Executive Producer: Aziz Ansari

Executive Producer: Alan Yang

Executive Producer: Michael Schur
Executive Producer: David Miner
Executive Producer: Dave Becky

“Parents”

(#102)

Written By
Aziz Ansari & Alan Yang

© 2015 Universal Television LLC

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NOT TO BE DUPLICATED WITHOUT PERMISSION.
This material is the property of Universal Television LLC and is intended solely for use by its personnel. The
sale, copying, reproduction or exploitation of this material, in any form is prohibited. Distribution or disclosure of this
material to unauthorized persons is also prohibited.
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 1.
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1 INT. CASTING OFFICE - AUDITION ROOM - DAY 1

Dev finishes his audition.

DEV
Madam President, Joint Chiefs of Staff,
Prime Minister Cho, it’s truly an honor
to be here in the Oval Office, though I
wish it were under better circumstances.
I just came back from a meeting with the
world’s top scientists. They’re all dead.
The virus, it got them all. I was able to
obtain a sample, but it’s not in the
vial. It’s... it’s in my blood.

CASTING DIRECTOR
(very flat)
Dr. Vincent, if it’s in your blood. Then
that means. The virus. My god.

DEV
Yes, the sickening... has begun.

The casting people look at each other, impressed.

CASTING DIRECTOR
Wow. Very, very powerful stuff, Dev. That
pause you took after “the sickening” was
phenomenal!

ASSISTANT CASTING DIRECTOR

Amazing pause. One of the best pauses
we’ve heard all day.

CASTING DIRECTOR
Thank you so much for coming in.

DEV
Thank you...
(pauses intentionally and
dramatically)
...for your time.

The room gives him a nice laugh. Dev laughs with them.

2 INT. CASTING OFFICE - HALLWAY - LATER 2

The casting director walks Dev out. The room is full of other
actors auditioning for Dr. Vincent.

CASTING DIRECTOR
That was great. Now our director is
flying in next week.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 2.
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2 CONTINUED: 2
CASTING DIRECTOR (CONT'D)
I definitely want to bring you in for a
session with him. My office will be in
touch.

DEV
Thanks, sounds great. Any word on who the
leads of the film might be?

CASTING DIRECTOR
(quietly)
Between us, they’re close on Colin Salmon
and Kerry Washington. And it looks like
we’re going with 50 Cent as the evil
senator who looks the other way.

DEV
Wait, so is this a... like... black virus
movie?

CASTING DIRECTOR
Yes. That’s exactly what it is.

3 INT. RAMESH’S HOUSE - DAY 3

Dev’s dad, RAMESH, looks at his iPad and paces back and
forth.

DEV
So yeah, I got a callback for the virus
movie, could be cool --

RAMESH
(not really listening)
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

DEV
What? What’s wrong?

RAMESH
(pointing to his iPad)
I just realized my calendar isn’t
updating. My friend, Dr. Ramusami, is
visiting and I forgot to pick him up at
the train station.

DEV
Uh oh, that’s cold. Guy came all the way
from India, seems like you should have
picked him up.

RAMESH
I have all my appointments in the
calendar. And the day before, a little
“ding” comes up.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 3.
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3 CONTINUED: 3
RAMESH (CONT'D)
Ding!” And then I plan my day. I listen
to the dings and see what I have to do.
There wasn’t a ding!

DEV
You got a new iPad. You didn’t transfer
anything over.

RAMESH
Why don’t the dings automatically
transfer?

DEV
“Dings” is not a term. You gotta stop
saying “dings.” The appointments don’t
transfer automatically. You have to
transfer them.

RAMESH
I’ve been calling you to set it up. You
never call me back! Now Dr. Ramusami is
probably wandering around Penn Station
eating pretzels.

DEV
Ok, you don’t know that he’s eating
pretzels. Also that’s an adorable worst
case scenario for being lost alone in New
York.

RAMESH
I have to go get him. Can you fix the
iPad for me?

Dev hurriedly starts leaving.

DEV
Eh, can I do it later? I’m going to go
see X-Men and I don’t want to miss the
trailers.

Close in on Ramesh’s face...

DEV (V.O.)
I gotta go. I’m not your personal
computer guy.

FLASHBACK: RAMESH’S LIFE

4 EXT. MARKET - INDIA, 1950’S - DAY 4

Young Ramesh walks around a market, full of joy, playing with
his abacus and making funny noises.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 4.
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4 CONTINUED: 4

(NOTE: These noises should match the funny noises present-day

Ramesh makes when he plays with his iPad in the final scene.)
A bigger kid, a husky INDIAN BULLY, approaches.

Note: all dialogue in India is in Tamil and subtitled.

INDIAN BULLY
What is that?

CHILD RAMESH
It’s my abacus!

INDIAN BULLY
Give it to me.

He snatches it.

INDIAN BULLY (CONT’D)

I think it’s broken.

CHILD RAMESH
No, it works fine.

INDIAN BULLY
No... It’s definitely broken.

The bully SLAMS it on the ground.

INDIAN BULLY (CONT’D)

Let me try and fix it.

He steps on it and breaks it. The bully laughs and walks

away. Ramesh is sad.

CHILD RAMESH
Awww, man.

5 INT. RAMESH’S INDIAN HOUSE - 1970’S - DAY 5

TEENAGE RAMESH talks to his DAD.

TEENAGE RAMESH
Dad, I want to study in medical college
and become a doctor.

RAMESH’S DAD
Ramesh, we don’t have money for that.
Work in the factory for a few years. Then
we’ll see about all of that.

6 EXT. AIRPORT - U.S., 1980’S - DAY 6

STOCK FOOTAGE: Ramesh’s plane lands in America.
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 5.
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7 INT. CLINIC - U.S., 1980 - DAY 7

An AMERICAN DOCTOR, not friendly, gives YOUNG ADULT RAMESH a

tour.

AMERICAN DOCTOR
That’s the basic go-round of the
facility.
(speaking way too slowly and
clearly)
So - do - you - understand - every -
thing?

RAMESH
Yeah. So someone said when the new doctor
comes to town you usually take the family
to the steakhouse. Is that tonight?
Should I go pick up my wife?

The doctor glances at an older doctor, who shakes his head.

AMERICAN DOCTOR
Oh... no. There... is no dinner. You can
just go to the cafeteria and eat.

8 INT. CAFETERIA - U.S., 1980 - NIGHT 8

Young Adult Ramesh and Young Adult Fatima have dinner. Very
few people are there.

9 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - U.S., 1980’S - DAY 9

1980’s. Baby Dev is born.

10 INT. RAMESH’S HOUSE - U.S., 1990’S - DAY 10

1990’s. Ramesh walks in with CHILD DEV. He’s covering Dev’s

eyes with his hands. He takes his hands away.

RAMESH
Your eyes are closed?

CHILD DEV
Yes.

RAMESH
Okay, now open them!

CHILD DEV
A computer!

Dev runs up and starts playing with a boxy, 90’s Apple

computer.
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 6.
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10 CONTINUED: 10

CHILD DEV (CONT’D)

Whoah, thanks Dad!

Ramesh looks at Dev’s eyes which are beaming and so happy. We

match cut to present day.

END FLASHBACK.

11 INT. RAMESH’S HOUSE - PRESENT DAY 11

Match cut to present-day Dev’s face.

DEV
Can I just do it later? I’m going to go
see X-Men and I don’t want to miss the
trailers. I gotta go, I’m not your
personal computer guy.

RAMESH
(disappointed)
Okay.

Dev sends a text to Brian: “Headed over.” Ramesh watches Dev

leave.

12 INT. PETER’S APARTMENT - DAY 12

BRIAN sees Dev’s text. He is talking with his dad PETER (60s,
quiet, serious).

BRIAN
Okay, I think I’m gonna head out soon,
Dad.

PETER
Did you read the Economist article I e-
mailed you?

BRIAN
No, I didn’t get a chance to do that yet.

PETER
It exposes how farm subsidies are slowly
leading us to a country-wide drought
within ten years.

BRIAN
Sounds uplifting! So, I should go. It was
good seeing you.

PETER
Before you go, can you run and pick me up
a package of rice from the store
downstairs?
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 7.
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12 CONTINUED: 12

BRIAN
Sorry, I can’t. I’m meeting Dev to see a
movie, and I love answering those movie
trivia questions they put up before the
show. So I think I’m just going to head
out.

Brian exits. Off Peter’s face...

FLASHBACK: PETER’S LIFE

13 EXT. PETER’S CHILDHOOD HOUSE - TAIWAN, 1950’S - DAY 13

The house is tiny. It is one room with a dirt floor -- more

of a hut than a house. CHILD PETER (age 10) is outside,
playing with a chicken. He’s having fun -- he loves it like a
pet.

14 INT. PETER’S CHILDHOOD HOUSE - TAIWAN, 1950’S - DAY 14

Peter enters. Peter’s parents and two brothers work in the

kitchen area. Peter’s dad calls after Peter.

NOTE: All dialogue in Taiwan is in Mandarin and subtitled.

PETER’S DAD
Toku. Go get some rice.

Child Peter walks off obediently.

15 INT. PETER’S CHILDHOOD HOUSE - TAIWAN, 1950’S - LATER 15

Child Peter gives the rice to his dad.

PETER’S DAD
We want some meat at tonight’s dinner. Go
get the chicken.

16 EXT. PETER’S CHILDHOOD HOUSE - TAIWAN, 1950’S - LATER 16

Child Peter walks up to the chicken, sad. Tears well up in
Peter’s eyes as he holds the chicken down on the ground and
cuts its head off. [Note: this happens off-screen.]

17 INT. PETER’S CHILDHOOD HOUSE - TAIWAN, 1950’S - DAY 17

Dinner time. CLOSE ON: the chicken, now cooked and sitting in
the middle of the table. Child Peter looks sad as he looks at
the plate of chicken with rice.

FLASHBACK MONTAGE:
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 8.
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18 INT. PETER’S CHILDHOOD HOUSE - TAIWAN, 1970’S - DAY 18

YOUNG ADULT PETER, now in his twenties, and his wife speak
with his parents.

PETER’S DAD
(subtitled Mandarin)
If you go to America, you won’t know
anyone, you won’t have anything.

YOUNG ADULT PETER

(subtitled Mandarin)
I will have opportunity there. I will
have a chance at a better life.

19 EXT. AIRPORT - U.S., 1980’S - DAY 19

STOCK FOOTAGE: Peter’s plane lands in America.

20 INT. DINER - U.S., 1980’S - DAY 20

Young Adult Peter and his wife are in America. They’re at a

diner trying to get seated.

HOST
Sorry, we just don’t have any tables.

They scan the room and see dozen of empty tables.

PETER
(to his wife, subtitled
Mandarin)
I think they don’t want to seat us
because we’re Asian.

The host stares back at them, unmoved.

21 INT. PETER’S CHINESE RESTAURANT - U.S., 1980’S - DAY 21

Young Adult Peter and his wife are running a successful
Chinese restaurant. Young Adult Peter stands by the door
greeting customers.

YOUNG ADULT PETER

Thank you for coming.

Young Adult Peter and his wife stand arm in arm, beaming at
the bustling restaurant in front of them.

YOUNG ADULT PETER (CONT’D)

Business is good. Very good.
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 9.
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22 INT. DIFFERENT HOSPITAL ROOM - U.S., 1984 - DAY 22

US, 1984. Young Adult Peter is holding his infant son, Brian.
He and his wife are overjoyed. He raises baby Brian into the
air.

PETER
(subtitled Mandarin)
All our sacrifice is worth it. He will
have a better life. Here, he will be able
to do anything he wants.

Zoom into baby Brian’s eyes...

END FLASHBACK MONTAGE.

23 INT. PETER’S APARTMENT - PRESENT DAY 23

Pull out from adult Brian’s eyes...

BRIAN
Sorry, I can’t. I’m meeting Dev to see a
movie, and I love answering those movie
trivia questions they put up before the
show. So I think I’m just going to head
out.

PETER
(disappointed)
I understand. Enjoy the film.

24 EXT. STREET - DAY 24

Dev and Brian are walking after leaving the theater.

BRIAN
Wow. I gotta say, out of the fifteen X-
Men movies I’ve seen, that was definitely
in the top nine.

DEV
Yeah. There were like 30 heroes, 40
villains. There are just too many people
in these movies now.
(checking his phone)
Text from my dad: “Please come and fix my
iPad. Now it won’t stop dinging.” Does
your dad text you to fix stuff all the
time?

BRIAN
I don’t think my dad knows how to text.
He also hates talking in person. He
averages like three words a week.
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 10.
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24 CONTINUED: 24

DEV
Our dads are so weird. I told my dad I
made the final round of callbacks on The
Sickening --

BRIAN
That black virus movie? That’s great!

DEV
Thank you! I told him and he’s like “Uh,
okay, are you going fix my iPad?” How
about “Hey son, I’m proud of you?” or
“Hey son, great work!”

BRIAN
Oh I’ve never heard my dad say the word
proud. It’s always like “Oh that’s it?
That’s all you’ve done?” If I went to the
moon, honestly, he would be like, “When
are you going to Mars?”

DEV
Yeah, like “Brian, you went to the moon?
That’s like graduating from community
college. When are you going to graduate
from Harvard AKA go to Pluto?”

BRIAN
I just feel like Asian parents just don’t
have the emotional reach to say they’re
proud or whatever. You ever hang out with
white people’s parents? They are crazy
nice. I had dinner with my last
girlfriend’s mom once. By the end of the
meal, she had hugged me more times than
anyone in my family has ever hugged me in
my entire life.

DEV
Yeah, dude, most white families would be
so psyched to adopt me.

Dev’s phone buzzes. He checks it.

DEV (CONT’D)
Ugh. Now, my dad wants to come over and
have tea with his old friend, Dr.
Ramusami. Can you come so I have an easy
out to leave quickly?

BRIAN
You want me to hang out with your dad and
another old Indian man? No. I’m not doing
that, it’s nice outside.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 11.
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24 CONTINUED: (2) 24
BRIAN (CONT'D)
I’m going go hang out in the park and
look at NBA trade rumors on my phone.

DEV
Hey come on, be a bud here, don’t make me
go solo, I’ll be able to leave quicker if
we go together.

BRIAN
Fine, but you have to come hang out with
me at the networking mixer for Asian
American business professionals that my
cousin James is hosting next weekend.

DEV
Alright, deal.

25 INT. RAMESH’S HOUSE - DAY 25

Dev and Brian drink tea with Ramesh and DR. RAMUSAMI (an
older Indian man).

RAMESH
Brian, would you like to try some Indian
snacks?
(naming the snacks while
pointing to each one)
Mysore pak, murukku, mirchi, omapodi.

BRIAN
I’m okay, thanks.

RAMESH
How about some popadum?

Brian nods and takes one.

DR. RAMUSAMI
So Dev the acting is going well, then?

DEV
Yeah, well enough. I’m up for this movie.
I was doing mostly commercials, but I
recently have been trying to get more
real acting roles. This was actually my
first movie audition.

DR. RAMUSAMI
If the first audition went well, that’s
very good.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 12.
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25 CONTINUED: 25

DEV
Thanks. Please tell my dad. He’s really
puzzled why I’m not already starring in
Iron Man already.

RAMESH
Iron Man movies are very good. That guy
is strong and funny too!

DR. RAMUSAMI
You’ll be fine. How did you get into the
acting? This was something you always
wanted to do?

DEV
Not really. I was walking around in
Washington Square Park a few years ago
and some guy said they needed a minority
for a Fruit by the Foot commercial, so I
did it and got paid pretty well, so I
just kept doing more commercials. And
from that I kind of fell into it more
regular acting.

DR. RAMUSAMI
Very good. You are making a good life. At
your age, your father had barely stopped
working at the zipper factory.

DEV
Zipper factory?

RAMESH
Yep. I worked at the zipper factory for
two years while I was trying to get money
to go to medical school.

DEV
You never told me about that.

DR. RAMUSAMI
He worked very hard there before going to
America. You know the little tabs that go
on the end of the zipper that you pull?
He made the holes in them. He was so good
at that. The best. If he didn’t go to
America, you would probably be working in
that zipper factory now, making those
holes.

ON DEV’S FACE: This sinks in.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 13.
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25 CONTINUED: (2) 25

BRIAN
Instead, Dev lives here. Where his
biggest problem is that the wi-fi is
messed up in his apartment.

DEV
Hey, that’s a serious issue. Remember
when we tried to watch that video of a
guy falling into his own wedding cake?
The buffering took a long time.

DR. RAMUSAMI
I’ve seen that video clip. Very funny.

RAMESH
Brian, can you send me the link please?

BRIAN
Sure.

DEV
Why didn’t you just ask me?

RAMESH
I like Brian.

26 EXT. CHINATOWN PARK - AFTERNOON 26

Dev and Brian walk past a group of elderly Chinese women

doing an exercise class in the park. Brian looks at his
phone.

BRIAN
Mason says Happy Endings is “poppin off.”
His words. Should we go?

DEV
Sure. Man, that was pretty crazy what my
dad was talking about. Working in a
zipper factory? I never knew that stuff.
Do you know a lot about your dad’s
backstory?

BRIAN
Yeah, I mean, I know the big points: he
was poor. He was in another country. It
was tough. And then he came here. I got
the gist of it.

DEV
Isn’t that the “gist” of every
immigrant’s story? That they immigrated
and it was hard?
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 14.
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26 CONTINUED: 26
DEV (CONT'D)
Shouldn’t you be slightly more interested
in your dad’s story, being that he is
your dad?

BRIAN
Yeah, but again, he doesn’t talk much. I
once found a photo of him in the
military. He just said “hard time” and
went to another room.

DEV
Isn’t it weird, all of us first
generation kids, we have these amazing
lives all because our parents made these
crazy sacrifices? Shouldn’t we find out
more? Shouldn’t we at least try to thank
them somehow?

BRIAN
Like a gift or something? What would I
get my dad? He doesn’t really have any
interests.
(beat)
He likes drinking water, staying
hydrated. I could give him a gallon of
water as a gift. Is there such a thing as
a “water of the month” club?

DEV
What if we took our parents out to a nice
dinner? We could learn more about their
lives and just say thank you.

BRIAN
Yeah, sure. I bet my dad will be in.
Because you know what he’ll be able to
drink at this dinner? Water.

27 EXT. STREET/INT. CASTING DIRECTOR’S OFFICE - PRESENT DAY 27

Dev gets a phone call. It’s the casting office. We INTERCUT.

CASTING DIRECTOR
Hey Dev, so the director’s not going to
be able to fly in tomorrow. He really
liked your read, though, and wanted to
see if you could read now via Skype.

DEV
Oh, well the my wi-fi is shoddy in my
apartment. Is there any way we could do
it in a couple hours? I can try to go to
a friend’s house?

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 15.
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27 CONTINUED: 27

CASTING DIRECTOR
Ooh, their time is pretty tight, could
you find somewhere else to go quickly?

DEV
Yeah, let me grab my computer and I’ll
figure something out. I’ll be on in five
minutes.

28 INT. THINK COFFEE - DAY 28

Dev has set up his computer in a crowded Think Coffee. TODD,

the director, is on Skype.

DEV
Okay, can you guys hear me?

TODD
Yep, let’s read scene 22, the part of Dr.
Vincent.

DEV
Yeah, okay.

Dev pulls out his script.

DEV (CONT’D)
Dr. Lorenzo, I’ve isolated the samples.
If my calculations are correct, the
sickening could infect one billion people
in the next 12 hours.

TODD
(reading along flat)
My God.

DEV
Wait... one of the samples, it’s missing.
Oh god. The vial. It’s been compromised.

TODD
(reading along flat)
Dr. Vincent, the pathogen, it’s
airborne...

DEV
The sickening! It’s happening!

TODD
Okay, I’m going to stop you there. This
is the first time we see the sickening
take hold. Could you play that up more?
Are you sitting down?
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 16.
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28 CONTINUED: 28
TODD (CONT'D)
Why don’t you get up out of your chair
and act like the sickening is taking over
your body.

DEV
Sure.

Dev stands up.

DEV (CONT’D)
(going crazy, flailing around)
THE SICKENING! IT’S HAPPENING!!!! MY EYES
ARE ON FIRE! MY ARM!! MY FLESH IS TURNING
INTO FIRE!!! THE SICKENING!!!

TODD
(reading sides)
Dr. Vincent, what is happening in the
lab?

DEV
The room is contaminated! The virus,
it’ll kill us all! Everyone get the fuck
out of here NOOOOOOW!!!

Customers are looking at Dev and are uneasy. A dude starts

walking out of the shop. As he’s halfway through the door,
Dev starts screaming again.

DEV (CONT’D)
Wait! It’s too late, lock the fucking
doors. We need to sacrifice ourselves to
stop it from spreading.

The guy looks very confused in the doorway. An EMPLOYEE at

Think Coffee walks up to Dev.

EMPLOYEE
Sir. You can’t do whatever it is you’re
doing here. You need to leave.

DEV
Sorry, I’m just doing an audition.
Please, I’m almost done.
(to the screen)
Sorry guys. I’ll just pick it up from
there.
(back to the scene)
Holy fucking shit, no!!!!!

DEV (CONT’D)
(to the employee)
Okay, I’m done.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 17.
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28 CONTINUED: (2) 28

Dev looks back at his computer screen where Todd is speaking.

TODD
Alright thanks Dev. We’ll be in touch.

Todd hits a sign off button on the computer, but it stays on.

TODD (CONT’D)
Why the fuck was he in a coffee shop?
Jesus Christ. Is he homeless?

DEV
Oh. Um. You guys are still signed on.

TODD
Oh shit. Sorry. All good. Thanks!

29 INT. SHUN LEE PALACE - NIGHT 29

Dev, Brian, Peter, and Dev’s parents, Ramesh and Fatima, are
talking. Dev raises a glass.

DEV
Guys, thanks so much for coming. Brian
and I wanted to take you out for a nice
dinner and just say thank you. You came
to this country and worked very hard. You
gave us a better life and we’ve never
really shown our appreciation.
(raising his glass)
To our parents!

A WAITER comes by.

RAMESH
Excuse me, sir! Can we also order a
chicken with broccoli please?

PETER
(to waiter, in Mandarin,
subtitled)
Sorry this man is ordering chicken with
broccoli. Please bring us the good dishes
you only serve to Chinese people.

WAITER
(in Mandarin, subtitled)
Sure of course. Totally understand. I
can’t believe they think that’s what we
eat in Taiwan. Can you imagine?

RAMESH
What’s this super special spicy Szechuan
chicken?
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 18.
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29 CONTINUED: 29

FATIMA
Anna! Why are you looking at that? You
don’t even eat spicy food.

RAMESH
But it’s super special! Must be good.

30 INT. SHUN LEE PALACE - LATER 30

Some dishes are on the table. Fatima is eating a plate of

plain rice.

FATIMA
Dev, did you bring those photos from our
trip to New Zealand?

DEV
No, I forgot. I’m sorry.

FATIMA
He always takes so many photos with his
camera and then we never get to see them.

RAMESH
I took a bunch of photos on the iPad.

FATIMA
No, you just took one long video.

RAMESH
Hey! That’s the whole trip man! You see
everything.

DEV
Ma, why are you just eating white rice?

FATIMA
I’ll eat whatever I want to eat! Do I
tell you what to eat? I don’t even like
Chinese food.

DEV
Why didn’t you say something? We didn’t
have to come here. We could have gone
somewhere else.

She continues picking at her plate.

RAMESH
This place is great. We came here once a
long time ago. Your mom didn’t eat
anything though.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 19.
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30 CONTINUED: 30

DEV
Yeah, because she doesn’t like Chinese
food.

RAMESH
I like it, though. Chinese food is very
good!

An awkward beat.

BRIAN
Um... another reason we wanted to take
you guys out to dinner was to learn more
about you and how you got here. Dad, do
you have anything you’d like to share?

PETER
I cannot think of anything noteworthy.

BRIAN
Come on, there’s gotta be something. What
did you do when you were growing up in
Taiwan?

PETER
I worked very hard.

BRIAN
Anything particularly interesting happen?

A long silence.

PETER
No.

DEV
(to his parents)
Well, what about you guys? What would you
guys do when you were our age here in New
York?

FATIMA
I just worked and took care of you and
your father.

DEV
What about for fun?

FATIMA
(annoyed in a funny way)
Po da! We didn’t do anything for fun.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 20.
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30 CONTINUED: (2) 30

RAMESH
You realize “fun” is a new thing, right?
Fun is a luxury that only your generation
really has. We worried about food and
having a roof on our head. We didn’t
worry about having fun and getting drunk
every night.

DEV
Alright, what about when you were kids?
What would you do for fun then?

FLASHBACK: RAMESH’S LIFE

31 EXT. MARKET - INDIA, 1950’S - DAY 31

Child Ramesh and his dad walk by a vendor selling various

secondhand items. The vendor is strumming a guitar and
selling some as well. Ramesh’s eyes light up. Ramesh runs up
and picks up a guitar.

CHILD RAMESH
(Tamil, subtitled)
Daddy! Look at this guitar! Can we buy
it?

RAMESH’S DAD
(Tamil, subtitled)
Put that down. Do you want a beating? We
don’t have time for that.

Ramesh puts the guitar back down. Ramesh and his dad leave.
Ramesh looks longingly back at the guitar.

32 INT. RAMESH’S HOUSE - U.S., EARLY 1990’S - DAY 32

Ramesh brings home a guitar for Child Dev.

RAMESH
Hey man, look, I got you a guitar!

Dev is playing video games. He doesn’t even look up.

CHILD DEV
Dad, I’m playing my games.

Ramesh looks disappointed. He sets the guitar down in a

corner.

END FLASHBACK

RAMESH
We would run outside? I don’t know. We
didn’t have toys or anything.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 21.
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32 CONTINUED: 32
RAMESH (CONT'D)
It’s not like here. When you grow up
here, we have to get you all toys. We
have to get you soccer team, guitar
lessons, Nintendo. I wanted to play
guitar, Thatha said, “No, we don’t have
time for that nonsense.” I just studied,
I ran outside, came home, ate some rice,
and went to bed.

DEV
Okay. Well, Ma, what about your first day
in New York? That must have been
exciting.

FATIMA
I don’t know. We got here, I got dropped
home from the airport and then your dad
went to work. I didn’t know anyone, I
barely even knew your father.
(to Brian and Peter)
We’d had an arranged marriage, so I’d
known him for maybe a week at that point.
It was hard. I just sat on the couch and
waited for him.

DEV
Did you, like, read a book or watch TV or
something?

FATIMA
No, I just sat on the couch and cried.

DEV
Wow. Well, that’s profoundly sad.

FATIMA
You asked!

DEV
Anything else happen that you remember?

FATIMA
I was scared to answer the telephone
because I had an accent and people would
yell at me that they couldn’t understand.

Peter perks up at this.

PETER
I was also scared to answer the phone.
They yell so much! “What?” “Huh!” I just
got to the country! Why are they so mad?

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 22.
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32 CONTINUED: (2) 32

BRIAN
That’s messed up. Your English is good!
Any other stories you remember from when
you first got here or your childhood?

The waiter drops a plate of chicken and rice. Peter looks at

it and thinks of something...

FLASHBACK: PETER’S LIFE

33 EXT. PETER’S CHILDHOOD HOUSE - TAIWAN, 1950’S - DAY 33

Child Peter chops off the head of a chicken.

END FLASHBACK

34 INT. SHUN LEE PALACE - MINUTES LATER 34

Peter’s just finished his story.

BRIAN
You ate your pet chicken?!

PETER
Yes.

There’s a beat of silence.

RAMESH
You have any more pet chickens you can
kill? I’ve been waiting here for 45
minutes. Where’s my chicken with
broccoli, man!

Everyone, Peter included, laughs.

PETER
Once, when Brian was younger, we were at
a restaurant. They brought out a plate of
desserts for us to look at and Brian
grabbed a piece of chocolate cake and put
it all over his face.

Everyone laughs again.

BRIAN
To be clear, I was seven.

PETER
(mimicking Brian and reaching)
“Oh, yum!”

Ramesh lets out a crazy laugh.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 23.
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34 CONTINUED: 34

RAMESH
One time, we took Dev to Pizza Hut and
this girl was bullying him. She pushed
him into the ball pit.
(mimicking Dev)
Daddy! That girl Wendy pushed me!

DEV
She got held back a grade. That girl was
huge.

FATIMA
Ooooh I remember, she would beat him up
all the time.

Peter, Ramesh, and Fatima start laughing.

PETER
(deadpan)
This is fun. I am having fun.

Dev and Brian give each other a look: this is going well.

35 EXT. STREET - A FEW DAYS LATER - DAY 35

Dev and Brian walk and talk.

BRIAN
That was great the other night, man.
Never heard any of that shit before. What
an insane journey. My dad used to bathe
in a river, and now he drives a car that
talks to him.

DEV
Crazy. So nuts to think every immigrant’s
story is probably insane.

BRIAN
I’m so glad we did that. I can’t believe
there’s a universe where I wouldn’t know
that my dad used to ride a water buffalo
named Ting Ting.

DEV
Yeah, or that my mom had a friend named
Kunjilikaka.

Dev’s phone buzzes. He glances up.

DEV (CONT’D)
Oh shit. Look at this text chain with all
the parents!

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 24.
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35 CONTINUED: 35

Brian looks at his phone. It’s a really long text chain

between Ramesh, Fatima, Dev, and Peter.

DEV (CONT’D)
Ton of grammar mistakes, but quite
endearing.

BRIAN
My dad’s on there?

DEV
Yeah, I guess they exchanged numbers
after dinner. Your dad’s making some
pretty good wisecracks.

BRIAN
Why am I not on there?

DEV
I think there’s another Brian. Brian
Donkers. Someone must have screwed up.
They want to have dinner again with all
of us tonight.

His phone buzzes again.

DEV (CONT’D)
(reading)
My dad: “Let’s ‘chow’ down at Mr.
Chow’s.”
(it buzzes again)
Peter Chang: “This sounds fun. I would
attend this event.”

BRIAN
What’s going on here?!

DEV
We can’t go to dinner with them again. I
can’t be hanging out with Peter Chang on
the regs.

BRIAN
No, I just wanted to do one dinner. I
didn’t want a serious relationship with
my father. Tell them we can’t go.

DEV
(typing)
“Sorry, Brian and I already have plans.”

The phone buzzes five more times.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 25.
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35 CONTINUED: (2) 35

DEV (CONT’D)
Peter Chang: “Dev, don’t worry, Wendy the
bully won’t be there haha.”

BRIAN
Damn, Peter Chang coming hard with the
snaps.

DEV
Brian Donkers says: “I’m in!”

36 INT. CASTING OFFICE - HALLWAY - DAY 36

Dev’s phone buzzes. It’s his dad: “Sorry you can’t make
dinner. Call me.” Dev ignores it and keeps walking.

37 INT. CASTING OFFICE - CASTING DIRECTOR’S OFFICE - DAY 37

Dev walks into the casting director’s office.

DEV
Hey, I’m so sorry about that weird Skype
audition. If there’s any way I can read
again, I know I can do better.

CASTING DIRECTOR
I agree, which is why I brought you in
today for a session with the studio.

DEV
Great!

CASTING DIRECTOR
But here’s the thing: we just went with
another actor to play Dr. Vincent.

DEV
Huh?

CASTING DIRECTOR
His agent called like literally ten
minutes ago and closed his deal. You
know, instead of doing another audition
that would really be a waste of all of
our times, I figured I would just tell
you the truth. But now I’m sort of
regretting that decision.

DEV
No, that’s okay. I wasn’t doing anything
anyway.
(beat)
I guess I’ll grab a water and head out.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 26.
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37 CONTINUED: 37

CASTING DIRECTOR
Um... that’s kind of just for people to
have a drink while they’re waiting, not
really for a to-go situation. I’m very
sorry.

DEV
Are you fucking serious?

CASTING DIRECTOR
It’s not for people to just take it and
go. This isn’t New Orleans.

Dev exits sadly.

38 EXT. STREET - MOMENTS LATER 38

Dev is leaving, he sees another text from his dad: “You must
be busy. Give us a call when you can.”

Dev calls his dad back.

RAMESH
Hello?

DEV
Hey Dad.

RAMESH
I just took Dr. Ramusami back to the
train station. He had a good time. He
loved Brian. What’s up with you, man?

DEV
(down)
Nothing much.

RAMESH
Everything okay?

DEV
Yeah. It’s fine... I just met with the
movie people and I didn’t get the part.

RAMESH
Ahh, that’s okay. Mom and I were just
watching your GoGurt commercial. You do a
good job, man.
(imitating Dev)
Did you show the YouTube to them?

DEV
No. You don’t usually show YouTube clips
during auditions. But thank you.
(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 27.
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38 CONTINUED: 38

RAMESH
Well, it’s okay. You’ll get the next one.
We know that you are working very hard on
your acting.

DEV
Thanks.

RAMESH
Bye-bye.

Dev takes it in. He sees a music store with a guitar in the

window.

39 INT. RAMESH’S HOUSE - DAY 39

Ramesh, Fatima sit on the couch with their hands over their
eyes.. Dev stands facing them holding a guitar.

DEV (V.O.)
Eyes are closed, right?

RAMESH NISHA
Yep Yep

DEV
All right, open them.

Dev hands Ramesh a guitar case.

DEV (CONT’D)
Surprise! Got you a gift.

Ramesh opens the case and examines the nice acoustic guitar.

RAMESH
Ooh, very nice.

DEV
Yeah, you said Thatha wouldn’t get you a
guitar, so I got you one. And I got you
a month of lessons too.

RAMESH
Thank you, Dev. You get a hug for that.

He hugs Dev.

FATIMA
No gift for me?

DEV (V.O.)
Yup, I got you something, too.

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 28.
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39 CONTINUED: 39

Dev hands Fatima a nice frame with a photo of Dev, Ramesh,

and Fatima.

FATIMA
Awww, that’s beautiful. Thank you so
much. I love you.

Fatima hugs Dev.

DEV
I love you too.
(beat)
All right, where should we go eat?

RAMESH
Mr. Chow’s!

FATIMA
Ramesh, get out of here! You know I don’t
like Chinese food!

Dev looks at her, a little surprised and happy that she’s

speaking up.

DEV
You want to just cook some food at home?

FATIMA
Yeah, let me make some korma.

DEV
You sure you don’t want me to take you
out to dinner?

FATIMA
I like cooking for you! You don’t need to
take us out to a fancy dinner or
anything. Why don’t you just call us
every week? If you did that, we’d be very
happy.

DEV
(to Ramesh)
Hey, give me your iPad.

Ramesh gives him the iPad. He programs in an event, “Weekly

call with Dev at 6 PM.” Ramesh plays a chord badly on the
guitar.

RAMESH
(singing)
“Sorry, Mr. Chow, we are not going to
your restaurant today!”

(CONTINUED)
 MASTER OF NONE “Parents” [102] 29.
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39 CONTINUED: (2) 39

FATIMA
Stop that!

40 INT. PETER’S APARTMENT - DAY 40

Brian brings over two copies of The Economist. He and Peter

read them together sitting next to each other on the couch.

BRIAN
You’re right, Dad. We’re pretty screwed.

PETER
(chuckling)
Told you.

41 INT. RAMESH’S HOUSE - DAY 41

A week later.

DEV
Hey, the guitar guy called and said you
cancelled the rest of the lessons?

RAMESH
Eh, yeah, I don’t know. I tried it.
Didn’t like it that much. My fingers hurt
when I held the strings.

DEV
I thought it was your dream. What about
that sad story about how Thatha wouldn’t
buy you a guitar you saw in the store?

RAMESH
I don’t know, man. Get out of here. I’m
trying to play my computer game.

Ramesh plays a game on his iPad very happily, making the same
silly noises he made when he was seven years old, playing
with his abacus in India sixty years ago.

END OF SHOW