GROUNDHOG DAY AND CAUSE SOME SNOW.

Going out on a limb now.

Man: SOMEBODY ASKED ME TODAY Not going to hit us here in Pittsburgh. Going to push off and hit
PHIL, IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD Altoona. LET STAKE A LOOK AT THE FIVE DAY.NOTHING TO
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE? BE TOO SCARED ABOUT. BUNDLE UP WARM, OF COURSE.
AND I SAID TO HIM, PROBABLY RIGHT HERE ELKO, BUT YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR GALOSHES AT HOME. I WONT
NEVADA OUR NATIONS HIGH AT 79 TODAY.OUT IN BE HERE FOR THE 10:00. TOMORROW IS GROUNDHOG DAY.
CALIFORNIA IM GOING TO PUNXSUTAWNEY
THEYLL HAVE WARM WEATHER TOMORROW GANG WARS FOR OUR COUNTRYS
AND OVERPRICED REAL ESTATE. OLDEST GROUNDHOG FESTIVAL .
UP IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST SO ACCORDING TO THE LEGEND
THEYLL HAVE SOME VERY TALL TREES. TOMORROW, FEBRUARY 2
Clear across the Rockies and the Great Plains but look out, here IF THE GROUNDHOG WAKES AND SEES HIS SHADOW
comes trouble. WEVE GOT SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER.
blowing forcefully [WOMAN] YOU MUST REALLY ENJOY IT. THIS IS YOUR
Oh, boy! THIRD YEAR IN A ROW, ISNT IT, PHIL?
A front coming our way. [PHIL] FOUR, NAN. FOUR.
Thats going to mean to us here [PHIL] THANK, PHIL.
one of these big blue things! UP NEXT, ENTERTAINEMENT EDITOR DIANE KINGMAN
This cold, frigid Arctic air LOOKS AT SEX AND VIOLENCE IN THE MOVIES.
this big mass coming out of the north. STAY WITH US.
IT WILL MEET UP WITH THIS MOISTURE FROM THE GULF outro music
GOING TO MIX TOGETHER AT HIGH ALTITUDES Man: WERE CLEAR.
[WOMAN] HAVE FUN IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, PHIL. PREDICTIONS SHOW A STEADY LOW
[PHIL] FOR YOUR INFORMATION, HAIRDO THERE IS A YOURE FEELING JUST THE SAME
MAJOR NETWORK INTERESTED IN ME. BUT SEASONS COME AND SEASONS GO
[LARRY] YEAH. THAT WOULD BE THE HOME SHOPPING ILL MAKE YOUS SMILE AGAIN
NETWORK. IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME
[PHIL] THANKS, LARRY. GO WAIT IN THE VAN, WILL YOU? TAKE ME BY THE HAND
[LARRY] THAT WAS NICE, PHIL. CANT YOU FEEL YOURE WARMING UP?
[HENNY] BIG TREES. YEAH, IM YOUR WEATHERMAN.
[PHIL] STOP, HENNY. CAN YOU HANDLE THE 10:00? [PHIL] CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET, LARRY? IM PROBABLY
[HENNY] YEAH, YEAH. IF YOU DONT WANT TO RUSH BACK LEAVING PBH. SO THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME WE DO
I CAN DO THE 5:00 TOMORROW. THE GROUNDHOG TOGETHER .
[PHIL] OH, COME ON. I WANT TO STAY AN ENTRA SECOND [LARRY] WHATS WRONG WITH THE GROUNDHOG
IN PUNXSUTAWNEY? FESTIVAL?
[HENNY] RITA THINKS IT WOULD BE GREAT TO STAY WHEN I WORKED IN SAN DIEGO I COVERED THE
AROUND. SWALLOWS RETURNING TO CAPISTRANO SIX YEARS IN A
GET SOME INCREDIBLE FOOTAGE OF PEOPLE AND THE ROW.
FUN. [PHIL] SOMEDAY, SOMEBODY WILL SEE ME INTERVIEWING
YOU HAVENT WORKED WITH HER YET, HAVE YOU? A GROUNDHOG AND THINK I DONT HAVE A FUTURE.
SHES REALLY NICE. I THINK SHES GOING TO BE A REALLY [RITA] I THINK ITS A NICE STORY. HE COMES OUT.
GOOD PRODUCER. YOU GUYS WILL HAVE FUN. HE LOOKS AROUND. HE WRINKLES UP HIS LITTLE NOSE.
[PHIL] MMM-MMM. SHES FUN. BUT NOT MY KIND OF FUN. HE SEES HIS SHADOW , HE DOESNT SEE HISSHADOW.
I WILL BE HERE FOR THE 5:00. RITA. PEOPLE LIKE IT.
calypso-pop intro [PHIL] YOU ARE NEW, ARENT YOU? YOU KNOW,PEOPLE
LIKE BLOOD SAUSAGE TOO. PEOPLE ARE MORONS. sighs
[RITA] NICE ATTITUDE. [PHIL] RITA, I CANT STAY HERE.
[PHIL] LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE WHAT YOU LOOK [LARRY] PRIMA DONNA.
LIKE DOING THAT LITTLE GROUNDHOG THING. FOR ME, [RITA] CAN IT. WHATS THE MATTER?
ONCE. [PHIL] I HATE THIS PLACE. I STAYED HERE TWO YEARS
HE COMES OUT. AND THERE HE LOOKS AT HIS LITTLE AGO.
SHADOW. ITS A FLEABAG. IM NOT STAYING HERE.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BLOOD SAUSAGE? I HAVE SOME [RITA] YOURE NOT STAYING HERE.
HERE [PHIL] IM NOT?
[RITA] I LIKE BLOOD SAUSAGE. [RITA] NO. LARRYS DROPPING ME OFF. I BOOKED YOU A
THEY SAY ITS GONE NICE BED AND BREAKFASTON CHERRY STREET.
THAT DONT MEAN A THING [PHIL] GREAT. YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS IS ONE OF
CAUSE IM THE ONE THETRAITS OF A REALLY GOOD PRODUCER. KEEP THE
THAT MOVES THE SUN TALENT HAPPY.
FOR YOU, ILLTURN IT INTO SPRING [RITA] ANYTHING I CAN DO.
SO WHEN YOURE FEELING LONELY, TRY TO UNDERSTAND [PHIL] WOULD YOU HELP ME WITH MY PELVIC TILT?
BABY, [RITA] WITHIN REASON. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO
I CAN WARM YOU UP, CAUSE IM YOUR WEATHERMAN DINNER WITH LARRY AND ME?
JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN [PHIL] NO, THANK YOU. I VE SEEN LARRY EAT. YOU GET
JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN YOUR SLEEP. ILL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
CAUSE IM YOUR WEATHERMAN [RITA] DONT BE LATE.
JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN [LARRY] DID HE ACTUALLY CALL HIMSELF THE TALENT?
JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN [RADIO] Then put your little hand in mine
Cause there aint no hill or mountain we cant climb Babe [PHIL] MORNING.
I got you, babe [MAN] YOU OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG?
I got you, babe [PHIL] YES, I AM.
Deejay#1: Okay, campers, rise and shine! [MAN] YOU THINK IT WILL BE AN EARLY SPRING?
And dont forget your booties, cause its cold out there! Deejay#2: [PHIL] IM PREDICTING MARCH 21.
Its cold out there every day. [MAN] GOOD GUESS. I THINK THAT ACTUALLY IS THE
You can expect hazardous travel later today with that blizzard thing. FIRST DAY OF SPRING.
Oh, that blizzard thing. [MRS.LANCASTER] DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MR.CONNORS?
Oh, well, heres the report. [PHIL] I SLEPT ALONE, MRS.LANCASTER.
The National Weather Service [MRS.LANCASTER] WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE?
is calling for a big blizzard thing. [PHIL] IS THERE ANY POSSIBILITY OF GETTING AN
Yes, but theres another reason ESPRESSO OR CAPPUCCINO?
why today is especially exciting. Especially cold. [MRS.LANCASTER] OHI REALLY DONT KNOW, UM
But the big question on everybodys lips Phil whispering:HOW TO SPELLESPRESSO THIS
Yeah, their chapped lips. LOOKS FINE.
Right. [MRS.LANCASTER] I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FESTIVITIES.
Do you think Phil will come out and see his shadow? [PHIL] IM SURE IM GOING TO.
Punxsutawney Phil! [MRS.LANCASTER] THERES TALK OF A BLIZZARO.
Thats right, woodchuck chuckers. [PHIL] THAT BLIZZARO MIGHT BLOW RIGHT BY US.
Both: Its Groundhog Day! ALL OF THIS MOISTURE COMING UP OUT OF THE SOUTH
Get up and chuck that hog out there! WILLPROBABLY PUSH ON TO THE EAST OF US CRYSTALIZE,
men snorting like hogs AND GIVE US SOME SNOW. PROBABLY BE SOME
[MAN] MORNING. ACCUMULATION.
BUT HERE IN PUNXSUTAWNEY NEED LENOSE NED. NED THE HEAD.
OUR HIGH WILL GET UP TO ABOUT 30 TODAY. TEENS COME ON, BUDDY. CASE WESTERN HIGH.
TONIGHT. I DID THE WHISTLING BELLYBUTTON TRICK AT THE HIGH
CHANCE OF PRECIPITATION ABOUT 20% TODAY. 20% SCHOOL TALENT SHOW.
TOMORROW. BING! NED RYERSON.
WERE YOU JUST MAKING CHITCHAT? GOT THE SHINGLESS REAL BAD SENIOR YEAR. ALMOST
[MRS.LANCASTER] CHITCHAT. DIDNT GRADUATE.
[PHIL] SEE YOU LATER. GOOD-BYE. BING AGAIN!
[MRS.LANCASTER] WILL YOU BE CHECKING OUT TODAY, I DATED YOUR SISTER MARY PAT
MR.CONNORS? TILL YOU TOLD ME NOT TO ANYMORE.
[PHIL] CHANCE OF DEPARTURE TODAY, 100%. WELL?
[NED] PHIL? [PHIL] NED RYERSON?
HEY, PHIL? [NED] BING!
PHIL? [PHIL] BING.
PHIL CONNORS? SO DID YOU TURN PRO
I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU. WITH THAT BELLYBUTTON THING, NED?
HOW YOU DOING? [NED] NO, I SELL INSURANCE.
[PHIL] THANKS FOR WATCHING. [PHIL] WHAT A SHOCK.
[NED] DONT TELL ME YOU DONT REMEMBER ME [NED] DO YOU HAVE LIFE INSURANCE?
BECAUSE I SURE AS HECK-FIRE REMEMBER YOU. CAUSE YOU COULD ALWAYS USE MORE.
[PHIL] NOT A CHANCE. AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?
[NED] NED! [PHIL] NED, I WOULD LOVE TO STAND HERE AND TALK
RYERSON! WITH YOU BUT IM NOT GOING TO. SEE YOU.
[NED] THATS ALL RIGHT. ILL WALK WITH YOU. ITS NOW NUMBER ONE
YOU KNOW, WHENEVER I SEE AN OPPORTUNITY NOW I ITS GOING TO ENTERTAIN YA**
CHARGE IT LIKE A BULL. Rita: HEY, PHIL! PHIL, OVER HERE. WHERE HAVE YOU
NED THE BULL, THATS ME NOW. BEEN?
FRIENDS OF MINE LIVE AND DIE BY THE ACTUARIAL [PHIL] IT WAS HORRIBLE. A GIANT LEECH GOT ME.
TABLES. [RITA] YOURE MISSING ALL THE FUN. THESE PEOPLE ARE
I SAY, HEY, ITS ALL ONE BIG CRAP SHOOT. GREAT. SOME OF THEM HAVE BEEN PARTYING ALL
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SINGLE PREMIUM LIFE? NIGHT.THEY SING TILL THEY GET COLD THEN THEY GO SIT
BECAUSE THAT COULD BE THE TICKET FOR YOU. BY THE FIRE THEN THEY COME BACK AND SING SOME
OH, GOD! IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. WHAT ARE YOU MORE.
DOING FOR DINNER? [PHIL] YEAH. THEYRE HICKS, RITA. SO, YOU SLEEP OKAY
[PHIL] SOMETHING ELSE. WITHOUT ME? YOU TOSSED AND TURNED, DIDNT YOU?
ITS BEEN GREAT SEEING YOU, NEEDLEHEAD. TAKE CARE. [RITA] YOURE INCREDIBLE.
snickering [PHIL] WHO TOLD YOU?
[NED] WATCH OUT FOR THAT FIRST STEP. ITS A DOOZY. ( crowd cheering )
polka music playing [RITA] OKAY. ITS GROUNDHOG TIME.
**STRIKE UP THE MUSIC [PHIL] OKAY, ON ME IN THREE
THE BAND HAS BEGUN TWO ONE
THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA ONCE A YEAR, THE EYES OF THE NATION
PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER TURN TO THIS TINY HAMLET IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA
AND JOIN IN THE FUN TO WATCH A MASTER AT WORK.
THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA THE MASTER?
IT STARTED IN SCRANTON PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL
THE WORLDS MOST FAMOUS WEATHERMAN, THE I DEFINITELY SEE A SHADOW.
GROUNDHOG WHO, ( moans and boos )
AS LEGEND HAS IT SORRY, FOLKS.
CAN PREDICT THE COMING OF AN EARLY SPRING. SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER.
SO I GUESS THE QUESTION ( booing )
WE HAVE TO ASK OURSELVES TODAY IS: [PHIL] ON ME IN TREE
DOES PHIL FEEL LUCKY? TWOONE
Phil: ITS THE SAME SHTICK EVERY YEAR. THIS IS ONE TIME WHERE TELEVISION
THE GUY RAPS ON THE DOOR. REALLY FAILS TO CAPTURE THE TURE EXCITEMENT OF A
THEY PULL THE LITTLE RAT OUT LARGE SQUIRREL PREDICTING THE WEATHER.
THEY TALK TO HIM, HE TALKS BACK. I, FOR ONE, AM VERY GRATEFUL TO HAVE BEEN HERE.
THEN THEY TELL US WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN. FROM PUNXSUTAWNEY, THIS IS PHIL CONNORS.
[Rita] OH, ISNT HE CUTE? SO LONG.
[PHIL] HEY, DO YOU LIKE YOUR GUYS WITH PROMINENT [RITA] WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN WITHOUT THE SARCASM?
UPPER TEETH? [PHIL] WE GOT IT. IM OUT OF HERE.
[RITA] NO. [LARRY] PRIMA DONNAS.
[Man] THIS FEBRUARY 2nd [LARRY] BOY, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
AT 7:20 AND 30 SECONDS, PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL [PHIL] WHAT IS GOING ON?
THE SEER OF SEERS [LARRY] I DONT KNOW, PHIL.
PROGNOSTICATOR OF PROGNOSTICATORS PERHAPS ITS THAT BLIZZARD WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO
EMERGED, RELUCTANTLY BUT ALERTLY GET.
IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA [PHIL] THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.
AND STATED IN GROUNDHOG-ESE ( honks horn )
[LARRY] HEY, HEY! NOBODY HONKS THIS HORN BUT ME, IS IT SNOWING IN SPACE?
OKAY, PAL? DONT YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF A LINE
[PHIL] NO! NO! THAT YOU KEEP OPEN FOR EMERGENCIES
(horn honking) OR FOR CELEBRITIES?
[MAN] YOU GOT TO TAKE THIS RIG OUT OF HERE. IM BOTH. IM A CELEBRITY IN AN EMERGENCY. CAN YOU
[PHIL] HEY, COMMANDER, WHATS GOING ON? PATCH ME THROUGH ON THAT LINE, PLEASE? ( thud )
[POLICE] WERE CLOSING THE ROAD. BIG BLIZZARD COULD I HAVE ONE MORE OF THESE
MOVING IN. WITH SOME BOOZE IN IT, PLEASE?
[PHIL] WHAT BLIZZARD? ITS A COUPLE OF FLAKES. OOH, I LIKE IT HERE.
[POLICE] DONT YOU LISTEN TO THE WEATHER? WE GOT A [RITA] PHIL, YOU GOING TO THE GROUNDHOG DINNER?
MAJOR STORM. [PHIL] NO, I HAD GROUNDHOG FOR LUNCH.
[PHIL] I MAKE THE WEATHER. WASNT BAD. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN. YOU TWO RUN
ALL OF THIS MOISTURE COMING UP OUT OF THE GULF ALONG.
WILL PUSH OFF TO THE EAST AND HIT ALTOONA. WOW, LARRY, LOOKING FOXY TONIGHT, MAN.
[POLICE] PAL, YOU GOT THAT MOISTURE ON YOUR HEAD. HEY, IS YOUR TROOP GOING TO BE SELLING COOKIES
YOU CAN GO BACK TO PUNXSUTAWNEY OR YOU CAN AGAIN
FREEZE TO DEATH. ITS YOUR CHOICE. SO WHATS IT THIS YEAR?
GOING TO BE? [LARRY] THATS SO FUNNY, PHIL.
(horns honking, sirens wailing ) [RITA] WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
[PHIL] IM THINKING. [PHIL] UH I THINK IM GOING TO GO BACK TO MY ROOM
COME ON. AND TAKE A HOT SHOWER AND MAYBE READ HUSTLER OR
ALL THE LONG DISTANCE LINES ARE DOWN? SOMETHING.
WHAT ABOUT THE SATELLITE? [RITA] SUIT YOURSELF.
( yelling ) chapped lips.
[PHIL] YO, MOM, ISNT THERE ANY HOT WATER? Right. Do you think Phil will come out and see his shadow?
[MRS.LANCASTER] OH, NO, THERE WOULDNT BE TODAY. Punxsutawney Phil!
[PHIL] OF COURSE NOT. SILLY ME. Thats right, woodchuck chuckers.
[MRS.LANCASTER] SWEET DREAMS. Both: Its Groundhog Day!
[RADIO] **Then put your little hand in mine Get up and chuck that hog out there!
Cause there aint no hill or mountain we cant climb Babe men snorting like hogs
I got you, babe [PHIL] WHAT THE HELL?
I got you, babe** [MAN] MORNING! OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG?
Deejay #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine! [PHIL] YEAH.
And dont forget your booties, cause its cold out there! [MAN] THINK IT WELL BE AN EARLY SPRING?
Deejay #2: Its cold out there every day. [PHIL] DIDNT WE DO THIS YESTERDAY?
[PHIL] NICE GOING, BOYS. [MAN] I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.screams
YOURE PLAYING YESTERDAYS TAPE. [PHIL] DONT MESS WITH ME, PORK CHOP. WHAT DAY IS
Deejay #1: with that blizzard thing. THIS?
Oh, that blizzard thing. [MAN] ITS FEBRUARY 2, GROUNDHOG DAY.
Oh, well, heres the report. [PHIL] YEAH. SORRY. YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WAS
The National Weather Service YESTERDAY.
is calling for a big blizzard thing. [MAN] OH.
Yes, but theres another reason (nervous laughter)
why today is especially exciting. [MRS. LANCASTER] DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MR. CONNORS?
Especially cold. [PHIL] DID I SLEEP WELL?
But the big question on everybodys lipsCHAPPED LIPS. [MRS. LANCASTER] WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CDFFEE?
[PHIL] YES, PLEASE. I THINK ILL HAVE A DOUBLE. HOWS IT GOING, OLD BUDDY?
[MRS. LANCASTER] I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FESTIVITIES. [PHIL] TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, NEDDY IM NOT FEELING
THERES TALK OF A BLIZZARD. REAL WELL.
[PHIL] DO YOU EVER HAVE DEJA VU, MRS. LANCASTER? [NED] ITS FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION YOUR HEALTH.
[MRS. LANCASTER] I DOT THINK SO BUT I COULD CHECK YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT I DO NOW.
WITH THE KITCHEN. [PHIL] DO YOU SELL INSURANCE?
[PHIL] NO, THATS OKAY. THANK YOU. [NED] HO-HO, BING AGAIN! YOU ARE SHARP AS A TACK
[MRS. LANCASTER] WILL YOU BE CHECKING OUT TODAY, TODAY. DO YOU HAVE LIFE INSURANCE? BECAUSE IF YOU
MR. CONNORS? DO YOU COULD ALWAYS USE A LITTLE MORE. BUT YOU
[PHIL] ID SAY THE CHANCE OF DEPARTURE IS 80%. 75, 80 WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING? I GOTS A FEELING
EXCUSE ME. (whistles)
EXCUSE ME. YOU AINT GOT ANY.
WHERES EVERYBODY GOING? AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?
[WOMAN] TO GOBBLERS KNOB. ITS GROUNDHOG DAY. [PHIL] I GOT TO GO.
[PHIL] ITS STILL JUST ONCE A YEAR, ISNT IT? [NED] PHIL!
[NED] HEY! PHIL? (snickering)
PHIL? HEY! [NED] WATCH OUT FOR THAT FIRST STEP.
PHIL CONNORS. I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU. ITS A DOOZY.
MY, OH, MY, PHIL CONNORS. (laughing)
NOW DONT YOU SAY YOU DONT REMEMBER ME (polka music playing)
BECAUSE I SURE AS HECK-FIRE REMEMBER YOU. WELL? **STRIKE UP THE MUSIC
[PHIL] NED RYERSON? THE BAND HAS BEGUN
[NED] BING! OH, FIRST SHOT, RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX. SO, THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA
PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER I REALLY FEEL WEIRD.
AND JOIN IN THE FUN [RITA] LETS JUST DO THIS, PHIL, THEN WELL TALK.
THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA [PHIL] ALL-RIGHT. ON ME IN THREETWO,ONE
IT STARTED IN SCRANTON Well, its Groundhog Day again
ITS NOW NUMBER ONE** and that must mean
[Rita] PHIL! PHIL, OVER HERE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? that were up here at Gobblers knob
[PHIL] RITA, DO ME A FAVOR? I NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE waiting for the forecast
ME A GOOD, HARD SLAP IN THE FACE. from the worlds most famous groundhog weatherman
[RITA] HOWS THAT? Punxsutawney Phil, whos just about to tell us how much
[PHIL] GOOD. more winter we can expect.
[LARRY] IF YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH THE OTHER CHEEK (crowd chanting:) PHIL! PHIL! PHIL!
IM RIGHT HERE. [RITA] THIS IS A RIOT. OH, ISNT HE CUTE?
[PHIL] SOMETHINGS GOING ON. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO [MAN] THIS FEBRUARY 2, AT 7:20 AND 30 SECONDS
DO. PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL, THE SEER OF SEERS
[RITA] ARE YOU DRUNK? PROGNOSTICATOR OF PROGNOSTICATORS EMERGED
[PHIL] DRUNKS MORE FUN. CAN I BE SERIOUS FOR A RELUCTANTLY
MINURE? [RITA] PHIL!
[RITA] I DONT KNOW. CAN YOU? [MAN] BUT ALERTLY IN
[PHIL] YES, IM BEING SERIOUS. IM HAVING A PROBLEM. (PHIL yelling)
I MAY BE HAVING A PROBLEM. OH, MY GOSH!
[LARRY] RITA, RITA YEAH, SPORT, I KNOW THERES A BLIZZARD.
[RITA] ITS GROUNDHOG TIME. WHEN ARE. THE LONG DISTANCE LINES GOING TO BE
[PHIL] SEE, I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT. REPAIRED?
WELL, WHAT IF THERE IS NO TOMORROW? WORK-RELATED?
THERE WASNT ONE TODAY. [Larry] HEY
HELLO? [PHIL] ITS A CREATIVE MEETING.
(dial tone) [RITA] WEVE GOT WORK TO DO.
HELLO?! [PHIL] IVE ALREADY DONE IT TWICE.
[RADIO] **Then put your little hand in mine WHEN YOU GET FINISHED, MEET ME IN THE DINER.
Cause there aint no hill or mountain we cant climb Babe [RITA] PHIL
I got you, babe [LARRY] WHATS THAT ALL ABOUT?
I got you, babe** [RITA] I DONT KNOW.
[MAN] MORNING! OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG? [LARRY] PRIMA DONNAS.
[MRS. LANCASTER] OH, DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MISTER..? [WAITRESS] MORE COFFEE, HON?
[PHIL] GOD! [RITA] JUST A CHECK, PLEASE.
[NED] HEY! THESE STICKY BUNS ARE JUST HEAVEN.
PHIL? [WAITRESS] ARENT THEY?
WELL, HEY, PHIL, DONT SAY YOU DONT REMEMBER ME (loud clattering)
BECAUSE I SURE AS HECK-FIRE REMEMBER YOU. [Gus] REAL NICE.
ITS ME, NEDRYERSON. JUST PUT THAT ANYWHERE, PAL, YEAH.
NEEDLENOSE NED, NED THE HEAD. [Ralph] GOOD SAVE.
COME ON, BUDDY. [RITA] OKAY, NOW TELL ME WHY YOURE TOO SICK TO
CASE WESTERNHEY, LOOK WORK.
**PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER AND JOIN IN THE FUN** [PHIL] RITA, IM RELIVING THE SAME DAY OVER AND
[Rita] PHIL! OVER HERE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? OVER. GROUNDHOG DAY, TODAY.
[PHIL] CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT A MATTER THAT IS NOT [RITA] OKAY, IM WAITING FOR THE PUNCH LINE.
[PHIL] NO, REALLY. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME. [RITA] PHIL, I THINK YOU NEED HELP.
ITS LIKE YESTERDAY NEVER HAPPENED. THATS WHAT I VE BEEN SAYING, RITA. I NEED HELP.
[RITA] I CANT BEGIN TO IMAGINE WHY YOUD MAKE UP [DICTOR] WELL, NO SPOTS, NO CLOTS
SOMETHING LIKE THIS. NO TUMORS, NO LESIONS, NO ANEURYSMS...
[PHIL] IM NOT MAKING IT UP. I AM ASKING YOU FOR HELP. AT LEAST, NONE THAT I CAN SEE.
[RITA] OKAY. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? IF YOU WANT A CAT SCAN OR AN M.R.I. YOURE GOING TO
[PHIL] I DONT KNOW. YOURE A PRODUCER. HAVE TO GO INTO PITTSBURGH.
COME UP WITH SOMETHING. [PHIL] I CANT GO INTO PITTSBURGH.
[RITA] YOU SHOULD GET YOUR HEAD EXAMINED. [DICTOR] WHY CANT YOU GO INTO PITTSBURGH?
IF YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE A STUPID STORY LIKE [PHIL] I TOLD YOU. THERES A BLIZZARD.
THAT, PHIL. [DICTOR] OH, RIGHT. THE BLIZZARD.
[MAN] PHIL? LIKE THE GROUNDHOG PHIL? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MAY NEED?
[PHIL] YEAH, LIKE THE GROUNDHOG PHIL. [PHIL] A BIOPSY.
[MAN] LOOK OUT. FOR YOUR SHADOW THERE, PAL. [DICTOR] A PSYCHIATRIST.
[PHIL] MORONS, YOUR BUS IS LEAVING. THATS AN UNUSUAL PROBLEM, MR. CONNORS. MOST OF
[LARRY] WE BETTER GET GOING IF WERE GOING TO STAY MY WORK IS WITH COUPLES, FAMILIES I HAVE AN
AHEAD OF THE WEATHER. ALCOHOLIC NOW.
[RITA] LETS TALK ABOUT IT BACK IN PITTSBURGH. [PHIL] YOU WENT TO COLLEGE, RIGHT?
[PHIL] IM NOT GOING BACK TO PITTSBURGH. IT WASNT VETERINARY PSYCHOLOGY, WAS IT? DIDNT
[Rita] WHY NOT? YOU TAKE SOME KIND OF COURSE THAT COVERED THIS
[PHIL] BECAUSE OF THE BLIZZARD. STUFF?
[RITA] YOU SAID THAT WAS GOING TO HIT ALTOONA. [PSYCHIATRIST] YEAH, SORT OF, I GUESS, UH
[PHIL] I KNOW THATS WHAT I SAID. ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY.
[PHIL] SO YOU GOT TO JIGGLE IT.
WHAT DO I DO? [GUS] COME ON UP HERE, PAL.
[PSYCHIATRIST] I THINK WE SHOULD MEET AGAIN. COME ON, GIVE ME YOUR KEYS.
HOWS TOMORROW FOR YOU? GIVE ME THE KEYS.
IS THAT NOT GOOD? FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS DRIVE, RIGHT?
[PHIL] I WAS IN THE VIRGIN ISLANDS ONCE. TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
I MET A GIRL, WE ATE LOBSTER, DRANK PINA COLADAS. YOU FEEL OKAY?
AT SUNSET, WE MADE LOVE LIKE SEA OTTERS. REALLY?
THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD DAY. OKAY, YOURE ALL RIGHT.
WHY COULDNT I GET THAT DAY OVER AND OVER AND [RULPH] UH-OH.
OVER? [PHIL] WHOA!
[GUS] YOU KNOW, SOME GUYS WOULD LOOK AT THIS YOU WANT TO THROW UP HERE OR IN THE CAR?
GLASS AND SAY, THAT GLASS IS HALF-EMPTY. [RULPH] I THINKBOTH.
OTHER GUYS WOULD SAY THAT GLASS IS HALF-FULL. [PHIL] COME ON.
I PEG YOU AS A GLASS IS HALF-EMPTY KIND OF GUY. [GUS] I DONT THINK I SHOULD BE DRIVING.
AM I RIGHT? [PHIL] NO, NO. I DONT EITHER.
[PHIL] WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE STUCK IN ONE WATCH YOUR HEAD.
PLACE AND EVERY DAY WAS EXACTLY THE SAME. NOW, WATCH YOUR KNEES.
AND NOTHING THAT YOU DID MATTERED? ALL RIGHT. LETS NOT FORGET THE SEAT BELTS.
[RALPH] THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP FOR ME. [RALPH] HEY, WHO ELSE COULD GO FOR SOME FLAPJACKS
[RALPH] GOOD LUCK. RIGHT NOW?
ILL DROP YOU OFF. [PHIL] LET ME ASK YOU GUYS A QUESTION.
THIS THING STICKS A LITTLE BIT. [Ralph] SHOOT.
[PHIL] WHAT IF THRER WERE NO TOMORROW? YOU JUST HAVE TO TAKE THE BIG CHANCES.
NO TOMORROW? This is the police.
[GUS] THAT WOULD MEAN THERE WOULD BE NO Pull over immediately.
CONSEQUENCES. [GUS] HEY, WERE TALKING IN HERE. UH, PHIL
THERE WOULD BE NO HANGOVERS. [PHIL] YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WE COULD DO WHATEVER WE WANTED. IM BETTING HES GOING TO SWERVE FIRST.
[PHIL] THATS TRUE. [GUS] PHIL
WE COULD DO WHATEVER WE WANT. [PHIL] IM NOT GOING TO LIVE BY THEIR RULES
[GUS] IF WE WANTED TO HIT MAILBOXES, WE COULD LET ANYMORE.
RALPH DRIVE. [RALPH] I NOTICED THAT.
(siren wailing) [PHIL] YOU MAKE CHOICES, AND TOU LIVE WITH THEM.
[GUS] OH, HEY, HEY, PHIL. THEY WANT YOU TO STOP. UH-OH!
[PHIL] HANG ON. [GUS] OH, OH, OH. MY KNEE.
Phil: ITS THE SAME THING YOUR WHOLE LIFE. CLEAN UP [PHIL] LET ME HANDLE THIS.
YOUR ROOM. YEAH, THREE CHEESEBURGERS, TWO LARGE FRIES TWO
PICK UP YOUR FEET. CHOCOLATE SHAKES, AND ONE LARGE COKE.
TAKE IT LIKE A MAN. [RALPH] AND SOME FLAPJACKS.
BE NICE TO YOUR SISTER. [PHIL] TOO EARLY FOR FLAPJACKS?
DONT MIX BEER AND WINE. **Then put your little hand in mine
OH, YEAH. Cause there aint no hill or mountain we cant climb**
DONT DRIVE ON THE RAILROAD TRACKS. WELL, [PHIL] YES! OH, RISE AND SHINE, CAMPERS.
[GUS] THATS ONE I HAPPEN TO AGREE WITH. DONT FORGET YOUR BOOTLES CAUSE ITS COLD OUT
[PHIL] I DONT KNOW, GUS. SOMETIMES, I THINK THERE TODAY. WHAT IS THIS, MIAMI BEACH? NOT HARDLY.
[MRS. LANCASTER] OH, I. [WAITRESS] SURE THING.
[PHIL] SLEPT LIKE A BABY, THANK YOU. (clattering)
ID LOVE SOME OF YOUR COFFEE, PLEASE. [GUS] REAL NICE.
[MRS.LANCASTER] I HOPE JUST PUT THAT ANYWHERE, PAL, YEAH.
[PHIL] FLURRIES MOVING IN A BIT LATER BUT THE [Ralph] GOOD SAVE.
BLIZZARDS GOING TO HIT OUTSIDE OF TOWN. WAS [RITA] DONT YOU WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL LUNG
ANYBODY LOOKING FOR ME? CANCER, LOVE HANDLES?
A STATE OFFICIAL, MAYBE A BLUE HAT, GUN, NIGHTSTICK? [PHIL] I DONT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE.
[MRS.LANCASTER] OH, NO. NO ONE LIKE THAT. WILL [RITA] WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL? EVERYBODY
THERE BE? WORRIES.
[PHIL] APPARENTLY NOT. WILL YOU HOLD MY ROOM, [PHIL] THATS EXACTLY WHAT MAKES ME SO SPECIAL. I
PLEASE? DONT EVEN HAVE TO FLOSS.
IM GOING TO STAY AN EXTRA DAY. [RITA] OH!
CATCH YOU TOMORROW, HUH, POP. [PHIL] WHAT?
[NED] HEYPHIL? PHIL? HEY, PHIL CONNORS! [RITA] THE WRETCH, CONCENTERED ALL IN SELF.
[PHIL] NED! LIVING, SHALL FORFEIT FAIR RENOWN AND DOUBLY
[RITA] I LIKE TO SEE A MAN OF ADVANCING YEARS DYING, SHALL GO DOWN
THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND. ITS INSPIRING, IN A TO THE VILE DUST, FROM WHENCE HE SPRUNG UNWEPT,
WAY. UNHONORED AND UNSUNG.
[PHIL] MY YEARS ARE NOT ADVANCING AS FAST AS YOU SIR WALTER SCOTT.
MIGHT THINK. YOU DONT LIKE POETRY?
[WAITRESS] MORE COFFEE, HON? [PHIL] I LOVE POETRY.
[PHIL] YEAH. KEEP IT COMING, PLEASE. I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS WILLARD SCOTT.
DO YOU THINK IM ACTING LIKE THIS [PHIL] IN 12th GRADE, YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER WAS
BECAUSE IM EGOCENTRIC? [NANCY] MRS. WALSH.
[RITA] I KNOW YOURE EGOCENTRIC. [PHIL] MRS. WALSH. NANCY. LINCOLN. WALSH.
[LARRY] WE BETTER GET GOING OKAY, THANKS VERY MUCH.
IF WERE GOING TO STAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER. [NANCY] HEY
[RITA] THANKS, LARRY. HEY!
WOULD YOU LIKE A DOGGIE BAG? [RADIO] STRIKE UP THE MUSIC
[PHIL] NO, IM GOING TO FINISH. THE BAND HAS BEGUN
[RITA] I THOUGHT YOU HATED THIS TOWN. THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA
[PHIL] NO ITS BEGINNING TO GROW ON ME. [PHIL] NANCY? NANCY TAYLOR? LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL.
[PHIL] LARRY, QUIT STARING. THESE ARE EXCELLENT. I SAT NEXT TO YOU IN MRS. WALSH ENGLISH CLASS.
[RITA] BON APPETIT. [NANCY] OH. IM SORRY
Phil meets Nancy [PHIIL] PHIL CONNORS.
[PHIL] DID YOU SEE THE GROUNDHOG THIS MORNING? [NANCY] WOW, THATS AMAZING.
[NANCY] UH-HUH. I NEVER MISS IT. [PHIL] YOU DONT REMEMBER ME, DO YOU?
[PHIL] WHATS YOUR NAME? [NANCY] UM
[NANCY] NANCY TAYLOR. AND YOU ARE? [PHIL] I EVEN ASK YOU TO THE PROM.
[PHIL] WHAT HIGH SCHOOL DID YOU GO TO? [NANCY] PHIL CONNORS?
[NANCY] WHAT? [PHIL] I WAS SHORT, AND IVE SPROUTED.
[PHIL] HIGH SCHOOL. [NANCY] YEAH GOSH, HOW ARE YOU?
[NANCY] LINCOLN IN PITTSBURGH. WHO ARE YOU? [PHIL] GREAT. YOU LOOK TERRIFIC. YOU LOOK VERY, VERY
[PHIL] WHO WAS YOUR 12th GRADE ENGLISH TEACHER? TERRIFIC. LISTEN, I GOT TO GO DO THIS REPORT.
[NANCY] ARE YOU KIDDING? [NANCY] ARE YOU A REPORTER?
[PHIL] IM A WEATHERMAN WITH CHANNEL 9 PITTSBURGH. A DOG BARKS.
[NANCY] WOW! GOSH, I SHOULD HAVE KNOW. THATS (dog barking)
GREAT. CUE THE TRUCK.
[PHIL] MAYBE LATEER WE COULD EXIT HERMAN.
[NANCY] YEAH, WHATEVER. WALK INTO THE BANK.
[PHIL] STAY RIGHT HERE. YOU PROMISE ME? EXIT FELIX AND STAND THERE.
[NANCY] YES. WITH A NOT-SO-BRIGHT LOOK ON YOU FACE
[PHIL] ILL BE BACK. WISH ME LUCK. ALL RIGHT, DORIS.
[NANCY] GOOD LUCK! COME ON.
[NANCY] OH, PHIL! OH, PHIL! FIX YOUR BAR, HONEY.
[PHIL] OH, RITA. THATS BETTER.
[NANCY] WHOS RITA? FELIX.
[PHIL] HOW SHOULD I KNOW? HOW YOU DOING, DORIS?
[NANCY] WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF ONE-NIGHT STAND? CAN I HAVE A ROLL OF QUARTERS?
[PHIL] ON THE CONTRARY, NANCY. I LOVE YOU. IVE TEN
ALWAYS LOVED YOU. THIS IS GOING TO SEEM SUDDEN, NINE
BUT NANCY, WILL YOU BE MY WIFE? EIGHT
[NANCY] OH, PHIL. CAR
[PHIL] RITA SIX
[NANCY] NANCY. FIVE
[PHIL] WHATEVER. QUARTERS
THREE
[PHIL] A GUST OF WIND. TWO
[HERMAN] FELIX, DID I BRING OUT TWO BAGS OR ONE? [RITA] I DONT KNOW, PHIL. WHAT ARE YOU DYING FOR?
[FILIX] I DONT KNOW. [PHIL] NO I MEAN, THE WHOLE WORLD IS ABOUT TO
(spurs jingling) EXPLODE. WHAT DO YOU DO?
[GIRL] I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO A COSTUME PARTY. [RITA] ID JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE TO PUT THE
(imitating Clint Eastwood: ) CARMRA. WHAT ARE YOU LOIOKING FOR? A DATE FOR THE
[PHIL] ITS LIKE I SAID. I LOVE THIS FILM. IVE SEEN IT WEEKEND?
OVER 100 TIMES. [PHIL] NO. IM JUST INTERESTED IN YOU.
[GIRL] PHIIL! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
[PHIL] TOLD YOU, CALL ME BRONCO. WHAT DO YOU LIKE?
[GIRL] SORRT, BRONCO. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT?
[PHIL] HI YA, NANCY. MY OWN FIANCE DOESNT WHAT KIND OF MEN ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?
REMEMBER ME. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN?
WOMAN: HI. [RITA] IS THIS FOR REAL OR ARE YOR TRYING TO MAKE ME
[GIRL] HI. LOOK LIKE A FOOL?
[PHIL] THAT WILL BE ONE ADULT, AND [PHIL] I M TRYING TO TALK LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE.
[GIRL] TWO ADULTS. ISNT THIS HOW THEY TALK?
[PHIL] TWO ADULTS, I GUESS. [RITA] CLOSE.
groundhog, who, as legend has it can predict the coming of an early [PHIL] SO TALK TO ME. LET ME BUY YOU A CUP OF
spring. So I guess the question we have to ask ourselves today is does COFFIEEAND A DOUGHNUT.
Phil feel lucky? [RITA] ALL RIGHT.
GOUNDHOG. DAY#6 Phil: SO WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE, ANYWAY?
[PHIL] RITA, IF YOU ONLY HAD ONE DAY TO LIVE WHAT [RITA] I GUESS I WANT WANT EVERYBODY WANTS. YOU
WOULD YOU DO WITH IT? KNOW, CAREER, LOVE, MAGGIAGE, CHILDREN.
[PHIL] ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE? [RITA] HE LIKES ANIMALS AND CHILDREN AND HELL
[RITA] THIS IS GETTING TOO PERSONAL. I DONT THINK IM CHANGE POOPY DIAPERS.
READY TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU. HOW ABOUT YOU? [PHIL] DOES HE HAVE TO USE THE WORD POOPY?
WHAT DO YOU WANT? [RITA] OH, AND HE PLAYS AN INSTRUMENT
[PHIL] WHAT I REALLY WANT IS SOMEONE LIKE YOU. AND HE LOVES HIS MOTHER.
[RITA] OH, PLEASE. [PHIL] I AM REALLY CLOSE ON THIS ONE.
[PHIL] WELL, WHY NOT? WHAT ARE LOOKING FOR? WHO IS REALLY, REALLY CLOSE.
YOUR PERFFECT GUY? Phil & Rita - Take 1
[RITA] WELL, FIRST OF ALL HES TO HUMBLE TO KNOW [GIRL] ITS PHIL CONNORS.
HES PERFFCT. [PHIL] HELLO. THANKS FOR WATCHING.
[PHIL] THATS ME. [PHIL] SO WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF GETTING OUT
[RITA] HES INTELLIGENT, SUPPORTIVE FUNNY. TODAY?
[PHIL] INTELLIGENT, SUPPORTIVE, FUNNYME, ME, ME. [RITA] VAN STILL WONT START. LARRYS WORKING ON IT.
[RITA] HES ROMANTIC AND COURAGEOUS. [PHIL] WOULDNT YOU KNOW IT. CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?
[PHIL] ME, ALSO. [RITA] OKAY.
[RITA] A GOOD BOY. [PHIL] JIM BEAM, ICE, WATER.
BUT HE DOESNT LOOK IN THE MIRROR EVERY TWO [BARTENDER] FOR YOU, MISS?
MINUTES. [RITA] SWEET VERMOUTH ON THE ROCKS WITH A TWIST,
[PHIL] I HAVE A GREAT BODY. PLEASE.
AND SOMETIMES, I GO MONTHS WITHOUT LOOKING. Phil & Rita Take 2
[RITA] HES KIND, SENSITIVE, AND GENTLE. [PHIL] WHAT ARE THE CHANCE OF GETTING OUT OF
HES NOT AFRAID TO CRY IN FRONT OF ME. TODAY?
[PHIL] THIS IS A MAN WERE TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT? [RITA] THE VAN STILL WONT START. LARRYS WORKING
ON IT. [RITA] WHAT SHOULD WE DRINK TO?
[PHIL] WOULDNT YOU KNOW IT. CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? [PHIL] I LIKE TO SAY A PRAYER AND DRINK TO WORLD
[RITA] OKAY. PEACE
[PHIL] SWEET VERMOUTH, ROCKS, WITH A TWIST, PLEASE. [RITA] TO WORLD PEACE.
[BARTENDER] FOR YOU, MISS? [PHIL] WORLD PEACE. AMEM.
[RITA] THE SAME. THAT MY FAVORITE DRINK.
[PHIL] MINE TOO. [RITA] THIS IS WONDERFUL.
[PHIL] IT ALWAYS MAKES ME THINK OF ROME [PHIL] SEE, DONT I TELL YOU?
THE WAY THE SUN HITS THE BUILDINGS IN THE [RITA] HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT
AFTERNOON. PUNXSUTAWENY?
[RITA] OH WHAT SHOULD WE DRINK TO? [PHIL] IVE SPENT A LOT OF TIME HERE.
[PHIL] TO THE GROUNDFOG. SMALL-TOWN PEOPLE ARE MORE REAL, MORE DOWN TO
[RITA] I ALWAYS DRINK TO THE WORLD PEACE EARTH.
Phil & Rita Take 3 [RITA] THATS HOW I FELL.
[PHIL] CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? [PHIL] WOULD YOU WANT TO TRY SOME WHITE
[RITA] OKAY. CHOCOLATE?
[PHIL] SWEET VERMOUTH, ROCKS, WITH A TWIST, PLEASE. [RITA] YUCK. DONT MAKE ME SICK.
[BARTENDER] FOR YOU, MISS? [PHIL] NO WHITE CHOCOLATE,
[RITA] THE SAME. THAT MY FAVORITE DRINK. [RITA] THERE IS SOMETHING SO FAMILIAR ABOUT THIS.
[PHIL] MINE TOO. DO YOU EVER HAVE DJ VU?
[PHIL] IT ALWAYS MAKES ME THINKS OF ROME [PHIL] DIDNT YOU TUST ASK ME THAT?
THE WAY THE SUN HITS THE BUILDINGS IN THE [PHIL] I THINK PEOPLE PLACE TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON
AFTERNOON. THEIR CAREERS. I WISH WE COULD ALL LIVE IH THE
MOUNTAINS AT HIGH ALTITUDE. THATS WHERE I SEE SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
MYSELF IN FIVE YEARS. HOW ABOUT YOU? [PHIL] WELL, ITS GOTTON YOU HERE.
[RITA] OH, I AGREE. [RITA] UH-HUH. OF COURSE, ITS A MILLION MILES FROM
I JUST LIKE TO GO WITH THE FLOW. WHERE I STARTED OUT IN COLLEGE.
SEE WHERE IT LEADS ME. [PHIL] YOU WERENT IN BROADCASTING OR JOURNALISM?
[PHIL] WELL, ITS LED YOU HERE. [RITA] UH-UH. BELIEVE IT OR NOT
[RITA] MM-HMM. OF COURSE, ITS ABOUT A MILLION I STUDIED 19th-CENTURY FRENCH POETRY.
MILES FROM WHERE I STARTED OUT IN COLLEGE. [PHIL] LA FILLE QUI JAIMERAIS SERA COMME MON FRERE
[PHIL] YOU WERENT IN BROADCASTING AND (speaking French)
JOURNALISM? UN PEU, CHAQUE MATIN.
[RITA] HMM-MM. [RITA] YOU SPEAK FRENCH.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT. [PHIL] OUI.
I STUDIED 19TH-CENTURY FRENCH POETRY. [PHIL] CATCH UP. I HAVENT DONE THIS SINCE I WAS A KID.
[PHIL] WHAT A WASTE OF TIME. I MEAN, FOR SOMEONE [RITA] ME NEITHER. ITS FUN.
ELSE THAT WOULD BE AN INCREDIBLE WASTE OF TIME. IT [PHIL] ITS GOOD, CLEAN FUN.
WAS SO BOLD OF YOU TO CHOOSE THAT. ITS I HOPE THAT, ONE DAY I CAN DO THIS WITH MY OWN
INCREDIBLE.YOU MUST BE A VERY STRONG PERSON. CHILDREN.
[PHIL] I THINK PEOPLE PLACE TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON [RITA] WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
THEIR CAREERS. GOSH, I WISH WE COULD ALL LIVE IN THE [PHIL] WELL, I WENT OVER TO THE SNOWMAN SHOP. HEY,
MOUNTAINS AT HIGH ALTITUDES. THATS WHERE I SEE AN ASSASSIN!
MYSELF IN FIVE YEARS. HOW ABOUT YOU? ILL PROTECT YOU, YOUR MAJESTY.
[RITA] OH, I AGREE. I SHALL DIE FOR YOU.
I JUST LIKE TO GO WITH THE FLOW. YOU SHALL NOT TAKE HER.
FIND COVER, MY LADY. [PHIL] WHAT?
Boy: HEY, NICE ARM. [RITA] IM JUST AMAZED. AND IM NOT EASILY AMAZED.
IM GETTING SOME GOOD ONES. [PHIL] ABOUT WHAT?
HEY, THERES A BOY. [RITA] HOW YOU CAN START A DAY WITH ONE KIND OF
THATS A BOY. EXPECTATION AND END UP SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
GOOD TRY, SON. [PHIL] WELL, DO YOU LIKE THE WAY THIS DAY IS TURNING
[RITA] HELP ME. OUT?
**YOU GIVE YOUR HAND TO ME [RITA] I LIKE IT VERY MUCH.ITS A PERFECT DAY.
AND THEN YOU SAY HELLO YOU COULDNT HAVE PLANNED A DAY LIKE THIS.
AND I CAN HARDLY SPEAK [PHIL] WELL, YOU CAN. IT JUST TAKES AN AWFUL LOT OF
MY HEART IS BEATING SO WORK.COME ON IN. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
AND ANYONE CAN TELL [RITA] I DONT THINK I SHOULD.
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME WELL [PHIL] I DONT THINK YOU SHOULD, EITHER.
BUT YOU DONT KNOW ME IM GOING TO SHOW YOU THIS ONE THING
NO, YOU DONT KNOW ME AND KICK YOU RIGHT OUT.
NO, YOU DONT KNOW THE ONE [RITA] ITS JUST LOVELY.
WHO DREAMS OF YOU AT NIGHT [PHIL] WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT AND STARE AT THE FAKE
AND LONGS TO KISS YOUR LIPS FIRE?
AND LONGS TO HOLD YOU TIGHT [RITA] OKAY. ITS REALLY A WONDERFUL ROOM.
OH, IM JUST A FRIEND [PHIL] IT IS NOW.
THATS ALL IVE EVER BEEN [RITA] I DONT KNOW, PHIL. I DONT THINK WE SHOULD DO
CAUSE YOU DONT KNOW ME.** THIS.
[RITA] OH. [PHIL] I DONT, EITHER.
NO, ON SECOND THOUGH, I THINK WE SHOULD. [RITA] NO, PHIL, REALLY.
ITS THE PERFECT END TO A PERFECT DAY. [PHIL] COME ON, JUST STAY FOR A WHILE
[RITA] WELL, ITS A LITTLE FAST FOR ME. AND IF YOU LIKE IT, STAY FOR A WHILE LONGER.
[PHIL] ME TOO. [RITA] LETS NOT SPOIL IT, OKAY?
[RITA] MAYBE I SHOULD GO. [PHIL] IM NOT SPOILING IT.
[PHIL] WHERE WOULD YOU GO? I DONT WANT TO SPOIL IT, EITHER.
WHY? [RITA] YOU KNOW I CANT STAY WITH YOU.
WEVE GOT A PERFECT FIRE. [PHIL] WHY NOT?
IVE GOT SOME FRENCH POETRY HERE. I LOVE YOU.
BAUDELAIRE? [RITA] YOU LOVE ME?
CEST FANTASTIQUE. [PHIL] I LOVE YOU.
I WELL READ TO YOU. [RITA] YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME.
IVE GOT SOME ICE CREAM OVER ON THIS WINDOWSILL. [PHIL] OH I KNOW YOU.
HOLD ON A MINUTE. I KNOW YOU.
ROCKY ROAD. [RITA] OH, NO. I CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THIS. THIS
[RITA] OH, I LOVE ROCKY ROAD. WHOLE DAY HAS JUST BEEN ONE LONG SETUP.
[PHIL] YEAH, I THOUGHT SO. [PHIL] NO, IT HASNT.
YOU HAVE TO STAY. [RITA] AND I HATE FUDGE.
[RITA] NO, REALLY,PHIL, IM TIRED. YUCK
WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER TOMORROW. [PHIL] NO WHITE CHOCOLATE, NO FUDGE.
[PHIL] NO. [RITA] ARE YOU MAKING SOME KIND OF LIST OR
TONIGHT. SOMETHING?
ITS GOT TO BE TONIGHT. DID YOU CALL UP MY FRIENDS AND ASK
WHAT I LIKE AND DONT LIKE? I WISH THESE WERE MY OWN KIDS HITTING ME LIKE THAT.
IS THIS WHAT LOVE IS FOR YOU? HEY!
[PHIL] NO, THIS IS REAL. OW, OW! ARE ANY OF YOU ADOPTION?
[RITA] STOP SAYING THAT. HERES A HUMDINGER OVER HERE.
YOU MUST BE CRAZY. WASNT THAT GREAT?
I COULD NEVER LOVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU [RITA] STOP IT.
BECAUSE YOULL NEVER LOVE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. **STRIKE UP THE MUSIC
[PHIL] I DONT EVEN LIKE MYSELF. THE BAND HAS BEGUN**
GIVE MA ANOTHER CHANCE. Rita: PHIL, OVER HERE.
[RITA] THATS FOR MAKING ME CARE ABOUT YOU. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
[PHIL] I HAVENT DONE THIS SINCE I WAS A KID. YOURE MISSING ALL THE FUN.
[RITA] ME NEITHER. PHIL, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.
ITS FUN. WHAT HAPPENED? ROUGH NIGHT?
[PHIL] AND GOOD, CLEAN FUN TOO. [PPIL] [PHIL] YEAH.
GOSH, I CANT WAIT TO DO THIS WITH MY OWN CHILDREN. OKAY, CAMPERS, RISE AND SHINE.
I WANT KIDS, LOTS OF KIDS. AND DONT FORGET YOUR BOOTIES
I WANT TO ADOPT. CAUSE ITS COLD OUT THERE TODAY.
I WANT TO HAVE MY OWN KIDS. ITS COLD OUT THERE EVERY DAY.
I WANT TO HAVE FOSTER KIDS. Alex TrebekThis countrys largest lake, Chapala is
HEY, SOME KID JUST THREW A SNOWBALL AT US. located near the city
LETS HAVE SOME FUN. of Guadalajara,
COME ON. [PHIL] WHAT IS MEXICO?
HEY KIDS, COME ON. What is Mexico?
Lakes and Rivers, 400. USED TO MEAN SOMETHING IN THIS TOWN.
Seneca is the largest of these lakesWHAT THEY USED TO PULL THE HOG OUT AND EAT IT.YOURE
[PHIL] ARE THE FINGER LAKES? HYPOCRITES, ALL OF YOU!
What are the Finger Lakes? YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH WHAT IM SAYING, LARRY?
Correct. UNTIE YOUR TONGUE.
This South American lake drains into COME HERE AND TALK.
[PHIL] WHAT IS TITICACA? AM I UPSETTING YOU
What is Titicaca? PRINCESS?
Correct. YOU KNOW, YOU WANT A PREDICTION ABOUT THE
Lakes and Rivers WEATHER YOURE ASKING THE WRONG PHIL.
for 1000. ILL GIVE YOU A WINTER PREDICTION.
Milky colored ITS GOING TO BE COLD
[PHIL] WHAT IS THE RHONE? ITS GOING TO BE GRAY
this river is blue upon exiting. What is the AND ITS GOING TO LAST YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR
Rhone? LIFE.
The Rhone, good, for $1,000. Then put your little hand in mine
You are $500 off the lead. clattering
[PHIL] VERY GOOD. Then put your little hand in mine
THIS IS PITIFUL. Cause there aint no hill or mount
1,000 PEOPLE FREEZING THEIR BUTTS OFF WAITING Then put your little hand in mine
TO WORSHIP A RAT. Cause there aint no hill or mountain we cant climb
WHAT A HYPE. clattering
GROUNDHOG DAY tinny and distorted:I got you, babe.
[PHIL] ONCE AGAIN, THE EYES OF THE NATION DID YOU SEE THAT?
HAVE TURNED HERE, TO THIS I BELIEVE HE DID.
TINY VILLAGE IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA both laughing
BLAH, BLAHBLAH, BLAHBLAH. OKAY, LITTLE FELLA, THERE YOU GO.
THERE IS NO WAYTHAT THIS WINTER IS EVER GOING TO [MAN] HI, THERE, MISTER.
END AS LONG AS THIS GROUNDHOG KEEPS SEETING HIS SOMETHING I CAN DO YOU FOR?
SHADOW. I DONT SEE AN OTHER WAY. HEY!
HES GOT TO BE STOPPED. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
AND I HAVE TO STOP HIM. HEY!
[LARRY] REAL GOOD, PHIL. JAKE! GET THE WORD OUT!
REAL GOOD. SOMEBODY KIDNAPPED PHIL!
[RITA] HES OUT OF HIS GOURD. WERE GOING AFTER HIM.
IM WORRIED. tires screeching
I THINK THERES SOMETHING REALLY WRONG WITH PHIL. [RITA] WHY WOULD ANYBODY STEAL A GROUNDHOG?
[LARRY] YEAH. THERES A LOT OF THINGS REALLY WRONG [LARRY] I CAN THINK OF A COUPLE OF REASONS.
WITH PHIL. PERVERT.
[RITA] OH, HI, PHIL. [RITA] HE MUST HAVE JUST SNAPPED.
[PHIL] IVE COME TO THE END OF ME, RITA. [LARRY] THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD.
THERES NO WAY OUT NOW. tiers screening
I JUST WANT YOU TO REMEMBER. [RITA] WHAT IS HE DOING?
WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL DAY TOGETHER ONCE. WHAT CAN HE BE THINKING?
[MAN] ALL RIGHT, LITTLE FELLA, GOOD JOB. [PHIL] THATS NOT BAD FOR A QUADRUPED.
HE JUST SMILED AT ME! YOU GOT TO CHECK YOUR MIRRORS.
JUST SIDE OF YOUR EYE. [LARRY] HE MIGHT BE OKAY.
THATS IT, THATS IT. WELL, NO, PROBABLY NOT NOW.
HEY, THEYRE CHASING US! **Then put your little hand in mine.
COME ON, MAKE IT FUN. Cause there aint no hill or mountain we cant climb**
squawks [PHIL] AW, NUTS.
DONT DRIVE ANGRY. [MRS. LANCASTER]DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MR. CONNORS?
DONT DRIVE ANGRY! WOULD YOU LIKE SOMEM, UH, TOAST?
[MAN] HOT DOG! THERES NO WAY OUT EXCEPT THE WAY crackling
WE CAME IN. OH, MY GOD!
WE GOT HIM NOW. honking
truck engine revving tires screening
truck engine revving louder thud
[LARRY] WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING? church bells ringing
[RITA] I DONT KNOW. [RITA] THATS HIM.
[MAN] IF YOU SHOOT, AIM HIGH. [LARRY]HE WAS A REALLY, REALLY GREAT GUY.
DONT HIT THE GROUNDHOG. I REALLY, REALLY LIKED HIM.
[PHIL] WE MUSTNT KEEP OUR PUBLIC WAITING.. A LOT.
chattering and whimpering Phil Convinces Rita
ITS SHOW TIME, PHIL. [RITA] IM SORRY? WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN?
ALL RIGHT, ON ME, LARRY, IN THERE [PHIL] IM A GOD.
TWO [RITA] YOURE A GOD.
ONE [PHIL] IM A GOD, IM NOT THE GODI DONT THINK.
[RITA]PHIL! [RITA] BECAUSE YOU SURVIVED A CAR WRECK?
[DORIS] YOU FOLKS READY? HER BROTHER-IN-LAW
[PHIL] I DIDNT JUST SURVIVE A WRECK. OWNS THIS DINER.
I WASNT JUST BLOWN UP. SHES WORKED HERE SINCE SHE WAS 17.
I HAVE BEEN STABBED, SHOT, POISONED, MORE THAN ANYTHING
FROZEN, HUNG, ELECTROCUTED AND BURNED. SHE WANTS TO SEE PARIS BEFORE SHE DIES.
[RITA] OH, REALLY? [DORIS] OH, BOY, WOULD I.
[PHIL] EVERY MORNING, I WAKE UP WITHOUT A [PHIL] THIS IS DEBBIE KLEISER AND HER FIANCEE.
SCRATCH [DEBBIE] DO I KNOW YOU?
NOT A DENT IN THE FENDER. [PHIL] THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MARRIED
I AM AN IMMORTAL. TODAY
[DORIS] SPECIAL TODAY IS BLUEBERRY WAFFLES. BUT DEBBIE IS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTIS.
[RITA] WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? [DEBBIES FIANCEE] WHAT? !
[PHIL] BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BELIEVE IN ME. [RITA] LOVELY RING.
[RITA] YOURE NOT A GOD. TAKE MY WORD. [PHIL] THIS IS BELL.
THIS IS 12 YEARS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOL TALKING. HES BEEN A WAITER SINCE HE LEFT PENN STATE. HE
[DORIS] I COULD COME BACK IF YOURE NOT READY. LIKES THE TOWN, HE PAINTS TOY SOLDIERS AND HES
[PHIL] HOW DO YOU KNOW IM NOT A GOD? GAY.
[RITA] OH, PLEASE! [BILL] I AM.
[PHIL] HOW DO YOU KNOW? [PHIL] THIS IS GUS.
[RITA] ITS NOT POSSIBLE! HE WISHES HE STAYED IN THE NAVY.
(whispering: ) [DORIS] ILL COME BACK. [GUS] I COULD HAVE RETIRED ON HALF-PAY AFTER 20
DORIS. YEARS.
THIS IS DORIS. [RITA] IS THIS SOME TRICK?
[PHIL] MAYBE THE REAL GOD USES TRICKS. BUT YOURE HOPING FOR MORE THEN CHANNEL 9,
MAYBE HES NOT OMNIPOTENT. PITTSBURGH.
HES BEEN AROUND SO LONG HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. [RITA] WELL, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
[RITA] OKAY. WHOS THAT? [PHIL] YOU LIKE A BOATS, BUT NOT THE OCEAN.
[PHIL] THIS IS TOM. HE WORKED IN THE MINE. YOU GO TO LAKE IN THE SUMMER WITH YOUR FAMILY.
[RITA] AND HER? THERES A WOODEN DOCK
[PHIL] THATS ALICE, FROM IRELAND SHE LIVED IN EERIE. AND A BOATHOUSE WITH BOARDS MISSING FROM THE
[ALICE] HES RIGHT. ROOF AND A PLACE YOU CRAWLED UNDERNEACH TO BE
[RITA] AND HER? ALONE. YOURE A SUCKER FOR FRANCH POETRY AND
[PHIL] NANCY. SHE MAKES NOISES LIKE A CHIPMUNK RHINESTONES.
WHEN SHE GETS EXCITED. YOURE VERY GENEROUS.
[NANCY] HEY! YOURE KIND TO STRANGERS AND CHILDREN WHEN YOU
[PHIL] ITS TRUE. STAND IN THE SNOW
[RITA] HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM? YOU LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL.
[PHIL] I KNOW EVERYTHING. [RITA] HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?
IN FIVE SECONDS, A WAITER WILL DROP A TRAY. FIVE, [PHIL] I TOLD YOU.
FOUR I WAKE UP EVERY DAY RIGHT HERE
[RITA] THIS IS NUTS. RIGHT IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, AND ITS ALWAYS FEBURARY 2
[PHIL] OKAY? AND THERES NOTHING. I CAN DO ABOUT IT.
[RITA] OKAY, THATS ENOUGH. IF YOU STILL CANT BELIEVE ME, LISTEN: IN TEN SECONDS
[RITA] WHAT ABOUT ME, PHIL? LARRY IS GOING TO COME THROUGH THAT DOOR
DO YOU KNOW ME TOO? AND TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME, BUT YOU CANT LET HIM.
[PHIL] YOU LIKE PRODUCING [RITA] LARRY?
[PHIL] PLEASE, BELIEVE ME. whistles tunelessly
YOUVE GOT TO BELIEVE ME. whistles tunelessly
[LARRY] YOU GUYS READY? laughs
WE BETTER GET GOING BE THE HAT, COME ON, GO.
IF WERE GOING TO STAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER. BE THE HAT.
[LARRY] WHATS THAT? [RITA] IT WOULD TAKE ME A YEAR TO GET GOOD AT THIS.
[RITA] IF WERE GOING TO STAY AHEADE OF THE [PHIL] NO. SIX MONTHS, FIVE HOURS A DAY AND YOUD BE
WEATHER. AN EXPERT.
MAYBE IT REALLY IS HAPPENING. [RITA] IS THIS WHAT YOU DO WITH ETERNITY?
I MEAN, HOW ELSE COULD YOU KNOW SO MUCH? [PHIL] NOW YOU KNOW.
[PHIL] THERE IS NO WAY. THATS NOT THE WORST PART.
IM NOT THAT SMART. [RITA] WHATS THE WORST PART?
[RITA] MAYBE I SHOULD SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY [PHIL] THE WORST PART IS THAT
WITH YOU US AN OBJECTIVE WITNESS,JUST TO SEE WHAT TOMORROW, YOU WILL HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT
HAPPENS. THIS AND YOULL TREAT ME LIKE A JERK AGAIN.
[PHIL] GEE, THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SCIENCE PROJECT. [RITA] NO!
CONCENTRATE. [PHIL] ITS ALL RIGHT. I AM A JERK.
YOU GOT TO WANT IT. [RITA] NO, YOURE NOT.
YOUVE GOT TO WANT IT, RITA. [PHIL] IT DOESNT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
OH, COME ON. IVE KILLED MYSELF SO MANY TIMES
ITS MORE IN THE WRISTS THAN I DONT EVEN EXIST ANYMORE.
THE FINGERS. [RITA] WELL, SOMETIMES, I WISH I HAD A THOUSAND
YOU JUST GOT TO LIFETIMES. I DONT KNOW, PHIL.
MAYBE ITS NOT A CURSE. I PROMISE I WONT TOUGH YOU
IT JUST DEPENDS ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT. [RITA] HMM
[PHIL] GOSH, YOURE AN UPBEAT LADY. [PHIL] MUCH.
[RITA] I WANT YOU TO KNOW, ITS BEEN A REALLY NICE [RITA] THATS ALL RIGHT.
DAY FOR ME. IM IM NOT TIRED.
[PHIL] ME TOO. WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?
[RITA] AND MAYBE, IF ITS NOT TOO BORING WE COULD [PHIL] I THINK THE LAST THING THAT YOU HEARD WAS,
DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME. ONLY GOD CAN MAKE A TREE.
[PHIL] I HOPE SO. [RITA] MMM.
[RITA] YOURE STILL HERE. [PHIL] WHAT I WANTED TO SAY WAS
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DISAPPEAR OR I WAS, I THINK YOURE THE KINDEST, SWEETEST, PRETTIEST
OR SOMETHING. PERSON THAT IVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE.
[PHIL] NOT UNTLL 6:00. IVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE
[RITA] OH! YOU RAT! THATS NICER TO PEOPLE THAN YOU ARE.
[PHIL] I NEVER SAID MIDNIGHT. [RITA] HMM
[RITA] YOU KNEW I WAS WAITING FOR MIDNIGHT. [PHIL] THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU, SOMETHING HAPPENED
[PHIL] DOES THIS MEAN YOURE GOING TO LEAVE? TO ME. I NEVER TOLD YOU, BUT
[RITA] NO. I KNEW THAT I WANTED TO HOLD YOU AS HARD AS I
[PHIL] GOOD. COULD.
[RITA] OKAY. (sighing)
[RITA] OH, IM SORRY. I DONT DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
[PHIL] THATS ALL RIGHT. BUT IF I EVER COULD
YOU CAN FALL ASLEEP. I SWEAR, I WOULD LOVE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
[RITA] DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? [PHIL] LARRY?
[PHIL] GOOD NIGHT, RITA. SKIM MILK, TWO SUGAR.
[RITA] GOOD NIGHT, PHIL. [LARRY] YEAH. THANKS, PHIL.
**Then put your little hand in mine [PHIL] PASTRY?
Cause there aint no hill or mountain we cant climb Babe [RITA] NO, WERE SETTING UP.
I got you, babe [PHIL] PASTRY, LARRY? TAKE YOUR PICK.
I got you, babe.** [LARRY] THANKS, PHIL.
Deejay #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine RASPBERRY. GREAT.
and dont forget your booties, cause its cold out there. [PHIL] I WAS TALKING WITH BUSTER GREEN, THE HEAD
Deejay #2: Its cold out there every day. GROUNDHOG HONCHO. IF WE SET UP OVER HERE, WE
What is this, Miami Beach? MIGHT GET A BETTER SHOT.
Deejay #1: Not hardly. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
UH..? [RITA] SOUNDS GOOD.
(gasping) [PHIL] LARRY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
**STRIKE UP THE MUSIC [LARRY] YEAH, LETS GO FOR IT.
THE BAND HAS BEGUN [RITA] GOOD WORK, PHIL.
THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA [PHIL] MAYBE WELL GET LUCKY.
PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER AND JOIN IN THE FUN THE LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THE HEAVE STUFF.
PENNSYLVANIA POLKA NO, NO, NO. YOU GOT YOUR COFFEE.
IT STARTED IN SCRANTON, ITS NOW NUMBER ONE** ILL GET IT.
[PHIL] WHO WANTS COFFEE? [PHIL] WE NEVER TALK, LARRY.
GET IT WHILE ITS HOT. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
[RITA] OH, THANKS, PHIL. [PIANO TEACHER] YES?
[PHIL] YES, ID LIKE A PIANO LESSON, PLEASE. (playing La Bouree Du Celibataire) NOT BAD, MR. CONNORS.
[PIANO TEACHER] IM WITH A STUDENT, BUT COME BACK [PIANO TEACHER] YOU SAY THIS IS YOUR FIRST LESSON?
TOMORROW [PHIL] YES, BUT MY FATHER WAS A PIANO MOVER, SO
[PHIIL] WELL, I KIND OF WANT TO GET STARTED. [NED] PHIL? PHIL CONNORS, I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU.
I COULD GIVE YOU $1,000. [PHIL] NED RYERSON.
[PIANO TEACHER] COME ON IN. [NED] YES.
(playing C scale) [PHIL] I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
[MAN] MORNING! I DONT KNOW WHERE YOURE HEADED
OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG. BUT CAN YOU CALL IN SICK?
[PHIL] BON JOURND, SIGNORE. [NED] UH
[MAN] YOU THINK ITS GOING TO BE AN EARLY SPRING? I GOT TO GET GOING.
[PHIL] WINTER, SLUMBERING IN THE OPEN AIR WEARS ON UH ITS GOOD TO SEE YOU, PHIL.
HIS SMILING FACE A DREAM OF SPRING, CIAO. [PHIL] HELLO, FATHER.
[MAN] CIAO. LETS GET YOU SOMEPLACE WARM, ALL RIGHT?
(playing arpeggios haltingly) [OLD MAN] YOU
[RITA] PHIL! [PHIL] YEAH. YEAH, REMEMBER ME?
[PHIL] RITA, HI. [NURSE] SIR, ARE YOU THE ONE WHO BROUGHT THE OLD
HEY, LAR, HI. MAN IN?
HOWS SHE LOOK? [PHIL] MM-HMM. HOW IS HE?
[RITA] GREAT. [NURSE] WELL, HE JUST PASSED AWAY.
[PHIL] THANK YOU. [PHIL] WHAT DID HE DIE OF?
[LARRY] DID YOU KNOW HE COULD ICE SCULPT? [NURSE] HE WAS JUST OLD.
[RITA] NO. IT WAS JUST HIS TIME.
[PHIL] I WANT TO SEE HIS CHART. PUNXSUTAWNEY AND BASKING IN THE WARMTH OF THEIR
EXCUSE ME. HEARTHS AND HEARTS I COULDNT IMAGINE A BETTER
[NURSE] UM, SIR FATE THAN A LONG AND LUSTROUS WINTER.
SIR, YOU CANT COME IN HERE. FROM PUNXSUTAWNEY, ITS PHIL CONNORS.
SIR, THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA. SO LONG.
[PHIL] WHERES THE CHART? NICE SPEECH, PHIL. VERY NICE.
[NURSE] SOMETIMES, PEOPLE JUST DIE. [PHIL] THANKS.
[PHIL] NOT TODAY. HOW WAS THAT FOR YOU TWO?
ITS HARD DOWN THERE AT THE BOTTOM. [LARRY] HEY, MAN, YOU TOUCHED ME.
[WAITRESS] HERE YOU GO. [PHIL] THANKS, LARRY.
[PHIL] THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
COME ON, DAD. I GOT TO GO, OKAY.
COME ON, POP. COME ON, POP. [RITA] PHIL, THAT WAS SURPRISING.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, BREATHE. I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE SO VERSATILE.
BREATHE, POP. [PHIL] I SURPRISE MYSELF SOMETIMES.
BREATHE, POP! [RITA] WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE?
A Long , Lustrous Winter [PHIL] ID LOVE TO.
[PHIL] WHEN CHEKHOV SAW THE LONG WINTER CAN I HAVE A RAIN CHECK?
HE SAW A WINTER BLEAK AND DARK AND BEREFT OF IVE GOT SOME ERRANDS IVE GOT TO RUN, OKAY?
HOPE YET [RITA] PHIL
WE KNOW THAT WINTER IS JUST ANOTHER STEP IN THE ERRANDS? WHAT ERRANDS?
CYCLE OF LIFE. I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING BACK.
BUT STANDING HERE AMONG THE PEOPLE OF
[PHIL] HEY, HOLD IT, FELLA! (OLD WOMEN)
(yelling) WHO IS THAT?
(groaning) MUST BE FROM THE MOTOR CLUB.
[PHIL] WHAT DO YOU SAY? WHAT DO YOU SAY? [WOMAN] OH, MY GOD, HE IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, YOU LITTLE BRAT? DO SOMETHING.
YOU HAVE NEVER THANKED ME. AN AMBULANCE, A LAWYER, ANYTHING.
ILL SEE YOU TOMORROW. OH, MY GOD.
MAYBE. (gasping)
(groaning) [PHIL] I THINK THAT DID IT.
(THREE OLD WOMEN) (panting)
NOW WHAT? IF YOURE GOING TO EAT STEAK
YOUVE TOTALED IT. GET SOME SHARPER TEETH, ALL RIGHT? ENJOY YOUR
ITS ONLY A FLAT TIRE. MEAL.
JUST BE PATIENT. [WOMAN] OH, THANK YOU.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? [MAN] WHO WAS THAT? IM FINE.
ITS AN EARTHQUAKE. [WOMAN] ARE YOU SURE?
ITS NOT AN EARTHQUAKE. [MAN] OH, YES.
WHAT IS IT? EAT, EAT, EAT.
OH, THANK YOU, YOUNG MAN. Larry: PEOPLE JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS
[PHIL] ITS NOTHING, MAAM. INVOLVED IN THIS. THIS IS AN ART FORM.
I HAD THE TIRE AND THE JACK. YOU KNOW, I THINK MOST PEOPLE JUST THINK
JUST BE COMFORTABLE, ALL RIGHT? I HOLD THE CAMERA AND POINT IT AT STUFF
BE A MINUTE. BUT THERE IS A LOT MORE TO IT THAN JUST THAT.
WOULDYOU BE INTERESTED IN SEEING THE INSIDE OF [RITA] HES GREAT.
THE VAN? [PIANO TEACHER] HES MY STUDENT.
[NANCY] OH, YOU KNOW IM SO PROUD.
I REALLY HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE PARTY. [PHIL] THANK YOU.
[LARRY] GREAT IDEA. ILL GO WITH YOU. HELLO. WELCOME TO OUR PARTY.
LET ME JUST DROP A TIP HERE. OKAY. [RITA] I DIDNT KNOW YOU COULD PLAY LIKE THAT.
[LARRY] RITA, HI. HOW ARE YOU? [PHIL] OH, IM VERSATILE.
RITA, THIS IS NANCY. (slow dance music playing)
[RITA] HI. [OLD WOMAN] ITS THAT NICE YOUNG MAN FROM THE
[NANCY] HI. MOTOR CLUB. THANK YOU AGAIN.
[LARRY] WE WERE JUST GOING TO THE PARTY. [PHIL] ITS NOTHING, LADIES.
YOU GOING TO GO? [OLD WOMAN] HES THE FASTEST JACK IN JEFFERSON
[RITA] YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE FUN. COUNTY.
MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL PHIL. [RITA] WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
[NANCY] I THINK. HES ALREADY IN THERE. [PHIL] I REALLY DONT KNOW.
[LARRY] GREAT. THEYVE BEEN HITTING ON ME ALL NIGHT.
(boogie-woogie piano playing) [WOMAN] THERE YOU ARE.
(music stops) MM-MMM.
(applause) I NEVER THANKED YOU PROPERLY FOR WHAT YOU DID
(playing ballad) FOR BUSTER.
(playing jazz) HE WOULD HAVE CHOKED FOR SURE.
(playing rock) [PHIL] WELL, HE MAY HAVE.
[PIANO TEACHER] ISNT HE GOOD? HE WAS TRYING TO SWALLOW A WHOLE COW.
[MAN] I OWE YOU ONE, BUDDY. [PHIL] UH, YEAH, I GUESS NOT.
[WOMAN] HANG ONTO HIM, DEAR. [RITA] HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW YOU? YOU COME
HES A REAL FIND. ONCE A YEAR AND YOURE THE MOST POPULAR PERSON
[RITA] WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY? IN TOWN.
[PHIL] OH, SAME OLD, SAME OLD. [OLD WOMAN] DR. CONNORS, THANK YOU FOR FIXING
[FRED] EXCUSE ME, MR. CONNORS. FELIXS BACK. HE CAN EVEN HELP AROUND THE HOUSE
[PHIL] HEY, FRED, HOW WAS THE WEDDING? AGAIN.
[FRED] THANK YOU FOR MAKING DEBBIE GO THROUGH [PHIL] IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, FELIX.
WITH IT. [RITA] DR. CONNORS?
[PHIL] ALL I DID WAS FAN THE FLAME FOR YOU, FRED. YOU [PHIL] ITS KIND OF AN HONORARY TITLE.
[DEBBIE] ARE THE BEST. [RITA] WHAT IS GOING ON?
[PHIL] NO, YOU ARE THE BEST. [PHIL] I REALLY DONT KNOW.
RITA, THIS IS DEBBIE AND FRED KLEISER. [RITA] THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON WITH YOU.
HERE YOU GO, KIDS. [PHIL] WOULD YOU LIKE THE LONG VERSION OR THE
CONGRATULATIONS. SHORT?
[DEBBIE] WHAT IS THIS? NO WAY. [RITA] LETS START WITH THE SHORT AND GO FROM
[FRED] WRESTLEMANIA! NO WAY! THERE.
[DEBBIE] YES!! [BUSTER] OKAY, FOLKS. ATTENTION.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?! ITS TIME FOR THE BIG BACHELOR AUCTION. NOW, YOU
WERE GOING TO BE IN PITTSBURGH. ALL KNOW THE RULES.
[FRED] THANK YOU, MR. CONNORS, YOURE A REAL PAL. ALL THE ELIGIBLE BACHELORS COME DOWN IN FRONT
[DEBBIE] OH, THIS IS THE BEST. AND YOU LADIES, YOU BID ON THEM.
[RITA] I DONT UNDERSTAND. YOU GET TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THEM NO
QUESTIONS ASKED! [NANCY] FIFTY.
I DONT WANT TO KNOW, AS LONG AS ITS LEGAL. SO GET [DORIS] FIFTY-FIVE!
OUT YOUR POCKETBOOKS. [NANCY] SIXTY.
AND REMEMBER, ITS ALL FOR CHARITY. [BUSTER] IM BID 60. DO I HEAR MORE?
[DORIS] PHIL. [RITA] 339.88.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE? ( crowd gasping )
GO ON, GET UP THERE. ( applause )
I GOT TEN BUCKS THAT SAYS YOURE MINE. [BUSTER] I DONT THINK.
HEY, BUSTER, I GOT YOUR FIRST VICTIM. WERE GOING TO ACCEPT ANY MORE BIDS.
[BUSTER] PHIL CONNORS, COME ON UP HERE. I THINK THATS SOLD TO THE LITTLE LADY FOR 339.88.
( band playing fanfare ) ( hammer pounds )
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT AM I BID FOR THIS FINE [BUSTER] CONGRATULATIONS.
SPECIMEN? Buster: OKAY, BACHELORS, WHOS NEXT?
[OLD WOMAN] FIVE DOLLARS. ( burlesque drumbeat plays )
[BUSTER] THE BIDDING HAS BEGUN AT FIVE DOLLARS. ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT AM I BID FOR THISGUY? DO I
[NANCY] TEN DOLLARS. HEAR A BUCK AND A HALF?
[DORIS] FIFTEEN. ANYBODY?
[NANCY] TWENTY. 75 CENTS?
[DORIS] TWENTY-FIVE. [OLD WOMAN] I BID TWO BITS!
[NANCY] THIRTY. [BUSTER] SOLD TO THE LADY FOR 25 CENTS.
[DORIS] THIRTY-FIVE. [OLD WOMAN] I GOT HIM! OH!
[NANCY] FORTY. [NED] PHIL? PHIL CONNORS?
[DORIS] FORTY-FIVE. I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.
[PHIL] RITA, THIS IS NED RYERSON. [PHIL] ITS SWEET OF YOU TO SAY.
HES MY NEW INSURANCE AGENT. YOURE PROBABLY RIGHT.
[NED] ILL SAY. [RITA] IS IT FINISHED YET?
I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS GUY FOR 20 YEARS. [PHIL] ALMOST. I STILL HAVE TO PUT SOME CHERRY SYRUP
HE COMES UP TO ME AND BUYS WHOLE LIFE, TERM, ON THE TOP AND THEN WE CAN EAT IT.
UNIFLEX FIRE, THEFT, AUTO, DENTAL, HEALTH WITH THE [RITA] COME ON. IM FREEZING.
OPTIONAL DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT PLAN WATER [PHIL] LET ME TURN IT INTO THE LIGHT.
DAMAGE. [RITA] ITS AMAZING.
THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. ITS BEAUTIFUL.
[PHIL] MINE TOO. HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
[RITA] MINE TOO. [PHIL] I KNOW YOUR FACE SO WELL.
[NED] WHERE ARE WE GOING? I COULD HAVE DONE IT WITH MY EYES CLOSED.
[RITA] OH, LETS NOT SPOIL IT. [RITA] ITS LOVELY.
[NED] OH! LETS NOTOHI GOT THAT. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
( meows ) [PHIL] I DO.
A Woman Face in the Ice NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR FOR THE
[RITA] WHY CANT I LOOK? REST OF MY LIFE IM HAPPY NOW
[PHIL] BECAUSE YOU BOTHER ME, A LOT. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
[RITA] IM GETTING COLD. [RITA] I THINK IM HAPPY TOO.
HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE TO SIT HERE?
[PHIL] IM GIVING YOU YOUR MONEYS WORTH. (RADIO)
YOU PAID TOP DOLLAR FOR ME. Babe
[RITA] WELL, I THINK YOU WERE A BARGAIN. I got you, babe
I got you, babe THEYRE GONE.
They say our love wont pay the rent THEYRE ALL GONE.
Before its earned, our moneys all been spentoh, DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?
please, not again. [RITA] NO. WHAT?
That is a great song. [PHIL] TODAY IS TOMORROW.
No, its not. IT HAPPENED.
[RITA] MMMITS TOO EARLY. OOH. YOURE HERE.
[PHIL] SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT. [RITA] IM HERE.
[RITA] GOOD OR BAD? OOH, PHIL, WHY WERENT YOU LIKE THIS LAST NIGHT?
[PHIL] ANYTHING DIFFERENT IS GOOD. YOU JUST FEEL ASLEEP.
[RITA] MMM [PHIL] IT WAS THE END OF A VERY LONG DAY.
[PHIL] BUT THIS COULD BE REAL GOOD. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU TODAY?
WHY ARE YOU HERE? [RITA] IM SURE I COULD THINK OF SOMETHING.
[RITA] I BOUGHT YOU. Phil: ITS SO BEAUTIFUL.
I OWN YOU. LETS LIVE HERE.
[PHIL] BUT WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? WELL RENT TO START.
[RITA] YOU SAID STAY, SO I STAYED. ** WHAT A DAY THIS HAS BEEN
[PHIL] I SAID STAY, SO YOU STAYED? WHAT A RARE MOOD IM IN
[RITA] MM-HMM. WHY, ITS ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE
[PHIL] I CANT EVEN MAKE A COLLIE STAY. THERES A SMILE ON MY FACE
I GOT TO CHECK SOMETHING. FOR THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE
JUST STAY. WHY, ITS ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE
JUST STAY. ALL THE MUSIC OF LIFE SEEMS TO BE
LIKE A BELL THAT IS RINGING FOR ME CAUSE IM YOUR WEATHERMAN
AND FROM THE WAY THAT I FEEL ITS JUST THE WEATHERMAN
WHEN THAT BELL STARTS TO PEAL WHEN ITS COLD OUTSIDE
I WOULD SWEAR I WAS FALL CALL YOUR WEATHERMAN
SWEAR I WAS FALLING WHEN ITS COLD OUTSIDE
WHY, ITS ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE. ** I CAN WARM YOU UP
( calypso-pop intro ) ITS JUST THE WEATHERMAN.
PREDICTIONS SHOW ITS JUST THE WEATHERMAN.
A STEADY LOW
YOURE FEELING JUST THE SAME
BUT SEASONS COME
AND SEASONS GO
ILL MAKE YOU SMILE AGAIN
IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME, TAKE ME BY THE HAND CANT
YOU FEEL YOURE WARMING UP?
YEAH, IM YOUR WEATHERMAN
COLD WINDS BLOWING
SNOWING, DRIVING EVERYONE INSIDE
HARD RAINS FALLING
HARD RAINS FALLING
PITTER PATTER DOWN YOUR WINDOWPANE
IF THIS INVITATION IS SPOILING ALL YOUR PLANS JUST
CALL INFORMATION UP