“Mean. He was mean to me.

He is the reason I lost my 70-acre family farm, and why I

has no stable retirement plan. He is the one who racked up our family’s debt and refused to

help pay it. He is also the one who once threatened me with a gun. All this while I never

thought I was abused. Only after he has died 2 years ago, I realized that I was abused

financially,” said Jeanette Dey Andrew. A widow from Virginia poured out her thoughts

carefully and slowly on what a 35 –year long marriage has done to her. She was not happy

throughout the marriage but is she finally able take a deep breath after her spouse passed

away 2 years ago? The answer is no. Debt collectors hunt her day by day and that traumatized

her until today. Sadly, that is the reality she has to accept and this is one of the proof how

financial abuse could ruin one’s life. Based on the statistic from the National Domestic

Violence, ​on average, 24 people per minute are victims of domestic abuse which means more

than 12 million women and men over the course of a year. ​Domestic violence is a common

issue in public and financial abuse is included under the category. However financial abuse is

said to be the invisible side of domestic violence. Therefore, what is financial abuse?

According to Alayna Pehrson (2018), “financial abuse is common tactic used by abusers to

gain power and control in a relationship. The forms of financial abuse may be subtle or overt

but in general, include tactics to conceal information, limit the victim’s access to assets, or

reduce accessibility to the family finances.” In short, the perpetrator makes use of their victim

through various methods as long as the finances are under their control and power. Sadly,

many are not aware of the financial abuse while there are many of them out there are bound

to involve in the unhealthy relationship unconsciously. What could have been the reason to

this problem? Financial abuse needs to be exposed more as it is common but rarely spoken,

vulnerable people have become the victims and the victims need to find signs and stand for

themselves to speak up for their own sake.

aware of it. In contrary, financial abuse or economic abuse is common among the society but

many do not acknowledge or spoken up the existence of it. This happened due to the lack of

awareness regarding the issue.  ​Kelly Wallace (2017) ​stated, “N​early 80% of Americans, said

they didn't know much about how financial abuse was a form of domestic violence.” No

awareness of a problem will only lead to increasing number of victims and the suffering

should not be silent. Serena Williams, an American professional tennis player has taken a

step ahead in raising an awareness regarding financial issue. In the latest article by Cable

News Networks, she spoke out her thoughts on this matter, "I was re​ally surprised at how

prevalent it was and underexposed the issue of financial abuse was. Because of that, I kind of

wanted to encourage others to stand up, speak up and speak out about financial abuse." As

mentioned above, the victims are often not aware they are being abuse but at the same time,

they also have no power or control to get out of the situation. They are hopeless because the

cruelty is no joke. The abuse does not start to happen in one night because it started slowly

and gradually haunted one’s life. It goes aligned with psychological and emotional abuse but

most importantly, the power and control is what a financial abuse is all about. The perpetrator

holds the power and control on finances which could affect their victim’s financial

information badly. For example, an abuser monitoring their spending, violating privacy by

looking at bank statements, ​applying for credit cards in a victim's name without their consent

or running up mountains of debt​. When things get controlled one by one and things get ugly,

a victim has no longer the ability to ​manage their private information, daily life and even

buying underwear is not an easy task. They are living like a puppet under strings. The thought

of escaping is impossible because of the financial problem that is going to hunt them down.

They rather staying in an abusive relationship rather than bearing the weight of debts in
future. Thus, lack of awareness will only lead to more numbers of victims who would not

realize they are being abuse and do not have the power or control to get out of the

nightmares.

A bully always chose weak people as their target because they know they are stronger

and that goes the same with an abuser. They chose easy targets knowing that they can simply

have control over them. The perpetrator of financial abuse tend to victimize these two groups

of people; women and elders because they are often labelled as vulnerable people. Financial

abuse has affect woman regardless class and race boundaries all over the world. ​JR Thorpe

(2017) claims that, figured out that 60 percentages of the victims of financial abuse in a

current relationship are women. Abused women are not necessarily career women or middle

class income family because even rich married women also could be the victims. First, people

are likely to see a successful career woman to be an independent person but in reality, there

are some of them who are struggling to support themselves as their partner took an advantage

on their income. They are exploited through various methods such as creating joint account,

using their name for instalment payment or putting financial responsibility on themselves. On

the other hand, women that come from middle or low income family are bearing the same

cruelty. If one is unemployed, it made the situation worse because their partner is the sole

source of money. Business Insider in one article related to this issue, wrote one story where a

wife had to sleep on a mattress for entire pregnancy because she was told they could not

afford a bed despite her husband making $8,000 a month. Besides, married a rich man does

not always make a woman rich too. The phrase, “Do not judge a book by it’s cover”

describes this situation the best.​There are many cases where married rich woman who live in

a mansion are actually struggling financially. This is because all her belongings are not

bought by her own money instead it’s the husband’s. That way, abusers make the victim feel
they owe them as if it is not their responsibility to support her which leads to guilty feeling to

speak up. Furthermore, they do not generate income monthly which put them in bind

situation.

On the other hand, there is one more group of people that always become an easy

target. They are the elders and it is commonly called as “Financial Elder Abuse”. ​Catherine

Schnaubelt ​(2018) stated, one in nine seniors has reported being abused, neglected or

exploited within the year of 2017. The question here, how do they easily get tricked into this

matter? Who would torture them when they should be enjoying life at a golden age? They

may get involved in scam or maybe a business fraud but the abuser could be their closest

people in life such as acquaintances, close friends or even family members. The word family

members may sound cruel but that is what mostly happened these days. Children would take

advantage towards their old folks as they consider them as a burden in life and ended up

sending them to nursing home. There are various ways have been used to scheme elders such

as unknown changes to wills, mortgage or even property title. Sometimes, threats are also

used especially from family members. For instance, a child could threat the parent to change

financial assets under their name or else they will be sending to old folks home. In some

cases, just like in a drama children would take advantage over their sick parents with diseases

such as dementia. It would be easy to manage the financial information as they hold the

responsibilities. Result from financial elder abuse are very stirring as it lead to various

negative effect such as limits their access to healthcare and that greatly affect their mortality.

In fact, based on ​S. Indramalar (2017), abused elders were three times likelier to die than

those who were not abused​. Thus, women and elders have become the innocent victims of

financial abuse when they should be treated with gentle.

victim not to realize the abuse she has faced throughout the life because they may just

thought they are only emotionally abused or she just don’t know how to escape from it. That

should be prevents from happening or else one’s life will only get ruined longer. Jr Thorpe

suggests, ​"Economic abuse is present in 98 percent of all abusive relationships." If you think

you or somebody you know might be a target, don't let it slide; act.” One powerful method in

finding way out from the hell’s gate is to find signs and speak up about it in order to help

them finding a better life. Firstly, if they think they are being abuse financially they may need

to find signs that could prove the suspicious feeling. There are many signs that could be lead

to financial abuse such as unexpected changes in bank account balances, one would feel like

they are not allowed to have own bank account, being pressured into financial decisions or

having to explain each penny spent. In addition, emotional feelings such as depressions,

irritating or strained relationship are also one of the signs. If any of those applied to you, a

forward step must be taken immediately but with a careful planning. Finding help is the

crucial part of solving the problem. Human can never live alone as they will always need

even a person to rely one and that is how they should do. For instance, meeting physiatrist

help in terms of finding peace in order to fight back the unfair treatment received for years. It

could help gain self-confident and consciousness that might be missing after all the torture.

Other than that, a preparation is a must before leaving because it could use to defend victim

later in future. Preparation that should be noted in one’s account are such as gather as much

ID and financial data as possible including credit card statements or any documentation

proving who own what. They also should collect information about the abuser’s information

like their salary, bonuses, money get from property and others related to financial
information. All of these could be uses proof of the mistreatments received and it is also

highly recommended to call local domestic violence helpline or welfare authorities that could

provide safety and security in the meantime. Therefore, seeking helps is a must once signs of

one involves in financial abuse is clearly showing in order to save a live.

Financial abuse needs to be exposed more as it is common but rarely spoken as

vulnerable people have become the victims. Suzannah Weiss (2018) mentioned ​"People think

everyone's got money, but no, they don't. Just because you don't have a broken arm or a black

eye doesn't mean you're not being abused."​They are innocent people that should be protected

and care. As the issue is slowly being raise in public, the victims need to grab this

opportunity to find signs and stand for themselves. Financial abuse may still not get people’s

attention until today but with help of public figure like Serena Williams, an American

Professional tennis player; there is a spark of hope to spread more awareness. Then,

vulnerable people such as women and elders should not continue receiving those unfair

treatments just because they tend to appear as “weak” in people’s eyes. In hope of finding

solution, the victims must find signs and speak up to defend themselves because their life in

on the line. People could give a helping hand but first, they must help themselves to escape

from the cruel reality. Financial abuse is a serious crime and should not take as a joke as it

can ruin someone’s life without them knowing. There are people out there fighting for the

victims’ rights and hopefully with the power of technology nowadays, the concern will be

more acknowledge by society. Indeed, the dark side of financial abuse is cruel and traumatic.
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Dodgson, L. (2018). Using money as a weapon is called financial abuse - and it's the ultimate

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Indramalar. S. (2017). Study shows financial abuse can be fatal for the elderly. Malaysia.

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