NOVENA FOR A HAPPY

& FAITHFUL MARRIAGE

REFLECTIONS
REFLECTIONSFROM
FROM ST.
ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA
JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA
Published in the United States of America by:

St. Josemaria Institute

4340 Cross Street, Suite 1
Downers Grove, IL 60515
(630) 541-9742
[email protected]
www.stjosemaria.org

In accordance with c. 827, permission to publish is granted on September 23,

2011 by Rev. Msgr. John F. Canary, Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Chicago.
Permission to publish is an official declaration of ecclesiastical authority that the
material is free from doctrinal and moral error. No legal responsibility is assumed by
the grant of this permission.

Copyright © 2011, 2014 Rev. James Socias

ISBN 978-1-936045-67-9

Acknowledgements:

All writings of St. Josemaria Escriva copyright of Fundacion Studium, Madrid.

Photos courtesy of the Shrine of Torreciudad, Spain. Special thank you to Rev. John
Henry Hanson, O. Praem, Edmundo Martinez, and Midwest Theological Forum.
Design by Jesus Cardenas.

ST. JOSEMARIA
INSTITUTE

The St. Josemaria Institute is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization founded in 2006 to

promote the life and teachings of Saint Josemaria Escriva. For more information visit
www.stjosemaria.org.
NOVENA FOR A HAPPY & FAITHFUL MARRIAGE
ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

INTRODUCTION

St Josemaria Escriva (1902-1975), priest and founder of Opus Dei,

believed that “those who are called to the married state will, with the
grace of God, find within their state everything they need to be holy,
to identify themselves each day more with Jesus Christ, and to lead
those with whom they live to God.”

The Novena for a Happy and Faithful Marriage is inspired by

St 
Josemaria’s desire to help all married couples, and those
preparing for marriage, to find meaning and encouragement in their
vocation through a commitment to daily prayer and friendship with
God, especially when facing inevitable difficulties and times of trial.

The novena reflections are all taken from the homily by St Josemaria
Escriva, “Marriage: A Christian Vocation”, published in the book
Christ is Passing By (Scepter Publishers, 1974).

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 1

WHAT IS A NOVENA?

A novena is a personal commitment that one makes to pray for nine

consecutive days to ask God for answers to a specific request,
struggle, or intention. The novena prayer is repeated each day and
can be accompanied by reading and reflection. Novenas can be
prayed throughout the year and are often prayed in preparation for
a feast day of the Church.

WHO SHOULD PRAY THIS NOVENA?

The Novena for a Happy and Faithful Marriage is ideal for engaged
couples and for married couples. St Josemaria’s reflections on
marriage would also be helpful in guiding those who are discerning
their state in life.

HOW TO PRAY THIS NOVENA:

• Choose a date and time (e.g. end of day, after dinner)

to start the novena

• Read the reflection of the day slowly in front

of a crucifix or image of the Holy Family

• Meditate on the reading and ask God

to let you see what you need to understand

• Pray one of the two prayers indicated for the day

(for the married or engaged)

• End with the Prayer for the Family and ask God
for your specific request(s)

2 St . J o sem ar ia Esc r iva

“‘What is our purpose in the world?’ To love God with all our heart and
all our soul and to spread this love to all. Does that seem little? God
does not abandon any soul to a blind destiny. He has a plan for all
and He calls each to a very personal and non-transferable vocation.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Conversations, no. 106
1ST THE VOCATION TO MARRIAGE:
DAY A SUPERNATURAL CALLING

REFLECTION:

“Christian marriage is not just a social institution, much less a mere

remedy for human weakness. It is a real supernatural calling. A
great sacrament, in Christ and in the Church, says St Paul. At the
same time, it is a permanent contract between a man and a woman.
Whether we like it or not, the sacrament of matrimony, instituted by
Christ, cannot be dissolved. It is a permanent contract that sanctifies
in cooperation with Jesus Christ. He fills the souls of husband and
wife and invites them to follow him. He transforms their whole married
life into an occasion for God’s presence on earth.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Christ is Passing By, no. 23

4 St . J o sem ar ia Esc r iva

 PRAYER FOR THE DAY

For the Married

Lord Jesus Christ, You have elevated the covenant of marriage

between man and woman to the dignity of a sacrament, making of
our relationship a true pathway to holiness. Help us never to lose
sight of the holiness of our bond. You will that husband and wife
should image Your own spousal relationship with the Church. May
we always reflect the beauty of that relationship by the holiness of
our lives and our fidelity to each other. Amen.

For the Engaged

Lord Jesus Christ, help us to appreciate how great the calling to

marriage is, as we together prepare for the great sacrament (cf.
Eph 5:32). Grant that we might seek to reflect the love that You have
for Your Church by our sincere and sacrificing love for each other.
May we be pure in our hearts, chaste in our bodies, and generous in
our service to one another, so that our love for each other may truly
imitate the love with which You laid down Your life for Your bride,
the Church. Amen.

Turn to page 24 for the concluding prayer.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 5

2ND THE SACREDNESS OF MARRIAGE:
DAY ONE FLESH OF TWO BODIES

REFLECTION:

“Marriage is a sacrament that makes one flesh of two bodies.

Theology expresses this fact in a striking way when it teaches us that
the matter of the sacrament is the bodies of husband and wife. Our
Lord sanctifies and blesses the mutual love of husband and wife. He
foresees not only a union of souls but a union of bodies as well. No
Christian, whether or not he is called to the married state, has a right
to underestimate the value of marriage.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Christ is Passing By, no. 24

6 St . J o sem ar ia Esc r iva

 PRAYER FOR THE DAY

For the Married

Lord Jesus Christ, as spouses we are no longer two, but one flesh.
As we are united in body, may we always be united in heart, mind,
and spirit as well: seeking to grow in holiness together, seeking to
give ourselves more to You as we give ourselves to each other. May
we cherish each other’s bodies as Your temple, never dishonoring
the place where You are most pleased to dwell. Amen.

For the Engaged

Lord Jesus Christ, as we prepare to be united as two in one flesh,

grant that we might grow in mutual respect and understanding of
each other. Help us to deepen our union of mind and heart, so
that we will better appreciate our union of body as the privileged
expression of that spiritual union which Your Spirit accomplishes
in us. Amen.

Turn to page 24 for the concluding prayer.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 7

3RD HUSBAND & WIFE
DAY ARE CALLED TO HOLINESS

REFLECTION:

“Husband and wife are called to sanctify their married life and to
sanctify themselves in it. It would be a serious mistake if they were
to exclude family life from their spiritual development. The marriage
union, the care and education of children, the effort to provide for
the needs of the family as well as for its security and development,
the relationships with other persons who make up the community, all
these are among the ordinary human situations that Christian couples
are called upon to sanctify.

“They will achieve this aim by exercising the virtues of faith and hope,
facing serenely all the great and small problems which confront any
family and persevering in the love and enthusiasm with which they
fulfill their duties. In this way they practice the virtue of charity in all
things. They learn to smile and forget about themselves in order to pay
attention to others. Husband and wife will listen to each other and to
their children, showing them that they are really loved and understood.
They will forget about the unimportant little frictions that selfishness
could magnify out of proportion. They will do lovingly all the small acts
of service that make up their daily life together.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Christ is Passing By, no. 23

8 St . J o sem ar ia Esc r iva

 PRAYER FOR THE DAY

For the Married

Lord Jesus Christ, You provide us with many opportunities in

married life to grow in holiness by growing in charity. Grant that we
might never overlook these occasions for growth, especially when
they challenge us. May we never tire in our daily struggle to accept
all things, the great and small trials as well as the greater and lesser
joys, as ways in which we might praise You and deepen our share
in Your Cross and Resurrection. Amen.

For the Engaged

Lord Jesus Christ, we are preparing to enter into married life, where
times of joy are often mingled with moments of sorrow and difficulty.
Grant that we may see all of these occasions as opportunities to
grow in holiness and fidelity. By striving now to accept all things for
love of You, may we strive ever more zealously to pursue holiness
when we are united together in You. Amen.

Turn to page 24 for the concluding prayer.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 9

4TH THE SACREDNESS OF HUMAN LOVE:
DAY LIVING CHASTITY IN MARRIAGE

REFLECTION:

“Human love — pure, sincere and joyful — cannot subsist in marriage

without the virtue of chastity, which leads a couple to respect the
mystery of sex and ordain it to faithfulness and personal dedication.
I have never talked about impurity, and I have always avoided falling
into a distasteful and meaningless casuistry. But I have spoken many
times, as I have to do, about chastity, purity and the joyful affirmation
of love.

“When there is chastity in the love of married persons, their marital

life is authentic; husband and wife are true to themselves, they
understand each other and develop the union between them. When
the divine gift of sex is perverted, their intimacy is destroyed, and they
can no longer look openly at each other.”

“This is the context in which we must see the Christian doctrine on

sex. Our faith does not ignore anything on this earth that is beautiful,
noble and authentically human. It simply teaches us that the rule of
our life should not be the selfish pursuit of pleasure, because only
sacrifice and self-denial lead to true love.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Christ is Passing By, no. 25 & 24

10 St . J osem ar ia Esc r iva

 PRAYER FOR THE DAY

For the Married

Lord Jesus Christ, we thank you for the gift of human sexuality and
the power you have given us to cooperate in bringing new life into
this world. Help us to see our intimacy as a privilege. Help us to see
each other as Your gift to us. Grant that we may have the courage
to struggle against our selfish impulses so that our love may be truly
a gift of self, a chaste and pure love, that only seeks the good of the
other. Amen.

For the Engaged

Lord Jesus Christ, help us to prepare for a chaste married life by

living chastity right now. As we work toward self-mastery, let us
never lose sight of the beautiful gift of pure married love. Let us
always remember that the quality of our married love depends upon
our willingness to sacrifice ourselves for each other. Beginning now,
give us strength to deny ourselves so that we can affirm the great
dignity of the love to which You call us. Amen.

Turn to page 24 for the concluding prayer.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 11

5TH SELF-GIVING &
DAY BEING OPEN TO CHILDREN

REFLECTION:

“A married couple should build their life together on the foundation

of a sincere and pure affection for each other, and on the joy that
comes from having brought into the world the children God has
enabled them to have. They should be capable of renouncing their
personal comfort; and they should put their trust in the providence
of God.”

“People who are constantly concerned with themselves, who act

above all for their own satisfaction, endanger their eternal salvation
and cannot avoid being unhappy even in this life. Only if a person
forgets himself and gives himself to God and to others, in marriage
as well as in any other aspect of life, can he be happy on this earth,
with a happiness that is a preparation for, and a foretaste of, the joy
of heaven.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Christ is Passing By, no. 25 & 24

12 St . J osem ar ia Esc r iva

 PRAYER FOR THE DAY

For the Married

Lord Jesus Christ, You will that children be the precious fruit of
married love. We praise and thank you for the irreplaceable gift of
new human life. May we always accept as a unique blessing each
child that You wish to give us, seeing in them a sign of Your trust in
our loving care. Grant that we might never allow fear or selfishness
to restrict our openness to new life, but trusting in Your goodness
and mercy, may we receive with gratitude and generosity the new
lives that You entrust to us. Amen.

For the Engaged

Lord Jesus Christ, we ask You to prepare us for parenthood by

enlarging our hearts. Deepen our love and generosity so that we will
gratefully receive the children whom You wish to give us. Prepare
us to make the necessary sacrifices that will not only ensure their
wellbeing, but assure them that they are loved by You through our
loving care. Amen.

Turn to page 24 for the concluding prayer.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 13

6TH SUFFERING
DAY & FORGIVENESS

REFLECTION:

“As long as we walk on this earth, suffering will always be the

touchstone of love. If we were to describe what occurs in the married
state, we could say that there are two sides to the coin.

“On the one hand, there is the joy of knowing that one is loved, the
desire and enthusiasm involved in starting a family and taking care of
it, the love of husband and wife, the happiness of seeing the children
grow up.

“On the other hand, there are also sorrows and difficulties — the passing
of time that consumes the body and threatens the character with the
temptation to bitterness, the seemingly monotonous succession of
days that are apparently always the same.

“We would have a poor idea of marriage and of human affection if we

were to think that love and joy come to an end when faced with such
difficulties. It is precisely then that our true sentiments come to the
surface. Then the tenderness of a person’s gift of himself takes root and
shows itself in a true and profound affection that is stronger than death.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Christ is Passing By, no. 24

14 St . J osem ar ia Esc r iva

 PRAYER FOR THE DAY

For the Married

Lord Jesus Christ, You permit suffering to be a part of every human

life, but You will that our afflictions be fruitful and redemptive. Help
us to receive the trials and sufferings of our married life in a truly
Christian spirit: as a way of making up for our sins and of bringing
down many graces upon ourselves and others. May we, as husband
and wife, be present to each other during times of suffering; may we
never willingly cause each other to suffer. But grant that we might
be strong with the strength of Your love, persevering and growing in
our love until death. Amen.

For the Engaged

Lord Jesus Christ, we ask You to prepare us for the self-giving

that marriage will ask of us. We know that our married life will be
joyful and fulfilling only to the extent that we model our love on
Your self-sacrificing love. Especially in times of trial and hardship,
may we embrace the difficulties that You permit with a spirit of love
and courage. Enlighten our minds and strengthen our hearts to
receive all of the sufferings of married life with confidence in Your
providence and mercy. Amen.

Turn to page 24 for the concluding prayer.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 15

7TH CREATING A BRIGHT HOME
DAY THROUGH FAITH & AFFECTION

REFLECTION:

“When I think of Christian homes, I like to imagine them as being

full of the light and joy that were in the home of the Holy Family. The
message of Christmas is heard in all its forcefulness: ‘Glory to God
in the highest, and on earth peace to men of good will.’ ‘And may
the peace of Christ triumph in your hearts,’ writes the Apostle. It is a
peace that comes from knowing that our Father God loves us, and
that we are made one with Christ. It results from being under the
protection of the Virgin, our Lady, and assisted by St Joseph. This is
the great light that illuminates our lives. In the midst of difficulties and
of our own personal failings, it encourages us to keep up our effort.

“Every Christian home should be a place of peace and serenity. In

spite of the small frustrations of daily life, an atmosphere of profound
and sincere affection should reign there together with a deep-rooted
calm, which is the result of authentic faith that is put into practice.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Christ is Passing By, no. 22

16 St . J osem ar ia Esc r iva

 PRAYER FOR THE DAY

For the Married

Lord Jesus Christ, grant that our home may be a place of peace,
a place where You are always welcome, a place where charity and
understanding are never absent. You call us to make our home a
bright and cheerful place by taking advantage of every opportunity,
both small and great, to serve each other. Help us to build up our
home and our relationships by this attentive and constant love,
loving one another as You have loved us. Amen.

For the Engaged

Lord Jesus Christ, help us to be devoted to Our Lady and St Joseph,

who will teach us how to make our future home into a place where
You are pleased to dwell. The Psalm tells us: “If the Lord does not
build the house, those who build it labor in vain” (Ps 127:1). May we
always allow You to build up our family and home life by accepting
from Your hand all of the opportunities You give us to serve each
other and grow in mutual love. Amen.

Turn to page 24 for the concluding prayer.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 17

8TH CREATING A CHEERFUL HOME —
DAY FRIENDSHIP WITH YOUR CHILDREN

REFLECTION:

“Listen to your children. Give them your time, even the time that you
have reserved for yourselves. Show them your confidence; believe
whatever they tell you, even if sometimes they try to deceive you.
Don’t be afraid when they rebel, because, at their age, you yourselves
were more or less rebellious. Go to meet them half-way and pray
for them. If you act in this Christian manner, they will come to you
with simplicity, instead of trying to satisfy their legitimate curiosity
by taking it to some rough or vulgar friend. Your confidence, your
friendly dealings with your children, will receive an answer in their
sincerity in dealing with you. Then, even if there are quarrels and lack
of understanding, they will never amount to much; and this is what
peace in the family and a truly Christian life mean.

“At the same time, they [parents] should help their children to direct
their efforts and to carry out their projects properly, teaching them to
consider things and to reason them out. It is not a matter of imposing
a line of conduct, but rather of showing the human and supernatural
motives for it. In a word, parents have to respect their children’s freedom,
because there is no real education without personal responsibility, and
there is no responsibility without freedom.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Christ is Passing By, no. 29 & 27

18 St . J osem ar ia Esc r iva

 PRAYER FOR THE DAY

For the Married

Lord Jesus Christ, children are Your gift to us. Grant that we might
receive them gratefully as gifts, while especially striving to remain
open to how You speak to us through them. With both their strengths
and weaknesses, help us to embrace them with love and patience,
accepting them as You also mercifully accept us. May we teach
and correct them lovingly, always remembering that we have the
responsibility of forming them in the freedom of the children of God.
Amen.

For the Engaged

Lord Jesus Christ, help us to appreciate deeply our status as

adopted children of God. Help us to call upon God as Our Father
with great tenderness and confidence. By learning to treasure our
own dignity as God’s children, we will also know better how to love
and form the children that You wish to give us, in the same Spirit that
has made us all Your brothers and sisters, and sons and daughters
of the Heavenly Father. Amen.

Turn to page 24 for the concluding prayer.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 19

9TH UNITED WITH CHRIST:
DAY BECOMING SOWERS OF PEACE & JOY

REFLECTION:

“Couples should be convinced that they are really and truly called to
take part in the fulfillment of God’s plan for the salvation of all men. For
this reason, there is perhaps no better model for a Christian couple
than that of the Christian families of apostolic times: the centurion
Cornelius, who obeyed the will of God and in whose home the
Church was made accessible to the gentiles; Aquila and Priscilla,
who spread Christianity in Corinth and Ephesus, and who cooperated
in the apostolate of St Paul; Tabitha, who out of charity attended to the
needs of the Christians in Joppe.

“And so many other homes and families of Jews and Gentiles, Greeks
and Romans, in which the preaching of our Lord’s first disciples began
to bear fruit—families who lived in union with Christ and who made him
known to others; small Christian communities which were centers for
the spreading of the Gospel and its message; families no different from
other families of those times, but living with a new spirit, which spread
to all those who were in contact with them.

“This is what the first Christians were, and this is what we have to be: sowers
of peace and joy, the peace and joy that Jesus has brought to us.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Christ is Passing By, no. 30

20 St . J osem ar ia Esc r iva

 PRAYER FOR THE DAY

For the Married

Lord Jesus Christ, You will that our marriage be truly apostolic, that
is, a relationship so loving and joyful that we naturally reach out to
others in order to share what You have given us. Grant us true joy
in You; grant us true joy in each other; grant us Your peace. Then
we will more fully live the sacrament of holy matrimony, the more
we draw souls to You by the witness of our married love, which is a
true reflection of the surpassing love that You have for Your bride,
the Church. Amen.

For the Engaged

Lord Jesus Christ, You call us to live a life of Christian witness in the
world, reflecting the joy and peace that comes from belonging to You
and to Your Church. Grant that our married love may radiate outward
to many souls, inspiring them to come to You and to the Church. May
we prepare for this by living authentically Christian lives right now—
lives of generosity, self-restraint, and purity—so that by our example,
the light of the Gospel may shine brightly before all. Amen.

Turn to page 24 for the concluding prayer.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 21

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA
PRIEST & FOUNDER OF OPUS DEI
(1902-1975)

“Saint Josemaria was chosen by the Lord to proclaim the universal

call to holiness and to indicate that everyday life, its customary
activities, are a path towards holiness. It could be said that he was
the saint of the ordinary.

“He was really convinced that, for

whoever lives with an outlook of faith,
everything offers an opportunity for a
meeting with God, everything becomes
a stimulus for prayer. Seen in that way,
daily life reveals an unsuspected
greatness. Holiness is really put on
everyone’s doorstep.

“Josemaria Escriva was a saint of great

humanity. All those who dealt with
him, of whatever level of education
or social condition, felt him to be a
father, totally dedicated to the
service of the others, because
he was convinced that each
soul is a marvelous treasure;

22 St . J osem ar ia Esc r iva

in fact, each person is worth all the Blood of Christ. This attitude of
service is plain to see in his dedication to priestly ministry and in
the magnanimity with which he pushed ahead so many works of
evangelization and of human development to help the poorest.

“Saint Josemaria was profoundly convinced that Christian life entails

a mission and an apostolate: we are in the world to save it with
Christ. He loved the world passionately, with a ‘redemptive love’ (cf.
Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 604). It is precisely for this
reason that his teachings have helped so many ordinary members
of the faithful discover the redemptive power of faith, its capacity to
transform the earth.”

POPE SAINT JOHN PAUL II

Address after the Mass of
Thanksgiving for the Canonization
October 7, 2002

To learn more about St Josemaria Escriva visit www.stjosemaria.org.

Nove na for a Happy and Faithful Marriage 23

PRAYER FOR THE FAMILY

O God our Loving Father,

Creator of all things, you sent your Son, Jesus Christ, our Redeemer,
into the home of Mary and Joseph forming the Holy Family of
Nazareth; inspire us by their example to imitate their selfless charity
in our family life.

Through the intercession of St Josemaria, help our families to be

united in the heart of Christ, enjoying a loving communion with
each other, recognizing and upholding the sacredness of marriage,
generously welcoming the gift of life, and valuing the inestimable
gift of each family member.

Help us to dedicate ourselves in generous service to our families

and to reflect the love that Christ had for Mary and Joseph, making
our family a true domestic Church with Christ at its center.

Teach us to find Christ in the crosses that occur in family life and
help us to find joy in them and unite them to him.

Watch over and protect our family so that each member will be
faithful to the Gospel and never stray from the path of holiness. We
ask you, through the intercession of St Josemaria, to grant us the
favor of (make your request). Amen.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, we give our hearts and souls to you.

24 St . J osem ar ia Esc r iva

“Christian couples should be aware that they are called…to be apostles
and that their first apostolate is in the home. They should understand
that founding a family, educating their children, and exercising a
Christian influence in society, are supernatural tasks. The effectiveness
and the success of their life — their happiness — depends to a great
extent on their awareness of their specific mission.”

ST. JOSEMARIA ESCRIVA

Conversations, no. 91
“Marriage is a divine path on earth”, St Josemaria Escriva often
explained in his writings and meetings with the laity. St Josemaria,
priest and founder of Opus Dei, promoted the Catholic Church’s
teachings on the value and dignity of the Sacrament of Marriage by
explaining precisely the fact that Marriage is a supernatural calling
and it is the means to a husband and wife’s holiness.

This novena booklet especially invites married couples and those

preparing for marriage to reflect on the meaning of the Sacrament of
Marriage in order to strengthen their relationship with their spouse,
with their family, and with God.

The novena reflections are taken from St Josemaria’s writings and

encourage spouses to consider that, “Human love, the love we
experience on earth when it is really genuine, helps us to savor
divine love. That is how we grasp the love by which we rejoice in
God and which we will share in heaven when the Lord is ‘everything
to everyone’ (1 Cor 15:28). If we begin to understand God’s love,
we will feel impelled to become increasingly more compassionate,
more generous, more dedicated” (Christ is Passing By, no. 166).

To order additional copies of this booklet contact the

St. Josemaria Institute at 630.541.9742 or www.stjosemaria.org.

ST. JOSEMARIA
INSTITUTE ISBN  978-1-936045-67-9