Elective Parenting
Elective Parenting
Elective Parenting
particular situations.
COLLEGE OF NURSING - the earliest form of role behavior
3. Fantasy
S.Y 2016-2017
- involves cognitively trying varieties of possible role
situations
- occurs by way of fears, dreams, and daydreams
TOPIC 2: THE PARENTS 4. Introjection-projection-rejection/acceptance
(IPR/A)
Rle members: Satairapan, Seneca, Serranilla, Serrano, Sia, - the mother takes in the behavior of others (introjection), and
Sindayen, Sison, Siton, So, Sto. Domingo examines if it fits her own role
expectations. Then she imagines herself performing in that
1.DEVELOPMENTAL TASKS OF PARENTS-TO- way (projection) and makes a judgment
BE: MOTHERING ROLES & FATHERING ROLES about the behavior. If the fit is good, the behavior is accepted.
Early Child Bearing Family (0-30 months old) 5. Grief work
- Emphasize the importance of pregnancy and - an operation that has to do with giving up elements of the
immunization. former self which would be in
conflict with the new role
- Learn the concept of parenting.
- Income adjustments.
Theory of Maternal Role Attainment
- Re-adjustment - Mercer’s Theory
- Linkage with expanded family. Rowana T. Mercer (1995)
- Role shift. Formulated to serve as a framework for
Developmental task for parents to be: Mothering and nurses to provide appropriate health
Fathering care interventions for nontraditional
mothers
- Financial preparation for the existence of
To assist nontraditional mothers to
additional member of the family (child) attain a strong maternal indentity.
- Prepare a safe environment for the upcoming - Primary concept of Mercer’s Theory
child. Developmental and interactional
- Managing a residence or home. process occur over a period of time
- Establishing a more intimate bond with spouse. wherein there is bonding between
- Separation from parents mother and infant. Acquire the
Latin word= parens following:
Caretaker of the offspring in their species : Competence in care taking task
Humans- mother or father figure of a child or offspring. : Enjoys and expresses joy
- Achievement of independence and decision- : Pleasure in role
making. - Mercer’s Theory: Four Stages of Acquisition of
- Attend seminars or counseling for parenting Becoming a Mother
lessons. Anticipatory- is the social and
- Learn to live with a partner and with an psychological adaptation to the
upcoming baby. maternal role. This includes learning
- Have a stable job with a stable salary. expectations and can involve
- Establishing goals for upcoming children fantasizing about the role.
Rubin’s Theory of Maternal Role Attainment Formal- the assumption of the maternal
role at birth. In this stage, behaviors are
o Reva Rubin guided by others in the mother's social
o The achievement of a firm concept or system or network, and relying on the
identity of oneself as a mother, in the sense advice of others in making decisions.
that she iscomfortable in the role, occurs Informal- when the mother develops her
considerably later than the birth of the child own methods of mothering which are
o Maternal identity development -is the not conveyed by a social system. She
woman’s efforts aimed at becoming a finds what works for her and the child.
mother Personal- is the joy of motherhood. In
o The Process of Maternal Role Taking this stage, the mother finds harmony,
1. Mimicry confidence, and competence in the
- an active operation in which the woman searches the maternal role. In some cases, she may
environment and her memory for other find herself ready for or looking
people who are or have been in the role she is working to forward to another child.
attain, and then examines their behavior and
imitates them 1. DIFFERENT PARENTING STYLES
2. Role play
Parenting style is based on how a parent responds to the needs These parents are loving, accepting and warm.
and interests of their children and how they supervise and They have few rules about what their child should or
discipline them should not do.
They allow a lot of freedom and little supervision.
They may be concerned that their child will not like
them if they are
The way you parent your children may be affected by: enjoy doing for their child to such a degree that they
fail to teach the child how to do for themselves.
how you were parented Permissive parents rarely discipline their children.
your culture and values They tend to be lenient and they allow considerable
your life experiences self-regulation.
where you live When taken to the extreme, they tend to see
your child’s age and temperament In a two parent themselves more as their child's friend rather than
family, both parents may not have exactly the same parents who need to teach and guide.
parenting style but it is important to agree on a
general approach to parenting. This will help your Possible outcomes of using mostly this style:
children to know what is expected of them.
These children are often creative and confident.
Four types of parenting styles However, to others, they may appear impulsive and
childish.
They often do not accept responsibility for their own
actions and blame others.
Strict parenting style
They may have problems getting along with others.
(also known as authoritarian) They may have trouble following rules at school or
work as they have not had to do that at home
Relaxed parenting style For these children, self confidence, success in school
and the ability to make friends are more likely.
(also known as lenient and permissive) They are more able to solve their own problems and
learn from their mistakes.
They tend to be more caring to others and less likely * Normally becomes a source of
to bully. worry for most mothers, whether
The children feel safe because they've learned they her child is safe or not.
can count on their parents to be there to help if things * Hence seeks reassurance from
go wrong. Health Professionals that her child
As teens, they tend to have lower levels of drug will be born safely.
misuse and other risky behaviour and are less likely o 2. Acceptance
to be depressed. * The Mother’s Acceptance of her
children learn in childhood to problem solve, make pregnancy is the most important
healthy decisions, and function in a structured
opinion of all, if the mother accepts
environment.
her child wholeheartedly, this
children learn responsibility and typically obey
improves the pregnancy for the
parents out of respect rather than fear of punishment.
mother and the child in various
ways.
Uninvolved parenting style
*The Father or the partner of the
mother’s opinion on the pregnancy
uninvolved parent makes very few, if any, demands
is also just as important. Most
of their children. They are often dismissive or even
mothers who have very supportive
neglectful. These parents may provide clothing, food
and shelter but they are not involved in their partners often report their
children’s lives. pregnancy as wanted. It also
have little to no expectations for behavior, show little improves the well-being of the
affection, and may even intentionally avoid the child. mother and child knowing that her
They often fail to supervise their children and are pregnancy is accepted by her
usually emotionally distant partner.
uninvolved parents are often so involved with their *The Mother and the Father of the
own needs and issues that they do not even realize child must make a space for the
they are not providing the emotional support their child in their lives, evidencing their
children need. acceptance of their child.
*involves the opinion of the
Possible Outcomes of using mostly this style: mother’s family, friends, and all
those around her, how they accept
Children whose parents are uninvolved tend to have a the unborn child affects the
harder time forming attachments to people later in mother’s acceptance of herself and
life. her unborn child.
These children often feel that they are unimportant * many parents ideally have an
and their parents do not care about them, giving way expectation of what their child’s
to low self-esteem. gender, in the case of said
School performance is typically poor and social skills expectation not being met this then
lacking.
creates a challenge for the family.
These children are more likely to be aggressive and
o Giving
have behavioral problems.
*Most essential component of
They are often defiant to authority figures. In
motherhood, evidenced in giving of
addition, they often struggle with drug and alcohol
abuse. a mother’s body for the child to
grow in.
2. BEHAVIORAL NEEDS OF EXPECTANT * Develops giving to those around
MOTHERS her, through small and meaningful
gifts.
* Baby Showers are important, it
Seeking safe passage for herself and the baby through
builds a strong unbreakable bond
pregnancy, labour, and childbirth.
with fellow expecting mothers and
Summary of points.
teaches them not only how to give
o 1. Safe Passage
but also to receive.
* Priority problem of mothers,
o Attachment
bringing her unborn child into the
*Begins when the mother accepts
world is the first of the succeeding
the reality that she is pregnant.
concerns.
*develops further with feelings of
love and attachment surfacing in
the 2nd Trimester when the child is
becoming more real to her and Aside from the direct influence of household
others like for example upon seeing structure on academic achievement and learning, a
her first image of her child through single-family home environment may influence a
ultrasound. child's behavioral performance in school, which can
*in her 3rd Trimester she then indirectly affect learning and interest in school.
begins exhibit attachment to her According to Adoption.com, when single parents are
unborn child with a feeling of working full time and therefore have less available
time for their children, the situation may lead to
possessiveness and vulnerability.
either behavioral issues or lower academic
* As the child grows Larger, so achievement.
does the mother’s affection for the
child grows Larger as well.
3. SELECTED SITUATIONAL CRISES AFFECTING Other factors that may affect the child’s development:
PARENTAL ASSUMPTION OF THEIR ROLE:
o Effects of Divorce on Children -Children of divorce have problems to adjust to the new
situation especially When their divorced parents keep on
-The divorce itself does not affect children in a negative way. fighting. The bigger the conflict and the longer it lasts, the
The effects result more often from the feeling of uncertainty of more the children seem to be affected.
what is going to happen after the divorce, from the level of -The visiting parent can have positive or negative effects of
conflict between the parents and from how the parenting after divorce on children. If he or she is not paying attention to the
the divorce is done. child, but instead is fighting with the ex spouse, the child will
-The consequences of a divorce for children are mostly that not enjoy the visit at all. The visits must also be at a regular
they have to move to a different home and sometimes to a interval and at predictable times. This way, the children will
different school and that they will not see and be with both get the feeling that the visiting parent takes the time and effort
their parents at the same time any more. In most of the cases, to visit them and that it is imporant for their visiting parent
they will live with their mother and they will see their father too. Finally, divorced parents should not try to find out via
much less. their children how their ex is living, what he or she is up to or
to know about the new partner of their ex.
-To adjust to their new situation takes them 2 years or more.
D) Migrant / Overseas Parent
The age of the children plays a role in how they react to the
divorce. Effects of divorce on children under 9 years - the so o “Migration is neither a new phenomenon, a failure of
called pre-schoolers - are that they tend to blame themselves development, nor a substitute for development…
for the divorce. They also dream about their parents getting individuals move as part of their effort to improve
back together again some day. That's wishful thinking. their lives and the lives of their families, to learn new
skills, to gain new experiences, to find a job or to flee
o Manage the effects of divorce on children insecurity, disaster or famine. Migration is an
economic, social and political process that affects
-For pre-schoolers, the family and especially their parents, is those who move, those who stay behind, and the
the center of their universe. They need a lot of attention, care, places where they go.” People are crossing borders to
love and confirmation from them. As a result of the divorce, search for better job opportunities and to provide a
they might become even more dependent of their parents. better future for their families. Along this
Divorced parents report that after the divorce, their young development is the plight of more children being left
children started bed watering again and that they could not or behind by either one or both parents, leaving them to
did not want to do simple tasks that they were able to before. the care of extended family members or friends.
Probably, this is their way of getting closer to their parents. o Parental absence creates “displacement, disruptions
-Adolescents (children between 9 and 13 years) react in the and changes in care giving arrangement.” There is
opposite direction. They tend to behave more independent. always an emotional aspect that goes along with
They feel betrayed by their divorced parents. Mistrust enters parents leaving their children, especially for long
the relationship. They feel they have to take care of periods of time. Nevertheless, it is also a relief to
themselves, to take things in their own hands. Mum and dad have the extended family looking after the children
are apparently putting their interest first. left-behind. However, it cannot negate the fact that
the children are longing for the love and care of their
Among boys, this materialises in more rebellious and biological parents.
agressive behavior. Girls have the tendency to become more o Children have a different level of acceptance or
anxious and withdrawn. Girls of divorce parents are sexually tolerance of the situation depending on their
active at younger age. “cognitive development”. For young children, they
only see migration as a form of abandonment of their
-Among effects of divorce on children are negative emotions
parents; while adolescents may either be receptive or
like bitterness, stress, emotional pain, anxiety, fear, feeling
resentful. Related articles on children left behind also
abandoned, feeling betrayed and loss of self-esteem.
focus on the effects of mother’s absence to children, 4. General well-being
where children have varied reactions to migration
situation depending on the age of the child – i.e. for A study found that “children of migrants were generally fine
pre-school children (0-5 years old), the absence of and faring better than the children of non-migrants”.
mothers is somewhat easily accepted since no Surprisingly, “children of migrants are less anxious and less
bonding has yet been established but the adjustment lonely compared with the children of non-migrants”.
for those children ages 6-16 years of age is more However, the low level of anxiety and loneliness can also be
difficult because they had already known and attributed to the increase of family communication. On a sad
established affection with their mothers. note, the children of migrant mothers reported being lonely,
angry, unloved, unfeeling, afraid, different
TECHNIQUES USED
SURROGACY: "One woman (host mother or
Intracervical insemination (ICI) surrogate mother) carries a child for another as the
o ICI is the most common artificial result of an agreement which is made before
insemination technique.This involves conception that the child should be handed over after
injecting raw (unwashed) semen into the birth. The couple wishing to have the child are called
cervix with a needleless syringe. If fresh the commissioning couple."
semen is used, it must be allowed to liquefy
before inserting it into the syringe. Problem#1: Legal Issues
o Frozen semen which has been thawed can
also be used. Enclosed air is removed from
the syringe by pressing the plunger forward Surrogacy is illegal in some American states, as well as in
before the syringe is inserted into the many other countries.
vagina.
Intrauterine insemination(IUI): Also, in certain states it can be a complex process for the
o It involves injecting washed sperm into the
intended mother to be named as the parent, especially in
uterus by using a catheter.
o Unwashed semen is not used because it may cases where the surrogate is the biological mother.
cause uterine cramping, expel the semen and
Hence, intended parents must prepare a legal contract
cause pain.
o The woman should lie down on the table for where the surrogate agrees to abandon her maternal rights
15 minutes after IUI for optimal results.
and thereby allows the intended mother to adopt the child.
o It may be recommended for several
diagnoses of infertility, some of which Some jurisdictions forbid commercial surrogacy.
include:
If doctors discover that the fetus has potential birth defects
Issues with cervical mucus or some other health problems, then the intended parents
might decide to discontinue the pregnancy. This can give Miscarriage is very common in surrogate pregnancy.
rise to several legal problems, particularly if they use the Since in most cases, more than one embryo is implanted in
sperm from a donor or eggs not belonging to the surrogate the uterus to enhance the chances of successful pregnancy,
for pregnancy. In this case, the problem is who gets to it also enhances the possibility of twins or triplets. Often,
decide whether the pregnancy should be carried on or this becomes crucial for the mother’s health as well as that
terminated. of the unborn babies.
So before you approach a surrogate, it is imperative that you Problem#5: Ethical Issues
seek the advice of legal counsel and make sure that all
pertinent issues are addressed. Also, when the contract is Some common ethical issues regarding surrogacy are:
drafted and ready for you and the surrogate to sign, make sure
that it complies with the state and local laws involving
surrogacy.
Many people still consider surrogacy as a baby selling
Problem#2: Surrogates’ refusal to give the child process and a surrogate mother is still looked down upon.
In certain instances, the surrogate mothers have developed a Many people also take it as a chance to take advantage of a
strong attachment to the baby, and thus refused to give away
needy woman.
the child on birth. In some of these cases, the surrogates, being
biological mothers, have won the cases. However, in states Parents are often found to be indecisive about whether
where surrogacy is allowed, this has gone against them and
they have lost their visitation or custody rights. they should allow their child (if he/ she was born via
surrogacy) to know the identity of the people involved in
Problem#3: Breach Of Contract
his/ her conception and delivery.
Either of the parties, be it the intended parents or the surrogate
can breach their contract. Some of the examples of surrogacy Problem#6: Religious Issues
contract breaches include:
Different religions have varied approaches to surrogacy. For
example:
Voluntary abortion by the surrogate without the consent of
intended parents. Jewish law permits surrogacy only if it is a full gestational
The surrogate can also breach the contract by failing to surrogacy. Also, the gametes of both intended parents
follow certain behavioral restrictions (by indulging in drug should be included and in vitro fertilization should be the
abuse/ alcohol consumption for example) during the mode of fertilization followed.
gestation period. Paragraph 2376 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church
Failure of the intended parents to pay for all the expenses states
and fees.
The surrogate’s refusal to go for an abortion following the
attending physician’s recommendation. “Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband
Problem#4: Medical Complications and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the
The surrogate mother may face obstetrical or medical couple (read donation of sperm or ovum, surrogate
complications during the pregnancy. uterus), are gravely immoral.”
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