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11
DEVELOPING THE THESIS STATEMENT MODULE

What is a Thesis?
Arguably the most important sentence in the academic essay, the thesis statement is the central
argument that a writer explores and defends in his or her paper. It must do several important things:

o make a focused claim that is debatable

o take a risk by saying something unique or even strange
o make an argument based on evidence (including contradictory evidence)
o govern the entire paper

A thesis is NOT:
o A topic. A thesis makes an argument about the topic.
o A purpose statement. The difference between a purpose statement and a thesis statement is the
difference between summary and argument: a purpose statement describes an event or conclusion
and details the way in which the essay will be organized, whereas a thesis statement argues a point
and may include an element of organization. Nearly all academic essays require theses, but usually
only longer papers include both.

Practice: Identify each example below as either a purpose statement or a thesis statement. Explain your
reasoning.
EXAMPLE A: My essay will show that Barack Obama’s Tucson address to commemorate the victims of the
January 2011 shooting is simultaneously an address to comfort a grieving nation and a call to reform our
political dialogue.
Write here:

EXAMPLE B: Despite the fact that isolationist policies have usually characterized political relations between
China and America, increasing trade opportunities seem to signal a new age for Chinese-American
interaction.
Write here:
Starting from Scratch: Discovering the Thesis
Occasionally, a client will want to create a thesis statement for an assignment without having any other
written materials. In this case, brainstorming in order to help the client create a working thesis may help
him or her move to the next stage in the writing process. Consider the following strategies:

Questions, Questions, Questions

1. Begin by asking, “what interests the writer, and why?” Write these ideas down.
2. Transform these ideas into claims, for at its essence, a thesis makes a claim. Most claims fall under
one of five categories (a claim can include more than one of the following, since these categories
are interrelated):
Resemblance- This type of claim highlights the similarities between two (or more) elements or
texts while also detailing the differences. It then proves the significance of these similarities or
differences, drawing conclusions without judging or valuing one over the other.
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Evaluation- An evaluation claim builds off the idea of comparison, but makes a judgment as to
which element is better. This kind of claim might also take shape by comparing and contrasting the
writer’s opinions with the opinions of another and explaining why the writer’s views are correct.
Definition- This type of claim uses evidence to argue the meaning of an abstract idea or subject.
Causal- A causal claim suggests that one element affects another or that a particular outcome is
the result of a specific cause.
Proposal- This kind of claim argues whether an action or solution should or should not be
implemented.
3. Help the client hone in on his or her favorite or most unique claim. Continue posing “how,” “why,”
and “so what?” questions to probe deeper into the topic and to develop a working thesis.
4. List what must be discussed in the paper in order to prove this thesis. Ask questions to ensure the
thesis is rich and detailed.
EXAMPLE: Since successful, new teachers are influential in reshaping stagnant educational policies,
the insufficient number of new teachers in school systems across America could contribute to the
failure of worthwhile reform ideas.
o Define “stagnant policies” that new teachers influence
o Explain how such teachers influence policies
o Detail why so few new teachers are entering the system
o Discuss examples of worthwhile reform ideas that might not come to fruition without
teacher support
While the answers to these questions could deepen or make more powerful working thesis
statements, they can also be used to develop different parts of the essay. This list can become an
outline, could provide the context necessary for the introduction, could develop the conclusion, or
could become topic sentences.

Try outlining an introduction. This is often helpful because it allows the client to explain background
information necessary to the topic, allowing for a thesis that is free from extra information.

Graphically display the thesis development if possible. The following chart displays two ways to go
about creating a thesis, depending on what the client brings to the session. If the client has notes
and sources he or she plans on using as evidence, but has no clear idea of where to begin writing,
you might suggest using inductive reasoning. If, on the other hand, the client has a sense of
what his or her argument might be, but needs to gather evidence to support this tentative claim,
deductive reasoning might be more suited to the session.

Inductive Reasoning vs. Deductive Reasoning

1. Search through the evidence/text for 1. Start with an initial hypothesis, a working
patterns and details. thesis that suggests connections between
differing ideas.

2. Isolate the details and evaluate their 2. Look through evidence with this thesis in
initial meanings without making judgments, mind and continue to make connections,
hypotheses, or assumptions. careful not to ignore evidence that doesn’t
fit.
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3. Evaluate their deeper meanings and 3. Continue to revise the thesis with the
connotations until it becomes possible to inclusion of new evidence that supports or
find connecting themes throughout the refutes the initial claim.
evidence.

Form a thesis statement that incorporates your evidence into a cohesive

claim, recognizing that this statement is vulnerable and subject to change.

Compare/Contrast Diagrams are another way to graphically display the development of a thesis.

General/Me/The Text
This table forces the client to address general assumptions as well as the client’s own opinions and the
meaning of the text. Use full sentences to encourage the formation of claims early on, and include page
numbers when applicable.

General Me The Text

Most people I’ve met tend to Cats are my favorite animal. Recent polls show that 74%
like dogs more than they like of Americans say they like
cats. dogs a lot, while only 41%
say they like cats a lot (10).

Venn Diagram The Venn diagram is a classic tool for comparing and contrasting two ideas. It usually exists
in bullet-point form, but can be used to create more complex organizational tools.

Initial Claim: Early Conservation had negative effects.

Topic A Similarities Topic B

Conservation Native Americans

--hurt
removed land were removed
people
use rights of from Yellowstone
Appalachian --harmed and their
citizens, who ecosyste controlled fires
then set fire to m could no longer
government land benefit the land
--people
removed
from land

--fire
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Modified Venn Diagram This modified version allows for subcategories and for more detail. Encouraging
the client to write similarities in complete sentences forces him or her to make claims early on in the
writing process and produces possible claim statements for use in the body of the essay.

Assignment: Compare the searches for truth and faith in Milton’s and Spenser’s respective texts.

Milton Similarities Spenser

Form: Persuasive Speech Milton and Spenser use Form: Allegory

different rhetorical strategies
o addressing a specific o no specific audience
in depicting their quests for
audience: Parliament (literate people)
o straightforward truth and faith. o hidden meanings
o layers and details
Religion If Christians do not Religion
constantly question their
o Protestant- keep o Protestant- obvious
religion, they will drift away o pokes at Catholicism
questioning to find
from both faith and truth. o Redcrosse doesn’t
truth
o publish books free question and he
screws up all the time
from censorship
o arguing a point: to
question the church is
encouraged
Appearance vs. Substance Just as Spenser criticized Appearance vs. Substance
Redcrosse for his internal sin,
o should not be a forced o outward appearance
so too Milton reproaches the
outward consensus of virtue disguises sin
Church for masking its inner
masking inner
divisions. Both Church and
divisions
Redcrosse must redress
these discrepancies between
appearance and substance
to achieve their quests.

Begin with a sentence diagram in order to get the client started. Drafting a larger claim that encompasses
these sub-claims can be a way to create a working thesis. Don’t forget to continue to ask questions to help
the thesis evolve.
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Redcrosse should question Redcrosse represents the Church

QUESTIONING FAITH/RELIGION INNER/OUTER CONSISTENCY

Church should allow questioning

WORKING THESIS: Milton and Spenser promote questioning of faith to realign the outward appearance and
inward substance. Only then can the quests for truth and faith be undertaken successfully.

Of what? What quests in particular?

Practice
Given the following assignments, how would you help your client get to a point where he or she can draft a
thesis? Be sure to use more than one strategy.

ASSIGNMENT 1: Select two abstract drawings that you can view in person – either at a local Museum or a
Chicago Museum. Describe each work and then compare and contrast the two. What concepts or subjects
does the artist wish to convey? How does the artist convey the subject through materials and technique?
Write here:

ASSIGNMENT 2: Assess the effectiveness of President Obama’s healthcare plan. Use materials from class
and articles from quality sources to inform your decision.
Write here:

Starting from a Draft: Clarifying the Thesis Statement

More often than not, clients will have drafts that lack clear thesis statements. Clients may also come to the
Center thinking they have thesis statements when what they really have are summaries. In this case, your
job as a tutor is to help a client move from a sentence that describes something to a sentence that takes a
stand. In other cases, you may have to create a thesis from the points made in the existing draft.

The Three-story Thesis

One way to begin moving from summary to argument is to identify a thesis as falling into one of the
“Three-story Thesis” categories. The goal of this is to transform a thesis from explaining a surface-level
claim to a making strong, in-depth argument. You learned this method in the Discussing Essay Structure
module under the heading, “A Developmental Approach to the Thesis: One Step at a Time.” Review it
below:
The one-story thesis makes a statement that lacks analysis, answering “what?” without interpreting
between elements. This type of thesis simply shows the writer is familiar with the material.

EXAMPLE: Hermione Granger is a stereotypical bookworm.

The two-story thesis analyzes facts and examines relationships and connections between elements,
answering both “what?” and “how?” without exploring tension or contradiction. This type of thesis helps
the reader understand something he or she might have otherwise missed.
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EXAMPLE: By contrasting bookish and heroic qualities, Rowling shows that Hermione Granger is not
just a bookworm.

The three-story thesis, or tension thesis, encompasses all angles of an issue, using tension or
contradicting elements to qualify relationships and make an argument that answers “what?” and “how”
while also exploring the “why?” question. This type of thesis challenges assumptions and proves a
statement, usually explaining its significance to the world at large.

EXAMPLE: Although Hermione initially displays all the characteristics of a stereotypical bookworm,
her subsequent displays of courage, adventurousness, and loyal friendship prove that she is a round
character.

Progressing from one “story” to the next:

o Repeatedly ask questions: Why is this interesting? Why does it matter? How does this relate to the
assumptions of others?
o Be specific: If the client is interested in how different authors view a particular issue, for example,
which texts or aspects of a larger issue will he or she explore? How are these texts similar? How do
they differ, and why? Why do these differences or similarities matter?
o Revisit the texts or evidence: Have new patterns become visible? How did this exploration of the
text differ from the last? Is the topic more complex that it seemed at first?
o Focus on relationships: How is each idea connected to the next? Does one contradict another? Is
one a result of the previous idea? Do two ideas coincide or reflect each other?

o Have the client write a brief summary of the essay, and then have him or her identify a sentence or
two within that summary that captures what the client is trying to say. Use that to create a thesis
statement by adding argument and probing deeper with “how,” “why,” and “so what?” questions.

EXERCISE: Determine whether the following sentences are one-story, two-story, or three-story theses.
What questions might you ask in order to move a lesser thesis to the third story?

EXAMPLE: In Shakespeare’s sonnet 18, the speaker compares his lover to a summer’s day in order to
praise his lover’s superior beauty.
Write here:

EXAMPLE: Marie de France treats adultery very inconsistently: some adulterous characters are rewarded,
while others are punished. Typically, the author rewards those characters who enter into adulterous
relationships to escape from an unhappy marriage, and she punishes those who commit adultery simply
for lust or profit.
Write here:

Using Existing Paragraphs

Sometimes it helps to think of the thesis and its accompanying paragraphs as part of a symbiotic
relationship: while the thesis guides the meaning and order of these paragraphs, the paragraphs in turn
must support and prove the thesis. If the client has a thesis but lacks a draft, he or she must build this
relationship by creating paragraphs that support the thesis. If, however, the client has a draft but lacks a
thesis, he or she must then create a thesis that encompasses the argument made by the existing
paragraphs. Consider the following strategies:
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o The backwards outline is your friend! Creating an outline of the essay helps make visible the claims
made in the existing paragraphs. These sub-claims can then be used in creating an all-
encompassing thesis statement.
o Charts or diagrams that clarify connections between the existing claims often help draw out deeper
ideas about the topic. A thesis can then be drafted from the resulting connections.
o Consider the evidence. What type of claim fits best (resemblance, evaluation, causal, definition, or
proposal)? Use the guidelines of this type of claim as a template for creating a thesis.

Exercise: Given the following list of an essay’s topic sentences, how might you get the client to create a
working thesis?
o The contrast of Siobhan’s androgynous appearance against the nude’s faceless femininity
emphasizes the importance of Siobhan’s inner character over the objectified female body.
o This contrast pits the queer female against traditional feminine beauty, thus accentuating the
subject’s “otherness.”
o When one looks beyond the juxtaposition of queer female and classical nude, however, the objects
at the sink beneath the mirror reveal the potential for transformation of identity and thus for the
forgetting of “otherness.”
o While Goldin’s photograph and the concepts underlying the image may have been striking at the
time, Siobhan seems a stereotypical, two-dimensional representation of a lesbian by today’s
standards.
o Visually, of course, the image remains appealing, and the ultimate ideas inherent in the work raise
important questions.
Write here:

Testing the Thesis

The working thesis must be tested many times for depth, strength, and clarity. Below are several strategies
for assessing the status of a thesis and determining how to fix it before continuing.

Six Steps for Making a Thesis Evolve

Remember that the thesis will change drastically over the course of the writing process. One way to
understand this evolution is through “The Six Steps for Making a Thesis Evolve”:
1. Begin with a simple argument. What is the initial claim about the topic?
2. Use this thesis and apply it to the evidence as much as possible by drafting or outlining the essay.
3. Identify evidence that does not fit the thesis.
4. Explain how and why the evidence does not fit the thesis (or the thesis does not fit the evidence).
5. Change the thesis to include this evidence by either resolving or explaining contradictions
(language such as “although,” “despite,” “because,” and “but/however” is often useful here).
6. Repeat the previous steps as necessary.
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Prioritize
When analyzing a thesis statement, you might find yourself overwhelmed with too many issues in one
sentence. Ask yourself the following questions when reading through a thesis in order to help you
determine where to begin. If you come to a question and the answer is “no,” then address this issue before
moving on to the next.
1. Does the thesis answer the question or assignment?
2. Does the thesis statement make an argument that is debatable?
3. Is the argument specific, focused, and original?
4. Can the argument be supported with evidence?
5. Does the thesis incorporate any counter-arguments or contradictory evidence?
6. Will the reader glean the organization of the paper from the thesis?
7. Does the sentence follow the rules of grammar, syntax, and style?

Fill in the Blanks

When the client comes up with an initial claim or thesis, try using one or both of the following templates to
test the strength of this statement. These templates draw attention to holes within the original statement
and force the client to dig deeper.

o The Magic Thesis Sentence: this template looks at the “how” and “so what?” of the argument.
By looking at ______, we can see______, which most readers don’t see; this is important
because______.

o The Enthymeme: this template addresses the “how” and the “why” of the argument.
STATEMENT + BECAUSE/SINCE + REASONS

EXAMPLE: Original claim: Chinese-American political relations are a main issue in world politics.

The Magic Thesis Sentence: By looking at___________, we can see that Chinese-American political relations
are a main issue in world politics, which most readers don’t see; this is important because ____________.

This template points to the fact that the original claim does not analyze any
piece of evidence. It also shows that the claim lacks originality and
significance.

The Enthymeme: Chinese-American political relations are a main issue in world politics
because____________.

This template shows that the original claim lacks support—the writer has no
reason to be making this claim.

Once you have identified the holes in the claim, you and the client can begin filling them in by answering
the “how,” “why,” and “so what?” questions that are missing.
Practice
What is missing from the following theses? How might you help the client understand the gaps, and how
would you help him or her fill them?
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EXAMPLE: In Marie de France’s poetry, some characters who indulge in adultery are rewarded for their
behavior, while others are punished.

Write here:

EXAMPLE: The character of Huckleberry Finn is consistently depicted in a racist way, and Huck’s treatment
of him is fundamentally racist as well.

Write here:

EXAMPLE: The purpose of this essay is to assess the development of Hermione Granger in Harry Potter and
the Deathly Hallows.

Write here:
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Works Cited

“Characteristics of an effective thesis.” The Bedford Handbook. Diana Hacker, 2008. Web.

“Developing a Thesis Statement.” Swarthmore College Writing Center. Swarthmore College Writing Center,
n.d. Web.

“Developing Your Thesis.”Nesbitt-Johnston Writing Center. Hamilton College, n.d. Web.

“Teaching the Thesis Sentence.” Dartmouth Writing Program. Dartmouth Writing Program, n.d. Web. 21
Apr. 2010.

“Thesis Statements.” The Writing Center. University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, n.d. Web.

“Thesis Statements: What, Where, Why, and How.” Grinnell College Writing Lab. Grinnell College, n.d. Web.

Beld, Jo. “Characteristics of Compelling Thesis Statements.” Web.

Goluboff, Ben. Personal interview. 1 Mar. 2011.

Graff, Gerald, and Cathy Birkenstein. They Say/I Say.2nd ed. New York : W.W. Norton & Co., 2010. Print.

Harvey, Gordon. “Appendix B: elements of Academic Argument.” The Academic Essay. Print.

Hoffman, Gary, and Glynis Hoffman. Adios, Strunk and White. 4th ed. Huntington Beach: Verve, 2007. Print.

Kolb, Harold H. A Writer's Guide. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1980. Print.

Rosenwasser, David, and Jill Stephen. “Making a Thesis Evolve.” Writing Analytically. 5th ed. Boston:
Thomson Wadsworth, 2009. Print.

Ruiz Dacal, Irene. “Thesis Statements—The Basics.”

Simpson, Erik. “Five Ways of Looking at a Thesis.” Web.

Weida, Stacy. “Establishing Arguments.” OWL. OWL at Purdue, 20 Feb. 2007. Web.

Whidden, Rachel. Personal interview. 9 Mar. 2011.