YOUR E-LINK TO AL-ANON UK & ÉIRE

Finding a
way forward
with Al-Anon

www.al-anonuk.org.uk/members Spring 2014

1
 Suggestions
for Meeting
Topics
a. Did you ever feel it was your fault?
b. Has the problem ever made you feel ill?
c. How did Al-Anon begin?
d. Can I do more?
e. What is my most effective way forward?

CONTENTS 8. I Came to Al-Anon Family Groups at the Suggestion

of my Ex-Boyfriend, a Recovering Alcoholic.
2. Suggestions for Meeting Topics
9. Life Continues to Bring Up Problems
3. Letter from the Editor
Co-operating with AA
The Serenity Prayer
10. Al-Anon is a Spiritual Programme, –Not Religious
4. The Tools of Al-Anon: Slogans – JUST FOR
TODAY 11. I Have Learned to Understand my Mother’s
Alcoholsm
5. Why do Members Continue to Attend
Al-Anon or Alateen? 12. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE? Public Information
A MOTHER IN DENIAL– Remembers the Al-Anon is Truly a Worldwide Fellowship
three Cs 13. How Important is Al-Anon in my Life?
6. Report Of Area 6 Mini Convention 14. Publicity and PI
Sharing my Experience- Strength and Hope 15. The Three Legacies of Al-Anon
7. LETTING GO How to Start a Group
I Love my Meetings 16. Statement of Purpose &
So True The Twelve Steps

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 Letter from
THE
the Editor
SERENITY
We hope you will like the first edition of
your downloadable e-magazine, now
available on the Al-Anon Members’ Website.
PRAYER
Please let us know what you think of it.
We would welcome your contributions and
ideas by mail, email or personally, as it will be
produced quarterly with the four seasons.
Don’t wait till next week to get in touch – God grant me
DO IT NOW, BEFORE YOU FORGET! the serenity
Very best wishes to you all,
Your Editorial Committee
to accept
the things
Please submit your contributions by email to
[email protected] I cannot
or by post to The Editor at the address below
You may choose how you sign your article, but please note that your
change;
full name and contact details are required with your submission.
Your anonymity will be fully respected.

The opinions expressed in this magazine are courage to

strictly those of the persons who gave them. change the
Take what you like and leave the rest.
Please note that the photos used are models
things I can;
and not actual Al-Anon members.

GENERAL SERVICE OFFICE:

and wisdom
Al-Anon Family Groups UK and Éire to know the
57B Great Suffolk Street, London SE1 0BB
Helpline 020 7403 0888 10am. to 10pm. difference.
Admin: 020 7407 0215
E-mail: [email protected]
Website: www.al-anonuk.org.uk

For other Information Services in the UK and

Republic of Ireland please see the website.

3
 In Al-Anon, members do not give direction or advice to other members.
Instead, they share their personal experiences and stories, and invite other
members to “take what they like and leave the rest”—that is, to determine
for themselves what lesson they could apply to their own lives.

The Tools of Al-Anon: Slogans – JUST FOR TODAY

Hi. My name is Andrea, and my husband is My husband’s drinking pattern had changed
the alcoholic in my life. During the active to binge drinking, interspersed with trying
drinking years, and before I found Al-Anon, I to stop and going through awful withdrawal
lived in constant fear and panic about what symptoms, or going through a detox. Each
was happening to him. time another binge started, his behaviour
I frequently contemplated major life chang- became more and more erratic, threatening
ing decisions, such as whether I should leave and frightening. One day, he started smash-
him; not because I didn’t love my husband, ing things in the house and trying to kick the
but because I thought it might help him windows in. I was really scared and thought
hit rock bottom and start to look for help. I again about leaving him. I called an Al-Anon
couldn’t bring myself to carry it out, and then friend for support and told her my dilemma
I berated myself for my weakness and indeci- about leaving him. She said to me the most
sion. My self-esteem got lower and lower, helpful thing I could have heard. She said:
then disappeared altogether. “Remember ‘Just for Today’? Well you don’t
When I first found the rooms of Al-Anon, it need to make a decision about the future of
was so wonderful to sit in a quiet, calm place your marriage now, you just need to do what’s
surrounded by friendly people sharing their necessary today. And if that means you leave
stories. The chairs were arranged in a circle the house today and stay away for the night,
and in the centre were some simple slogans then that is what you do. You can make a
which I enjoyed looking at whilst listening: decision about tomorrow, tomorrow”.
What a relief it was to hear that! I felt like a
• Keep It Simple • Easy Does It burden was lifted from my shoulders. By ap-
• One Day at a Time • Just for Today plying such a simple slogan to my situation,
• Let Go and Let God that terrible indecision that had haunted me
• Keep an Open Mind • Think for a few years melted away. I left that day,
• First Things First • Live and Let Live and returned the next, which felt like the
• How Important Is It? right thing for me to do.
• Let It Begin with Me Today, thanks to Al-Anon, I’ve learned that
• Listen and Learn applying the slogan ‘just for today’ is a vital
At that point, they were just nice little part of my every day living. If I start to get the
phrases to look at week after week and didn’t “What If…” thoughts (such as, what if I lose
mean much to me. But an impending crisis my job, what if the dog breaks its leg and
helped me to see how helpful these slogans runs up a huge vet’s bill, what if my husband
could be. starts drinking again) I remind myself that

4
just for today everything is okay and those
things aren’t happening. I’ll deal with them
all when they occur. Why do Members Continue
_________________________________ Andrea to Attend Al-Anon or Alateen?
Dear Al-Anon members, Andrea is an Al-Anon Personal growth and well-being is an
member who lives in the UK and would be
on-going process. Al-Anon continually
happy to correspond with members who are
unable to get to meetings. If you would like offers members fresh opportunities to
to write to her about your situation, please learn about themselves and the effects
address the letter to: of someone else’s drinking. Members
Andrea, c/o The General Service Office, report that they gain new insights and
57B Great Suffolk Street, London SE1 0BB. use our programme to ”stay on track,” and
We will remove your contact details to preserve
remain positive about life.
both your anonymity and Andrea’s and will
pass your letter to her for reply.

A MOTHER IN DENIAL–Remembers the three Cs

I am the mother of an alcoholic son, who first meeting was the three Cs;
was in denial. I could not accept he was an I didn’t cause it, I couldn’t cure it and I
alcoholic – in my eyes he was just a heavy couldn’t control it. I was told to give it six
drinker like all young ones, as I perceived that meetings and that was five years ago.
alcoholics were down and outs that slept At one meeting I was talking to a fellow
rough, were dirty and unkempt. member and I mentioned the
I was gutted when the truth came alcoholic was going into rehab
out. I thought it was my fault – he and said I was putting my life on
had come from a good home with hold until he was sober. I was
a family that loved him uncondi- advised not to do that, I must
tionally. My family said it was my think of myself. As I couldn’t get
fault for spoiling him and didn’t him sober my first priority was
believe it was an illness. He was myself. From that day I started to
brought up the same as his sister do the Twelve Steps. I have had
and she didn’t have a problem. For a few slips but with the love and
years I thought that if I controlled support of my group I picked
his money and allowed him so myself up and started again and
much alcohol per day that would be the wouldn’t be the changed person I am today.
making of him. How wrong I was. When I My son has been sober for four years and I am
found Al-Anon I realised that my life was so grateful that I have Al-Anon and he has AA.
totally out of control I was a manic control I am giving back to Al-Anon through service
freak, I was enabling him not helping him. which I enjoy.
The only thing I could remember from my ________________________ Anon. Area 31

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Area 6 Mini Convention by the afternoon speakers who were all men!
9th November 2013 - Report I had a really interesting chat with an AA
member at her first Al-Anon Convention and
This was an excellent Al-Anon day which lived she wished that AA meetings could be given
up to my expectations that the atmosphere plenty of notice of these events - she was
would be relaxed as always in the company of learning so much. That could be a PI oppor-
other Al-Anon members. It was held in com- tunity for Al-Anon. I heard so much wisdom
fortable surroundings in the Christ Church in the shares from the audience, there were a
Centre in Henley-on-Thames with Al-Anon few fairly new members who seemed to gain
and AA shares in the morning and afternoon. inspiration from the general sharing and it felt
Delicious soup and rolls were served at lunch as if people could have gone on speaking all
time, and endless tea, coffee and biscuits. afternoon.
There were some very good raffle prizes do-
nated by generous members. Sadly the day had to end, but I would urge
any member who has not attended one of
I heard some lovely shares – one from an these days to get to the next one they can.
Al-Anon/AA couple which always seems to Anyone who thinks their home Group is
me to be a win/win situation in so many ways. helping them will get an even greater feeling
I was humbled by a share from a young of support from the experience, strength and
member who had only been in the pro- hope that will be in abundance.
gramme for a few months, and encouraged
Nicky T - Oxford Monday

Sharing my Experience -
Strength and Hope
4pm - walking into Queen’s Hospital, Romford, Essex and at last seeing a large banner ‘Al-Anon
Family Groups’ looking at me beside the Alcoholics Anonymous banner. It feels good, it feels
satisfying, comforting, loving, reaching an achievement by East London and Essex district and
our mini Convention Team. I just stood there and let those feelings go over me, of comfort,
support and belonging — I could have cried!
I came to visit my husband who has been here since last Friday morning as an inpatient. He
collapsed at home, I had to call an ambulance. Tests showed kidney failure, complete dehy-
dration, chest infection, pneumonia, urine infection, kidney infection. “Was this brought on by
alcohol?” I asked.
Since 1988 I attended Al-Anon family groups, working this loving program. Al-Anon principles
have seen me through years of ups and downs… alcoholism things. The Slogans and sayings
have helped and supported me and our two adult children at times of great emotional diffi-
culties. We are learning to make decisions to put the program into action, especially ‘One Day
at a Time’ and ‘Let Go and Let God’. I’m putting my husband into the God Box at this moment,
whatever the outcome of this, and myself in God’s hands.
One Day at a Time, and This Too Shall Pass.
Ever grateful Al-Anon member- Irmgard

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 LETTING GO
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it’s the realisation I can’t control another.
To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to
affect their own destinies.
To “let go” is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.
To “let go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings
and correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and
cherish myself in it.
To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To “let go” is to fear less and love more.
Author unknown

I Love my Meetings! So True!

When I was a young man, I wanted to change
I love going to my Al-Anon meetings – being the world. I found it difficult to change the
with people who understand. world, so I tried to change my nation. When
The great relief I felt when saying I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began
Step One: “We admitted we were powerless to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the
over alcohol – that our lives had become town and as an older man, I tried to change
unmanageable. “ my family.
... And Powerless over other people too! Now as an old man, I realise the only thing I
can change is myself, and suddenly I realise
On hearing these words I felt as if a great that if long ago I had changed myself, I could
yoke had been lifted from my shoulders — have made an impact on my family.
what relief. My family and I could have made an impact
= ==
on our town. Their impact could have
Treat my mind as a harbour ... changed the nation and I could indeed have
and fill it with good and positive thoughts. changed the world.
Anon Unkown Monk (1100 AD)

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 I Came to Al-Anon Family Groups at the Suggestion
of my Ex-Boyfriend, a Recovering Alcoholic.

Our relationship was rocky, and I blamed him

for it. I wanted him to change to make me
happy, but I was unsuccessful at changing
him no matter how hard I tried. His recovery
and programme were a priority in his life and
I didn’t understand it. Our relationship was
lacking some of the fundamental elements I
desperately needed.
Although I was ready to dissolve my relation-
ship with my boyfriend when I first came to
Al-Anon, I took members’ suggestion to wait
six months before making such a decision. I
was told that after a few months of recovery,
my perspective, attitude, and reactions would other Al-Anon members, I began to focus on
change and give me the tools to make a bet- myself instead of him.
ter decision. As I got better, I slowly began to discover that
I began working the Al-Anon programme. the only person who can make me happy is
During the first few months, I attended sev- me. I began to take care of myself physically,
eral meetings a week, found a Sponsor, took emotionally, and spiritually. I reconnected
service commitments within the groups, with my Higher Power.
read the literature, and kept in touch with A point came in our relationship where I
members on the phone. felt that “this is as good as it gets,” but I still
It didn’t take long for me to wanted more. Because of his alcoholism, I
recognise my part in the accepted that he simply didn’t have it to give.
dysfunctional relationship. I didn’t know what to do. I loved him and
I became aware that my needs and behaviour wanted him in my life, but was miserable. My
patterns were a result of having been deeply emotional needs weren’t met, and our life
affected by alcoholism: I was once engaged together was without a future. Furthermore,
to an active alcoholic but never recovered he completely depended on me; I knew I was
from that relationship. I also became aware enabling him, but I didn’t know how to stop
that the disease ran in my family. being the caretaker.
Slowly, my relationship with my boyfriend Realising my powerlessness, I turned the situ-
seemed to be getting better because I ation over to my Higher Power. I surrendered.
stopped trying to force my will on him. I It was the only thing I could do.
stopped reacting. It wasn’t easy, but with the It was an overwhelming feeling. I trusted
help and encouragement of my Sponsor and my Higher Power, who guided me in the

8
next few months. He helped me find a way to break my
unhealthy patterns, remain friends with my ex-boyfriend, Co-operating
with AA
and be free to move on with my life. I felt as if I was being
carried by a Power greater than myself, and I wasn’t devas-
tated as I feared I would be.
Today, my ex-boyfriend and I are still very close. Without Our Sixth Tradition
me pushing, interfering, enabling, and controlling, he Our Family Groups ought never endorse,
finance or lend our name to any outside
is able to work his own programme better, take care of enterprise, lest problems of money, property and
himself, and live his own life. We managed to keep what prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim.
was good between us and let go of the bad. For that I will Although a separate entity, we should always
co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous.
be forever grateful.
The best compliment I get is when my ex tells me how The fellowships of Al-Anon,
proud he is of me for how I work the programme. I have which includes Alateen for its
been in Al-Anon 16 months now. I attend four meetings
younger members, and AA have
a week, diligently work the Steps, read the literature daily,
a unique relationship. They were
work with my Sponsor, and keep in touch with Al-Anon
members. I also sponsor and often speak at other meet- closely allied in their origins and
ings and try to give back what Al-Anon has given me: a are naturally drawn together by
new chance on relationships. their family ties.
For the first time in my life I am in a relationship that is very Yet the Twelve Traditions
healthy. As a result of working the Steps, I was also able to emphasize that each works more
put the past behind me, forgive, and let go of old resent- effectively if it remains separate.
ments. Now my relationships with my family members are Tradition Six specifically states
the best they have ever been.
________________________________________ Tami P. New York that Al-Anon is a separate entity.
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqts., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. Therefore, in keeping with this
Tradition, there can be no
combining, joining, or uniting
Life Continues to Bring Up which would result in the loss of
Problems identity of either fellowship.
Separateness rules out affilia-
“I am a long term member of my group, and feel it is tion or merging, but it does not
important that I continue to work my programme as exclude co-operation with AA
diligently as ever. or acting together for mutual
benefit.
I still need all Twelve Steps and have
no wish to become ‘A Mrs Al-Anon’. Al-Anon acknowledges with grati-
tude the spiritual contribution of
Life continues to bring up problems so I am continuing
AA and there can continue to be
to remember that even though I am not living with active
alcoholism in my family, I must work the Twelfth Step as co-operation between Al-Anon and
hard as ever. Thank you to my Al-Anon group, which gives AA even while there are many
me so much to be thankful for, and so much help.”    Al-Anon members who have no
Anon contact with AA or AA members.

9
Al-Anon is a Spiritual Programme, –Not Religious

People of any religious belief– or none– are welcome

Reading the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon was practically the first order of business at my first
Al-Anon meeting. The Steps were introduced with the statement that they “represent a
way of life appealing to all people of goodwill, of any religious faith or none’”. Nevertheless,
the Steps talked about God quite a bit. I wasn’t comfortable with that. If God fixed every-
thing, then why was my family falling apart?
The meeting ended with the statement, “Take what you like and leave the rest’”. So
I thought I could live with that- as long as they’re serious about not forcing a religious
viewpoint onto me. Not only did they not try to force a religious viewpoint on me,
religion isn’t even discussed during meetings.
The Al-Anon programme does ask that we believe in a power greater than ourselves but
that “power” can be anything we choose.
Some people do not believe in a superior, all-knowing being and they may choose for their
group to be their Higher Power. Some people are very comforted with the thought
of Mother Nature being “in charge” of the universe.
I chose my own Higher Power and I came to believe that it wasn’t all up to me to fix
everything that was broken. I came to believe that I could and would receive some help.
Marcy R. California

I was uncomfortable in a church Al-Anon

I had a hard time with going to an Al-Anon meet- enriched
ing at a church. I am not a believer. I don’t go to
church and I didn’t want to be in that environment. my spiritual life
When I overcame my resistance and went to my Al-Anon has opened my
first Al-Anon meeting, I found that it was in a part heart to a rich and full
of the church used for social activities. I learned spiritual life that never
that the Al-Anon group pays rent to the church; ceases to amaze me.
the group uses the space at the church, but it is a
I feel connected and
separate organisation.
loved, with the freedom
It doesn’t actually have anything to do with the to have my own thoughts,
church, so the location of the meeting is no longer ideas and feelings.
an obstacle for me.
Michelle M. Kansas Gilda M. New York

Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqts., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

10

M y mother died of alcoholism when
I was a child. For many years
I didn’t know what caused her death, I Have Learned to
until my father explained it to me when
I was an adult. Understand my
Mother’s Alcoholism
much better through working the
Al-Anon programme. Through its fel-
lowship I have regained much more
confidence and trust in relationships.
Although I no longer live in an active
alcoholic environment, I continue to at-
tend the Al-Anon meetings every week,
because the common sense, kindness
and love within the programme help
me to continue to keep my life in balance.
Geraldine, Oxford.

I can remember her having fits, and ‘funny

turns’, and ambulances having been called, so
to us children it was obvious that she was ill.
Some Quotes
Other members of Al-Anon have described
shouting matches between their parents, From Our Members
physical violence and verbal abuse. That
“Life seemed to revolve around alcohol”
wasn’t my experience; my mother drank in
secret, and was very withdrawn. She was gen- “Were your worries and anxieties
erally very uninvolved in our lives. My father too much to bear?”
absorbed himself in his work, and we children
rather had to look after ourselves. “Pouring it down the drain did
My experience of Al-Anon has no good!”
been of a safe place, where I am “However hard I tried, I could not make
listened to and valued. things better”
I’ve learned that my opinions do matter, and
people do notice whether I’m there or not. “I felt sad and useless much of
What we share is confidential within that the time”
meeting: — therefore we know that we can
“My situation just got worse”
share absolutely anything, and it will not be
judged or gossiped about. “The more I am praised,
I have learned to understand my mother’s the harder I try to please.”
alcoholism and my reactions to her behaviour

11
 HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE? ... Public Information
When I read that it took 150 years to realise I wrote to the Prime Minister with my pas-
that the antidote to scurvy was citrus fruit I sionate plea for doctors to be trained in the
wondered what hope there was for Al-Anon. specialism as they are generally ill-equipped
I have relentlessly continued to be passionate to work effectively and constructively with
about Public Information for the Community people who suffer from addiction and their
Resource which was my saving grace when families, friends, or colleagues and some-
directed to attend through an enlightened times create a dual addiction with prescribed
psychiatrist many years ago. drugs, tending to enable and perpetuate the
progression of the illness.
It has been a remarkable experi-
ence where I have met and walked The reply stated that it was now being
alongside troubled people who incorporated in medical school training: I
was cheered. I saw the programme of the
have blossomed and become
Scottish Parliament valuing and appreciat-
beautiful in their recoveries
ing what Al-Anon offers and does: I was
and through this I have been given under- touched. I saw a film entitled Anonymous
standing, compassion and love as well as People which the USA has made to reduce
enlightenment and enrichment for an incred- the stigma, shame and embarrassment and
ible quality of life in the transformation. I will brave people shared their struggles: I was
ever be grateful to Al-Anon. moved. It is awaiting public release.
Update on Public Information which I feel A newcomer to a meeting stated that she
needs to be celebrated - for in the past it ap- had found Al-Anon Family Groups through
pears to have fallen on deaf ears or met with the NHS website - so a miracle occurs.
a blank wall. In 2013 headway was made: A
I sense that denial is the biggest stumbling
large Tesco agreed to put up a poster in the
block as well as lack of education. But I keep
middle of their community board. The local
going on, going on…will you join me?
surgery displayed posters and leaflets, during
Alcohol Awareness week, 2 years running. Anon.

Al-Anon is Truly a
Worldwide Fellowship
“As a ‘Yank’ I have lived in (not visited) London
for 3-4 months every year for the last 15 years.
My London home Group is the London
Bridge Meeting and it is both the same and
different from my Florida home Group. For
me it is one of the wonderful mysteries of our
programme. The dynamics of each meeting
reflect the age, life-style and needs of differ-

12
ent people with common problems and the work on my growth.
common goal of Serenity. These ideas, points of view, approaches to
We all are examining our own lives, personal recovery were shared by members
seeking Spiritual Growth for ourselves. whose life circumstances, age, life styles and
time in our programme all differ from mine in
I would not want to have the Florida meeting very significant ways. I am able to benefit and
dynamics in London any more than I want grow myself precisely because they bring a
the London dynamic to be in Florida. That different programme view from mine.
said, some of the most important sharings
that have impacted my life today came from Our World Wide Fellowship benefits me pre-
sharings I heard in various London meetings. cisely because we are all different but the same!
They have changed the way I see myself and Thank you Al-Anon.”
GEORGE C. Florida & London.

How Important is Al-Anon in my Life?

and how I came to visit the Hazlemere Al-Anon group
When I first came into Al-Anon I was hope- us, therefore, live but one day at a time.
less with a mind filled with chaos, confusion I learned in one of my last week’s meetings
and living in fear. At the beginning I was –the higher the expectations, the lower the
taking notes as I wanted to master and fix serenity. I try to keep my boundaries high,
the Alcoholic in my life. Little did I know that I my expectations low, and my heart open.
was learning to fix myself.
I was visiting the UK last Summer and I was
Today Al-Anon is my Life-line. I strive to work badly in need of a meeting. I found myself a
my Steps and Traditions which keeps me ride to the Hazlemere Al-Anon group early
grounded in my programme. I have a Spon- for the meeting. I heard this lady’s friendly
sor and attend two Al-Anon meetings and an voice and knew it was an Al-Anon mem-
AA meeting each week. I am in a Step study ber’s. I introduced myself and was wowed
group as well. at how the members chatted to me.
Daily reading of Al-Anon literature gives me I was a part of this great fellowship. I find
a measure of comfort, serenity and a sense in the fellowship the unconditional love I
of achievement. This discourages me from receive without any frills attached.
dwelling in the past errors and disappoint-
Grateful Al-Anon member - Marcella J.
ments– a heavy burden I carry unecessarily.
This lifts the heavy weight of my past and
future. Some of my books are:
One Day At A Time in Al-Anon, How “A Journey Of A Thousand
Miles Begins With A
Al-Anon Works, and Courage to Change. Single Step”
“It is not the experience of today that drives Lao- Tzu
men mad - it is remorse or bitterness for
something which happened yesterday and
the dread of what tomorrow may bring”. Let

13
 Publicity and PI Posters and other helpful tools may be
downloaded from the Members’ Website

14
 The Three Legacies of Al-Anon
RECOVERY – UNITY – SERVICE
Al-Anon and Alateen are based on the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and Twelve Concepts
of Service adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). The Twelve Steps (see page 16), are a
foundation for personal recovery; the Twelve Traditions help Al-Anon and Alateen Groups
sustain unity and harmony; and the Twelve Concepts are guides for showing how Twelfth
Step work can be done to spread Al-Anon’s message worldwide.

How to Start a Group

Gather together several enthusiastic people who either know about Al-Anon or are affected
by an alcoholic or problem drinker. If they are new to the matter, encourage them to visit an
existing group if possible. Read the Guidelines which can be found on the Al-Anon Members’
Website.
1. Decide together on best day and time for your meeting, with no conflict with nearby
existing groups.
2. Look for a meeting room, through Social Services such as, hospitals, churches, or charity
premises, who will usually offer reasonable meeting rents.
3. Contact GSO to register the group, and in return you
will receive a starter pack.
4. Make friends with the nearest AA group if possible,
by going to an open meeting. There may be some
members whose partners would like to come. AA may
also have a room in the same building.
5. Discuss roles for secretary, treasurer, chairman, who
could share responsibility for arranging speakers and
topics for future meetings.
6. Collect voluntary donations, and keep a record of
the totals at each meeting, so that the group is self-
supporting and able to pay for the rent and literature
when needed.
7. Arrange for tea and coffee for the meeting.
GO FOR IT AND GOOD LUCK!
(Don’t forget to share your success or problems with us by
letter or email)

15
 Statement of Purpose
Al-Anon’s Suggested Preamble to The Twelve Steps
The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their
experience, strength and hope, in order to solve their common problems.
We believe alcoholism is a family illness, and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.

Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution;
does not engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues
for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.

Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.

We do this by practising the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of
alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.

UK & Éire Service Manual 2011 page 6

The Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed,
–that our lives had become unmanageable. and became willing to make amends to
them all.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater
than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever
possible, except when to do so would injure
3. Made a decision to turn our will and them or others.
our lives over to the care of God as we
understood Him. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and
when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral
inventory of ourselves. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to
improve our conscious contact with God
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to
as we understood Him, praying only for
another human being the exact nature
knowledge of His will for us and the power
of our wrongs.
to carry that out.
6. Were entirely ready to have God
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the
remove all these defects of character.
result of these steps, we tried to carry
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our this message to others, and to practice
shortcomings. these principles in all our affairs.

© Al-Anon UK & Éire 2014 Issue No. 001 March 2014