Hope Bodine

Professor Hellmers

ENG 1201 Online

19 March 2019

Behind Interpersonal Communication

Everyday we use different forms of communication. Whether it be verbal or

nonverbal, we are always communicating. Many of us have been in a situation when

things have gotten lost in translation. Our words get twisted and situations worsen due

to our lack of knowledge of interpersonal communication. For me, I’ve been in many

situations where the differences in the level of communication have negatively impacted

the conversation or conflict. This problem is a common in today’s society. Interpersonal

communication helps our physical, social, practical and identity needs. Everyone one

has different ways that they communicate and the reasons are deeper than we know.

There is more behind communication than we tend to pay attention to, and I feel as

though it is important for others to know what interpersonal communication means and

how it’s relevant in today’s society.

 Fig. 1 This visual shows how complicated interpersonal communication is.

“Interpersonal Communication Model”

One of the first things I learned when I took a course over interpersonal

communication was why we communicate. According to ​Interplay: the Process of

​ y Adler, we communicate for physical, practical, social,

Interpersonal Communication b

and identity needs. Physical needs are things everyone needs to survive, practical

needs help to communicate what we need, social needs help our relationships, and

identity needs are who we are. Another thing I learned was the transactional model of

communication. This is the exchange between two people, or the cycle of the

communication process.. The elements of the model include source, which is where the

message comes from, the message is the point, the channel is the medium through

which the messages are exchanged, feedback is the response, encoding are what

words you use, and decoding is what we hear. All of these factors are just a small key

elements into the broad spectrum of communication.

In one of the chapters of ​Interplay: the Process of Interpersonal Communication

by Adler it discusses interpersonal communication and the self. We all have self-esteem

and self-concept. These two terms are very different. Self-esteem is the evaluation of

self-worth. Self-esteem interacts with interpersonal needs to affect our communications.

These factors include control, inclusion, and affection. Self-concept is the relatively

stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself. Both of these factors affect what kind of

communicator you are and how you communicate. Another important subject mentioned

is self-disclosure. The benefits of self-disclosure are catharsis, self-clarification,

self-validation, reciprocity, impression formation, moral obligation, and relationship

maintenance and enhancement.

There are four principles of interpersonal communication according to pstcc.edu.

One of these four factors are that interpersonal communication is inescapable. This

means that communication is inevitable. Every one person communicates, even if it’s

not with words. Another principle is that it’s irriversable. Once you say or do something

you can’t take it back. It states that “the effect must inevitably remain,” (ptscc 2000). The

third principle is that interpersonal communication is complicated. Nothing is simple

about communication. We all communicate in different ways and have different styles of

communication. No two people communicate the same, and oftentimes communication

can fail. There are even symbols that help us to communicate and people might not be

able to interpret these symbols correctly. Overall, interpersonal communication is a very

broad subject that takes time for people to understand. The final principle is that

interpersonal communication is contextual. This means that communication always

happens for a reason, and never happens in isolation. We are always trying to get what

we want and need by communication. There is psychological context, relational context,

situational context, environmental context, and cultural context. All of these

communication contexts help us to get what we want or need.

According to communicationtheory.org, “​Interpersonal Communication is a kind

of communication in which people communicate their feeling, ideas, emotions and

information face to face to each other,”​ (Communication 2014). There is always a

sender and receiver. Just like what was read in ​Interplay: the Process of Interpersonal
 ​ y Adler, ​communicationtheory.org discusses the communicator, the
Communication b

message, noise, feedback, context, and channel. Like I said previously these are key

factors to this subject. In day to day interactions these elements will always be relevant

when you communicate.

I interviewed my father and discussed with him the importance of having

knowledge on the subject of interpersonal communication. My dad is a successful

entrepreneur and owns multiple businesses. He has interviewed many people and

negotiated deals to progress his company. Without having the communication skills that

he has, he wouldn’t be as successful as he is. Not only is he an excellent

communicator, but he also pushes his employees to become better communicators.

According to my dad it is important to have good communication skills for everything

you do in life. You have to be able to handle conflict in the proper way and there are

many jobs that also find it important to be able to communicate well.

One career path that is crucial to have good communication skills is the medical

field. Most importantly those in the medical field that deal with patients. In the article

“Impact of Doctor’s Interpersonal Communication Skill on Patient’s Satisfaction Level”

written by Tanveer, Fahad, et al. the importance of interpersonal communication skills is

discussed for patient’s satisfaction from doctors. It’s discussed that, “In the case of

impeded or poor communication between patient and clinician, it may negatively affect

the treatment process and also leads to serious events,” (Tanveer 306). This expresses

how if a clinician poorly communicates to a patient it could ruin their experience in the

facility. The study analyzed the “results of this research will have potential benefits to
find deficits and to apply the communication strategies to enhance patient adherence

level, reduces their complaints and increase their level of satisfaction and will provide a

better quality treatment and improved communication of health care provider and the

doctor-patient relationship,” (Tanveer 307). All together this is a perfect example on how

relevant interpersonal communication is for certain career paths.

There are many things we all collectively could improve on when it comes to

communication as a whole. An article titled​ ​Key Interpersonal Communication Skills You

​ n virtualspeech.com discusses what changes you can make in order

Need to Improve o

to become a better communicator. A few keys skills mentioned are body language,

openness, negotiation skills, decision making and problem-solving skills, conflict

resolution, etc. No one person is a perfect communicator, but there is always room for

improvement. The site states “Your job performance will improve if you develop your

interpersonal skills because you will be more of a cohesive member of the company,”

(Beqiri 2018). This elaborates on how improving your skills will help become more

reliable to the company that you are apart of.

In the article ​Here to Help; How to Improve Your Conversational Body Language,

it states that “Mingling is an art,” (The New York Times 2019). The article consists of

examples on how to properly mingle. These examples include making eye contact,

having good posture, opening your body, and smiling. It’s very important to maintain

good body-language. You will most likely seem unapproachable if you do not show

good body language. If you want to be taken seriously while communicating, or

mingling, then it is important to know how. Mingling truly is an art and if you’re good at it

then it can get you far.

In the TED talk “The Myth of Communication” Roger Graef discusses how even

though we might be hearing what is said, but not actually be listening to the message. A

story that Graef mentioned was the time a friend of his was at a dinner party with her

husband. Her husband was lebanese and she didn’t speak the language, so he always

translated what was being said to her. One night her husband didn’t translate the

conversation, and she asked him why he didn’t translate for her. He responded to her

and said that the conversations were in English. Due to her being used to having the

conversations always being translated to her, she didn’t even realize that she could

understand what was being said. This is a prime example of how it’s always important

to truly listen to the message being transmitted from others.

Fig. 2 This visual illustrates one person speaking, while the other is listening. The visual

ties in with how it is important to truly listen when another person is sending a message.

“Communication Cycle Model”

 The TED talk by Roger Graef also ties along with what Adler implies about

listening styles. ​Many people may think that they are excellent listeners, but in all reality

none of us are. There are many different things that tie into listening than one may think.

One can hear a person, but not be listening. Hearing “is the process in which sound

waves strikes the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain,” (Adler

236). Listening is “the process of receiving and responding to others’ messages,” (Adler

236). So you can be hearing someone talk, but not actually be listening to the message

they are trying to get acrossed. According to the textbook there are four different

listening styles. All of these styles of listening are key in becoming a better interpersonal

communicator. Many of us could do more to better ourselves in these listening styles

with non-verbals. These listening styles that are important is our day to day

communication are relational listening, analytical listening, task-oriented listening, and

critical listening.

Culture has a major impact on the way people communicate. For example if you

go inside the house of someone whose culture finds it disrespectful to wear shoes

inside the house without removing your shoes, they might find it rude and give you

weird looks. Also in some cultures it’s disrespectful to use eye contact, but for others it’s

disrespectful not to. When people are from different cultures then they oftentimes might

clash or differentiate when they are communicating. In the article “​Integrating Teaching

Models to Enhance EFL Students” Interpersonal Communication Skill and Creativity” by

Lubis​, ​Nazriani, et al. it discusses how a study is done to help diverse students
understand the culture that they are living in. This is so that they have an easier time

connecting with people in the culture around them.

Interpersonal communication skills can affect relationships that you have with

other people. In the article about interpersonal communication on businesstopia.net it

states, “​Interpersonal communication is relational in nature; it takes place in a

relationship and the way we communicate depends on the kind of relationship we have

with the other person​,” (Businesstopia 2018). The example the site uses is that you

would call a sibling or friend by a nickname, but you wouldn’t call your boss by a

nickname, because that would be inappropriate. Also, more key concepts that are

brought up in previous sources that were brought on this site are messages, feedback,

channel, noise, etc. This goes to show how important these factors are in everyday

communication.

According to relate.org.uk, communication isn’t always the most important thing.

The site claims that communication isn’t always the most important thing in a

relationship. In the article it states “​Yes, communication is important, but it’s not always

the most important thing. The most important thing is often actually connection,” ( relate

2018). This is definitely a fair argument. Both the connection and communication in all

relationships should be good. Often times is does take engaging and communication

though to figure out that you have a connection. Like I said a connection in any

relationship is important, but if you can’t communicate with one another then what is the

real point of having the relationship?

 The more and more I go through life I realize the importance of communication.

During every job interview I’ve ever had I made sure that I had the right posture, was

making eye contact, and being selective with the my choice of wording. If I slouched,

used slang, and just stared at the floor there is no way that I would get the job. When I

speak to someone in authority I am always careful in how I speak to them and how I

hold myself. Another example would be if I got pulled over and wasn’t making eye

contact with the cop and was fidgeting with stuff, or being suspicious then the cop would

most likely think that I was hiding something.Your body language, tone, and how you

present yourself are important in the way your communicate.

Another thing I’ve learned through life experiences is that people love to talk

about themselves. If you strike up a conversation with someone and ask about them,

then they most likely will enjoy it. Often times when there is something I want from

someone I always start by getting them to talk about themselves and then slowly shift

the conversation. By getting the person to talk about themselves you’ve convinced them

that you’re interested in care about what they have to say so you use pathos to get what

you want. You appeal to their emotions. Often times people in the sales field will try to

use this approach. They will ask about one’s family or will try to provide information that

they found by simply asking about the person’s life and use it to market what they are

selling.

Like I said I believe that interpersonal communication is crucial in society. It helps

to teach us what communication really is and why we do certain things and handle

different situations differently. My opinion is strong that the elements and of

communication are key in everyone’s lives. One can say that it’s not that important and

that how we communicate can’t change, but I beg to differ. With all the evidence I’ve

gathered, I’ve concluded that interpersonal communication is very relevant and

important in today’s society. There are many benefits to having knowledge on this topic.

At the end of the day it can help you advance your relationships, career, and all around

help you get what you want. We all have different ways of communicating, and if we just

take the time to understand that concept then collectively we all can prevent words

being twisted and situations worsening.

 Work Cited

Adler, Ronald B., et al. ​Interplay: the Process of Interpersonal Communication​. Oxford
University Press, 2004.

Bajracharya, Shraddha. “Interpersonal Communication - Core Concepts, Examples.”

Businesstopia,​ 20 Apr. 2018,
www.businesstopia.net/communication/interpersonal-communication-examples.

Beqiri, Gini. “Key Interpersonal Communication Skills You Need to Improve.”

VirtualSpeech,​ VirtualSpeech, 9 July 2018,
virtualspeech.com/blog/interpersonal-communication-skills.

“Communication Cycle Model by Shannon and Weaver.” ​ToolsHero,​ 21 Jan. 2019,

www.toolshero.com/communication-skills/communication-cycle-shannon-weaver/.

Communication, in Interpersonal. “Interpersonal Communication.” ​Communication

Theory,​ 10 July 2014, ​www.communicationtheory.org/interpersonal-communication/​.

Four Principles of Interpersonal Communication,​ 2000

www.pstcc.edu/facstaff/dking/interpr.htm.

Here to Help; How to Improve Your Conversational Body Language. T ​ he New York
Times, October 6, 2018 Saturday.
https://advance-lexis-com.sinclair.ohionet.org/api/document?collection=news&id=urn:co
ntentItem:5TDW-CMP1-DXY4-X0DV-00000-00&context=1516831​. Accessed March 18,
2019.

Lubis, Nazriani, et al. “Integrating Teaching Models to Enhance EFL Students’

Interpersonal Communication Skill and Creativity.” ​International Journal of Education
and Literacy Studies,​ vol. 6, no. 4, Oct. 2018, pp. 129–137. ​EBSCOhost,​
sinclair.ohionet.org:80/login?url=​https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&d
b=eric&AN=EJ1201635&site=eds-live​.

Swensonmaggie. “Interpersonal Communication Model.” ​Communication Portfolio,​ 7

Feb. 2014,
swensoncom260.wordpress.com/2014/02/07/interpersonal-communication-model/.
Talks, TEDx. “The Myth of Communication: Roger Graef OBE at TEDxSheffield.”
YouTube​, YouTube, 23 July 2013, www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2hSs28aE1I.

Tanveer, Fahad, et al. “Impact of Doctor’s Interpersonal Communication Skill on

Patient’s Satisfaction Level.” ​Isra Medical Journal,​ vol. 10, no. 5, Sept. 2018, pp.
306–309. ​EBSCOhost​,
sinclair.ohionet.org:80/login?url=​https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&d
b=a9h&AN=133028251&site=eds-live​.

“Why Communication Isn't Always the Most Important Thing in a Relationship.” ​Relate,​
www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/making-your-relationship-stronger
/why-communication-isnt-always-most-important-thing-relationship.