Emotional intelligence fuels your performance both in the workplace and in your personal 

life, but it starts with you. From your con dence, empathy and optimism to your social 

skills and self-control, understanding and managing your own emotions can accelerate 

success in all areas of your life. 

No matter what professional eld you are in, whether you manage a team of two or 20, or 

even just yourself, realising how effective you are at controlling your own emotional 

energy is a great starting point. Absent from the curriculum, emotional intelligence isn’t 

something we are taught or tested on, so where did it come from, what is it, do you have it 

and is it really that important? 

Fortunately, it is something you can learn and we’ve compiled a comprehensive list of tips 

to help you explore your own level of emotional intelligence and gain important emotional 

intelligence skills that can be implemented into everyday life. Some of these tips we follow 

ourselves and others have been revealed to us by our amazing clients and partners who 

know how to motivate and inspire their teams but rst and foremost, themselves. 
  

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1. Emotional Intelligence 

2. Self-awareness 

3. Self-management 

4. Motivation 

5. Empathy 
6. Social skills 

7. What to avoid 

Emotional Intelligence 

Put simply, emotional Intelligence is how well individuals identify and manage their own 

emotions and react to the emotions of others. It’s understanding how those emotions 

shape your thoughts and actions so you can have greater control over your behaviour and 

develop the skills to manage yourself more effectively. Becoming more emotionally 

conscious allows us to grow and gain a deeper understanding of who we are, enabling us 

to communicate better with others and build stronger relationships. 

We suggest starting with these initial 8 tips, they provide a good starting point to 

discovering the foundations of your emotional intelligence. 

#1) Practice observing how you feel 

Often we lead hectic, busy lifestyles and it’s all too easy for us to lose touch with our 

emotions. To reconnect, try setting a timer for various points during the day. When the 

timer goes off, take a few deep breaths and notice how you’re feeling emotionally. Pay 

attention to where that emotion is showing up as a physical feeling in your body and what 

the sensation feels like. The more you practice, the more it will become second nature. 
#2) Pay attention to how you behave 

While you’re practising your emotional awareness, take the time to notice your behaviour 

too. Observe how you act when you’re experiencing certain emotions, and how that 

affects your day-to-day life. Managing our emotions becomes easier once we become 

more conscious of how we react to them. 

#3) Question your own opinions 

In this hyper-connected world, it is easy to fall into an ‘opinion bubble’. This is a state of 

existence where your own opinions are constantly re-enforced by people with similar 

viewpoints. Take time to read the other side of the story and have your views challenged 

(even if you still feel they are right). This will help you understand other people and be 

more receptive to new ideas. 

#4) Take responsibility for your feelings 

Your emotions and behaviour come from you, they don’t come from anyone else and once 

you start accepting responsibility for how you feel and how you behave it will have a 

positive impact on all areas of your life. 

#5) Take time to celebrate the positive 

A key part emotional intelligence is celebrating and re ecting on the positive moments in 

life. People who experience positive emotions are generally more resilient and more likely 

to have ful lling relationships, which will help them move past adversity. 

#6) But don’t ignore the negative 

Re ecting on negative feelings is just as important as re ecting on the positive. 

Understanding why you feel negative is key to becoming a fully-rounded individual, who is 

more able to deal with negative issues in the future. 

#7) Don’t forget to breathe 

  
Life throws various situations our way, with most of us 

experiencing some sort of stress on a regular basis. 

To manage your emotions when this happens and to 

avoid outbursts, don’t forget to breathe. Call a time 

out and go put some cold water on your face, go 

outside and get some fresh air or make a drink – 

anything to keep your cool and give yourself a chance 

to get a hold on what’s happening and how you should 

respond. 

#8) A lifetime process 

Understand and remember that emotional intelligence is something you develop and 

requires continual improvement; it’s very much a lifetime practice. 

Self-awareness 
A key component of emotional intelligence, self-awareness is the ability to recognise and 

understand your own character, moods and emotions and their effect on others. It 

includes a realistic self-assessment of what you’re capable of – your strengths and 

weaknesses – and knowing how others perceive you. It can help highlight areas for 

self-improvement, make you better at adapting and can limit wrongful decisions. 

#9) Learn to look at yourself objectively 

Knowing yourself completely is dif cult and it’s almost impossible to look at yourself 

objectively, so input from those who know you is vital. Ask them where your strengths and 

weaknesses lie, write down what they say and compare it. Look out for any patterns and 

remember not to argue with them – it doesn’t mean they’re right – they’re just trying to 

help you gauge your perception from another’s point of view. 

#10) Keep a diary 

A great way to get an accurate gauge of yourself is to keep a diary. Start by writing down 

what happened to you at the end of every day, how it made you feel and how you dealt 

with it. Documenting details like these will make you more aware of what you're doing and 

will highlight where problems might be coming from. Periodically, look back over your 

comments and take note of any trends. 

#11) Understand what motivates you 

Everyone has a core motivation when they begin a project. The dif culty is keeping this 

driving force in mind when adversity appears. All too often people start a project but fail 
to complete it because they lose their motivation to do so. Take time to understand what 

motivates you and use it to push you across the nish line. 

#12) Take it easy 

Sometimes emotional outbreaks occur because we don’t take the time out to slow down 

and process how we’re feeling. Give yourself a break and make a conscious effort to 

meditate, do yoga or read – a little escapism works wonders. And then the next time you 

have an emotional reaction to something, try to pause before you react. 

#13) Acknowledge your emotional triggers 

Self-aware individuals are able to recognise their 

emotions as they occur. It's important to be �exible 

with your emotions and adapt them to your situation. 

Don't deny your emotions stage time but don't be rigid 

with them either, take the time to process your 

emotions before communicating them. 

  
#14) Predict how you will feel 

Think about a situation you’re going into and predict how you will feel. Practice naming 

and accepting the feelings - naming the feeling puts you in control. Try to choose an 

appropriate reaction to the feeling rather than just reacting to it. 

#15) Trust your intuition 

If you are still unsure about which path to take, trust your intuition. After all, your 

subconscious has been learning which path to take throughout your entire life. 

Self-management 

Once you’ve gotten to grips with self-awareness and how your emotions work, you can get 

a handle on self-management. Which means taking responsibility for your own behaviour 

and well-being as well as controlling emotional outbursts. 

One key way to keep your emotions in check is to change your sensory input – motion 

dictates emotion as the old saying goes. So jolt your physical body out of routine by 

attending an exercise class or try channelling a busy mind with a puzzle or a book - 

anything to break your existing routine. 

#17) Maintain a schedule (and stick to it!) 

Ensuring that you create a schedule and stick to it is extremely important if you want to 

complete tasks effectively. 

Paul Minors of Productivityist(add a to 

https://productivityist.com/the-importance-of-scheduling/) writes "When you schedule 

appointments in your calendar, you’re saying to yourself: “I’m going to do A, B and C by X 

date and it’s going to take Y hours.” 

Once you make this promise, it becomes harder to procrastinate." 

#18) Eat well 

This sounds like an easy one but regulating what you eat and drink can have a massive 

effect on your emotional state, so try your best to maintain a balanced diet. 

#19) Don’t get mad 

emotions inside, especially if it’s not an appropriate time to let them out. However, when 

you do, rather than vent it on something futile, turn it into motivation instead. Don’t get 

mad, get better. 

#20) Be interested 

A key factor in managing yourself and your emotions is consciously taken the time to be 

interested in the subject matter, whether it be business or personal. 

#21) Don't expect people to trust you (if you can't trust 

them) 

Establishing trust with a person can be di⒎�cult, and 

once it's lost it's very hard to regain. Try to be mindful 

that people are only human and will make mistakes. 

By o򦩔ering your trust, you are inviting people to o򦩔er 

their trust in return. 

  
#22) It’s your choice 

You have the ability to choose how you react to a situation - you can either overreact or 

remain calm. But it’s your choice. 

Motivation 

A personal skills aspect of emotional intelligence, self-motivation refers to our inner drive 

to achieve and improve our commitment to our goals, our readiness to act on 

opportunities and our overall optimism. 

#23) Personal goals 

Personal goals can provide long-term direction and short-term motivation. So grab a pen 

and paper and have a think about where you want to be and set some targets for yourself. 

Base them on your strengths and make them relevant to you and ultimately, make them 

exciting and achievable. This task alone is enough to get you instantly motivated! 

#24) Be realistic 

When you’ve set a new goal, be sure to give yourself realistic and clear aims to achieving 

that goal and understand that change is an inevitable part of life. Achievement boosts 

con dence and as self-con dence rises so does the ability to achieve more, see how it 

works? 
#25) Positive thinking 

To keep motivated it’s important to maintain a positive and optimistic mindset. See 

problems and setbacks as learning opportunities instead of failings and try to avoid 

negative people and opt to surround yourself with positive, well-motivated people – 

they’ll have a great effect on you. 

#26) Lifelong learning 

Both knowledge and information are key for feeding your mind and keeping you curious 

and motivated. And with information so easily accessible, you have the opportunity to fuel 

your values and passions at the click of a button! 

#27) Be prepared to leave your comfort zone 

enough. Great things can happen to you if you’re willing to leave your comfort zone, so do 

so as often as you can. 

#28) Help 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and vice versa. If others need help, don’t 

hold back in giving it to them. Seeing other people succeed will only help to motivate 

yourself. 

#29) Stand and stretch 

For an instant short term boost to your motivation, take a stand and stretch out as far as 

you can for 10 seconds. When you return to your desk, you'll be in the correct frame of 

mind and ready to work. 

Empathy 

Quite simply, empathy is the ability to understand other people’s emotions. 

Understanding that everyone has their own set of feelings, desires, triggers and fears. To 

be empathetic you’re allowing their experiences to resonate with your own in order to 

respond in an emotionally appropriate way. It’s a lifelong skill and the most important one 

for navigating relationships, and whilst it may not come naturally, there are a few ways it 

can be nurtured. 
 #30) Listen 

Before you’re able to empathise with someone you 

�rst need to understand what it is they’re saying, 

which means listening is at the very epicentre of 

empathy. It involves letting them talk without 

interruption, preconceptions, scepticism and putting 

your own issues on pause to allow yourself to absorb 

their situation and consider how they are feeling 

before you react. 

#31) Try to be approachable 

Whether you're the leader of a team or working on a project with others, try to remain 

accessible and approachable. 

We’re all familiar with the phrase “put yourself in their shoes”, and this is exactly that. The 

simplest way of gaining a little perspective the next time an issue or situation arises is to 

switch places with the other person and really think about what’s happening from their 

point of view. Sometimes there’s no right or wrong but at least you’ll understand enough 

to come to a resolve or offer some useful advice. 

#33) Open yourself up 

One of the quickest ways to offer a sincere exchange or sign of empathy is to listen to 

someone’s experiences and connect to it with a similar experience of your own. Don’t be 

afraid to open yourself up, it might just be the start of a great and lasting friendship. 

#34) Immerse yourself in a new culture 

Sometimes the best way to open your mind is to jump on a plane and go somewhere 

completely different. 

#35) Cultivate a curiosity about strangers 

Highly empathetic people have an insatiable curiosity about strangers. When we talk to 

people outside of our usual social circle we learn about and begin to understand opinions, 

views and lives that are different to our own. So next time you’re sat on a bus you know 

just what to do… 

#36) Acknowledge what people are saying 

Another useful tip is, whilst listening to what a person has to say, use acknowledgement 

words such as 'i understand' and 'i see' to show a person you're listening (but of course 

only say these things if you are actually listening!). 

Social skills 

In emotional intelligence terms, social skills refer to the skills needed to handle and 

in uence other people’s emotions effectively. It covers a wide range of abilities, from 

communication and con ict management to dealing with change, meeting new people and 

building relationships and plays a part in almost every part of our lives, from work life to 
our romantic life. It’s complex and requires utilising almost every point we have already 

mentioned, but here are a few pointers for you. 

#37) Get started 

A good way to get started on improving your social skills is to isolate one skill you know 

you’d like to develop, this narrows it down and gives you focus. Internationally known 

psychologist, Daniel Goleman, suggests highlighting someone you know to be good at that 

particular skill, observing how they act and how they control their emotions and then 

implementing and applying that knowledge to yourself. 

#38) Wear somebody else's shoes 

Not literally of course! Everyone has heard the phrase 'walk a mile in somebody else's 

shoes', but how many people actually practice this advice? Give it a try, you never know. 

#39) Practice makes perfect 

The idea of practising your social skills might sound strange, but like everything in life, 

practice makes perfect. 

#40) Social media cold turkey 

We don’t mean to sound old, but taking your social life of ine and engaging face-to-face 

with people will open up so many opportunities for you to gain and develop your social 
skills. So next time instead of instant messaging your best friend, meet up for a drink! 

Emotional intelligence doesn’t expand within the con nes of (un) social media… 

#41) Get networking 

A good way to practise your social acumen is to attend local networking events. The great 

thing about these events is that everyone attending has a shared reason for attending. 

#42) It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it 

We’re talking about the importance of nonverbal communication and how that can affect 

a person’s opinion of you. Body language, tone of voice and eye contact is key to letting 

others know how you feel emotionally. So once you’ve got your emotions intact, think 

about how you’re physically coming across. 

#43) The unknown 

The ultimate method to building your social skills is to get out there and be sociable. It 

sounds simple, but you can’t strengthen your social skills without being social! Join a 

group or network outside of your usual circle; it’s the perfect way to put all of our tips into 

play. 

What to avoid 
Those with a high EQ very rarely display the following traits, something for you to be 

mindful of. 

#44) Drama 

Emotionally intelligent people listen, offer sound advice and extend empathy to those who 

need it but they don’t permit others’ lives and emotions to effect or rule their own. 

#45) Complaining 

Complaining implies two things – one, that we are victims, and two, that there are no 

solutions to our problems. Rarely does an emotionally intelligent person feel victimised, 

and even more infrequently do they feel that a solution is beyond their grasp. So instead of 

looking for someone or something to blame, they think constructively and dissolve the 

solution in private. 

 
#46) Negativity 

Emotionally intelligent people have the ability to kerb cynical thoughts. They acknowledge 

that negative thoughts are just that – thoughts – and rely on facts to come to conclusions 

as well as being able to silence or zone out any negativity. 

#47) Dwelling on the past 

Those with high emotional intelligence choose to learn from the mistakes and choices they 

have made and instead of dwelling on the past are mindful to live in the now. 

#48) Sel shness 

Whilst a degree of sel shness is required to get ahead in life, too much can fracture 

relationships and cause disharmony. Try to avoid being overly sel sh and consider others 

needs. 

#49) Giving in to peer pressure 

Just because everyone else does something, they don’t feel compelled to follow suit if they 

don’t want to. They think independently, and never conform just to please other people. 

#50) Being overly critical 

people are only human and have the same motivations (and limitations) as you. Take the 

time to understand another person then communicate the change you want to see. 

By understanding and successfully applying emotional intelligence, you too can reach your 

full potential and achieve your goals.