The next three pages shows the rubric used to assess the argumentative writing.

There are three sections: Organization/Purpose, Evidence/Elaboration, and

Conventions. Conventions is scored up to a total of 2 points while the other two sections are scored up to a total of 4. This rubric was used for the diagnostic,
formative, and summative assessments.
4-Point
Argumentative
Performance Task Writing Rubric (Grades 6-11)
Score 4 3 2 1 NS
The response has a clear and The response has an evident The response has an inconsistent The response has little or no Insufficient
effective organizational structure, organizational structure and a sense organizational structure. Some discernible organizational (includes copied
creating a sense of unity and of completeness. Though there may flaws are evident, and some ideas structure. The response may be text)
completeness. The organization is be minor flaws, they do not interfere may be loosely connected. The related to the claim but may
fully sustained between and within with the overall coherence. The organization is somewhat sustained provide little or no focus:
In a language
paragraphs. The response is organization is adequately sustained between and within paragraphs. other than
consistently and purposefully between and within paragraphs. The The response may have a minor drift
English
focused: response is generally focused: in focus:

claim is clear, and the focus is claim may be somewhat unclear, claim may be confusingor Off-topic
claim is introduced, clearly ambiguous; response may be too
mostly maintained for the purpose or the focus may be insufficiently
communicated, and the focus is and audience sustained for the purpose and/or brief or the focus may drift from Off-purpose
Organization/Purpose

strongly maintained for the audience the purpose and/or audience

purpose and audience
adequate use of transitional inconsistent use of transitional few or no transitional strategies
consistent use of a variety of strategies with some variety to strategies and/or little variety are evident
transitionalstrategiesto clarify clarify relationshipsbetween and
the relationships between and among ideas
among ideas
adequate introduction and introduction or conclusion, if introduction and/or conclusion
effective introduction and conclusion present, may be weak may be missing
conclusion
adequate progression of ideas uneven progression of ideas from frequent extraneous ideas may be
logical progression of ideas from from beginningto end; adequate beginningto end; and/or evident; ideas may be randomly
beginningto end; strong connections between and among formulaic; inconsistent or unclear ordered or have unclear
connections between and among ideas connections among ideas progression
ideas with some syntactic variety
alternate and opposing alternate and opposing alternate and opposing
alternate and opposing argument(s) are adequately argument(s) may be confusing or argument(s) may not be
argument(s)are clearly acknowledged or addressed* not acknowledged * acknowledged *
acknowledged or addressed*
 4-Point
Argumentat ive
Performance Task Writing Rubric (Grades 6-11)
Score 4 3 2 1 NS

The response provides thorough and The response provides adequate The response provides uneven, The response provides minimal Insufficient
convincing elaboration of the elaboration of the support/evidence cursory elaboration of the elaboration of the support/evidence (includes copied
support/evidence for the claim and for the claim and argument(s) that support/evidence for the claim and for the claim and argument(s) that text)
argument(s) including reasoned, in- includes reasoned analysis and the argument(s) that includes some includes little or no use of source
depth analysis and the effective use use of source material. The response reasoned analysis and partial or material. The response is vague, lacks
of source material. The response adequately develops ideas, uneven use of source material. The clarity, or is confusing: In a language
clearly and effectively develops ideas, employing a mix of precise with more response develops ideas unevenly, other than
using precise language: general language: using simplistic language: English

Off-topic
comprehensive evidence (facts adequate evidence (facts and some evidence (facts and details) evidence (facts and details)from
and details)from the source details)from the source material from the source material may be the source material is minimal,
Evidence/Elaboration

material is integrated, relevant, is integrated andrelevant, yet may weakly integrated, imprecise, irrelevant, absent, incorrectly Off-purpose
and specific be general repetitive, vague, and/or copied used, or predominantly copied

clear citations or attribution to adequate use of citations or weak use of citations or insufficient use of citations or
source material attribution to source material attribution to source material attribution to source material

effective use of a variety of adequate use of some elaborative weak or uneven use of elaborative minimal, if any, use of elaborative
elaborative techniques* techniques* techniques*; development may techniques*; emotional appeal
consist primarily of source may dominate
summary or may rely on
emotional appeal

vocabulary is clearly appropriate vocabulary is generally vocabulary use is uneven or vocabulary is limited or ineffective
for the audience and purpose appropriate for the audience and somewhat ineffective for the for the audience and purpose
purpose audience and purpose

effective, appropriate style generally appropriate style is inconsistent or weak attempt to little or no evidence of appropriate
enhances content evident create appropriate style style
 2-Point
Argumentat ive
Performance Task Writing Rubric (Grades 6-11)
Score 2 1 0 NS
The response demonstrates an adequate The response demonstrates a partial command The response demonstrates little or no Insufficient
command of conventions: of conventions: command of conventions: (includes copied
text)
adequate use of correct sentence formation, limited use of correct sentence formation, infrequent use of correct sentence formation,
punctuation, capitalization, grammar usage, punctuation, capitalization, grammar usage, and punctuation, capitalization, grammar usage,
In a language
Conventions

and spelling spelling and spelling

other than
English

Off-topic

Off-purpose

Holistic Scoring:
Variety: A range of errors includes sentence formation, punctuation, capitalization, grammar usage, and spelling
Severity: Basic errors are more heavily weighted than higher-level errors.
Density: The proportion of errors to the amount of writing done well. This includes the ratio of errors to the length of the piece.
This spreadsheet shows the data for one of my classes last year. This was an 8th grade ELA class. The data shows that this classs percentage of mastery was
at 38.9%. This percentage was far below our goal of 80% mastery in argumentative writing for the class. As you can see under Unit 4, we did reach our
mastery percentage goal with 80.7% by the end of the year. The student examples shown after this spreadsheet are from Unit 2 (the first summative after the
diagnostic assessment).
 School Should Start Later

Research has shown that sleep deprivation directly affects high school students risk of
motor vehicle crashes and sports and work-related injuries by leaving them too tired to pay
attention or react quickly. Its also tied to poor mental health, including depression. This was
from the article Sleep-Deprived Teenagers Make Worse Choices But Schools Could Help Them
By Starting Later by Rita Rubin. Schools around the nation should start later because of three
simple reasons, decreasing risk of motor vehicle accidents, sleep deprivation, and mental health
issues. We all need to consider that starting school later could help a lot in a students life. The
problem is that school is starting to early.
Just think, if you were to wake up every morning before dawn to get ready for school and
have to spend 6 hours a day learning because you have no choice but to. But the twist is that you
slept at 11 oclock the night before because you were trying to make sure you finished all your
homework, and studied for your quiz the next day. How would you feel? Of course you would
feel tired because without enough sleep youre putting yourself in sleep deprivation. From that
sleep deprivation can lead to mental health problems, and mental health problems can cause
major problems to not only you but possibly the people that youre around on a daily basis.
Students shouldnt need to wake up this early in the day, the school systems need to consider
changing the start times to later in the morning.
To start it off, a reason why school starting later would be much better because of many
reasons. To better understand the situation, school starting later would help benefit the students,
teachers, and parents as well. If school were to start later it would allow students to get the right
amount of sleep every night and not suffer from sleep deprivation. In the article, Why School
Should Start Later In The Day by Lisa L. Lewis, it states that repeated studies also show that
when the school day starts later and teens get more sleep, both grades and standardized test
scores go up. This evidence illustrates that school starting later is better for students because not
only will you get enough sleep, it will also help those who are struggling to keep their grades up.
Another reason why school should start later would be the increase in motor vehicle
accidents. In the article, Sleep-Deprived Teenagers Make Worse Choices But Schools Could
Help Them By Starting Later by Rita Rubin, it says that it found that sleepy teens are even
more likely than their well-rested peers to make dumb choices--such as not wearing a seatbelt or
riding with a driver whos been drinking--that increase their risk of injury. This evidence
supports that with the lack of sleep, students are at a higher risk of being involved in making
dumb choices like getting behind wheel of their car, while knowing theyre too tired to drive.
Lastly, another reason that school should start later would be the suffrage of mental
health issues. When students dont get the right amount of sleep, they tend to go through stress.
From the stress, they begin to hurt their performance at school. This is just the beginning of
several mental health issues that a student could experience due to school starting so early in the
day. In the article, Teenagers and Sleep, it says like adults, teens who do not get enough sleep
are at risk for a number of problems in school and with their health, including: depression and
low self esteem, sleepiness and trouble concentrating, decline in school performance and grades,
and moodiness and trouble getting along with family and friends. This evidence supports that
not getting the right amount of sleep could cause major health issues for students.
People who disagree may claim that there is eight major obstacles to delaying school start
times. A possible concern they may raise is the problem of transportation, after-school activities,
other students and programs, reduced time to access public resources, teachers, stress for
families, uneducated community, and resistance of students. This could be possible because not
only are the students pretty much already used to school starting early, if schools would then
change the times it would cause quite a drastic change to the lives of students. On the contrary,
this argument is not enough for me or others to believe that school shouldnt start later.
When considering the issue of the problems that occur because of school starting so early
it is clear that students shouldnt need to wake up so early in the morning to attend school.
Students put their health and safety at risk by waking up so early to attend school. To just hear
school should start later, one would consider that its not something worth thinking about. But
if you were to do research about this topic, you would come to learn that school starting later
wouldnt be such a bad idea. As said earlier, later start times could benefit lives of students,
teachers, and parents.

Student Work Analysis:

This student initially scored a 3/10 on the diagnostic assessment; however, after their first
summative assessment, this student scored a 9/10. This leads me to believe that either the
student did not really know what they were doing for the diagnostic or that they did not put forth
a lot of effort toward the assessment. Nonetheless, the improvement shown from the diagnostic
was remarkable.

The student scored a 9/10 on this essay primarily because it is well organized with multiple
paragraphs and transitions, a clear thesis statement, and provides evidence to support her
reasoning. Additionally, the conventions of this paper are proficient.

Feedback for this student was to keep working on improving the little details of her conventions.
For example, adding a hyphen in self esteem and making sure there are no commas missing
where there needs to be one. Also, the student has a good hook; however, it was mentioned that
it could be more effective in that the phrasing makes it slightly confusing.

Rubric breakdown:

Organization/Purpose: 4

Evidence/Elaboration: 3

Conventions: 2
 The Benefit of Every Student Having their Own Personal Laptop

Have you ever wanted to have your own personal computer as a student? Well there are many
reasons why we should have our own personal computers. Students should have their own
personal laptops because students could use it as a learning aid, students could cut down of using
paper and stop wasting trees, and being able to use technology is a 21st century skill students
need for success.

Using our laptop as a learning aid is true because it helps students to improve more for
example students could have better grades and students could even explore more on the laptop
and also it could help students with their projects. In the article More Students Need a Laptop
Computer for the Classroom Stephanie Steinberg said, School officials say laptops improve
grades, boost critical-thinking skills and increase collaboration among students (2010). If
students were allowed to have their own personal laptops, the collaboration could happen inside
and outside of school.

Secondly, we could cut down used of paper and we could save trees. According to
askmeaboutgreen.com its say,if we save 1 ton of paper, then we also save a large tree trunk 13,
400 liters of oil, 4100 Kwh of electricity and 31,780 liters of water. So, we students could use
the computer more and use less of trees, we could save more tree, oil, and electricity (2009).

Additionally, by students having their own personal laptops they will acquire the 21st century
skill of using technology. According to the Online Learning Project for the 21st Century
Learning Grant summary, it says, Students will learn content knowledge, develop information
and communication technology literacy and cultivate workplace competencies such as
teamwork, communication, planning and problem solving. This evidence shows that when
students have their own personal laptops, it allows them more opportunity to learn skills such as
teamwork, communication, planning, and problem solving. These skills are important for the
success of all students.

People say that students should not have their own laptop in the article Why You
Shouldnt Use Laptops in Classrooms it says, Computers distract our peers. But in my
opinion, I think that we all should have our own computer because it helps us to be more
organized. According to EdTech it says, Personal technology devices have a range of features
that can aid students with organization, such as note-taking applications, calendars and virtual
sticky notes. These help students stay more organized by keeping all of their information
centralized and connected between devices. This evidence clearly shows that having our own
personal laptop can get us to be more well organized and well thought.

When considering the issue of our own personal laptop in school it clearly shows that
every student should have their own personal laptop in school. It is essential to recognize that
have our own laptop includes many benefits, such as being organized, using 21rst century skills
and by cutting down the use of paper and saving more trees. However, in the internet some
people say that having our own personal laptop is a bad idea because they think that we are
irresponsible. In fact, having our own personal laptop is a great thing to allow in school because
it helps us to be ready for school. So, if adults/teachers allow to have our own computer,
students could have the ability to do good in school.

Student Work Analysis:

This student initially scored a 4/10 on the diagnostic assessment; however, after their first
summative assessment, this student scored a 7/10. This score makes sense for this former ELL
student. Though she has struggled with the English language in the past, she is hard worker, and
that is what I attribute to her 3-point growth.

The student received a 7/10 again because of the organization through paragraphs and transition
statements, a clear thesis statement, and she provided evidence to support her reasoning.

The students biggest struggle was her ability to write clearly, specifically when concerning the
conventions. These two areas make sense because of her ELL history. I could tell she has a
strong argument, but it just need to be articulated more clearly.
 Gum In Class Essay

Gum Helps you focus. Research shows that people who chew gum do better in memory tasks.
From the article Science Daily it says Previous research has shown that chewing gum can
improve concentration in visual memory tasks. This study focussed on the potential benefits of
chewing gum during an auditory memory task. If gum where allowed in school students ability
on memory task will improve.

Chewing gum can improve memory, say UK psychologists. They found that people who
chewed throughout tests of both long-term and short-term memory produced significantly better
scores than people who did not. But gum-chewing did not boost memory -linked reaction times,
used as a measure of attention

Chewing gum is a great stress-buster. According to a large study, workers who chewgum
report less stress than their gum-free colleagues. That's because chomping on a stick of Wrigley's
stimulates the vagus nerve, which help induce relaxation. Just make sure your gum is sugar-free.

Gum in class helps you focus, improve your memory, and it even helps relieve stress. As
a student I have a hard time focusing by allowing gum in class itll help me focus. Even though
gum is a little object it can make a big difference, so let us chew gum in school!

Student Work Analysis:

This student initially scored a 4/10 on the diagnostic assessment; however, after their first
summative assessment, this student scored a 6/10.

I liked that the student was able to organize their paper into different concepts using paragraphs;
however, he struggled a lot with a comprehensive flow of the paper. For example, the student
failed to provide a thesis statement that outlined all the reasons for his argument. He mentions
memory in the first paragraph, but he does not mention stress reducing effects.

The student also attempted to provide evidence for his reasoning, but he was not able to provide
enough. Along with that, no conclusion was included in the students paper, and he needs to
improve his language conventions.
Guns should not be allowed in hawaii. The reasons what we should not have guns hawaii is
because suicide and homicide will go down, safer for the family was safe from people have
guns at their homes and lf they have a gun in their home the kids can grab the gun can be
under the bed and they can kill them self the person that have the gun can kill the kid in the
house the one with the gun can go to jail they will be in trouble can cause people to fight all the
time they will have blood on the floor if that person die it will be bad for the family their child will
die in front of them they will cry in front of the family wont forgive that person that shot him /her
dont stand there help him/her and they will be sad still yet they will love that person there is
about 300 million privately owned firearms in the US . America with nearly a third of the
population owning at least one gun low of a 55,000 to a high of over two million 74% of them
try to avoid breaking in a house the fear of being shot is often enough to dissuade criminals
from targeting certain homes 22% of parents believed and 72 percent of the time the gun not
allowed in school at all the homes are not safe at all if u have a gun in your house u will be in a
big trouble and it will be anywhere u see it u will not get anything out of the kids that have a gun
and the thing u think about is your family the family will be so sad about someone who got
shot from another family the family and it wont be good the family knows that they are gonna
miss her/him home protection in mind.

Student Work Analysis:

This student initially scored a 3/10 on the diagnostic assessment; however, after their first
summative assessment, this student scored a 4/10. This is a student who shows they struggle a
lot with English and working toward improvement and proficiency will be a longer process than
others.

Though the student was able to provide reasoning and even some statistical evidence to support
her work, the organization of this paper is what really brought it down. It is only in one
paragraph, so it makes it difficult for the reader to separate ideas and arguments. Although, an
attempt to making a clear thesis statement is shown in the first few lines, so I am happy to have
seen that started to stick.

For further summative assessments, this student would benefit from additional time in writing
and visual supports to help her organize her paper into paragraphs. Also, additional revisions for
conventions would benefit this student, too.

Rubric breakdown:

Organization/Purpose: 3

Evidence/Elaboration: 3

Conventions: 1