Luis Saldana

Professor Rodrick

English 115

12/09/17 What Influences Our Identity?

Should we let other people create our own identity or does it make more sense for us to

do it ourselves? It seems most of the people nowadays are being brainwashed into being

someone they dont want to be. But not everyone is brainwashed, they might have just grown

up with the wrong information. This would cause our identity to be changing constantly as we

grow up and depend on people. Identity is a representation of who we are in society. It is a vital

piece of who we are, yet can also be a sensitive thing that can be easily molded or taken

advantage of. For example, if we take someone who considers themselves as creative, bright, and

outspoken, and place this individual in the wrong environment, it can affect their identity from

being a bright lad to having an intolerant persona. Identity can be affected by our loved ones and

simple things like toys. There are many factors that contribute to our identity, like family,

gender-stereotypes, and ethnicity. I believe that these factors can either impart that identity with a

positive or a negative effect on us.

Our family are the very first people who have the influence in the creation of our own

identity. Most of the time, families have a huge positive influence on us. I say most families

because no family is perfect, some will still have their downfalls. Other than that, families play a

huge role in our lives in the way we are raised and who we turn out to be in the future. Stacey

Tabb supports this claim in her article The Family Influence on Identity where she believes

that they shape [the] childs self-esteem, socialization, and cultural identity(Tabb). Basically,
Tabb is saying that family is important in providing a positive influence on our identity which

supports my claim because family is the first positive thing that the child will encounter in their

life. Theyre the ones who teach us from right and wrong, how to behave, manners, etc. From the

second the child is born, the family are the ones who will be spending most of their time with

him/her. If the family is able to successfully provide a strong relationship with their child, the

child will become more thoughtful to others. The child would feel more loved and portray that

same feeling onto other people around him/her instead of hate. Overall, theyll have the mindset

that they are a good person who should do good in the world.There are different ways of

spending time with their children that can increase their identity, for example, playing with them.

Being able to play with the child will strengthen their ability to socialize. As they learn to

increase their socials skills, it would help them adapt to making friends - especially when they

start their journey in school. Alison LaFortune defends this idea in her article What is the

Family Impact on Early Childhood Development? when she states that Parental participation

in childrens activities, like outdoor exploration or reading books together, has been shown to

lead to a more social child(LaFortune). LaFortune is insisting that when the children begin

school they will jump right into games and show more independent behaviour in those

situations(LaFortune). LaFortune believes that they would act as if they were just playing with

their parents at home, demonstrating the success of the parents positive influence on their social

skills. When the children make friends, they will encounter different type of people. Their family

are suppose to teach their child that everyone is the same. People might have different skin color

or dont look the same but it's not what the other person looks like that matters. This is what the

family is teaching their child. Theyre teaching them to outcast a specific type of person, whether

be for skin color or ethnicity. With all this put together, the childs identity can be described as
someone who is kind, social and noble. In the end, even though our family are a positive

influence on us, there are still other factors that can have the opposite effect on us as well, for

example, gender-stereotypes.

These negative gender-stereotypes can range from the toys were not suppose to be

playing with, the type of clothing we shouldnt be wearing, and the way we shouldnt be acting

in public. When were children, we usually focus our attention to the toys we play with.

However, stereotypes can be found on these toys: boys have to play with masculine toys such as

cars, robots, action figures, etc. and girls have to play with feminine toys such as princesses,

mock makeup kits, mock kitchens, etc. Obviously, as children we dont know that these

stereotypes exist, we just grab whatever catches our attention. We can see this in the video Girl

Rant Targets Gender Role, Toy on youtube. In the video, we see that the little girl wanted a

superhero action figure but she knew that people would find it odd that a girl is playing with a

masculine toy. The little girl attempts to defend herself when she states some girls like

superheroes and some girls like princesses, some boys like superheroes and some boys like

princesses(Girls Rant Targets Gender Roles, Toy). In other worlds, the little girl believes that

gender should not be role in choosing a toy to play with. There are girls who like masculine

toys and there are boys who like feminine toys and that should be of no ones concern. These

are just toys and yet society creates these stereotypes that gives so much pressure just to choose a

toy that the child will eventually forget. As we grow up, we forget about toys and start focusing

more about the clothing we wear. Some people use their clothing as a way of describing

themselves but this same clothing can have negative connotations. Similar in terms of choosing a

toy, theres specificity on the type of clothing each gender should be wearing. For women, if they

were to wear male clothing then theyll have the possibility of being called a tomboy or have
people telling her that she isn't feminine enough. With men, they have to give off a dominant

appearance. Something as simple as a guy wearing a pink shirt, or heels, or shorts that are too

small can give him the label of fag. Those men would be viewed as more feminine rather than

masculine. Behaviour can have an affect on this as well. It seems that women arent suppose to

be speaking or acting dominantly, cant walk like a guy, or be allowed to wear the pants in a

relationship. According to society, theyre suppose to stay dependent of men. On the other side of

the field, men aren't supposed to have a strut in their walk, talk with a feminine voice, nor

express submission. In simple terms, men are meant to be masculine and dominant while girls

are meant to be feminine and submissive. In the end creating someone who is to timid to be

themselves out in public. Although family gives a positive influence and gender-stereotypes give

a negative influence, there are factors that provide the identity both influences, for example,

something as basic as school.

Many have experienced entering school with a set identity, for it to be later altered by the

end of school. School is a good example of a factor that contributes both positive and negative

influences on identity because it provides students with smiling memories or awful memories.

Not everyone has it tough in school but a problem,bullying, has been a big issue in many

schools. Bullying not only hurts the victim physically but it also affects their identity. Bullying is

demonstrated in both verbal and physical acts and most of the time the bully targets those who

identify themselves in the LGBTQ group. People in the LGBTQ community are hated for who

they are and for their sexual preference.This is why coming out of the closet brings lots of

fear to the individual. They know that they cant be open because theres the chance that people

will view them as strange or an abomination. Marilyn J. Hoppe, author of her article Negative

and Positive Factors Associated With the Well-Being of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender,
Queer, and Questioning (LGBTQ) Youth states that Youth also reported experiencing, hearing

about or witnessing physical harassment such as being pushed, bullied, beaten up, or having food

thrown at them when they were identified as LGBTQ. Hoppe supports the fact that these kids

are scared of being themselves because they are scared of being viewed as a target. This supports

my claim because this makes the students become someone else who they know they arent in

the first place. They decide to give off a new persona to save themselves. However, School not

only contain bullies but good people who youll eventually call friends. These friends are the

smiling memories youll obtain. Its said that friends shape who you are more than you realize.

We tend to find the people who are similar to us and eventually we start to get comfortable

around them. This puts a positive influence on our identity because we know that we can be

whoever we want or act however we please without the judgement from others. Friends are part

of our own comfort zone. Within these groups of friends, we tend to look past our differences

and see each other for who we really are. Similar to a flock of birds flying together, where they

attempt to fly in the same direction with synchronization but can be faulty at such at times. This

shows that were all alike but theres still small differences that are not noticeable. Although

these were just two examples, school contains many other factors within it that demonstrates

both positive and negative influences.

It's inevitable, we will encounter factors in our lives that will change our identity, even if

we don't realize it. These influences can have a positive or negative effect on our identity which

will then make us who we are today. Our surroundings can affect us from the toys we played

with when we were a child, to the clothes we wear now and the people we surround ourselves

with in the middle. I suggest that when we encounter these factors, we should first decide if its

for the better or for the worse. If its bad, then walk away from it, dont let it corrupt you. We are
who we are, and we should not let negativity make us think otherwise. If its good then learn

from it, dont be afraid to be yourself. Just embrace your identity that you choose to create.
 Works Cited

Girls rant targets gender role, toys. Youtube, uploaded by CNN, 26 Dec 2011,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srnaXW9ZgZc

Higa, Darrel et al. Negative and Positive Factors Associated With the Well-Being of

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Questioning (LGBTQ) Youth.

Youth & society 46.5 (2014): 663687. PMC. Web. 9 Dec. 2017.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4337813/

LaFortune, Alison. What Is the Family Impact on Early Childhood Development?

LIVESTRONG.COM, Leaf Group, 2 Feb. 2014,

www.livestrong.com/article/267910-what-is-the-family-impact-on-early-

childhood-development/.

Tabb, Stacy. The Familys Influence on Identity. HowtoAdult,

https://howtoadult.com/familys-influence-identity-7846142.html