Back to back Communication

Directions:

1- Split the whole group into teams of two

2- Have each pair adjust their chairs and sit back to back
3- Issue a copy of the diagram in the figure below to one of each pair of participants
4- The person holding the diagram is tasked to explain the shape to his/her partner and the listener
must not see the diagram and should draw it based on his partner’s description and directions
5- After 10 minutes call the activity to a stop and ask each pair to compare the outcome and how
close is the listener’s drawing to the original diagram
Paper Shapes

Directions:

1- Hand-out one A4 size paper to each participant

2- Tell participants that we will play a quick game to prove a couple of facts about communication
and that you will be giving them a series of instructions about what to do with their paper and that
you will be doing the same instructions with yours simultaneously.
3- Ask everyone to hold their paper and close their eyes
4- Give the following instructions, pausing after each instructions to give everyone a chance to catch
up
5- “Fold your sheet of paper in half”
6- “Tear off the upper left hand corner”
7- “Fold it in half once more and tear off the upper right hand corner of the sheet”
8- “Fold it in half again and tear off the lower left hand corner of the sheet of paper”
9- Ask participants to now open their eyes and inspect what they came up with.

Body Language

Instructions and set up :

1. Explain to the group that you are going to give them a series of instructions, which you would like
them to copy as fast as they can
2. State the following actions as YOU do them:

• Put your hand to your nose

• Clap your hands
• Stand up
• Touch your shoulder
• Sit down
• Stamp your foot
• Cross your arms
• Put your hand to your mouth – BUT WHILE SAYING THIS PUT YOUR HAND TO
YOUR NOSE

3. Observe the number of group members who copy what you did rather than what you said.

Training Game Communication 1:'Catching the chicken'.

1. Ask for four volunteers from the group.

2. While three of the volunteers step out of the room, ask the rest of the group to
sit in a circle.

3. Ask the remaining volunteer to step into the circle and ask her to imitate the
action of catching a chicken in a barn.

4. Remember this is a communication game or a training game to understand non-

verbal communication.

5. Hence the volunteer has to use only actions to do this and neither she nor the
rest of the participants can speak through the training game. They are not to reveal
the training game that is going in any way to the volunteers coming into the room.

6. You will also tell them that the volunteers will come into the room and help her
in her task of 'catching the chicken'.

7. Now step out of the room and send the other volunteers into the room at
intervals of around one minute. When you send them in ask each of them to join
their colleague in whatever they find her doing and help her out. 8. You'll see some
hilarious scenes in the room.

9. After all three volunteers have come into the room and the training game has
continued for another minute or so, have the participants stop this communication
game or training game.

10. Beginning with the last volunteer ask her what she thought she was doing.
She'll say something like 'cleaning the room', while the second last volunteer will
say she was 'looking for a lost object'. The very first volunteer who walked into the
room will say something like 'I was swatting a fly I think'.

11. By this time the room is echoing with laughter at the responses.

12. Finally ask the the first volunteer what she was doing. When she reveals that
she was 'catching the chicken', all the participants are in a split.
13. When they have settled down a little, lead them in a debrief of this training
game. In the debrief draw their attention to how it is normal for people to interpret
the behaviour (non-verbal communication) of a person and respond to it rather
than clarifying the communication.

14. Remind them that while the people inside were told not to speak or reveal in
any way the training game that was going on, the volunteers outside were not
restricted in any way. Yet they chose not to ask anybody about what was going on,
rather they jumped in right away and started imitating the leader.

15. This behaviour is true especially when the person who is communicating is a
leader.

Let's now look at the second communication game or training game.

Communication Game 2: 'Non-verbal introduction'.

In this training game the participants are sitting in a circle. This training game is
about introductions, remember? So it is usually played in the beginning of a
training. It does not matter how familiar or unfamiliar the participants are with each
other, this communication game or training game is an interesting way of
introducing each other.

The participants are made to pair up with the person sitting next to them. They are
then asked to introduce themselves to each other and give their partner some
information about themselves that they believe is interesting/uncommon/unknown.

After everybody has done that, they are asked to introduce their partner to the
group. There is a catch however. The participant cannot use words or props to
introduce her partner. She can use only actions to do so.

Listening Game: The most influential experience

1. Divide the group of people in two by counting off into twos. The group should
have even-numbered people. If the group is odd-numbered, then ask the last
person whose number is 'one' to be the observer. Take all the 'ones' outside the
room. (This listening game will work well when you have a co-facilitator.)

2. The co-facilitator steps out of the room with the 'ones', while you stay in the
room with the 'twos'

3. Instructions to the 'ones': "Take a few moments and reflect on an incident which
had a dramatic influence in your life. It should fit into the category of 'life
changing'.
"After a while you'll go back to the room. There you'll find your colleagues sitting in
different parts of the room with an empty chair in front of them. You can take the
empty chair before anybody you choose.

"Once you are seated begin to tell that person the 'one most influential event' in
your life. After you have finished, your partner will summarise what you told her."

4. Room arrangement with the 'twos' during this listening game: Get the twos to
spread out in the room (not huddle around one area of theroom) and sit on a chair.
Other than their own chair they should have an empty chair facing them. Have the
'twos' sit on one of the pair of chairs.

5. Instructions for the 'twos':"After a while the ones will come into the room and
each one will occupy one of the empty chairs. So that means each one of you will
have one colleague sitting infront of you.

"They will begin to tell you about an experience that they have had in their lives.
Your task is to ignore them as unobtrusivley as possible. Your body language will
involve sitting back, not meeting their eyes, twiddling with something in your hand
like pen or a pencil and possibly doodling.

"You'll continue this 'non-listening' behaviour until the trainer gives you a signal like
knocking on the table with a marker. (Set a signal with the 'twos' that is mutually
agreeable to you and them. It should be something audible above the din as well as
unobtrusive.)

" As soon as you hear the sound transform your body language to one of listening.
Lean forward, meet the speaker's eyes, stop twiddling and doodling. Once your
partner has finished relating her piece, summarise to her what you heard."

Now play this listening game exactly as per your instructions above. You'll find that
when the 'ones' walk in there is a momentary hesitation in choosing a partner. Then
they briskly walk up and sit down infront of one person.

Some behaviours that you will notice in this listening game.

Some of them start to speak immediately, inspite of the fact their partners are not
listening. Out of these some will stop talking on noticing that they are not being
heard, while others will plough on. The ones who stop speaking, you'll notice will
either look offended or will try and attract the attention of the listeners.

Some of them will just sit down and wait for the listeners to look up and start
listening.

There's also a certain tension you'll sense because of the non-listening behaviour.
The listeners you'll find are squirming in their seats because they have to keep
themselves from listening to their partners. They can partially hear the speakers
 relating 'life changing' experiences, their voices heavy with emotion and they are
not expected to listen.

As the listening game reaches this point and you give the prearranged signal,
there's a marked change in the emotional content of the room. There's interaction,
good listening behaviour from the listeners and almost a relieved continuation of
the conversation by the speakers.

Some other behaviours you will notice in the room during this listening game:
Anger among some of the speakers, so much so that they refuse to speak.
Disinterest among the speakers, who are now completing the activity very
mechanically. Sometimes there are instances of weeping as the speakers are very
hurt by the listeners' behaviour. Consequently the listeners are trying their best to
gain control of the situation once again.

Debrief of Listening game:

Before you begin the debrief ask the listeners and speakers to sit in a row facing
each other, the listeners in one row and the speakers in the other.

1. First ask the listeners to repond to the following questions:

How do you feel? What are you learning?

2. You'll hear about all the behaviour and feelings that you noticed while the game
was in progress.

3. While the speakers want to share too, try and contain them till it's their turn to
respond to the debrief questions.

4. Once again you will hear about the observations that you made earlier.

5. You'll also sense amazement and hear sheepish laughter at the discoveries they
have made about themselves.

6. They will express learnings like :

 'I realise that I have done this with quite a few people and when it happened to
me I did not like it at all. I have decided that I will never ignore people again.'
 'I felt lousy not being able to listen to my partner especially when she was
sharing something so important.'

7. Some of the other learnings that you need to gently bring home to them

 It is not everytime people have something earthshattering to share. Yet whatever

they do want to share is important to them and so worth listening to.
 It is also insensitive for speakers to go ahead and share whatever they want to
even if the listener is not paying attention to them. It would be more fruitful if
speakers listen to the body language of the listeners and deal with that first,
sensitively of course. They need to take time to find out what's keeping the
listener from listening.
 Not listening (either to the verbal message or the non-verbal message) is the
malaise that has affected society. This malaise has resulted in competing
relationships rather than in collaborative synergistic relationships.