Puppets of Mirth Race of Constucts

Puppets of mirth
Puppets of mirth are servants created by the King of faeries to entertain the royal family.
Blessed with the grace and impishness of the fae, puppets of mirth are talented fools,
jesters, harlequins, and tricksters.
Physical Description
Puppets of mirth stand about a head shorter than the average human, and are usually very
thin and gaunt. They wear bright and gaudy form-fitting tights or costumes, and make
heavy use of cosmetics. Many wear a painted mask.
Society
Puppets of mirth serve in the court of the fae as premier entertainers.
Relations
Puppets of mirth, by their nature, exist to entertain and to trick others. Elves and gnomes
can appreciate this, to an extent. Dwarves and half-orcs have a hard time tolerating a
puppet of mirth's shenanigans.
Alignment and Religion
Puppets of mirth are overwhelmingly chaotic. They tend to worship gods of comedy,
luck, roguishness, and gods revered by the fae.
Adventurers
Puppets of mirth are a zany lot whose mission is to inject comedy into the world. Good
puppets of mirth create comedy by entertaining others, while evil puppets of mirth create
situations of incredible tragedy and think it's funny.
Puppet of Mirth Racial Traits

 Living Construct Subtype: Puppets of mirth are sentient but ultimately artificial
beings, and as such have the features and traits of the living construct
subtype.Unlike constructs, living constructs have a Constitution score. They do
not get the bonus hit points due to their size, like normal constructs. Living
constructs do not die until they are at negative hit points equal to their
Constitution score, but are subject to the same rules for negative hit points as
other humanoid creatures..
 All living constructs have an Intelligence score of at least 1 and thus have skill
ranks and feats as appropriate for their Hit Dice.
 Dying living constructs have a +2 racial bonus to stabilization checks.
 Like constructs, living constructs are immune to paralysis and sleep effects.
 Unlike constructs, living constructs are not immune to disease, death effects,
energy drain, exhaustion, fatigue, mind-affecting, nausea, poison, stunning and
sickened effects, but they do get a +2 racial bonus to saving throws to resist them.
 Unlike constructs, living constructs are not immune to ability damage, ability
drain, bleed, necromancy effects (see below), negative levels, non-lethal damage,
effects that require a Fortitude save or death from massive damage.
 Living constructs do not need to eat, breath or sleep, but those with abilities that
require rest, like spellcasting, still require 8 hours in a relaxed state to regain
them.
 Spells from the conjuration (healing) subschool are only half effective on living
constructs, rounded down.
 Like constructs, living constructs do not heal naturally, but can be repaired using
an appropriate Craft skill (like armorsmithing, blacksmithing, gemcutting or
sculpting). Each check takes 8 hours and the number of hit points regained is
equal to the result of the Craft check -15.
 Living constructs can be raised, reincarnated and resurrected. They cannot be
reanimated as undead or deathless unless specifically stated otherwise.
 Living constructs do not get low-light vision or darkvision, unless stated
otherwise.
 Regardless of whether the creature type is either humanoid or construct, those
with the living construct subtype count as both humanoids (of the living construct
subtype) and constructs for extraordinary abilities, supernatural abilities, spell-like
effects, psi-like effects, feats, spells and psionic powers. This includes spells, like
Repair Light Damage, special weapon qualities, like Bane (construct), and class
abilities, like favored enemy (construct). If there a situation where the same effect
would affect humanoids and constructs differently, like Charm Person, assume
that the effect does apply and in the most severe applicable manner.

 +2 Dexterity, +2 Charisma, -2 Constitution: Puppets of mirth are lithe and
entertaining, but have fragile forms.
 Medium: Puppets of mirth are Medium creatures and have no bonuses or
penalties due to their size.
 Normal Speed: Puppets of mirth have a base speed of 30 feet.
 Low-Light Vision: Puppets of mirth can see twice as far as humans in conditions
of dim light.
 Joyful: Puppets of mirth receive a +2 racial saving throw bonus against all spells
and effects that alter mood (including fear and despair effects).
 Foolish: Puppets of mirth receive a +2 racial bonus on all Bluff, Disguise, and
Perform checks.
 Jester's Magic: Puppets of mirth add +1 to the DC of any saving throws against
enchantment spells that they cast. Puppets of mirth with a Charisma of 11 or
higher also gain the following spell-like abilities: 1/day - dancing lights, ghost
sound, prestidigitation, and hideous laughter*. The caster level for these effects is
equal to the puppet of mirth's level. The DC for these spells is equal to 10 + the
spell's level + the puppet of mirth's charisma modifier.
* As a 1st-level spell-like ability.
o Jester's Prowess (Alternate Racial Feature; replaces Jester's Magic):
Puppets of mirth have access to the Falling Anvil discipline regardless of
class. In addition, a puppet of mirth may choose one 1st-level strike from
the falling anvil discipline and use it once per encounter (as if she picked
up a strike with the Martial Study feat, although this does not count
against the number of times she may select this feat).
 Comedic Treasure Trove: A puppet of mirth is essentially a hollow shell filled

with funny objects. When a puppet of mirth dies, it pops like a balloon, and all of
its contents spill out onto the ground below it; these objects are various gag items,
the sum of which is not worth more than 5d4 gp. The types of objects that fill any
specific puppet of mirth depends on its personality and what it finds funny. In
order to revive a puppet of mirth, one of its component objects (either one that fell
out of the original body, or one that is otherwise purchased or obtained) must be
used to summon back its soul and reform the puppet. Some sample objects
include: whoopee cushions, playing cards, confetti, rubber ducks, candy, or
marbles.
 Languages: Puppets of mirth begin play speaking Common and Sylvan. Puppets
of mirth with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Aklo,
Celestial, Draconic, Elven, and Gnome.
New Feats
Last Laugh
When you let loose your treasure trove, you get the last laugh.
Prerequisites: Comedic treasure trove racial trait, character level 5
Benefits: When you die and activate your comedic treasure trove, every living creature
within a 60 ft. radius takes 1d6 damage per hit die you possessed, and must make a will
save (DC = 10 + 1/2 your hit dice + your charisma modifier) or laugh (as hideous
laughter) for another 1 round per two hit dice you possessed.
Just Plain Funny
Your sense of humor translates extremely well.
Prerequisites: Perform (comedy) 1 rank.
Benefits: Any effect similar to (and including) hideous laughter produced by you
"translates" perfectly regardless of type, and so creatures of different type do not receive
a +4 bonus on their saving throws. You gain a bonus equal to 1/4 your ranks in Perform
(comedy) to your caster level on all mind-affecting compulsion spells that you cast.
__________________
 Falling Anvil
It was said that the grand master of this discipline first came upon it when he
missed a turn at Albuquerque.* Some suggest that rather than a discipline that the way of
the Falling Anvil is actually a mental disorder. This is quite plausible, but if so it is a
mental disorder that those whose minds are attuned to the sublime way are especially
prone to. The concept that the sublime way has anything to do with this opening of the
way directly is firmly rejected by proponents of this theory. Rather they claim that those
who still have a small part of them self that wishes they weren't training so hard, or,
indeed that they had never taken up the sublime way at all. This part of them feels that the
power granted by such study really isn't worth the effort, and would rather simply listen
to a good tale they have heard 50 times before than to actually do anything particularly
productive. The opponents of this point of view claim that students of the Falling Anvil
find power in simplicity and ridiculousness. That appreciating that the universe is, in
some sense, one big joke, allows them to direct the tragedy of misfortune befalling others
that is at the core of that cosmic comedy at others while avoiding harm themselves.
Whatever the case, both sides agree that those who have set foot on this path are
extremely vexing foes and that they literally have the universe working in their favor. and
they KNOW it. Martial adepts who have not gone down this road may not be sure
EXACTLY what those who have know, but even such outsiders will acknowledge that
initiates of the Falling Anvil DO know it.**
* Credit for this line goes to Elliot20.

**Edited from suggestion by one Witty Dodo.
Because the Falling Anvil discipline was never officially taught at the Temple of
the Nine Swords or any similar center of training (although a few adepts even at the
temple "contracted" it, and rumors persist of it having been taught in secret so as to
preserve the temple's public image), most martial adepts do not know any maneuvers
from it, or even know it exists. Any martial adept can learn maneuvers from the Falling
Anvil discipline. Mechanically, there are two ways to master the discipline. The first is to
have been trained in it intentionally, via the inclusion of prank-wars and seeking the
services of bards or experts with ranks in Perform(Comedy) (often on the stages at
various taverns), or to have "contracted" it from the stress of your training regime as a
novice. If you choose to make a martial adept that has already been trained in or
contracted the Falling Anvil discipline, you simply replace one discipline that adept could
normally learn with maneuvers from with the Falling Anvil discipline. He loses the
associated skill of the replaced discipline as a class skill, but gains Bluff as a class skill.
The other way is to seek out a master of the Falling Anvil discipline–a martial
adept capable of using at least 5th-level maneuvers from the discipline–and training
under him. You must train for a month under the master, and spend 1,000 xp at the end of
your training. Alternatively you must suffer a psychotic episode, and spend at least a
month confined to a sanitarium, or other mental institution, being unsuccessfully treated.
This costs the same 1,000 xp. In either case, you gain the ability to learn maneuvers from
the Falling Anvil discipline, and add Bluff to your martial adept class’s list of class skills.
In addition, you may exchange your maneuvers known for maneuvers of the Falling
Anvil discipline. You may exchange one maneuver of each level, and the new maneuvers
you learn must be of the same level as the exchanged maneuvers, unlike normal.
The associated weapons for the Falling Anvil Discipline are as follows: All
improvised weapons*, bundle of dynamite, club, cannon (American Civil War era),
catapult, cosh (one-handed version of the sap), great club, Maul (AKA Giant Mallet),
spherical bomb, stick of dynamite, trebuchet (maybe?), sap, , and unarmed Strike. If the
practitioner is wearing a magical helmet (magical armor that includes a helmet counts)
then all types of spears also count as associated weapons (thanks to Ninetail for
suggesting this).
* particular favorites include: anvil, broom, cricket bat, 2x4, banana-creme pie,
frying pan, lightning-rail (AKA locomotive), Rolling Pin, Rubber Chicken, safe, seltzer
bottle, and tree-branch.
It should be noted that many Falling Anvil maneuvers refer to things appearing
over the target's head (usually falling on them). In no case does it matter what is above
the target's head before hand. The object appears as low as necessary if it is going to fall
on them, or the effect is created regardless of if the generating object actually comes into
existence if it isn't.
Also note that the ranged touch attacks generated by falling anvil maneuvers do
not provoke attacks of opportunity unless the maneuver specifically states that it does.
Tactical Analysis for players and GMs: The Falling Anvil Discipline provides a
mix of ranged, melee, and very strong defensive measures. The defensive measures are
somewhat limited in that almost all of them place you at some sort of disadvantage in
exchange for the protection they provide.
Maneuver and Stance List

1st LevelHide
Banana Peel Drop -- Strike -- Dropped banana peel trips opponents moving into square.1
Brick Drop -- Strike -- Brick falls out of the sky, dealing 2d6 damage on a successful
ranged touch attack.
Everyday Arsenal -- Boost -- Attacks with improvised weapon counts as chaotic aligned
silver magic weapons for purposed of DR, Regeneration, etc.
Pie to the Face -- Strike -- Blind opponent for 1 round
Seltzer Spray -- Strike -- 10' range, dazes opponent on failed save.
Stance of the Loony -- Stance -- Convert hit-point damage you take to Wisdom burn at a
rate dependent on initiator level.
Zany Mind (AKA Moment of Imperfect Mind) -- Counter -- Replace failed will save with
Bluff check, but if you succeed you become Confused for one round.
2nd Level
Eye Poke -- Strike -- Opponent Blinded for 1 round and takes 2 wisdom damage.
Extending Boxing Glove -- Strike -- Ranged attack that deals damage as per your
unarmed strike plus half your initiator level and by-passes damage/regeneration as
if you were a monk of IL+4 level, but Chaotic replaces Lawful.
Unlucky Raincloud -- Strike -- Small cloud appears over opponent, lightning-bolt does
3d6 electricity damage (Reflex half).
Zany Dodge (AKA Action without Thought) -- Counter -- Replace failed reflex save with
Bluff check, but if you succeed you become Confused(Replace with "Fall
Prone"?) for one round.
3rd Level
Anvil Drop -- Strike -- Anvil falls out of sky, dealing 5d6 damage on a successful ranged
touch attack. ((Equivalent to Fan the Flames maneuver.))
Banana Bunch Peel Throw -- Strike -- Thrown banana peels trip opponents moving into
squares.1
Dust Cloud Melee -- Stance -- any melee you are involved in is enveloped in a dust cloud
and prevents flanking, but not sneak attacks (at half dice, rounded down).
Stretchy Dodge -- Stance -- All attacks on you count as touch attacks and can't make
harmful attacks normally, but increase your AC to and every 3rd miss allows you to
immediately make an effective attack.
Unwelcome Kiss --Strike-- Touch attack stuns opponent for one round.
Zany Anatomy -- Counter -- Replace failed fortitude save with Bluff check, but if you
succeed you are Nauseated for one round.
4th Level
Giant Slingshot -- (other) -- Launch yourself and companions great distances, but take
damage.
Give Bomb -- Strike -- Opposed Bluff checks with opponent, loser takes 10d6 fire
damage.
Rubber Chicken Wack -- Strike -- reduce your opponent's sanity.
Safe Drop -- Strike -- Magical, Chaotic, Silvered, Adimintine Chest falls out of sky,
dealing 6d6 Bludgeoning damage on successful ranged touch attack. (Deflected as per
splash weapon on miss?)
Storm-cloud of Misfortune -- Strike -- Small cloud appears over opponent, lightning-bolt
does 6d6 electricity damage (Reflex half).
5th Level
Be Wary Wary Quwiet -- Stance -- Replace Hide and Move Silently checks with Bluff
checks.
Piano Drop -- Strike -- Piano Falls out of the sky, dealing 11d6 Bludgeoning damage in
10'x10' area. Creates difficult terrain.
Pull Yourself Together -- Counter -- Each Slashing attack that hits you deals no damage
or secondary effects, but cuts off one limb or head, or cuts you in half at waist. May re-
attach one part as a move action if physically possible, or as a full round action if not
physically possible.
Wacky Attacky -- Stance -- Your blows do sanity damage as well as physical.
6th Level
Bouncing Escape -- Counter -- Negate attack, gain effects of Jump spell and 50% bonus
to all movement rates for 1d4 rounds, but must only take movement actions for those
rounds, and must end each round further away from opponent that the previous round.
Fine China Drop -- Strike -- Opponent takes 15d6(half bludgeoning, half slashing)
Chaotic and Magical on failed save, on successful save, becomes flat-footed for next
round.
Give Bundle of Dynamite -- Strike -- Opposed Bluff checks with opponent, loser takes
15d6 fire damage.
Misfire -- Counter -- Opponent attacks self with trap, crossbow, magic item held in hand,
or ranged touch spell.
Paper Thin Disguise -- Stance -- Use bluff skill for disguise checks, no penalties for cross
dressing, if cross dressed, gain +5 bonus on seduction checks against individuals who
ordinary wouldn't be attracted to you.
7th Level
Accursed Thunderhead -- Strike -- Huge Cloud appears over opponent, lightning bolt
strikes for 10d6 electricity damage(Reflex Half) and 2d6 sonic damage(No Save).
Rain of Banana Peels -- Strike -- Banana peels rain from the sky around you, tripping
opponents who enter each square.1
Paint Tunnel -- Strike -- Full round action to paint tunnel on vertical surface. One round
later train deals 20d6 damage in 10' wide path perpendicular as viewed from above to the
vertical surface, length is 20' per initiator level. If surface is non-magical you may use
tunnel as Phase Door before train exits.
Rubber Chicken Wack, Greater -- Strike -- Devastating blow to sanity.
8th Level
Give Box of Dynamite -- Strike -- Opposed Bluff checks with opponent, loser takes 22d6
fire damage.
Not Looking Down -- Stance -- gain horizontal-only Air Walk effect as long as you
remain flat-footed to attacks coming from the sides or below.
Viking Longboat Drop -- Strike -- Longboat falls out of sky, dealing 10d6 bludgeoning
damage in a 10'x50' rectangle (but may be rotated at odd angles in horizontal plane). Area
struck becomes difficult terrain. (Reflex half???)
Worthless Weapon! -- Counter -- On a miss, opponent must make Will save, or spend
next round attempting to sunder that weapon/magic device. If there is an
explosion/retributive strike, you take no damage.
9th Level
Unnecessary Burial -- Strike -- Attack entombs opponent alive(complete with tomb-stone
and a single lily). Depth below surface equals your Bluff check in inches.
1Thanks to zerombr for the basic idea of including banana slips.
If you enter an empty room with a door or climbs into a container with a lid, the
subject can teleport himself of another similar empty object within 50ft. When you
teleport into a room or container, you expose your head and provoke an attack of
opportunity. You must know the location of the room or container you wish to teleport
into. Normally, each teleport is a move action but as an immediate action, you may
transport yourself into a room or container if another creature opens the door or lid. You
may transport yourself into a room or container up to one time per caster level.
Maneuvers and Stances

Accursed Thunderhead
Falling Anvil (Strike) [Chaos]
Level: Swordsage 7
Prerequisite: 3 Falling Anvil maneuvers, Non-lawful alignment
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 90 feet
Target: One creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex Half/Partial
"Interesting weather we are having!"
A great mass of roiling cloud, black as pitch, forms above your designated foe (or
doesn't if their isn't enough room for its 50 foot diameter and 200 foot height). In either
case a lightning bolt strikes down from above to deal 10d6 electrical damage. A Reflex
save DC (17 + your wisdom modifier) is permitted for half the electricity damage. No
save is permitted against the 2d6 sonic damage the thunder deals to the target. The cloud
(if it exists in the first place) vanishes immediately afterward.
This maneuver is a supernatural ability.
Anvil Drop
Level: Swordsage 3
Prerequisite: 1 Falling Anvil maneuver, non-lawful alignment
Range: 45 feet
Klang!
You gaze coolly at a selected creature and an anvil(or other GM approved object)
falls towards them (no matter how low the ceiling may be). It strikes as a ranged touch
attack, and deals 5d6 bludgeoning damage if successful. The anvil(or other object)
disappears at the end of combat. The object is magical and chaotic for the purposes of
bypassing damage reduction, stopping regeneration, and other such things. If your
initiator level is at least 16th then the anvil is made out of adamintine. If your initiator
level is at least 21st then the anvil counts as an Epic weapon for purposes of bypassing
damage reduction, stopping regeneration, and other such things.
Banana Peel Drop

Level: Swordsage 1
Prerequisite: non-lawful alignment
Range: Your Unarmed/Natural Attack Reach
Target: One Square
Duration: Until Successful Trip or End of Battle
WHOOPS!
You drop a banana peel into any square you could target with a natural melee or
unarmed melee attack (you may move away from it without it vanishing or becoming
inactive). The banana peel has an AC of 9 and 2 hitpoints, but is not CONSIDERED
damaged by anything other than Acid, Cold (which it takes half damage from),
Electricity, or Fire. If anyone other than you enters that square they are subject to a trip
attempt (this is specifically NOT an attack of opportunity). They do not get an attack of
opportunity either on you or the banana peel. In lew of a touch attack by the banana peel
(which can't move under its own power), the target is required to make a Will Save with a
DC of 11 + your Wisdom modifier. If they fail, they step on the peel. In the case of
someone trying to jump over the square with the peel in it if they fail the Will save they
jump onto the peel instead of their intended destination (this consumes movement only
for the amount of distance actually traveled, not the distance originally intended). Flying
creatures are not effected. For purposes of this Trip attempt the peel counts as a medium
sized creature with a strength modifier equal to your Charisma or Wisdom modifier
(whichever is higher), and the defender ALSO counts as medium sized for this purpose
(regardless of actual size) and MUST oppose the trip attempt with Dexterity, NOT
Strength. Stability bonuses apply as usual. If the defender is tripped the peel vanishes,
otherwise the defender is immune to further trip attempts by that particular banana peel
for one round. The peel can not itself be tripped. A character who succeeds on their will
save to avoid a trip attempt may pick up that particular banana peel and put in a safe
place (such as shoving it through their belt) as a standard action that provokes attacks of
opportunity provided they don't leave the square before they do so. The peel loses all
special properties as soon as it is picked up (except that it still vanishes at the end of
combat).
If two or more "active" banana peels end up laying in the same square, then the
last ones to enter the square disappear.
If you do not have a banana with you to use for the peel, then activating this
maneuver is a supernatural ability, however even something that would suppress a
supernatural ability can not make the banana peel disappear or stop functioning
prematurely once it has been brought into existence.
(Thanks to zerombr for the basic idea of including banana slips.)
Banana Bunch Peel Throw

Level: Swordsage 3
Prerequisite: 1 Falling Anvil Maneuver, non-lawful alignment
Initiation Action: 1 standard OR full round action
Range: 30 feet
Target: One Square per 2 initiator levels
WHOOPS! WHOOPS! WHOOPS!
As per Banana Peel Drop except as above, the will save DC is 13 + your wisdom
modifier, and that if you do it as a full round action, then your allies are immune to trip
attempts by the peels. Each Banana Peel vanishes separately. More than one can attempt a
trip attempt on a given opponent in a turn.
If you are not holding a number of banana peels (already off their respective
bananas) equal to the number of squares to be targeted, then activating this maneuver is a
supernatural ability, however even something that would suppress a supernatural ability
can not make the banana peel disappear or stop functioning prematurely once it has been
brought into existence.
Be Wary Wary Quwiet

Falling Anvil (Stance) [Chaos]
Level: Swordsage 5
Prerequisite: 2 Falling Anvil maneuvers, non-lawful alignment
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance
We're hunting Twolls... heh heh heh.

You find it much easier to use body language to convince people they don't see or
hear you than to actually attempt to remain undetectable... in fact you are so good at it, it
even works on creatures such as vermin, undead, and constructs. As long as you are in
this stance you may substitute bluff checks for hide and move silently checks. If you do
this with a hide check then you do not require cover or concealment to be allowed the
check. If your initiator level is at least 18 then you can make such bluff checks even
while being observed.
Bouncing Escape
Falling Anvil (Counter) [Chaos]
Level: Swordsage 6
Initiation Action: 1 Immediate Action
Range: Personal
Target: Self
Duration: 1d4 rounds
"Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!"
Immediately after a successful attack roll against you, you may cause that attack
to instead miss. You gain the effects of Jump spell with caster level equal to your initiator
level and 50% bonus to all movement rates for 1d4 rounds, but must only take movement
actions for those rounds, and must end each round further away from that opponent than
you started.
Brick Drop
Level: Swordsage 1
Prerequisite: Non-lawful alignment
Range: 20 feet
Crack!
You smile crookedly at a selected creature and a brick or a moderately sized
flowerpot complete with moist soil and a blossoming daisy falls towards them (no matter
how low the ceiling may be, or even if there is no ceiling). It strikes as a ranged touch
attack, and deals 2d6 bludgeoning damage if successful. The brick or flowerpot
(including flower and soil) disappears at the end of combat.
Dust Cloud Melee

Level: Swordsage 3
Prerequisite: 1 Falling Anvil maneuver, Non-lawful alignment
Range: Chain of Melee
Target: You and any group of meleeing creatures you are a part of.
Duration: Stance
Select any enemy who is within your threatened area and whose reach (not
necessarily threatened area...) you are within. Then select one enemy or ally who is
within the reach of you or that enemy, and repeat this process until you are satisfied or
you have selected a number of individuals equal to your initiator level (not including
yourself). The GM should then select a spot that he judges to be roughly in the middle of
the group of all selected creatures (GMs who have the requisite knowledge-base should
guesstimate the center of mass of the group). Each individual then takes a 5' step towards
that spot unless blocked using whatever modes of movement it is capable of. Repeat the
5' steps until no more such steps can be taken. In no case does such movement count
against the distance a creature may move or provoke attacks of opportunity. All
individuals in the group cease to threaten any area. Remove all such creatures from the
map-board and replace them with a Dust Cloud Melee that takes up all squares that were
part of any member creatures space, and any square/cube surrounded by such spaces in at
least one plane. For two-D maps this simply means that any set of squares completely
surrounded by the spaces of such creatures is also part of the Dust Cloud Melee.
You may not end this stance voluntarily, including by switching to another stance, as long
as you are a member of the group.
Creatures in the group may not be attacked by creatures outside the group with
melee attacks, and all such ranged attacks target a random member of the group if single
target, or every member of the group if it is an AoE whose area contains at least one full
square/cube of the Dust Cloud Melee. Members of the group may not use ranged attacks
except if they are multi-target or AoE, and may only specify "a random enemy in the
group" or "a random ally in the group" when using a melee or touch range effect or
attack. Area of effect effects used by members of the group are considered to have all
members of the group in their area, and may be centered at any point within the Dust
Cloud Melee for purposes of determining if creatures that are NOT a member of the
group are effected.
Even though flanking is not possible within the cloud, any person involved in it
may add half of any sneak attack dice they get to all damage they deal to others in the
group. This does NOT apply to sudden strike or skirmish.
A creature may attempt to exit the Dust Cloud as if it were a grapple. If successful the
GM removes a number of squares of the dust cloud equal to the exiting creature's space,
and then the person controlling that character places them anywhere adjacent to the
remaining dust cloud. If there are no animate creatures still in the cloud, then the stance
ends and all corpses/remnants are removed by the above procedure.
A creature that is adjacent to at least 2 squares of the melee may enter it. Remove their
piece from the board, and add the squares of their space to the dust cloud.
Everyday Arsenal
Falling Anvil (Boost) [Chaos]
Level: Swordsage 1
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 2 rounds (?)
"Clang! Clang! Clang!" goes the frying pan! "Ring! Ring! Ring!" goes your skull!
For the duration of this boost you take no penalties for wielding improvised
weapons, and any improvised weapons you wield count as Silver, Magical and Chaotic
for purposed of DR, Regeneration, etc. If your initiator level is 21 or higher they also
count as Epic for such purposes.
Eye Poke
Level: Swordsage 2
Range: Melee
Duration: 1 round/Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will Partial
N'yuk, N'yuk, N'yuk!
They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul... you use this connection to
strike at both sight and sanity. As part of this maneuver make a touch attack at -4 to hit
(because of the precision of the target). If you hit the target is blinded until the beginning
of your next turn, and must make a will save DC 12 + your wisdom modifier, or take 2
points of wisdom damage. This attack deals no hit-point damage.
Extending Boxing Glove

Level: Swordsage 2
Initiation Action: 1 Standard Action
Range: 60 feet
Target: 1 opponent or object
Saving Throw: Fortitude Negates Stun
You produce a boxing glove on the end of a one handed device build around a set
of lazy tongs and send the glove forth to strike an opponent. This deals damage exactly as
if it were an unarmed strike performed by you, employing the Stunning Fist and
Improved Unarmed Strike feats. Use your strength modifier for the damage bonus, and
your dexterity modifier for the to-hit modifier. The DC to resist the stunning effect is
10+1/2 your initiator level+your wisdom modifier, and this does not count against your
limit of number of times per day you can use the Stunning Fist feat (assuming you have
it, which is utterly irrelevant to the execution of this maneuver). You also gain bonus
damage equal to 1/2 your initiator level. Depending on your initiator level the glove may
gain various properties for the purposes of bypassing damage reduction, regeneration, etc.
These are summarized on the following table.
Fine China Drop

Level: Swordsage 6
Prerequisite: 3? Falling Anvil maneuvers, non-lawful alignment
Range: 60 feet
Duration: Instantaneous/One Round
Saving Throw: Reflex Alters
Crash! Shatter! Break!
You gaze coolly at a selected creature and an several shelves worth of masterwork
serving ceramic-ware falls on and around them them (no matter how low the ceiling may
be). If strikes the ground it the target takes 15d6(half bludgeoning, half slashing) ((change
to 10d6 to balance with Accursed Thunderhead? Or power that one up...)), for purposes
of overcoming damage reduction, regeneration, etc the china counts as Chaotic and
Magically aligned. This damage may be negated with a reflex save to catch the falling
china, however, if the save is successful, the target is flatfooted and may not take any
other actions until it it takes a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity, or a
full round action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity to safely dispose of the
china. The save has a DC of 16 + your wisdom modifier and may be voluntarily failed as
normal. The target is aware of the consequences of both succeeding and failing the save.
The china disappears immediately after it deals damage or is safely disposed of.
Giant Slingshot
Falling Anvil [Chaos]
Level: Swordsage 4
Prerequisite: Two Falling Anvil maneuvers, non-lawful alignment
Initiation Action: 3 full round actions
Range: 200 feet per initiator level
Target: You and up to 1 allied creature per 3 initiator levels (familiars do not count
against this limit)
"I recommend ACME brand giant slingslots!.... Waaahoohooey!!!!!"
A kit appears in front of you. You may select an aim point, then spend all your
actions for the next 3 rounds constructing a giant slingshot on any surface solid enough to
walk on. The requisite number of people may load themselves into the slingshot on the
third round and you may fire yourselves to the aim point with miss rules as if you each
were a catapult stone fired from a catapult (You may substitute Bluff for Profession(Siege
Engineer) if you wish). Note that the range is potentially much greater than the range of
even a heavy catapult. You all take 1d6 damage per 500 feet or fraction there-of traveled
and fall prone on landing. Half this damage (rounded down) is non-lethal, the rest is
lethal. Natural and magical flight, Featherfall and all other abilities that could alter the
passengers' path of travel or reduce the damage are inactive until after they land. A few
notes:
 This is NOT a teleportation effect, thus you MUST have a half-plausible
ballistic path to the target area.
 You yourself MUST be one of the passengers or the device will not
function, and the catch is designed to be released from the cup of the
slingshot.
 The size of the passengers is completely irrelevant. It is entirely possible
to load yourself, a druid, a paladin, the paladin's warhorse, and the druid's
dire elephant animal companion into the slingshot and launch all of you
successfully. (And, perhaps more importantly, it is ridiculously funny to
boot... for bonus points fill up any unused slots you have by having your
party members summon the largest creatures they can.)
The summoning and vanishing of the materials created by this effect is a supernatural
effect, but their use is not.
Give Bomb
Level: Swordsage 4
Prerequisite: Two Falling Anvil maneuvers, non-lawful alignment
Range: Target's reach or yours, whichever is greater
Target: One Creature
"A present for you!"
A spherical bomb with a lit fuse leading out from it appears in your hand. As part
of this maneuver you may attempt to give it to an opponent whose reach you are within,
and/or who is within your reach. At the very least they must free up an appendage to take
it if they have such an appendage, dropping an object to the ground in their space if
necessary. Make an opposed bluff check against the target. The loser takes 10d6 fire
damage as the bomb explodes in their grasp (or on top of their head if they have no
manipulative appendages). The target of this ability must have a charisma score.
Give Box of Dynamite

Level: Swordsage 8
"Here... hold this just a sec... I insist."
A moderately sized wooden box with many sticks of dynamite with a lit fuses sticking
out of it haphazardly from it appears in two of your hands. As part of this maneuver you
may attempt to give it to an opponent whose reach you are within, and/or who is within
your reach. At the very least they must free up an appendage (if at least 1 size catagory
larger than you) or two (if the same size class as you or smaller) to take it if they have
such a(n) appendage(s), dropping one or more objects to the ground in their space if
damage as the box explodes in their grasp (or on top of their head if they have no
Give Bundle of Dynamite

Level: Swordsage 6
"Fire in the hole!"
A bundle of 7 sticks of dynamite with a lit fuse leading out from it appears in your hand.
As part of this maneuver you may attempt to give it to an opponent whose reach you are
within, and/or who is within your reach. At the very least they must free up an appendage
to take it if they have such an appendage, dropping an object to the ground in their space
if necessary. Make an opposed bluff check against the target. The loser takes 15d6 fire
Give Firecracker
Level: Swordsage 2
Prerequisite: One Falling Anvil maneuver, non-lawful alignment
"These are fun, you should try one!"
A moderately sized fire-cracker with a lit fuse appears in your hand. As part of this
maneuver you may attempt to give it to an opponent whose reach you are within, and/or
who is within your reach. At the very least they must free up an appendage to take it if
they have such an appendage, dropping an object to the ground in their space if
Misfire
Level: Swordsage 6
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Unlimited or 50 feet per initiator level
Target: 1 attacking creature
Duration: Until end of combat, or special.
Saving Throw: Will Negates
You may use this ability immediately after any trap, wand, staff, or attack with a physical
weapon (including a natural weapon or unarmed attack) on you fails to have any effect on
you. The attacker must make a will save with a DC of 16 + your wisdom modifier or
suffer a disabling effect on the device or limb that was used in the attack, and the attack is
also rebounded on them as if they had targeted themselves with it, or centered it on
themselves. The exception to the rebounding is traps, which only target their creator(s) if
they are within 50 feet per initiator level of said trap (if some are and some aren't then
only those that are are targetted). This is regardless of the normal range limitations
(however small or large) or the mechanisms or spells involved. The exact nature of the
disabling effect varies with the type of device or weapon:
 Wand, Staff, other spell trigger or spell completion device, or psionic etc
equivalents of those things, which was not completely used up in the
original attack: Dispelled until end of combat.
 Weapon: Minor break (bowstring snaps, grip wrappings on handle come
undone rendering so unpredictably slippery that attacking with it is
impossible, etc), but requires Craft or Appraise check DC 15+IL to
recognize not massively damaged. A DC 15 craft check(in an appropriate
craft skill) that takes 1 minute to attempt may be used to repair the
damage. This may be retried an unlimited number of times without penalty
other than the time used up and may be performed untrained.
 Limb used to make a natural or unarmed attack sprained to unusability
until end of combat, or a successful Fortitude save with a DC equal to the
original will save caused by this maneuver. One such fortitude save
allowed at the end of each of victim's turns.
 One-Time traps: No additional effect.
 Manual-Reset Traps: Repairs with a DC equal to the original construction,
and a cost equal to 1/4 of the original must be made before the device will
function again on anyone but its original creator(s).
Not Looking Down

Level: Swordsage 8
Initiation Action: 1 Swift Action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance
By not looking down you can willfully ignore the effects of gravity. This grants the
effects of Air Walk as long as you avoid looking down, however you can only climb 5' for
every 20' of horizontal motion. Unfortunately this means that all creatures that do not
have at least some part of their body at least 5' above you are effectively invisible to you.
Paint Tunnel
Level: Swordsage 7
Initiation Action: 1 full round action (until the beginning of next turn)
Range: 20 feet/initiator level
Target: 10 foot wide path 20 feet per initiator level long.
Duration: 2 rounds/Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex Half
Chugga Chugga! Woo! Woo!!!
You whip out a bucket of black paint, and a paint-brush and paint 10 foot square area of a
reasonably vertical surface (even a Wall of Force will do) within your reach in the shape
of a solid arch. The bottom of the arch much touch a reasonably horizontal surface. You
complete the painting just before your next turn. You can be interrupted (by being bull-
rushed away from the area for instance), but concentration checks for taking damage are
NOT required. Once completed, a series of conductor stones appear heading
perpendicularly out from the arch along the ground (or into mid-air if the surface stops,
such as if you did this on a piece of disconnected masonry floating on the elemental plane
of air). A vague foreboding warns all who notice the stones (DC 0 spot check) that being
too close to them is extremely hazardous. If the painted surface is non-magical then until
the turn after that you (and ONLY you), may use it as a Passwall effect with a caster level
equal to your initiator level. At the end of this period a lightning rail pulling many cars
runs the length of the pathway so quickly it counts as an instantaneous effect. The
conductor stones and lightning rail immediately vanish when the end of the pathway is
reached. The lighting rail train is 10 feet wide, and the pathway has a length equal to 20
feet per your initiator level, or until it runs into a vertical surface, in which case a second
false tunnel appears when the train does, and remains just long enough for the train to
disappear into it. All in the path of the train take 20d6 bludgeoning damage, but may
make a reflex save equal to 17 + your wisdom modifier for half damage. The train counts
as a cold-iron, Chaotic aligned magic weapon for the purposes of damage reduction,
regeneration, etc etc. If the initiator level is 21 or greater, the train also counts as an Epic
weapon.
Paper Thin Disguise

Falling Anvil (Stance) [Chaos][Mind-Affecting]
Level: Swordsage 3
Initiation Action: 1d3x10 minutes or 1 full round action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance
While in this stance, you may substitute Bluff checks for Disguise checks. You still
require a minimal amount of props/make-up, but anything sufficient for a children's play
supported only be the minimal sewing, carpentry, etc skills of the participants will do.
Better materials do not improve your disguise checks (so a masterwork disguise kit is of
no particular help), but if you have at least 5 ranks in Bluff you DO get the usual +2
synergy bonus to disguise checks. The disguise MUST be extreme enough that you DO
NOT get the +5 bonus for "Minor details only". For this reason you do not get any
bonuses to the disguise for form-altering magic such as Alter Self, Disguise Self,
Polymorph, or Shapechange You take no penalties for attempting to disguise yourself as
another races, gender, or age category and there is no limit on the height/weight
differences or penalty for such. Opposed Spot checks still get the bonuses for familiarity
listed in the disguise skill. Attacking causes you to exit this stance. If you exit this stance,
any disguise automatically fails against all observers and those particular individuals gain
immunity to the effects of this stance for a number of days equal to their hit-dice. Note
however that this stance is considered to continue until you change it. Not even death
causes you to be considered to exit the stance, although conceivably mind-affecting
magic can make you exit it (and attacking ends it).
You gain a +5 bonus on any seduction related checks against a creature fooled by this
disguise that would reasonably find your disguised form attractive, PROVIDED they
would NOT find your non-disguised form at all attractive in a romantic/sexual way.
You can chose to create the props in question, but they will always be of very poor
quality when viewed as a disguise, may not exceed 50 GP actual value, and last only as
long as you stay in this stance. In this case donning a disguise only ever takes a single
full-round action. If you use any of the abilities in this paragraph, this stance counts as a
supernatural ability.
Since this is a Mind-Affecting effect, certain types of creatures may see through the
disguise automatically.
Last edited by DracoDei; 2012-04-28 at 04:54 PM. Reason: Clarified some of the banana
peel stuff.
Playing: Timoci in 100th level Pentastalt game.
Running: Ruceeglaelsktinag IC OOC (Now accepting applications via PM for anyone
interested when/if I start this up again)
Equestria Begins (Post Hearth's-Warming era My Little Pony game): New Recruiting,
Original Recruiting, OOC, IC
For everything else (including my extensive homebrew) see: Extended Signature
My Homebrew is meant to be used, but, if you do, PLEASE tell me how it goes.
 2009-08-26, 09:03 AM (ISO 8601)
 Spoilers
- Top - End - #4
DracoDei
Titan in the Playground

Join Date
May 2007
Location
Near Atlanta,GA USA
Gender
Re: (3.5) [Discipline] Falling Anvil v.2 (P.E.A.C.H.)

Piano Drop
Level: Swordsage 5
Range: 90 feet
Target: 10 foot square
Duration: Instantaneous/End of Combat
Crash! (In C sharp, B Flat, and F minor)
A master-work grand piano (or an upright if solid walls connected by a ceiling block off
part of the area) falls in the area, becoming smashed to pieces in the process (although
Make Whole or similar effects may restore it), making the area difficult terrain, and
dealing 11d6 damage to each creature in the area. The piano counts as a Chaotic aligned
magic weapon for the purposes of damage reduction, regeneration, etc etc. If the initiator
level is 21 or greater, the piano also counts as an Epic weapon. A reflex save is permitted
for half damage and the DC is 15 + your wisdom modifier. The piano (usual in the form
of wreckage, but even if repaired) disappears at the end of combat.
Pie to the Face

Level: Swordsage 1
Range: Melee
Target: One Opponent
Duration: 1 round
One of the oldest and most simple strikes in the repertoire of the demented is the simple
pie to the face.
Producing a banana creme pie from some eldritch dimension, attempt to deliver it to your
opponents face. The pie does no damage, but if you succeed on the touch attack then the
opponent is blinded for one round, or until they spend a move action to clear their eyes.
Pull Yourself Together

Level: Swordsage 5
Initiation Action: One free action (Immediate?)
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 round
Look ma! Cold-cuts!
You may activate this maneuver any time you take slashing damage. That damage, and all
other slashing damage you take for the next full round is negated. Secondary effects, such
as poison are unaffected. However each attack that hits painlessly severs some part of
your body, if the weapon has the vorpal quality and your head (or at least one of your
heads if you have more than one) is currently attached with part is always a head. This
does not affect your ability to control you body from a anatomical point of view, although
the GM may impose penalties for unusual perspectives. If it would be physically possible
for you to do so, you may re-attach a body-part by holding it to the stump as a move
action or standard action. If it would not be possible (for instance if both your arms were
cut off at the shoulder and you had fallen prone) then you may cause one sever to rejoin
for no attiquitely(sp) explained reason as a full-round action. If any sever persists for a
number of rounds greater than 1/2 your initiator level then it becomes as if that part had
been cut off with a blade. Bleeding may commence at the GMs discretion and you are
probably going to want a *Regeneration*, or if was the head, a *Raise Dead* or
something. The following table is used for determining where each severe happens.
Rain of Banana Peels

Level: Swordsage 7
Initiation Action: 1 standard OR full round action
Range: 30 feet
Target: Every square within range
"Ashes! Ashes! You all fall down!"
Banana peels rain from the sky or ceiling.
As per Banana Peel Drop except as above, that the Will save DC is 17 + your wisdom
modifier, and that if you do it as a full round action, then your allies are immune to trip
attempts by the peels. Each Banana Peel vanishes separately. More than one can attempt a
trip attempt at a given opponent in a turn.
Activating this maneuver is a supernatural ability, however even something that would
suppress a supernatural ability can not make the banana peel disappear or stop
functioning prematurely.
Rubber Chicken Wack

Level: Swordsage 4
Range: Melee
You produce a rubber chicken from thin air, and attack your foe with it, striking at his
very sanity. As part of this maneuver, make a touch attack with the rubber chicken it
produces. If it hits it deals no hit-point damage, but your opponent must make a Sanity
check and take 1 / (Your Initiator level divided by 3) Sanity loss. This loss may not
exceed your ranks in Knowledge(Forbidden Lore).
Rubber Chicken Wack, Greater

Level: Swordsage 7
Range: Melee
You produce a rubber chicken, modeled on either a celestial or fiendish chicken,

whichever matches your alignment most closely, from thin air, and attack your foe with
it, striking a mighty blow to his very sanity. As part of this maneuver, make a touch attack
with the rubber chicken it produces. If it hits it deals no hit-point damage, but your
opponent must make a Sanity check and take 1 / (Your Initiator level divided by 2) Sanity
loss. This loss may not exceed your ranks in Knowledge(Forbidden Lore).
Safe Drop
Level: Swordsage 4
Range: 75 feet
Duration: Instantaneous/End of Combat
A large adamintine chest, coated in Silver-Sheen, and enchanted as a magic, chaotic

weapon, falls on a opponent. The chest deals 9d6 damage, and a reflex save versus a DC
of 14 + your wisdom modifier is allowed for half damage. The chest is a cube 3 feet on a
side and remains until the end of combat. The integral lock is DC 35, And the lid requires
a DC 30 strength check to pop. If opened, there is a 70% chance the chest proves to
contain three Tiny penguins (who might have been in danger of suffocation if penguins
weren't very good at holding their breaths), otherwise it contains a fine portrait in a gilded
frame featuring one of the initiator's most embarrassing and/or painful memories. The
chest and all it contains/-ed vanish at the end of combat.
Seltzer Spray
Level: Swordsage 1
Range: 10 feet
Duration: 1 round
Saving Throw: Fortitude Negates
You whip a seltzer bottle out of no-where and spray it at your target. They must make a
fortitude save DC 11 + your wisdom modifier or be dazed for one round.
Storm-cloud of Mis-Fortune
Level: Swordsage 4
Range: 30 feet
Flying in with incredible velocity a Small Raincloud pauses above the target just long
enough to produce a lightning bolt that strikes them for 6d6 damage. This damage may be
halved if they succeed a DC (14 + your wisdom modifier) Reflex save.
Stretchy Dodge
Level: Swordsage 3
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance
While in this stance replace your armor class (including flat-footed, touch, etc) with your
10 + total modifier to Bluff Checks and gain the Mettle, Slippery Mind, and Improved
Evasion abilities.
For every third attack(including spells that cause you to roll a saving throw and such like)
by a true foe or someone under the influence of a Dominate spell by a true foe that fails
to have any effect on you you, you may make one attack at an opponent who has missed
you within the last round. This count carries over from round to round for as long as you
maintain this stance, but once you earn an attack you must make it immediately or it is
wasted. This attack may be an attack action, or any maneuver or offensive spell that may
be performed as a Swift, Immediate, Free, or Standard Action. There is no limit to the
number of actions you may make in this way per round.
While in this stance you may take no actions except:

1. Ending this Stance (usually by switching to another one).
2. Making Counters that do not allow movement or anything that might be
considered offensive including attacks.
3. Using a non-attacking action to refresh one or more of your maneuvers.
4. Making strikes that have an effect on your allies, and/or a non-movement
effect on you. You may not move as a result of such a strike, and all effects
of the strike on your enemies are negated. This is useful for such
maneuvers as Stone Bones, and Crusader's Strike.
5. Making the attacks this stance specifically grants you
This prohibition includes, but is not limited to, actions granted by White Raven
Maneuvers performed by your allies and attacks of opportunity
You may not fight defensively or use Combat Expertese, or Devoted Bulwark (or other
feats that increase your AC, with the sole exception of Dodge) while making such a
strike, but you may use feats such as Stone Power.
Older version of Stretchy Dodge for back-up purposes, and use in the Age of Warriors
Testing (Zany)
Spoiler
Show
Stance of the Loony

Level: Swordsage 1
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance
You can survive almost any attack... but at the cost of your sanity. You may convert
incoming hitpoint damage to wisdom burn. This effect occurs after damage reduction,
and you may convert some, all, or none of the damage as you take it. This does nothing to
alter any other effects other than hitpoint damage, even if you reduce the damage taken to
zero(you can't reduce it further than zero). The conversion rate varies based on your
Initiator level as explained on the following table.
Unlucky Raincloud
Level: Swordsage 2
Range: 30 feet
"Every little cloud, likes to sing <electrical sizzle> aloud!" Wareck the Pugilist werebear,
while raiding a nest of giant bees for honey.
A Tiny Raincloud zooms in from parts unknown and parks itself directly over the target's
head just long enough to deliver a miniature lightning bolt to them for 3d6 damage. A
reflex save with a DC of 12 + your wisdom modifier is permitted for half damage.
Unnecessary Burial(AKA Strike of Perfect Ridiculousness)

Level: Swordsage 9
Range: Melee
You kill your target automatically if you injure them even slightly... well... for certain
values of "kill".
As part of this strike make a melee attack, if it deals damage, then a hole instantly digs
itself directly behind the target struck, and they fall prone into it, then the fill material
(fist sized rocks if the surface was originally solid stone) fills in the hole above them. A
tombstone listing their name, their date of birth, and the current date rises out of the head
of the tomb, and a single white lily grows in the center of the fill material (it will be short
lived unless the location can support it normally, or if it is transplanted). The depth they
are below the surface of the ground is equal to your bluff check in inches.
Unwelcome Kiss
Level: Swordsage 3
Range: Melee
Duration: 1d3+1 rounds
Ignoring all laws of social propriety, battle-field conduct, and disease prevention, you
kiss your opponent full on the lips.
As part of this maneuver make a melee touch attack against your foe. If the attack hits
they are stunned for 1d3+1 rounds with disgust (or in very rare cases, they will instead be
love-struck instead of disgusted, but the mechanical effects are identical). A will save
against DC 13 + your wisdom modifier negates the stunning. If they have a bite attack
and you miss the touch attack or they make the will save, then they are allowed an attack
of opportunity on you with +5 to-hit but it MUST be with that bite attack (in cases of
monsters with multiple heads with differences between their bite attacks you choose
which head makes the attack of opportunity). Note that this maneuver does NOT qualify
as a mind-influencing effect, and thus (among other things) means that it works perfectly
well on constructs, vermin, and undead.
Viking Longboat Drop

Level: Swordsage 8
Range: 200 feet
Target: 10 foot by 50(or occasionally shorter) foot area (rotated in any direction (not just
4 or 8) that is on a standard compass)
Duration: Instantaneous/Until end of combat
THUD!!! SPLINTER!!! SNAP!!! WHAM!!!
A ship, built in the style of a longship, but slightly smaller, complete with crew, falls out
of the sky onto your foes regardless of how low the ceiling might be. It deals 10d6
damage to all in the area, and counts as rough terrain if it lands on a non-liquid. A reflex
save is allowed for half damage against a DC equal to 18 + your wisdom modifier. The
ship is always 10' wide, and at least 20' long. If it can not assume these minimum
dimensions, then it does not appear, the maneuver fails and is wasted. Unless obstacles
would prevent it from existing in the orientation you place it in (such as being placed
perpendicular to a narrow corridor, it is 50' long. Otherwise it extends until blocked in
both directions to assume the maximum length it can (within the 50' limit). If there are
merely height variations (such as a trench, rather than a corridor), then treat each square
of it as a separate object to determine where it falls to. The longboat counts as a Chaotic-
aligned magic weapon for the purposes of damage reduction, regeneration, etc etc. If the
initiator level is 21 or greater, the longboat also counts as an Epic weapon. Regardless of
where it lands, it breaks apart. It contains 1 10th level Human Barbarian at one end of it
(selected by you), and 4 5th level human barbarians plus 10 1st level human barbarians
randomly scattered throughout other unoccupied squares of the ship. The barbarians are
completely uninjured by the impact. Each of the barbarians are equipped as per the DMG
listings for their class and level, plus are wearing cold-weather gear made of the pelts of
yaks (or possibly some other large animal, it is hard to tell under the rime of sea salt and
ice that encrusts them) and their helmets are fitted with horns. The barbarians are
considered flat-footed from total bewilderment and take no actions other than to move
away from natural hazards at half speed until and unless attacked or you succeed a DC 15
diplomacy check with the leader (who speaks only Common) at which point they will be
willing to gather around a keg of mead that was also undamaged in the landing and drink
with you until the end of combat, or you or one of your allies attacks them. If attacked
(even with an Area of Effect) they will all "wake up" and attack the apparent source of
the attack that was directed against them on the next turn (roll their initiative at that time).
All products of this maneuver vanish at the end of combat, including the barbarians and
all their gear (ESPECIALLY the mead).
Wacky Attacky
Level: Swordsage 5
Range: Personal
Target: Self
Duration: Stance
You blows are so wacky they increase the looniness of those they hit.
While in this stance, any attack that you hit with (anything that requires an attack roll,
including but not limited to non-damaging and damaging strikes, ray attacks, and weapon
attacks) also deals 1 point of Sanity damage, regardless of whether any of its other effects
are successful. At 18th level this increases to 2 points of sanity damage.
This stance is a supernatural ability.
Worthless Weapon!
Falling Anvil (Counter) [Chaos, Mind-Effecting]
Level: Swordsage 8
Duration: One round
You call upon the primal forces of frustration and aggravation to direct your opponent's
wrath at the tool in their hands.
You magnify your foes dissatisfaction with failing to strike you a thousand fold. You may
activate this maneuver any time an opponent tries to attack you or an illusion he believes
to be you (in the second case you must have line of sight and effect to both the illusion
and the foe in question) and fails to affect you. An attempted attack that is thwarted by
Sanctuary or a similar effect does not qualify since the attack is never carried out,
however miss chances, DR, and simple failures of the attack roll count. Just before their
next turn the opponent must make a will save with a DC equal to 18 + your wisdom
modifier. If they succeed they merely take a -2 penalty to all attack rolls made with that
weapon or device until the end of their turn. If they fail they must spend that turn entirely
on attempting to bring their every resource to bear in the most effective way to sunder or
otherwise destroy the weapon or device they made the attack with. If they succeed in
destroying it and still have any actions remaining that turn, they expend those actions
attempting to further mutilate (or at least jump up and down on) the pieces. If the object
was totally destroyed or the remains are out of their reach (for instance they threw it into
lava), they use those actions to complain loudly against the weapon or device for failing
them.
Several special cases apply here:
 In the case of a bow or crossbow, those are the weapon for this purpose,
not the arrows or bolts.
 If the attacker carries multiple similar throwing weapons and the attack
you countered used one of them and the specific weapon is destroyed (as
is the case for Shuriken) or beyond their easy reach, their wrath is directed
against the remaining ones on their person.
 In the case of a staff of the magi or other item with a Retributive Strike,
you are immune to all the effects of said strike.
 If the attack was made with an ongoing, personally wielded effect(or an
ongoing effect that originates from the person, such as the 2nd edition
option for Melf's Minuit Meteors), such as a psi-blade, Mordenkain's
Sword, the attacker must dismiss that effect, spend the rest of the time
berating themselves for ever learning to create that effect, and may not
recreate that effect or invoke a similar one for a number of rounds equal to
your charisma modifier (minimum one).
Zany Anatomy (Also known as "Mania over Matter")

Level: Swordsage 3
Range: Personal
Target: You
You are so disorganized even your organs are misplaced, and your immune system makes
the combined tax codes for every year, for every civilization that ever existed, put
together, look like Zen simplicity by comparison.
You can use this maneuver any time immediately after you fail a fortitude save, before
any of the effects of that failed save are resolved. You may make a Bluff check and
retroactively use the results of that check in place of the failed fortitude save. A result of a
natural 1 on your Bluff check is not an automatic failure, but if you succeed you are
Nauseated for the next round. Immunity to nauseation functions normally against this and
does NOT prevent any of the positive effects of this maneuver.
Zany Dodge (Also known as "Action without Thought")
Level: Swordsage 2
Range: Personal
Target: You
You have raised doing the exact right thing a the exact right time, for completely the
wrong reasons to a high art.
You can use this maneuver any time immediately after you fail a reflex save, before any
of the effects of that failed save are resolved. You may make a Bluff check and
retroactively use the results of that check in place of the failed reflex save. A result of a
natural 1 on your Bluff check is not an automatic failure, but if you succeed you are
Confused for the next round, with the caster of the effect that you replaced the reflex save
against counting as the caster of the Confusion effect. If you are immune to Confusion,
you instead fall prone.
Zany Mind (Also known as "Moment of Imperfect Mind")

Level: Swordsage 1
Range: Personal
Target: You
Your totally mental nature has rendered you as unassailable as the rubbery wall of a
padded cell is to its occupant. When someone targets you with a spell that seeks to erode
you willpower you preempt them by already having eroded it.
Between your dedication to comedy, short attention span, and supreme inanity, you have
discovered, completely by accident, how to resist attempts to subvert your willpower.
When you feel such an effect successfully cloud your mind, the seething silliness inside
your soul sometimes surges.
You can use this maneuver any time immediately after you fail a will save, before any of
the effects of that failed save are resolved. You may make a Bluff check and retroactively
use the results of that check in place of the failed will save. A result of a natural 1 on your
Bluff check is not an automatic failure, but if you succeed you are Confused for the next
round, with the caster of the effect that you replaced the will save against counting as the
caster of the Confusion effect. ((Make it so immunity to confusion disallows ability to use
this maneuver?))
Last edited by DracoDei; 2012-04-26 at 01:40 PM.
 2009-08-26, 09:05 AM (ISO 8601)
 Spoilers
- Top - End - #5
DracoDei
Join Date
May 2007
Location
Near Atlanta,GA USA
Gender

Feats:
Tragedy Leads to Comedy
You know how to turn your pain into your team-mate's laughter.
Prerequisites: One Falling Anvil Stance
Benefits: Whenever you take damage from an enemy while in a Falling Anvil stance, if
you laugh it off, or scream in an amusing manner or otherwise ham it up both visually
and auditorially (a free action that can be taken immediately as soon as you take the
damage). If you do so, then all allies (but NOT you yourself) who can both see and hear
you gain a +1 morale bonus to all saves until the end of your next turn. Alternatively you
may elect to roll a d6 for a morale bonus equal to your charisma modifier for said team-
mates on the following chart for the same duration. Note that if you are damaged multiple
times in a round it is possible to be providing this bonus to more than one save at a time,
although it depends on how the dice come up.
In either case, bonuses provided by this ability CAN protect your team-mates against the
same attack that damaged you (such as the reflex save associated with a Fireball), as long
as you resolve your save before theirs.
Lethal Joke[Tactical]
Eeeeeh, what's up roc? (Note: I PROBABLY should come up with something better than
this for the quote...)
Prerequisites: Tragedy Leads to Comedy, base attack bonus +6, two Falling Anvil
maneuvers.
Benefits: The Lethal Joke feat enables the use of three tactical options.
Of course, your realize this means war?!: To use this ability you must spend at least a full
round action attempting to use diplomatic means (including Animal Empathy) to resolve
a conflict after that individual has attacked you. Your intentions must be genuine, they
must understand your attempt (so talking to an orc in celestial is unlikely to work), and
your terms must be at least as generous as allowing the individual to leave with all their
possessions if they cease hostilities. If they attack you on the following round you gain a
+1 bonus on attack rolls against that individual, +1 to AC versus their attacks, +2 to all
Bluff checks against them, and they take a -1 to saving throws against your Falling Anvil
maneuvers. These bonuses do not stack with themselves, and last 1 hour per initiator
level.
Duck Season!: Whenever you are the target of a attack by an enemy that could have also
targeted a MUTUAL foe, the attack is immediately redirected to that foe, provided it has
fewer hitdice than your Bluff modifier. If it has more hitdice than your bluff modifier
than it may attempt an opposed bluff check against you to negate the effect of this
maneuver. If no check is required, or if you win the opposed check then the attack is
redirected to that foe, and gains +5 to hit and +5 to the DC of any applicable saving
throws, and it automatically threatens a critical hit if capable of such. All subsequent
attacks that the original attacker or any of his allies make that would target you in are
similarly redirected for one full round afterward (with the same bonuses). ((Yeeeeaah...
too weak to be a maneuver, so I am going to make it part of this... MIGHT even give this
feat FOUR options to make up for it... In any case, thanks to Woodsman for pointing out
that I needed to do something for this schtick.))
Make them lose their cool: To use this ability you must hit an opponent with a Falling
Anvil strike that does no hit-point damage. If they do not affect you with an attack
between then and your next turn then they take a -1 morale penalty to AC and to all saves
against your Falling Anvil maneuvers for 1 minute.
Divine Comedy
"Alas poor gall-bladder! I knew him, Heartratio; A fellow of infinite digestive juices, of
most excellent storage capacity; I hath borne him within my body a thousand months;
and now how abhorred in my imagination it is!" - Gibbles the Giggler, hero of the realm,
upon being shot in the chest with an arrow.
Prerequisites: Tragedy Leads to Comedy, Good Alignment, Character level 10, four
Falling Anvil maneuvers.
Benefits: Good aligned beneficiaries of your use of "Tragedy Leads to Comedy" feat may
chose to count the bonus it provides as Divine, rather than Morale and if you use the
option for that feat that requires a d6 roll, gain a +1 morale or divine bonus (again, at
their individual options) to the two saves that do not get the variable bonus.
And by Imp_Fireball we have this one: (EDIT: Not so sure about this one)
Flappy Flappy!
Prerequisite: At least one 2nd level maneuver from the Falling Anvil Discipline, STR 17,
Lighter than 150 pounds
If your total weight (encumbrance included) is lighter than 150 pounds, you may flap
your arms and hover 5ft. above ground for the duration. With a DC 15 STR check, you
can elevate 5ft. By descending at half falling speed, you may completely negate falling
damage. If you are damaged, you must make a FORT save DC equal to 10 + half the
damage you were dealt or drop to the ground prone - alternatively you can ready an
action to land properly and not fall prone.
You may hover for as long as you decide to occupy your arms - that is, your legs or other
limbs are still free to perform actions, but your arms are incapable of doing anything but
flapping for however many rounds you wish to continue hovering. At least two arms are
required to perform this feat.
Eye for Comedy (After some time to consider this should be good to go, at least until
some comments on it come in.)
Having keen eyes to find humor even at long ranges, you can inflict hilarious injury and
insult from a greater distance.
Prerequisites:
-Two Falling Anvil Strikes that each meet one of the following requirements: deal
bludgeoning damage from a falling object or electricity damage or create banana peels.
-Spot 7 ranks
Benefits: The range on all your Falling Anvil strikes that deal bludgeoning damage from a
falling object or electricity damage or create banana peels doubles.
Hot Potato (Should be good for initial playtest unless someone comments, here or via
PM)
"Hey! Catch!"
Prerequisites:
-Maneuvers known: At least one of the following: (?Give Firecracker?), Give Bomb,
Give Bundle of Dynamite, OR Give Box of Dynamite
-Dexterity 13 OR Strength 13
-BAB +5
Benefits: For purposes of the (?Give Firecracker?), Give Bomb, Give Bundle of
Dynamite, and Give Box of Dynamite strikes treat your reach, and the reach of your target
as being tripled and you add the higher of your dexterity or strength modifier to your
bluff checks involved in such maneuvers.
Last edited by DracoDei; 2012-02-05 at 08:07 PM. Reason: Added Divine Comedy
 2009-08-26, 09:08 AM (ISO 8601)
 Spoilers
- Top - End - #6
DracoDei
Join Date
May 2007
Location
Near Atlanta,GA USA
Gender

LEGACY WEAPONS
Vlax's Rubber Chicken (Source is the online sequential art work of Oren Otter, used
with permision.)
Non-Legacy game statistics: +1 Holy Rubber Chicken
The Frying Pan of Doom

Non-legacy Game statistics: +1 Frying-pan
 2009-08-26, 09:09 AM (ISO 8601)
 Spoilers
- Top - End - #7
DracoDei
Join Date
May 2007
Location
Near Atlanta,GA USA
Gender

(see p.149-150 of the Tome of Battle: Book of Nine Swords)
Cap of the Falling Anvil
These jester caps are designed to be worn either normally or over a sturdy helmet. They
grant the use of maneuvers. Scholar level caps feature an arrow, with the middle of it cut
out, cunningly arranged so as to appear to be peircing the head of the wearer. Master level
Caps often have a large stuffed cloth anvil attached to the top.
Club of the Moron
This ordinary looking(it doesn't even look like a masterwork weapon) club is actually a
club +1. It also causes 1 point of wisdom damage with each successful hit that inflicts
even 1 point of damage (even non-lethal damage). The true power of this mighty tool of
comedy is that the wielder may beat themselves over the head with it, inflicting no hit-
point damage, but still dealing 1 point of wisdom damage to themselves per hit, to a
cumulative maximum equal to their BAB. As long as the club remains continiously in
their posession they increase their initiator level for determining the effects of falling
anvil maneuvers(including stances) they initiate by one for each such point of wisdom
damage they are currently incurring to a maximum initiator level of 20. They also gain a
competence bonus of equal magnitude(but without a maximum) to all bluff checks made
as part of a falling anvil maneuver or stance. Finally, any self-inflicted wisdom damage
from this weapon never counts against anyone's wisdom score for the purposes of
calculating the DCs of falling anvil maneuvers, in fact, anyone bearing this club while
having at least 10 points of self-inflicted wisdom damage from it increases the DC of all
falling anvil maneuvers by 1 point.
Sidenote: The GM is STRONGLY encouraged to deny all benefits of the self-inflicted

wisdom damage from this weapon to the character of any player who does not
appropriately roleplay the reduced wisdom score.
Moderate Enchantment; CL 7th; Craft Magic Arms and Armor, touch of idiocy, creator
must know at least 3 maneuvers from the falling anvil discipline, at least one of which
must be of at least 2nd level; Price 20,300 gp; Cost 10,300 gp + 800 XP.
 2009-08-26, 09:11 AM (ISO 8601)
 Spoilers
- Top - End - #8
DracoDei
Join Date
May 2007
Location
Near Atlanta,GA USA
Gender

((Reserved For Example Character))
Last edited by DracoDei; 2009-08-26 at 09:30 AM.
 2009-08-26, 09:14 AM (ISO 8601)
 Spoilers
- Top - End - #9
DracoDei
Join Date
May 2007
Location
Near Atlanta,GA USA
Gender

Creature(s)
Tittering Brick Squirrel

Diminutive Magical Beast
HD 1/4d10 (1 hp)
Speed 40 ft. (8 squares); Climb 40 ft
Init: +5 (+5 Dex)
AC 19; touch 19; flat-footed 14
(+5 Dex, + 4 size)
BAB +0; Grp -16
Attack Bite +0 Melee (1d1-4 damage)
OR Nut +9 Ranged Touch (No damage (refreshes maneuver), No critical)
OR Brick Drop +9 Ranged Touch (2d6 bludgeoning, x2)
Full-Attack Bite +0 Melee (1d1-4 damage)
OR Nut +9 Ranged Touch (No damage (refreshes maneuver), No critical)
OR Brick Drop +9 Ranged Touch (2d6 bludgeoning, x2)
Space 1 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Special Attacks Brick Drop, Thrown Nut
Special Qualities Low-Light Vision, NO Dark-vision
Saves Fort +1 Ref +7 Will +1
Abilities Str 2, Dex 20, Con 8, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 12
Skills Balance +11, Climb +11, Jump +13
Feats Dodge
Environment Temperate Forest
Organization Solitary, Pair, Hod (4-8), or Pallet (10-40)
Challenge Rating 1/3
Treasure Nuts
Alignment Neutral Neutral Funky
Throw Nut (or piece of tree bark) (Ex): Thrown nuts (or bits of tree bark) have a range
increment of 20 feet, and a maximum range of 60 feet. They deal no damage, but for
Tittering Brick Squirrels allow them to refresh their maneuver (if they hit). The maneuver
becomes expended without effect if not used within 5 minutes.
Squirrels are very territorial, especially during the mating season, throwing nuts and bits
of tree bark at intruders. Tittering Brick Squirrels will follow up with bricks or flower-
pots falling out of thin air against creatures larger than Diminutive size class (or predators
going after them regardless of size) if the bark pieces and their chittering (which sounds
like a high-pitched giggle) proves ineffective.
Maneuver: Tittering Brick Squirrels may use the Brick Drop maneuver, and may refresh
it by striking a foe with an acorn or bit of bark or what-not. They may substitute a
mechanically identical bombardment of nuts and bits of bark for the brick or flower-pot.
The maneuver becomes expended without effect if not used within 5 minutes of being
readied.
Skills: Tittering Brick Squirrels use their dexterity modifier in place of their strength
modifier for climb and jump checks. They receive a +4 racial bonus to balance, climb,
and jump.
Summoning Tittering Brick Squirrels: Chaotic aligned druids and rangers who (at the
GMs sole discretion) are sufficiently zany, and whose number of levels of martial
initiating classes are high enough to cast the SPECIFIC spell in question if it was their
caster level may add Tittering Brick Squirrels to the creature list for Summon Nature's
Ally I. This means that if they have a single level of a martial initiating class they can
summon 1 with S.N.A. I, if they have at least 3 levels of martial initiating classes they can
summon 1d3 with S.N.A. II, and if they have at least 5 levels of martial initiating classes
then they can summon 1d4+1 with S.N.A. III or higher. Summoned Tittering Brick
Squirrels arrive with their maneuver readied, and it is considered polite to allow them to
throw a final nut or bit of bark at a fallen foe's corpse to recover it before dismissing them
if time allows.

Puppets of Mirth Race of Constucts

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Puppets of mirth

Puppets of mirth serve in the court of the fae as premier entertainers.

Alignment and Religion

Puppet of Mirth Racial Traits

 Comedic Treasure Trove: A puppet of mirth is essentially a hollow shell filled

* Credit for this line goes to Elliot20.

Maneuver and Stance List

1Thanks to zerombr for the basic idea of including banana slips.

Maneuvers and Stances

Banana Peel Drop

Banana Bunch Peel Throw

Be Wary Wary Quwiet

We're hunting Twolls... heh heh heh.

Dust Cloud Melee

Extending Boxing Glove

Fine China Drop

Give Box of Dynamite

"Here... hold this just a sec... I insist."

Give Bundle of Dynamite

"Fire in the hole!"

"These are fun, you should try one!"

This maneuver is a supernatural ability.

Not Looking Down

Chugga Chugga! Woo! Woo!!!

Paper Thin Disguise

Titan in the Playground

Re: (3.5) [Discipline] Falling Anvil v.2 (P.E.A.C.H.)

Crash! (In C sharp, B Flat, and F minor)

Pie to the Face

Pull Yourself Together

Look ma! Cold-cuts!

Rain of Banana Peels

"Ashes! Ashes! You all fall down!"

Banana peels rain from the sky or ceiling.

Rubber Chicken Wack

Rubber Chicken Wack, Greater

You produce a rubber chicken, modeled on either a celestial or fiendish chicken,

A large adamintine chest, coated in Silver-Sheen, and enchanted as a magic, chaotic

While in this stance you may take no actions except:

This maneuver is a supernatural ability.

Stance of the Loony

Unnecessary Burial(AKA Strike of Perfect Ridiculousness)

Viking Longboat Drop

THUD!!! SPLINTER!!! SNAP!!! WHAM!!!

Zany Anatomy (Also known as "Mania over Matter")

Zany Mind (Also known as "Moment of Imperfect Mind")

Titan in the Playground

Re: (3.5) [Discipline] Falling Anvil v.2 (P.E.A.C.H.)

Titan in the Playground

Re: (3.5) [Discipline] Falling Anvil v.2 (P.E.A.C.H.)

The Frying Pan of Doom

Titan in the Playground

Re: (3.5) [Discipline] Falling Anvil v.2 (P.E.A.C.H.)

Club of the Moron

Sidenote: The GM is STRONGLY encouraged to deny all benefits of the self-inflicted

Titan in the Playground

Re: (3.5) [Discipline] Falling Anvil v.2 (P.E.A.C.H.)

Titan in the Playground

Re: (3.5) [Discipline] Falling Anvil v.2 (P.E.A.C.H.)