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How to Solve Daily Life Problems

Everyone has problems in life. For the most part, we are able to quickly solve
them without much trouble. We either come up with a quick solution or use a
strategy that worked in the past. For example, if you overslept in the morning
and are going to be late for work, you might decide to call work and explain your
situation while getting dressed and ready in half the usual time.

Problems become more difficult when there is no obvious solution and strategies
that you have tried in the past don’t work. These types of problems cause a great
deal of stress and anxiety and require new and different strategies.

The Steps to Solving Daily Life Problems

STEP 1: IS THERE A P ROBLEM?

As a first step, it is important to realize that there is a problem. Because problems

can cause anxiety, many people will try to avoid, ignore or procrastinate when
dealing with difficult issues in their lives.

Unfortunately, avoiding your problems usually causes them to come back, and a
small problem can become a big problem over time. So, how can you recognize a
problem early on?

1. Make a list. Get in the habit of writing out a list of the problems in your life. It is
easier to work on a problem if you have written it down. This approach will also help
you to see how certain problems seem to come up again and again.

Hint: Write it down. When a problem causes you anxiety, it

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Hint: Write it down. When a problem causes you anxiety, it is best to use a pen and
paper and to work it out in written form. You are more likely to deal with a problem
when it is written down in front of you.

STEP 2: WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?

Before trying to solve a problem, you first need to define it. Here are some tips on
how to properly define what your problem is:

 Focus on the problem itself. Ask yourself the following questions:

o What is the situation? (e.g. my boss gives me too much work)
o What would I like the situation to be? (e.g. I would like my boss to give me less
work)
o What is the obstacle that is keeping me from my desired situation? (e.g. I’m unsure
how to talk to my boss about my work obligations)

You can then put your problem into a sentence. For example, the problem is that
my boss gives me too much work; I would like to have less work, but I’m not sure
how to ask him to reduce my workload.

 Just the facts: Be careful to avoid putting opinions or assumptions into your
definition. For example, thinking that your work problem is that “my boss is a jerk” is
an opinion. Besides, it makes the problem almost impossible to solve.
 Be specific and concrete: If you are too vague when defining your problem, it will
be difficult to know how to even begin solving it. For example, thinking that, “my
problem is my work” is not specific or concrete; what is it about your work that is a
problem? How will you even start fixing this kind of problem?

STEP 3: WHAT ARE MY GOALS FOR THIS PROBL EM?

In order to know whether you have solved your problems, it is important to know
ahead of time what a solved problem would look like. Here are some tips for setting
goals:

 Be realistic: Make sure that your goals are achievable; if they are unrealistic, you
will probably not reach them and you will feel badly. For example, with the work
problem, if your goal is to only do your work when you feel like it, you will likely not
solve your problem.
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 Be specific: If your goals are vague, you won’t know when you have reached
them. For example, if you think, “my goal is to be happy at work”, what does that
mean? Do you want to be happy all the time? How happy? When will you know
when you have reached your “happy” goal?
 Start with short-term goals: If you set goals that can be reached relatively
quickly, you are more likely to work on your problem. You can set long-term goals
too, but make sure to have short-terms goals as well so you know whether the
problem is solved. With the work problem, a long-term goal might be to get another
job while a short-term goal might be to reduce your workload.

STEP 4: THINKING UP SOLUTIONS

The biggest mistake that we tend to make when finding solutions for our problems
is to think about the same old solutions. However, if those old solutions worked, the
problem would not still be around. In order to come up with new solutions, you can
follow the rules of brainstorming:

1. Devise lots of solutions: You are more likely to come up with a good solution if
you have a lot of solutions to choose from. Try to come up with at least 10 possible
solutions to your problem.
2. Don’t judge your solutions: Remember that you aren’t choosing a solution yet,
you are just trying to think of as many options as you can; so don’t judge them.
Even silly, strange or extreme solutions are good ones at this stage. For the work
problem, you might think about solutions like “quit my job” or “organize a strike”.
Write them down! You will never come up with new solutions if you aren’t willing to
even think about silly ones.
3. Have a variety of solutions: Make sure that your solutions are different from each
other. For example, with the work problem, there is not much variety if your
solutions are to “ask the boss to have lunch with me”, “ask the boss to have coffee
with me”, or “ask the boss to come out to dinner”. Although these are 3 solutions,
they are basically all the same solution: ask the boss to do something social with
you.

REMEMBER: When it comes to difficult problems, the first idea

REMEMBER: When it comes to difficult problems, the first idea that comes to your
mind is not always the best. Take the time to come up with new possibilities.

Some other tips for thinking up lots of different solutions are:

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 Be specific: Make sure that your solutions involve specific behaviours, and not
general strategies. For example, the solution, “give the boss a list of all the work I
am doing now” is very specific, compared to the solution, “be more assertive with
my boss”. If you picked the latter solution, you would have a new problem —
figuring out how to be more assertive.
 Ask for help: If you are having a hard time coming up with new and different
solutions to your problem, ask friends, family or coworkers for advice. Other people
might have ideas that you have not even thought of.

STEP 5: DECIDING ON A SOLUTION

If you struggle with anxiety, actually picking a solution to your problem can often
seem quite difficult. However, it is important to remember that not solving a problem
can lead to more anxiety than trying to solve it, no matter how anxious you feel.
The following are some guidelines that can help you find the best solution to your
problem.

REMEMBER: The goal is to find the best solution to your problem, NOT the perfect
solution. If there was a “perfect” solution, you would have already found it.

1. Will this solution fix my problem and help me reach my goals? This guideline
might seem obvious, however, it is important to make sure that your solution will
help you reach your goals. For example, “work harder” as a solution to the work
problem will not help you reach your goal of having less work to do in a day.
2. How much time and effort does this solution involve? You can expect that any
solution will require some time and effort but the amount involved needs to be
related to your needs. “Quitting my job” as a solution to the work problem might
involve a great deal of effort, since you would have to start looking for a new job.
3. How will I feel if I pick this solution? If you think that a solution will make you feel
bad, guilty or too anxious, it might not be the best solution. For example, “lie to the
boss about how much work I actually did” might make you feel bad.
4. What are the costs and benefits of this solution to myself and others, right
now and in the long-term? The best solution will have the most benefits and the
fewest costs possible. But when thinking about costs and benefits you want to think
about how a solution will affect:
o You right now and in the future
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o Other people in your life right now and in the future

For example, if you picked the solution, “blame my coworkers for work that isn’t
done”, this might solve your problem right now, but it will probably seriously affect
your relationship with your coworkers, and in the long-run your boss will probably
find out. The costs of this solution seem to outweigh the benefits.

REMEMBER: There is no perfect solution, so when you are judging each potential
solution it is unlikely that it will meet all four criteria. That is, it probably won’t solve
the problem with no time or effort, make you feel happy while doing it, and have no
costs and only benefits. You are looking for a solution that BEST meets the criteria,
not perfectly.

STEP 6: CARRYING OUT THE SOLUTION

This is often the most difficult step because you now have to actually start carrying
out the solution you chose. Most people are afraid that they might have picked the
wrong solution, or that perhaps there is a better solution if they just think about the
problem more. This is not helpful thinking: it is better to act than to do nothing at all.

To help you carry out your solution, you can make an action plan. If you know how
you are going to carry out your solution, you are more likely to follow through.

Your plan should include all the steps that you will need to take to carry out the
solution, and it should be as specific and concrete as possible. For example, if my
solution is to “get a new job”, some of the steps involved in that solution might be:

 Make a list of the types of jobs I would like to have

 Buy a newspaper every day and check the “help wanted” ads
 Contact all the employers who advertise a job that I would like to have
 Rearrange my work schedule so I can go to interviews, if necessary

STEP 7: CHECKING IN ON YOUR PROBLEM

Now that you have carried out your solution, you need to make sure that it is
working. Sometimes the best-laid plans don’t always turn out perfectly, so it is a
good idea to have markers that let you know whether you are on the right track. For
example, with the work problem, you might use your workload as a marker for
tracking your solution. If you notice that your workload is going down, then your
solution is probably working.

What do I do if my solution isn’t working?

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Because the unexpected happens in life, sometimes even the best solutions don’t
work out well, which is unfortunate but normal. The best thing to do is to recycle
through the different steps and ask yourself the following questions:

 Did I define the problem properly?

 Were my goals realistic?
 Are there other possible solutions?
 Is there a better solution that I could have picked?
 Did I carry it out as planned?

If you work through these steps, you might find that you went wrong somewhere,
and then you can fix it and try again.

TIP: Solving the difficult problems in life is hard work, so make sure to reward
yourself afterward for a job well done.

Here is a helpful resource for more information on problem solving:

Solving Life’s Problems: A 5-Step Guide to Enhanced Well-Being by A.M.

Nezu, C.M. Nezu, and T.J. D’Zurilla. Springer Publishing.