The Magicians Hat

The Magician’s Hat
Inez Cortes – 28 July 2011
He’d had a bad run, not just for a day either, or for a week – months, maybe even years had gone by, he
felt, that luck had not turned his way. Today, for example, he’d forgotten his umbrella at home: and,
naturally, it was now raining in sheets. As if it wasn’t enough that he was out of a job, that his girlfriend
had left him, that his pants were lately growing too tight round the middle, and –
“Hey! Watch it!”
No apology from the stranger who had slammed into him. Figured. He thrust his hands into his pockets
and would have moved off, but the stranger stopped him and thrust a pointed hat, the sort that wizards
wear in stagey costumes, into his hands. “Wear it, and make your dreams come true!” the stranger
cackled in an eerily high-pitched voice, before moving off at a high speed.
Well, whatever. A hat was a hat, no matter how strange the way it ended up with him; at the very least
he’d be a little drier. He jammed the hat onto his head and immediately began to feel better. Perhaps
his luck was beginning to turn.
The hat refused to come off. He tried to prise it off, to slide it off with oil, to stretch out the sides of it –
everything he could think of. Nothing worked. Disgruntled, he went to sleep still wearing the hat, hoping
it would slowly come loose as he slept.
And he dreamed…
He had gone to a casino, with nothing more than a handful of cash stuffed in his pyjamas pockets, but
he was just raking it in. It seemed he could do no wrong. Over and over he won, and beautiful women
were hanging onto his arms, cooing at him.
He woke up in a cloud of perfume, the hat having come loose slightly. He shook his head groggily. There
were hard round things in his pockets: poker chips. He found himself giggling giddily. It had worked, the
hat had worked! “Woke up too early though,” he grumbled, even as he cracked a small grin.
He tugged the hat back onto his head and made sure it was firmly in place, and went back to sleep.
Now he was walking down an empty road, and all of a sudden a good-looking woman driving a gorgeous
car pulled up beside him. She opened the door for him, gave him the keys, and he drove and he drove
and he drove. Sometime during the dream the woman disappeared, and it was just him and that sweet
car purring under his hands. He suddenly felt the need to relieve himself, so he parked the car under a
convenient tree and got off in search of a toilet.
He woke up at the door to his bathroom. I have to remember where I parked that car, he thought to
himself, and chuckled.
The hat was still on his head, and he clambered back into bed.
This time he was walking down the driveway to his ex-girlfriend’s house. The key was under the
geranium pot, where it always was. He opened the door, climbed up the stairs, heard rhythmic noises.
She was screwing someone, he thought, grinning like a loon when the noises stopped. He pushed his
way into her room. She was alone on the bed, looking delightfully rumpled, just the way he always
fantasized about her, with that just-fucked daze in her eyes. He climbed onto the bed, kissed her deeply,
and cheerfully throttled her as her screams slid down his throat.
He awoke to the pounding on his bedroom door.
“Police! Open up!”
The door crashed inwards and several officers surrounded him. Their voiced blended together with a
dreamlike quality, words and phrases floating up out of the haze: You… under arrest… theft… red Saab
convertible… rape-slay… Lisa Harris… ex-girlfriend…
He laughed. “Woo,” he said, “some guilt feelings these are… dream in a dream… crazy… I’m going back
to bed.”
The officers stepped closer, and he felt a stab of irritation. “Seriously, this is my dream… don’t like you in
it… so go away---“
He ripped the hat off his head, feeling smug that he had regained control, and waited for the unfinished
dream-figments to disappear. And waited, chuckling to himself.
And stopped.
For he had just noticed, on the inside rim of the hat, a small label:
Made in China.
-30-

The Magicians Hat

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

The Magicians Hat

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

The Magicians Hat

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

The Magician’s Hat

Inez Cortes – 28 July 2011

“Hey! Watch it!”

He awoke to the pounding on his bedroom door.

“Police! Open up!”

You might also like