GE

2402
Business Communication in
English

B. Study units

Unit seven: Writing Persuasive Messages

Objectives

In this study unit you will learn how to construct persuasive and bad news messages. The
objectives of this unit are to:

Explain the nature of persuasion

Provide the structure of persuasive messages
Provide the structure of bad news messages
Give examples of effective persuasive and bad news messages

The material in this unit is adapted from Joel. P. Bowmans web site at Western Michigan
University, available here, http://homepages.wmich.edu/~bowman/c4dframe.html) and from
Courtland Bovee, C. and Thill, J (2007) Excellence in Business Communication, Pearson Prentice
Hall.

Guidelines

Persuasion

All communication is persuasive to the extent that it attempts to influence behavior and
thinking. In business communication, along with whatever else we are communicating, we are
attempting to sell a favorable image of ourselves or our organization, and most business
messages contain persuasive elements even if persuasion is not their principal objective.
Messages designed to convey positive or negative information, for example, often succeed best
when they contain appropriate resale or new sales material.

In terms of structure and content, a message is considered persuasive when its primary
objective is to sell a product, service, idea, or course of action when that reader may ignore or
resist the message. All persuasion involves a shift in the receivers perceptual frame. Successful
persuasion convinces the reader to view the product, service, or idea in a new way and to act
on that new perspective. Before you can ask your reader to take a particular action, you must
convince him or her that your message has something worthwhile to offera benefitand that
what you say is true. Furthermore, you must achieve these objectives in spite of the fact that
your reader may suspect that all persuasive messagesyours includedare untruthful to some
degree.

The most successful persuasive messages are those that offer the audience real benefits or
other helpful information. The more the reader has to gain, the easier it is to prepare a
persuasive message.

Three factors in persuasive messages

The three most important factors that will influence the degree to which your readers will resist
or welcome your persuasive message are your credibility, their degree of interest in the subject
of your message, and the content of your message.

Your ability to persuade will depend heavily on whether the reader perceives you as
authoritative and honest. Many TV ads use sports figures to advertise products in the hope that
the figures success in sports will carry over and convince viewers that the person knows a lot
about how to treat painful injuries or select comfortable underwear. There are four basic kinds
of credibility:

Long-term credibility: You are a well-known authority, and you have always been honest
before.
Short-term credibility: You offer facts and figures to prove that you are an expert, and your
evidence is sound (logical).

Carry-over credibility: You know a lot about one subject and have been honest about it, so you
will probably be honest about a new subject, too.

Official credibility: Your particular position or office shows that you should be credible. It is an
unfortunate fact of modern life that people have become accustomed to being lied to. No
groupincluding business leaders, politicians, military leaders, teachers, doctors, the press,
scientists and even rabbis, ministers, and priestshas consistently demonstrated that it
deserves to be afforded high credibility. The public lacks trust because members of these
groups have provided false information in the past, covered up mistakes, and otherwise misled
people who relied on them.

Because credibility is currently in such short supply, it may well be the single most important
factor in persuasion, and the single most important factor in credibility is character. Fortunately,
you have almost absolute control over your character: If you want to be believed, do not lie,
withhold important information, or otherwise mislead those who look to you as an
authoritative source of information.

First, be sure that you are authoritative. Your expertise, or knowledge of a particular subject,
plays an important role in whether you are perceived as credible. Make sure that you know
your subject, product, or service thoroughly, and admit it when you dont know something. No
one expects even an expert to know everything. When you need additional time to answer a
question, say so, and then follow through.

Second, you will also be perceived as more credible if you are friendly, warm, and open. Indeed,
in the short term, the audiences perception of your credibility may hinge more on your
attitude of friendliness and openness than it does on your actual record of expertise and
honesty. Remember, however, that the opposite is true for long-term credibility. That will
depend on a consistent record of honesty.

You cannot expect someone who has no interest in your subject to be persuaded by even a
first-rate message. Direct-mail advertisingpersuasive messages sent to groups of people who
theoretically have a lot in commontypically has a success rate of less than 10 percent; fewer
than 10 out of every hundred people who read them have sufficient interest in the product or
service to feel motivated to buy. Not all people find the same appeals equally persuasive. More
so than other messages, a persuasive message prompts the reader to ask, How will this
message benefit me? You will need to provide an answer to that question quickly, interestingly,
and believably if you are going to overcome your readers natural resistance to being persuaded.
Such resistance may be caused by one or more of the following factors:
Negative previous experience: Your reader may have had a bad experience with you, your idea,
your company, a similar product or service, or with other persuasive messages.

Time: Your reader may not wish to take the time to read your message, or your message may
require the reader to spend time in a way he or she would not normally choose.

Money: Acting on your suggestion may cost the reader (or the readers organization) money
that the reader would rather spend in some other way.

Belief systems: Your reader may hold beliefs incompatible with the action you desire him or her
to perform. People are not easily persuaded to change their religious beliefs, for example.

Unless your readers have had a definite positive experience with the suggested behavior, they
will be inclined to focus on the negative aspects and the associated costs. To overcome the
readers tendency to accept the negative in the absence of a strong belief in the positive, you
will need to appeal to the readers self-interests. You need to convince your reader that the
action you are suggesting will prove desirable and will be more beneficial than the many other
ways that the readers time or money could be spent.

(Source: http://homepages.wmich.edu/~bowman/c4dframe.html)

In any persuasive situation, readers want to know how they will benefit from doing as you
suggest: How the product or service will benefit them, what they will gain if they change their
thinking about an issue, or how they can avoid difficulties by changing their thinking or
behavior. Some situations may require more than one persuasive message, with each new
message picking up where the previous one left off. Sales campaigns and collection letters
frequently use this technique.

In general, the more difficult the persuasive task, the more slowly the writer should proceed.
People do not like and will resist being pushed into things. Give them time to decide for
themselves that they will benefit from acting on your message.

Persuasive Requests

Everyone needs to write a persuasive request at one time or another. Would you like to obtain
a name speaker for a meeting? Do you need to secure donations (of either time or money)
for a charity? Have you had a problem convincing a company to replace a defective product?
Each of these situations would call for a persuasive request. The four types of persuasive
requests are requests for favors, adjustments, credit, and donations.

Persuasive Requests for Favors

Asking for a favor by mailwhether email or letteris not the same as asking a favor from a
friend in person. Friends usually enjoy helping each other and know that as the relationship
continues, the favor will probably be returned. When you write to someone requesting a favor,
however, you must offer him or her a benefit that will serve as a substitute for continuing
friendship.

Because your persuasive request will need to be placed in a specific communication context
quickly, introduce the reason you are writing early in the message. Do so in a way that paces
the readers expectation by mentioning the main benefit before the specific nature of the
request is clear. Beginning with a question about a common concern or with a statement about
a common problem will pace the readers current beliefs and will serve to catch his or her
attention.

Lead the reader by using the you-attitude to maintain his or her interest in the situation. Blend
outcomes by explaining why you are requesting the favor in a way that shows the reader how
he or she will benefit. Specify the compensation in positive terms, even when what you can
offer is less than the reader may expect. Avoid the temptation to apologize for insufficient
compensation.

Your closing should motivate the reader by reiterating the main reader benefit and asking him
or her to make a definite commitment by a specific date. Telephone contact may be required
for speed, but written confirmation (memo, letter, fax, or email) is usually more dependable.

Be sure to make your message appropriate for the situation and audience. A message that is
more persuasive than it needs to be is often less successful than a message that is less
persuasive than it should be.

Persuasive Requests for Adjustments

Most claims and requests for adjustments can be handled as routine, informational messages.
Sometimes, however, you will need to write a persuasive message to achieve the results you
desire. You may, for example, have written one request as an informational message and
received an unsatisfactory reply. Or you may feel that your reader will be inclined to ignore or
resist your message because of the circumstances involved.

In requesting an adjustment, you can appeal to the following qualities in your reader:

1. Sense of fair play (an appeal to psychological pleasure).

2. Desire for customer goodwill (an indirect appeal to wealth).
3. Need for a good reputation (an indirect appeal to wealth).
 4. Sense of legal or moral responsibility (an appeal to wealth or pleasure).

When you are writing a persuasive request for adjustment, remember that your objective is to
have the adjustment approved. You may be angry with your reader or his or her organization,
and you may be tempted to express that anger. Your reader, however, will be much more
inclined to approve your request when you present it in a calm, logical manner. This does not
mean that you cant let your reader know how you feel. Your disappointment or frustration
with the products, policies, or services provided by the reader or his or her organization may
well be the most important reason for your request.

The main part of your letter or memo, however, must be a clear and logical presentation of the
facts. Your reader must know exactly what you expect and why you expect it if you are to
receive the adjustment.

Persuasive Requests for Credit

Persuasive requests for credit must be based on circumstances that genuinely warrant the
extension of credit in spite of the requesters inability to pass certain credit tests. For example,
you may be opening a new store and need to purchase inventory on terms longer than your
suppliers usual policy permits, or you may be starting a new business and will have higher than
normal start-up costs. Or you may be refused a department-store credit card when you believe
that your record indicates that you are fully capable of meeting your financial obligations.

Persuasive requests for credit need to demonstrate to the reader that the writer has a good
understanding of how credit works, an intention of fulfilling credit obligations, and an ability to
pay. Be sure to cover the following points:

1. Pace: Place the message in context by referring to previous correspondence ("Your

letter refusing my application for credit came as a surprise . . .") or by focusing on the
way the reader can benefit by extending you credit (primarily increased sales). Normal
interest on the loan is not enough of a benefit to mention because it is outweighed by
the greater than usual risk you obviously pose to the creditor; otherwise, you would
have been extended credit on the basis of your ability to pass normal credit tests.
2. Lead: Show your reader that you understand that credit is a privilege, not a right. Be
positive and confident even though you have been refused credit once already.
3. Blend Outcomes: Explain your financial position and the method by which you expect to
pay. Be specific. List credit references, employment and income, any assets and
outstanding obligations, and other pertinent facts. Show how the reader will benefit by
extending credit.
4. Motivate: State your request specifically and confidently.
Persuasive Requests for Donations

Most political, activist, and public service organizations require donations to stay in business.
Many churches, schools, and colleges would operate at a loss without donations. Raising funds
for charitable organizations has become a specialized occupation, with a lot of the major fund-
raising being conducted by telephone.

Though you may not choose to work for an organization that makes a regular practice of
soliciting funds, you may find that at various times in your life you will belong to various
nonprofit organizations that could benefit from a few extra dollars. Fraternities, sororities,
social clubs wishing to undertake worthy causes, youth clubs, and senior-citizen groups are a
few examples of nonprofit organizations that may not be able to afford professional fund-
raisers.

People who respond to requests for funds fall into two general categories: (1) major givers
(wealthy donors, foundations, and corporations), who respond primarily to rational appeals,
and (2) donors of small amounts who respond primarily to emotional appeals.

Major givers wish to have a full explanation of how the money will be used, and they will want
to see a detailed operating budget. Major givers expect you to demonstrate a real need. Most
people, however, give primarily for emotional reasons. They give because they wish to help
others who are less fortunate than they are; they give because they can see an opportunity to
spend a little of their money doing good for others.

Like all persuasive messages, requests for funds must be carefully considered from the
standpoint of cost-effectiveness. Each letter costs printing and postage, but not everyone who
receives one will respond. Your mailing list should be selected carefully on the basis of what
audience will have a special interest in your particular project. Because letters requesting
donations are typically unsolicited, they employ many of the same strategies used by
unsolicited sales letters.

Requests for funds follow the same basic organizational pattern as other persuasive messages:

1. Pace
State the problem in such a way that the reader can identify with it. Whether
you are writing to a major giver or to the general public, use a people-oriented,
personal beginning.
2. Lead
Explain the problem in a way the reader can appreciate. Your main task is to
provide enough human interest to keep the reader reading.
3. Blend Outcomes
 Show what you will do with the money. Major givers are interested in your

overall budget. Most people are interested in how you have helped (or will help)
individuals. Consider enclosing a separate budget statement.
4. Motivate
Ask specifically for a donation. If the donation is tax-deductible, say so. Provide a
postage-paid reply envelope to make the action easy, and remind the reader of
the importance of the contribution. A postscript will frequently improve your
return. In the postscript, mention a new reader benefit or special benefit for
acting promptly.

Sales Letters

From one point of view, every letter you write will be selling something. For example, requests
sell your responsibility and credibility. Even letters conveying information may be said to sell
a business relationship based on trust and fair play. When you are deliberately using a letter to
sell a product or a service, or when the sole purpose of the letter is to promote future business,
your message requires a special strategy.

In addition to analyzing your audience, you must know your product or service thoroughly
before you can write an effective sales letter. What will your product or service do for your
reader? How will it satisfy your readers need for health, wealth, pleasure, or curiosity?

Sales letters fall into three general, overlapping categories: unsolicited, solicited, and soft-sell.
Unsolicited sales letters are also known as direct-mail advertising; they are a form of advertising
sent by mail directly to the prospective buyer. Because such advertising is not requested and
often not desired, the paper-based version is often called junk mail, while the electronic form
is called spam. Solicited sales letters are replies to inquiries about products or services. Soft-
sell letters, also called cordial contact letters, are special goodwill letters designed to maintain
cordial relations with important customers. Cordial contact is increasingly maintained by email
messages sent on a regular basis.

Unsolicited Sales Letters

Direct-mail advertising is big business. The average person receives more than 500 pieces of
direct-mail a year. In spite of the fact that most of it goes directly into the trash, in the United
States alone, consumers spend about $250 billion in response to unsolicited sales letters and
catalog offerings. Each dollar spent on direct-mail advertising returns about $10 in sales, which
is almost twice the effectiveness of a television commercial. Because current data collection
and processing enable direct sales companies to develop extremely accurate psychographs on
consumers, direct-mail advertising has become increasingly effective in recent years.
Organizations using direct-mail advertising purchase or otherwise obtain mailing lists designed
to target those who match a particular psychograph. If you own a home, buy a car, subscribe to
a magazine, or use a credit card, you are on somebodys list. As the cost of paper and postage
has increased, buying and selling of mailing lists based on ethnic background, occupation, and a
variety of personal and professional interests have become big business in their own right. Your
name and psychograph could be worth as much as 20 cents each time they are sold.

Because many who receive unsolicited sales letters consider them junk mail, your first objective
must be to convince the reader that opening the envelope and reading the letter would be
worthwhile. Consider using an envelope teasera few words on the envelope to suggest a
reader benefitto encourage the reader to continue. Other envelope tricks include the
following:

Urgent Labels
Envelopes marked Urgent, Express, Hand Deliver, Official, or Date Material will help
catch attention.
Real Stamps
Envelopes with real stamps on them catch more attention than those that have been
run through a postage meter.
Return Address
A personal return address of a political figure or a well-known celebrity will increase the
attention an envelope receives. Paradoxically, the absence of a return address also
increases curiosity.
Official Envelopes
Envelopes that look as though they have been sent by a governmental agency receive
increased attention. These envelopes are often brown and use a typeface similar to that
used by governmental agencies.

Remember that your main concern is with those people in your audience who are truly
prospects, people who both want your product or service and can afford to buy it. Write your
letter or email message to persuade those with a real interest in your product or service rather
than writing it to entertain everyone who may receive it.

If you are in the business of direct mail advertising, you will doubtless need to purchase lists
from time to time. The best mailing list you can possibly have, however, consists of the names
of those who have already purchased your product and liked it. However many tricks of the
trade you use to catch attention and to persuade people who respond, you will do better in
the long-run if your product or service fulfills the explicit and implied promises of your letter.

Successful sales letters display the following characteristics:

1. They emphasize benefits rather than the features of the product or service. The word
free, in spite of being extremely overworked, is still a powerful motivator. Buy one and
get one free typically works better than either half-price sale or 50 percent off.
2. They use active voice and personalize the letter by making the reader the subject or
object of many sentences. They use word pictures to create a mental image of the
reader enjoying the use of the product or service. When the mailing list is good and
fairly exclusive, they address each letter individually. When the list is large and less
exclusive, they use a simulated inside address to pace the reader while avoiding trolling
salutations, such as Dear Friend or Dear Homeowner. The best simulated inside
addresses are questions that cannot be answered yes or no. Questions that can be
answered yes or no are next in effectiveness, and statements about a reader benefit are
a third choice. See
3. They focus on one main appeal.
4. They subordinate the price, unless it is an obvious bargain, by mentioning it after most
of the benefits have been listed and described. They state the price in terms of small
units ($5 a box rather than $50 a carton), compare the price with the cost of something
else with which the reader is more familiar, or, when the price is high, offer the option
of extended payments.
5. They use enclosed brochures to illustrate the product or service and to supplement the
details presented in the letter. (Note: references to such enclosures should be late in
the letter to help encourage the reader to finish reading the letter before turning toor
turning back to the brochure.)
6. They are specific in their request for action, specifying exactly what the reader should
do (complete the order blank, send a check, call a toll-free number, or visit a dealer),
making the action easy by providing order blanks and return envelopes, and
encouraging the reader to act promptly.
7. They use a variety of formatting techniques to create in the letter. Such techniques
include varying paragraph widths, adding personal notes with fake handwriting, using
different colors for different paragraphs or key phrases, including photographs or other
illustrations, and adding a postscript to restate an important benefit and suggest
urgency.

Solicited Sales Letters

It is often easier to write a solicited sales letter than an unsolicited sales letter because the
reader has invited you to send information and is expecting your letter. Consequently, you do
not have to worry that your letter will be ignored completely.
Whenever someone has written requesting information about your products or services (or
called requesting information or completed and returned a product-inquiry card), you have a
good opportunity to encourage that person to buy from you. Your message should display all
the characteristics of an unsolicited sales letter, but it should be prepared individually rather
than as a form. Use the following structure:

1. Pace
Your reader is already interested in your product or service, so begin by answering one
of his or her main questions. Find the most important question in your readers letter of
inquiry that you can answer in a positive way. If you have been asked to make a
recommendation, do it first.
2. Lead
Answer all your readers questions as clearly and as specifically as you can. Subordinate
negative answers. Adapt your letter to meet the needs expressed in the readers inquiry.
3. Blend Outcomes
Supply the details and evidence that seem most appropriate for your individual reader.
Use an enclosed brochure for additional information to keep the letter from becoming
too cluttered.
4. Motivate
Just as in an unsolicited sales letter, you need to tell the reader exactly what to do,
make the required action seem easy ("visit your local dealer"), and encourage the
reader to act quickly. Note: Never use a postscript in a solicited sales letter because
doing so would indicate a lack of planning.

Soft-Sell Letters

Soft-sell or cordial-contact letters are special goodwill letters intended to remind the reader
that your organization provides a particular product or service. Because of the cost involved,
paper-based soft-sell letters are used primarily at the industrial level to keep a companys name
familiar to important clients and customers. Some organizations use newsletters as soft-sell
correspondence with a specific audience. Also, in the past few years, organizations have been
using regular telephone contact, email lists, and Web sites to perform similar functions. Cordial
contact by email offers many of the same advantages as soft-sell letters but at much lower cost.

To be successful, soft-sell letters must be welcomed and appreciated by the reader, that is they
must provide something of intrinsic value to the reader, who must look forward to receiving
them month after month. The bulk of the letter needs to provide useful information or material
of entertainment value and work the name of the writers organization, product, or service in
naturally.
Letters That Sell Ideas

Nearly everything said so far about selling products and services applies equally well to selling
ideas. When you need to persuade higher management to allocate more resources for your
department or adopt a new procedure or persuade your staff to conserve supplies, follow the
same basic procedure you would use to sell a product or service: analyze your audience and
select appeals based on their needs.

Selling ideas by letter, memo, or email requires the same kind of structural planning as that
used for selling a product or service. To sell an idea, however, you need to take a few additional
precautions:

1. Pace
You need to begin not only with a problem of interest to your reader, but also with a
premise your reader readily accepts. If the reader disagrees with your opening, he or
she will be all the more inclined to resist the rest of your message.
2. Lead
How quickly you can develop your argument depends on your readers likely degree of
resistance. People usually have a vested interest in maintaining their current beliefs, and
before they will adopt new ideas, they must be fully convinced that it is in their self-
interest to do so. Corporations, for example, are notorious for accepting reports that
agree with current policy and rejecting those that disagree.
3. Blend Outcomes
Rely on truth and logic. When there are two sides to an issue, present both sides. You
can emphasize your own side of the argument, but your reader will resent your message
if you fail to mention other obvious possibilities. Always give your reader all the facts
that might influence his or her decision. Long-range results are usually more important
than short-range success.
4. Motivate
Let your reader know exactly what you expect. When your readers resistance is high, it
is better to persuade by degrees (many messages over time) than to make your message
an all-or-nothing proposition. Remind the reader of the benefits to be gained (or lost) by
adopting (or not adopting) your idea.

Collection Letters

Because doing business by credit always involves a certain degree of risk, it is sometimes
necessary to persuade people who owe money to pay. In recent years, collection has become
an increasingly specialized business, primarily as a result of credit card purchases, which
transfers many of the concerns of collection away from retailers to organizations that specialize
in credit transactions.

Consultants and those who own small retail establishments are the most likely to have sold
goods or services on unsecured credit, but everyone in business should have a basic
understanding of collection procedures: A sale is not complete until the seller has been paid.

The materials presented here are designed to provide an overview of the process so that if you
are faced with a collection problem, you will be able to decide what actions to take for yourself
before turning the problem over to a collection specialist. Note that how far you go in the
process depends on the amount owed and the nature of your business. You need to know how
much time, energy, and money you can afford to put into collecting the amount owed.

The collection procedure is one of gradual escalation in forcefulness. When a bill becomes
overdue, the writer should first assume that the reader intends to pay but has forgotten. If the
reader does not respond to a reminder (or reminders) to pay, the writer should assume that the
reader is not paying because of financial, personal, or medical problems. At this point, the
writer can help the reader solve his or her problems by making new financial arrangements that
will ease the readers burden. Most people who are slow to pay do so after a reminder or two.
Only after these efforts have been made should the writer assume that the reader will have to
be persuaded to pay.

Reminders

Reminders of overdue bills usually consist of

1. A duplicate copy of the original bill.

2. Duplicate copies of the original bill stamped Reminder or Past Due, often specifying how
much past due the bill is.
3. A short note (usually a form) specifying the amount due, the due date, late charges, and
the account number.

A company usually sends one or more reminders to a customer because most people who are
going to pay will do so when they are reminded gently. Sometimes companies choose to
combine a final reminder with an inquiry about the reasons for not paying. Reminders of
overdue bills are negative messages.

Inquiries

Before the writer decides that the customer needs to be persuaded to pay, the writer should
try to discover whether special circumstances are preventing payment. Many people are
embarrassed when they cannot pay their bills, and instead of taking positive action to solve
their financial problems, they hope that if they ignore their problems long enough, they will
solve themselves. When the writer demonstrates a genuine willingness to help such readers
solve their financial difficulties, most will respond by agreeing to new terms that will allow the
company to collect its money and the customer to remain solvent. Inquiries are written with
the assumption that it is better to collect your money a little late than not collect it at all.

Inquiries are divided into two categories. A second inquiry may contain an appeal for a prompt
partial payment and some suggestion for taking care of the obligation in ways other than those
specified in the original agreement. Keep inquiries positive, and avoid suggesting that reader
dissatisfaction with your goods or services might be responsible for late payment.

Appeals

When the reader has failed to respond to one or more reminders and one or more inquiries,
the writer must assume that the reader will not pay unless he or she is persuadedperhaps
even forced legallyto do so. Because you would not be writing an appeal unless you had gone
through the reminder and inquiry stages, you should assume that the reader is going to be well-
prepared to resist your message. For this reason, many organizations turn the debt over to a
collection professional.

Should you choose to continue the collection process yourself, you might begin with one
positive appeal, such as an appeal to cooperation, fair play, or pride. Because the reader has
failed to respond to your earlier messages, however, the chances are that unless you can give
him or her a very good reason for paying, he or she will continue to ignore your efforts to
collect. For this reason, negative appeals to the readers self-interest are usually appropriate at
this stage. The reader should be told that by not paying, he or she is likely to lose the following:

Credit privileges.
The goods or services not paid for.
Additional money or property.
Good reputation and self-respect.

If your reader fails to respond to your appeal (or appeals, if you choose to send more than one),
give him or her one last opportunity to pay along with notification of the action you will take if
payment does not arrive. This final letter is known as the ultimatum. Your assumption in writing
is that the reader will have to be forced to pay.

In this last effort to collect, you should review the facts (what the reader purchased and when
and your efforts to collect over time), set an end date, and tell the reader that on that date you
will turn the debt over to a collection agency or to a lawyer. Avoid threatening the reader
(which is illegal), and avoid accusing the reader of personal shortcomings or engaging in name-
calling (deadbeat, crook, loser, etc.).

Even at this point, you may be able to retain your readers goodwill and cash business, so
remain fair, reasonable, and logical throughout. And then be sure to follow throughif the
reader still doesnt pay, hire a collection professional or turn the matter over to your attorney.

(adapted from http://homepages.wmich.edu/~bowman/persuade2.html)

Bad news messages

Communicating negative news is a fact of life for all business professionals, from rejecting job
applicants to telling customers that shipments will be late to turning down speaking invitations.

Bad news messages are challenging to write because we know our readers will not be happy to
receive the news.

Bad news means the reader will not be able to accomplish his/her goals. For example, without a
loan, a student may have to postpone plans to graduate on time because now the person has to
go to work to raise the money. The homeless shelter that doesn't get your donation now has to
worry about how it's going to feed its clients.

But news can't always be good. In life, we do have to reject less-qualified applicants, we don't
have unlimited funds to give money to every deserving charity, and we can't always fill a
customer's request on time.

When we need to say "no" to our readers, we usually mean "not under these circumstances."
"No" now isn't necessarily "no" forever. If the student were to get a co-signer, he/she might be
able to get the loan after all. Perhaps we'll be able to send a donation to the homeless shelter
next month, after we've paid our own bills first.

So how do we give bad news without destroying our business relationship? You can see in list at
the top of this page that stating bad news directly can often be very damaging and
unnecessarily hurtful. When you need to deliver bad news, you have five goals:

1. to convey the bad news

2. to gain acceptance for it
3. to maintain as much goodwill a possible with your audience
4. to maintain a good image for our organization
5. if appropriate, to reduce or eliminate the need for future correspondence on the matter.
Five goals are clearly a lot to accomplish in one message. However, by learning some simple
techniques, you can develop negative messages that reduce the stress for everyone involved
and improve the effectiveness of your communication efforts.

Step 1: Plan Your Message

When planning your message, you can't avoid the fact that your audience does not want to
hear what you have to say. To minimize the damage to business relationships and to encourage
the acceptance of your message, analyze the situation carefully to better understand the
context in which the recipient will process your message.

Be sure to consider your purpose thoroughly whether it's straightforward (such as rejecting a
job application) of more complicated (such as creating a negative performance review, in which
you not only give the employee feedback on past performance but also help the person
develop a plan to improve future performance.) Similarly, your audience profile can be simple
and obvious in some situations (such as rejecting a credit request) and far more complex in
others (such as telling a business partner that you've decided to terminate the partnership.)

With a clear purpose and your audience's needs in mind, identify and gather the information
your audience will need in order to understand and accept your message. Negative messages
can be intensely personal to the recipient, and in many cases recipients have a right to expect a
thorough explanation of your answer. Empty clichs such as "Due to circumstances beyond our
control" are vague because they don't tell the reader anything of substance.

Selecting the right medium is critical when delivering negative messages. For example, you
might badly damage a business relationship if you use voice mail to reject a long-time
employee's request for a promotion. Since the employee would surely have some important
questions to ask, and you would certainly want to soothe hurt feelings, a face-to-face meeting
would be the best choice for this situation. However, if your company received 10,000 credit
applications a month, you can't afford to engage every rejected applicant in a one-on-one
conversation. A well written form letter that limits response options from your readers so
that you don't have to explain the reasons for your decision already covered in your letter is a
better choice.

Step 2: Write Your Message

When adapting a negative message to your audience, every aspect of effective, diplomatic
writing is amplified; after all, our audience does not want to hear a negative message and might
disagree strongly with you. Be sure to maintain the you-attitude, and strive for polite language
that emphasizes the positive whenever appropriate.
If your credibility hasn't already been established with an audience, lay out your qualifications
for making the decision in question. Recipients of negative messages who don't think you are
credible are more likely to challenge your decision. That's why, for example, messages related
to late payments are often signed by a higher executive. And as always, projecting and
protecting your company's image is a prime concern. If you're not careful, a negative answer
could spin out of control into negative feelings about your company.

When you use language that conveys respect and avoids an accusing tone, you protect your
audience's pride. In addition, you can ease the sense of disappointment by using positive words
rather than negative, counterproductive ones (see Fig. 1 below.)

Chances are you'll spend more time on word, sentence, and paragraph choices for negative
messages than for any other type of business writing. People who receive bad news often look
for subtle shares of meaning, seeking flaws in your reasoning or other ways to challenge the
decision. By writing clearly and sensitively, you can take some of the sting out of bad news and
help your reader to accept your decision and to move on.

Step 3: Complete Your Message

Your need for careful attention to detail continues as you complete your message. Revise your
content to make sure everything is clear, complete, and concise bearing in mind that even
small flaws are magnified as readers react to your negative news. Produce clear, professional
documents, and proofread carefully to eliminate mistakes. Finally, be especially sure that your
negative messages are delivered promptly and successfully. Waiting for bad news is hard
enough without wondering whether a message was lost.

Developing negative messages

Effective bad news messages convey the negative information the customer must receive with
an eye toward keeping future business.

Without even thinking about it, you've probably been using both the direct and indirect
approaches to deliver bad news your entire life. When you come right out and tell somebody
some bad news, you're using a direct approach. When you try to soften the impact by easing
your way into the conversation before delivering the bad news, you're using an indirect
approach. Chances are you've already developed an instinctive feel for which approach to use
in many situations. In your business writing, you'll need to make a similar choice whenever you
deliver bad news; however, there are no clear guidelines to help you choose in every case.
Most bad news messages will be better accepted by our readers if we use the indirect approach.
The care we take to soften the blow will result in effective messages that consider the readers'
feelings and keeping their business.

The Indirect Approach for Negative Messages

The indirect approach helps readers prepare for the bad news by presenting the reasons for the
bad news first. When done right, it doesn't obscure bad news, delay it, or limits your
responsibility. Rather, the indirect approach eases the blow and help readers accept the
situation. When done well, the indirect approach is a good example of reader-centered writing
crafted with attention to both ethics and etiquette.

Open with a Buffer

The first step in using the indirect approach is to write a buffer, a neutral, non-controversial
statement that is closely related to the point of the message. A buffer establishes common
ground with your reader; moreover, if you're responding to a request, a buffer validates that
request. Some critics believe that using a buffer is manipulative and unethical, even dishonest.
However, buffers are unethical only if they're insincere or deceptive. Showing consideration for
the feelings of others is never dishonest.

A poorly written buffer might trivialize the reader's concerns, divert attention from the problem
with insincere flattery or irrelevant material, or mislead the reader into thinking your message
actually contains good news. A good buffer, on the other hand, can express your appreciation
for being considered (if you're responding to a request), assure your reader of your attention to
the request, or indicate your understanding of the reader's needs. A good buffer also needs to
be relevant and sincere.

Here are several types of effective buffers you could use to tactfully open a negative message.

1. Appreciation: Thank you for applying for a Barklay's line of credit.

2. Agreement: We both know how hard it is to make a profit in this industry.
3. Cooperation: Barklays is here to smooth the way for restaurants at the cutting edge of
gourmet dining.
4. Understanding: So that you can more easily find the seasonings you need, enclosed is
our brochure.
5. Praise: The China House Restaurant clearly has an impressive record of accomplishment
in creating the quality dishes they want. We at Barklays...

Given the damage that a poorly composed buffer can do, consider each one carefully before
you send it. Is it respectful? Is it relevant? Is it neutral, implying neither yes nor no? Does it
provide a smooth transition to the reasons that follow? If you can answer yes to every question,
you can proceed confidently to the next section of your message. However, if that little voice
inside your head tells you that your buffer sounds insincere or misleading, it probably is, in
which case you'll need to rewrite it.

Provide Reasons and Additional Information

An effective buffer serves as a stepping stone to the next part of your message, in which you
build up the explanations and information that will culminate in your negative news. The nature
of the information you provide is similar to that of the direct approachit depends on the
audience and the situationbut the way you portray this information differs from any
portrayal in a direct message because your reader doesn't know your conclusion yet.

An ideal explanation section leads readers to your conclusion before you come right out and
say it. In other words, before you actually say no, the reader has followed your line of reasoning
and is ready for the answer. By giving your reasons effectively, you help maintain focus on the
issues at hand and defuse the emotions that always accompany significantly bad news.

As you lay out your reasons, guide your readers' responses by starting with the most positive
points first and moving forward to increasingly negative ones. Provide enough detail for the
audience to understand your reasons, but be concise; a long, roundabout explanation will just
make your audience impatient. Your reasons need to convince your audience that your decision
is justified, fair, and logical.

If appropriate, you can use the explanation section to suggest how the negative news might in
fact benefit your reader. Suppose you work for a multinational company that wants to hire an
advertising agency to support your offices in a dozen different countries, and you receive a
proposal from an agency that has offices in only one of those countries. In your list of reasons,
you could indicate that you don't want to impose undue hardship on the agency by requiring
significant amounts of international travel. However, use this technique with care; it's easy to
insult readers by implying that they shouldn't be asking for the benefits or opportunities they
were seeking in the first place.

Avoid hiding behind company policy to cushion your bad news. If you say, "Company policy
forbids our hiring anyone who does not have two years' supervisory experience," you imply
that you won't consider anyone on his or her individual merits. Skilled and sympathetic
communicators explain company policy (without referring to it as "policy") so that the audience
can try to meet the requirements at later time. Consider this response to an employee:

Because these management positions are quite challenging, the human relations department
has researched the qualifications needed to succeed in them. The findings show that the two
most important qualifications are a bachelor's degree in business administration and two year's
supervisory experience.

The paragraph above does a good job of stating reasons for the refusal: Hurley

It provides enough detail to logically support the refusal.

It implies that the applicant is better off avoiding a program in which he or she might fail.
It explains the company's policy as logical rather than arbitrary.
It offers no apology for the decision because no one is at fault.
It avoids negative personal expressions (such as "You do not meet our requirements")

Even valid, well-thought-out reasons won't convince every reader in every situation, but if
you've done a good job of laying out your reasoning, then you've done everything you can to
prepare the reader for the main idea, which is the negative news itself.

Continue with a Clear Statement of the Bad News

Now that you've laid out your reasons thoughtfully and logically, and now that readers are
psychologically prepared to receive the bad news, your audience may still reject your message
if the bad new is handled carelessly. Three techniques are especially useful for saying no as
clear and as kindly as possible.

First, de-emphasize the bad news:

Minimize the space or time devoted to the bad newswithout trivializing it or withholding any
important information.

Subordinate bad news in a complex or compound sentence ("My department is already

shorthanded, so I'll need all my staff for at least the next two months") This construction
pushes the bad news into the middle of the sentence, the point of least emphasis.

Embed bad news in the middle of a paragraph or use parenthetical expression ("Our profits,
which are down, are only part of the picture").

However, keep in mind that it's possible to abuse de-emphasis. For instance, if the primary
point of your message is that profits are down, it would be inappropriate to marginalize that
news by burying it in the middle of a sentence. State the negative news clearly, then make a
smooth transition to any positive news that might balance the story.

Second, use a conditional (if or when) statement to imply that the audience could have
received, or might someday receive, a favorable answer ("When you have more managerial
experience, you are welcome to reapply"). Such a statement could motivate applicants to
improve their qualifications.
Third, emphasize what you can do or have done, rather than what you cannot do. Say, "We sell
exclusively through retailers, and the one nearest you that carries our merchandise is ..." rather
than "We are unable to serve you, so please call your nearest dealer." Also, by implying the bad
news, you may not need to actually state it ("The five positions currently open have been filled
with people whose qualification match those uncovered in our research"). By focusing on the
positive and implying the bad news, you make the impact less personal.

When implying bad news, be sure your audience understands the entire message - including
the bad news. Withholding negative information or overemphasizing positive information is
unethical and unfair to your reader. If an implied message might lead to uncertainty, state your
decision in direct terms. Just be sure to avoid overly blunt statements that are likely to cause
pain and anger:

Instead of This Use this

I must refuse your request. I will be out of town on the day you need
me.
We must deny your application. The position has been filled.
I am unable to grant your request. Contact use again when you have
established
We cannot afford to continue the program. The program will conclude on May 1.
Mush as I would like to attend Our budget meeting ends too late for me to
attend.
We must reject your proposal. Weve accepted the proposal from AAA
Builders.
We must turn down your extension request. Please send in your payment by June 15.

1. that the statement is false,

2. that the language is injurious to the person's reputation, and
3. that the statement has been published for others to see.

If you can prove that your accusations are true, you haven't defamed the person. The courts are
likely to give you the benefit of the doubt because our society believe that ordinary business
communication should not be hampered by fear of lawsuit However, beware of the irate letter
intended to let off steam: If the message has no necessary business purpose and is expressed in
abusive language that hints of malice you'll lose the case. To avoid being accused of defamation,
follow these guidelines:
Avoid using any kind of abusive language or terms that could be considered defamatory.

Close on a Positive Note

As with the direct approach, the conclusion of the indirect approach is your opportunity to
emphasize your respect for your audience, even though you've just delivered unpleasant news.
Express best wishes without ending on a falsely upbeat note. If you can find a positive angle
that's meaningful to your audience, by all means consider adding it to your conclusion.
However, don't try to pretend that the negative news didn't happen or that it won't affect the
reader. Suggest alternative solutions if such information is available. In a message to a
customer or potential customer, an ending that includes resale information or sales promotion
may also be appropriate. If you've asked readers to decide between alternatives or to take
some action, make sure that they know what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Whatever
type of conclusion you use, follow these guidelines:

Avoid a negative or uncertain conclusion. Don't refer to, repeat, or apologize for the bad news,
and refrain from expressing any doubt that your reasons will be accepted (avoid statements
such as "I trust our decision is satisfactory").

Limit future correspondence. Encourage additional communication only if you're willing to

discuss your decision further (if you're not, avoid wording such as "If you have further questions,
please write").

Be optimistic about the future. Don't anticipate problems (avoid statements such as "Should
you have further problems, please let us know").

Be sincere. Steer clear of cliches that are insincere in view of the bad news (if you can't help,
don't say, "If we can be of any help, please contact us").

Be confident. Don't show any doubt, about keeping the person as a customer (avoid phrases
such as "We hope you will continue to do business with us").

Finally, keep in mind that the closing is the last thing the audience has to remember you by. Try
to make the memory a positive one.

Adapting to Your Audience

Even more than other business messages, negative messages require that you maintain your
audience focus and be as sensitive as possible to audience needs. Therefore you may need to
adapt your message to cultural differences or to the difference between internal and external
audiences.

Cultural Variations

Even though bad news is unwelcome in any language, the conventions for passing it on to
business associates can vary considerably from country to country. For instance, French
business letters are traditionally quite formal and writer oriented, often without reference to
audience needs or benefits. Moreover, when the news is bad, French writers take a direct
approach. They open with a reference to the problem or previous correspondence and then
state the bad news clearly. While they don't refer to the audience's needs, they often do
apologize and express regret for the problem.

In contrast, Japanese letters traditionally open with remarks about the season, business
prosperity, or health. When the news is bad, these opening formalities serve as the buffer.
Explanations and apologies follow, and then comes the bad news or refusal. Japanese writers
protect their reader's feelings by wording the bad new ambiguously. Western readers may even
misinterpret this vague language as a condition of acceptance rather than as the refusal it
actually is.

In short, if you are communicating across cultures, you'll want to use the tone, organization,
and other cultural conventions that your audience expects. Only then can you avoid the
inappropriate or even offensive approaches that could jeopardize your business relationship.

Internal Versus External Audiences

You'll want to adapt your negative message according to whether your audience is inside or
outside the organization. Recipients inside your company frequently have expectations for
negative messages that differ from those of recipients outside the company. For example,
employees will react negatively to news of an impending layoff, but company shareholders
might welcome the news as evidence that management is trying to control costs. Most
employees will not only expect more detail but will also expect to be informed before the
general public is told.

Plus, after several years of seemingly endless upheavals and bad news, from market collapses
to financial scandals, many employees are less inclined to believe what they hear from
management. Cynicism and distrust are rampant today, and employees are tired of discussing
change. They want to know more than how changes will help the company; they want to know
how changes are going to affect them personally. Managers can rebuild trust only by
communicating openly, honestly and quickly in both good times and bad.

Of course, negative news must also flow upward in an organization, from lower level employees
to higher-level managers. Even when employees are not at fault, the reluctance to give bad
news to superiors can be strong. In corporate cultures that don't encourage open
communication, employees who fear retribution may go to great lengths to avoid sending bad
news messages. In such a dysfunctional environment, failure breeds still more failure because
decision makers don't get the honest, objective information they need to make wise choices. In
contrast, managers in open culture expect their employees to bring them bad news whenever it
happens so that corrective action can be taken. Whatever the case, if you do need to transmit
bad news up the chain of command, don't try to pin the blame on anyone in particular. Simply
emphasize the nature of the problemand a solution, if possible. This tactic will help you earn
a reputation as an alert problem solver, rather than as just a complainer.

Negative messages to outside audiences require attention to the diverse nature of your
audience and the concern for confidentiality of internal information. A single message might
have a half dozen separate audiences, all with differing opinions and agenda. You may not be
able to explain things to the level of detail that some of these people want if doing so would
release proprietary information such as future product.

Maintaining High Standards of Ethics and Etiquette

Sending and receiving negative messages leads to a natural human tendency to delay,
downplay, or distort the bad news. Unfortunately doing so may be unethical, if not illegal. In
recent years, numerous companies have been sued by shareholders, consumers, employees,
and government regulators for allegedly withholding or delaying negative information in such
areas as company finances, environmental hazards, and product safety. The stock brokerage
firm Morgan Stanley was recently fined $2.2 million for being late in filing required complaint
and misconduct reports 67 percent of the time. The pharmaceutical industry, under pressure
for years to disclose the results of failed drug trials, began to publish some results to a public
website (www.clinicalstudyresults.org) in 2004.When an organization has negative information
that affects the well-being of others, it has an ethical obligation to communicate that
information quickly, clearly, and completely.

This ethical obligation to communicate the facts also brings with it the responsibility to do so
promptly. Bad news often means that people need to make other plans, whether it's an
employee who needs to find a new job, consumers who need to stop using an unsafe product,
or a community that needs to find safe drinking water when its supply has become polluted.
The longer you wait to deliver bad news, the harder you make it for recipients to react and
respond.

Some negative news scenarios will also test your self-control and sense of etiquette. An
employee who lets you down, a supplier whose faulty parts damage your company's reputation,
a business partner who violates the terms of your contractsuch situations may tempt you to
respond with a personal attack. Keep in mind that negative messages can have a lasting impact
on both the people who receive them and the people who send them. As a communicator, it's
your responsi- bility to minimize the negative impact of your negative messages through careful
planning and sensitive, objective writing. As much as possible, focus on the actions or
conditions that led to the negative news, not on personal shortcomings or character issues. This
is how you can develop a reputation as a professional who can handle the toughest situations
with dignity.

Common examples of negative messages

In the course of your business career, you might write a wide variety of negative messages,
from announcing declines in revenue to giving negative performance reviews. The following
sections offer examples of the most common negative messages, dealing with topics such as
routine business matters, organizational news, and employment messages.

Sending Negative Messages on Routine Business Matters

Most companies receive numerous requests for information and donations or invitations to join
community or industry organizations. As you progress in your career and become more visible
in your industry and community, you will receive a wide variety of personal invitations to speak
at private or public functions or to volunteer your time for a variety of organizations. In addition,
routine business matters such as credit applications and requests for adjustment will often
require negative responses. Neither you nor your company will be able to say yes to every
request. So crafting negative responses quickly and graciously is an important skill for many
professionals.

Refusing Routine Requests

Routine requests may come both from groups and from individuals outside the company, as
well as from colleagues inside the organization. When you aren't able to meet the request, your
primary communication challenge is to give a clear negative response without generating
negative feelings or damaging either your personal reputation or the company's. As simple as
these messages may appear to be, they can test your skills as a communicator because you
often need to deliver negative information while maintaining a positive relationship with the
other party.

Saying no is a routine part of business and shouldn't reflect negatively on you. If you said yes to
every request that crossed your desk, you'd never get any work done. The direct approach will
work best for most routine negative responses. It not only helps your audience get your answer
quickly and move on to other possibilities but also helps you save time, since the direct
approach is often easier to write.
The indirect approach works best when the stakes are high for you or for your receiver, when
you or your company has an established relationship with the person making the request, or
when you're forced to decline a request that you might have said yes to in the past.

Consider the following points as you develop your routine negative messages:

Manage your time carefully. Ironically, as you move upward in your career, you'll receive more
and more requestsand have less and less time to answer them Focus your limited time on the
most-important relationships and requests, then get in the habit of crafting quick standard
responses for less important situations.

If the matter is closed, don't imply that it's still open. If your answer is truly no, don't use
phrases such as "Let me think about it and get back to you" as a way to delay saying no. Such
delays waste time for you and the other party.

Offer alternative ideas if you can. For example, if you need to turn down a speaking invitation,
you might offer the name of someone else who might be willing to speak in your place.
However, remember to use your time wisely in such matters. Unless the relationship is vital to
your company, you probably shouldn't spend time researching alternatives for the other person.

Don't imply that other assistance or information might be available if it isn't. Don't close your
negative message with a cheery but insincere "Please contact us if we can offer any additional
assistance." An empty attempt to mollify hostile feelings could simply lead to another request
you'll have to refuse.

Handling Bad News About Transactions

For any number of reasons, businesses must sometimes convey bad news concerning the sale
and delivery of products and services. Bad news about transactions is always unwelcome and
usually unexpected. These messages have three goals:

1. to modify the customer's expectation regarding the transaction,

2. to explain how you plan to resolve the situation, and
3. to repair whatever damage might've been done to the business relationship.

The specific content and tone of each message can vary widely, depending on the nature of the
transaction and your relationship with the customer. Telling an individual consumer that her
new sweater will be arriving a week later than you promised is a much simpler task than telling
General Motors that 30,000 transmission parts will be a week late, especially since you know
the company will be forced to idle a multimillion-dollar production facility as a result. Negative
messages concerning professional services can be particularly tricky since the person writing
such a message is often the same person who performs the service; as a result, these messages
can have an uncomfortably personal aspect to them.

Negative messages about transactions come in two basic flavors. If you haven't done anything
specific to set the customer's expectationssuch as promising deliver within 24 hoursthe
message simply needs to inform the customer, with little or no emphasis on apologies. (Bear in
mind, though, in this age of online ordering and overnight delivery, customers have been
conditioned to expect instantaneous fulfillment of nearly every transaction, even if you haven't
promised anything.) If the customer wasn't promised delivery by a certain date, you can simply
inform the customer when to expect the rest of the order. You end the message with words
that encourage future business.

If you did set the customer's expectations and now find you can't meet them, you task is more
complicated. In addition to resetting the customer's expectations and explaining how you'll
resolve the problem, you may need to include an element of apology. The scope of the apology
depends on the magnitude of the mistake. For the customer who ordered the sweater, a simple
apology, followed by a clear statement of when the sweater will arrive, would probably be
sufficient. An explanation is usually not required, although if a meaningful reason exists, and if
stating it will help smooth over the situation without sounding like a feeble excuse, by all means
include it. For example, if a storm closed the highways and prevented your receiving necessary
material, say so; however, if you simply received more orders than you expected and promised
more than you could deliver, the customer will be less sympathetic. For larger business-to-
business transactions, the customer may want an explanation of what went wrong in order to
determine whether you'll be able to perform as you promise in the future.

To help repair the damage to the relationship and encourage repeat business, many companies
offer discounts on future purchases, free merchandise, or other considerations. Even modest
efforts can go a long way to rebuilding the customer's confidence in your company. However,
you don't always have a choice. Business-to-business purchasing contracts often include
performance clauses that legally entitle the customer to discounts or other restitution in the
event of late delivery. Construction contracts sometime specify penalties for every day the
project extends past the original completion date. In such cases, a simple apology is clearly
inadequate.

Refusing Claims and Requests for Adjustment

Almost every customer who makes a claim or requests an adjustment is emotionally involved;
therefore, the indirect method is usually the best approach for a refusal. Your job as a writer is
to avoid accepting responsibility for the unfortunate situation and yet avoid blaming or
accusing the customer. To steer clear of these pitfalls, pay special attention to the tone of your
letter.

A tactful and courteous letter can build goodwill even while denying the claim. For example,
Village Electronics recently received a letter from Daniel Lindmeier, who purchased a digital
video camera a year ago. He wrote to say that the unit doesn't work correctly and to inquire
about the warranty. Lindmeier believes that the warranty covers one year, when it actually
covers only three months:

Dear Mr. Lindmeir,

Thank you for your letter about the battery release switch on your JVC digital
camera. Village Electronics believes, as you do, that electronic equipment
should be built to last. That's why we stand behind our products with a 90-
day warranty.

Even though your JVC camera is a year old and therefore out of warranty, we
can still help. Please package your camera carefully and ship it to our store in
Hannover. Include your name, address, phone number, and a brief
description of the malfunction, along with a check for $35 for an initial
examination. After assessing the unit, we will give you a written estimate of
the needed parts and labor. Then just let us know whether you want us to
make the repairs either by phone or by filling out the prepaid card we'll
send you with the estimate.
If you choose to repair the unit, the $35 will be applied toward your bill, the
balance of which is payable by check or credit card. JVC also has service
centers available in your area. If you prefer to take the unit to one of them,
please see the enclosed list.

Thanks again for inquiring about our service. I've also enclosed a catalog of
our latest cameras and accessories, in which you'll find information about
JVC/s "Trade-Up Special." If you're ready to move up to one of the newest
cameras, JVC will offer a generous trade-in allowance on your current model.


Sincerely,

Walter Brodie, Customer Service Manager


Buffers the bad news by emphasizing a point the reader and writer both agree on
Soothes the reader with a positive alternative
States bad news indirectly, tactfully leaving the repair decision to the customer
Closes by blending sales promotion with an acknowledgme nt of the customer's
interests

When refusing a claim, avoid language that might have a negative impact on the reader.
Instead, demonstrate that you understand and have considered the complaint carefully. Then,
even if the claim is unreasonable, rationally explain why you are refusing the request.
Remember, don't apologize and don't hide behind "company policy." End the letter on a
respectful and action- oriented note.

If you deal with enough customers over a long enough period, chances are you'll get a request
that is particularly outrageous. You may even be positive that the person is being dishonest.
You must resist the temptation to call the person a liar, crook, swindler, or an incompetent. If
you don't, you could be sued for defamation, a false statement that tends to damage
someone's character or reputation. (Written defamation is called libel; spoken defamation is
called slander.) Someone suing for defamation must prove

If you wish to express your own personal opinions about a sensitive matter, use your own
stationery (not company letterhead), and don't include your job title or position. Just be aware
that by doing so, you take responsibility for your own opinions, you are no longer acting within
the scope of your duties with the company, and you are personally liable for any resulting legal
action.

Provide accurate information and stick to the facts. Never let anger or malice motivate
your messages.
Consult your company's legal department or an attorney whenever you think message
might have legal consequences.
Communicate honestly, and make sure that what you're saying is what you believe to be
true.
Emphasize a desire for a good relationship in the future.
Most important, remember that nothing positive can come out of antagonizing a customer,
even a customer who has verbally abused you or your colleagues. Reject the claim and move on
to the next challenge.

Sending Negative Organizational News

In addition to routine matters involving individual customers and other parties, you may
encounter special cases that require you to issue negative announcement regarding some
aspect of your products, services, or operations. Most of these scenarios have unique
challenges that must be addressed on a case-by-case basis, but the general advice offered here
applies to all of them. One key difference among a these messages is whether you have time to
plan the announcement. The following section addresses those negative messages that you do
have time to plan for, the "Communicating in a Crisis" offers advice on communication during
emergencies.

Communicating Under Normal Circumstances

Even the best-run companies stumble on occasion, sometimes through their own actions and
sometimes through the actions of someone else. At other times, the company needs to make
decisions that are unpopular with customers (price increases, product cancellation, product
recalls), with employees (layoffs, benefit reductions, plant closings), or with other groups
(relocating to a new community, replacing a board member, canceling contract with a supplier).
The common characteristic of all these messages is the need to send negative announcements
to one or more groups of people, rather than to a specific individual. Because you're using a
single announcement to reach a variety of people, each of whom may react differently, these
messages need to be planned with great care. A relatively simple announcement, such as a
price increase, needs to be communicated to both customers on the outside and your sales
force on the inside, neither of whom is likely to welcome the news.

A more significant event, such as a plant closing, can affect thousands of people in dozens of
organizations. Employees need to find new jobs or get training in new skills. School districts
may have to adjust budgets and staffing levels if many of your employees plan to move in
search of new jobs. Your customers need to find new suppliers. Your suppliers may need to find
other customers of their own. Government agencies may need to react to everything from a
decrease in tax revenues to an influx of people seeking unemployment benefits.

When making negative announcements, follow these guidelines:

Match your approach to the situation. A modest price increase won't shock most
customers, so the direct approach is fine. However, canceling a product that people
 count on is another matter, so building up to the news via the indirect approach might
be better.
Consider the unique needs of each group. As the plant closing example illustrates,
various people have different information needs.
Give each audience enough time to react as needed. Most organizations operate on
quarterly or annual budgeting cycles and need time to react to news. Employees,
particularly higher-level executives, may need as much as six months or more to find
new jobs.
Plan the sequence of multiple announcements. In addition to giving each group enough
time, some groups will expect to be informed before others. For instance, if employees
hear about a plant closing on the evening news or from a real estate agent, their trust in
management will likely be destroyed. Tell insiders and the most-affected groups first.
Give yourself enough time to plan and manage a response. Chances are you're going to
be hit with complaints, questions, or product returns after you make your
announcement, so make sure you're ready with answers and additional follow-up
information.
Look for positive angles but don't exude false optimism. Laying off 10,000 people does
not give them "an opportunity to explore new horizons." It's a traumatic event that can
affect employees, their families, and their communities for years. Phony optimism
would only make a bad situation worse. The best you may be able to do is to thank
people for their past support and to wish them well in the future. On the other hand, if
eliminating a seldom-used employee benefit means the company doesn't have to
deduct additional money from paychecks every month, by all means promote that
positive angle.
Minimize the element of surprise whenever possible. This step can require considerable
judgment on your part, but if you recognize that current trends are pointing toward
negative results sometime in the near future, it's often better to let your audience know
ahead of time. For instance, a common complaint in many shareholder lawsuits is a
claim that the company didn't let investors know business was deteriorating until it was
too late.
Seek expert advice if you're not sure. Many significant negative announcements have
important technical, financial, or legal elements that require the expertise of lawyers,
accountants, or other specialists. If you're not sure how to handle every aspect of the
announcement, ask.
Negative situations will test your skills both as a communicator and as a leader. People
may turn to you and ask, "OK, so things are bad; now what do we do?" Inspirational
leaders try to seize such opportunities as a chance to reshape or reinvigorate the
organization, and they offer encouragement to those around them.
Communicating in a Crisis

Some of the most critical instances of business communication occur during internal or external
crises, which range from incident of product tampering to industrial accidents, crimes or
scandals involving company employees, on-site hostage situations, or terrorist attacks. During a
crisis, employees, their families, the surrounding community, and others will demand
information plus, rumors can spread unpredictably and uncontrollably. You can also expect the
news media to descend quickly, asking questions of anyone they can find.

Although you can't predict these events, you can prepare for them. Companies that respond
quickly with the information people need tend to fare much better in these circumstances than
those who go into hiding or release bits and pieces of uncoordinated or inconsistent
information. Companies such as Johnson & Johnson (in a Tylenol-tampering incident) emerged
from crisis with renewed respect for their decisive action and responsive communication. In
contrast, Exxon continues to be cited as a classic example of how not to communicate in a
crisis-more than a quarter century after one of its tankers spilled 250,000 barrels of oil into
Alaska's Prince William Sound. The company frustrated the media and the public with sketchy,
inconsistent information and an adamant refusal to accept responsibility for the full extent of
the environmental disaster. The company's CEO didn't talk to the media for nearly a week;
other executives made contradic- tory statements, which further undermined public trust. The
mistakes had a lasting impact on the company's reputation and consumers' willingness to buy
its products.

The key to successful communication efforts during a crisis is having a crisis management plan.
In addition to defining operational procedures to deal with the crisis itself, the plan also
outlines communication tasks and responsibilities, which can include everything from media
contacts to news release templates. The plan should clearly specify which people are
authorized to speak for the company, contact information for all key executives, and a list of
the media outlets and technologies that will be used to disseminate information. At Baptist
Hospital in hurricane-prone Pensacola, Florida, human resources director Celeste Norris and her
colleagues plan for every contingency. For instance, the walkie-talkies they keep on hand
became the only communication link throughout the facility when Hurricane Ivan took out both
electrical power and cell phone towers. Many companies now go one step further by regularly
testing crisis communications in realistic practice drills lasting a full day or more. Anticipation
and planning are key to successful communication in a crisis.

Sending Negative Employment Messages

Most managers must convey bad news about individual employees from time to time. You can
use the direct approach when writing to job applicants or when communicating with other
companies to send a negative reference to a prospective employer. But it's best to use the
indirect approach when giving negative performance reviews to employees; they will most
certainly be emotionally involved. In addition, choose the media you use for these messages
with care. E-mail and other written forms let you control the message and avoid personal
confrontation, but one-on- one conversations are more sensitive and facilitate questions and
answers.

Refusing Requests for Recommendation Letters

Even though many states have passed laws to protect employers who provide open and honest
job references for former employees, legal hazards persist. That's why many former employers
still refuse to write recommendation lettersespecially for people whose job performance has
been unsatisfactory. When sending refusals to prospective employers, your message may be
brief and direct:

Our human resources department has authorized me to confirm that Yolanda

Johnson worked for Tandy, Inc., for three years, from June 2003 to July 2007.
Best of luck as you interview administrative applicants.

This message doesn't need to say, "We cannot comply with your request." It simply gets down
to the business of giving readers the information that is allowable. Refusing an applicant's
direct request for a recommendation letter is another matter. Any refusal to cooperate may
seem a personal slight and a threat to the applicant's future. Diplomacy and preparation help
readers accept your refusal:

Thank you for letting me know about your job opportunity with Coca-Cola. Your internship
there and the MBA you've worked so hard to earn should place you in an excellent position to
land the marketing job.

Although we do not send out formal recommendations here at PepsiCo, I can certainly send
Coca-Cola a confirmation of your employment dates. And if you haven't considered this already,
be sure to ask several of your professors to write evaluations of your marketing skills. Best of
luck to you in your career.

This letter deftly and tactfully avoids hurting the reader's feelings, because it makes positive
comments about the readers recent activities, implies the refusal, suggests an alternative, and
uses a polite close.

Rejecting Job Applications

Tactfully telling job applicants that you won't be offering them employment is another frequent
communication challenge. But don't let the difficulty stop you from communicating the bad
news. Failing to respond to applications is a shoddy business practice that will harm your
company's reputation. At the same time, poorly written rejection letters have negative
consequences, ranging from the loss of qualified candidates for future openings to the loss of
potential customers (not only the rejected applicants but also their friends and family). Poorly
phrased rejection letters can even invite legal troubles. When delivering bad news to job
applicants, follow three guidelines:

Choose your approach carefully. Experts disagree on whether a direct or an indirect approach is
best for rejection letters. On the one hand, job applicants know they won't get many of the
positions they apply for, so negative news during a job search is not generally a shock. On the
other hand, people put their hopes and dreams on the line when they apply for work, so job
applicants have a deep emotional investment in the process, which is one of the factors to
consider in using an indirect approach. If you opt for a direct approach, try not to be brutally
blunt in the opening. Tell your reader that the position has been filled, rather than saying, "Your
application has been rejected." If you opt for an indirect approach, be careful not to mislead
the reader or delay the bad news for more than a sentence or two. A simple "Thank you for
considering ABC as the place to start your career" is a quick, courteous buffer that shows your
company is flattered to be considered. Don't mislead the reader in your buffer by praising his or
her qualifications in a way that could suggest good news is soon to follow.

Clearly state why the applicant was not selected. Make your rejection less personal by stating
that you hired someone with more experience or whose qualifications match the position
requirements more closely.

Close by suggesting alternatives. If you believe the applicant is qualified, mention other
openings within your company. You might suggest professional organizations that could help
the applicant find employment. Or you might simply mention that the applicant's resume will
be considered for future openings. Any of these positive suggestions may help the applicant be
less disappointed and view your company more positively.

A rejection letter need not be long. Remember, sending a well-written form letter that follows
these three guidelines is better than not sending one at all. After all, the applicant wants to
know only one thing: Did I land the job? Your brief message conveys the information clearly and
with tactful consideration for the applicant's feelings. After Carol DeCicco interviewed with
Bradley Jackson, she was hopeful about receiving job offer. Everything went well, and her
resume was in good shape. The e-mail below was drafted by Marvin Fichter to communicate
the bad news to DeCiccco. The e-mail helps DeCicco understand that (1) she would have been
hired if she'd had more tax experience and (2) she shouldn't be discouraged.

Dear Ms. DeCicco:

Thanks for considering Bradley Jackson as the place to launch your career in
accounting.

In light of the reporting complexities now imposed on the accounting
profession by Sarbanes-Oxley and other recent legislation, the executive
team has decided it would be wise to bolster our skill base with someone
who has extensive industry experience. We have therefore filled the position
with a more experienced candidate.

Your resume and credentials show you to be a deserving candidate for entry
level positions. Your academic record and previous work experience certainly
indicate your willingness to work hard. Those of us who had the opportunity
to talk with you believe that your ability to communicate will certainly help
you achieve an excellent position in a recognized accounting firm.

In the meantime, we would like to keep your information on file for six
months, in case a position requiring less experience opens up in the future.

I wish you the best of luck as you begin your new career.

Sincerely,

Marvin R. Fichter

Human Resources Director

Buffers the upcoming bad news with a sincere thanks
Moderates the bad news with honest, specific encouragement
 Sets the stage for bad news by explaining the context in which the decision was made.
Presents the bad news as a logical consequence of the decision making process
Closes in a respectfully and positively

Giving Negative Performance Reviews

A performance review is a manager's evaluation of an employee and may be formal or informal.

Few other communication tasks require such a broad range of skills and strategy as those
needed for performance reviews. The main purpose of these reviews is to improve employee
performance by (1) emphasizing and clarifying job requirements, (2) giving employees feedback
on their efforts toward fulfilling those requirements, and (3) guiding continued efforts by
developing a plan of action, which includes rewards and opportunities. In addition to improving
employee performance, performance reviews help companies set organizational standards and
communicate organizational values.

Positive and negative performance reviews share several characteristics: The tone is objective
and unbiased, the language is nonjudgmental, and the focus is problem resolution. Also, to
increase objectivity, more organizations are giving their employees feedback from multiple
sources. In these "360-degree reviews," employees get feedback from all directions in the
organization: above, below, and horizontally.

It's difficult to criticize employees face to face, and it's just as hard to include criticism in written
performance evaluations. Nevertheless, if you fire an employee for incompetence and the
performance evaluations are all positive, the employee can sue your company, maintaining you
had no cause to terminate employment. Also, your company could be sued for negligence if an
injury is caused by an employee who received a negative evaluation but received no corrective
action (such as retraining). So as difficult as it may be, make sure your performance evaluations
are well balanced and honest.

When you need to give a negative performance review, follow these guidelines:

Confront the problem right away. Avoiding performance problems only makes them
worse. Moreover, if you don't document problems when they occur, you may make it
more difficult to terminate employment later on, if the situation comes to that.
Plan your message. Be clear about your concerns, and include examples of the
employee's specific actions. Think about any possible biases you may have, and get
feedback from others. Collect and verify all relevant facts (both strengths and
weaknesses).
Deliver the message in private. Whether in writing or in person, be sure to address the
performance problem privately. Don't send performance reviews by e-mail or fax. If
you're reviewing an employee's performance face to face, conduct that review in a
 meeting arranged expressly for that purpose, and consider holding that meeting in a
conference room, the employee's office, or some other neutral area.
Focus on the problem. Discuss the problems caused by the employee's behavior
(without attacking the employee). Compare the employee's performance with what's
expected, with company goals, or with job requirements (not with the performance of
other employees). Identify the consequences of continuing poor performance, and show
that you're committed to helping solve the problem.
Ask for a commitment from the employee. Help the employee understand that planning
for and making improvements are the employee's responsibility. However, finalize
decisions jointly so that you can be sure any action to be taken is achievable. Set a
schedule for improvement and for following up with evaluations of that improvement.

Even if your employee's performance has been disappointing, you would do well to begin by
mentioning some good points in your performance review. Then clearly and tactfully state how
the employee can better meet the responsibilities of the job. If the performance review is to be
effective, be sure to suggest ways that the employee can improve. For example, instead of only
telling an employee that he damaged some expensive machinery, suggest that he take a
refresher course in the correct operation of that machinery. The goal is to help the employee
succeed.

(Source: Courtland Bovee and John Thill, Excellence in Business Communication

Person Prentice Hall)

Activities

Activity One

Find a bad news message and analyze it in class.