1/16/2010

Presentation
 Definition of family
Chemical Dependency  Chemical dependency overview
and the Family  Effects of chemical dependency on
families
Dawn Farm Education Series: 2010  What can you do?
Nancy Quay, LMSW  Resources

A family is… Family members include:

 Spouses/partners
 Parents
 Children
 Siblings
 Extended family members
 Committed friends

Common features of families Families are Systems

 Unique roles
 Shared roles
 Rules—spoken or unspoken
 Values and beliefs
 Shared history

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And everything reflects the

Until something changes… change

 Role shifts
 Changed responsibilities
 Rules are broken
 Upended values and beliefs
 Loss of history

Ripple Effect FACT

 Change in one aspect creates ripples
which change the other aspects Chemical dependency is the #1
disease in America
1 in 10 adults is chemically dependent
1 in 3 families have at least one
addicted member

FACT FACT
Alcohol and drugs account for 52% of
Chemical dependency costs industry
all traffic fatalities
over $1,000,000,000 per year
75% in lost productivity
25% in medical & treatment costs

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FACT FACT
Children in homes with chemical
One in four children live in a home
dependency are at significantly greater
where alcoholism or alcohol abuse is
risk for:
present daily
Emotional problems
Physical health problems
Learning difficulties

FACT FACT
Children in homes with chemical An addict’s primary relationship is with
dependency are his or her substance…not with the
3 times more likely to be verbally, other person or people in their family
physically, or sexually abused group—they have a love relationship
4 times more likely to be neglected with their substance
4 times more likely to develop chemical
dependency
problems of their own

Disease of Chemical Dependency Overview

 Addiction is a disease of the brain that
 Biological effects
leads to the abuse of mind-altering
 Psychological effects chemicals.
 Primary  Addiction results in physical, mental,
 Chronic Illness social, and spiritual deterioration.
 Progressive  Addiction has both biological and
 Signs and Symptoms psychological components.
 Fatal

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Biological/Physical Effects Psychological Effects

 Chemical tolerance  Drugs control mind, thinking, attitude,
 Withdrawal symptoms beliefs
 Chemically dependent people crave drugs  Drugs control their moods
and physically do not feel normal without  Belief life is not possible without drugs
them  Obsessive thoughts about drug
 Love relationship with drug

Addiction is Primary Addiction is Chronic

 Caused by use  Symptoms arise and last over time
 Brain changes as a result of use (more than 3 months)
 Use can be influenced by  Interrupts the developmental cycle
genetics…some people seem more  Time not spent developing talents, skills,
likely to become addicted than others interests
 One’s environment can also influence  Time spent in detention, jail, prison
abuse that can lead to addiction.  May begin with an acute event (or
more than one)
 Eventually just becomes ‘routine’

Addiction is Progressive Signs and symptoms

 Stages  Frequent intoxication

 Early  Once user starts, can’t stop
 May be asymptomatic  Blackouts
 Middle  Behavior changes while using
 Tends to be when use affects  Begins to miss work or other
relationships, life, work, etc.
obligations
 Late
 Disruptions in work or family life
 Obvious symptoms
 Legal troubles
 Other symptoms

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Addiction is Fatal How Addiction Affects Families

 Chemical dependency affects families in
 If left untreated, addiction to drugs will
eventually kill by disease, overdose, or many ways
accident.  From positive to negative
 Drug related car accidents, other serious  From minor to extreme
accidents  These problems can have a direct or
 Violent activities, dangerous behaviors, indirect impact on any family member in
gangs, fights, burglaries, homicide
any area of their life.
 Overdose
 Suicide, attempted suicide
 Diseases related to drug use

Chemical Dependency Changes: Chemical Dependency Changes:

 How it feels to live in the family  How family members meet each other’s
needs
 How people communicate
 How members assume roles and meet
 How family members relate to each the demands of these roles
other and get along  How family members relate to the
 How family members deal outside world: We often recreate our
with problems and conflicts family relationships in other
relationships!

Family Characteristics Guilt

o Family members blame themselves
for the behavior of the dependent
When alcohol abuse or addiction stays person.
around for a long time, certain
o They believe they must be doing
negative characteristics become a something which triggers the
part of the family’s daily life. drinking or using.
o They begin to question themselves
and find unreasonable fault in their
own behavior.

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Insecurity Fear
o Things are never steady for any period o Deep within, each member of the family
of time. knows that something is seriously
o Shaky finances and lack of job security wrong.
may be constantly present. o The family knows that tragedy is just
o Daily duties and responsibilities are not around the corner.
met. o The family lives with the dependent
o Each member of the family has the person’s sudden changes in mood,
feeling the roof could fall in at any often with anger and violence erupting.
minute.

Embarrassment Isolation
o Social events are cancelled.
o Communication within the family
o Friends are not invited into the home. erodes.

o No one is willing to talk about feelings

o Despite this dance of avoidance, the
regarding “the problem.”
behavior of the chemically dependent
person continues to bring
embarrassment to family members. o The family of an addicted person cannot
be a close-knit group.

Disappointment Suspicion and Loss of Trust

o The chemically dependent person is o Members of the family learn early that
unable to live up to his or her the chemically dependent person can
commitments and promises. not be trusted.

o Broken promises and unfulfilled o Conflicts and accusations are common.

expectations are common.
o This condition encourages the
chemically dependent person to
o Members of the family are constantly continue using or drinking.
having their high hopes turn into great
disappointments.

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Ways Family Members

Resentment Reduce Stress

o The unexpressed anger towards the  Ignoring the problem behaviors,

chemically dependent person is held conflict, and pain
within and becomes raging resentment.
 Using defense mechanisms (both the
chemically dependent person and other
o This growing resentment may cause family members)
members of the family to react
inappropriately, not only toward the
dependent person, but to everyone that  Taking on new roles to stabilize the
family
is close to him or her.

Special Roles in Chemically

Dependent Families The Family Hero
 Behaviors:
 The Family Hero
 High achiever, excels, leads, very busy, almost
never says no, responds to adult, controlling
 The Family Scapegoat  Feelings:
 Anxiety, inadequacy, unworthiness, resentfulness,
 The Lost Child self-blame, loneliness
 As an adult:
 Unrealistic sense of control, needs to control,
 The Family Mascot needs approval, feels overly responsible or may
act irresponsibly when overwhelmed
 The Chief Enabler
Offers the family a sense of being okay

The Family Scapegoat The Lost Child

 Behaviors:  Behaviors:
 Tests limits, breaks rules, gets in trouble, acts  Quiet, daydreamer, isolates, fantasizes, avoids
aggressively, uses substances as an outlet/relief, conflict, passive
inappropriate language, behavior, dress, usually has
most realistic picture of the family.  Feelings:
 Feelings:  Loneliness, fear, unworthiness, inadequacy, lack of
 Anger, confusion, resentment, inadequacy, self-blame fulfillment
for family problems, “out of control”
 As an adult:  As an adult:
 Typically has progressive substance abuse problems;  May have problems with depression, difficulty with
problems throughout life; progressive involvement with interpersonal relationships, alcohol or drug
the criminal justice system problems usually due to inability to cope

Offers the family a sense of purpose by Offers the family a sense of relief and
providing someone to blame success, and is not a trouble to the family

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The Family Mascot The Chief Enabler

 Behaviors:
 Class clown, seeks attention through humor  Behaviors:
and acting out, uses humor to keep people at a  Shelters and shields the using family members, makes
distance, seldom serious excuses for and may lie to protect the user, minimizes
negative consequences, blames others for the
 Feelings: problems, sometimes sabotages progress towards
 Anxiety – measures self-worth by how others recovery
see him or her; anger; hurt; loneliness
 Feelings:
 As an adult:  Anger, hurt, guilt, resentment, anxiety, fear,
 Problems in school and at work, seldom forms desperate to control everything, helpless, exhausted
intimate relationships, “clowns around” or “life
of the party,” may develop SA problems
Offers the family a sense
Offers the family a sense of stability and protection
of comic relief from the pain

A Family’s Major Tasks for

What Can I Do? Defeating the Disease of Addiction
Continued addiction leads only three  Understand the biological and
places: psychological disease of addiction
 Death
 Jail  Understand the wide-ranging effects on
 Institution all family members

 Understand each family member’s role

Are any of these acceptable in living with an addicted member
options for your family member?

Make Change Happen Additional Strategies

 Remember: systemic disease needs

systemic treatment  Parents must recognize
that addiction is a family illness that
requires treatment for all family
 Chemically dependent families have members
choices and can break the unhealthy
norms of the family.
 Confront denial regarding the impact of
their own substance abuse -- accept
 It doesn’t matter why these roles were responsibility for substance-abuse
developed, they do not have to be behavior
maintained!

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Tools and Support Tools and Support

 Honesty and openness  Friends, relatives, school counselors,
 Positive support and structure religious leaders
 Clear boundaries
 Healthy behaviors  Support groups: Al-Anon, Alateen, Co-
 Meet needs Dependents Anonymous, Adult
 Stay active Children of Alcoholics (ACOA)
 Look for signs of progress, not perfection
 Get professional help
 Books and Internet information

 Work the 12-step Program

Recovery is Possible! Resources

www.dawnfarm.org
www.teensusingdrugs.org

When the world says

“Rachel Getting Married” (2008), one of the best recent movies on
“Give up,” the effect on a family of one member’s addiction

Hope whispers
“Facts” were obtained from the following sources:
“Try it one more time.” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. SAMHSA's Center for
Substance Abuse Treatment. You Can Help: A Guide for Caring Adults
Working with Young People Experiencing chemical dependency in the
-Author Unknown Family (PHD878, (SMA) 01-3544)Washington, DC: U.S. Government
Printing Office.

University of Pennsylvania Health System: http://www.uphs.upenn.edu/

Thank You!

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