GC Women’s Ministries Leadership Certification Program

PRINCIPLES OF COUNSELLING HANDOUT

Introduction

Counseling is a process, as well as a relationship, between persons. Contrary to

what some people believe, counseling is not concentrated advice-giving. The
aim of the counselor is usually to assist the person or persons (client or clients) to
realize a change in behavior or attitude, or to seek achievement of goals.
Often there are varieties of problems for which the counselee may seek to find
help.

Some forms of counseling include the teaching of social skills, effective

communication, spiritual guidance, decision-making and career choices.
Counseling may sometimes be needed to aid one in coping with a crisis. Other
types of counseling include premarital and marital counseling; grief and loss
(divorce, death or amputation); domestic violence and other types of abuse;
special counseling situations like terminal illness (death and dying); as well as
counseling of emotionally and mentally disturbed individuals. Counseling could
be short-term (brief counseling) or long-term.

THE SETTING

• Extremely important to have privacy

• A feeling of emotional and physical safety is necessary
• Simplicity is acceptable but comfort is necessary
• Arrange chairs so client can choose their seat
• Present a calm, pleasant, and prepared appearance

BASIC COUNSELING APPROACHES

• ___________________ Therapy
• ______________ Therapy
• _____________ Therapy
• ____________________ Therapy
• ____________ Therapy
• _____________________ Analysis
• ____________________ Therapy
• ___________________________ Therapy
• _________________ Therapy

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Psychoanalytic Therapy

• Originated by Sigmund Freud

• Belief that behavior is influenced by unconscious motives and conflicts
• Stresses the importance of early development

Alderian Therapy

• Alfred Adler disagreed with Freud’s theories

• Like Freud, Adler believed that the first six years influenced ones life
• Human motivated by social urges

Existential Therapy

• This view leads us to reflect and decide

• This view focuses on the nature of the human condition
• Each person’s personality is seen as unique
• One’s sense of self develops from infancy

Person-centered Therapy

• Original founder was Carl Rogers

• Emphasized how people get, share, or surrender power and control over
themselves and others
• Developed non-directive counseling
• Basic techniques – active listening, reflection of feelings, clarification, and
“being there” for the counselee

Gestalt Therapy

• Frederick S. Perls originated this theory

• Stresses that people must find their own way in life and accept personal
responsibility
• Much focus on dealing with unfinished business from the past
• Emphasis on doing and experiencing

Transactional Analysis (TA)

• Theory founded by Eric Berne

• Focuses on decisions and contracts made by client
• Basic philosophy is that the client has the potential for choice
• Key words – game, decision, life script, re-decision, stroke, discounting

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Behavior Therapy

• Most studied and most familiar of all counseling approaches

• Frequently used terms – behavior modification, behavior therapy
• Therapist functions as teacher or trainer

Rational Emotive Therapy

• Albert Ellis is the founder

• Based on the assumptions that humans are born with potential for both
rational and irrational thinking
• Emphasizes thinking, judging, deciding, and doing
• Belief that people have the ability to change their behavior

Reality Therapy

• Founded by William Glasser

• Focuses on the present and the person’s strengths
• Assumes that we choose our behavior and are responsible for our
behavior, thoughts, and feelings
• Use of contracts to cause change in behavior

THE CLIENT

Strategies for dealing with the reluctant client:

• Refuse to consider yourself the target of the reluctance

• Show confidence and do not be intimidated
• Do not ignore the feelings of a client
• Try to interpret the reasons for the reluctance and use these as an
opportunity for teaching the client greater self-understanding.
• Show the client that counseling helps one to deal with feelings even if
they are uncomfortable.
• Patient exploration of the client’s behavior can help reduce the
reluctance.
• Go straight to work on eliminating barriers.

Profile of a Counselor

• Have an identity
• Appreciate the worth God has placed on you
• Be open to change
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• Develop your own counseling style

• Be open, sincere, and honest
• Develop your sense of humor
• Be sensitive to people’s culture
• Be an optimist
• Enjoy life
• Have a caring spirit
• Have a reputation for confidentiality
• Be sensitive to human relationships
• Have an objective attitude
• Do not display a passion to reform everyone
• Be natural
• Show confidence in people and in their potential for growth
• Be a listener
• Observe boundaries
• Keep God as your Guide

Types of Counseling

Supportive Counseling is most often used with people who have difficulty
standing alone amid their problems. In supportive counseling, the goal is not to
create a chronic dependency upon the counselor, but to give temporary
support and help the person to gain strength and the resources to cope.

Confrontational Counseling seeks to point out to the client his or her actions. The
counselor guides the counselee into seeing what misdeeds were committed
and to realize the hurt that might have been caused to others. The idea is that
hiding one’s immoral actions only creates guilt, frustration, and anxiety. As a
Christian, the counselor must help the client to confess, forsake his/her sins and
accept the forgiveness of a loving Savior.

Educative Counseling focuses on teaching the client. Undesirable learned

behavior may have to be unlearned. The counselor in this case is a teacher.
People may come to the counselor with questions on social issues, religious
issues, or even career problems. Often some clients may need help in making
certain critical decisions.

Preventive Counseling is used to stop problems before they start or to prevent

things from getting worse. Areas like “How to Keep Healthy,” “How to Prepare
for Retirement,” or sessions in premarital counseling are examples of preventive
counseling.

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Spiritual Counseling is a great necessity, and the Christian often seeks the
opportunity to show persons the way to Christ. Sometimes there will be persons
who want to find spiritual answers. People may be seeking for a purpose in life.
This is a chance for the Christian counselor to lead them to the Bible and to pray
with them. Sometimes, through spiritual counseling the counselor may discover
that the client also has some psychological issues that need to be dealt with.

Depth Counseling is a long-term relationship in which deep-seated problems of

the counselee are uncovered and dealt with in detail. The counseling process is
extended and demands the skills of a counseling professional. This type of
counseling is not for the layperson. Do not play around with depth counseling if
you are not a professional therapist!

Informal Counseling takes place in a casual setting. Perhaps on a hospital visit,

or during an informal home visit, the counselor may be drawn into a
conversation where their help might be asked for. Or you may meet a friend on
the street and ask, “How are you today?” Then you may be told of a problem
that he or she is experiencing. Your time and concern could be of help at that
time. Informal counseling may not seem very important, but it has helped many.

Counseling Plan of Action

1. Define the problem

a. Respect for the client.
b. Genuiness in our dealings.
c. Empathy shows an understanding of our client’s feelings.
d. Concreteness is the art of keeping the client on the problem.

2. Establish goals
a. Advanced empathy helps the client to go deeper into their feelings
b. Self-disclosure in which you let the client see you as a human being
with problems and struggles.
c. Confrontation is the skill of being able to challenge attitudes, behaviors,
and the beliefs of the client.
d. Immediacy is the ability to focus on the here and now.

3. Behavior Change
a. Identify the circumstances in which the undesirable habits occur.
b. Control those circumstances by avoiding or eliminating factors that
reinforce the behavior.
c. Substitute desirable behaviors in place of the undesirable ones.

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ETHICAL ISSUES IN COUNSELING

• It is of utmost importance that a counselor pays strict attention to ethics in

counseling
• Ethics refer to good and bad practices in counseling

The Rights of the Client

• Right of informed consent

• Rights of minors
• Right of referral
• Duty to warn and protect

SOCIAL AND PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH CLIENTS

• How can a counselor balance a friendship with a therapeutic relationship?

• Referred to as “dual relationships”
• Beware of exploitation

TOUCHING A CLIENT

Here are some suggested guidelines for using touching:

• In cases of counseling socially and emotionally immature clients

• In counseling people in crisis e.g. grief or trauma
• In giving general emotional support
• In greeting or at the end of a session

WHAT ABOUT SUICIDAL CLIENTS?

Signs of Suicide

• Giving away prized possessions

• Making and discussing suicide plans
• Previous suicide attempts or gestures
• Expressions of hopelessness and helplessness
• Statements that family and friends would not miss them
• Sudden positive behavior change following a period of depression

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What to do if a client threatens suicide:

• Disarm the client and remove all weapons or poisonous substances.
• Recommend a frequency of counseling sessions.
• Arrange a method for the client to call you frequently between sessions so
that his or her emotional state can be monitored.
• Urge the client to seek medical help and hospitalization.
• Do not underestimate the power of prayer.

CONFIDENTIALITY

Circumstances for breaking confidentiality:

• When clients pose a danger to themselves
• When the therapist believes that a client under the age of 16 has been
the victim of rape, incest, child abuse, or some other crime
• When the counselor determines that the client needs hospitalization
• When information is made an issue in a court case

COUNSELING STEP-BY-STEP

Now that we have outlined some technical information, let us review some of
what we have studied:

1. Pray daily for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

2. Secure a room that is neat and comfortable.
3. Pay attention to the furniture, lighting, and privacy.
4. Have a system to record information about the client (name, sex, address,
telephone number, email address, date of birth, marital status,
occupation etc.). This gives a bit of a background and makes it easy for
you to contact the client if you need to.
5. At the beginning of the session, greet the counselee in a friendly manner.
Do not be over friendly or bubbly. Be natural and professional. Keep
your professional stance throughout the sessions.
6. Introduce the counseling session with a few general questions like, “How
are you today?” “Did you have difficulty finding my place?” You may
also say something like, “So, what brings you here today?” Master the art
of asking open-ended questions during the sessions. (Instead of asking
“Do you think that was a fair statement?” Ask, “What were your feelings
about that statement your husband made?”)
7. Affirm the client and put him or her at ease by remarking, “I would like to
congratulate you for deciding to come so that we could work on your
situation.”
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8. Share your confidentiality rules with the client. “I assure you that our
counseling relationship would be very confidential. I will not share
anything you tell me unless it involves hurting yourself or another, or if the
information you give is required by law for me to reveal.” (The
information is listed in a previous section, explaining what cannot be kept
confidential).
9. Inform the client of what he or she could expect from you (including the
right to refer).
10. Do not be afraid to state that your approach is Bible-based.
11. Listen to the problem carefully before coming to any conclusions.
12. Be careful not to take sides. Instant blaming or endorsing clouds
objectivity.
13. Show a deep interest in what the client is saying and ask questions for
clarification.
14. Try to identify the problem. Three basic questions in counseling are the
following: “What is going on?” “How do you feel about it?” “Do you
want to change?”
15. Ask questions like “How does that make you feel?” “What would you like
us to accomplish here?” It is a good idea to encourage the client to set
some goals. Avoid advice giving. You are merely to help the clients
arrive at the decisions regarding the actions they should take.
16. Avoid sounding judgmental in your approach.
17. Listen, listen, listen.
18. If the client is silent after you ask him or her a question, do not become
impatient. Wait patiently until the client answers. Silence is okay.
19. Do not become uncomfortable if your client cries. It is okay. You need to
try to control your emotions, however.
20. Observe ethical standards at all times. Inappropriate touching, sexual
suggestions or anything that is suggestive is wrong. A hands-off policy,
especially with clients of the opposite sex, is required. (Study once more
the section on ethics and sexual contact).
21. Refer if you notice that you cannot handle the situation. Do not attempt
to deal with problems that require depth counseling. (Study once more
the section that explains this).
22. Always remember that you are not God. There are some problems that
only God can fix. Teach the client to turn over the situation to God
(James 1:5).
23. Keep the Bible handy for any texts you may need as resources. Point the
client to Jesus, the Wonderful Counselor (Isa. 9:6). (See Appendix II for
some Bible references).
24. Pray in your heart throughout the session.
25. Inspire a sense of hope in the client. (Psa. 31:24; Deut.31:8, Luke 5:20,24;
Joel 2:25; Isa. 44:22).
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26. Pray with the client at the end.

Conclusion

• Christian counseling is a ministry

• Christian counselors are unique
• Christian counselors see their client as a soul to be saved

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