Legal Writing

PLAIN ENGLISH FOR LAWYERS EXERCISES

Submitted to: JUDGE JOHNMUEL ROMANO RITZARD D. MENDOZA

Submitted by: JOHN LEWIS R. FERRER
READER’S EXERCISE KEY
EXERCISE 1
1. Here is the original sentence with the working words underlined:
The testimony that was given by Reeves went to the heart of the defense that he asserted,
which was his lack of the specific intent to escape.
The original sentence could be revised to read:
Reeves testimony went to the heart of his defense, that he had no specific intent to escape.
With the working words underlined, the revised sentence looks like this:
Reeve’s testimony went to the heart of his defense, that he had no specific intent to escape.
2. Here is the original sentence with the working words underlined:
In the event that there is a waiver of the attorney-client privilege by the client, he letters must
be produced by the attorney for the purpose of inspection by the adversary party.
The original sentence could be revised to read:
If the client waives the attorney-client privilege, the attorney must produce the letters for
inspection by the adversary party.
With the working words underlined, the revised sentence looks like this:
If the client waives the attorney-client privilege, the attorney must produce the letters for
inspection by the adversary party.

EXERCISE 2
1. The parties were in complete agreement about the amount of rent due and about the due
date.
2. For simplicity, an ordinary deed of trust would be the best.
3. Because of the Burke decision, the savings clause was added to avoid any ambiguity.
4. In fairness, we should not apply the new rule retroactively.
5. When the funds are received, we will transfer title, hoping to clear up all questions about
this matter.
6. I cannot now recall what the letter was about.
EXERCISE 3
1. When the judgment is entered…
2. Here estoppel can be invoked…
3. He was sentence to the county jail for five months…
4. By the terms of our contract…
5. No doubt the statute applies where …
6. The claim was clarified by a bill of particulars.
7. The trial judge must consider whether…
8. This offer will stand until you…
9. Usually the claimant’s good faith is not disputed…
10. The plaintiff filed the complaint even though she knew that…
11. Arbitration is sometimes useful where the parties…
12. Because he was injured…
EXERCISE 4
1. Appellant’s opening brief contains three misstatements of fact.

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 2. The witness need not sign the deposition transcript until the errors are corrected.
3. In approving a class action settlement, the court must guard the interests of absent class
members.
4. We cannot tell whether trial counsel’s misconduct influenced the jury verdict.
5. We served our first set of interrogatories nine weeks ago.
EXERCISE 5
We turn now to plaintiff’s request for an injunction. The defendant argues that an injunction
is unnecessary, because the exclusionary clause is already void under this court’s prior order. Since
the exclusionary clause can have no further effect, the defendant argues that we can give the
plaintiff complete relief without an injunction. Defendant’s argument has obvious merit. Thus we
have decided not to issue an injunction.
EXERCISE 6
1. Section 1038 pertains to any contract that provides for attorney fees.
2. Discovery can commence before the judge considers the motion.
3. We agree with your position, but if you intend to cause delay, we will oppose you.
4. To improve downstream water quality, we must stop polluting the headwaters.
5. If this breach continues, my client will terminate the contract immediately.
6. We could amend the interrogatory answer, but if we do so now, the court may suspect our
client’s good faith.
7. This court cannot fulfill the testator’s wishes unless it invalidates the inter vivos transfer.
8. We seek to coopearate with you and we hope that you will change your position. If you
refuse to do so, and if you do not complete the work on schedule, we will impound your
funds.
EXERCISE 7
1. The verb “was questioned” is passive.
2. The verb “has petitioned” is active. The verb “will … be denied” is passive.
3. The verb “had been granted” is passive. The verb “would… face” is active.
4. The verb “has existed” is active.
5. The verb “pioneered” is active. The verb “has been rejected” is passive.
6. The verb “suggests” is active. The verb “should … have been admitted” is passive.
EXERCISE 8
1. An attorney who receives clients’funds must put them in the Client Trust Account.
2. Either party may terminate this agreement by giving thirty days notice to the other party.
3. Each month the defendant manufacturers exchanged price lists, and they agreed to make
all sales at list price or above.
4. If my husband does not survive me by thirty days, I give my children such items of my
personal property as my executor may select for them.
5. The supplier insisted that the goods were of merchantable quality.
6. In some cases you must fill out Form 242A before we can clear you through customs. We
will not clear you through customs until the Immigration Officer approves your Form
242A. If the Immigration Officer decides that you do not need to fill our Form 242A, then
we will clear you through customs promptly.
EXERCISE 9
1. Class actions serve an important function in our judicial system. They permit claims of
many individuals to be resolved at the same time. This avoids repetitious litigation and
gives claimants a way to enforce claims that are too small for individual litigation.

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 2. Customers are sometimes abused and exploited by false, misleading, or irrelevant
advertising. But that does not necessarily require the government to intrude into the
marketplace. Consumers themselves can go to court, as can competing sellers who lose
business because of such advertising.
3. The majority opinion ignores an important fact: the states are sovereigns, both in common
law and in federal constitutional law. Therefore, claims made by states are not generally
subject to legal doctrines such as laches, acquiescence, estoppel, or statutes of limitations
of the type in issue here.
EXERCISE 10
1. A response must be filed with the hearing officer within twenty days after the petition is
served.
2. The attorney-client privilege applies to the client’s revelation of a past crime. But it does
not apply when the client seeks the attorney’s aid to plan to carry out a future crime.
3. The sole eyewitness saw the accident from a seventh floor window, half a block north of
the intersection. She testified that she did not see which car entered the intersection first.
4. Plaintiff’s grandfather, Jose Cruz, later transferred the disputed 200 acres by a deed of gift
that was bitterly contested by the heirs but that was ultimately upheld by the probate court.
EXERCISE 11
1. Appellant must have recognized the weakness of its claim. It was represented by Bishop &
Donald, counsel of long experience in government contract litigation, a field that requires
no small degree of expertise.
2. The proposed legal ethics rule would require an attorney to place all funds received on
behalf of a client in the attorney’s client trust account. That would include an advance for
attorney fees not yet earned but it would not include a flat fee paid in advance.
EXERCISE 12
Unless the claim is framed as a federal question, venue would be proper in any of these
judicial districts:
a. The Southern District of New York, if the plaintiff resides there; or
b. The Eastern District of California, if the defendant does business there; or
c. The Northern District of Illinois, if the events in question took place there.
EXERCISE 13
1. Only expensive therapy can alleviate plaintiff’s pain.
2. The attorney argued that his client, being ignorant of the law, should receive a light
sentence.
3. Defendant’s argument overlooks a 1994 amendment to the statute.
4. Only when the claim is brought without good faith can attorney fees be awarded under
Section 309.
5. The special tax provision was apparently intended, in the eyes of Congress, to encourage
the production of cotton.
EXERCISE 14
1. The defendant International Business Machines Corporation is here called “IBM”.
A simpler way is to show the abbreviation in parentheses after the proper name is used the
first time: “Defendant International Business Machines (IBM) contracted with plaintiff…”
2. One thing the Parole Board must consider is the prisoner’s ability to get used to freedom.
3. The purpose of paragraph 9(f) is unclear, but it seems to have been included as an extra
precaution.

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 4. Prison reform depends partly on how much the public knows about what is happening in
prisons.
5. The patent laws, which give a seventeen-year monopoly on “making, using, or selling the
invention, “concern the same general subject as the antitrust laws, and the two should be
construed together. The patent laws modify the antitrust laws to some extent. That is why
General Electric was decided as it was.
EXERCISE 15
1. All advance payments of rent under this lease will be binding on the lessor’s successors in
interest.
2. Tenant has done nothing that would give anyone a claim against the leased premises. [This
exercise and the answer are taken from George Hathaway, An Overview of the Plain
English Movement for Lawyers, 62 Mich. Bar J. 945 (1983).
3. It is a misdemeanor for any person to spit in a public place.
4. It is a misdemeanor for any person to offer anything of value to an umpire, referee, judge,
director or supervisor of a sporting event with the intent to influence the outcome of the
sporting event.
EXERCISE 16
1. The Privacy Act of 1974 says that each federal agency that asks you for information must
tell you the following:
 Its legal right to ask for the information and whether the law says that you must
give it;
 What purpose the agency has in asking you for it and the use to which it will be
put; and
 What could happen if you do not give it.
[This exercise and the answer are taken from Fine Print, p. 1 (Jan. 1980), published by the
Document Design Center of the American Institutes for Research, Washington, D.C.]
2. (a) Seminar on efficient management of law offices.
(b) Regulations concerning bank accounts maintained by attorneys for client trust funds.
(c) Presumptions affecting the burden of proof based on cost analysis.
3. Except as provided in Rule 9.3, any practitioner who is admitted in the highest court of a
sister state shall be admitted to the bar of this court pro have vice, upon motion by a member
who is admitted to practice in this jurisdiction.
4. In an emergency, you will hear a loud horn. Go to the nearest stairs, and do what the Floor
Captain tells you.
5. (a) Exposure to asbestos dust can cause grave injury or death.
(b) Defendant’s recklessness was caused by his callous disregard for the safety of his fellow
workers.
6. (a) Even the most honest witness will embellish the story unless you are in control at every
moment of questioning.
(b) As a trial lawyer, you must develop your own ways to deal with the witness who gives
nonresponsive answers to your questions.
(c) All witnesses must be cautioned before giving their testimony that they are to listen
carefully to the questions and that they are to answer only the questions that have been
asked.
EXERCISE 17
The punctuation errors in Exercise 17 could be corrected in a variety of ways remember
that these answers show only one of the correct ways to do it.

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1. (a) Future investments are designed to upgrade the production of chemicals with higher
product values and to expand selectively into new chemical markets.
(b) Working capital consists of cash and marketable securities, accounts and notes
receivable, other current assets (net of current liabilities) and inventories. (The word order
was changed to make clear that the phrase in parentheses modifies only “current assets.”)
(c) Historically, funds from operations have served as the company’s principal source of
capital, but additions to long-term debt have supplemented this source.
2. (a) Information retrieval presents even more difficult problems in major cases and there
is no way of corporate counsel knowing in advance just what will be required and when.
(b) Two comments are appropriate. First, experts in document retrieval quite probably are
already in the employ of the corporation itself.
(c) Second, why should the attorneys in large, modern corporations use antiquated methods
of retrieval when their business colleagues have the most advanced equipment and
techniques available?
(d) Litigators of the old school oppose the use of modern retrieval methods, they argue that
an adversary’s task in discovery will be that much easier.
(e) This may be a consequence, of course. An adversary may even gain access to the system
itself, and thus find out what questions to ask.
(f) But this is a small price to pay for the benefits granted; the greatest danger to the
corporate client is not knowing the facts.
3. (a) The objective is to define when the responsibility for care, custody, and control of the
plant is transferred from the Contractor to the Company.
(b) The plant, or a part thereof, is ready for commissioning after (a) erection and successful
testing, and (2) when the Company agrees that all contract requirements have been fulfilled.
© After the Company agrees that the plant is ready for commissioning, the Company will
perform all required maintenance operating adjustments and settings, except that all repairs
and changes that are required to meet the contract terms will be performed by the
Contractor.
(d) The Company will notify the Contractor within ninety (90) days of any failure to meet
the performance guarantees.
4. (a) Exploratory costs (including geophysical costs, delay lease rentals, and exploratory dry
hole costs) are expensed as incurred.
(b) Costs of acquiring nonproducing acreage are capitalized, and costs of such acreage that
become productive are amortized by field on a unit-on-production basis.
(c) The corporation shall indemnify, to the full extent authorized or permitted by the laws
or the State of Delaware, any person who is made (or threatened to be made) a party to an
action or proceeding (whether civil, criminal, administrative, or investigative) because he
(or his testator or intestate) is (or was) a director, officer, or employee of the corporation
or served any other corporate function. (Better still, divide this mess into several short
sentences.)
5. (a) Bill Siapno, a trim, 54-year-old geologist, is the head of marine sciences for Deepsea
Ventures, a firm whose goal is to retrieve three million tons a year of mysterious, blackish
mineral lumps called “manganese nodules” from the abyssal plains of the Pacific Ocean.
(b) These sooty, crumbling, irregularly shaped lumps contain more than 40 elements.
(c) The growing specter of mineral shortages and cartels, as well as the promise of
corporate profits, spurred Deepsea Ventures (a consortium of oil, mining, and metal
manufacturing companies) to rackle the difficult task of lifting nodules through three
vertical miles of cold, dark water.

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6. (a) After the plaintiff class had been certif8ied, the judge entered an order requiring all
discovery to be completed by March 30th.
(b) Plaintiffs filed their final set of interrogatories on March 25th; the judge ruled that they
were too late.
(c) The ruling was entirely justified; in fact, the judge might well have imposed monetary
sanctions on plaintiffs’ counsel.
(d) Sanctions are proper when counsel have intentionally violated a discovery order; when
counsel have negligently failed to comply with time deadlines; and when counsel have
delayed discovery, without good faith, by other means.
7. (a) This court therefore decrees that the following items belong to plaintiff Black Sands:
the field known as River Cloud, including well A-2; the profits from all production in the
River Cloud field, including well A-2, from March 13, 1994, to the date of this decree, and
a one half interest in the field known as New Hope.
(b) The Bill of Rights is more than a list of aspirations; it is a contract between the people
and their government.
© The doctrine of res judicata includes merger, bar, and collateral estoppel.
(d) Some of the common law privileges are the attorney-client privilege, the
communications privilege between spouses, and the privilege of the clergy.
8. (a) Punching the pretrial order with his forefinger, the trial judge said, “” No, a thousand
times no, you may not call Dr. Ferdley as an expert witness on the damage issue!”
(b) The following financial statements include the operations of Magnatec International,
Ltd. (a limited partnership between Magnatec, Inc., and Austerflatz, S.A., a Swiss
enterprise that does business only in Turkey).
(c) Price fixing (a violation of the Sherman Act), as well as price discrimination (which is
prohibited, except in some limited situations, by the Robinson Patman Act), and trying
agreements (which can be illegal under either the Sherman or Clayton Acts) are all
explained in the company’s new handbook for sales representatives. (Better still, the
sentence should be divided into several shorter sentences).
(d) He asserted that only one thing caused the downfall of the U.S.S.R. – economic
inefficiency.

9. (a) Tomorrow’s assignment is on the blackboard.

(b) In contracts and torts, both teachers’ assignments are sometimes unclear.
(c) Two witnesses’ testimony is necessary in treason cases.
(d) A witness’s testimony must be based on personal knowledge. (There is no triple sound
here.)
(e) Judges traditionally wear black robes because they add to the proceedings’ dignity.
(Proceedings is a plural noun)
(f) The winning argument was hers, not his.
(g) Sam’s and Virginia’s papers are on the table.
(h) Of all the papers, theirs were outstanding.
(i) It’s necessary to cover every possible contingency.
(j) Professor Simmons’s tax article is on reserve.
(k) Some states’ statutes don’t even mention the problem.
(l) Who’s going to clarify it if the legislatures don’t?
(m) A business’s gross profits can be taxed under the old law. (There is no triple s sound
here)
(n) Profits are sometimes a poor measure of success.
(o) The police asked whose sun it was.
(p) Joe Samuels’s dog bit the postman’s leg.
(q) when its teeth sank in, the postman’s howls could be heard all the way up to the
Jameses’ house.
(4) Her career flourished in the 1990s.

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 ADDITIONAL EXERCISES

EXERCISE 1A
In each sentence below, underline the working words. Then rewrite the sentence, underline
the working words, and compare your results with the original.
1. We believe that the conclusion that emerges in the light of this history is that every
presumption should be on the side of the preservation of rights granted by the common
law.
2. On the assumption that there is an absence of statutory language that would lead us to a
contrary conclusion, it is our belief that preservation of rights to which the parties have
become entitled under common law is the course of action most consistent with sound
social policy.
3. It is the fact that heroin totaling one hundred grams and cocaine totaling fifty grams were
discovered by the agents at the time of the arrest of the appellant.
4. This fact, standing alone, however, fails to compel one to reach the conclusion that there
existed probable cause for the agents to believe that use had been made of the van owned
by appellant for the transportation across state lines of the said heroin and cocaine.

EXERCISE 2 A
Rewrite these sentences, omitting surplus words and avoiding compound constructions.
1. With respect to plaintiff’s third claim, namely that there was a breach of warranty, the
lower court held that by reason of the Uniform Commercial Code, which was
applicable with reference to the sale, there could be no recovery.
2. The testimony of an economist, Dr. Bronovski, was offered for the purpose of
undercutting plaintiff’s evidence with respect to injury by reason of lost sales.
3. In order to prevail on a motion for summing judgment, the defendants must make a
clear showing in terms of the lack of disputed issues of fact.
4. In reference to the allegation set forth I Paragraph 13, please identify by means of the
date, author’s name, and recipient’s name, all laboratory reports written subsequent to
June 29, 1994, but prior to February 25, 1996, in connection with studies conducted for
the purpose of ascertaining the chemical composition of the allegedly infringing
compounds.
5. From the point of view of judicial economy, defendant’s petition should be denied in
accordance with the principle that interlocutory appeals are disfavored. In the event
that the defendant ultimately loses at trial, it can appeal at that point in time with a view
to challenging the trial judge’s ruling, inasmuch as no prejudice is suffered prior to the
time of entry of a final judgment.
EXERCISE 3 A
Revise these sentence to omit the word-wasting idioms.
1. At that point in time, the deputies were not conducting a “search, “even though it is the
fact that they were looking through the windows of the car.
2. This is an instance in which Federal Rule of Evidence 803 would allow the admission
of public records, insofar as they are relevant.
3. It is certainly not the case that every union political activity can escape scrutiny simply
because of the fact that the First Amendment protects free speech.

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 4. It is of equal importance in this instance that the employees should not be able to secure
the benefits of the contract for the period of the strike, until such time as they are willing
also to accept the burdens thereof.
5. There is no doubt but that the inspector was justified by the obvious nervousness of the
skipper in this case in demanding that the cargo be opened for further examination of
its contents in an effort to answer the question as to whether there was contraband
aboard.
6. In the case of a taxpayer who intentionally fails to report the item as income, this is an
instance in which criminal prosecution would be appropriate.
7. If the situation is that the employer has made good faith efforts to comply with the
statutory requirements that should surely be considered, because it is not the case that
the Department must prosecute every offender.
8. In the instance at hand, if attorney Lutz was aware of the fact that Ms. Bowles was
employed in the Sales Division of the adversary corporation, then it was a situation in
which he should have obtained consent of adversary counsel before interviewing her
with respect to matter in connection with the litigation.
EXERCISE 4 A
Rewrite these sentences, omitting surplus words and focusing on the actor, the action, and
the object of the action.
1. There were four grounds stated in the Perault case for ordering the involuntary partition.
2. Since the purchase money has been delivered, it is now the appropriate time for us to close
the escrow account.
3. Absent a claim of fraud, there is no way for plaintiff to avoid the plain language of the
statute.
4. It is difficult for us to imagine a clearer case of abuse of process.
5. It is obvious that there is no factual basis for the second cause of action, and there is
apparently no doubt but that plaintiff’s attorneys realized that.
EXERCISE 5 A
In the following passage you will find all the kinds of surplus words discussed in chapter
2. Rewrite the passage, omitting as many surplus words as you can.
With respect to the use of evidence in regards to a person’s character, there are certain basic
principles that are familiar ground for each and every trial lawyer.
First, in the case of litigation which is concerned with civil claims, evidence relating to a
person’s character is not admissible when offered for the purpose of proving in what manner the
said person acted on a particular occasion. Pursuant to this rule, should driver D cause the death
of pedestrian P by driving over P, the plaintiff in a civil action charging D with the wrongful death
of P could not introduce evidence about or concerning D’s character in regards to driving in a wild
manner as proof of how D drove on the occasion in question.
Second, in respect to litigation involving charges of violations of the criminal law, the
general rule recited above is likewise applied, excluding situations in which certain statutes and
rules have created exceptions with regard to instances in which the general rule is not applied.
Thus, supposing it to be the case that in the example described above, driver D were charged with
vehicular manslaughter in connection with the death of pedestrian P. By application of the general
rule, evidence offered in the prosecution’s case-in- chief for the purpose of proving D’s character
as respects wild driving would not be admissible as circumstantial proof of the manner in which
D drove on the occasion in question.
EXERCUSE 6 A

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 Rewrite this paragraph of a judicial opinion, omitting surplus words and using base verbs
in place of nominalizations.
Plaintiff bases its next argument on its contention that this case should be governed by a rule of
per se illegality. With respect to some categories of restraints on trade, the courts have reached the
conclusion that application of a per se rule is appropriate. In the situations to which a per se rule
is applied, it is the intention of the courts to foreclose the defendant from any contention that the
restraint of trade is reasonable in the circumstances. The per se rule has a tendency to operate
unfairly in those instances where justification of the restraint may be found in economic
efficiencies the achievement of which would be an impossibility in the absence of the restraint.
We have reached the conclusion that justice would be ill served by application of a per se rule to
the case at hand.
EXERCISE 7 A
Underline the verbs in the following sentences. (Note that some of the sentences have more
than one verb.) Then identify each verb as either active voice or passive voice.
1. If a writing has been used by a witness to refresh her memory before testifying, the adverse
party is entitled to see the writing and to use it in cross-examining the witness.
2. If a writing accurately records what a witness perceived, and if the writing was prepared
while the witness’s memory was fresh, and if the witness no longer remembers what she
perceived, then the hearsay exception for past recollection recorded may apply.
3. If the past recollection recorded exception has been held applicable by the trial judge, the
writing may then be read aloud to the jury, but it will not be shown to the jury nor taken
into the jury room during deliberations.
EXERCISE 8 A
Rewrite these sentences, omitting surplus words, using base verbs instead of
nominalizations, and using the active voice. Supply any missing information that you need.
1. If undue risk is to be avoided in your law practice, it must be remembered that attorney
malpractice suits are becoming increasingly common, and ample malpractice insurance is
regarded as a necessity by most prudent lawyers.
2. The jurors should be respected by attorneys, but undue solicitude should be avoided. An
attorney’s posture of fawning deference or attempts to curry favor are resented by jurors.
3. Within three days after a Preliminary Notice of Default has been filed by Owner,
cancellation of all outstanding credit vouchers shall be made by Lender or Lender’s agents.
4. Good faith efforts to purge the contempt by respondents shall be taken into consideration
by the court when the sentence is set.
5. If no request for legal services has been made, and if the proposal of legal representation
is made initially by the lawyer, the solicitation rule may have been violated.
6. The line which was drawn by ABA Model Rule 7.3 is not the same as the First Amendment
line that was drawn in the layer solicitation cases decided by the United States Supreme
Court.
7. Initiation of personal contact with a potential client by a lawyer is prohibited by ABA
Model Rule 7.3 in those instances in which a significant motivation for the initiation of
personal contact is the lawyer’s hope of personal financial gain.
EXERCISE 9 A
Rewrite these passages using short sentences and omitting as many surplus words as you
can.
1. In this law library there is hereafter to be no smoking, except in the lounge on the third
floor which has been specifically set aside for that purpose, and there is to be no

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 consumption of either food or drink in any portion of the law library, however eating and
drinking are permitted in the snack bar area located in the basement.
2. Seeking to support the judgment on additional grounds not passed on by the Court of
Appeals, but which have been argued here both orally and in the briefs, as was proper by
reason of the fact that these grounds raise only issues of law and do not call for examination
or appraisal of evidence, respondents assert that the contracts were in violation of the
Wages and Hours Act.

3. Upon consideration of the motion made by plaintiff in the above entitled action to compel
the defendant herein to answer certain questions posed to her at a deposition properly
noticed and taken in the within action, and upon consideration of the defendant’s
opposition thereto, and having heard the arguments of counsel in open court, and having
considered the entire record on file herein, and having concluded that the deposition
questions in issue are relevant to the within action, or are likely to lead to the discovery of
admissible evidence, and are not objectionable on the ground that they call for information
that would be protected by any privilege granted by statute or the common law, it is,
therefore.
ORDERED AND DECREED that plaintiff’s motion be, and hereby is, granted, and it is
further.
ORDERED AND DECREED that defendant shall appear and answer the deposition
questions which are the subject of the said motion at a date to be set by mutual agreement
of counsel for the plaintiff and counsel for the defendant herein, and it is further
ORDERED AND DECREED that defendant shall pay to plaintiff the sum of $1,000, said
amount reflecting costs and reasonable attorney fee incurred by plaintiff in pursuing the
above motion as aforesaid.

EXERCISE 10 A
Close the gaps in each sentence by moving the intervening words or by splitting the
sentence in two. When you rewrite, omit surplus words.
1. Plaintiff’s complaint, containing nine causes of action including slander, invasion of
privacy, intentional interference with prospective business advantage and intentional
infliction of emotional distress, was filed last Tuesday.

2. Intentional interference with prospective business advantage, although related to a

more familiar tort known generally by the name, interference with contractual relations,
or inducement of breach of contract, does ot require proof that the defendant interfered
with a presently existing contract.

3. Plaintiff’s intentional interference claim alleges, in language typical of the lawyers in

the frim of Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, & Hungerdunger who are serving as
plaintiff’s counsel and who are known throughout this jurisdiction for the purpleness
as well as the opacity of their prose, business losses of one million dollars.

4. On best line of defense against the intentional interference claim, which is not defective
on its face but which has absolutely no basis in fact, is promptly to take the deposition
of the plaintiff and then to made, using the admission that we will undoubtedly be able
to extract from the plaintiff, a motion for partial summary judgment.
EXERCISE 11 A

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 Rewrite these sentences without the nested modifiers. As you rewrite, omit surplus words.
1. Medical insurance, which in the case of union members is covered by a five-year contract
hammered out a few months ago through collective bargaining, is among the company’s
most generous fringe benefits.
2. Computation of the amount to be entered on line 23 can be accomplished by subtracting
the amount entered on line 14, which is obtained by adding the amounts on lines 5, 6 (but
not more than $1,000), and 7, from the amount entered on line 22.
EXERCISE 12 A
Use tabulation to clarify this passage. When you rewrite it, omit surplus words.
If you have accrued 5 years of service in the home office, or 3 years of service in a field office,
excluding, however, a field office located within two miles of your permanent residence or, if you
have served not less than 2 out of the most recent 4 years in an overseas office (except the overseas
offices in Paris, Madrid, and Bonn) and were not accompanied by your dependents, you are eligible
for the Paid Leave of Absence Program, excepting, however, executive officers (Pay Scale EX6
or above), clerical employees (Pay Scale CB or below), and persons not qualified for Section A
benefits.

EXERCISE 13 A
Rewrite these sentences to solve the modifier problems. If a sentence has more than one
possible meaning, select whichever one you wish and rewrite the sentence to express that meaning
unambiguously.
1. Being constantly alert for signs of mechanical or dynamic injury, the deceased is examined
by the pathologist to determine the cause of death.
2. A skilled pathologist is able to distinguish between structural changes produced by trauma
and those produced by disease through years of training and experience.
3. In gunshot cases, a determination must be made whether the wound was inflicted before or
after death by the pathologist.
4. Because of lack of mass and velocity, the pathologist will usually have difficulty with
projectiles fired by small caliber pistols.
5. A pathologist can express an educated guess only on the probable cause of death.
EXERCISE 14 A
Rewrite these passages using familiar, concrete words and omitting surplus words.
1. Judgment upon any arbitration award that may be rendered herein may be entered in any
court having jurisdiction thereof.
2. The within Agreement constitutes the entire understanding and agreement between the
Parties hereto with respect to the subject matter hereof, and no modification or amendment
hereof shall be valid or binding upon the Parties hereto unless said modification or
amendment is made in writing and signed on behalf of each of the said Parties by their
respective proper officers thereunto duly authorized.
3. Defendant, having been interrupted in flagrante delicto, can hardly be heard to assert that
his conduct was not the causa causans of injury.

4. NOW THEREFORE, BE IT KNOWN that in consideration of the premises as well as in

consideration of the sum of Five Thousand Dollars ($5,000.00) paid in hand by License to

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 Licensor contemporaneously with the delivery by Licensor to Licensee of a duly executed
copy of this License Agreement, and in consideration of the royalty payments herein
specified to be paid by Licensee to Licensor, and in consideration of the terms, conditions,
and covenants herein set forth, it is mutually agreed and covenanted by and between
Licensor and Licensee as follows, to wit:

5. It is my desire and intention to give and provide to my beloved stepdaughter, the said
Angelina, a full and complete education, including post-graduate training if that be her
interest, wish and desire. I do therefore hereby give, devise, and bequeath unto her, to have
and to hold, all my right, title and interest in and to the following properties described
herein below.
EXERCISE 15 A
When you rewrite the following passages, pay special attention to your choice of words.
1. Every person who unlawfully throws out a switch, removes a rail, or places any obstruction
on any railroad with the intention of derailing any passenger, freight, or other train, car, or
engine, or who unlawfully places any dynamite or other explosive material or any other
obstruction upon or near the tract of any railroad with the intention of blowing up or
derailing any such train, car, or engine, or who unlawfully sets fire to any railroad bridge
or trestle, over which any such train, car, or engine must pass, with the intention of
wrecking such train, car, or engine, is guilty of a felony, and shall be punished by
imprisonment in the state prison for life without possibility of parole.

2. Advertisers are hereby notified that it is the policy of this newspaper to refuse publication
of any material designed for the purpose of encouraging, promoting, influencing, or
advancing the sale of any products, wares, goods, commodities, services, or the like, which
because of its content, form style, substance, appearance or manner of presentation is or
may be likely to cause any reader thereof to believe that said material is an article, story,
column, editorial, or similar non-advertising portion of this newspaper.
EXERCISE 16 A
1. Rewrite this passage to eliminate the elegant variation:
An attorney is subject to professional discipline for incompetence. Proceedings to impose
professional sanction may be commenced against practitioners who undertake matters they
know they are not sufficiently skilled to handle. Further, lawyers who accept a case and
then fail to prepare to handle the matter in an able manner can be censured, suspended, or
disbarred. Not only attorney discipline but also civil liability for malpractice must be taken
into consideration. In action for professional negligence, lawyers can be held liable for
damages proximately caused by their incompetence. Plaintiffs in legal malpractice
litigation include not only clients, but also other persons who were intended to benefit from
the services rendered by the defendant practitioner.

2. Eliminate the multiple negatives in this passage:

It shall be a violation of these rules for any member to fail to post a notice in a prominent
place that is not obscured from public view listing the member’s retail prices for all items
offered for sale, excepting only limited time special sale prices offered for not more than
three days.

3. The following passage is from a bulleting written by an in-house lawyer for a corporation.
The purpose of the bulletin is to inform the corporation’s employees about a new legal
service plan. When you rewrite the passage, avoid cosmic detachment by addressing it
directly to the employees, and make the passage as simple and easy to read as you can.

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 Entitlement to participation in the Employee Legal Service Plan is dependent upon the
employee’s compliance with the following requirements (a) employment with the company
must have commenced at least thirty (30) days prior to enrolment by the employee in the
Plan; (b) employment must be on a Regular Staff basis, the Plan not being available to any
person employed on either a Casual or Temporary Help basis; and (c) the employee must
have submitted a completed Employee Legal Service Plan Enrolment Form to Personnel
& Employment Services, and an appropriate Payroll Deduction Request must have been
filed by the employee with Accounting & Payroll.

4. The following passage is from a book intended for lawyers who wish to work on the legal
staff of a corporation. Revise it to eliminate the sexist language. The function of in-house
corporate counsel in administering litigation is sometimes said to be limited his job is to
achieve the best practical results at the lowest reasonable cost. He has done his work well
if he selects the best man as outside trial counsel, and then reviews the matter from time to
time to make sure things are proceedings on course. That view is unsound for many
reasons. The trial lawyer is an important like between the corporation and the public;
frequently he is called on to respond in the heat of battle with little or no notice. Generally
his interest and perceptions are far different from the corporate executive, the man who
lives daily within the corporation. The outside trial lawyer may be an expert in trial
strategy, tactics, and practice, but he is almost certainly no expert in corporate management
and policy. In house corporate counsel need not have had trial experience to manage
litigation, though it helps if he has earned his spurs in a few years of law firm practice. But
it is important that he know enough about litigation to handle policy decisions, judge the
effectiveness of trial counsel, and administer those matters which are his primary
responsibility.
EXERCISE 17 A
Correct the punctuation and make whatever other revisions you think are needed in the
following passage:
When a lawyer serves the government for a period, and then leaves to enter private law
practice the government has a right to expect that it’s confidential information will not be
abused. Further private clients should not be allowed to gain unfair advantage from information
known to a lawyer only because of his’ or her’ prior government service and lawyers should
not be in a position to benefit private clients because of prior, government service. Finally,
possible future benefit to private clients should not distort a lawyers’ professional judgment
while working for the government.
All of the foregoing would suggest: that there should be a broad rigid rule of disqualification,
for lawyers who move from the government to private practice! Such a rule however would
have a serious draw-back, the government would be hindered in recruiting good lawyers for
short term government service. Thus – the A.B.A. Model Code of Professional Responsibility
(‘ABA Code,’) and the A.B.A. Model Rule’s of Professional Conduct (“A.B.A. MODEL
Rules) strike a compromise by establishing disqualification rules, that are relatively narrow,
and flexible. Except when expressly permitted by law a lawyer who leaves government service,
and enters private law practice must not represent a private client in a, “… matter …”in which
the lawyer participated.”… personally and substantially – “while in government service (unless
the government agency consents after consultation. That raises a question about “matters”
meaning? As used in the rule the term ‘matter …’does not mean: “a general topic”, or “broad
subject area”. Rather it means a specific set of facts, involving specific parties. A.B.A. Model
Rule 1.11(d) defines, “matter,” more fully as: “any judicial or other proceeding, application or
request for a ruling or other determination; contract, claim, controversy, investigation charge,
accusation arrest or other particular matter involving a specific party or parties.”

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