ing—a pizza vending machine that may not provide much of a political
delivers piping hot treats 24/7. platform, the party may have hit on
Called the Pizza ATM, it's a convec— something close to a universal
tion oven stocked with up to 75 piz- value: a love of pizza.
zas that are baked on demand for
hungry scholars. The French manu- J U ST R EWA R’ DS
facturer of the machine has been One day last September, Selena
satisfying greasy cravings in Europe Avalos needed a lunchtime snack.
for more than a decade, but Xavier's During a break from her job at a
pizza machine means students in mobile—phone store in San Iose,
the United States are finally getting Calif, she ordered chicken wings
a slice of the pie. from Domino's Pizza. When the
21-year—old received her food, how—
FOR THE PEOPLE ever, she found a side dish she
On a Massachusetts list of citizens' wasn't expecting: three stacks of
groups that includes the Latino—Vote cash totalling $5,000. A manager
Party and the Rainbow Coalition, herself, Avalos identified the cash as
the state also recognizes the Pizza an errant bank deposit and called
Party. Josh Freeman, 43, founded the franchise. Her good deed was
the political designation in 2011 rewarded with free pizza or other
LORANGER

after gathering 120 signatures—70 Domino's products for a year. Who

more than the required 50—at bars knew karma could be so delicious?
PIERRE

112 O3 2017 rd.Ca

 CANADA 150

OVER LOCATIONS
95 ACROSSCANADA
MEMBER OF 7 W
1.800.578.7878
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 Brainqty—easers
Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind stretchers,
then check your answers on page 119.

SEV EN U P (Moderately dfli’i'eult) ON TARGET (Moderately dfz'fz‘rult)

Ifyou wanted to roll a total of In an archery Challenge, there are three
seven or higher, which dice targets labelled A, B and C, and each
would you rather use? is worth a different number of points.

I Hitting targets A and B scores

20 points.
I Hitting targets A and C scores
23 points.
I Hitting targets B and C scores
15 points.

Kathy shoots two arrows and they both

hit target A. What’s her score?

SIMPSON
~06
Q
FRASER
TARGET)
(ON
RlGBY:
DARREN

/' " ,,
UP)

v ,y /
\ /-\,
_

\\,

C. THREE FOUR-SIDED DICE (1-4)

(SEVEN

1—l714
03 2017 rd.ca
 FILL IN THE BLANKS (Easy) LETTER LOGIC
The same three numbers are missing from the (Dfi‘iicult)
boxes 1n' each operation. What are they? Complete this grid so
that 12 of the 16 cells
contain a letter, while
2 E] 26
four are left blank.
Use two copies of
2,250 each ofA, B, C, D, E
and F. Four letters are
already entered. Fill
in the other eight to
FILL MY CUP (Moderately dfiiicult)
satisfy these rules:
Three cups and four coins are on a table. You
I No more than three
must place the coins in the cups according to letters may appear in
the following two stipulations:
any row or column.
I No cup can be left empty. I Identical letters
SIMPSON

I Two of the cups must contain two coins each. may not occupy the
same row, column
FRASER

How would you do this?

or diagonal (not even
a short diagonal).
LOGIC)

l One of the Es is
adjacent only to a C.
(LETTER

(‘A‘djacent" means
next to it in any direc—
tion, even diagonally.)
DANESI;

I No B is adjacent
to a C.
MARCEL
CUP)
MY
FILL

QC)
BLANKS,
IN THE

QC)
(FILL

r‘l—lidca
03 - 2017 115
 Trivia Quiz
BY PAUL PAQUET

1. Upon accepting her Nobel Peace 8. James Bond, Hercule Poirot and
Prize, what teen said, “I am also the Phileas Fogg were among the fictional
first recipient who still fights with passengers ofwhat real—life train?
her younger brothers"?
9. A 1984 single wondered, "Do They
2. What 1998 Disney animated Know It's Christmas?" Well, they did,
movie was a box office disappoint— since the charity superngroup Band
ment in China, surprisingly? Aid was singing for famine relief in
what largely Christian country?
3. What name has been adopted
by the most popes? 10. What American government
agency joined Twitter in 2014 with,
4. Which Spanish city is the setting
“We can neither confirm nor deny
for Mozart's opera The Marriage of
that this 1's our first tweet"?
Figaro and Bizet's opera Carmen?
it. What Mexican state shares a name
5. What chart-topping singer's biog-
with an internationally sold hot sauce?
raphy says she didn’t find anyone, let
alone “Someone Like You,” when 12. What British actor took a plunge
she joined a dating site? in a lake in both Love Actually
and Pride and Prejudice?
6. Although he hunted old
Nazis in The Boys From 13. What is the most
Brazil, who played an old famous building painted
Nazi in Marathon Man? with a colour called
v Whisper White?
7. What form of radia—
[5. Afier this player left
tion, emitted from ces- basketball temporarily in 14. What Polish city
ium and cobalt, is used 1993, the Chicago Bulls began as a Stone Age
for preserving food? retired #23. Who was he? village on Wawel hill?

‘UPpJOr Iaeualw 'Sl 'M0,>194>1 'm‘

'30 ‘U015U!LIS€N\ U|.35n0H91N/\/\ em '21 MUH uuoo'ZL'ooseqer'1L'(Vlo)mua6v
aouaBglleiul @11an aqi‘OL'Qidoiqlfl '5'ssaidX3—1uauo all ‘8 'uo‘uegpw BLULUBQ "A
Hal/mo eoueme‘l ‘9 'elapv 's '9||!/\38 ‘v WW ‘2 'UP/nw 'z 'IBZJBSHOA QIPIQN 'L -'saaMSNv
ISTOCKPHOTO

116 03 2017 rd.ca

 Word w—Power
The odd spellings, unusual syllable emphases orjumbled consonants of
the words in this list make them dzfi‘i'cult to pronounce. No matter zf'you
can’t say them out loud, so long as you can guess what they mean.

BY LINDA BESNER

1. anemone—A: ode 6. kinnikinnick— 11. moiety—A: slight

in iambic pentameter. A: northern Chickadee dampness. B: portion.
B: plant of the butter— species. B: peaty bog. C: fervent feeling of
cup family. C: fresh— C: smokable mixture religious devotion.
water snail. of leaves and bark.
12. prospicience—
2. interstitial—A: of A: foresight. B: good
7. inimical—
an in-between space. fortune. C: disbelief.
A: extremely icy.
B: woven with more
B: detrimental.
than one colour. 13. Worcestershire—
C: without spontaneity.
C: blending two liquids. A: blue and white
china pattern. B: iconic
3. isthmus—A: stutter— 8. inimitable—
maker of crystal wine
ing speech disorder. A: impossible to
glasses. C: English
B: horizon bisected by imitate. B: repetitive.
county famous for a
the setting sun. C: nar— C: all—powerful.
dark brown condiment.
row strip connecting
two land masses. 9. banal—A: cross 14. chimera—
between a banana and A: common rock that
4. peremptory—
a salal berry. B: in poor resembles silver.
A: imperiously com-
taste. C: commonplace B: illusory hope.
manding. B: along
and boring. C: small waterfall.
an area's perimeter.
C: adjacent to valuable
10. autochthonous— 15. antiphonal—
real estate.
A: indigenous. A: alternately sung or
5. mnemonic— B: speaking many lan— played by two groups.
A: growing. B: having guages. C: having a B: afraid oftalking on
a citrus flavour. second toe longer than the telephone. C: at the
C: memory aid. one's big toe. time of high tide.

rd.ca O3 2017 l 117

READER’S DIGEST

Answers
1. anemone—[B] plant of the but- 8. inimitable—[A] impossible to
tercup family; as, The forest trail' was imitate; as, The baby charmed the
dotted with raspberry bushes and whole room with his inimitable
white anemones. toothless smile.

2. interstitial—[A] of an in-between 9. banal—[C] commonplace and

space; as, Some news organizations boring; as, Navneet settled in for
display interstitial ads on their another banal day at work.
mobile platforms when users 10. autochthonous—[A] indigen—
move from one page to the next. ous; as, Canada's autochthonous
tree species include birch, sugar
3. isthmus—[C] narrow strip
maples and Douglas firs.
connecting two land masses; as,
Chile's Mun‘oz Gamero Peninsula 11. moiety—[B] portion; as, Fatima
1's connected to the mainland by gave a moiety of her sandwich to the
an isthmus. ducks at the park.

4. peremptory—[A] imperiously 12. prospicience—[A] foresight;

commanding; as, Richard snapped as, Sofia displayed prospicience in
his fingers for the bill in a peremp- bringing her umbrella to work.
tory manner. 13. Worcestershire—[C] English
5. mnemonic—[C] memory aid; county famous for a dark brown
condiment; as, A Bloody Caesar
as, The music teacher taught his
cocktail usually includes a dash
class the mnemonic "Every Good
of Worcestershire sauce.
Boy Deserves Fudge" to help them
recall the notes on the lines of the 14. chimera—[B] illusory hope;
treble clef. as, The actor's expectation of an
Oscar turned out to be a chimera.
6. kinnikinnick—[C] smokable
mixture of leaves and bark; as, 15. antiphonal—[A] alternately sung
Nakuset prepared the kinnikinnick or played by two groups; as, The
in the way her Cree grandmother Torah describes antiphonal singing
had taught her. as part of ancient Iewish liturgy.

7. inimicaI—[B] detrimental; as,

VOCABULARY RATINGS
The current economy is inimical
7-10: fair
to many millennials' dreams of "-12: good
home ownership. 13-15: excellent

fil—W
03 2017 rd.ca
‘
 Sudoku
Brainteasers:
. l ll.\‘ll‘(‘l'.\"
ii’im ii “iii

BY IAN RIENSCHE
SEVEN UP
C. A gives you a 50 per cent
chance (6/12). B gives you
a 58.3 per cent chance
(21/36). C gives you a 68.8
per cent chance (44/64).

ON TARGET
28 points. The sum of the
points in the three examples
(58) is the score for hitting
each target twice. Half of
this (29) is therefore the
score for hitting each target
once. Since B and C together
give 15 points, A is worth
14 points,

FILL IN THE BLANKS

5 5 5
555

FILL MY CUP
By placing one cup inside
another, the same coins can
be in more than one cup:

You have to put a number from

1 to 9 in each square so that:

I every horizontal row

COM

LETTER LOGIC and vertical column

contains all nine numerals

(1—9) without repeating
any of them;
SUDOKUPUZ LER

I each of the 3 x 3 boxes

has all nine numerals,
none repeated
(SUDOKU)

rd.ca 03 2017 119

 Quotes
BY CHRISTINA PALASSIO

MY PARENTS ARE OUITE

RESERVED IN ENGLISH BUT
I DON'T
FUNNY AND BOISTEROUS IN (100K OFTEN.
THEIR MOTHER TONGUES.
SOME OF MY BEST MEMORIES Blf'l‘ \Vl lENl
ARE OF MY MOM SITTING WITH
DO. I AIM'AYS
HER SISTERS AND LAUGHING
AND TALKING ALL NIGHT. IIAVE CEREAL.
MADELEINE THIEN LAURA VANDERVOORT

Our parents were terrified ofcancer when we were

younger. M1: generation is afraid ofAlzheimer's.
LISA RAITT

THERE IS A CRACK IN
EVERYTHING. THAT’S HOW
THE LIGHT GETS IN.
LEONARD COHEN

When we were kids, asking Comedy is a pretty

someone if they had an cold field. It's very
innie or an outie was mathematical. In
making conversation. Back some ways, emo-
then it was like asking, tions can get in the
"So, what do you do?" way of comedy.
JONATHAN GOLDSTEIN SCOTT THOMPSON

PHOTOS (THIEN) CREATIVE COMMONS/SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY: (COHEN) LORCACOHEN/

SONYMUSIC' (THOMPSON) CREATIVE COMMONS/GAGE SKIDMORE. QUOTES, (THIEN) THE GUARD/AN
(OCT 8, 2016) (VANDERVOORT) TWITTER (JULY 3. 2016) (RAITT) VOUTUBE (SEPT 22. 2016)‘
(COHEN) THE FUTURE (NOV. 24 1992). (GOLDSTEIN) TWITTER (SEPT 13. 2016)‘ (THOMPSON)
CONSEQUENCEOESOUNDJVET (APRIL 12, 2016)
HEATED SEATS
FOR THE PERFECT CLIMATE.
Standard heated SofTexV—trimmed front seats mean
the 2017 Toyota RAV4 is built for comfort in any
temperature. So, play In the cold weather because
your RAV4 Wlll always be there to warm you up.

RAH/4
toyota.ca
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