Essay 1
Essay 1
Eric Jackson
Professor Granillo
English 101
15 February 2019
The segregation of minority groups was a dark time in america’s history. The advent of
Jim Crow laws in the South in particular, hurt the advancement of colored people and interracial
interactions as a whole. Though the civil rights movement was successful in eliminating
segregation in the eyes of the law it persisted culturally causing many people of color to face
barriers on the path to success and equality. Affirmative action was an effective stepping stone in
increasing diversity on college campuses, but with the rise of social justice in the modern age
that very diversity is beginning to implode. Attempting to make light of this is Gabriela Moro, a
neuroscience and behavior pre-health student at the University of Notre Dame. She wrote an
essay in 2015 that focused on the topic of how this very social justice attitude that fosters
homogenous safe spaces for minority students, is hurting these students and race relations as a
whole in the long run. While not explicitly stating her own bias, Gabriela Moro in her essay
minority clubs and the negative impact they have on interracial interactions; effectively citing
informed sources and creating an academically structured essay, she builds a convincing
logic-based argument on how the existing system can evolve to stimulate multicultural
immersion.
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Gabriela Moro primarily builds her argument by citing experts in fields that study student
development and studies conducted by institutions on the effects of minority versus multicultural
clubs and students perceptions of such trends. One of her most compelling cited sources also
introduces the topic of self-segregation in her essay stating, “‘Today the student bodies of our
leading colleges and universities are more diverse than ever. However, college students are
increasingly self-segregating by race or ethnicity’” (Moro 273). Her analysis that follows
effectively ties this piece of evidence together by explaining that students are more inclined to
self-segregate due to minority clubs. This piece of evidence is a cornerstone of her argument and
key to building her subtopic that minority clubs are ineffective at fostering interracial relations.
By establishing this point, she effectively highlights the flaws in the current system and opens up
her transition to how it can be solved. Furthermore, by directly connecting this evidence to
studies that focus on the topic she strengthens her argument by building credibility and
connecting multiple subtopics together. This creates a coherent and structured essay by having a
strong body that ties both the initial statement of the problem and her proposed solution at the
end of her essay together. By citing academic sources which confirm her position, Moro forms a
logic based argument that builds the audience's knowledge on the topic and the flaws present in
the current system preparing them for the studies that she uses to further highlight both the
The solution that Moro proposes near the end of her essay is for more multicultural clubs
to form to promote interracial activities and interactions. Near the latter portion of her essay,
Moro analyzes a study of students which offer two opinions both advocating and opposing
multicultural clubs. While both sides proposed solutions for existing minority student programs,
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one side believed that biracial and multiracial clubs would further segregation while the other
encouraged multicultural activities and advocated for faculty and staff to get involved to create
an inclusive environment. (Moro 274). These positions mostly align with Moro’s argument and
provide collectivized evidence in a study format to show that the issue is widely shared among
college students and not exclusively to concerned researchers. This evidence also acts as a
counter argument that builds up a dissenting voice offering the alternative solution of disbanding
such clubs entirely to promote equal access. Moro then addressing the errors in this position in
her analysis and builds toward her rebuttal in the following paragraph. By analyzing a study with
two opposing viewpoints on how the topic should be resolved, Moro addresses the other side but
uses the opportunity to highlight how her solution is backed by an academic study which aligns
with her previously cited source, further strengthening her argument to criticism and building
toward her call for action which functions as a capstone to her thesis as a whole.
In her final page, Moro constructs a call for action that appropriately ties together her
thesis, sources and analysis of the situation in the goal of educating her audience and providing a
motivating voice for further study and action to highlight and combat the blatant flaws in
homogenous minority clubs. In the final page of her essay Moro states that her research supports
“that a holistic approach to the importance of diversity studies in the college curriculum, as well
as the multicultural advocacy clubs, are necessary in order to prepare all students, not just
minority students, for the diverse world and society ahead of them.” (Moro 276). Moro
throughout her essay cited academic sources and reserved her judgement on the matter only
analyzing how these sources highlighted a growing problem. By using this sentence as a holistic
summary of the necessary steps that must be taken to combat the current flaws in minority clubs,
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Moro effectively conveys her argument and advocates for change. This sentence also provides a
strong finisher to her essay as it allows the audience to consider her points and the evidence
presented as it pertains to her proposed solution. This essay structure effectively built to this
moment and succeeds in making her argument wholly effective. In the end, this sentence takes
placed right before her final two paragraphs so the she can further expand on the many solutions
advocating how they can be solved. By structuring her essay in this way she roots her argument
in logical and effectively shifts her audience into her mindset, opening them to the solution she
proposes. She further emphasizes how the problem may be solved in her final call to action
which ties together her previous sources and proposed fixes into a final argument. Moro’s essay
is overall effective in its message and execution and highlights the problems she sees in the
current system before stimulating a conversation on how they can be fixed. Her argument was
not readily apparent throughout the essay but this further allowed each and every source to be
highlighted which all built to her subsequent rebuttal of extreme or nonexistent avenues of
change before introducing her position. In the end, Moro’s argument is entirely effective and
Works Cited
Moro, Gabriela. “Minority Student Clubs: Segregation or Integration.” Fresh Writing, University
of Notre Dame,
freshwriting.nd.edu/volumes/2016/essays/minority-student-clubs-segregation-or-integrati
on.