Jewish Standard, February 23, 2018
Jewish Standard, February 23, 2018
Jewish Standard, February 23, 2018
IN THIS ISSUE
86
Bringing Baby Home
Sweet Things
for the Bundle of Joy
WINTER 2018
Adar When Joy Jumps FEBRUARY 23, 2018
Purim Fun Around Town
Supplement to The Jewish Standard • March 2018
VOL. LXXXVII NO. 23 $1.00 2017
7
‘In Thy
Tent I Dwell’
The art and life of
Jônatas Chimen Dias
DaSilva-Benayon
CHANGE SERVICE REQUESTED on display in Teaneck
Teaneck, NJ 07666 page 32
1086 Teaneck Road
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band idealizes Plato comic talents who fly under the radar,
despite having an impressive resume
in the industry. She was a writer for
“You can tell how far we’ve slipped
as a country in just the past year by
how it’s no longer okay to joke about
l Orphaned Land’s Kobi Farhi the “Late Show with David Letter- Nazis,” she said. “It’s no longer kosher
may be the first progressive man” and producer for “The Daily … I feel bad for World War II vets who
heavy metal musician to channel Show with Jon Stewart,” and she has couldn’t talk politics at the Thanks-
Plato for musical inspiration. appeared in clips on channels ranging giving table because their grandkids
The Greek philosopher’s semi- from MSNBC to National Geographic. are Nazis. It’s like ‘Grandpa, don’t talk
nal “Allegory of the Cave” served But her profile could be on the rise. about liberating Auschwitz, you’ll up-
as the core of the band’s sixth She developed a special for “Adult set Trevor!’”
studio album, “Unsung Prophets Swim” (Cartoon Network’s adult-ori- Friedman also skewered David
and Dead Messiahs,” released at ented nighttime programming block) Duke, the anti-Semitic former Ku
the end of January and the basis that debuted last weekend, and since Klux Klan leader.
of an upcoming tour in Europe last Thursday, her name has floated “He’s very hard to spot with all
and the United States. through the internet in the wake of a the plastic surgery he’s had,” she
In the 13 new songs, the band standup set she performed on Conan said. “You’d think for a white suprem-
takes a look at the world’s situ- O’Brien’s late-night comedy show. acist he’d be more comfortable in his
ation, criticizing humanity for doing Egypt “with the devils they knew” rather Friedman, 35, who was raised own skin.”
nothing about the dire events taking than face life on their own, Farhi said. in a Conservative Jewish home in Friedman ends the set by suggest-
place around the globe. “It’s one of the biggest problems of Haddonfield, where she had a bat ing that one way to humiliate a Nazi is
“The fact that people today are humanity, being trapped in this dark- mitzvah and went to Hebrew school to subject him to the kinds of harass-
so into gossip and reality TV, it’s like ness,” he said. “It’s a very human behav- through 10th grade, focused mainly ment women face on a daily basis.
drugs that keeps them asleep while ior. People are born in the cave, chained on two subjects in her set: misogyny “If we in America treat Nazis the
bad things are happening,” Farhi said. with their heads against the cave, and and neo-Nazis. way we treat women, at the very
“That’s the concept of the album; it’s a they don’t want to leave the cave. And A couple of minutes into the set, least, they will never become presi-
wake-up call, shaking people up.” Plato realized that all the way back she argues that while it’s tough to be dent,” she said.
It’s not an unusual approach for Farhi then.” a woman right now, neo-Nazis are GABE FRIEDMAN/JTA WIRE SERVICE
and Orphaned Land, whose sound is The album helps fans move out of the
intense and often dark, and with Middle darkness, he said.
Eastern influences woven into nearly all “When you see people going to met- Candlelighting: Friday, Feb. 23, 5:22 p.m.
of their songs. al concerts, it’s like they’re out of their
The band appeals to headbangers caves,” he said. “We based the song on Shabbat ends: Saturday, Feb. 24, 6:22 p.m.
of all stripes, but also attracts fans for characters that exist. I know a Muslim
its messages of honesty and truth, as girl who had problems going to metal PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT: (USPS 275-700 ISN 0021-6747) is pub-
well as peace and unity. Orphaned Land concerts and Jewish guys who did too, CONTENTS lished weekly on Fridays with an additional edition every October,
by the New Jersey Jewish Media Group, 1086 Teaneck Road,
opened for Metallica during that band’s because they always connect metal Teaneck, NJ 07666. Periodicals postage paid at Hackensack, NJ and
NOSHES���������������������������������������������������������������4 additional offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to New
2010 Israeli concert and is considered music to Satanic messages. It’s auto- BRIEFLY LOCAL����������������������������������������������16 Jersey Jewish Media Group, 1086 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666.
the premier metal band in Israel. matic judgment. It’s the cave.” ROCKLAND����������������������������������������������������� 22
Subscription price is $30.00 per year. Out-of-state subscriptions are
$45.00, Foreign countries subscriptions are $75.00.
They’re also a band that regularly The album cover also conveys the PURIM���������������������������������������������������������������� 27 The appearance of an advertisement in The Jewish Standard does
critiques religion and politics, said Farhi, band’s message, showing elements COVER STORY������������������������������������������������ 32 not constitute a kashrut endorsement. The publishing of a paid
political advertisement does not constitute an endorsement of any
42, although this time they’re tak- of resistance and Big Brother looking JEWISH WORLD�������������������������������������������� 38 candidate political party or political position by the newspaper or
ing aim at regular people “who stand down on humanity, Farhi said. OPINION����������������������������������������������������������� 42
any employees.
around and do nothing.” “I’m not naive enough to think I can D’VAR TORAH������������������������������������������������ 47
The Jewish Standard assumes no responsibility to return unsolic-
ited editorial or graphic materials. All rights in letters and unsolic-
In a 15-minute video that Farhi made change the world, but if we make a few THE FRAZZLED HOUSEWIFE�������������������48 ited editorial, and graphic material will be treated as uncondition-
ally assigned for publication and copyright purposes and subject
for fans to introduce the album, he talks people think, that’s our contribution,” CROSSWORD PUZZLE��������������������������������48 to JEWISH STANDARD’s unrestricted right to edit and to comment
about Plato’s allegory and similar tales, he said. CALENDAR������������������������������������������������������49 editorially. Nothing may be reprinted in whole or in part without
written permission from the publisher. © 2018
including the one about the Israelite The band plans on touring the United OBITUARIES���������������������������������������������������� 53
slaves after the Exodus, who told Moses States in May. CLASSIFIEDS��������������������������������������������������54
they would have preferred to remain in JESSICA STEINBERG/TIMES OF ISRAEL REAL ESTATE�������������������������������������������������� 57
AT THE MOVIES:
T
hey could dance. Oh, could they
dance.
Really, they shouldn’t have
been able to. They were Holo-
caust survivors, people who had lived
through hell and seen more and suffered
more and lost more than the rest of us
could begin to imagine seeing and suffer-
ing and losing.
And they were in their what? Eighties?
Nineties? Surviving the Holocaust hadn’t
stopped the aging process. They were old.
But they had energy and life. And also
memories of sadness and unspeakable
horror. And also all the ailments that the
ever-creative human body can inflict on
people who have the temerity to grow old.
All of this — life, sickness, death, joy,
hope, despair, and remarkable gump-
tion, plus some real estate, which is an
unavoidable truth about life in the metro-
politan area — are on display in a surpris-
ingly subtle documentary, “Four Seasons
Lodge,” which will be screened at Con-
gregation Beth Shalom. (See box.)
The film is about a Catskills bungalow
colony whose residents all were Holo-
caust survivors. science-speak into English for the vast Holocaust survivors,
Its director, Andrew Jacobs, will be majority of the rest of us, who also are above, spent many
at the screening, and he will talk about not science guys. summers together
the film and answer questions after it’s “Four Seasons Lodge” was released in at the Four Seasons
shown. 2008. “We filmed it over the course of Lodge in the Catskills.
Mr. Jacobs was not a filmmaker when two summers,” Mr. Jacobs said. “But I dis- New York Times
he made “Four Seasons Lodge,” and covered the place in 2006. I was doing a reporter Andrew
he has not finished another film since, series for the Times then on summer life Jacobs, left, directed
the documentary
although he is working on one now. in the Catskills, and I sort of stumbled on
about their lives.
But he was so taken with the stories at this place.”
the lodge, and so sure that the best way He’d talked his Times editors into the
to tell them was to show them, that he series because he was so fascinated by
decided to tell them on film. the Catskills that he convinced them that
In real life, he’s a New York Times readers would be too. His interest, he
reporter. He lived and worked in China said, went back to his childhood.
from 2008 to 2016; since then he’s “I went up there a lot when I was a kid, leaders of the lodge. And we started talk- sell the place, then reneged on the deci-
worked on international stories, and now driving around in the summer, in the old ing, and I was just smitten by him.” sion and kept it going for another two
he’s a science reporter. “I’m not at all a Borscht Belt, and I had a house up there,” Hymie features prominently in the doc- years before selling it for real. They were
science guy,” he said; that’s a good thing, he said. “The old Borscht Belt is really umentary. The Four Seasons Lodge was a old before the first sale was made, and
however, because he is able to translate fascinating. You see the formerly majestic co-op, and Hymie was both an owner and not surprisingly did not get younger as
crumbling old hotels, and an archipelago the resident manager. He was in charge time passed.
Who: Andrew Jacobs, the director of of bungalow colonies occupied by cha- of maintenance, so in one sequence So Mr. Jacobs knew that he wanted
What: “The Four Seasons Lodge,” will sidim, like some 17th century shtetl. It we viewers get to hear a series of resi- to tell the lodge’s story, and he wrote
talk about the documentary at is the combination of those worlds that dents call, yell, shout, practically yodel, a small piece about it in the Times, but
Where: Congregation Beth Sholom, intrigued me. “Hymie!” “Hymie!!” “HYMIEEEE!!!!” “by then the summer was over, and the
354 Maitland Ave. in Teaneck “The series I wrote was about bunga- It’s charming for us, but it was not at all story ended up being really short, and I
When: On Sunday, March 4, at 7 p.m. low colonies, and someone down the charming for him. wanted to do something more.”
road from the Four Seasons told me, “Hymie told me that this was going to Although he’d never made a movie
How much: It’s free, but reservations
‘You should check up on this one. All the be their last summer,” Mr. Jacobs said. before, “I thought it would be the best
are requested by March 2
residents are Holocaust survivors,’” he This idea — that this would be the lodge’s way to capture them. Not in a book,
For more information and to register:
continued. “So I drove by and pulled up last summer — provides the only plot the because the personalities, the essence of
Go to www.cbsteaneck.org
and met Hymie Abramovitz, one of the documentary has. The residents voted to SEE LODGE PAGE 8
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and sides, to sushi platters, dips, sandwiches, soups, and more—Available online 24/6
Maxine Neuhauser and James P. Flynn, both attorneys with Epstein Becker & Green,
P.C.’s Litigation and Labor/Employment Practice, will present an informative workshop in
understanding, identifying and preventing sexual harassment in the workplace.
The presentation will be followed with a Q&A session with our expert panel, including
Ellen Singer Shell, Founder and President, ERSNY Consulting, LLC, brings 25 years’ of
Human Resources experience both as an in-house Senior level Corporate HR Executive
and as an independent HR consultant. Over the course of her career, Ellen has
fielded allegations of harassment and hostile work environment, conducted internal
investigations, worked with Counsel to make determinations, and delivered a variety of
seminars to address workplace concerns.
Allison Limmer, LCSW, Senior Clinician at Jewish Family & Children’s Services, adept at
providing the emotional support services for those who may have experienced trauma
or anxiety associated with harassment or discrimination.
This program is presented by Jewish Family & Children’s Services, Project Ezrah, and
Women’s Philanthropy of Jewish Federation of Northern New Jersey.
No more AR-15s
Quickly planned rally in Teaneck shows depths of concern about school shootings
JOANNE PALMER
T
here was something about last
week’s school shootings — that
something was the deaths of
17 people, students and their
teachers, at the hands of a disturbed
19-year-old and his legally bought assault
rifle — that made it hard for Lydia Sul-
tanik of Englewood to do nothing.
She’s not a veteran organizer but she
is a mother — she has three grown sons
— and sitting still just wasn’t an option.
So, late on Friday afternoon, when
she decided that she’d had enough,
she talked to Helen Deutsch — whom
she had just met online, “showing the
power of social media,” Ms. Sultanik
said, and met in person for the first
time on Monday — and the two of them
agreed to organize a rally in Teaneck.
It was just before Shabbat when she
went to work; she scheduled the rally for
President’s Day, so many people were
away, and although the temperature was
reported to be in the low 40s, it felt raw
and miserable out; later it would rain.
But still people came; there weren’t Protestors against gun violence rally at curbside in Teaneck.
a huge number of them, but they
included two children under 7, Teaneck course there are the teachers, who are
Council member Adam Sohn, and a human shields. That is not part of their
mascot — a newly adopted dog named job description.
Sparky. “A spark speaks volumes here,” “Something has to be done.
Ms. Sultanik said. “The rhetoric cannot be just ‘My con-
The rally’s goal, as Ms. Sultanik wrote dolences to you.’ That is not enough.
on Facebook and in the Teaneck shuls “The students who are going to march
listserv, was “No guns and magazines on March 24 are marching for their lives.
of mass destruction to be allowed in the
USA. Better Mental Health Coordination
of Services. Period. Please, no backpacks
and no signs. Let our voices be heard.”
The participants asked people driving
I can’t in all
by to honk in solidarity. Many did. honesty see
The rally was organized so quickly and
in such innocence that there was no per-
another child
mit for it. And there was no problem with die. I remember
that. “There was a police officer there,
who was so nice,” she said. “He told us
Columbine and
not to stand in the street, or too close to Newtown.
the curb, but that was for our own safety,
and it really made sense.
“He just said that if we do it again, get We have a responsibility to them as well.
a permit.” We have to at least have a conversation
Why did she and Ms. Deutsch feel com- going. It is a very complicated issue — it’s
pelled to start a rally? complicated even in my own mind — but
“The impetus was my conscience,” Ms. I do know that my conscience dictated
Sultanik said. “I can’t in all honesty see that it can’t continue like this any more.”
another child die. I remember Colum- Although the Second Amendment
bine and Newtown” — Columbine was guarantees the right to bear arms,
the first mass school shooting, in 1999, “nobody needs an AR-15,” she said. “It’s A demonstrator holds a sign for motorists to read.
when the student murderers killed 13 nowhere on Maslow’s pyramid.” Abra-
people before they turned their guns on ham Maslow was the psychologist who “I saw a quote that said that Parkland,” the rally. “It was perhaps the most civil
themselves, and Newtown was the Con- created the hierarchy of human needs where Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High demonstration I ever attended,” he said.
necticut town where the murderer shot that has physical requirements like food School is, “was one big shiva,” she added. “No one screamed at us. We held signs
his mother, 26 first-graders and teachers, at the bottom and self-actualization at the “That shouldn’t be.” asking for people to honk if they agreed
and then himself in 2012. “And then of top, and guns nowhere. Barry Lichtenberg of Teaneck was at with us, and there was a lot of honking.”
LAVISH
Michele & Daniel Ross. Participate in the Mitzvah
lunch where you will bring joy and engage our
seniors, or choose from other luncheon options.
Themes include: Floral Design; Wine & Cheese
Celebrating Mimouna with Virtual Tour of The Metropolitan Aquacise for Adults
Yasmin Lindberg Museum of Art WITH MARGARET CHIBOOKIAN
Mimouna is a three-century-old North African WITH MICHAEL NORRIS, PHD Use the natural resistance of water with zero
Jewish celebration held the day after Passover, impact on your joints. Enjoy increased tone,
Egyptian Art: An introduction to the Egyptian
marking the return to eating chametz (leavened strength, stamina, range of motion, and decrease
galleries of the Metropolitan Museum of Art
foods), which are forbidden throughout the your overall stiffness.
that will guide you from the banks of the Nile to
week of Passover. Join us for a hands-on Egypt’s famous tombs and temples. Thursdays, 10:45-11:25 am
workshop and learn how to make the famous NEW! Drop in for members/each session $10 open
Paintings of the Dutch Golden Age: Get to
traditional “Mimouna Sweets.” to the public
know the paintings of Frans Hals, Jan Vermeer,
Tues, Mar 13, 8pm, $30/$35 and Rembrandt.
TO REGISTER OR FOR MORE INFO
2 Tuesdays, Mar 13 & 20, 11 am-12:30 pm,
$30/$36
VISIT jccotp.org
STAY IN THE KNOW! LIKE US ON
facebook.com/KaplenJCCOTP
KAPLEN JCC on the Palisades TAUB CAMPUS | 411 E CLINTON AVE, TENAFLY, NJ 07670 | 201.569.7900 | jccotp.org
JEWISH STANDARD FEBRUARY 23, 2018 11
Local
Savoring the connection to those Israelis. Their country is not only about clashes
between the charedi and the Women of the Wall. Nor is
secular life the only alternative to Orthodoxy. There are
vibrant places where “average” Israelis can enter into the
Reflections on returning from simchas in Israel tradition in a comfortable, non-threatening atmosphere.
A non-Jewish acquaintance challenged me before the
LOIS GOLDRICH On this trip, my daughter — who spent some 10 years liv- trip, asking why we were celebrating the bat mitzvah
ing in Israel — served as our “personal Israeli,” raising her abroad. When I said it was particularly appropriate to hold
Proud doesn’t begin to describe my feelings as I watched my voice when necessary to negotiate prices and scrutinizing a religious ceremony in Jerusalem, she clearly was taken
granddaughter — poised, competent, and radiant —- become food labels to ensure that my grandchildren’s food con- aback. “You’re an American,” she insisted. Yes — I replied,
a bat mitzvah last week at a small shul in Jerusalem. tained no gluten or sesame. Happily, gluten-free visitors and a patriotic one at that. But what does that have to do
And not just any shul— but the one where her father, aunt, can do quite well — even scoring such Israeli standards as with celebrating a religious ceremony in Israel? She didn’t
and uncle had celebrated their own simchas years before. bourekas and malawach. get it. Neither do many Jews.
Pride vied with nostalgia as I recalled these events and the My 10-year-old grandson loved everything we did. Israel is a beautiful country — and a wonderful place to
pivotal role they played in my children’s lives, forging a life- Surprisingly, at least to me, he said his favorite part of vacation — whether for its topographical diversity or its
long connection between my family and the land of Israel. the trip was touching the stones of the Kotel — though religious and historical significance. I am also convinced
‘Earning It’
Joann Lublin of Ridgewood and the Wall Street Journal
talks about the traits of successful businesswomen
ABIGAIL KLEIN LEICHMAN and Campbell Soup. And that makes and professional setbacks not always related
their stories all the more interesting,” to gender, so it became a leadership book on
After interviewing 52 female corporate executives for her Ms. Lublin, a Pulitzer-Prize winning how to overcome obstacles.”
book, “Earning It: Hard-Won Lessons from Trailblazing journalist, said. Some of the executives she interviewed
Women at the Top of the Business World,’’ Wall Street A majority of her interviewees had had been fired from previous jobs, had lost
Journal management news editor Joann Lublin of Ridge- children, but Ms. Lublin was sur- spouses, or had battled cancer. Yet they got
wood identified four common leadership traits. prised to discover that the proportion their stride back and became more empa-
She will tell stories about four women, each of whom of working moms was even higher thetic leaders as a result of their difficult expe-
ERIN COVEY CREATIVE
exemplifies one of these traits when the editor and long- among those who became public com- riences, Ms. Lublin said.
time Ridgewood resident speaks at the annual Lunch and pany CEOs. She has given more than 100 talks to cor-
Learn Study Group of the Bergen County section of the She devotes an entire chapter, porations, business schools, and nonprofit
National Council of Jewish Women on March 6 at Temple “Manager Moms are Not Acrobats,” to groups about “Earning It.” One of those talks
Emeth in Teaneck. (See box for details.) busting the myth of the work-life bal- was at Temple Beth Or in Washington Town-
Although Ms. Lublin would not say what those four ance. The working mother, Ms. Lublin Joann Lublin ship; she has been a member of the synagogue
traits are — she’s keeping that for the luncheon — she read- asserts, chooses to be more devoted and its sisterhood since 1990. That was the
ily agreed to share with Jewish Standard readers other to her children or her career at various stages of her life, year she and her husband, Michael, moved to Ridgewood,
insights gleaned from writing her book and from reader because achieving an equal balance between the two is after living in New York for two years. Locally, Ms. Lub-
reactions to it. (It was published by HarperCollins imprint an elusive goal. lin also has spoken also at the Rotary Club of Ridgewood,
Harper Business in October 2016.) She discovered early in her research that women the YWCA of Bergen County’s annual breakfast honoring
“Very few women are at the helm of U.S. companies, yet became better leaders by overcoming obstacles. “The women of valor, the Ridgewood Public Library, and Book-
nearly two-thirds of the women I interviewed are experi- original hunch was that those obstacles only had to do ends in Ridgewood.
enced public company chief executives, well-known cor- with gender bias,” she said. “But it became clear in the Certain patterns have emerged at these talks, she said.
porate leaders at companies such as GM, IBM, DuPont, course of my reporting that these women had personal “Reactions vary depending on how much of the audience
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; Executive directors and heads from 35 American Jewish day schools.
Members of the new Fair Lawn Hadassah board.
r PHOTO COURTESY FAIR LAWN HADASSAH
In perfect harmony.
YOUR PEACE OF MIND.
T
Mr. Riccardi, 37, never saw Mr. Armstrong, who died in
he opening night of the Rockland Jewish Film 1971, perform.
Festival is April 3. But the first screening is much “When I was 15, I saw the movie ‘“The Glen Miller
sooner — on March 14. Story,’” he said. “I said, this man is great. I started listen-
That’s when “Body and Soul: An American ing to Louis Armstrong and started reading about him. A
Bridge,” an hour-long documentary, screens at the Rock- lot of the biographies of the ‘70s had a narrative that Arm-
land Community College theater. Why so soon? Because strong was a genius as a young man but then he sold out
the theater will be used for the school play soon after. and became popular. I never bought that. I devoted myself
Rockland Community College wanted to co-sponsor to rehabilitating Armstrong’s image.”
“Body and Soul” because the bridge in the film’s title is Mr. Riccardi made the case in his 2011 book, “What a
about the bond between American Jews and African Wonderful World: The Magic of Louis Armstrong’s Later
Americans. Years.”
The film uses the history of the song “Body and Soul” “Now I’m writing a book on his middle years that will
to examine the relationships between the two groups that cover ‘Body and Soul’ and all the other pop songs,” he
shaped jazz in the first half of the 20th century. said.
“Body and Soul” was written in 1930. Johnny Green The Louis Armstrong House is open six days a week.
wrote the music. Edward Heyman, Robert Sour, and “The neat thing about it is everything is one hundred
Frank Eyton wrote the words. It became a hit when per- percent original. Armstrong moved there in March, 1943.
formed by African Americans, most strikingly Louis Arm- He fell so in love with the house and neighborhood that he
strong and Billy Holiday. refused to move. It’s kind of an Archie Bunker house. He
Ricky Riccardi, the director of the research collection had a very humble side. He just considered himself a regu-
of the Louis Armstrong House Museum in Queens, will lar guy and wanted to be surrounded by regular guys.”
introduce the film. Mr. Armstrong lived in the house, in Queens, until he
“The first part of the film is the story of Johnny Green, died. When his wife died in 1983, Queens College took
the composer, of Jewish origin,” Mr. Riccardi said. “The it over. “The first thing they did was pack up all his per-
film deals with the intersection between African Ameri- sonal possessions, scrapbooks, sheet music, records,
cans and Jews in this period. Armstrong is sort of the main Riccardi said. “He helped break down the color barrier and reel-to-reel tapes,” Mr. Riccardi said. The archives he
jazz figure.” by performing with two black jazz musicians in 1936. runs at Queens College opened in 1994. In 2003 the Arm-
Armstrong’s association with Jews dated back to his Hawkins was one of the first geniuses of the tenor saxo- strong House, at 34-56 107th St. in the Queens neighbor-
childhood in New Orleans, when he was close with a Jew- phone. His own personal improvisation of ‘Body and Soul’ hood of Corona, opened; it has exhibits, a gift shop, and
ish family. “They gave him work,” Mr. Riccardi said. “He in 1939 became a hit record.” restoration.
delivered coal and worked on their junk wagon. So how important was the song to Louis Armstrong? “It looks like the late 1960s,” Mr. Riccardi said. “People
“They saw his affinity for music. They would encourage “It came during this very fertile period in the late feel they’re walking into a time machine.”
him to sing. They bought him his first cornet. 1920s and early ‘30s, where Okeh Records was starting
“Because of their affinity for him and their encourage- the transition from using Armstrong as a ‘race artist,’
ment, Armstrong wore a star of David for the rest of his playing jazz and blues, and turning him loose toward a
life. His later Jewish manager, Joe Glaser, talked about how pop audience. They started giving Armstrong all the big
he always kept a box of matzah in the house. popular love songs of the day. Armstrong proved to be a
“You can hear some of this in his music. Armstrong is natural-born genius. The way he transformed these songs
attracted to minor-key songs. He almost sounds like a can- put jazz music on the map. He takes these popular songs
tor, really wailing in those minor keys.” and makes personal interpretations. He can change the
The film’s two other main characters are Benny Good- rhythm. He can improvise. The way he approached love
man and Coleman Hawkins. songs is the way jazz musicians still approach love songs
“Goodman was another Jewish jazz musician,” Mr. to this day.
“‘Body and Soul’ came out in fall 1930. Armstrong puts
it on the map. His is the first really definitive jazz treat-
ment. His vocal is passionate. He’s swinging the entire
time. It’s completely different from any other version of
‘Body and Soul’ from the year it was composed. He let
musicians like Bennie Goldman and Coleman Hawkins sit
L ’ Shana
Stern family invite the to 9:15 p.m. Thanks to the generosity of an anonymous Participants can buy a Bible at Beth Am for $36. Pre-
L ’ Shana
community to the 21st donor, the class is free, although students are asked to buy registration for the course is required. To register or for
annual Israel and Pearl a hardcover Bible. more information, email [email protected]. Light
Stern Memorial Lecture. The course, taught primarily by Rabbi Daniel Pernick of refreshments will be provided during each session.
Tovah!
This year, it will be in mem- Beth Am Temple, will focus on Jewish holidays, life-cycle Beth Am Temple, a Reform synagogue, draws its con-
Tovah!
ory of Lila Stern, who died observances, beliefs, traditions, and related topics. The gregation from throughout Rockland County and north-
in September. The lecture, class presents a learning opportunity for a comprehen- ern Bergen County. It is at 60 East Madison Ave, in Pearl
which includes brunch, is sive overview of Judaism for people who are in interfaith River. For more information, go to www.bethamtemple.
set for Sunday, March 18, at Rabbi Steven Weil relationships, planning to marry a Jew, or preparing to org.
10:15 a.m.
Rabbi Steven Weil, the senior managing director of
the Orthodox Union, will tackle “Are We on the Verge
Of WWIII? — The Shia, the Sunni, the Iran Agreement,
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Be our Guest! Rockland
The Orangetown Jewish Center
Rabbi Craig Scheff Rabbi Paula Mack Drill Rabbi Ami Hersh
Lloyd Fishman, President Sandy Borowsky, Educational Dir.
The Orangetown Jewish Center
8 Independence Ave. Orangeburg, NY · www.theojc.org 845-359-5920
Wishing the
Jewish community
A scene from “Keep the Change.”
of Rockland a ReelAbilities
Happy Purim Three films put spotlight on special needs
Larry Yudelson Styron.
C
“It centers on her daughter, who devel-
ome April, Rockland residents oped migraine headaches in her early
Temple Beth Sholom — and wise New Jerseyans who teens,” Ms. Leader said. “It’s an incred-
Come Celebrate With Us! realize that Nanuet is no far- ible film that will appeal to people inter-
228 New Hempstead Rd. · New City, NY ther away than Manhattan and ested in how many people suffer from
845-638-0770 · www.tbsrockland.org cheaper to travel to and park in — will migraines. Four people on the selection
celebrate Jewish films at the Rockland committee suffer from migraines.”
Rabbi Brian Leiken · Cantor Anna Zhar
Jewish Film Festival. “Out of My Head” shows on Thursday,
But before that, in March, another film March 8, at 7:15 p.m.
W
comes to town, also under the auspices “Scaffolding,” screens on Monday,
of the Rockland JCC. March 12, at 7:15 p.m., is an Israeli film
Visit us online for Mishkan T’filah, new publications, back-in-print classics, e-books, certificates, and more
For more information and to order, go to ccarpress.org or call 212-972-3636 x241. | CCAR | 355 Lexington Avenue | New York, NY 10017 | ravblog.ccarnet.org
P
scroll — a world in which events are for-
urim is in the air, and I find
myself considering what it
will be like to celebrate this
ever bewildering and ultimate outcomes
unerringly unclear.
You will live in a world where charac-
“Make your Purim
sweet again”
festival for the first time as ters will loom larger than life, for better
an Israeli citizen. And, so far, it feels or for worse:
strange… A world of spiteful villains, like Haman,
Because, you see, I’ve always consid- whose hatred knows neither bounds
ered Purim to be the paradigmatic dias- nor reason; a world of cruel, indiffer-
pora festival, with a frightening current ent leaders, like Achashveirosh, whose
running beneath the fun and games. reign is for his own comfort and who
The events that give rise to Purim will allow blood to flow in the streets,
occur at a pivotal time in Jewish his- as long as it does not spill into the pal-
tory, when the Babylonian exile is trans- ace; a world of heroes, like Mordechai,
formed from an exile of force into an who must define the red lines that can
exile of choice. After 70 years of praying be crossed only at the loss of one’s soul;
for, and dreaming of, a return to Zion, and a world of martyrs, like Esther, who
the Babylonian Jews are suddenly con- remains imprisoned in the palace at the
fronted with the reality for which they story’s end, lost to her people who are
have yearned. Persia conquers Babylon, celebrating in the streets.
Cyrus the Great allows for Jewish return So…I can relate to Purim in America,
to Israel, and the exile is potentially at France, Germany, and Poland. But Purim
its end. in Israel is a problem for me. What does
Faced with this new astounding real- this festival have to say to a people who
ity, more than 90 per cent of Babylonian are home? Who finally live in their land?
Jewry votes with its feet. The Jews stay Who miraculously are, after thousands
put. Babylonian comfort trumps the of years, in control of their own des-
imperative of return. tiny? The State of Israel certainly faces
Strikingly, it is roughly at this juncture threats of great magnitude, but they are
that the events of Purim unfold, dra- not diaspora threats. They are not the
matic events through which God seems threats of Purim.
to say: What message will Purim whisper to
If it’s diaspora life you want, it’s dias- me this year, my first year as an Israeli
pora life you will get, in all of its glory. citizen?
You will live in a world of “Vena- I find the answer, perhaps, in one of
haphoch Hu” — a phrase from the Megil- the strangest halachic features of this
lah connoting extreme instability and festival; the talmudic development that
transience — a world where nothing is feels almost like Purim Torah (a parody
stable, where your fate can turn on a of the law).
dime, where the whims of others will Based upon the Megillah’s narra-
define your destiny. tive, the rabbis determine that Purim
198 W. ENGLEWOOD AVENUE 488 CEDAR LANE
You will live in a world where I will be should be celebrated on different days in
hidden, as hidden as I am in the Megillah SEE AIR PAGE 28
201-833-9950 201-928-4100
Air of the conquest of the land under Jewry from this analysis could
FROM PAGE 27 Joshua. According to these rules, not be more clear. While each
different places. Their analysis in the Tal- Shushan would not celebrate like individual community across
mud, which carries practical implications Shushan! the globe and across time con-
to this day, can be roughly broken down • S i m p l e ! S hu sh a n i s a n tributes to the exquisite tapestry
into the following points: exception! of Jewish thought and tradition,
• According to the Megillah, the Jews cel- Isn’t this abundantly strange? the eternal center of Jewish life
ebrate victory over their enemies on the Logic would dictate that if you want remains rooted in the land of
14th day of Adar throughout Persia — with to mark an event that occurred in Israel. Within the scope of the
one exception. In the walled capital city of the city of Shushan, the temporal Jewish journey, “diaspora time,”
Shushan, the battle lasts an extra day. In yardstick for that commemoration like each community that gives
Shushan, therefore, the celebration takes should be based on Shushan. The birth to it, is forever ephem-
place only on the 15th day of Adar. rule should be: any city that was eral. Only “Israel time” remains
• To mark this phenomenon, we will walled at the time of the Purim eternal.
decree that Purim be celebrated through- story, like Shushan, will be consid- And, perhaps, counterintui-
out the world on the 14th day of Adar — ered a “walled city” and will cele- tively, this message of Israel’s
with one exception. In walled cities, Purim brate Purim accordingly. centrality is the perfect mes-
will be celebrated a day later, on the 15th, Why create a yardstick on the sage for my first Israeli Purim,
as a remembrance of the celebration in basis of events that bear no obvi- as well. For I will celebrate this
Shushan. ous relevance to the Purim story? diaspora festival as never before;
• But wait a minute! How shall we define Why force the very city whose deeply appreciative of the Jew-
a walled city? At what historical point must experience you are commemorat- ish journey that has brought me
a city be walled, to be considered a city ing to become an exception to its Rabbi Goldin is surrounded by four more of his Israeli to this moment, but even more
that will celebrate like Shushan. own rule? grandchildren. GOLDIN FAMILY appreciative that my journey
• Simple. We will pick the moment of the There can be, it seems to me, has brought me home.
conquest of Israel under Joshua. Any city only one answer to these ques-
that was walled at that moment of history tions. From the rabbinic perspective, Jew- in the diaspora, will be defined by the con- Shmuel Goldin, who was the senior rabbi at
will be considered a “walled city” and will ish ritual time and experience is gauged by quest of the Land of Israel. There is no Congregation Ahavat Shalom in Englewood
celebrate Purim like Shushan. only one source, the Land of Israel. Even “Shushan time” when it comes to Jewish for 30 years, made aliyah last fall. He now
• But wait a minute! Historically, the date of the Purim festival, the only fes- ritual; there is only “Israel time.” is that shul’s rabbi emeritus and senior
Shushan was not a walled city at the time tival on the Jewish calendar totally rooted The message that emerges for diaspora scholar for Nefesh B’Nefesh.
Purim
candy, prizes and more.
Celebration
SUN, FEB 25, 1-4 PM
Carnival opens at 12 noon for families
with children with special needs
KAPLEN JCC on the Palisades TAUB CAMPUS | 411 E CLINTON AVENUE, TENAFLY, NJ 07670 | 201.569.7900 | jccotp.org
28 JEWISH STANDARD FEBRUARY 23, 2018
Purim
The co-president of the sisterhood at Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley, Debra
Feiler, along with Lauren Gross and Susan Liebeskind, coordinated this year’s
mishloach manot program at the Woodcliff Lake synagogue. The shul will ship 217
boxes throughout the United States, and deliver 603 baskets to members and friends
in the Pascack and Saddle River valleys. The baskets include cookies, chips, dried
fruit, raisins, bottled water, and hamantaschen.
The sisterhood also supports the needy in the community by giving a monetary
donation to Mazon, a Jewish national nonprofit agency that provides food, help, and
hope to hungry people of all faiths and backgrounds.
•
MICHAEL LAVES
The Jewish Center of Teaneck held a pre-Purim youth hamentaschen bake, led by
congregant Lisa Mincis.
Join seniors at the Federation Apart- The shul is at 510 E. 27th St., corner Shop at the One Stop Shop for your Purim Seudah
ments in Paterson to hear a Megillah of 12th Avenue. For information, go to
reading on Wednesday, February 28, at www.PatersonShul.com or call gabbai
7 p.m. Costumes are encouraged. Jerry Schranz at (908) 581-2972.
Ideas for sweet holiday baskets from Royal Wine, Kayco, and Kosher.com
Everyone loves Purim, but some- variety of Extra Creamy Milk handmade Tuscanini Parchment Crackers,
times the shaloch manot (gift Chocolate bars filled with each in a variety of flavors. Beigel Beigel
baskets exchanged with friends either Strawberry crème Pretzels are baked, not fried, for a healthy
and family) can be a little…under- or Vanilla crème and cook- crunch. Then let Haddar Tahini and Zeta
whelming. Instead of the same ol’ ies. U-Bet Chocolate Syrup Cold-Pressed Olive Oil inspire some cre-
same ol’ this year, why not sur- always makes milk and ice ative dips. And Tuscanini’s classic Mari-
prise them with something unique cream more fun — or have a nara and Tomato Sauces make mealtime
— an imaginative mix of sweet and throwback with old-fashioned egg a snap. For a real twist, include some Sea
savory treats to enjoy throughout creams. Someone with a sweet Castle Roasted Seaweed snacks with sea
the festival and beyond. tooth might like Absolutely Glu- salt in your savory baskets.
First, the basket itself doesn’t ten Free Raw Coconut Chews with Speaking of dinner, don’t forget that
have to be dull. Consider something Chocolate and Cocoa Nibs —the company’s coming! Go to Kosher.com for
useful that recipients will want to chews are paleo friendly, vegan, menu ideas, recipes, and tablescapes for
keep, like a pretty recyclable shop- and contain no eggs, dairy, or soy. an unforgettable spread. Try corned beef
ping bag, shower caddy, or flower Even calorie-counters can celebrate spring rolls, beef pizza with tahini drizzle,
pot hand-decorated by the kids. without guilt thanks to Manhattan and tempura cocktail dogs for a meal that’s
Next, the goodies. For a good Chocolates’ Original Chocolate far from average, yet easy to prepare and
time, don’t forget that bottle of Shoe Leather and Dark Chocolate classy enough to impress. These recipes
“something.” Lightly sparkling Shoe Leather, only 50 and 60 calo- won’t keep you chained to the kitchen, so
Bartenura Moscato and White ries each. you’ll have plenty of time for Purim fun.
Champagne are offered in 375 ml. On the savory side, Gefen Kayco is the leading kosher food dis-
bottles by Kedem/Royal Wine. The Roasted Chestnuts are peeled and tributor in America, and can be reached
younger generation will enjoy a variety of Grape — all available in mini-bottles. ready for snacking or cooking. Or build at www.kayco.com. Below is an easy rec-
Kedem juices — such as Concord Grape, Now for the sweets. Elite has the answer your own snack on a crispy foundation ipe from Kosher.com for classic haman-
Sparkling Grape, and Sparkling Peach to every chocoholic’s dream, with a wide with Absolutely Gluten Free Crackers or taschen. Enjoy!
MAKES 3 DOZEN with plastic wrap and 1/4-inch thick. Every few maining dough and roll and cut any
DOUGH place in the fridge for rolls, peel back the top dough scraps you have, making sure to
3 large eggs one hour to firm up. parchment and sprinkle sprinkle a little flour under and over the
1 cup sugar Preheat oven to 350 a little more flour on the dough before you roll.
1/2 cup canola or vegetable oil degrees. Line 2 to 3 dough. Bake for 14 to 16 minutes, or until the
seeds of one vanilla bean large cookie sheets with Use a 2- to 3-inch drink- bottoms are lightly browned but the
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract parchment paper or ing glass or round cookie tops are still light. Slide the parchment
3 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for silicone baking mats, or cutter to cut the dough paper onto wire racks to cool. Store in
dusting bake in batches. Divide the dough in into circles. Use a metal flat blade an airtight container at room tempera-
1 teaspoon baking powder half. spatula to lift up the circle and place ture for up to five days or freeze for up
dash salt Take another two pieces of parchment on another spot on the parchment that to three months.
FILLING and sprinkle flour on one; place one has been sprinkled with a little flour.
1 cup raspberry or other jam dough half on top, and then sprinkle a Place about 3/4 to 1 teaspoon jam in Recipe by Paula Shoyer, courtesy of kosher.
In a large bowl, mix together the eggs, little more flour on top of the dough. the center and then fold in the three com, reprinted with permission from “The
sugar, oil, vanilla bean seeds, and vanil- Place the second piece of parchment sides towards the middle to form a
Holiday Kosher Baker” (Sterling 2013).
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P
ositive psychology, also known as According to the three pillars of posi- difficult situation is their choice. Once
the science of happiness, is all the tive psychology, however, a state of happi- we’ve modeled positive thinking in their
rage lately. Developed by Martin ness can in fact be achieved; if we focus on developing years, being positive or nega-
Seligman in 2002, it recently became the satisfaction with the past, contentment in tive is entirely up to them.
most popular course offered at Harvard. the present, and optimism for the future, On the flip side, focusing on short-
Twice a week, 900 students packed into joyfulness and serenity will follow. comings and weaknesses will affect our
Tal Ben-Shahar’s lecture hall to learn how I recently learned something simi- thoughts and behavior negatively. (“It’s
to get happy. Based on research from the lar from Rebbetzin Chana Reichman in too hard. I’m going to fail.”) Thus it’s im-
emerging field of positive psychology, a beautiful d’var Torah she shared; the portant to teach our children the tech-
Ben-Shahar concentrated on what makes middle two letters of the Hebrew word nique of positive self-talk to direct their
people happy, rather than on their limita- sameach, which means happy — the letters thoughts towards a positive outcome.
tions and pathologies. The course he was mem and chet — are the Hebrew word for (Self-talk is simply talking to yourself.
teaching is consistent with what the sages brain. When we instruct our brains to act It’s the inner speech in which we engage
tell us to do in the month of Adar. When in accordance with our wishes, we really Dr. Tani Foger in all the time.) If we focus on the posi-
Adar arrives, they say, we should increase can experience greater joy and happi- tive, it will shape our thinking and impact
our joy. ness. Accordingly, when we make a con- can make a mindful effort to achieve daily. our behavior positively. (“If I relax, I can
So how do we do that? scious decision to be enthusiastic, when The trend in positive psychology is do better. I can handle this.”) In his book,
Every year as Purim approaches, and we chose to see a cup half full, when we frequently to ask “What’s good in my “Positive Self-Talk for Children,” Douglas
the Hebrew calendar changes from She- opt to look at the positive in a situation, life right now?” This question automati- Bloch emphasizes that children can be
vat to Adar, I ask myself how we can be it makes a difference in our overall mood cally focuses us on the positive, on our taught to have an optimistic view of prob-
commanded to be joyful. That sounds like and outlook. Happiness and “joy, there- strengths and advantages, as a spring- lem solving by learning positive self-talk,
a tall order, if not an outright impossible fore, are not something we feel automati- board for looking at our life, rather than such as “I can handle difficulties.” Then
task. Perhaps we can be coaxed to feel cally all the time, but rather something we using our shortcomings and failings as a later, when confronted with a challenge,
point of departure. a child will tell herself, “I can find a solu-
As adults, we come to realize that life tion for this. I’ll keep trying.” As a result
YOUR CHILD needs special education. can be challenging at times, yet we learn of an internal dialogue filled with positive
that what defines us are not the challeng- coping statements, a child is more likely
You want her to have a Jewish education. es we face, but rather how we meet those to persevere.
You want him to be included. challenges. We all know people who seem
blessed with a more positive attitude than
others, who seem to take any challenges
life presents them in stride. Clearly facing
challenges with a positive attitude makes
it easier to navigate a difficult road. That How can we
be commanded
would seem to be the lesson and the gift
of Adar. It’s also an essential life lesson to
to be joyful?
model for our children.
In a world peppered with natural
disasters, violence, and human suffer-
ing, having a positive attitude may not
alter the facts, but it can help make the
intolerable more tolerable, and life more
manageable. Although we can’t control
many of life’s events, we can teach our
children that they can control their reac- Thinking positively can become a
tions to them. way of life for all of us if we approach
INCLUSION by DESIGN
® Children generally are very aware of these suggestions with intentionality
their parents’ attitudes, and they tend to and mindfulness. The month of Adar is a
be good imitators of their parents’ be- great time to start to incorporate positive
liefs and feelings. Good moods, like bad thinking and positive psychology into our
Serving Children with a Broad range of SpeCial needS
moods, are contagious. Therefore, it’s repertoire, particularly because our sages
important to consider how we behave mandate us now to increase our joy. May
Special education uniquely integrated within Jewish Day Schools in front of our children, since they most we all merit a positive attitude no matter
probably will copy our habits and imitate what the circumstances. I wish everyone a
• Individualization • Educational excellence our coping strategies for years to come. wonderful month of increased joy.
• Meeting each child’s academic, social, and emotional needs If children learn to develop a positive at-
titude when they are young, it becomes Tani Foger Ed.D of Englewood, a psychologist
Elementary Schools n High Schools n Adult Services
second nature for them to employ positive and educational consultant, is the founder of
thinking. Later on in life, positive thinking Let’s Talk Workshops. She and her husband, Soli,
www.sinaischools.org/js • 201-833-1134 can alleviate many of the pressures con- an architect, are the parents of four sons.
T
he dream of having a family a history of testicular surgery or trauma,
sometimes eludes a couple when experience sexual dysfunction, or have a
getting pregnant becomes a chal- history of subfertility with a prior partner.
lenge. There are an estimated1-in-10 cou- With the above being said, if couples are
ples in the United States who are facing unsure when they have tried for enough
infertility issues. For a variety of reasons, time, we never mind couples coming in for
many women are choosing to postpone consultation, and we can determine if it
childbearing until they are in their 30s or appropriate to initiate a workup.
40s, but the biological clock waits for no AOC: What services are offered at
one. The rate of infertility increases with The Valley Hospital Fertility Center?
maternal age. Experts said about one- Dr. Greenseid: The Valley Hospital
third of infertility is attributed to the fe- Fertility Center is a full-service fertility
male partner; one-third to the male part- center. We begin with initial consulta-
ner; and one-third to a combination of tions and diagnostic workups. We offer
issues in both partners or is unexplained. intrauterine insemination, in vitro fertil-
The Valley Hospital Fertility Center in ization, preimplantation genetic testing,
Paramus, which includes Drs. Ali Nasseri, ovum donation, sperm donation, gesta-
medical director; Dehan Chen, associate tional carrier use, and much more, includ-
clinical director, and Keri L. Greenseid, ing overall support through this difficult The physicians of The Valley Hospital Fertility Center in Paramus, from left, Dr. Ali Nasseri, Dr. Keri
helps couples make their dreams come process. Greenseid, and Dr. Dehan Chen.
true to become families with children. AOC: When standard infertility
About Our Children turned to Dr. treatments have failed, what are the other
Greenseid to learn more about the matter.
AOC: When should a woman consult
options for women?
Dr. Greenseid: This is truly an individ-
Hours by Appointment (201) 384-0300
a fertility specialist? ual case-by-case answer. It will depend
Dr. Greenseid: If a woman is under on the background infertility diagnosis
age 35, she should see a fertility specialist and why we think certain treatments are
evaluation after1 year of unprotected in- failing.
tercourse without conception. If a woman AOC: Is there anything else that you
is age 35 or older, she should see a fertil-
ity specialist evaluation after 6 months of
would like to add?
Dr. Greenseid: We are here to provide
Howard M. Friedman, M.D.
unprotected intercourse without concep- patients the opportunity to achieve their Christopher Weiss, D.O.
tion. Reasons to seek a workup sooner dream of a family. We hope the hard-
may include: suspicion that a woman is est part of their journey is just getting Shana M. Kaye, M.D.
Margaret M. Love, M.D.
not ovulating, women at risk for prema- to us, and once here, we hope to provide
ture ovarian failure or early menopause, confidence, support, reassurance, and
history of endometriosis or concern for outstanding medical care to help them
tubal or uterine disease, or if the couple achieve their dreams. Early Sick Call now
for your camp
is concerned their offspring may be at ge- Visits & school
netic risk based on their background or Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our
family history. Reasons to seek a workup Children. Available! physicals!
T
1 magician, tons of giveaways he birth of a baby has to be the most exciting time
Checkup Parties fill up quickly for a family. It can also be overwhelming espe-
so call today to make sure
your family is included!
cially for first-time parents who do not have the
experience in caring for newborns.
See our video on YouTube
There are hundreds of manuals, reference books, and
Richard S. Gertler, DMD, FAGD internet information that detail how best to care for a new-
Ari Frohlich, DMD
Sami Solaimanzadeh, DMD born in the first few weeks of life and during infancy. Even
Disney has published a two-volume encyclopedia on baby
and childcare, which is actually quite a good reference set. contrary, vaccinations have proven to be an important
The following, however, is a list of recommendations method in protecting your newborn from many infant
that I think will ensure excellent care for newborns and and childhood diseases. These vaccinations should con-
infants and at the same time alleviate some of the fears tinue throughout infancy and childhood.
parents may have that they are not doing all they should 5. Keep follow-up appointments with your pediatri-
1008 Teaneck Road • Teaneck
in caring for their newborn. cian. Your first appointment with the pediatrician is criti-
201.837.3000 1. Select a hospital or birth center that is designated cal and should be made within the first week of life for
www.teaneckdentist.com a Baby-Friendly facility. A list of facilities can be found your newborn. At your first visit, your physician will check
on babyfriendlyusa.org, along with information that is many things on your baby including the baby’s cord stump,
considered by many to be the “gold standard of care.” The which should be cleaned carefully with a cotton ball dipped
Children’s Center at Chilton Medical Center, for example, in alcohol and which should fall off naturally by itself in
is a designated a Baby-Friendly hospital. To obtain this about 10 days; your infant’s skin color and the possibility
designation, several criteria have to be met, including of jaundice which may require a bilirubin level; as well as a
having expert nursing staff that offer hands-on lessons in complete physical exam including the normal reflexes seen
feeding, bathing, and changing babies. This professional in newborns. At this visit, you will also have the opportu-
help is invaluable to parents especially when newborns nity to discuss feeding and sleeping patterns of your new-
room-in with mothers at a designated site, giving parents born. Subsequent routine pediatric visits are recommended
and babies an opportunity to establish a routine of care according to a schedule set forth by the American Academy
that can be carried over to home after discharge. of Pediatrics that usually occur at one month, two, four,
2. Breast-feed your baby. A huge part of the care rou- and six months, and at ages 9 and 12 months.
tine is the feeding of newborns, and a focus on the value of All things considered, parents will quickly discover the
Passover produced in the first few days after birth, has been shown
to have the right balance of fluids and nutrition that a new-
will require adjustments by parents in responding to their
newborn baby’s cues for care. For example, crying infants
Cookbooks born needs along with the protective immunity that only
breast milk provides. For these reasons, all mothers should
do not always need to be fed. They may be fatigued, may
need to have a diaper change, or may be uncomfortable in a
for Adults & Kids attempt to breastfeed their infants.
3. Pay attention to your baby’s weight changes.
certain position; or they may have a condition called reflux
associated with “newborn colic” which may need further
2 winners will be chosen from Whether one breast or bottle-feeds or uses some com- evaluation. A parent should not hesitate to call the pediatri-
all entries received by March 16, 2018 bination of both, a newborn needs to feed every few cian for advice or reassurance if this comes up.
hours for adequate nutrition and hydration. Since most No matter what the temperament of your newborn
Name __________________________________________ newborns may lose up to10 percent of their birth weight or how easy or difficult it is to care for your baby, par-
in the first few days after birth, which is mostly water ents should not hesitate to turn to family members and
Ages of Children __________________________________ weight loss, parents should check the adequacy of a ba- friends for help in the first few weeks after their baby is
Street __________________________________________ by’s oral intake by monitoring the frequency of wet and born. Providing the proper care for newborns is exhausting
City/State/Zip ____________________________________ soiled diapers. They also should make note of what the for parents who try to go it alone. Letting others help with
discharge weight is for the baby when leaving the birth dinners, laundry, shopping, etc. will give parents more time
Phone __________________________________________ facility. A newborn will usually regain their birth weight to spend with their newborn and enjoy the many rewards
Email ______________________________________ one to two weeks after birth, and should be monitored of watching their newborn develop.
by a pediatrician closely if this is not the case.
Mail to:
4. Vaccinate your baby. Before discharge from the Frank Briglia, M.D., is the medical director of The Children’s Center
Jewish Standard, 1086 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666
facility where your baby is born, you should start the at Chilton Medical Center in Pompton Plains. Dr. Briglia has been
or fax to: 201-833-4959 by March 16, 2018.
vaccination schedule approved by the American Academy a practicing pediatrician for more than 30 years. He is a father
*By entering this contest you agree to have your name
of Pediatrics and have the Hepatitis B vaccine adminis- and has recently become a grandfather again to another beautiful
added to the Jewish Standard e-mail newsletter list.
tered at the time of birth. Despite media reports to the granddaughter.
P
urim is right around the corner and it is one of our the newspaper, you may say, “Here is an article on the ef-
most joyous holidays. Along with all the revelry fects of drinking on your mind, what do you think about
comes drinking and often unsafe behavior ensues. what it says?” Temple Beth El of Northern Valley
Some parents are at a loss as to how to talk to their teens It is at those times that we can also ask our teens,
about drinking. But we need to find the way to do it. Not Nursery School
“What do your friends say about smoking, drugs, drink-
only for Purim, but all year long. ing?” “What plans do you and your friends have in place
221 Schraalenburgh Road, Closter, NJ 07624
According to Rabbi Abraham Twerski, there is no if you are put into a difficult situation with drinking?”
201-768-3726 www.tbenv.org
mitzvah on Purim to drink irresponsibly. Rabbi Twer-
ski has been alerting the community of the increasing 4. Be your teens’ safety net
problem of alcohol abuse and marijuana smoking among Our children need to know that if they find themselves
Jewish adolescents. Due to the gravity of the problem he in a sticky situation they have a way out. It’s important
entreats parents to avoid encouraging intoxication. to tell your teens that if they are ever in trouble they can
Here are some ways to talk to your teens about drink- call you at any time of the day or night. Reassure them
ing and other unsafe behaviors on Purim and throughout that you will not be angry, just happy that they called you
the year. when they needed you. Purim continued on page 19
T
wenty-five years ago, a group of
Jewish women in North Bergen
County saw a need, and formed
a grassroots organization that today has
100 women and their children participat-
ing. The JCO, that is the Jewish Communi-
ty Organization of North Bergen County,
is based in Upper Saddle River, Woodcliff
Lake, and environs, but volunteers its
woman and kid-power to agencies and
people throughout New Jersey.
On Friday, March 2, the JCO joins with
Make-A-Wish New Jersey in hosting a fun-
draiser at the Edgewood Country Club in
River Vale. This is the fifth year that the
JCO has partnered with Make-A-Wish New
Jersey in raising $10,000 to send a young-
ster on their dream trip. This year, the re-
cipient is a17-year-old Bergen County girl Board members of the Jewish Community Organization of North Bergen County.
who has a brain malformation. The teen-
ager is an animal lover, and especially loves membership, are holding their own bowl- busy. Each spring the Junior JCO gathers gift wishes for150 children at the Second
big felines. Her wish is to see the big cats ing fundraiser on March 9 at Montvale to prepare Passover bags for commu- Street Youth Center in Plainfield.
up close at Dade City Wild Things, a zoo in Lanes in Montvale. Less the cost of bowl- nity seniors. The bags are stuffed with On Mitzvah Day 2016, a group of JCO
Florida that offers guided safari tours and ing, all the money raised will go toward Passover staples, decorated by the kids members and their children volunteered
up-close encounters with its animals. the Make-A-Wish pot, said Ms. Ceslowitz. and delivered to the senior seder at the to help SafelyHome paint the interior of
“We are responsible for raising the “We really want to teach our children new YJCC. the Hackensack group home for the Alli-
funds to send these youngsters on the to give back and we start them early, long The JCO has also partnered with the ance Against Homelessness.
trip of their dreams,” said Stacy Ceslowitz, before they do their bar and bat mitzvah Healthbarn Foundation, Healing Meals, to And each spring, the JCO holds a
co-president of the JCO, along with Lisa projects,” she said. “We want to instill the prepare nutritious meals for children and Lemonade Stand and Food Truck Fest to
Halperin. values of giving back in our children.” their families with serious medical issues. help raise funds for pediatric cancer re-
“This is our single largest fundraiser The youngsters give back and then Each December, the JCO holds its search with the Junior JCO participating
of the year,” said Ms. Ceslowitz, a mother they get back. annual Chanukah party, to celebrate the by serving lemonade to the crowd. This
of two daughters, 8 and 9. This year for the first time, a young- holiday and thank its members and their year’s event will be held on May 2 from
But it’s not just the women who are ster will be recognized at the ladies children for their efforts in giving back to 2:30 to 6:30 p.m. in Lions Park, Upper
helping the teenager get to Florida. The luncheon. The JCO is awarding the JCO the community. In conjunction with the Saddle River.
Junior JCO, that is, the children of its Leadership in Community Award to Ben party, the JCO participates in NJ Cares’
Carter, a 13-year-old eighth-grader at Frosty Friends program. Through this gift- Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of
George G. White Middle School in Hills- giving program, last year the JCO fulfilled About Our Children.
dale for his tireless volunteer effort.
Said Robyn Carter, Ben’s mother and
a member of the JCO, “He is a stand-up
kid. He is always quick to volunteer and
to make a difference. It’s his nature. He’s a
Ma’ayanot ‘Geniuses’ to Help
doer and a helper.”
Among his many volunteer efforts,
Women in Community
Ben is a Big Brother, volunteers with se- Apple ain’t got nothing on these girls. eral computing. A pre-session will
niors at the Jewish Home in Rockleigh, is Women in the community are in- also be given by an HR professional
an assistant teacher at the Hebrew school vited to the second annual Genius Bar, and Ma’ayanot’s technology staff
at Temple Emanuel of Pascack Valley in a “reverse mentorship” program spon- about LinkedIn, Personal Branding,
Woodcliff Lake, and more. sored by Project Ezrah and Ma’ayanot Google Apps, and Advanced internet
Said Ben, “It makes me happy when I Yeshiva High School for Girls. Women resourcefulness.
help people.” eager to learn technology skills will be The Genius Bar Technology Men-
“The JCO is doing such good work,” paired with Ma’ayanot student men- torship for Women will take place
said Ms. Carter. “We’re very proud of tors who will work one-on-one to help March 5, 12, 19 ad 26 from 11:12 a.m. to
Ben and appreciate that he’s getting this them achieve their goals. The Genius 12:20 p.m. at Ma’ayanot, 1650 Palisade
award. We encourage other kids to take Bar, which is free, has several menu op- Ave., Teaneck . Sign up: https://goo.
the initiative as well.” tions from which to choose, including gl/66UQUN. More info: https://www.
Ben Carter, 13, feels happy when he’s helping The youngsters in JCO are kept pretty Google apps, Microsoft Office, graphic maayanot.org/event/genius-bar/ or con-
people. design, iMovie, social media and gen- tact rachelbookgmail.com.
to the camp you grew up in? Enjoy so many of the activities 201-262-9898 Session Dates: Multiple sessions in July and August
you loved in NKDC, and build on that love with the NKDC 201-262-3026 Cost: $800 with early bird discounts
Experience! Get all the fun of NKDC, with the added bonus of www.ssdsbergen.org/summer-steam Counselor to camper ratio: 3:15
weekly field trips, special workshops, and more. Grades: Rising fifth through eighth graders (as of Deadline for registration: Rolling admissions through
September 2018) start dates
ACADEMIC/ENRICHMENT CAMPS Dates: August 13-17 & August 20-24 Camps offered in musical theater with final performances, as
Cost Per Child: $650/per week; $600/for two weeks. well as an early childhood music program for toddlers and
Big Time Sports Broadcasting Camp Counselor to Camper Ratio: 8:1 pre-school kids. Please see our ad on page 11.
1420 Walnut Street, Suite 605 Deadline for Registration: April 30; cancellations made before
Philadelphia, PA May 1 are eligible for a full refund less a $100 administrative Bounce U
Phone: 800-319-0884 fee per course. Cancellations made after May 1 are not eligible 70 Eisenhower Drive
www.playbyplaycamps.com for a refund. Program fees are not refunded or prorated for Paramus, NJ 07652
Boys & Girls Ages 10 – 18 days missed due to illness or injury. Participants enroll in one 201-843-5880
Dates: July 9 – 13 course per week; multiple session discounts will be applied to www.bounceU.com/paramus-nj
Day/Overnight options available individual participants and siblings. Coed, full day program, www.Facebook.com/BounceUParamus/
The Sports Broadcasting Camp, located on the campus of including lunch and snacks (9 a.m. to 4 p.m.). Early drop-off 424 Market Street
Montclair State College in Montclair this summer, is celebrat- is available starting at 8 a.m .and late pick-up until 4:30 p.m. Nanuet, NY 10954
ing its twelfth year. Learn from the pros. Meet sports celebri- for an additional cost of $50/week per family. Please see our 845-623-5400
ties; make play-by-play, sports anchor, and reporting tapes. ad on page 13. www.BounceU.com/nanuet-ny
Participate in mock sports talk radio and PTI-style shows, and www.Facebook.com/BounceUNanuet/
much more. Please see our ad on page 16. SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY CAMPS Create and Bounce Art Camp
A little bit of exercise goes a long way toward inspiring your
Schechter Summer STEAM Camp Science Camp (NKDC Specialty Camp) artists’ minds. BounceU’s Create and Bounce program gives
The Solomon Schechter Day School of Bergen County Kaplen JCC on the Palisades kids a chance to enjoy physical activity and creative time in
275 McKinley Avenue Taub Campus equal doses, offering an experience that’s healthy, mentally
New Milford, NJ 07646 411 East Clinton Avenue engaging and seriously fun. Complete with lunch, snacks, and
Tenafly, NJ 07670 games, it’s a one-of-a-kind camp experience they’ll never for-
201-567-8963 get. Please see our ad on page 3.
ART
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 3rd through 6th Cresskill Performing Arts
Lessons
Art of Excellence Studio
Mon. through Friday, July 9 – August 9,
9 a.m. – 4 p.m. (one week sessions)
Explore the world of STEAM — science, technology, engi-
300 Knickerbocker Road, Suite 1100
Cresskill, NJ 07626
Phone: 201-390-7513
neering, arts, and mathematics. Each week experienced sci- and 201-266-8830
Unlock your Creativity with Classes in Drawing and Watercolor www.cresskillperformingarts.com
Structured Lessons • Relaxed Atmosphere • Fabulous Results! ence teachers will facilitate a challenging and innovative pro-
gram using hands-on experiments, projects, and lots of fun. Ages: Toddlers – adults (studio)
Age 7 to Adult - All levels of ability Ages: 3 – teens (camp program)
All-inclusive, providing lunch, snacks, daily swim and towel
Art Portfolio Preparation Available service. Campers have access to transportation and extended Born to Perform April Break Camp is April 2 – 6. Half day and
ARTS & CRAFTS CAMPS FOR KIDS THIS SUMMER! care services. JCC membership required for campers in grade full-day camp available. Dancing, acting, singing, arts & crafts,
Artist, Rina Goldhagen 201-248-4779 3 through age 10. gymnastics, silks & hammocks & Iyra, creative Legos, and
www.artofexcellencestudio.com more. Be productive, busy, happy and challenged during the
Big Idea Hi-Tech Camp (NKDC Specialty Camp) school break. Born to Perform Summer Camp: 3 programs,
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades 9 weeks, ages 3 – teens. Preschool Performers. Creative Chil-
Taub Campus dren, Preteen/Teen Exploring Artists come for one or two
Gymnastics • Silks & Hammocks & Lyra 411 East Clinton Avenue weeks or all summer. June 25 – August 24. Early drop-off/late
Tenafly, NJ 07670 pick-up helps working parents, too. Early registration gift; call
Cresskill Grades: 3rd to 8th grade 201-390-7513 for details. Please see our ad on page 12 .
Dance • Acting • Musical Theater • Voice • Choreography
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Performing Arts Sessions: Monday-Friday, June 25 – August 17, 9 a.m. – 4
p.m. (two-week sessions available)
Dance Intensive (NKDC Specialty Camp)
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
300 Knickerbocker Rd · Cresskill Design your future at our innovative tech camp. Big Idea is a Taub Campus
perfect mix of cutting-edge tech workshops and outdoor sum- 411 East Clinton Avenue
Imagine your child mer fun. Children get to focus on special projects, including ro- Tenafly, NJ 07670
201-567-8963
having fun in the arts! botics, digital photography, coding, 3D modeling, DJ, film pro-
duction and even fashion, all taught in hands-on workshops www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
by professional instructors from Israel and the U.S. Curriculum Grades 3 through 11
developed by Big Idea, the leaders of tech education in Israel. Sessions: Monday through Friday, July 30 – August 10, 9
All-inclusive, providing lunch, snacks, daily swim, and towel a.m. – 4 p.m. (two-week session)
service. Campers have access to transportation and extended Enjoy two weeks of dance technique that explores all the lat-
care services. JCC membership required for campers in grade est crazes and new dance forms. Students take sessions in bal-
three through age 10. let, jazz, and hip-hop each day, while working toward an end-
of-camp dance performance on stage and in costume. Improve
ARTS, PERFORMANCE AND MUSIC CAMPS skill level, build strength, and gain more flexibility while hav-
ing a great time. All-inclusive, providing lunch, snacks, daily
Art of Excellent Studio swim and towel service. Campers have access to transporta-
Artist, Rina Goldhagen tion and extended care services. JCC membership required for
Dates: Summer 2018 campers in grade 3 through age 10.
Ages 7 – Adult
201-248-4779 Center-Stage (NKDC Specialty Camp)
Join us! www.artofexcellencestudio.com Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Born to Perform April Break Camp Themed Arts and Craft camps available this summer. You can Taub Campus
email inquiries to [email protected]. Ongoing 411 East Clinton Avenue
April 2–6 Tenafly, NJ 07670
lessons and portfolio classes available. Unlock your creative
Summer Performing Arts Camp with classes in drawing and watercolor. Please see our ad on 201-567-8963
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Weekly, Monthly, All Summer page 12.
Grades 4 though 9
June 25–August 24 bergenPAC Performing Arts School Sessions: Monday through Friday, June 25 – July 13, 9
REGISTER NOW Summer Programs
1 Depot Square
a.m. – 4 p.m. (three-week session)
This exciting performing experience for beginner/intermedi-
Camps are filling fast! Englewood, NJ 07631 ate and advanced actors combines everyone’s favorite, “Alice
201 390-7513 • 201 266-8830 201-482-8194 in Wonderland,” and its comic sequel, “Through the Looking
www.bergenpac.org/summer Glass,” to create an incredible high-level Broadway-style musi-
[email protected] Ages: 3 months to 18 years old cal with set, costumes, challenging dialogue, big musical num-
www.cresskillperformingarts.com bers, and solos. Includes daily workshops in acting, movement,
SPORTS PROGRAMS/CAMPS
Ice Vault
10 Nevins Road
Wayne, NJ 07470
973-628-1500
www.icevault.com
Summer ice hockey camps include: Erik Nates Euro Hockey
from August 20 through August 24; FUNdamental Camp (At-
oms to 10 years old) from July 2 to July 6; Laura Stamm Power
Skating for 7 to 11 year olds, and 11 to adult, July 9 through
July 12; ProAmbitions from July 23 through July 27. Please
check the website for summer applications Basketball Camp (NKDC The Michelle Weiss Children’s Tennis campers. Juniors ages 5-9 (must be 5 by July
and updates. Please see our ad on page 19. Specialty Camp) Camp (NKDC Specialty Camp) 1). A traditional camp program. Group sizes
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades Kaplen JCC on the Palisades are no more than six campers. Teens ages 10-
Multi-Sport Camp (NKDC 14: A special life skills camp that helps teens
Taub Campus Taub Campus
Specialty Camp) 411 East Clinton Avenue 411 East Clinton Avenue gain the skills and confidence they need to
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades Tenafly, NJ 07670 Tenafly, NJ 07670 become self-sufficient in activities of daily
Taub Campus 201-567-8963 201-567-8963 living, while enjoying a full camp experience.
411 East Clinton Avenue www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps Special attention is given to life skills as well
Tenafly, NJ 07670 Grades: 3rd through 8th Grades: 3rd through 8th as academic enrichment. Group sizes are no
201-567-8963 Sessions: Monday through Friday, June Sessions: Monday through Friday, July 23 – more than 8 campers.
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps 25 – August 17, 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. (one August 17, 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. (one week ses-
Grades: 3rd through 8th week sessions) sions) On Our Own
Sessions: Monday through Friday, June 25 –
If you love basketball — this camp is for you. Whether your camper has his/her sights on
Young Adult Summer Camp
August 17, 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. (one week ses- Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Our JCC basketball professionals bring their the US Open or is just looking for some time
sions) Taub Campus
love of the game and incomparable coach- on the courts with friends — this camp will
Perfect for campers who like variety. This ing skills to teach and enhance your camper’s provide a swinging good time. Campers will 411 E. Clinton Avenue
camp focuses on building fundamentals skills at every level. Includes performance enhance their understanding of the game and Tenafly, NJ 07607
across a variety of sports, for all skill levels, training to build strength, endurance and build skills and confidence through interac- 201-408-1489
in a relaxed and fun environment. Campers flexibility, which increases productivity. All- tive games and drills, while also increasing www.jccotp.org/special-needs-summer-
will love making use of all the courts and inclusive, providing lunch, snacks, daily swim strength, endurance, and flexibility through
programs
fields the JCC has to offer, while learning and Transitions: ages 15 – 21, Monday through
and towel service. Campers have access to performance training. All-inclusive, providing
improving their skills. Includes performance Friday, June 25 – August 17
transportation and extended care services. lunch, snacks, daily swim and towel service.
training to build strength, endurance and Adults (ages 21+), June 25 – August 10
JCC membership required for campers in Campers have access to transportation and
flexibility, which increases productivity. All- 9:30 a.m. – 2:30 p.m.
grade 3 through age 10. extended care services. JCC membership re-
inclusive, providing lunch, snacks, daily swim quired for campers in grade three through On Our Own is a life skills program for teens
and towel service. Campers have access to age 10. and young adults with intellectual and devel-
transportation and extended care services. opmental delays, including autism, who have
JCC membership required for campers in sufficient communication and self-help skills
SPECIAL NEEDS SUMMER PROGRAMS
grade three through age 10. to independently participate with a 1:4 staff-
Camp Haverim ing ratio. Participants gain the skills needed to
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades become self-sufficient in important activities
Taub Campus of daily living. Activities include a wide range
411 E. Clinton Ave. of socialization opportunities, community
Tenafly, NJ 07607 inclusion/instruction and trips, academic en-
richment, sports, swimming, music therapy,
Your Child’s
201-408-1489
www.jccotp.org/special-needs-summer- yoga, specialized art program, dance, cooking,
programs computers and more. Trips may include visits
Day Camp!
two-week camp for children and teens with
autism and other intellectual, cognitive and participants must have an intake interview.
developmental delays, with sufficient com-
Therapeutic Nursery
munication and self-help skills, and attend 11
months of special schooling. Campers partici-
at the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Four, Five, Six, Seven or Eight Week Sessions Available pate in a diverse full-day program, including Taub Campus
social skills, swimming and water park activi- 411 E. Clinton Avenue
ties, sports and adaptive physical education, Tenafly, NJ 07607
yoga, academic enrichment, music therapy, 201-408-1489
arts, and therapy dogs. Small camper-to-staff www.jccotp.org/special-needs-summer-
ratio to meet camper needs with highly quali-
programs
fied staff. An intake interview is required for Summer-only option, space permitting, July
all new campers. State funding and scholar- 9 through August 17. Monday through Friday,
ship assistance is available. JCC membership morning 9 –1:30 a.m., afternoon 12:30 – 3 p.m.
is not required. The Therapeutic Nursery is a developmental
language-based parent/child program for
Neil Klatskin Day Camp: Tikvah children ages 3–6 with a variety of develop-
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades mental difficulties, including language disor-
Tuition Includes: Wide Variety of Programs: Taub Campus ders, ADHD, high-functioning autism, social
411 E. Clinton Avenue and emotional challenges, as well as selec-
• Daily Catered Hot Kosher Lunches • Serving Pre-K • Arts & Crafts • Soccer tive mutism.
to 10th Grade • Archery Tenafly, NJ 07607
• Daily Transportation • Football 201-408-1489
• Low Camper to Counselor Ratio • Nature • Mad Science • …and so www.jccotp.org/special-needs-summer- Toddler Socialization Class at the
• Go Karts • Basketball much more! Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
• Red Cross Instructional Swim • Ropes Course • Cooking
programs
Sessions: Monday through Friday, June Taub Campus
• Extended Day Option Available 25 – August 17, 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. 411 E. Clinton Avenue
4-Year-Old Heated Campers with communication, social, behav- Tenafly, NJ 07607
Program pool and ioral and learning differences participate in 201-408-1489
Available air conditioned a diverse full-day camp program, including www.jccotp.org/special-needs-summer-
multipurpose social skills, sports, arts and crafts, ceramics, programs
music, adaptive physical education, both in- Sessions: July 10 through August 9,
building
Call or Email for a structional and recreational swim, waterpark, Tuesdays and Thursdays, 9:30 – 11 a.m.
For children ages 2 to 3 years who are ex-
Personalized Tour! petting zoo, theme days, playground time,
carnivals, Shabbat, and more. Small camp- periencing delays in language acquisition or
[email protected] er-to-staff ratio to meet individual camper socialization skills. Contact Lois Mendelson,
needs with highly qualified staff. Half-day Ph.D., director at 201-408-1497 email TN@
(973) 956-1220 afternoon (1-4 p.m.) option available for jccotp.org or visit jccotp.org/tn.
campers who attend 11 months of schooling
(Proof of extended school year is required).
[email protected] An intake interview is required for all new
WeLoveCampVeritans
(973) 956-1220
225 Pompton Road, Haledon, NJ 07508
N 201-391-0801 or
erything on their plate, dinnertime will be few: “I was worried and now I am angry. I these techniques we are modeling appro-
othing bothers parents more than far from peaceful. expect you to call when you are going to priate responses and thereby teaching our
losing it with their kids. How can Ask yourself: Are any of my expec- be late.” children ways to manage their own anger.
we control our tempers and par- tations of parenting too high and unat-
ent without anger? tainable? Getting a better more realistic
Here are some techniques that picture of what makes a good parent will SPORTS BROADCASTING CAMP!
can help. go a long way in helping you keep calm. is back for our 13th year
87 Overlook Drive
gham) might think, “Good parents just breathe deeply or go into another room.
don’t get angry,” therefore I must be a bad Wait it out. This helps you move out of
parent, which makes us feel inadequate the “flight or fight” mode and helps the
and even more angry. hormones to move back into your pre-
We need to realize that our anger is frontal cortex. It is only then that you are
probably a result of the frustrations and truly better able to handle your anger.
annoyances that come along with raising
Temple
Temple Emanuel
Emanuel of
of the
the Pascack
Pascack Valley
Valley •• Woodcliff
Woodcliff Lake,
Lake, NJ
tel: 201-391-0801
Lower your expectations ritation and resentment we should not let
We bring a lot of unrealistic expectations it fester. If we keep our anger inside and
Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley • Woodcliff
Discounts Lake, NJ
for Early Registration.
to parenting that contribute to feelings of we have no way of letting off steam, we
inadequacy which, in turn, increases the blow up, lose our cool and, with it, our We We invite
We invite
invite you
you to youor
to call
call orto
E-mail
E-mail Price remain the same as
Richard
Richard Tannenbaum,
Tannenbaum, 2017/2018 for the ECP
odds of getting angry. Some examples of dignity and authority. But he had one ca- call
our
or email our
this distorted thinking are: veat: parents could express their anger, our Executive
Executive Director
Director at
at New for 2018-2019 school year:
I should always feel happy when but they could not insult, accuse or blame
EARLY
201-391-0801
201-391-0801 or
or Early drop off for 2, 3- and 4-year-
www.tepv.org
I parent; their child in the process. CHILDHOOD
[email protected]
[email protected] with
with any
any questions.
questions. olds, Monday-Friday, 7:30-9:00 a.m.
My kids should always look neat He suggested using “I” statements.
Temple
PROGRAM (ECP) Extended hours for 3- and 4-year-
and clean; For example, when your child balks when Temple Emanuel
Emanuel of of the
the Pascack
Pascack Valley
Valley
87 &
Overlook Drive
87 Overlook Drive olds, Monday-Friday, 2:00-6:00 p.m.
My kids should always behave; asked to clean his room you can try say-
Dinner needs to consist of the major ing: “I am getting frustrated and upset. CAMP@ECP
Woodcliff Lake, NJOffice
Woodcliff Lake, NJ 07677
07677 Added incentives:
We invite
tel:
tel: you to call or E-mail
201-391-0801
201-391-0801
food groups and my kids need to eat all When I ask you to clean your room, I ex- 201-391-8329
Richard Tannenbaum,
www.tepv.org If you register for school and camp
of it. pect you to clean your room.” www.tepv.org
[email protected]
our Executive Director at no later than March 1, you will
If you think that your children should When a child is running around, in- receive $500 off school tuition.
201-391-0801 or
always look neat and clean (you may not stead of saying, “You are so wild today. Go to http://tepv.org/ecp/
[email protected] with any questions.
even be aware that you have this expecta- You are impossible!” you can say: “I am
If you register for school only,
for info and registration forms no later than March 1, you will
tion), you will be fighting a lot of battles tired and I am getting angry. It is bedtime
TEPV Ad.indd
TEPV Ad.indd 11Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley receive $300 off school tuition.10/31/14
10/31/14 2:01
2:01 PM
PM
with your kids. There will be lots of anger. now and it is time for you to get into bed!” Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley
87 Overlook Drive
87 Overlook Included with your school tuition
Woodcliff Lake, Drive
NJ 07677
Adina Soclof is a parent, professional development instructor, and speech pathologist, and founder of Woodcliff Lake, NJ 07677 is Free Young Family Membership
tel: 201-391-0801
parentingsimply.com. She can be reached at [email protected]. tel:www.tepv.org
201-391-8329 along with Free High Holiday
www.tepv.org Tickets.
M A R C H
Send it to:
Calendar Editor
About Our Children
New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group
1086 Teaneck Road
Teaneck, NJ 07666 [email protected]
or fax it to: 201-833-4959
This calendar is a day-by-day schedule of events. Although all information is as timely as we can make it, it’s a good idea to call to verify details before you go. Deadline for April issue:
Tuesday, March 20, published March 30,
Simchas
Emeth, 1666 Windsor Road, Teaneck. 6:25 Megillah reading. Music and enter- mascarade, Megillah reading and more.
201-833-1322, www.emeth.org. tainment by JAP food, games, costume Beginning at 6 p.m. Hilton Woodcliff
Rubach Family Purim Celebration parade. Prizes for best costume. $30 Lake, 200 Tice Boulevard, Woodcliff Lake.
at the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades: per family. Congregation Bnai Yeshurun, RSVP: valleychabad.org/purim.
Moon bounce, slides, games, inflatable 641 W Englewood Avenue, Teaneck,
201-836-8916, www.bnaiyeshurun.org Thursday, March 1
photo booth, face painting, prizes, life-
size cartoon characters, snacks, a DJ, Shushan Street Purim in Closter: Purim Got Talent: Kids celebrate Purim
Israeli dancing, a Purim puppet show and Temple Beth El of Northern Valley and with Megillah reading, festive buffet
B’nai mitzvah sing-a-long (1:30 p.m. and 2:30 p.m.), and Temple Beth Or invites the community dinner, mishloach manot and Kids Got
Talent Show, see website for more infor-
more from 1 to 4 p.m. Sensory-friendly to a Shushan Street Purim celebration
from 6:30 to 8 p.m. See the Purim story mation. $15 per person. More at door. Bris
on January 27 at Temple hour from noon to 1 p.m. available for
Avrohom, 30-02 Fair Lawn Avenue, Fair
Emanuel of the Pascack children with special needs. Suggested enacted by Temple Beth El and Temple
entrance donation, $1 per person to be Beth Or clergy and staff. Sing along to Lawn, 201-791-7200, www.jccnnj.org.
Valley in Woodcliff Lake. donated to the Center for Food Action. your favorite Sesame Street songs with Sunday, March 4
Ride and game tickets sold on $25 Purim lyrics. There will be a Megillah Magical Purim in Westwood: The
JAKE COHEN cards for 30 tickets. Food available for reading. Come in costume. Temple Beth Jewish Federation of Northern NJ and the
separate purchase, Kaplen JCC on the El, 221 Schraalenburgh Road, Closter, 201- Bergen County Y are sponsoring a magic
Jake Cohen, son of Heather Palisades, 411 E. Clinton Avenue, Tenafly, 768-5112, www.tbenv.org performance by Magic Anthony, costume
Friedman and Randy Cohen 201-408-1485, www.jccotp.org. Dance and Sing with Heichal parade and crafts and food event from
of Ridgewood, celebrated Purim Carnival at JCCP/CBT: JCC of HaTorah: The entire community to dance 9:30 to 11 a.m. Westwood Recreation
becoming a bar mitzvah Paramus/Congregation Beth Tikvah and sing with the students and rabbis of Center, 55 Jefferson Avenue, Westwood.
on January 27 at Temple & Congregation Beth Tefillah present the yeshiva at our annual Purim chagiga $10 family donation and canned food item.
2018 Purim featuring a carnival from beginning at 8:45 p.m. Featuring Eli and RSVP, jccnnjpurimmagic.eventbrite.com.
Israel & Jewish Community noon to 2 p.m. Carnival, bouncy castle, Bentzi Marcus from 8th Day. No alcohol Purim Carnival in Montebello: Purim
ADAM AGRESTI Center in Ridgewood. AMY KIMEL moonwalk, games, lunch, snacks, cotton permitted. The Jewish Center of Teaneck, Carnival from 10:30 a.m. to noon. All
Adam Nathaniel Agresti, Amy Kimel, daughter of candy and prize. Come in costume. 304 E. 70 Sterling Place, Teaneck. 201-335-0633, students should arrive at their regular
son of Ellen and Joe Agresti Erubey and Alexandru Midland Avenue, Paramus, 201-262-7691, ext. 1030, [email protected]. 9 a.m. time. Montebello Jewish Center,
www.jccparamus.org. Purim Shpiel and Megillah Reading at 34 Montebello Road, Montebello, N.Y.
of Yorktown Heights, N.Y., Kimel of Montvale and sis- 845-357-2430, www.montebellojc.org.
Purim Carnival at the Jewish Center Congregation B’nai Israel: The annual
and brother of Jason, 21, ter of Valerie and Michelle, of Teaneck: Festive Purim carnival from Purim Shpiel and Megillah Reading will Purim at Fair Lawn Jewish Center/
celebrated becoming a bar celebrated becoming a 10 a.m. to noon in the Stein auditorium. take place at 7 p.m. Refreshments, includ- Congregation B’nai Israel: Join
mitzvah on January 20 at bat mitzvah on February Children’s games, inflatable’s, popcorn, ing hamantaschen, will be served. Bring a the Sisterhood and Men’s Progress
Temple Emanuel of the 3 at Temple Emanuel candy a raffle and more. Jewish Center non-perishable food item for food drive. Club of the Fair Lawn Jewish Center/
of Teaneck, 70 Sterling Place, Teaneck, Congregation B’nai Israel: 53 Palisade Congregation B’nai Israel at its
Pascack Valley in Woodcliff of the Pascack Valley in
201-833-0515, www.jcot.org. Avenue, Emerson, 201-265-2272, office@ annual Purim Carnival 10:30 a.m. to
Lake. His grandparents Woodcliff Lake. Purim Carnival at Congregation bisrael.com,www.bisrael.com. 1 p.m. Games, arts and crafts, prizes,
are Ed and the late Enid B’nai Israel: Annual Purim carnival from Purim Carnival at Keter Torah: Keter food and more. No entry fee, just pay
Ruzinsky of Saddle River. 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Food, games, Torah and the ATARA Sisterhood will be to play. Put on your costume. Fair Lawn
prizes and fun. All in costume receive hosting their annual Purim carnival, fea- Jewish Center/Congregation B’nai
additional game tickets. Congregation, turing food, games, rides, face painting, Israel, 10-10 Norma Avenue, Fair Lawn.
ELIZABETH EPSTEIN B’nai Israel, 53 Palisade Avenue, Emerson balloon making and more following 6:45 201-796-5040, www.fljc.org
Elizabeth Epstein, daugh- 201-265-2272, [email protected], www. Megillah reading. Congregation Keter The Whole Megillah in Montebello:
ter of Heather and Jordan bisrael.com. Torah, 600 Roemer Avenue, Teaneck, 201- Join in for ice cream social for religious
Epstein of Woodcliff Lake Mom and Kids Hamantaschen Bake: 907-0180, www.ketertorah.org. school at 6 p.m., ma’ariv, costume
Make your own traditional hamataschen. Wednesday, February 28 parade and Megillah reading at 6:20
and sister of Evan, celebrat- Wednesday, and Purim Shpeil at 7:15
5 p.m. Must reserve. $18 per person. Bris Purim After Glow at Beth Aaron: 7 to 9
ed becoming a bat mitzvah Avrohom, 30-02 Fair Lawn Avenue, Fair p.m. The event is open to the public.
p.m. Beth Aaron Youth presents Purim After
on February 10 at Temple Lawn, 201-791-7200, www.jccnnj.org. Glow party Following Megillah. Tickets $12, Montebello Jewish Center, 34 Montebello
Emanuel of the Pascack under 2 free. Beth Aaron Congregation, 950 Road, Montebello, NY. 845-357-2430,
www.montebellojc.org.
Valley in Woodcliff Lake.
SPENCER SCHRAGER
JORDANA BRIEF
Jordana Brief, daughter of
Spencer Schrager, son of
Jessica and Eric Schrager
of Paramus, celebrated
PARTY
Jessica and Andrew Brief of becoming a bar mitzvah
Woodcliff Lake and sister on January 20 at Temple
of Sam and Ruby, celebrat- Emanuel of the Pascack
ed becoming a bat mitzvah Valley in Woodcliff Lake.
healthy heart
is a FREE Heart Screening
Prevention is at the heart of staying healthy. This comprehensive
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EVENTS &
CELEBRATIONS
WINTER 2018
FIRST PLACE
CATERER
Jewish Standard S-3
Senior moments..........................................4
High school reunions touch the past lovingly
Home in.......................................................8
Where stylish entertainment can happen
Sunday, March 11
12 NOON - 4 PM
We’re more than horses. Come out to our Mitzvah Showcase 2018 to see what makes us a
state-of-the-art venue! Explore all of our unique spaces including the impressive Victory
Sports Bar & Club, with its massive customizable screens and premier lighting effects.
Network with our preferred vendors and sample delicious selections from our gourmet chefs.
FREE TO ATTEND for guests who register at playmeadowlands.com/mitzvah
S-4 Jewish Standard WINTER 2018 CELEBRATIONS
SENIOR
MOMENTS
High school reunions touch the past lovingly
Heidi Mae Bratt and graduated with her class of nearly
600 from Teaneck High School in 1975.
T
here is that The school offered classes in Hebrew
image about language and Jewish history.
the sand mov- The former director of senior and
ing through adult services at the JCC Rockland
the hourglass. County, Ms. Wind is now a resident of
When the top Boyton Beach, Florida, and has fond
is full of sand it memories of her high school years. It
appears as if the sand is moving was a good time in Teaneck, she recalls.
very slowly through the narrow She and her closest friends were very
divide to reach the bottom. As involved in Jewish life at the Teaneck
the sand empties, it appears to Jewish Center. Ms. Wind was even direc-
be moving much more quickly tor of her B’nai B’rith youth group.
to the bottom half of the hourglass. Phys- “I had a great high school experi-
ics aside, does the rate of movement has- ence,” said Ms. Wind, who attended her
ten as the hourglass empties, or is it the 10-year reunion, but skipped the interven-
viewer’s perception? People ponder this ing years. The earlier reunion, she said,
question when it comes to time. How was tinged with a sense of competition:
often have you heard someone say, “Time “Where are you heading career-wise? Who
is moving so fast, so fast.” It’s measured did you marry or not? Where are you liv-
in the growth of children, once toddlers, ing and how big is your house?”
then teens, then adults. The issue is how But when she attended her 40th
do we spend our time, the most precious reunion, which took place at the Teaneck
commodity that is irreplaceable. You can Marriott at Glenpointe, that feeling was
replace money if it is lost, but time? No. nowhere to be found.
Time is lost for good. “At the 10th we were just starting our
We look for touchstones and milestones adult lives,” said Ms. Wind, who lived and
that mark our place where we were, where raised her family in Rockland County.
we are, and where we are going in life. For “We’d finished college, graduate school,
many of us, high school was a memorable medical school, law school. We were hav-
time for good, or not-so-good reasons. It ing babies and comparing our lives with
was the transition between adolescence the lives of our fellow graduates.
and near adulthood. We remember the “At the 40th reunion we already knew
firsts. The first prom. The homecoming success and failure, happiness and the
Above, Teaneck High School Class of 1975 students, from left, Bonnie Faber,
dance. The championship football game. harsh realities of life, birth and death. We
Heidi Sperling, and Beth Janoff; below, at the 40th class reunion, Bonnie Faber
Friends. Teachers. Homework. Getting no longer cared who did what, we were
Wind, Heidi Sperling-Freeman, and Beth Janoff Chananie.
the driver’s permit. Getting the driver’s more content just seeing and hugging one
license. Growing up, but not quite, not all when a high school reunion rolls around, their lives, when enough time has passed, another.”
the way. people come up with all kinds of excuses and the so-called playing field has leveled, Beth Lessick, who graduated from John
High school reunions remain a very for not attending. it’s very heartening to take a look back. F. Kennedy High School in Plainview, N.Y.,
popular event that is celebrated by many, For others, it is an exciting prospect The nerds are no longer nerdy; the cool recently attended her 40th reunion. She
as seen on the various Facebook pages to go back in time and reminisce. For kids no longer intimidating guys and gals. was among the students in the class of
across the internet. For some adults, high still others, it may take them decades to Life has “hugged and pinched” enough of 1977. Now Ms. Lessick lives in Demarest
school is a time they would rather not visit their high school reunions, and they them that even though everybody’s life with her family. She co-owns with Cheryl
revisit. Some remember their adolescent bypass the first few rounds: the 5-year, is different; they are at a similar stage in Reiner, Demarest-based The Finer Details,
years as traumatic and cringe at the pros- 10-year-15-year high school reunion. But, their lives. and works as a professional event planner.
pect of seeing their peers ever again. So say those who are now in the middle of Bonnie Faber Wind grew up in Teaneck Ms. Lessick was on the planning
committee of her 40th high school reunion
and put her event organizing skills to
work. She said the hardest part of creating
the reunion, and this is typical for many
classes, is locating classmates, many of
whom have scattered far and wide. There
was another committee member who was
so good at locating former classmates, so
good at sleuthing, Ms. Lessick jokingly
said, “she could work for the FBI.”
Ms. Lessick’s class graduated 475 stu-
dents and 135 people attended the event,
which took place at The Long Island Hun-
tington Hilton hotel.
“Everybody looked pretty amazing,”
said Ms. Lessick. “Some of these ladies
looked like they stepped right out of the
yearbook. People are taking good care of
themselves these days. They are working
out. They are vegans, vegetarians, and it
shows.”
True to the name of her company, Ms.
Lessick took care of the finer details. She
got the DJ who played the music of 1977: Four decades and many more high school memories
The Eagles, early Elton John and Billy Joel,
Peter Frampton, Hall & Oates, and other we talked for another three hours, and A month before the big day, I tanned
NataLie JaY
classic rock musicians. Food stations were many more days. Finally, we met. my body (because it makes you look
G
set up with victuals reminiscent of eating oing back 40 years is quite a That was my first reunion. Through younger and thinner) and had a seam-
out in their school neighborhood. There journey. Natalie, I reconnected with a few others stress perfect the right outfit. I streaked
was a Jack-in-the-Box slider bar. There It all started when someone on “the Giland” and then I heard about my hair and tried to lose a few pounds.
were Funny Bones, Hostess Twinkies, and at work detected my Brooklyn classmates.com, a website for connect- Walter called daily with news of more Til-
Baskin & Robbins Ice Cream. The dress accent and I said, “Well, isn’t everybody ing with old schoolmates. I found a few denites he unearthed that might come to
code was “whatever made you feel com- who’s anybody originally more people and they found the big party.
fortable.” There was a video montage and from Brooklyn?” Someone on me. I then learned that my I made the trip across the GWB. When
a table set up with memorabilia. the staff asked about the high class at Samuel J. Tilden High I got there I saw about 200 classmates. A
It was a blast from the past, she said. school I attended, and oddly School was holding its 40th few screams were heard here and there,
“The real beauty of the reunion was that enough, her husband also reunion. Forty years! Wow! but for the most part, people looked at
there were no longer nerds or the cool was a graduate of Samuel J. The event drew even more you and your nametag and then looked in
kids. It just didn’t exist anymore,” said Tilden High School. She told people, including Walter, a yearbook and said, “Oh. OK, now I know
Ms. Lessick. “We were just happy to be all me that there was an alumni “Mr. Reunion,” himself. Wal- who you are.” But boy had we changed!
in one room and see each other. I hadn’t newsletter that was published ter, who not only found me We were definitely older and had more
been to my other reunions. It was a really three times a year and asked on the website, also called than a little wear around the edges.
great time.” whether I knew her hus- me on my cell, home phone, We all showed off pictures of our now
Cantor Barbra Lieberstein, a popular band’s cousin who graduated with me. work phone, and sent emails reminding grown-up children and our grandchil-
bar and bat mitzvah teacher in the area From there, it mushroomed. me that we were “oldies, but goodies.” dren. A lot of years had passed and we
and a resident of Ramsey, is on the com- You see, I was the class renegade who He came to see me from (where else?) were really strangers now trying hard to
mittee for her upcoming 30th reunion. crossed the Hudson River to go to college the Giland. reconnect.
Technically it is the 31st year because she in New Jersey when most of the 1,400 The night he came to New Jersey for I danced up a storm to “our music”
graduated with her class of 313 students classmates went to NYU or Brooklyn Col- our reunion (a dress rehearsal for the until parts of my body ached. Every-
from Paramus High School in 1987. The lege. After graduating they migrated to big one), I looked through the yearbook one complained about the food, which
reunion is planned for July 21 and will be Long Island (pronounced with a hard trying to remember how Walter looked. was too rich or too spicy or too bad for
held at the Hilton Woodcliff Lake. “g” as in Giland) and settled into their He was tall, thin, had a full crop of dark, their now-tender digestive tracts. We all
To find her classmates, Ms. Lieberstein lives. They wore big diamonds, lived in wavy hair. Not bad! The doorbell rang took pictures and vowed to have private
said, Facebook has been the great search big houses, and married into “yes, dear” at 7 p.m. When I opened the door here reunions and never ever lose touch again
engine, so to speak. A classmate created suburban bliss. stood a man I would have passed 20 as long as we live. I crossed back over the
a class reunion Facebook page on Ms. I figured there was nothing to lose times on the street and not recognized. GWB and breathed a sigh of relief.
Lieberstein’s suggestion, and within its from tapping into the past, so I sent He was gray, balding, had a mustache, Walter called soon thereafter because
first hour of posting, there were 75 people in $10 for the newsletter along with a and had gained more than a few pounds. he felt the need to never forget his
already on the page. note that I was looking for my long-lost But the conversation was familiar and friends. After the big event, he said he felt
Ms. Lieberstein is hoping for attendance friends. A few months later, on the same the memories vivid and we talked until depressed. Natalie called to make sure
at the reunion to be a minimum of 100 day the newsletter arrived in the mail, I 1 a.m. He even provided the missing that I made it back to New Jersey okay,
people. had a message on my machine. “I hear link that led me to my first boyfriend, and to tell me that I looked fabulous and
“I think it’s just a great connection,” said you’re looking for me,” intoned a famil- Harold, who had the lead in our junior was one of the youngest looking people at
Ms. Lieberstein, who was very involved iar voice. It belonged to my one-time high school play, “South Pacific,” and the reunion. Must be that Jersey air!
in music, doing band, chorus, and the- best friend, Natalie (yes, same name!). who sang “Some Enchanted Evening” to
ater during her high school years. “The We talked for hours and just when we me all the time. Walter convinced me to Natalie Jay is the advertising director for the
reunions bring back memories of high thought we exhausted all conversation, attend the real reunion. New Jersey Rockland Jewish Media Group.
school and make you feel young.”
S-6 Jewish Standard WINTER 2018 CELEBRATIONS
T
heirs is a love story that spans more than three
decades.
It’s the story of two people who met, fell in love,
and then life got in the way. And then, happily, life
took another turn, and is now going their way.
Charlotte Jacquelynne Poole, 69, and Michael Fred
Shapiro, 73, recently celebrated their love and friend-
ship in a well-attended and carefully put together com-
mitment ceremony at the Jewish Home at Rockleigh.
The event took place January 19, the day that Mr.
Shapiro turned 73, so the celebration, according to Ms.
Poole, was “a double whammy.”
Their tale of friendship began nearly 32 years ago on
June 12, 1986 when Ms. Poole was attending Friday night
Michael Shapiro, 73, presents a ring to Charlotte Poole, 69, during their commitment ceremony at the Jewish
services at Temple Emanu-El in Edison, and Mr. Shapiro,
Home at Rockleigh.
Having
an
affair?
FIRST PLACE
SPECIAL OCCASION
DRESS SHOP
2011-2017
Live Entertainment
Prizes every 20 Minutes.
Mishelyne’s
All attending couples will receive complimentary bridal
magazines, a bag and will be entered to win fabulous prizes.
Must be present to win.
I
t is never too early to plan ahead, especially when you Think about Theme
are expecting guests in your home. Your family and There are numerous ways your style can be shown while
friends know and might love your style, but it can be entertaining. One way is to pick a theme or theme-related
important to spice things up now and again to impress food dishes. Another way to show your theme is through
your visitors. Factors such as lights, music, and food can decorations. Placing them throughout your home can give
affect your guests experience in your home. the party some life and help guests get into the overall
To remain stylish and keep your party going, consider theme of the party. energetic atmosphere, try something with a quick tempo,
these tips for fun and festive home entertaining. such as pop. If you want to relax, go for subtler, soothing
Light up the Party tones. Try making your play list before you entertain and
Back to Basics Transforming your home can be made simpler by chang- listen to it a few times through, that way you can know
Staying organized is key while entertaining guests in your ing the lighting. It is typical for lights to be dimmed for what to expect and how guests will react to your music
home. Try to plan out every detail before the big event, parties to set a more relaxed mood. Other ideas include selections.
which can allow things to go more smoothly on the big using candles, lamps or even hanging lanterns if you are
day. As you think out your plan ahead of time, making entertaining outside. Make sure it is bright enough so Enjoy it
lists can be a helpful way to stay organized and ensure everyone can see, but dimmed enough to set the mood Through all the anxiety and stress of entertainment plan-
you get everything done. List your guests, what needs to for the evening’s events. ning, make sure you take time to enjoy yourself during the
be picked up from the store, and possible decorations you
time guests are in your home. Some guests will notice if
might need to buy or craft yourself. The possibilities can Set the Mood with Music you’re not having a good time. Smile and remember to be
seem endless, but it’s important to have a plan in place Pick music that matches your theme and inspires that present in the moment.
before you start putting things together. same feel throughout the house. If you’re going for a fun, Family Features Source: eLivingToday.com
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T
he big 80th birthday was in the not-too-distant and tickets to the theme parks.
future. My plan was to go quietly into that ninth Arranging meals was like planning the Allied invasion
decade, maybe a glass of scotch and early to bed. of North Africa. We agreed breakfast would be juice, cold
My wife Sharon thought otherwise. cereal, fruit, yogurt, milk and coffee in our rooms, which
“Let’s take the whole family to Disney World, “ she would have refrigerators and coffee makers. For lunch
effused. everyone would be on his own, because we learned
“By that you mean air fare, hotel, food and theme park that each of the theme parks had at least one eatery that Ed Silberfarb, center, is surrounded by his family on
tickets for 11 people?” offered limited kosher food, their trip to Disney World for his 80th birthday.
“Right. We must start planning now. It’s just six months We would regroup for dinner, the one time each day
away.” we would all be together. Disney can provide full kosher adorned the huge atrium. Tribal masks and other African-
Immediately three problems came to mind: (1) the cal- meals on request, and a great cloud of concern was lifted style decorations were displayed throughout the lobby.
endar, how to go when it’s not too hot, too expensive, too when we learned that the Disney kosher caterer was a But the most dramatic sight was when we entered our
crowded, and the grandchildren are free from school; (2) friend of Sharon’s nephew, Michael. beautiful room. Outside our windows were giraffes, zebras
food that is certified kosher not only by a “mashiach” but However, eating kosher food in a nonkosher restaurant and long-horned deer. Granddaughter Alina, then age 3,
also by my son, Yossie; (3) and, oh, yes, money. created the wrong impression, said Yossie, so our dinners thought they were pictures until she saw them move.
We ruled out July and August because of Florida heat, together were either in secluded corners or, on two occa- Our first day we went to the Magic Kingdom, the jewel of
vacation mobs, and high season expense. We finally set- sions, in elegant private rooms. the Disney crown, where Cinderella’s castle looms above
tled on June when the scorching weather and massive Our hotel would be the new Animal Kingdom Lodge. and tourists swirl about to await Peter Pan’s Wild Ride, to
crowds are just beginning and the school absences would Its vast interior was fashioned like the headquarters of a join Pirates of the Caribbean, and to learn that “It’s a Small
be minimized. royal African chieftain. Carved pillars of polished wood See OctogeNarian page 14
my knowledge of each
of success.”
4 Golan Flam,
Winemaker
P I
S-14 Jewish Standard 0003574344-01_0003574344-01CELEBRATIONS
10/4/13 4:12 PM WINTER 2018
instruments and singing in a western drawl. as the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow.
Octogenarian But nothing could match the charm of the Disney light There one could learn, among myriad other findings, the
from page 12
parade with floats twinkling in phantasmagorical designs secrets of manufacturing a car. In fact you can create your
World After All.”
down Main Street of the Magic Kingdom. own virtual car, computerizing its design, engine type,
Granddaughter Devorah announced that I was to be
Overriding all was the birthday, not only my 80th, but color and other details. Then six of us — Sharon, Jake, Naf-
her escort throughout Disney World. I was flattered
also nephew Michael’s 50th. He and his family and Sha- tali, Devorah, Yehuda and I — got in a simulated version of
until I learned that my movements would be restricted.
ron’s sister, Joan, joined us for part of our stay. Disney the car and went for a hair-raising test drive.
She rejected Splash Mountain where a harrowing roller-
anointed me with a saucer-size Mickey Mouse “Happy Our main meal that day was in the dramatic Seven Seas
coaster ride ended in a cold-water dunk, refreshing for
Birthday, Ed” button that evoked greetings from all pass- restaurant where one entire wall was a tank with dazzling
a hot day. Instead we experienced more sedate activities
ersby. Loneliness was never a problem when I wore it. coral reefs and tropical fish. Among the scores of pictures
GRAND
like a concert by animated bears playing country music
We ordered massive birthday cakes with suitable deco- from the trip is one showing grandson Eli appearing to be
rations for each of the four celebratory dinners, marking part of the seascape.
my 80th, Michael’s 50th, and the bar and bat mitzvahs of The EPCOT lagoon is surrounded by pavilions of Mexico,
the grandchildren. Norway, China, Germany, Italy, Japan, Morocco, France, the
The Best Selection of Disney’s newest theme park was the Animal Kingdom, United Kingdom, Canada, and the U.S. The nations strive
Talliot and which we explored on our second day. Featured was the to tell their story, show off their spectacular scenery, offer
Kippot anywhere. Safari Ride where a one-hour wait attested to its popular- their exotic food and, not incidentally, entice you to buy
Exquisite Styles
for Women, Men, ity. We climbed aboard an all-terrain vehicle with over- their unique, pricey goods.
Bar and Bat Mitzvah sized wheels and jungle markings. We rolled along rut- After sunset the EPCOT lagoon was the scene of excit-
Mention this ad for ted roads, over shallow creeks and through occasional ing fireworks, but before sunset there was another activ-
10% OFF swamps. Along the way we saw herds of elephants, hip- ity. Yossie and Michael rounded up a minyan for mincha
pos taking mud baths, both black and white rhinos, a lone behind the Canada pavilion. There is, after all, a higher
Beautifully Beaded, Crystal, cheetah, giraffes, zebras and various species of grazing calling that surpasses even Disney World.
Crocheted, Suede, Lace African deer, while a narrator told us about unseen ani-
Kippot, Tallit Clips mals hidden in the deep brush. Ed Silberfarb was a reporter for the Bergen Record in New
A walking tour brought us past a pompous-looking sil- Jersey, then the New York Herald Tribune, where he was City
Lisa Prawer ver-back gorilla and a regal lion. Less exotic animals were Hall bureau chief. Later, he was a public information officer
Convenient Bergen County Location · 201-321-4995 in a petting zoo where Alina fed sheep and goats. for the New York City Transit Authority and editor of one of its
www.thetallislady.com · [email protected] We devoted a day to EPCOT, known to the cognoscenti employee publications.
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Purim
CHANGES TO INDIVIDUAL COMPENSATION
Brurya manager Rami Patimer, whose throw one together from your parents’
parents opened the shop three decades old clothes, dressing up is a way to dra-
ago. (A possible second: “Wonder matize the victory of good over evil, says
Woman,” ever since last year’s hit movie Rabbi Binny Freedman, dean of Orayta,
featured Israeli actress and former Miss a yeshiva in Jerusalem’s Old City. And
Israel, Gal Gadot.) “Pirates are classics,” since we live in fractious times, on Purim
says Patimer. “They’re dark and they’re “it’s about an evil everyone can agree
bad — so we find them fascinating.” on,” he adds. “So the nature of the day
The cost of a typical Brurya costume provides a release.”
hovers around 200 NIS ($57), whereas And, as the masks are donned, explains
a “Wonder Woman” get-up will set you Freedman, Jews are reminded that God
back 349 NIS ($99). At the top of the pric- “masks himself in our lives, but we can
ing heap this year is the leering clown understand that, beneath the illusion,
from another 2017 release: the horror Hashem is always running the world.”
film “Circus Kane.” That costume has an If you are in Israel during Purim, pre-
equally scary price tag: 699 NIS ($198). pare to have reality turned upside down .
But whether you buy a costume or JNS.ORG
W
tory that stretches back centuries, a Brazil- houses, he didn’t go to church ever, he that branch of the family always empha-
hat is Jewish identity? ian-American, a born Jew who had no idea knew that he, like his parents and aunt sized what it is to be an immigrant, so I
That’s an old question, that he was Jewish, much less what being and uncles and cousins, eventually would grew up with them always telling us that
hackneyed even, hard to Jewish meant, until he dug out that truth, be expected to marry someone who came we are not from Brazil. That we have to live
answer, at times politically someone who could have represented a from his huge extended family. He knew as people who belong somewhere else.”
fraught. It’s got so many answers, depend- historic dead end but instead has become that his family was different, somehow. He Where it was that they belonged, how-
ing on what the question means. Is it reli- a vibrant beginning. His story is both fasci- didn’t know how or why — he just knew ever, was not clear.
gious? Ethnic? Halachic? Tribal? Genetic? nating and ongoing. that his family had odd customs and an “I grew up with stories of the challenges
Does it have to be accepted? Can it be He will present some of that story, in expectation of separation. of immigration — language, culture, tra-
rejected? How far back does it go? How far the form of an art installation called “In He is an immigrant to the United States dition, different values. There always
forward does it stretch? Is it elastic? Thy Tent I Dwell,” as well as other stories — he, his sister, and his parents moved to was the idea that we should not blend in,
What is it? and more artwork, at Temple Emeth from Miami when he was 16 — and so are his par- because we come from somewhere else.
It’s complicated. March 9 to March 11. (See box.) ents. And so were his grandparents. “This Not necessarily somewhere better, but
Jônatas Chimen Dias DaSilva-Benayon, Jônatas’s part of his story begins in story is all about immigration,” he said. somewhere different.”
as his name might signify, is a particularly Brasilia, Brazil, in 1981. He grew up in His father’s mother’s family arrived in On his father’s father’s side, the family
complicated person. He’s an artist, an what struck him as an unusually strict Brazil from Spain “not that long ago in “had been in Brazil for many generations
— since the 1600s — yet they never really Catholics, but I grew up with the idea that
adapted,” Jônatas said. “They never really there is one God, and our religion was
became part of the whole. They were being anti-Catholic. Any time that there
always self-marginalized and self-sepa- My grandfather was ostracized. was a Catholic holiday, we would boycott
rated. They had this idea that they could
not mingle with anyone else. They kept to
He did not receive any inheritance it. We didn’t even celebrate Mother’s Day
or Father’s Day, because in Brazil those are
themselves. They only married each other. from his father, because he did not secular holidays. Mother’s Day is about
“They were very aware of their own
history.”
not marry within the family. the ultimate mother — the Virgin Mary, the
mother of Jesus.
Their heritage, he said, went back to the her,” Jônatas said. “My grandfather was “We believed in God — we very strongly “This was our practice at home. We
Netherlands. ostracized. He did not receive any inheri- believed in God — but we did not have never celebrated Christmas, but New
His grandfather broke with his family’s tance from his father, because he did not a religion. I can’t even say that I was a Year’s Eve was a big deal. I grew up with
tradition by marrying outside the family — marry within the family.” Still, his grand- default Catholic, because I wasn’t bap- my family saying that it is a big problem
but he married someone with her own fam- father and then his father remained close tized. My family was incredibly spiritual, because we don’t want to be like the
ily traditions, which seemed oddly similar. to the family. but we did not have a religion. Catholics, but we were nothing at all. We
“Once my grandfather married my He grew up in a Catholic culture, but “I have relatives who became Prot- weren’t even atheists.
grandmother, his family did not accept “I was not brought up Catholic,” he said. estants or spiritualists or practicing “I would ask a lot of questions. I’d ask,
‘Why do we have so many issues with created; they were among the original
the Catholic church? Why?’” But no settlers and landowners, and they had
answers were forthcoming. That just was a great deal of power and money, and
the way it was. the respect that goes along with it. “They
That’s all Jônatas knew until his family were deeply embedded in Brazil,” he
moved to Miami. “I started asking a lot said. “There are some organizations that
of questions,” he said. “I started asking are very much part of Brazil’s revolution-
about our roots, and that’s when I found ary past, like the Freemasons. My family
out that my great grandmother on my was very deep in Freemasonry.
mother’s side had roots in Germany.” “It’s very much like the found-
He became fascinated — perhaps it’s ing fathers of this country,” he said
fair to say obsessed — with researching parenthetically.
his family history. He learned many of Eventually, as seems to happen often
his family’s last names. They all were in large, wealthy families, the patriarch
Portuguese. Why would that be, if his — Jônatas’s great-grandfather — died,
family’s various roots were in Germany and many relationships and financial
CONGREGATION
SHAAREY ISRAEL
18 Montebello Road, Suffern, NY 10901
www.shaareyisraelrockland.com The Pardo family, shown in the late 1930; Jônatas’s paternal
great-grandmother is flanked by his grandmother and grand uncle.
Really? Yes, Jônatas said. “I believe there were at and executed. He was not alone. “There was a play-
least four sets of twins.” wright from Rio de Janeiro, Antonio Jose Da Silva,
That was not the only remarkable fact about who was caught as a Judaizer and burned to death,
his great-grandmother. Another was that “this and so were hundreds of members of his family,”
woman kept the most authentic fragments of Jônatas said. “Including babies. It didn’t matter
rabbinical 15th-century Judaism in the family, how high your status, the more money you had,
although I didn’t know that at first. No one did.” the easier you could get off the hook, but it didn’t
She came from the Teixeira de Mattos family. always work.
“She said that her family came from Germany. “He was an important playwright. The king of
Originally I thought that she had lost her mind. Portugal pleaded in his favor, but the Inquisition
How could someone with that name come from officers said to the king, ‘There is nothing that you
Germany?” But she was right. can do.’
As he researched, the darkness of the past “The Inquisition officially ended in Brazil in the
started to loom. 1830s. By that time they were no longer burning
In the 1600s, his family had become rich, people, but you could still be charged and be mar-
exporting “dry meats, spices, and unfortunately ginalized for not having purity of blood.
probably even human beings. I don’t doubt that “They were not asking for certificates of purity,
they were involved in the slave trade.” And then but if you came from a known crypto-Jewish back-
they owned land. “That’s how people made an ground — what they would call a New Christian
enormous amount of money. The New World was background — you could be denied certain jobs or
entirely open.” opportunities. That is why most of us relied on fam-
But his family also were victims of the Inquisi- ily businesses, not on jobs. It was not a choice.”
tion in Portugal, which unfolded differently than The more he delved into his family history,
it did in Spain. In Spain, people were given the the more bleak it seemed, the more terror and
choice of conversion or expulsion. In Portugal, death he discovered. “You only find your Jewish-
they had to convert. ness through the anti-Semites’ death sentences
Join Us for an Artist-in-Residence Weekend
Jônatas learned that an ancestor, Manuel Dias against your family,” he said. “It is hard to be a
March 9 to 11, 2018 when Temple Emeth
Da Silva, “had been arrested by the Inquisition as a happy crypto-Jew.”
Judaizer, a New Christian who was caught practic- He also discovered some of the customs common
in collaboration with Kulanu, presents
ing Judaism after the conversion.” He was arrested to crypto-Jewish families. “I came to find that there In the 1950s, four Dias da Silva children glare at the camera.
That wasn’t for him. rabbi, Ovadiah Yosef, had endorsed it, Jônatas finally was There is a bed in the middle of it, and there are five lamps.
“Once you go into so much depth, once you see able to be recognized formally as Jewish. Each one is a symbol of 100 years in the diaspora.
the names of the people in your families who died About a decade later, he reported, his parents did the His family has had 500 years of exile, death, dispersion
for being Jewish, I don’t see how you can just move same thing; “they officially returned to Judaism and then — and also success, love, and rebirth. It all shows up in the
on,” Jônatas said. “It wasn’t that long ago — a century they got remarried in a Jewish wedding.” And Jônatas got exhibit.
and a half — when you had people who had a clear married to “a French Jewish girl, and we live a normal main- “The tent is powerful,” Jônatas Chimen Dias DaSilva-
knowledge of their Jewish heritage. My father said that stream Jewish life in Miami. Benayon said.
his grandmother knew, and my mother said that her “We go to shul everywhere, to Ashkenazi, to Sephardi, and
great-grandmother knew very well. we also go to Temple Moses, where the language is Ladino.” Who: Artist Jônatas Chimen Dias DaSilva-Benayon
“I realized that I cannot just live the way I used to He also added Benayon to his already long name, as a What: Will present stories, artwork, and an experiential
live.” symbol of his return. installation, “In Thy Tent I Dwell,”
He could have married a Brazilian woman from a And he makes art from his experiences. Some of it is dark When: From Friday, March 9, through Sunday, March 11.
family of which his parents would approve, he said, and heavy, he said. It’s about wandering, feeling homeless,
Where: At Temple Emeth, 1666 Windsor Road, in Te-
but because he spent so many years in the United feeling unwanted, feeling rootless. It’s also about history,
aneck
States, that did not make sense for him either. and also about the joy of finding himself.
How much: Lunch on Saturday is $10, and brunch on
He set out to return to the Judaism that was in his “The Tent in Which I Dwell is made up of all the docu-
Sunday is $8. Everthing else is free.
blood and bones and heart and head, but his essential ments I had to show to the rabbinical court. And within
Jewishness was not as clear to the outside world. there is a quarantine room, a replica of the one my family More information: To learn what will happen, and when,
go to Emeth’s website, or call (201) 833-1322.
“I told my parents, ‘Look, I don’t see how we can stayed in when they went to Brazil from Spain. I recreated it.
move on like this,’” he recalled. “I said ‘We are part of
this people, of the people of Israel.’ My parents said
that they were too old for it, but that I should do it.”
Eventually, Jônatas met Jews — there is a story in
that too — and began going to shul. But he ran into
problems. Rabbis were willing in practice to accept
him as a Jew — his parents and their parents and their
parents, back through all their lines, were Jewish, he
knew, and his research could prove, so halachically
there was no issue. But the rabbis weren’t willing to
make it official. The documentation Jônatas could pro-
vide wasn’t straightforward enough. They demanded
that he convert, but Jônatas felt strongly that he was
Jewish. They would count him for a minyan, but they M A’ AYA N OT Y E S H I VA H I G H S C H O O L F O R G I R L S I N V I T E S T H E CO M M U N I T Y TO O U R
wouldn’t put it in writing.
“But I would say that my relatives died for being A N NUA L S C H O L A R S H I P D I N N E R
Jewish, so how can I convert? They would tell me that
M OT Z E I S H A B B AT, M A R C H 10 , 2 0 1 8 | 8 : 3 0 PM | CO N G R EG AT I O N KE T E R TO R A H
they appreciate my courage, but they’d say ‘I can’t do
anything for you.’” J O I N U S I N E X PR E S S I N G H A K A R AT H ATOV TO O U R H O N O R E E S
But Jônatas is a fierce researcher, and he knew what
he wanted. “I started reading rabbinical literature
about how to treat Jews who had left for generations
because of genocide or forced conversion,” he said.
Eventually — that’s a word that comes up often in
Jônatas’s story — “I came across a comment from a
Sephardi chief rabbi, Mordechai Eliyahu, who had
been approached on that subject by Shulamit Hal-
evi, an Israeli teacher. She had been approached by
descendants of crypto-Jews and she went to Chief
Rabbi Eliyahu to talk about it.
“She said, ‘What do I tell these people, who are M R. S AU L & M R S . D E E N A K A S ZOV I T Z R A B B I E L I E & D R. M I R I A M B E R M A N
K E T E R S H E M TOV AWA R D A M U D E I M A’ AYA N OT H O N O R E E S
indeed Jews, who have lived in this community for
hundreds of years, who only marry each other — what
do I tell them?’”
Rabbi Eliyahu’s answer included a quote from an
earlier rabbi, “that the issue should be treated with
kindness. They should be praised for coming to
observe the commandments of the Torah.
“What is the ritual to re-establish themselves into
the Jewish mainstream? They have to perform circum-
cision on a man” —and if they’ve been circumcised
already, as Jônatas had been a few years earlier, then
D R. N E E R & M R S . LY N N E V E N-H E N M S . S A M A N T H A KU R
the ritual called hatafat dam, where a drop of blood is PA R E N T S O F T H E Y E A R T E AC H E R O F T H E Y E A R
drawn — “the mikvah, and then they get a certificate,
saying that he or she has returned to his or her ances-
tors’ ways.
“It is sort of like a conversion, but it recognizes the
To make a pledge and reservation, please visit www.maayanot.org/annual-dinner
heritage of the crypto-Jew, and that makes a huge dif- or contact Pam Ennis, Director of Development, at 201-833-4307 ext. 265, [email protected]
ference. It is about being recognized as a Jew who has
returned to his Jewish ways. Someone who has been
lost, but is returning.” Ma’ayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls
Armed with this new evidence, along with the fact 1650 Palisade Avenue | Teaneck, New Jersey | 07666 | www.maayanot.org
that Rabbi Eliyahu’s predecessor as Sephardi chief
ALAN
Program Premier Speaker Event
Join us for an evening of laughter and
conversation with Alan Alda, seven-time
Emmy & Golden Globe award-winning actor,
ALDA
director, author, and science advocate, on the
art of improv, the role of empathy, and the
importance of communicating.
Visit jccotp.org/alda
INFO: Nina Bachrach, [email protected]
This event is
supported in part
by The Henry
Photo Credit: Alan Alda
and Marilyn Taub
Foundation.
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38 Jewish Standard FEBRUARY 23, 2018
Jewish World
SAVETHEDATE 22
dence, said he accepted the position at APRIL
the request of other Jews who needed collaborated with
protection from an anti-Semitic non-
Jewish kapo, a German criminal. the Germans,
The case of Jews who remained out- but that he
side camps or ghettos by helping the
Nazis hunt down other Jews appears listed them
even murkier. alongside Polish
Notorious among them was Stella
Kubler, who began hunting Jews for collaborators. GUESTS OF HONOR
the Nazis to keep her parents from MARK & SUSAN
being deported and stayed in their ser- them to be murdered. He was beaten to
12 WIESEN
TH
vice until the war’s end. She and other
Jewish hunters of Jews were given spe-
death at Auschwitz, where he came on
the last transport.
ANNUAL
cial papers and even weapons by the Last Tuesday, Polish Foreign Minister BREAKFAST
Gestapo. Some even received a cash Jacek Czaputowicz acknowledged in an RABBINICAL
bonus of 200 marks for every Jew they interview with a Polish newspaper, Dzi- SUPPORTER AWARD
helped deliver.
Some of them, including Rolf Isaa-
ennik Gazeta Prawna, that there were
Polish collaborators, adding that the sit-
RABBI MICHAEL
ksohn, delivered their own relatives to uation concerning collaboration “was SUNDAY
APRIL 22, 2018
& BASSIE TAUBES
the Nazis — an uncle, in Isaaksohn’s case, extremely complicated.” There were
according to a 1992 Der Spiegel expose cases, he added, where Jews caught 9:30 -11:30 AM
about Jewish hunters of Jews. by the Germans led the Nazis to Poles
Kubler was tried twice for her actions, who were hiding them. (According to CONGREGATION
VOLUNTEER
RECOGNITION AWARD
which resulted in the murders of dozens: one testimony, a woman in the village KETER TORAH
Once by a Soviet tribunal that sentenced of Chociszewo denounced her non-Jew- 600 ROEMER AVENUE MOSHE & DENA
her to 10 years in jail, and then by a West
German one, which convicted her but
ish husband to the Germans to pursue
her love affair with a Jew whom she had
TEANECK, NEW JERSEY KINDERLEHRER
did not sentence her to any additional hidden — and who later was killed by
prison time. She spoke with raw hate Russian troops.) TO MAKE A RESERVATION
about the Jewish people, and until her Although many Jewish collaborators OR TO DONATE: KEYNOTE SPEAKER
death in 1994 was a favorite among pub- were despised by Jews in Israel and WWW.PROJECTSARAH.ORG
973.777.7638
DR. JOYANNA SILBERG
lishers of anti-Semitic literature. beyond, comparing them to Polish col- THE HIDDEN DANGERS OF THE
Members of Judenrats, Jewish councils laborators “is morally and historically INTERNET TO VULNERABLE YOUTH
Senior Consultant for Child and Adolescent Trauma at Shepard
set up in ghettos that were answerable false also because of the complex spec- THERE IS NO COUVERT Pratt Healthy System in Baltimore MD, Executive Vice-President
to the Germans, constitute yet another trum of collaboration,” Porat said. This FOR THIS EVENT of the Leadership Council on Child Abuse & Interpersonal Violence
and author of “The Child Survivor”
variant of collaboration. complexity does not apply to Polish col- BABYSITTING AVAILABLE
(PRIOR RESERVATION REQUESTED)
Dozens of them committed suicide laborators, few of whom were threat- VALET PARKING
to avoid carrying out the Germans’ ened with death if they did not betray or
orders of annihilation against vulnera- turn in Jews.
ble ghetto populations, such as children “The indictment against all of those
and women, Dina Porat, chief historian
for the Yad Vashem Holocaust museum
collaborators may appear similar, but
the context in which they acted is radi-
PROJECT S.A.R.A.H.
in Israel, said. Others cooperated with cally different,” Porat said. Stop Abusive Relationships at Home
the Nazis out of fear that the ghetto JTA Wire Service
A profile of Washington, D.C., Jews: institutions,” said the survey’s lead author,
Janet Krasner Aronson. “One way to view
Most Democratic and mostly unaffiliated that is that the community offers a lot of
ways for people to participate without
membership. Another way is that the insti-
Ben Sales D.C.-area Jews that the Jewish Federation attend Jewish cultural events. tutions have not kept up with what people
of Greater Washington published this But a smaller-than-average percentage are looking for.”
Jews in and around the nation’s capital do week. Much of the metro D.C. Jewish com- of D.C.-area Jews belong to synagogue. Conducted by the Steinhardt Social
plenty of Jewish things. Many of them just munity travels to Israel and follows the And only a fraction say Judaism is a part of Research Institute and commissioned by
don’t do those things as members of Jew- news there, it found. Its members may their daily life. the Jewish Federation of Greater Washing-
ish institutions. take part in religious services and observe “There’s a lot more program partici- ton, the survey of more than 6,000 respon-
That’s one of the main takeaways from key Jewish cultural rituals more than the pation and synagogue attendance than dents took place from May to August of
a wide-ranging survey of Washington, national average. And its young people there is membership in synagogues and 2017. Aronson’s co-authors are Len Saxe,
Matthew Brookner, and Matthew Boxer.
Here are five of its biggest takeaways.
1. The Washington, D.C., area has nearly
CELEBRATES
bia and its Maryland and Virginia suburbs
— has seen its Jewish population grow 37
percent over 14 years. In 2003, the area
had 215,000 Jews. As of 2017, it has close
to 300,000.
That number makes it one of the six
largest Jewish communities in the coun-
try, around the same size as the Bay Area’s
(350,000, according to a new study) and
Chicagoland (also close to 300,000). The
Jewish communities in southeast Florida
ISRAEL
and Los Angeles both number about half
a million people, according to data in the
Bay Area study, while the New York City
metropolitan area is roughly three times
that size, at 1.5 million.
But D.C. can count on staying power.
AT Although D.C. might have a reputation as
a magnet for 20-somethings in short-term
government and research jobs, 60 percent
of Jews have lived in the area for more than
10 years, and only 22 percent of all Jews
there have any plans to leave.
(Local Jews were surprised to learn that
more Jews now are to be found in north-
ern Virginia, 41 percent, than in suburban
Maryland, 37 percent, or the District, 22
percent.)
2. D.C. Jews are more Democratic than
American Jews in general
Americans Jews have a longstanding
reputation for voting Democratic. Around
70 percent of Jews voted for President
The United States Capitol Zach Gibson/Getty Images THE GROSS CENTER FOR
voted for Clinton. In one area, the Jews in and around HOLOCAUST & GENOCIDE STUDIES
SPRING PROGRAM 2018
3. They’re especially religious — but D.C. stick out — Israel. Two-thirds have
don’t belong to synagogue visited the Jewish state, compared with
The paradox of the D.C. communal 43 percent of Jews nationally. A similarly
study, according to the researchers and higher number has gone on Birthright’s
Gil Preuss, the CEO of the local Jewish free 10-day trips to the country.
federation, is that while Jews in the area Beyond that, more than two-fifths of
observe rituals and go to Jewish pro- Jews in and around D.C. follow Israel
grams at relatively high rates, they’re news at least once a week. A slightly
also relatively unaffiliated with tradi- higher percentage of D.C.-area Jews
tional Jewish institutions. “very much” have an emotional connec-
D.C.-area Jews observe Jewish religious tion to Israel than the equivalent number
THURSDAY, MARCH 8, 1:20 P.M. TUESDAY, APRIL 17, 7:30 P.M.
rituals at higher rates than Jews nation- nationwide — 34 percent vs. 30 — though Babi Yar and the Holocaust in Ukraine Film Screening: The Other Side of Home
wide — though the numbers are not a slightly higher percentage in the D.C. Dr. Martin Dean, Historical Consultant at Babi (Q&A following the film)
always directly comparable. More than area also says it has no emotional con- Yar Holocaust Memorial Center Naré Mkrtchyan, Producer/Director
half of D.C.-area Jews attended High Holy nection — 14 percent vs. 10 nationally. Ramapo College, Robert A. Scott Student Center, Jointly Presented with the Armenian Students Association
Days services, and 20 percent attend a On the peace process, D.C. Jews lean Alumni Lounges (SC158) Ramapo College, Robert A. Scott Student Center,
service at least monthly, while the equiv- to the left. Two-thirds support a two- THURSDAY, MARCH 8, 7 P.M. Alumni Lounges (SC157-58)
alent numbers nationwide were about state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian Film Screening: 1945 (Hungary, 2017; WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18, 4-6 P.M.
35 and 20 percent, according to the Pew conflict, while only nine percent oppose Directed by Ferenc Török) The Vatican and the Holocaust
Research Center’s 2013 study of Ameri- the idea. Two-thirds also believe either Hungarian (with English subtitles) Professor Stanislao Pugliese,
can Jews. some (44 percent) or all Israeli West In Memoriam John Gunzler Hofstra University, New York
A third of D.C.-area Jews keep some Bank settlements should be dismantled.
Ramapo College, Trustees Pavilion (PAV3) Jointly Presented with the Italian Club of Ramapo College
MONDAY, MARCH 19, 1 P.M. Ramapo College, Trustees Pavilion PAV3)
kind of kosher, as opposed to 22 percent 5. Young people are intermarrying —
of American Jews who say they keep and also staying involved. Human Rights and the Rule of Law SUNDAY, APRIL 22, 10 A.M.
Reed Brody, Human Rights Lawyer, Counsel Coming to America: Victims of the Shoah
kosher in the home. More than 80 per- The intermarriage rate in the D.C. area
for Human Rights Watch, International Crimes and Émigrés From the Former Soviet Union
cent of D.C.-area Jews attend a Passover is about the same as it is nationwide — Prosecutor and Investigator: Consultant on and Middle East
seder, as opposed to 70 percent nation- 44 percent of all Jews are intermarried, International Crimes and Prosecutions Moderated by Dr. Michael Riff, Director of the
wide (and 50 percent in the Bay Area, including about 60 percent of younger Jointly presented with the Law and Society and Gross Center for Holocaust and Genocide Studies at
according to the new study). Jews. But 61 percent of intermarried cou- Social Work Programs of Ramapo College Ramapo College
But Jews in the D.C. area also affiliate ples in and around D.C. are raising their Ramapo College, Anisfield School of Business (ASB332) Jointly Presented with the Jewish Historical Society
at lower rates than American Jews over- children as Jews, as opposed to about a MONDAY, APRIL 9TH, 1 P.M. of North Jersey
all. Nearly 40 percent of D.C. Jews are third of intermarried couples nationally. From Chess Masters to Clydesdales— Temple Beth Sholom, 40-25 Fair Lawn Avenue,
unaffiliated, compared to 30 percent Young Jews in the area also are staying Holocaust Survivor David Friedmann’s Fair Lawn, N.J. 07410
nationally. Just 27 percent say Judaism is involved in Judaism. While the research- Art Journey TUESDAY, MAY 15, 9 A.M-3 P.M.
part of their daily lives. ers noted that these figures may be Miriam Friedman Morris, Pomona, New York Gumpert Teachers Workshop
Jointly Presented with the Hillel of Ramapo College Film in Teaching about the Holocaust and
Five percent of D.C.-area Jews are slightly high, the study reports that a
In Commemoration of Yom HaShoah Genocide
Orthodox, 21 percent Conservative, and majority have gone to at least one Jew-
(Holocaust Remembrance Day) In cooperation with and supported by the N.J. State
29 percent Reform. Nationally, those ish program this year. That includes a Ramapo College, Robert A. Scott Student Center Commission on Holocaust Education
numbers are 10 percent Orthodox, 18 per- whopping 41 percent who have attended (Alumni Lounges, SC157-58) Ramapo College, Trustees Pavilion
cent Conservative and 36 percent Reform. a program at Sixth and I, a historic syna-
While 31 percent of Jews nationally gogue and program center in the capital. For Information and to request disability-related accommodations
please contact: [email protected] or 201.684.7409
belong to a synagogue, the number is “We have the opportunity to present
slightly lower in the D.C. area, at 26 per- programming, to engage them, to really
cent. And within that number, a fifth connect them to each other and to Jew- All Programs Free and Open to the Public
belong to an independent prayer group ish life,” Preuss said. “Because they’re
or Chabad. A lower percentage of D.C. searching. They’ve already made the SALAMENO SCHOOL
Jews give their kids formal Jewish educa- statement that they care. The question OF HUMANITIES
tion than do Jews nationwide. now is how creative, how open are we, AND GLOBAL STUDIES
4. Most of them have been to Israel and what do we do?” JTA Wire Service 505 Ramapo Valley Rd · Mahwah, NJ
A
man Douglas High School are feeling now. Amendment to the Constitution, which reads, in
But the parents of the 20 children and six its entirety, “A well regulated Militia, being nec- caveat: Do not assume When do we stop dragging out
staff members killed at Sandy Hook in 2012 do. essary to the security of a free State, the right of you know how this col- the Constitution as an excuse for
And so do the parents of students killed at other, the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be umn will end from the allowing weapons designed for
smaller-scale school shootings, and of victims at infringed,” leads inexorably to the bloody slaugh- way it begins. the battlefield to be purchased
malls and movie theaters and nightclubs. ter of innocents. And really, what can we do? It’s That said, let us do the numbers: for the euphemistically called rec-
But I do know what it feels like to be the parent of in the Constitution! In the first 45 days of 2018, there reational use? Does anyone truly
a dead child and dear readers, I desperately hope But the demand that 18th century Americans were 30 mass shootings in the believe its Framers would have
that none of you ever has to know what I know. Ever. have the right to keep and bear arms in order United States (meaning incidents written the Second Amendment
Let me tell you just a little of what it feels like, to assure the health of a well regulated militia in which four or more people were as they did if they could have envi-
although of course words fail. It is black misery. It seems not to have much to do with the right of a shot). Of these, at least seven and sioned the above statistics? Does
is being at the bottom of an airless, lightless, slime- deranged 19-year-old to burst into his old school as many as 18 were “school shoot- anyone believe they would have
lined hole, where you feel that you never will be — from which he’d been expelled because he was ings,” depending done so if they could
able to breathe again, never will be able to see frightening, and because the school had no good on how you define have conceived of
again, never will be clean again, and you can’t way to deal with him, because we haven’t devoted “school shootings.” rapid-fire weapons,
imagine ever caring about any of those things again. many resources to figuring out how to handle lost, Of the seven cases or of high-capacity
It is a feeling of utter hopelessness, of complete damaged, dangerous people like this one — and everyone accepts, ammunition maga-
despair, of the certain knowledge that nothing kill anyone he saw. there were 20 zines, or of “bump
you’ve ever believed was true, that even the most The Bill of Rights was ratified in 1791, into a deaths (mostly chil- stocks,” which effec-
solid ground you’ve ever walked on was an illu- world without assault weapons. dren) and 33 injuries. tively turn semi-auto-
sion, and that hell, the black slime pit, was just It is safe to say that the Founding Fathers never This includes last matic rifles into fully
beneath it all along, waiting for you. imagined what their words would be twisted to Wednesday’s mass automatic ones?
And then that feeling sometimes turns into red- allow. shooting in Parkland, Shammai When do we stop
hot, blue-hot, melting rage. We as Jews are familiar with the idea of halacha Fla., in which the Engelmayer allowing our politi-
But my daughter, my beloved Shira, died by as coming from Torah laws, but as having been mentally disturbed cians to put the will
accident, at the hands of a careless driver on a changed and adapted, often almost beyond easy teenage shooter shot of the National Rifle
confusing traffic circle. No one wanted her dead. recognition, to fit the circumstances in which the off at least 150 rounds within six Association ahead of the welfare of
My husband and I know that we don’t feel what Jews who lived by them found themselves. To use minutes. America’s citizens of every age?
parents of children dead of disease or substance just an obvious example, the path from not cook- In 2016, the American Journal As for us Jews, when do we
abuse or suicide feel. Each of us has our own spe- ing a kid in its mother’s milk to the elaborate rules of Medicine provided some truly start acknowledging that Jewish
cial and specific and distinct hell. governing kashrut is circuitous, although the goal frightening statistics, based on a law, which puts life above almost
But the deaths of children slaughtered by some- — to fulfill God’s law by eating in a way that accepts study of mortality data from 23 everything else, requires us to
one who wanted them dead? And not even dead that everything we eat comes from somewhere, highly developed nations. Here be in the forefront of any move-
for themselves, because of who they were, but as and that we take the life we need to allow ours to is some of what the AJM reported. ment to keep military-style weap-
bit players in their killers’ own horrific psychodra- continue comes at a real cost, and must be done The United States accounted for ons and accessories out of civilian
mas? As real-life Rosencrantzes and Guildensterns? with respect and intent — is clear. • 82 percent of all firearm deaths; hands, and to prevent anyone who
It is unthinkable. The Constitution and Bill of Rights, similarly, • 90 percent of all firearm deaths is mentally ill, or is an abuser of
There is one advantage that those parents have, underlie all our laws, at least in theory, but with- among women; any kind — spousal, child, or oth-
however. They can take their rage and aim it. out the idea that there is some guiding divine will • 91 percent of all firearm deaths erwise — or who has a history of
There is a real target. They, like the extraordinary behind them. among children up to 14 years old; violence of all other kinds, from
student survivors whose outrage has encouraged To have allowed the Second Amendment to • 92 percent of all firearm deaths owning any kind of gun that has
us all, can work toward change. warp into being seen as the right to keep and bear among youths aged 15 to 24 years. the ability to kill?
They all can work to rid this country of the assault weapons seems to contradict the Declara- As high as these numbers are, they I know what some readers are
scourge of assault weapons. tion of Independence’s demand that each of us become more frightening when we saying about now: “There he goes
Yes, everyone says it can’t be done — but no, Americans is entitled to life, liberty, and the pur- take this statistic into consideration: again spewing his leftist bleeding
actually, it used to be that everyone said that it suit of happiness. The United States has only half the heart liberal hogwash because
can’t be done. There seems, finally, to be some Tell that to the bereaved parents, whose ability population of the other 22 high- he wants to take our guns away.
movement on the issue, although it easily could to pursue happiness ended when their children’s income nations combined. Everyone knows guns do not kill
stall out and certainly it is not worth the price right to life was ended.
those murdered students and teachers and their This is not what our Founding Fathers Shammai Engelmayer is rabbi of Temple Israel Community Center | Congrega-
families and friends have to pay for it. intended. —JP tion Heichal Yisrael in Cliffside Park and Temple Beth El of North Bergen.
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W
how many people a gun can kill order to protect their commu-
depends on the gun being used. nity’s religious institutions. They hen the Israeli police recommended American media and Congress from the important
A six-bullet revolver can kill six would be trained similarly to the an indictment of Prime Minister work his administration is doing. And Prime Minister
people within minutes before process used by the Community Binyamin Netanyahu for corrup- Netanyahu argued in an address to the nation that the
the shooter has to stop to reload. Security Service, or CSS, which tion, the prime minister imme- Israeli police recommendations to seek an indictment
Compare that to how many peo- has been providing general secu- diately responded to the public that “there will be against him “cast a dark shadow” and “have no place
ple an AR-15 can kill within one rity training to more than 4,000 nothing because there is nothing.” in a democratic state.”
t minute, given that it can fire 40 volunteers in Jewish communi- While a politician brushing off corruption charges Both leaders have claimed that law enforcement’s
r rounds every three seconds. ties throughout the United States, may not be so unordinary, many journalists pointed independent self-investigative power to investigate
r Do not misunderstand. I am including in our area. Given the to Netanyahu’s comments at a Likud convention in the alleged misdeeds of those in power abuses the
not advocating taking away all climate of racist hatred, includ- December. He said then that “there will be recom- democratic system’s ability to retain the confidence of
- guns. There are times when guns ing anti-Semitism, that seems to mendations, so what? Here’s a fact you probably don’t the electorate it represents. The argument is that an
y are needed for protection, and be getting only worse, turning know: over 60 percent of police recommendations are elected government requires the people’s faith in order
even Jewish law would permit to community-based armed vol- thrown out and never result in indictments.” to function, and that investigations into the legitimacy
t owning a gun for that purpose. unteers would seem to be both A comment like this goes further than ignoring of the government only erode that necessary public
- Jewish law requires us to pro- prudent and perhaps even hala- the noise of inquiries and brewing scandal. Here, trust. But an alternative perspective would argue that it
tect ourselves, and also to act chically sound. the prime minister challenged the integrity and is the very vulnerability of governing officials to inves-
to protect others. We are not to To my mind, this is safer the legitimacy of the police establishment and its tigation that ensures their accountability to the public,
stand idly by the blood of our fel- (at least in theory) than hir- investigative process. Before Donald Trump became thereby securing the foundations of the democratic
f lows (see Levitievs 19:16; also, for ing armed strangers whom we president of the United States, it was system. Knowing that the person occu-
, an extensive discussion of how do not know and have to take unusual for a chief executive to chal- pying the seat of power is just as much a
y this verse applies to protecting someone else’s word that they lenge the integrity of an arm of the gov- citizen under the law as everyone else is
- others, see the Babylonian Tal- are suitable. ernment under that executive’s own what democracy is about.
mud tractate Sanhedrin 73a). I have reviewed the plans for authority. President Trump has picked The people are sovereign, and the
- However, Jewish law also this proposed initiative. The out the FBI for special criticism, and government serves at its pleasure.
- would require a strict and effec- volunteers would be local com- the Justice Department leadership for The idea of the ruler being under the
y tive training regimen in the use munity members who know the sanctioning it, because he sees the Rus- law rather than above it, while elemen-
of such weapons, as well as bet- people and institutions they are sia investigation as a cancer that breeds tal to democracy, was a revolutionary
ter safety features, such as those signing up to protect. The CSS unwelcome scandal amid the business idea of the Hebrew Bible. In the book
- found on the “smart guns” on the model works because familiar- of government. Prime Minister Netan- Rabbi Dr. of Deuteronomy, the king is required to
market. This is based on the “law ity, passion for the communi- yahu seems to be following the same David J. Fine keep a copy of the Torah with him and
of the parapet” found in Deuter- ty’s safety, and routine contin- type of response to investigations: to to read it at all times, as his reign is only
f onomy 22:8. Rabbinic decisions ued training with experienced impugn the investigators. Or in sports as secure as his fidelity to God’s com-
make clear that this law is subject instructors help keep the volun- terms: the best defense is a good offense. mands. This religious edict for accountable leadership
to the broadest interpretation teers ready, informed, and inter- Trump’s and Netanyahu’s aggressiveness against is remembered every time a new president is sworn
possible. Thus, in BT Bava Kama ested. In this case, each would-be their own governments’ investigative services is ironic, in upon a Bible when taking the oath of office, an oath
t 15b we are told that this verse is volunteer would be given at least because both came to power in part thanks to the cor- that affirms fidelity to the Constitution.
the source for the rule “that no six months of weapons training ruption scandals faced by rival politicians. Donald In the second book of Samuel, when the prophet
- one should breed a bad dog in before being allowed by the State Trump ran a campaign against his Democratic oppo- Nathan accuses King David of murder, theft, adultery,
- his house, or keep a damaged of New Jersey to carry a gun. nent highlighted by his constant focus on her alleged and coveting, proclaiming: “You are that man!” the
ladder in his house.” I would want to see more than corruption, calling her “Crooked Hillary” and joining king responds humbly with the words: “I have sinned
Maimonides, the Rambam, that, however, before I could in rally chants of “Lock her up!” At the time he praised against the Lord.” David was no more secure in his
f prohibits owning anything “that support such a proposal. I would the actions of the then-director of the FBI for continu- legitimacy than the leaders of our time. He worked
- is inherently dangerous and want these volunteers also to ing to pursue the investigation into Secretary Clinton’s his way up from shepherd to king and afterward faced
f could, in normal circumstances, undergo a rigorous psychologi- use of a private email server — he later fired that direc- many rivals (including his own son). But he submit-
cause a person to die.” (See his cal workup, and a thorough tor, James Comey. Netanyahu, the Likud leader and ted to Nathan’s rebuke, affirming the principles of
Mishneh Torah, The Laws of background check to deter- a former prime minister who opposed the moderate royal accountability and the function of the prophet as
Murder and the Preservation of mine whether there is any hint course of his party leadership in joining with Labor “independent counsel.”
Life, Chapter 11:4.) of domestic abuse or violence, leaders to form the Kadima party, prevailed over his King David had his faults, and the Bible spares
Rabbi Samson Raphael or other issues that would pre- Kadima opponent, Tzipi Livni, in 2009, after the sitting no detail in its indictment. Yet David remains the
g Hirsch says the “parapet” even vent them from being eligible. I Kadima prime minister and former Likud politician model of Jewish leadership, not because of his faults
requires “local civil authorities also would want the synagogue’s Ehud Olmert resigned due to a corruption investiga- but because of his ability to humble himself before
. to intervene to have anything at rabbi to give each volunteer sev- tion. (He later served 16 1/2 months in prison.) rebuke when he could have easily dispensed with
all which might be dangerous eral hours of study in the laws of Neither Donald Trump nor Binyamin Netanyahu Nathan. The lessons of Deuteronomy and 2 Sam-
removed” from a person’s prem- self-defense, unintentional homi- seemed to have any problem with corruption investi- uel on the accountability or leadership are more
ises. (See his commentary on the cide, the sanctity of life, and any gations against their rivals. It is only when the investi- poignant today than ever. Rather than impugning
verse.) other relevant issues, and to then gations are targeted at them or their legitimacy while the integrity of investigations, good government
Is it so terrible, for example, sign a document certifying that they occupy the seat of power that they see a problem. needs to affirm those engaged in the difficult work
for a fingerprint verification the candidate is acceptable to be In the past week President Trump criticized the FBI of internal investigation as guarantors of legitimate
device to be added to a weapon an armed volunteer guard. for failing to prevent the tragic high school shooting leadership, as trustees of the public trust, and as
to prevent it from being used by Frankly, I also would prefer in Florida because it was too focused on investigating servants of truth.
someone other than its owner? that the weapons be visible at all Russian involvement in the election of 2016. And he
How many children would be times, but New Jersey does not responded to the indictment of 13 Russians by say- Dr. David J Fine is the rabbi of Temple Israel and Jewish
protected by that simple safety allow open carry. ing that the Russian government got what it wanted Community Center in Ridgewood and president of the
device—a device even police offi- I hate the whole idea, but I in sparking an investigation that has distracted the New Jersey Rabbinical Assembly.
cers have endorsed but the NRA would hate even more for syna-
opposes? gogues to be turned into shooting
The opinions expressed in this section are those of the authors, not necessarily those of the newspaper’s
That brings me to a controver- galleries the way some churches
editors, publishers, or other staffers. We welcome letters to the editor.
sial proposal making the rounds and schools have been.
locally that would seek to arm Send them to [email protected].
I
’m a rabbi. While I feel that my faith in God is or is it to build a safe, secure, nurturing themselves if and how they see God as part
strong, I don’t always know what to say about God sense of the world, one in which they can of their worlds. When God-talk is absent,
and life’s mysteries. begin to make Jewish life a core part of who the possibility of faith is largely closed off.
Like many of you, I’m also a parent. I want my they are? When we talk about God, we’re But when children speak of God, that possi-
boys — and all Jewish children — to have a full Jewish not ‘information providers.’ Rather, we’re bility exists. When a parent doesn’t believe
education. Judaism should speak to everyone’s head, ‘world builders,’ the people who are most in God, why must their child follow suit?
hands, and heart. responsible for the outlook on life our chil- For even if you don’t believe in God,
The head should know: The stories and laws of our dren will develop and carry with them for we the Jews believe in God. Think of the
Torah; how to read Hebrew; the history of the people a lifetime.” (60, 67) Shema: “Listen, Israel, the Lord is our God,
and State of Israel. God is real. To convey that to our chil- Rabbi Alex the Lord is one.” Think of the first of the
The hands should do: Mitzvot like lighting Chanukah dren, God must be part of our conversa- Freedman Ten Commandments: “I am the Lord your
candles and giving tzedakah; acts of chesed like feeding tions. If I hope my sons talk about God, God Who brought you out of Egypt.” Both
the hungry. I’ve got to bring it up first. Here’s an affirm that God is real. Both are corner-
And the heart should feel: Pride in being Jewish; a example: As I walked with my 4-year-old to shul on stones of Jewish education. Not just to be memorized or
strong connection to Israel; faith in God. Friday night, I told him that we go there to pray to God. understood, but believed. And that’s only possible when
So how should I and other parents talk to our kids Our prayers are our conversations with God, when God is part of children’s vocabulary. And that’s only pos-
about God if we’re not sure of all the answers? How we ask God for some things and thank God for other sible when we talk about God in a real way. (Like every
should parents who doubt God’s existence approach this things. I asked my son, “What do you want to ask from other subject, conversations about nuances and chal-
subject with their kids? God? For what do you say, ‘Thank you, God’?” My son lenges are appropriate and important, but only when
The weightiness of this challenge gives me pause. But answered me, “I thank God for all the sharks. And I the child is ready.)
the importance of this conversation pushes me forward. wish God made more sharks.” What would happen if the bulk of the Jewish people
I think about this sacred, timeless task now, as I’ve You see that my son’s world is colored by sharks. stopped believing in God or praying to God? Sadly,
just completed reading “Becoming a Jewish Parent” by They’re in his books, on his TV shows, on his shirts, on we would lose a core part of our identity and become
Daniel Gordis. Though he’s primarily known as a pro- his water bottle. He probably dreams about them too. frighteningly vulnerable. This Shabbat is called Shabbat
lific commentator on issues concerning Israel, he’s also And that’s fine because he’s 4. I’m thrilled by his com- Zachor — Remember — as we remember how our enemy
an American-born rabbi whose first books speak about ment because he’s speaking about God as a real part of Amalek nearly wiped us out after we departed from
Judaism writ large. his real world. A small part, but a real part. This is a start. Egypt. Do you recall the moment when the Israelites
Here is, in my eyes, the book’s best takeaway: Every parent can plant this seed, not just theologians. were suddenly so weak that the Amalekites pounced?
“God-talk is important. God-talk isn’t a matter of I know not every parent has faith in God, for differ- Exodus 17 tells us that Amalek came to battle immedi-
‘teaching’ our children anything in particular. Rather, ent, understandable reasons. I know that these parents ately after the Israelites fought with Moses and won-
God-talk is about making our children comfortable with are as ethical and loving as I hope my wife and I are. dered aloud, “Is God in our midst or not?” (Ex. 17:7).
the word ‘God’ as part of their regular vocabulary... Is But I think these parents too should make God part of The moment the Israelites lost faith in God, they nearly
our job at such moments to give our kids information, their children’s vocabularies and let them decide for lost everything.
T
hey could have been our kids. and make his parents happy.” We were at the end of L’taken, a wonder-
Alyssa Alhadeff was 15 years old, a freshman in Jaime Guttenberg, also was 14 and a ful, inspiring weekend in Washington spon-
high school. She loved to play soccer. She loved freshman. She loved to dance. She loved sored by the Religious Action Center of
to laugh. She had her bat mitzvah a couple of the color orange. Her father called her Reform Judaism. L’taken is the verb form
years ago on Masada. Last summer she attended Camp Cole- the “life of the party.” Her aunt called her of tikkun, as in tikkun olam, repairing the
man, the URJ summer camp in northern Georgia, the south- “intelligent” and “feisty.” She wanted to be world. The weekend was dedicated to the
ern equivalent of Camps Harlam, Eisner, or Crane Lake. a mom and an occupational therapist. Jewish principle that we have the responsi-
“She was one of those children who always had a smile on Meadow Pollack was 18 years old, a bility to do what we can to repair this bro-
her face, just full of love,” Rabbi Shuey Biston of Chabad of senior. She planned to attend Lynn Uni- ken world.
Parkland said. versity in the fall. On Monday she shared Rabbi Jordan This what our teens believe; this is what our
a photo on Facebook of herself with her Millstein teens did. Our Temple Sinai students lobbied
grandmother, Evelyn Silverberg Pollack. on three different issues. Evan Zlotnick, Billie
“Nothing makes me happier than my Singer and Neal Rodin chose to lobby on this
grandma and her smile,” she wrote. issue of gun violence prevention. During their presentation
The only difference They were four Jewish kids who attended a top public Neal told this story:
high school in an affluent suburb of a major city, just like Last year, we all had an extremely scary situation in which
between these kids and ours. The only difference between these kids and ours everyone in our school… believed we were all in grave dan-
ours is that a young is that a young man with an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle ger. Our school…was locked down because an unknown per-
showed up at their school last week and killed them. son who could’ve been dangerous for all anyone knew had
man with an AR-15 semi- In an instant their lives were cruelly snuffed out, along entered the building….I happened to be in my stats class
automatic rifle showed up with 14 others, including a young Jewish teacher, Scott Beigel. when we went into lockdown. When Tenafly High School
A society that fails to protect its children is a failed society. goes into lockdown, the students are generally elated to stop
at their school last week You know that. I know that. Our children know that. doing their work. But when the lockdown lasts awhile, peo-
and killed them. The difference between us and our children is that while ple start to get worried. This lockdown went on for a while.
so many of us have thrown up our hands in disgust and Students and faculty started to be concerned. My teacher,
despair, our children have not given up. in fact, said that if we heard gunshots, that she’d help us
Alex Schachter, 14, also was a freshman. He loved to play Just last Monday I sat in Congressman Pascrell’s office out the windows, because we were on the first floor, and
basketball. He played the trombone in the school march- with nine students from Temple Sinai of Bergen County we should run away like the wind…. People were messaging
ing band and won a state championship last year. “A sweet- who attend Tenafly High School. (Bill Pascrell, a Demo- each other frantically that there were police in the hallways,
heart of a kid,” his father said. “He just wanted to do well crat, represents New Jersey’ 9th District in Congress.) indicating that something was clearly amiss.
C
We read about Amalek before Purim, olumbine. Virginia Tech. Sandy Hook. poisoned our collective soul.
for Haman was a descendent of Amalek. Pulse Nightclub. Las Vegas. First Baptist American losses? The War Between the States
Megillat Esther, it has been widely noted, Church. Parkland. resulted in approximately 750,000 deaths,
is a book of the Bible that never mentions These words, these places, are now inflicted on us by ourselves. The War to End All
God. But is God entirely absent or merely seared into our collective American memory. They Wars — 120,000 deaths, compared to French
working behind the scenes? At first are the places where insanity has reigned, where casualties of 1.7 million people and English losses
glance it appears that God is nowhere to mass murders have been committed against inno- of about one million combatants and civilians.
be found. But on second thought, there cent civilians, many of whom have been children What about the next war, the one after the
sure are a lot of “coincidences” that in school. war that didn’t end all wars? In Russia, 27 mil-
arranged themselves just so. This is not normal, not in terms of history, nor Eric Weis lion dead, about 14 percent of its entire prewar
Like reading the Megillah, it’s pos- in terms of comparisons with other countries. A population. In London, 40,000 people perished
sible to navigate our world believing debate in America rages about mental health and in eight months of German bombing in 1940-41.
that God is absent. But the Jewish tradi- guns. And so I am about to spout heresy. It isn’t the guns. It isn’t Later in the war, German civilian losses from air raids were
tion teaches otherwise. It unabashedly the NRA. It isn’t politics. It isn’t about individual mental health. massive. Dresden is the most famous example, completely
teaches that God is here, God is near. No, the problem runs much deeper. reduced to ashes. And then came Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
As the prayer Adon Olam concludes, America is in love with firearms. Little kids have played 180,000 deaths in just two days.
“I place my spirit in God’s hand when I cowboys and Indians, cops and robbers, for how long? Who In comparison, America has made war with relative impu-
sleep and when I wake. And along with has not experienced a toy gun, a water pistol, a BB rifle, a nity. Civilian deaths, following the Civil War, have been nil.
my spirit, my body. God is with me; I paintball gun or even the real thing? Why are we so attached On 9/11, America finally had an immune reaction to 3,000
shall not be afraid.” to our weapons? The answer is cultural. It is the American deaths. We had been so insulated that this loss redefined
Jewish parents are Jewish educators. If psyche, which has been steeped in shooting, violence, and national consciousness and opened the door to a War on Ter-
we want to build a world in which God is war for more than 250 years. ror. More than $3 trillion has been spent on Middle East wars
a real presence, we’ve got to talk about The pioneers and colonists defended themselves against since the Twin Towers collapsed. Is it any coincidence that the
God and make God part of our kids’ “savages” and the Redcoats. Every patriot, every backwoods- frequency of civilian mass murders and school shootings has
vocabulary. It’s not easy, but it’s crucial. man, and every farmer had his musket. It was simply a matter increased in the same period?
Words build worlds. Indeed, that’s why of survival. This culture was written into our founding docu- The military industrial complex, about which the victor of
the Torah in Genesis says God spoke and ments. The most relevant one is the Second Amendment to the World War II warned, has come to pass. Dwight Eisenhower
the world came into being. God’s words U.S. Constitution, adopted on December 15, 1791. It reads: “A and William Tecumseh Sherman understood this evil all too
created our heads, hands, and heart. Our well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free well.
words open them up. state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be After Sherman’s march to the sea, a scorched-earth policy
infringed.” that broke the South’s will to fight, in 1880 he was famously
Alex Freedman is the associate rabbi at Every male citizen in the formative years of the Republic was quoted as saying, “Some of you young men think that war is
Temple Emanu-El in Closter. expected to participate in his state militia. The dreaded British all glamour and glory, but let me tell you, boys, it is all hell!”
were feared, especially after the fall of their French royal nem- But still we glorify our legions and so war-making becomes
esis in 1789. Keeping a couple of muskets and a uniform handy honorable. And so do weapons.
allowed a state to muster its defenders, when the Continental Meanwhile, more than 30,000 American civilians die each
Army did not exist. year from gun violence. But we don’t recognize that terror.
Following political independence, America continued to These mass murders largely go unfelt. Americans are accus-
enslave Africans. While other slave-trading nations reformed, tomed to using weapons. We simply are numb to this insidious
The lockdown eventually ended after we refused to give up the obscene practice until a continental evil. Even mass shootings in schools result in nothing new, just
a prolonged period of time and normal war tore us apart. An entire generation of violent gun-wielding thoughts and prayers.
schooling resumed. The entire experi- young men came out of the Civil War. They left their battlefields America is sick. Its fever is growing. The only answer is a
ence from beginning to end was terrify- behind and fled from the decimated south into the Wild West of communal nauseous rejection of this evil. Perhaps the 17 vic-
ing. No one should have to experience Billy the Kid, the James Gang, Buffalo Bill, Wyatt Earp, gunsling- tims in Parkland will be a tipping point. One can hope. We
something like this ever. Yet, because ers, and sharpshooters. All became American folk heroes. can remember the words of the prophet Isaiah, “And He shall
there have been so many mass shootings The Gatling gun was invented by an American in 1861. At the judge between the nations, and shall decide for many peo-
and school shootings, we live in a climate same time, and well into the late 19th century, ethnic cleans- ples; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and
of fear. All of this is because of the easy ing of an entire continent followed. Colt, Remington, and Win- their spears into pruning-hooks; nation shall not lift up sword
access people have to guns. chester became household names. Kids played with toy six against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.”
Evan, Billie, Neal — indeed all our kids — shooters. I still have an antique Colt 45 toy revolver that uses
live with this anxiety every day. And they caps, just little rolls of gunpowder that allowed kids to imagine Eric Weis of Wayne, past president of the New Jersey region of the
are taking action. The specific bill they lob- using the real thing. Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs, is the treasurer of Mercaz USA,
bied for is called the Background Check Gun culture, the Civil War, the Wild West, a continental geno- the Zionist branch of the Conservative movement. He worked
Completion Act, H.R. 3464. It will close a cide, these are all of the things that defined America into the for Senators Eugene McCarthy and Edmund Muskie, has held
loophole in the background check system. 20th century. Couple all of that with the fact that America has positions in the U.S. National Oceanic Atmospheric and Oceanic
Would this law have prevented what hap- never suffered war losses on home soil comparable to other Administration, and later was involved in the nuclear industry
pened in Parkland? Maybe not. But it might parts of the world. This is a toxic combination, which has for more than four decades.
save another group of teenagers one day.
We need to follow our kids’ lead. After
all, as Evan, Billie, and Neal told the aide
to Congressman Pascrell, it says in the Tal-
mud, “He who takes one life — it is as though
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he has destroyed the universe; and he who
saves one life — it is as though he has saved
the universe.”
How can we do any less?
S
question of why a Holocaust memorial is needed here, is such a continuous drumbeat of anti-Trump stories, true
ince taking office, Presi- since there is already one in New York, the Museum of Jew- ones, half-true ones and outright lies, that the president
dent Donald Trump has ish Heritage. The question was a good one, but it is incom- may eventually be forced to resign.
made good on his campaign plete. In addition to that museum, there are local Holo- Our immigration system is an incredible mess and
promise to boost immigra- caust memorials, monuments, and educational programs urgently in need of reform. But here are some num-
tion law enforcement and compli- in the area’s Jewish schools, synagogues, and JCCs, and bers, among others, Ms. Dermon overlooked. President
ance efforts. The most recent exam- also in Teaneck High School. Holocaust courses are part Obama deported over 2,500,000 illegal immigrants,
ple of this was the coordinated raid of the curriculum in other New Jersey high schools and the more than all of his predecessors from 1892 to 2000
on 7-Eleven stores around the nation. Holocaust Museum in Washington is easily accessible. By combined. And this country accepts more immigrants
On January 10, Immigration and Cus- ignoring these other sources, Mr. Fox avoided answering than any other on earth.
toms Enforcement (“ICE”) officials Michael J. the question regarding the unnecessary duplication that Some of the president’s actions toward women are
stormed approximately a hundred Wildes the Teaneck memorial will be. despicable and inexcusable. Some of his predecessors
7-Eleven stores around the country, In addition to the money being raised to construct also committed acts we consider unacceptable today,
resulting in the arrest of more than it, which will come largely from the Jewish community, and there is no excuse for any of them.
20 people. where will the funds to maintain it over the years come Other assertions by Ms. Dermon are equally unsupport-
These searches were carried out to inspect information col- from? Will that be yet another financial obligation on the able by facts, but what I find particularly offensive is the
lected on the Form I-9. Since November 6, 1986, all employers area’s Jewish community? claim that the president has a great deal in common with
must have a Form I-9 filed for each of their employees, regard- The partnering of the Holocaust and Enslaved Africans Mussolini and Hitler. President Trump was legally elected,
less of the employee’s citizenship. The Form I-9 is a two-page Memorials is a coupling of two different historical events. and I hope that emotionally based degrading comments
document issued by United States Citizenship and Immigration Though both are among the many examples of man’s cru- will eventually be replaced with rational thought.
Services to document a new hire’s identity and work authoriza- elty to man, only the Holocaust was intended to be geno- Dr. Norbert Ripp, Teaneck
tion in the United States. Even businesses that are in compliance cide. The enslavement of Africans was not.
with all other United States Immigration Laws might have some The Town Council’s proposed location of the memo- More praise for Trump
deficiencies or discrepancies in their Form I-9s. rials is unfortunate. The likelihood is that they will ruin It is unfortunate that much of what used to be polite dis-
Franchises like 7-Eleven are not the only businesses at risk. the beauty of Teaneck’s municipal green by being obsta- course within our nation, has lowered to the point where
Other managers and business owners should heed the warning cles to its wide, unobstructed views, spoiling its tranquil- those who are anti-Trump will sink to any level to deni-
evidenced by the coordinated and highly publicized sweep that ity, and possibly resulting in the removal of some of its grate actions that either he took or those expressing posi-
President Trump put into action last month. There are many majestic trees. Ahrona Ohring, Teaneck tive views concerning anything he does or did. In this
ways for both an employer — and an employee — to protect instance I am referring to the letter, “No thanks for Mr.
themselves in the event that ICE decides to serve a Notice of And then they came for my children Trump” by Sandy Dermon (February 16). Via the content
Inspection on your workplace. First they came for San Ysidro, Eamond, Stockton, of her letter, I feel that she is a member of the left-wing
First, employers should make sure that that they have a valid Jacksonville, Killeen, Iowa City, Olivehurst, San Fran- crowd that finds fault with much of what President Trump
Form I-9 filed for each of their employees, both past and pres- cisco, Garden City, Jonesboro, Columbine, Atlanta, does, even if it means that one must distort and twist facts
ent. Internal audits are best carried out by a neutral third-party, Fort Worth, Honolulu, Wakefield, Meridian, Red Lake, to fit one’s biases or prejudices.
a task that my law firm has undertaken many times. Mistakes on Goleta and Nickel Mines, and I did not speak out. Without this seemingly anti-President Trump paranoia,
the Form I-9, even honest mistakes (like writing your birth date on Because I was not anti-gun. I don’t think she would have written, “Trump’s interfer-
the wrong line) can have consequences, ranging from civil fines to Then they came for Salt Lake City, Blacksburg, ence in American politics has added yet another burden
imprisonment or fraud charges. Employers could also use E-Verify Omaha, DeKalb, Binghamton, Fort Hood, Huntsville, to any chance for a peaceful resolution to the Middle East
to confirm that their employee has a valid work authorization. Manchester, Tucson, Seal Beach, Oakland, Aurora, Oak crises.” “Trump’s interference”? He, despite the fact that
Second, employers should be trained in the proper completion Creek, Minneapolis, Brookfield, Newton, Santa Monica she appears to despise it, IS the President of the United
of the Form I-9 and should delegate oversight of the filing of these and Washington, D.C., and I did not speak out. Because States. It is his obligation, as President, to “interfere” with
forms to a few select people in order to streamline the process. I was not political. and take part in actions concerning our government both
Having a centralized managerial process will enable you to comply Then they returned to Fort Hood, and came for Isla domestic and foreign.
with ICE inspections without undue stress or organizational woes. Vista, Charleston, Chattanooga, Roseburg, Colorado It seems that the trigger for her diatribe was the urg-
Finally, all businesses should have a plan of action known to Springs, San Bernardino, Orlando, Burlington, Fort Lau- ing of Frisch students to write letters to President Trump
the entire workforce that addresses how to respond to a visit by derdale, Orange County, and Parkland, and I did not speak thanking him for verbally declaring that the government
ICE agents. Compliance with ICE and our nation’s immigration out. Because I was not a liberal. of the U.S. recognizes Jerusalem as the capital of the
laws is key, but that does not mean you have to let ICE agents Then they came for your children, and mine — and it State of Israel.
into the private areas of your workplace without a valid search was too late. Amy Soukas, Wyckoff According to her, “Hebrew day schools have no business
warrant. Clearly marking nonpublic areas with an “employees participating in political action…”, especially an action she
only” sign will help ensure that ICE agents do not overstep their Praise for Trump disagrees with. These students should “not be encouraged
authority or otherwise disrupt your regular business activities. I want to address these remarks in response to Sandra to participate in political issues, especially divisive ones.”
These three simple tasks are the first step to protecting both Dermon’s letter, “No thanks for Mr. Trump” (February 16). What nonsense! How does she define political issues? Can
the employer and his or her employees from any potential con- She objects to the Frisch school’s support of the president she point to any that cannot be considered divisive? Is
flict with ICE. on his declaring Jerusalem the capital of Israel, and that Israel a political issue? According to what she wrote, does
With the surprise 7-Eleven inspections as a lesson, it is Frisch has “no business participating in political action, she object to the participation of any Jewish day school in
imperative that all business owners devote the necessary time especially one that would support a president who has the Salute to Israel Day Parade?
and resources to ensure that they are in compliance with our trampled on every institution in America.” It is true that Students must be made aware of the issues and what
nation’s immigration and employment laws. After all, President religious institutions should refrain from stating their polit- is going on around them. Their information should come
Trump, a longtime critic of chain migration, has shown us that ical preferences; nevertheless this happens, and we mostly from a wide variety of sources. They should be able to dis-
he is not afraid to scrutinize our very favorite chain stores. object to it when the views expressed are not ours. But the cuss the many sides of each issue. If they are able to do
•We appreciate Raquel Wildes’ assistance on this article. claim that President Trump “has trampled on every insti- this, they may be able to resist being led blindly down an
tution in America” is no more than sour grapes by those ideologically fueled path.
Michael J. Wildes of Englewood, a former federal prosecutor in who refuse to accept the outcome of the last election. Her juxtaposition of Trump with Mussolini and Hitler
Brooklyn, is the managing partner of Wildes and Weinberg, P.C. He The president’s supposed assault on the free press is a is nothing short of obscene but fully understood with her
is an adjunct professor at the Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law more complicated issue than indicated. By far the greatest political leanings. She is not alone. It is unfortunate that so
in New York and is a former mayor of Englewood. Email him at percentage of the media is violently, if not pathologically, many in and out of our community are so blind.
[email protected] or go to www.wildeslaw.com. opposed to President Trump. The president does not get Howard J. Cohn, New Milford
T
Tamid. Mark continues by suggesting that the of us is commanded to not only see this as
he Ner Tamid of the Bible refers to the continu- light of the Ner Tamid is a metaphor for the a responsibility of “Bnei Yisrael”, the com-
ous fire which symbolized God’s Presence in the light of God within each of us. Just as the Ner munity as a whole, but also, as a personal
portable Tabernacle, and later the First and Sec- Tamid required oil that was separated from obligation. Sforno, the great Italian Jewish
ond Temples in Jerusalem. Since the destruction the pulp of the olive, we each need to sepa- scholar of the 15th century, confirms this
of the Temple in 70 C.E., it has been a custom that a Ner rate out the spirit of God within us from the last challenge, in his commentary on the
Tamid, an Eternal Light, shines in the sanctuary of every pulp that clogs our spiritual veins and arteries Rabbi Neal word “atah” with which our parsha opens.
synagogue. Both the continuing fire that burned in the sanc- preventing the free flow of God’s spirit within Borovitz He notes that this is one of only three places
tuary in Biblical times and the synagogue lamp, which car- us. Mark then asks the question of his readers: Rabbi Emeritus in the Torah narrative on the building of the
Temple Avodat
ries its name today are the symbol of God’s Presence. “What schmutz do you have clogging up your Shalom, River sanctuary where Moses is commanded to do
In looking back upon the many divrei Torah I have writ- spiritual arteries?” Edge, Reform this mitzvah himself, rather than merely del-
ten on this parsha, I found that the most recurring theme As I think about seeking an answer to my egate its fulfillment to others.
for me has been my understanding that the Ner Tamid, brother’s question I am becoming aware that Sforno’s commentary from half a millen-
the Eternal Light, is not only an affirmation of the Pres- the Ner Tamid, which I have always look at as a symbol of nium ago, and my brother’s message after thirty years of
ence of God, but also a confirmation of the presence of a our responsibility to open our communities to the transcen- using Torah as a lamp to light the path to recovery from
Jewish community. If there are not Jews tending to the Ner dent light of God, is also a call to search for the Ner Tamid, addiction for himself and thousands of other Jews, teach me
Tamid, the light will go out. In biblical days someone had the light of God, that is imminent in myself and in every that you and I are Tetzaveh, commanded to not only keep
to bring the oil. In modern times, where electric light bulbs other human being. the Ner Tamid burning by continually recreating Jewish
have replaced olive oil, someone still has to change the The greatness of Torah is that it speaks to each of us as community, but that each of us is personally commanded to
bulb and someone or some community has to pay the elec- individuals to search for the light of God’s Presence, within find the Divine light within us and to use it both as a mirror
tric bill. For me, the emphasis in the opening verse of our myself, while simultaneously commanding we as a commu- to see the beauty of our individual souls, and as a beacon, to
Torah portion has been that “Bnei Yisrael,” referring to we nity to keep the light of God’s Presence burning brightly in brighten the world beyond.
the Jewish people, have a responsibility to promise God our midst. The Ner Tamid is a source of both illumination In a time when our world and our nation are darkened by
that “we will keep the light on for You,” in the words of Tom and enlightenment. Torah is not only a covenant between clouds of social and political upheaval, attempting to eclipse
Bodett’s old Motel 6 commercial. the people and God, but simultaneously a contract between the light of the Divine, when on this Shabbat Zachor we are
Two years ago, Jewish Lights published a book of short every individual, every “me” and God. reminded of the foreboding presence of Haman-like Amale-
divrei Torah by my brother, Rabbi Mark Borovitz, “Find- The challenge for 21st century Judaism is to teach that kites threatening our very existence, the command to light
ing Recovery and Yourself in Torah.” Mark gives the reader there is a powerful truth in the fact that the parsha begins the Ner Tamid here in Parshat Tetzaveh reminds me that as
seven short divrei Torah on each of the 54 weekly parshiot. with “atah,” the singular form of the second person pro- powerless as we often feel to make a difference in our world,
In one of his short drashot on Tetzaveh, my brother quotes noun. “Atah titzvaveh” — you, each of us, is commanded we actually can if we just keep the Light of God shining
the opening verse of our parsha (27:20), and focuses on the to use the Ner Tamid, the light of God’s Presence, as both through, not only for ourselves but for future generations.
My sixth sense
A
ccording to Alexa and many What is that smell? I was standing in
others, there are five senses front of a housewares store. Nothing
— seeing, hearing, touching, smells in there. What could it be? And
smelling, and tasting. Some then, before I knew it, I was standing in
people say they have a “sixth sense.” front of a store called the Bread Boutique
They can tell when something is about and Cafe. That is where the smell was
to happen, they can sense changes in the coming from. It was then that I realized
atmospheric pressure — whatever it is, it what my sixth sense is. I can sense highly
is added to the list of senses. fattening foods from wherever it is that I
Last week, when I was walking around am standing. A foot away, a block a way,
Tenafly, I discovered what my sixth a mile a way — if there is something deli-
sense is. cious and fattening, I am your woman.
I was minding my own That is my gift.
business, using my sense I looked in the window
of sight to look at the differ- and saw that it was, indeed,
ent stores (but not spend- kosher. (Thank good-
ing any money, because ness; otherwise, I would
husband #1’s sixth sense is have had to have put my
frugality…not that there is Groucho Marx disguise on
anything wrong with that). before going in.) I had died
I hadn’t been to this area in and gone to bakery heaven.
a while, so actually there There were babkas with
was a lot of window shop- Banji nutella and white choco-
ping to get done. Ganchrow late in them. Nutella AND
I was using my sense of white chocolate! (Because
hearing to eavesdrop on just one of those two fill-
the conversations around me (nothing ings isn’t delicious enough.) There
Across Down very interesting, except that George’s were chocolate croissants that, literally,
1. Wheelchair-accessible routes 1. Isaac’s replacement reflux is acting up again and they are at melted in my mouth. And carrot cake,
6. Funny actor Simon 2. Fire truck item their wit’s end with the doctor not call- meringues, fresh bread, cookies, donuts,
10. Fine things? 3. Dom’s “Silent Movie” director ing them back. And some woman with a bourekas — COME ON!!!
14. Skating jumps 4. “Not guilty,” e.g.
I asked who the owner was and out
15. It makes Ari into a girl 5. Common Purim costume
16. Sans ice 6. Pan of note came a beautiful and skinny (of course)
17. Free-for-all 7. He died when he heard of the Ark’s Israeli woman, who informed me that
18. Bleacher feature
19. “Good heavens!”
capture
8. High spirits I can sense this little piece of deliciousness had
been open for almost four months. Who
20. City in northern Israel
22. Make like the end of Shabbat
9. Shmutz
10. “I’ll take that as ___” highly fattening knew? “We also have items that are cho-
24. Aviv preceder
25. Guys
11. Common Purim costume
12. Not Tahor
foods from lov Yisrael. Do you know what that is?”
Do I know what that is? I have one kid
28. Screech, e.g.
30. One who celebrates Anzac Day and
13. Fashion
21. Seminary subj.
wherever it who wears only black and white and
observes Tisha B’Av in the winter 23. Be a nagger is that I am another who might never come home
from Shaalavim in Israel. Of course I
32. Chef Lagasse
34. Frenemy of Archie
25. “Steppenwolf” author
26. Drain standing. A foot know what cholov Yisrael is! (I actually
36. Hound’s trail
37. Formally surrender
27. Common Purim costumes
29. What many do on Purim...or another away, a block a don’t really know, but I can only assume
it is an extra special kosher thing…)
38. Brings to a close
41. Tefillin part
title for this puzzle
31. Sonora snooze
way, a mile They have vegan items and gluten free
42. Book before Jeremiah: Abbr.
43. “___ bad moon rising” (CCR lyric)
33. Lion, for one
35. ___ HaChareidis (Congregation of
a way. items and salads to go. They have amaz-
ing smelling La Columbe coffee. (I don’t
44. Observer God-Fearers) drink coffee, but it smelled incredible.)
45. Huge simcha 37. “Shalom!”, to Mario lot of plastic surgery cannot find a pair But let’s go back to those chocolate crois-
46. Had a home-cooked meal 39. Believer of jeans to fit her chubby daughter…ahh, sants. Turns out that Tali, the owner,
47. “Yo, buddy!” 40. Less mashuga
memories). honed her baking skills in school in
49. “Rebel Without ___ ___” 43. Common Purim costume
50. Abraham of “Teen Mom” 45. How kids are taught to learn Shema I was using my sense of touch to not Israel, and now she is sharing them with
52. TV marine Gomer 48. Be a yente touch any door handles just in case the us. Well, with me, because I am think-
54. One part of an NFL game 49. Completely flu bacteria was lurking on the surface. ing of those skinny chicks in Tenafly who
55. What one might do for shalom bayit 50. Marshmallow item I had my gloves on, so if I needed to get only smell the baked goods, not actually
56. Sabbath seat 51. It leads to a chupah
into a store, I was protected. (And the eat them.
58. Auto pioneer 53. Composer Green
60. Letter letters 57. Chaim ___ (birth name of Gene Purell in my bag was a good standby, But who am I to judge? After all, my
62. Is sick Simmons) just in case there was skin-to-surface sixth sense enables me to buy mom
64. Rival of Paris, in literature 59. Hurting contact.) jeans in Chicos, where I will always be
68. Mess up 61. Reyes has the most for a Met: Abbr. I was using my sense of taste to think a size 2….
69. Waze suggestions (Abbr.) 63. Exo. follower
about what my feeble attempt at a D i d I m e n t i o n t h e c h o c o l ate
70. Comet’s path 65. Degree for Jared Kushner
71. Own (up to) 66. ___ Od Milvado healthy lunch of salmon and vegetables croissants?
72. Deer name 67. NBA game extras was going to taste like, as opposed to the
73. Wealth mushroom and onion pizza that I would Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck usually
really like to be having for lunch. doesn’t discuss local businesses, but she
And then there was my sense of smell. is still recovering from the yumminess.
Something smelled really good. Like but- Hope their hamantaschen will be better
The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 55. ter and sugar and chocolate and heaven. than mine!
Monday
Barbara Allen FEBRUARY 26
Shabbat in Closter: JFNNJ in the
Temple Beth El’s spiritual community: The Fair
Shabbat services, led Lawn chapter of Hadassah
by Rabbi David Widzer, meets at the Fair Lawn
feature harpist Barbara Jewish Center/CBI, 1 p.m.
Allen, accompanied At last year’s JCCP/CBT Laurie Siegel, director of
by pianist James carnival. community programs and
Rensink, 7:30 p.m. 221 services at the Jewish
Schraalenburgh Road, Purim in Paramus: Federation of Northern At last year’s JCCOTP carnival.
Closter. (201) 768-5112 or The JCC of Paramus/ New Jersey, is the
www.tbenv.org. Congregation Beth speaker. Refreshments.
Tikvah joins with
Shabbat and Purim Congregation Beth
10-10 Norma Ave.
FEB. The Rubach Family Purim Carnival is at
(201) 873-2476.
the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in Tenafly
25
in Teaneck: Temple Tefillah for a carnival
Emeth’s Purim shpiel has with a bouncy castle,
Tuesday from 1 to 4 p.m. Children are encouraged
a James Bond theme, games, lunch, snacks,
after Shabbat services, cotton candy, and FEBRUARY 27
to wear costumes. The carnival includes a
8 p.m. 1666 Windsor prizes, noon-2 p.m. bounce house, slides, inflatable photo booth, games,
Road. (201) 833-1322. Costumes encouraged. Rigged presidential prizes, life-size cartoon characters, face painting,
E. 304 Midland Ave. elections: Dumont prizes, cotton candy, snacks, a DJ, Israeli dancing, a
Saturday (201) 262-7691 or www.
jccparamus.org.
historian Dick Burnon
concludes a two-part Purim puppet show/sing-along at 1:30 and 2:30, and
FEBRUARY 24 lecture, “Four Rigged more. Children with special needs and their families are
Children’s author
Shabbat in Emerson: event: Four local Presidential Elections,” welcome from noon to 1 for games and booths, Purim
at a meeting of REAP
Congregation B’nai children’s authors —
(Retired Executives crafts, and other activities for an hour of fun before the
Ariel Bernstein, Andria
Israel offers an engaging
Warmflash Rosenbaum,
and Professionals) at carnival opens to the public. Seventh- through twelfth-
one-hour Shabbat
morning service , Mike Malbrough, and
the Kaplen JCC on the
Palisades in Tenafly,
graders can receive community service hours for
10:30 a.m., followed by Chana Stiefel — will
10:45 a.m., with “2000 volunteering. 411 E. Clinton Ave. (201) 408-1485. Check
read and sign their
a Torah discussion over
picture books at the
George W. Bush vs. Al local listings for other Purim carnivals and celebrations
lunch. 53 Palisade Ave. Gore and 2016 Donald
(201) 265-2272 or www. Teaneck Public Library,
Trump-Hillary Clinton.
this week and our special Purim section, pages 27 to 31.
bisrael.com. 1-4 p.m. Crafts, games,
411 East Clinton Ave.
and giveaways, as well
(201) 569-7900 or www.
as books for sale. 840 survivors, provided with B. (201) 858-2020 or both with Rabbi Steven
Sunday Teaneck Road.
jccotp.org.
generous funding from [email protected]. Sirbu, and Yiddish,
FEBRUARY 25 the Claims Conference, Mondays at 10:30 a.m.;
Concert in Teaneck: meets at Congregation Jewish university in 1666 Windsor Road.
The annual Curtis Hereld Beth Sholom, Teaneck: In Temple (201) 833-1322 or www.
Purim in Teaneck:
Memorial Concert “Berlin 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Emeth’s “Mini University Emeth.org.
Temple Emeth hosts a
and Beyond – German Kosher lunch and musical of Jewish Studies,”
carnival, with games
Jewish Composers,” is Cantor Ellen Tilem
and prizes, 10 a.m.-noon.
Costumes encouraged.
at Congregation Beth
performance by the
Rishon Trio. 354 Maitland will teach “Rituals and wednesday
1666 Windsor Road.
Sholom. Featuring Dr. Ave. Shari Brodsky, Reasons in Jewish Life,” FEBRUARY 28
Marsha Bryan Edelman, Rishon Trio (201) 837-9090, ext. 237, 7:30 p.m.; Art Lerman
(201) 833-1322.
musicologist and or [email protected]. teaches “The Talmud on Networking in Fair
Purim in Teaneck: The conductor; Cantors David Café Europa in Teaneck: Leadership” at 8:40, both Lawn: The Jewish
Jewish Center of Teaneck Perper and Ronit Wolff Café Europa, a social Jewish history in classes through March Business Network meets
has a community carnival Hanan; Shirah Jewish program sponsored Bayonne: Rabbi Cathy 20. Ongoing programs for breakfast at the Ives
with games, inflatables, Community Chorus, part by the Jewish Family Felix leads “Jewish include Torah study, Architecture offices,
snacks, prizes, a raffle, of the Thurnauer School & Children’s Services History in 5 Easy Steps” Saturdays at 9 a.m., and 8:30 a.m. 14-25 Plaza
dancing, and surprises, of Music at the Kaplen of Northern New at Temple Beth Am, also Lunch and Learn, Road, Suite S-3-5. www.
10 a.m.-noon. 70 Sterling JCC on the Palisades; and Jersey for Holocaust 1:30 p.m. 111 Avenue Wednesdays at noon, jbusinessnetwork.net.
inspired by the passuk from Exodus 6:6: ‘I including a social adult day care for peo- Yifat Yechezkell; Stephanie Cohn and Jil-
will free you from being slaves to them, and ple with Alzheimer’s disease and demen- lian Somberg; Lorin Cook, Kiera Flynn,
I will redeem you with an outstretched arm tia, extensive programming for active Susan Marenoff-Zausner, and Alyzia
and with mighty acts of judgment,’” she said. retirees,; door-to-door transportation in Sands; Robin Epstein; Stacy Esser, Jamie
Ms. Urman has curated many exhibitions, “Freedom-Tribal Response” by wheelchair-accessible vehicles, hearty Corsair, Lori Danziger, and Alisa Messer;
including five at the Belskie as art chair for Fred Spinowitz breakfasts and hot kosher lunches, pro- Marcia’s Attic; Merle Fish; Mindy Lavin
Partnership2gether, a program of the Jew- grams for the arts, lectures and concerts, and Iris Wormser; Dalia Lerner and
ish Federation of Northern New Jersey, from Ms. Urman and Mr. Spinowitz also are discussions on current affairs, exercise, Michelle Marom; Gabrielle Marcus and
2010 to 2015. the founders of an artists’ group called Art sing-alongs and dancing, birthday and Lindsay Skulnik; Eileen Pleva; and Elle
Co-curator Fred Spinowitz of Riverdale, League Defending Israel, which produces holiday celebrations, and intergenera- Rubach and JoJo Rubach.
N.Y., was named an artist in residence by art shows and an online art gallery of work tional programs with nursery school The presenting sponsor is Palisade
Partnership2gether, and he has worked with themes relating to Judaism and Israel. children. Jewelers, which also will also donate a
with Ms. Urman to produce the other Bel- For more information, call (201) 768-0286 The morning will begin with a light portion of sales made by Lavish Lunches
skie shows. Ms. Urman, Mr. Spinowitz, and or go to www.belskiemuseum.com. breakfast at the home of Michele and attendees before March 8 to support the
other participating artists will give talks Daniel Ross and will feature a culinary senior adult programs at JCC.
throughout the show. presentation by Michael Ferraro, the The event committee includes co-
renowned chef/restaurateur of two chairs Lorin Cook and Brandi Rubin,
trendy NYC eateries — Delicatessen and with Shirley Altman, Michel Blum, Orly
macbar. After graduating from the Culi- Chen, Stephanie Cohn, Alissa Epstein,
Magic in Englewood nary Institute of America at 20, Mr. Fer-
raro trained with several chefs, then
Merle Fish, Kiera Flynn, Jenna Gutmann,
Michelle Marom, Jackie Pollack, Michele
Direct from Broadway, Adam Trent, the breakout star of joined NYC’s famed Four Seasons Hotel Ross, Beth Rubach, Jennifer Schiffman,
the world’s best-selling magic show, “The Illusionists,” at its fine-dining restaurant, Fifty Seven Jillian Somberg, and Francie Steiner.
brings his magic and illusion to a 90-minute spectacle Fifty Seven. He was sous chef at the Bilt- For more information or to make
at the Bergen Performing Arts Center in Englewood more Room, executive chef at Fresh, reservations, go to jccotp.org/lav-
on Saturday, March 3, at 8 p.m. Tickets are available at took over the kitchen at SoHo’s Delica- ishlunches, call Michal Kleiman at (201)
www.ticketmaster.com, at www.bergenpac.org, or by tessen, and opened a sister restaurant, 408-1412, or email her at mkleiman@
calling bergenPAC’s box office at (201) 227-1030. macbar, which is dedicated solely to jccotp.org.
Adam Trent
Seen by many Jews as a mere historical footnote, Sabba- that few visitors dare trespass. Lika stays outside as he
tai Zevi nonetheless is “a symbol for some Montenegrins shows a journalist a window looking inside the small sep- texts whose erratic behavior fit the symptoms of a bipo-
and Albanians of their distinct identity as well as an inter- ulcher, which has a dark and carpeted interior. lar personality disorder — was a significant figure. By the
faith and intercultural bridge to the West and Judaism,” In Jewish history, Sabbatai Zevi — a savant in Jewish time of his conversion in 1666, he had developed a huge
following across Europe. It split established communities
like the one in Amsterdam, dividing rabbis and families in
a heated fight for the future of Judaism. Some credit the
spiritual upheaval over the Sabbateans with the develop-
ment of the fervently mystical chasidic movement in the
18th century.
Sabbatai Zevi’s legacy has had a long-lasting effect on
the region as a whole, including on the Dönmeh of Tur-
key — a society of crypto-Jews who for centuries presented
themselves as Muslims but continued to consider them-
selves Jewish, with Sabbatai as their prophet. Today, only a
handful of families that describe themselves as descended
from Dönmeh exist in Turkey, and they still are the subject
of much distrust and many conspiracy theories.
Sabbatai Zevi died in 1676 in Ulcinj, where he had been
exiled by the rulers of the Ottoman Empire for continu-
ing to practice some elements of Judaism after his forced
conversion. This interfaith identity in recent decades has
become increasingly appealing to liberal Muslims in the
region, according to Papo. In 2015, Papo chaired an inter-
national conference about Sabbatai Zevi in Ulcinj. (It was
the first time in the city’s modern history that it hosted a
conference on Judaism, although the nearby city of Budva
annually hosts the Euro-Asian Jewish Congress’ Mahar
conference of Balkan Jewish communities.)
Baba Mondi, the spiritual leader of the Bektashi sect,
calls Sabbatai Zevi a “dervish” — a Farsi word for a deeply
spiritual Muslim (and in some rare cases Jew) who devotes
his life to serving Allah.
Jusuf Lika stands in front of the music school he runs in Ulcinj, Montenegro, on November 8, 2017. CNAAN LIPHSHIZ SEE UNDERSTANDING PAGE 56
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