Topic: Understanding Verbal and Nonverbal Cues/ Contextual Communication

Session 4: Read between the lines

Objective: At the end of the session the participants should be able to:

 Exhibit appropriate verbal and non-verbal behavior in a given speech

contexts
 Identify social situations in which each speech style is appropriate to use
 Engage in a communicative situation using acceptable, polite and meaningful
communicative strategies

Instructional Materials:

Task cards, viewing component, video file

Gender Focus: Men and women should understand the difference of each other’s
communication style

Priming 10 minutes

Charades

Note: Divide the class into two groups. Ask each group to select a member to be
the first player. Allot 2 minutes for the first group to finish the task.

Hand a list of phrases (different list for each group) that the player needs to act out
to be understood by the group. If the group cannot answer, they can pass. After
answering, switch players. The group that has identified most number of phrases in
two minutes will be declared winner of the game.

1. How were you able to understand the phrase even without verbal
description?
2. How does the acting affect your understanding of the phrase?
3. Do you think actions are important when you want your message to be
understood? Why?

Strategy
Introduction

Conversation is one way how we communicate. It is the dynamics of listening and

speaking. However, instead of understanding, conversations lead to conflict.
Conversations go wrong because of many factors but caused by misunderstood
context and behavior.
 A. Activity 5 minutes
For the video viewing, go to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_WAmt3cMdk
HSBC “Eels” Advertisements

Watch the video and observe how the behavior and unawareness of the
situation can cause misunderstanding.

B. Analysis 15 minutes

1. Share your understanding about what is happening in the scene. Varied

answers are expected.
2. What do you think is the problem in the scene?
3. Why do you think this conflict arises?
4. How could the problem be solved?

C. Abstraction 30 minutes

Conversation is a way to build relationship. Through conversations, we solve

conflicts, deliberate decisions, or simply get know the person. It is the most
frequently used communication medium. Conversation can occur both in personal
and professional setting. If we know how to understand context and manage
behavior during a conversation, we can be successful in conveying our message.

Understanding Context

Culture and gender can greatly influence the context of communication and they
can be classified as high- context or low- context.

High- context communicators speak indirectly and formally. They assume that
the other person has understood what they are trying to say even without the
actual words. Low- context communicators on the other hand speak directly and
informally because they think this way, they can be understood better. They speak
out what is on their mind and will not let the other person guess what their
meaning is. However, if these two communicators get engaged, misunderstanding
will most likely to arise. For example, John noticed that Peter’s work station is
messy.

John: Your work station seems to be messy.

Peter: Yeah, I got lots of files today and I don’t have enough space to load them in.
If John is a high- context communicator, he wants to tell Peter ‘to clean up
your work station’ and Peter’s response will not be what John is expecting. John’s
statement is an indirect way to command Peter.

On the other hand, Peter is a low- context communicator because he takes

John’s words literally. He did not infer that John is pointing out his mess.

Between the speakers, who could have done better in communicating?

Both.

If John tells Peter directly that he needs to clean up his work station, Peter would
have understood immediately.

But if Peter is aware and conscious about the setup they are in– the office, he
should know that a work station should be kept clean always to show
professionalism.

Below are the key factors in understanding the context of conversation according to
Allan Barker, The Sunday Times: Improve Your Communication Skills.

• Objectives. Do you both know why you are holding the conversation?

• Time. Is this the right time to be holding this conversation? What is the history
behind the conversation? Is it part of a larger process?

• Place. Are you conversing in a place that is comfortable, quiet and free from
distractions?

• Assumptions. Do you both understand the assumptions that you are starting
from? Do you need to explore them before going further?

Understanding verbal and non-verbal cues

Verbal Cues

Going back to the previous example, John used a verbal cue. Verbal cues are the
words or statements we say to communicate a message. In John’s case, it is an
indirect verbal cue because he means something else other than what he said. To
put his intent message in a direct verbal cue, it should go like this: You need to
clean your work station because it is messy.

Verbal cues are what we use to speak out our message and it can be done directly
or indirectly. For example, the boss is speaking in the meeting.
Boss: Are you listening?

This question is not meant to be answered but his way to get the audience
attention because perhaps he sees some who are not listening. It is an indirect
verbal cue.

Boss: Now, listen.

This is a command, thus a direct verbal cue. The boss wants the audience to listen
to what he is about to say.

Other verbal cues may include loudening the voice, repeating a phrase mentioned,
speaking more slowly, and so on.

Non-verbal cues

Conversations are not all about exchange of words. The words we say are
supported by our actions and behavior, which we call non-verbal cues. Non-verbal
cues can speak in our behalf in case of the absence of words. Non- verbal cues can
also be a clarification to an ambiguous verbal cue, for example:

Harold notices Jane seems to be not in the mood when he gives her the second
round of documents need to be checked.

Harold: Are you okay?

Jane: (not looking at him) I’m fine

Harold: Seriously?

Jane: (drops the folder and looks at him) Really!

Jane’s verbal cue says she is fine but her non- verbal cue says the otherwise.
Understanding non- verbal cues will help us get the message clearer.

Appropriating verbal and non- verbal cues in different contexts

Verbal and non- verbal cues are not acceptable in all situations. The communicator
should take into consideration the culture, familiarity, and gender of the other
party.

Some verbal and non- verbal cues can be unacceptable in various cultures. For
example the thumbs up sign can be offensive to nations of Greece, Middle East,
Latin America, Russia, and Southern Italy because it indicates cussing, or the
western counterpart of middle finger. An eye contact can also vary from culture to
culture. Japanese are uncomfortable with eye contact while Western culture sees it
as sincerity. To avoid being misinterpreted, try to learn few things about the culture
of the country you are visiting or if you know you will be working with foreigners.

The level of relationship with the person you are talking with can also affect your
verbal and non-verbal cues. If you are in the workplace, you can be more aware of
your verbal and nonverbal cues. You tend to observe formality, avoid loud laughing
and hilarious jokes —which is your opposite behavior when with friends.

Gender can also play a role with your verbal and non- verbal cues. Prolonged eye
contact of men to women can indicate sexual interest, while if done with the fellow
gender can spark challenge between them. Women are often perceived to be high-
context communicators, as men being low- context communicators. It is important
to be open and aware to avoid misunderstanding.

D. Assessment 30 minutes

List down the verbal and non- verbal cues that are acceptable and offensive
for you. You can also indicate if these are conditional and if they are, identify
those situations when those are acceptable or not. Give also the reason why
you list those. Use the table and example below as your guide. After, share
your answers with the class.

It is acceptable if Because… I hate it when Because…

someone… someone…
Makes a joke It is our way to Calls my I find it
about my clothes make the group attention by disrespectful and
if they are my laugh shouting ‘Hoy or makes me feel
friends oy’ humiliated

Clincher

As the old saying says, “Actions speak louder than words,” it is important for us to
be truthful with our words. We should not be afraid to express our feelings and
must let the other person know it so we can fix the conflict immediately.