Alchemy 50 Essential Personal Tips

50
Essential Tips
for You at Work
Personal effectiveness guide
to make your job easier
Paul Matthews
50 Essential Tips
for You at Work
Personal effectiveness guide

to make your job easier
Paul Matthews
50 Essential Tips for You at Work
© 2015 Paul Matthews

The right of Paul Matthews to be identified as the author of
this work is asserted world-wide. All rights reserved. No part
of this publication may be produced, stored or transmitted in
any form by any means, electrical, mechanical or otherwise
without the prior written consent of the author.
2
Introduction
Most people want to do a good job at work. They want to
enjoy their work and get good results for themselves and their
colleagues, their customers and their organisation.
This is so much easier to do if you know some simple tips and
tools. Some people just seem to be able to do things more easily,
and quicker, and have better working relationships.
They know things that perhaps you don’t.
Every Monday morning, tens of thousands of people receive
an email from me that contains a Monday Tip which provides
them with an idea to focus on during the week to improve their
efficiency at work.
This little booklet contains tips selected from my weekly tip collection.
Inside this booklet, you’ll discover:
• How to be a rock with ears
• How to win an argument
• Seven catchy email subject lines that work
• Use ‘why’ power, not ‘will’ power
• Preparing a good meeting
• How to do more in less time
• The secret to changing your life
• And lots more!
Paul Matthews,
Founder and MD of People Alchemy
[email protected]
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1 Did today really matter?

What did you accomplish?
Did you make a difference in someone’s life?
Did you grow your own life?
Reflecting on your day’s experiences helps you get more of
what you want. So take just one minute at the end of each day
to reflect on what happened.
To keep it positive, add in a couple of questions:
1. How can I ...?
2. What if I ...?
2 Be a rock with ears

Most of us are busy... really busy.
And sometimes that can feel a bit overwhelming. Our bodies
and minds do not get the periods of quiet they need.
So try this right now...
Close your eyes for a couple of minutes and listen to the sounds
around you. Be a ‘rock with ears’ and just notice the sounds.
That’s all.
If your mind starts a running commentary, just focus back on
the sounds outside of you.
What happens?
For most people, the world seems different - slower, kinder,
more peaceful.
And for most people, stopping to do this a few times a day can
help stave off the stress generated by our busy lives.
4
3 You know it’s going to hurt

You know it’s going to hurt. That’s why you don’t want to do it.
Actually, you are not lazy. You are procrastinating because that
task on your list is making you uncomfortable.
What task are you delaying at the moment?
Is it really going to hurt that much?
Be honest with yourself. What is it about the task that is
bothering you?
What are the benefits of getting it done?
Balance the discomfort against the benefits. Which wins?
4 See it from their perspective

Working with difficult people, whether they are colleagues or
customers, is one of the common challenges at work. They can
be so distracting and can take up so much of your valuable time.
Stop... and then seek to see the world from the other person’s
point of view.
I am not saying that you should agree with them; but at least try
and figure out why they are behaving the way they do. People
always have a valid reason (to them) for doing what they do.
So you could ask them...”What is the positive outcome you
want to achieve by this behaviour?” or words to that effect. At
the very least it will make them stop and think and you will
probably learn something useful.
5 How to win an argument

Arguments happen. It is inevitable given the rich diversity
of human thinking and the complexity of situations we find
ourselves in.
5
We all have our own views on what is right or wrong given our
knowledge, our upbringing, and our own personal experiences
in life. And therein lies the problem.
Other people have a different upbringing and a different set of
experiences from which they conclude what is right or wrong.
Why is your conclusion from your perspective any more or less
valid than theirs, or somebody else’s?
Arguments get resolved when both parties realise it’s more
important to find a solution than it is to be right, especially
because ‘right’ is subjective.
Think of an argument you have had, and notice how the outcome
could be different without the need to be ‘right’.
6 People do like change. Really?

I am sure you have heard this...
‘People are afraid of change’ or its little brother ‘People don’t
like change’.
Wrong!
People are NOT afraid of change. People are afraid of loss.
People don’t want change when they anticipate loss, or there
is enough uncertainty about the change or their ability to cope
with it, that loss is possible.
People want change when they anticipate gain, and are relatively
certain of that gain.
If you want people to embrace change, they must see some
benefit to themselves that far outweighs any possible losses.
What change is going on around you at the moment?
What are the pros and cons from the perspective of each
individual involved in the change?
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7 How do they like it?

It’s not just the quality of your information which will have an
impact, but also how you package it.
Notice how others, your boss, your team, and your colleagues,
package information they need to deliver.
Is it verbal, or by email, or lots of text, or bulleted lists, or pictures
and diagrams, or made into stories, or have lots of referenced
sources, or... ?
These are the clues you need so you know how they like it
when information is given to them. And of course you could
ask them how they like it :-)
Package information for others in a way they would like it, and
you will have a far greater impact and more influence.
With this insight, how will you change the way you create your
next report or presentation, or how you will respond when
debriefed on your activities?
In effect, you are building rapport by matching their prefer-
ences.
8 Who wins, you or your calendar?

Time poor?
If you think your time and attention is your scarcest resource,
then your calendar is the most important tool you have.
You must make sure you control your calendar, and that it
doesn’t control you.
Do you use your calendar to focus on spending time doing
things to achieve your goals, or is your goal just to keep up
with your calendar?
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If someone looked at how you spend your time, what would

they conclude about your goals?
Are you doing much about your biggest goals?
9 Who is going to get what you want?

Think of the things that you want out of life, or think of the
goals you have at work.
What sort of person could easily get those goals?
Perhaps the reason those goals are still eluding you is that you
are not yet the person who you need to be in order to achieve
them.
Notice how some things are easy for you now, yet even just a
few years ago they would have been virtually impossible for
you because of who you were back then in terms of your beliefs,
values and attitude.
If you are like most people, you probably need to change within
yourself in order for your goals to become possible for you.
Perhaps your steppingstone goals are about who you need to
become?
10 Seven catchy email subject lines

that work
Your weekly tip from Alchemy
Dear {FIRSTNAME},
Would you like people to read your emails?
Have a look at your inbox and the list of subject lines. How
many look like they would be worth reading?
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Here’s a simple trick to help make your email stand out in the
recipients inbox.
Read Cosmopolitan!
Or any magazine or popular newspaper where the article
headlines help sell copies.
You will find article headlines like...
“What I wish I knew before I...”
“5 simple ideas to ...”
“The top mistakes people make in...”
“The one thing we all forgot to do...”
“Finally, a solution that works...”
“Take advantage of...”
“3 things you never knew about...”
Now think about how you can make your email subject lines
more catchy.
11 Grab a coat hanger and try this!

Get a wire coat hanger or a paper clip. Apply a small external
force, a stressor, to the wire and it will bend. While it is subject
to the force, the wire, internally, is under strain, but remove the
force, and it springs back. You can do this many times and the
wire retains its shape.
Now apply a greater force. When the force is big enough, the
wire ‘gives way’. Now when you release the force, the wire
remains bent to some degree.
But we know that wire varies in how much force it will bear
before deforming. The springier the wire, the more force it will
take and still retain its shape.
When you are challenged or under pressure, you are subject
to an external stressor. How well you cope with that stressor,
whether you deal with it or give way and suffer from induced
stress, depends on your ‘springiness’.
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So to manage stress, you need to reduce the applied force, the

stressor, or increase your ability to handle stressors by increasing
your springiness.
Make a list of the stressors you have around you, and how you
can change them to reduce their ability to induce stress in you,
or change yourself so you react differently to them.
12 Does this surprise you as well as

the Dalai Lama?
When asked what surprises him most, the Dalai Lama replied:
“Man surprises me most.
He sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not
enjoy the present.
The result being that he does not live in the present or the future.
He lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having
never really lived.”
“So what would you advise?” the interviewer asked.
“Simple. Have fun. Why else are you here?” the Dalai Lama
replied.
13 What is the one thing you

shouldn’t do today?
If you’re like most people, you have a long to-do list.
Some of it is urgent, and some of it is important.
And almost certainly, there is at least one thing on your to-do
list that does not actually need to be done... ever.
10
Successful people take the time to reflect on what they should

not be doing in order to free up more time to focus on their
important tasks.
What is on your list today, especially regular tasks, that you can
stop doing or delegate?
14 Life balance
We are all increasingly aware of the need to gain balance in our
lives, especially a balance between work and other aspects of
our lives. This is important as the demands at work increase
and we get drawn into spending more and more time at work.
Take stock of your own sense of life balance. Is it OK, or does
it need some changes?
Clearly you need to start with doing some kind of life audit,
in the sense of reviewing the current state of your life balance.
This does not need to be a big thing, and can simply be thinking
through these questions when you have some time on a train
or a bus.
1. What is the current state of affairs?
2. How do you feel about your work life and personal life?
3. Where do you spend your time now - typically?
4. How do you feel about that?
15 Use ‘why’ power, not ‘will’ power

When you want to make a change, there is one key factor that
determines whether you do what it takes to make the change stick.
You need to use ‘why’ power rather than ‘will’ power.
When the ‘why’ is big enough and clear enough, you will WANT
to do what it takes.
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Think of a change you want to make.

How big and clear is the ‘why’?
Chances are it is not big enough, or you would already be
changing.
So what do you need to do, or who do you need to talk to, to
get a bigger ‘why’?
16 Testing Your Listening

Listening is a skill we already have, though for many of us, other
things get in the way of using our skill effectively.
What stops you listening effectively?
Are you rehearsing what you want to say next?
Are wishing they would just get on with it?
Are you distorting what they are saying so it fits how you
view things?
Are you doing something else at the same time?
If someone does this to you when you are talking, how does
that make you feel?
17 Professional image on the phone

We spend a lot of time on the phone, and we all make judgements
about the person on the other end, particularly if we have never
met them.
What judgements are people making about you?
If you want to convince or influence the other person, then
the judgements they are making about you are critical to your
success.
Our voice is affected by our breathing which is affected by our
posture. So even though the other person can’t see you, adopt
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a posture that accords with the image you wish to project. Sit
up straight; or even better stand up with an air of authority, and
this will manifest in your voice. Your posture will also affect the
way you feel and thus the unconscious choice of words you use.
18 Questioning skills
We all want to be understood. Paradoxically, this will happen
much more readily if we seek first to understand.
And the way we can understand is to ask good and respectful
questions.
Observe yourself next time you are in a conversation. If you
find that you want to jump in with a statement, try asking a
question instead to enable you to understand more - and really
listen to the answer rather than continuing to rehearse your
statement in your head.
The result of doing this regularly is that people will warm to
you as they feel acknowledged by you. This will make all your
working relationships much easier and more productive. You
may also find that they start seeking your opinion!
19 Why criticism hurts

We all know about criticism and the damage it can do to us – to
our confidence and self-esteem. But what is criticism and how
is it different to feedback?
The simplest way to tell the difference is to consider who the
comments will benefit.
Are they for the benefit of the giver or the receiver?
Feedback is for the benefit of the receiver. Its purpose is to help
them grow and develop, and reinforce positive behaviour or
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actions. It is designed to help and support, and focuses on how

to learn from the situation in order to move forward.
On the other hand, criticism always benefits the giver. In most
cases, it is done to make the giver feel in some way superior to
the receiver. It is often negative and judgmental. It is in many
cases subjective rather than objective and it is usually destructive.
It is most likely to make the recipient feel defensive, angry or
hurt – emotions which stifle learning and growth. Criticism is also
often used to apportion blame and to offload negative feelings.
20 What can undermine your

confidence?
Confidence is something many of us wish we had a bit more of,
especially in circumstances where we feel powerless.
One way you can think of confidence is that it is our natural state,
and actually what happens is that there are blockages to our
confidence. The more blockages we have, the less confident we feel.
I am not saying that this is true, but it can be a useful way to
think about it.
So rather than thinking about what you need to become confi-
dent, think about what is getting in the way.
We have been trained to think in terms of boosting confidence.
Turn this around. Whatever does boost your confidence is
probably smothering something that is sapping your confidence,
thus allowing your confidence to shine through.
Wouldn’t it be better to remove the obstacle rather than having
to keep overcoming it with confidence boosters every time?
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21 Thoughts on stress
Strictly speaking, stress is self-inflicted.
You might not want to hear that, particularly if you feel stressed
right now, but think about it for a moment.
Something happens ‘out there’, and then we react ‘inside’. The
way we react determines if we feel stress or not.
Since the same event can result in stress in some people, but
not in others, it is clear that we react differently to each other.
So how do you react to events?
Since it is you doing the reacting, could you react differently?
Notice also that sometimes an event will result in you feeling
stressed, and at other times it won’t. What is the difference?
The difference will depend on your state of mind at the time,
and that running commentary of thoughts we all have.
22 A carwash experience...

Last week I went to a hand car wash that had recently opened
nearby. My car was pounced on by seven people and literally
within minutes it emerged clean and sparkling. I was impressed.
The team boss was watching, and he gestured to one of the men
to re-polish the back bumper. I could not see a mark on it, but
he wanted it redone. Now I was VERY impressed!
I happily parted with my money and drove away thinking that
I really had to tell people about this car wash.
Don’t ask your customers, either internal or external, if they are
satisfied. That is not enough. Ask them if they would recommend
you, and hope you get a response like ‘definitely’, ‘without
hesitation’, ‘absolutely’.
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If you don’t get that response, what do you need to do differ-

ently?
Remember, it is the customer’s perception that counts. There
may not have been a speck of dirt on my car bumper, but that
little act had a big impact on my perception.
23 Preparing a good meeting

Most of the time we get invited to meetings with people
saying...”We need a meeting to discuss...”.
Discussion is an activity, not an outcome; and this means that
most people are framing their meetings with an activity focus
versus an outcomes focus. Could this be why most meetings fail?
You really only have three outcomes for a meeting:
1. An agreed decision
2. An agreed action
3. Everyone with the same understanding to take consistent
action
If more people framed their meetings with an outcomes focus
(using one of the above outcomes), do you think we would have
more productive & successful meetings?
This week, why not frame your meetings in an outcomes focus,
and describe the purpose of your meetings in terms of what you
want to ACHIEVE, versus what you want to discuss.
24 Your reputation for confidence

Confidence is an interesting concept. You can have confidence in
yourself, or others can have confidence in you. From the inside
it manifests as self-belief and from the outside as support, trust
and a mandate to continue.
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When one element is weakened it affects both. When your

self-belief reduces, it will be clear to others that you are not
fully confident, thus reducing their confidence in you. Equally,
if you lose external support, it will have an effect on your inner
confidence.
So in order to bolster your own inner confidence, do things
that help others have confidence in you. Not only do them, but
ensure that what you achieve is visible to others.
Think of someone who you have confidence in. Why them?
They will be visibly demonstrating that they are worthy of
your trust and belief.
Remember, invisible miracles don’t impress anybody. Others
think of you in terms of what they know or notice about you.
This is your personal brand. What do you want it to be? Do you
want others to be confident in you?
25 People like you more when you

talk solutions
Do you habitually talk about problems, or talk about solutions?
Problem talk includes descriptions of what the problems are,
analysis of where they came from, elaboration of the effects
they are having, how people feel about them, and speculation
about what they are leading to. It is any talk that puts the focus
on the problem.
Whereas solutions talk is about what is wanted: it includes
descriptions of how matters will be when they are the way
people want them to be; it also includes talk of resources,
strengths and skills, of successful examples and of actions that
will help get to the desired state of affairs.
Notice when you do one or the other.
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Notice how people react to each.

Notice what happens to the problem, and how you feel about it.
People who talk about solutions are usually nicer to be around.
They typically have an upbeat and positive outlook on life,
and we all gravitate to that more than we will ever gravitate to
someone who is just talking about what is wrong.
26 How to decide by tossing a coin

Ever been stuck and unable to make a decision between two
courses of action?
Logic would have us believe that there is some logical decision
making process that will enable us to actually make the decision.
That may be so, but if you knew what it was, you wouldn’t
be stuck!
So toss a coin.
While it is in the air, you may get a thought as to which way
up you want the coin to land. Now you know which answer
your intuition wants.
Or as you catch the coin and see which side is displayed, do
you feel a sense of dread thinking “oh no!”, or breathe a sigh of
relief? Either way, you now know what your intuition wants.
Of course, you still have some more work to do to pull together
the evidence that supports and confirms your intuitive decision,
especially if you need to get buy-in from colleagues.
27 Cat and dog thinking styles -

which are you?
An amusing and memorable metaphor to help clarify two
basic types of human behavioural programming is Cats versus
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Dogs. Oddly enough, the natural characteristics of these two

household pets can be both a descriptive and an accurate way
of illustrating human behaviour.
Think about the classic stereotypes of a typical household cat and
dog. The cat behaves as if he owns the house and everyone is there
to serve him. The dog acts as the loyal servant of his master. The
cat is very independent and aloof, and does exactly what he wants.
The dog is overly friendly, dependent and gregarious, and does
whatever he is told. You can’t teach a cat, punish him or reward
him - he just ignores you and carries on doing what he wants. A dog
can be taught lots of tricks and he overreacts to both punishment
and rewards. Cats tend to be very still and serene. Dogs tend to be
either in constant movement or sleeping at their master’s feet in
total adoration. Fights between the two are usually won by cats.
Dogs both fear and provoke cats. Cats ignore the existence of dogs.
Translating this into more human terms, it is important to
remember that each person always has both cat and dog capa-
bilities. There is no value judgement implied. It is not better to
be either cat or dog. In fact, a truly charismatic leader has usually
mastered such a blend of both that it is almost impossible to
establish which one is their preference. So, the best objective
to aim for is to be able to shift your behaviour from cat to dog,
or vice versa, according to what the situation requires and the
ultimate result you wish to obtain.
28 Ever been certain of something,

and wrong?
Have you ever been really certain of something, only later to
find out you were wrong? Have you ever dismissed an idea as
utter rubbish only to find out later it has some validity?
I know that I have. We have all had these experiences, but what
can we learn from this that might change how we react when
considering a new idea?
19
Perhaps next time you are presented with a new idea from a
colleague, or someone in your team, or from something you read,
you give the idea some wiggle room rather than immediately
condemning or approving it. Maybe it is valid, maybe it isn’t,
but be curious, especially if it is something they have thought
through and you think it is wrong. How did they get to a
different conclusion?
In the words of Chester Barnard, “It is what we think we know
that keeps us from learning.”
The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is our
illusion of knowledge and our desire for certainty. So develop
a mindset that includes things like curiosity, respect, courage
and empathy.
29 Committing to goals
One of the key factors to getting a goal is commitment.
If you want your goal, you first have to decide to go for it. This
decision is crucial. People, and the world at large, will sense
if you have not made the decision, have not truly committed.
If you are not committed to your goal, why would anyone want
to help? Who wants to waste their time on somebody who is
not committed?
On the other hand, if people sense total certainty within you,
they are more likely to pitch in and lend a hand.
30 The truth for all smartphone

addicts
What does using your smartphone or other email device in
meetings say about you?
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1. You think the next email is going to be more important than

the conversation everyone is having in this meeting. If so,
why are you at the meeting?
(Others might consider it rude and arrogant that your emails
are more important than the meeting)
2. You don’t trust your people, and feel that you must be con-
nected every minute to make sure that things are done right.
(Others are thinking that you are micro-managing your people
and not really a good manager or leader)
3. You feel that it makes you look important and indispensable.
It is a prop to your self-worth to be seen to be needed.
(Others can see through this posturing and may be quite
amused by it)
4. Or you are simply addicted to the rush of excitement when
a new email arrives.
(Others might find that quite sad)
Before using your smartphone in your next meeting, think about
why, and think about why not.
And if you really do need to receive a vital email, apologise
as the meeting starts and explain why you need your beloved
smartphone turned on.
31 Who makes you feel?

This weather is so annoying...
The slow traffic makes me really frustrated...
Sally makes me feel guilty when she does that...
The way John behaves makes me so angry...
And yet someone else may welcome the same weather, may
be quite calm in the same traffic jam and think that what Sally
does is cute.
21
Events outside of us are neutral. Neither good nor bad; until

we label them. Each of us applies our own labels based on our
previous experience, and then based on those labels, we create
thoughts about the event, and then based on those thoughts, we
generate feelings. The feelings create more thoughts which can
generate stronger feelings; round and round it goes.
And this happens so fast we don’t even realise it happens like
that.
Next time you catch yourself saying ‘X makes me feel Y’, realise
that this is not really true. At some level you are choosing to
feel ‘Y’ as a result of observing ‘X’.
Become aware that you are generating your feelings, not the
external event.
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
William Shakespeare, Hamlet
32 How to get your ducks in a row

I have been working on a project recently and suddenly realised
that I was making a classic mistake. I was waiting until I had
everything “ready” before starting.
When you see a mother duck waddling along purposefully, the
ducklings are often lined up behind her. Stop for a moment and
think how this happens. Does the mother duck stop at the side
of the road and wait until her ducklings are obediently lined
up before proceeding to cross the road?
No. The mother duck just starts crossing the road and only then
do the ducklings scurry into place behind her.
Often, you will need to set out to achieve a goal without any
clear idea of how it will be done. If you wait for your ducks to
line up, you will never get started.
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“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole
staircase just to take the first step.” Dr Martin Luther King Jnr
33 We need a strategy to fix this

“We need a strategy to fix this” - But what is a strategy anyway?
I notice that many people get confused between strategy and
planning. Given an objective, and asked to figure out how to
make it happen, they immediately launch into planning, which
means they missed a crucial step.
The full process is (in simple terms) ...
1. Vision/mission
2. Objective
3. Strategy
4. Planning
5. Budget
6. Implementation.
Actually, you cannot plan without a strategy, so they didn’t
miss it out. They just assumed one, almost unconsciously, and
are busy planning so they can implement that strategy without
examining it for best fit to the situation. And others around them
may have made different strategic assumptions, so they will be
trying to do things differently, even though they are working
towards the same objective. Sound familiar?
Think of an objective you want, then focus on splitting strategy
and planning so you understand the difference. An explicit
strategy is critical input to effective implementation.
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34 Your blind spots uncovered

Some of the most important growth areas for our personal
development are not easily visible to us. We look at ourselves
through our own set of filters and beliefs which gives us blind
spots where it matters most that we can see.
Others see us differently, so ask a trusted friend for honest
feedback on what you do well and what could be improved.
You will be pleasantly surprised at how well they think of you,
and you will always uncover at least one area for growth you
couldn’t see for yourself.
What you do with this priceless information is up to you :-)
35 Correcting poor performance

checklist
I heard this in a movie I saw recently...
“Wars are won one battle at a time. Battles are won one bullet
at a time.”
I wondered about this...
And then yesterday a guy I am working with on a project made
some mistakes. He did know how to do it well, so this was
simple lack of attention. He wasn’t thinking about each bullet.
That has cost me two hours of extra work, and also cost him
extra work to put it right. It reminds me of a quote. “Never time
to do it right, but always time to do it again.”
Often getting the detail right can make or break getting the job
right. If this is the case and someone says “I don’t do detail”,
are they in the right job?
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36 Thinking about stakeholders

changes things
Who are your stakeholders?
Anything you do has stakeholders. Stakeholders are people who
are affected by what you do, and therefore have an interest in it.
They have an interest in what you do, how well you do it, when
you do it, and if you care about them while you do it.
So who are your stakeholders and do you care about them?
Think about something you are about to do and make a mental
note of who it will affect and how it will affect them. In some
cases, you may be the only stakeholder, but usually there will
be many; colleagues, family, friends, customers, the public, and
perhaps even the planet.
Notice as you think about the consequences for stakeholders,
your attitude to the task changes, and you may even decide to
do it a little differently.
37 How to do more in less time

Personal productivity is more about rhythm than perpetual
motion.
Our efficiency goes in cycles during the day. Our abilities change
during the day.
When are you most creative?
When can you handle numbers most easily?
When are you best for physical work?
When are you best negotiating or meeting people?
When can you most easily catch up with a backlog of emails?
Manage your schedule to play to the strengths within your
natural rhythms.
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38 What if you don’t have the Talking

Stick?
I was reminded this week of the Talking Stick that was used by
North American tribes to confirm the person who had the right
to speak. What is interesting to me, is that by implication, it also
confirmed the role of everyone else as listeners.
In many ways, those who were not holding the stick had a
greater responsibility.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they
listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen Covey.
So how do you listen?
Do you listen with the desire to get hold of the Talking Stick
as soon as you can?
39 Who are you when you are not

there?
The other day I overheard some people speaking about me. I
was both surprised and grateful for what they had to say.
A few days later I spoke with some colleagues about someone
we had just met, and we were deciding whether to do business
with him. The outcome was that we will not be dealing with him
in the future. This was much more because of our impression
of him as a person rather than the offer on the table.
“Your brand is what people say about you when you’re not in
the room” Jeff Bezos, Founder of Amazon
What impression do you leave by how you act, what you say,
and what can be found online about you?
You really DO need to know who you are when you are not there.
26
You see, people don’t interact with you. They interact with
their perception of you. They interact with what they see as
your personal brand, even when you are right in front of them.
Think about what that means to you, and to them, and to your
relationships.
40 All I can do now, is all I can do now

Acceptance of an overfull to-do list is the first step in handling it.
Railing against it won’t help, and just leads to feeling bad about
life, and about the circumstances and people who you think put
all that stuff on your list.
So take a deep breath, and relax into being OK with your to-do
list, as it is now, and as it will be.
The next step is to realise that it is not a time management
issue. It never was.
People are always talking about time management, but the
true measurement of our effectiveness is our achievement
management. Effectiveness is not about getting more done...
it’s about achieving more with less effort.
Focus on managing what you achieve with your time, versus
what you do with your time.
Now read that last line again, and think about what it means
to you.
41 Is your fire still alive?

Remember your very first day at work? You were probably
excited. You wanted to succeed.
Are you still excited about work today?
27
If not, and that applies to most of us, what happened?

Was the disengagement gradual, or the result of a specific event?
If you subsequently became re-engaged, if the fire came back
and your work was once again meaningful and valuable, what
caused that?
Ask your friends these questions; ask your peers and the people
on your team. What pattern are you seeing?
42 Your emotional fingerprint

People talk about you behind your back.
What do they say?
When you pick up a glass, you leave a mark - a fingerprint.
When you meet people, you leave an emotional fingerprint.
What’s your emotional fingerprint?
What does that get people talking about when you are not there?
People usually say nicer things about us than we say to
ourselves. We are often our own harshest critic. It helps to
understand how others perceive us so we can update our view
of ourselves because our view of ourselves has such a massive
impact on what we think we can do, and can succeed at.
So ask for feedback on how people perceive you, and the way
they feel after encountering your emotional fingerprint.
43 The gift of your presence

What does it feel like when you are speaking on the phone and
you can hear the other person on their keyboard?
What does it feel like when you are meeting with someone and
they seem more interested in their texts or paperwork than you?
28
Don’t be ‘absent’ when you are interacting with someone. Be

present. Give them the gift of your focussed attention.
Notice the difference this makes to you, to the quality of the
interaction, and the response you get.
Score yourself after each interaction on how present you were
for someone.
44 The secret to changing your life

Do you want to change something in your life, in your work,
in your relationships; your health, weight, happiness, job,
confidence...?
Here’s the secret.
You can change your life only to the extent that you can tolerate
a little discomfort.
That’s all. And it is that simple.
As soon as we start to try and change something, we feel
uncomfortable because it is different. Because it is food we
are not used to, because it is exercise we haven’t done before,
because [ ........ ]. You fill in the blank.
How will you ever change if you can’t tolerate a little discomfort?
I am not talking excruciating self-torture, just the taste of a food
you don’t like, or a few sore muscles from exercise you are not
used to, or taking the time to really listen to a boring colleague.
Think about how you avoid discomfort, and in doing so sabotage
any attempts you make to change.
How bad does it have to get before you start to tolerate some
discomfort and start to change?
29
45 Did you earn your pay today?

Don’t confuse effort with results. Just because someone’s car is
in the car park the longest, does not mean they are producing
the best results.
And this also applies to you.
So you had a long day at work today? Sorry; that doesn’t count.
What did you actually achieve? That counts.
Unless you are being paid to be available in case something
happens, the reason you are being paid is to produce results,
to get things done.
Get in the habit of noticing what you actually did today rather
than how long it took; and whether what you did was important
and worth doing, both for you and your employer.
How do you measure up? Did you earn your pay today?
If you didn’t, how did you waste your time?
Tough question isn’t it!
46 Stop other people ruling your life

Most of us have a tendency to do what is most urgent rather
than to prioritise.
The problem is that when we are doing what is urgent it is often
because it is urgent for somebody else, not us. In effect we are
giving someone else the right to direct our day, our week, and
even our life.
When we look at our to-do list (you do have one don’t you :-),
and set our own priorities, we are taking control of our day, our
week, and ultimately our life.
30
So look at your list and decide on priorities instead of automat-

ically doing that urgent job for someone else who is shouting
the loudest.
47 What to do when you don’t know

what to do
We all get stuck sometimes.
We can’t make progress because something is stopping us; some
barrier is in the way. That barrier is big enough in our mind that
it stops us taking action.
It is only big because we are looking at the whole barrier, and
we don’t know what to do to deal with the whole thing.
First, get some clarity on what the barrier is.
Lack of information?
Lack of motivation?
Lack of tools or resources?
Lack of time?
Indecision?
Or something else?
As you do this, notice how you ‘see’ the barrier in your mind’s
eye. It may also have a sound or a feeling associated with it.
Whatever it is like in your mind’s eye, move it; left, right,
up, down or further away, and notice how it changes in your
perception, because it will change. It’s kind of fascinating how
that happens :-)
As you get clarity on the barrier, you will think of things you
could do, or a step you could take. So take the step, whether
you think it will help or not. You will generate movement, learn
something new and see the barrier from a new perspective.
Then take another step.
31
“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole
staircase, just take the first step.” - Martin Luther King Jr.
48 You spent how much?

Imagine what would happen if in every meeting there was a
digital counter ticking over the financial cost of the meeting.
And I mean the fully loaded cost of all the salaries in the room
plus the overheads, plus the opportunity cost of everybody
doing something else.
What did that meeting to determine the colour of the carpet
just cost?
What!
What do you think the last meeting you attended cost the
organisation?
What was the result?
Worth the cost?
The next time you are invited to a meeting, or you decide to hold
a meeting, think about the cost versus the outcome.
Is the meeting really necessary, or could the outcome be achieved
another and more cost effective way?
49 Are you dependable?

Dependability is often the top quality that people look for in
the business world.
Think of your own reaction when other people
.. Don’t do what they say they are going to do
.. Don’t turn up on time
.. Don’t respond to voice mails or email in reasonable time
32
.. Don’t keep organised, so their response to you is dis-

organised
.. Don’t take responsibility for what they say and do
.. Don’t follow-up
Do you like it when people do that to you?
Who would you prefer to work with or do business with?
We all prefer dependable people, so looking at the list above,
how can you become more dependable?
50 The 5 ‘S’s to get your idea accepted

How many times a day do you need to convince someone else
that what you want to do, or how you want to do it, is a good
idea?
Here is a simple structure for making a logical and persuasive
case...
1. Situation. ‘this is how things are’
2. Sucks. ‘because of the situation, bad things are happening,
or will happen’
3. Solutions. ‘here are some possible options to prevent the
bad things’
4. Suggest. ‘I recommend this option because...’
5. Sale. ‘therefore, call to action’
I used the word ‘Sale’ to remind us that this is a sales process.
We are all salespeople.
And also the word Sale starts with ‘S’ :-)
33
Subscribe to receive
Paul’s Weekly Tip
If you’ve enjoyed the tips in this booklet and would like to
receive one of Paul’s practical Monday Tips delivered into
your inbox every week, then please subscribe at
www.peoplealchemy.co.uk/free-stuff/tips/pauls-
monday-tips
You can also find lots more tips on the People Alchemy blog.
www.peoplealchemy.co.uk/blog
Contact us
T: 01908 325 167 (UK)
E: [email protected]
W: www.peoplealchemy.com
twitter.com/peoplealchemy
linkedin.com/company/people-alchemy
Or see the back cover for your local agent.
34
About Paul Matthews

After a distinguished management career in industries as diverse
as engineering, travel and information technology, Paul Matthews
decided to set up his own management development company
in 1999.
Paul makes ideas come alive with stories, practical tools
and tips everyone can understand. This has led to two bestsell-
ing books and speaking appearances worldwide.
About People Alchemy

Paul Matthews founded People Alchemy Ltd in 1999. From those
early days when Paul was working on his own as a consultant,
the company has grown and now provides online learning
pathways, performance support solutions and thought leadership
to many organisations. The core of what we do is about enabling
capability in the workplace. It is all about ensuring that people
can do the job that is in front of them, when they need to do it.
We achieve this through innovative tools and technology but also
our tailored, one-to-one consultancy.
We have worked with such clients as Argos, Heineken, GSK,
MoD, Google, Santander, Virgin Media as well as many Police
Forces and Universities.
For further information visit www.peoplealchemy.co.uk.
35
What people say about

Paul’s Monday Tips
“I have LOVED your emails this year! Thank you so much! They are
SO useful, practical and inspirational!
Thank you for making a difference in so many others’ lives!”
Tammie
“I really value the weekly, and especially Monday morning, thoughts and
practical suggestions. It is the one email I look forward to in the inbox.”
Sharon
“Thank you very much Paul for your weekly mailouts. They’ve been
very insightful and helpful throughout the year…”
Kind regards,
Adri
“Many thanks for the valuable, year-long, ‘keeping feet on ground and
seeing through the clouds’ comments – much appreciated in what has
been a very difficult year in many ways.”
Liz
“Your little bite-sized emails bring (common sense) pleasure to me
throughout the year.”
Regards
Hilary
“I just wanted to feedback to you how useful I find the emails from
Alchemy. … I seem to be on lots of best practice/information sharing
network lists and your messages are the only ones that I always look
forward to reading. They frequently prompt me to act and address tricky
issues. I like how they are clearly written and presented and how they
often hit the nail right on the head.”
Thanks and best wishes,
Lisa
36
Personal effectiveness guide to make your job easier
In this booklet, performance

management expert Paul
Matthews has gathered
50 of his best Monday tips.
These weekly tips provide an
idea to focus on during the
week to improve efficiency
at work.
Inside this booklet, you’ll discover:
• How to be a rock with ears
• How to win an argument
• Seven catchy email subject lines that work
• How to use 'why' power, not 'will' power
• How to prepare a good meeting
• How to do more in less time
• The secret to changing your life
• And lots more!
People Alchemy Ltd

01908 325 167
www.peoplealchemy.co.uk

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What are some tips provided for managing stress?

50

Personal effectiveness guide

© 2015 Paul Matthews

1 Did today really matter?

2 Be a rock with ears

3 You know it’s going to hurt

4 See it from their perspective

5 How to win an argument

6 People do like change. Really?

7 How do they like it?

8 Who wins, you or your calendar?

If someone looked at how you spend your time, what would

9 Who is going to get what you want?

10 Seven catchy email subject lines

11 Grab a coat hanger and try this!

So to manage stress, you need to reduce the applied force, the

12 Does this surprise you as well as

13 What is the one thing you

Successful people take the time to reflect on what they should

15 Use ‘why’ power, not ‘will’ power

Think of a change you want to make.

16 Testing Your Listening

17 Professional image on the phone

19 Why criticism hurts

actions. It is designed to help and support, and focuses on how

20 What can undermine your

22 A carwash experience...

If you don’t get that response, what do you need to do differ-

23 Preparing a good meeting

24 Your reputation for confidence

When one element is weakened it affects both. When your

25 People like you more when you

Notice how people react to each.

26 How to decide by tossing a coin

27 Cat and dog thinking styles -

Dogs. Oddly enough, the natural characteristics of these two

28 Ever been certain of something,

30 The truth for all smartphone

1. You think the next email is going to be more important than

31 Who makes you feel?

Events outside of us are neutral. Neither good nor bad; until

32 How to get your ducks in a row

33 We need a strategy to fix this

34 Your blind spots uncovered

35 Correcting poor performance

36 Thinking about stakeholders

37 How to do more in less time

38 What if you don’t have the Talking

39 Who are you when you are not

40 All I can do now, is all I can do now

41 Is your fire still alive?

If not, and that applies to most of us, what happened?

42 Your emotional fingerprint

43 The gift of your presence

Don’t be ‘absent’ when you are interacting with someone. Be

44 The secret to changing your life

10 Seven catchy email subject lines

11 Grab a coat hanger and try this!

12 Does this surprise you as well as

13 What is the one thing you

15 Use ‘why’ power, not ‘will’ power

16 Testing Your Listening

17 Professional image on the phone

19 Why criticism hurts

20 What can undermine your

22 A carwash experience...

23 Preparing a good meeting

24 Your reputation for confidence

25 People like you more when you

26 How to decide by tossing a coin

27 Cat and dog thinking styles -

28 Ever been certain of something,

30 The truth for all smartphone

31 Who makes you feel?

32 How to get your ducks in a row

33 We need a strategy to fix this

34 Your blind spots uncovered

35 Correcting poor performance

36 Thinking about stakeholders

37 How to do more in less time

38 What if you don’t have the Talking

39 Who are you when you are not

40 All I can do now, is all I can do now

41 Is your fire still alive?

42 Your emotional fingerprint

43 The gift of your presence

44 The secret to changing your life

45 Did you earn your pay today?

46 Stop other people ruling your life

47 What to do when you don’t know

48 You spent how much?

49 Are you dependable?

50 The 5 ‘S’s to get your idea accepted