U MARK ROSENTHAL ON MONA LISA SMILE

U 10 THINGS THEY WONT TELL YOU IN FILM SCHOOL

Serving Screenwriters Since 1989

Writers
on Writing:
Guillermo Arriaga John August
(21 Grams) (Big Fish)

Debut Writer Eric Guggenheims Miracle

Creating Subtext The Megahit What Software is
in Your Dialogue Movies of 2003 Right for You?
VOL. 10, NO. 1
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 January/February 2004
Ta b l e o f C o n t e n t s

PHOTO: Zade Rosenthal 2003

Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc.
F E AT U R E
42. Adapting Big Fish
By John August
All Rights Reserved.

John August faced many challenges while adapting Big Fish, not the least of which
was the close parallel of one of the main characters to the writers own life. August
details his struggle to capture the fantasy of Daniel Wallaces enchanting novel and
the difficulties of structuring a film full of flashbacks and voiceover and the evolution
of the last-minute scene he wrote on hotel stationary that brought a supporting
character out of the shadows.

DEVELOPMENT CRAFT
14. Spec Sale Spotlight: Zack Morrissette and Jason Harris 20. Independents: Its a Set-Up
By Rita Cook By William C. Martell
Frustrated over countless dead-end film projects, Zack Morrissette and Jason Your first act sets up everything that follows in your scriptit lays the groundwork
Harris decided to self-publish a comic book. One year later, as luck would for your story. Columnist Bill Martell closely examines the beginning of a screenplay
have it, the first-time scribes are taking their Bad Guy to the big screen. and the art of the set-up.

16. Who You Know: Aletha Spann 24. Software Review: Which Screenwriting Program is Right for You?
By John Scott Lewinski By John Scott Lewinski
Mosaic Media Group creative executive Aletha Spann describes her ambition to Fortunately, for todays screenwriters, the various formatting software packages on
develop unique urban stories and tap into fresh talent. the market are designed to make writing your script as easy as merely typing. Decide
for yourself which program is right for you.
36. Script to Screen: Mona Lisa Smile
By David S. Cohen 28. Eccen-Tricks
Mark Rosenthal discusses his and Lawrence Konners female-driven drama By Bob Verini
Mona Lisa Smile, specifically the evolution of the film from Any comedy is enriched by colorful, wacky walk-ons, but theyve got to be more than
its original concept to the final product on the big screen. just colorful and wacky. Past and current masters can teach us how to bring stunning
minor characters to life.
60. Ten Things They Wont Tell You in Film School
By Staton Rabin 32. The Great Idea: The Feature Film and the Making of Miracle
When it comes to selling your script, sometimes it pays to bend the rules. The By Kate McCallum
key is knowing exactly when and how to do it. Writer and veteran industry story In this first article of the series, scr(i)pt follows debut screenwriter Eric Guggenheim
analyst Staton Rabin gives essential real-world tips on guerrilla marketing and from his initial idea, through the development stages and finally to the making of
explains the critical difference between being persistent and being a pest. the feature film Miracle.

72. The Megahit Movies of 2003 56. The Small Screen: Nip/TuckA Slice of the New Americana
By Richard Michaels Stefanik By Rich Whiteside
Did the story design paradigm for creating popular Hollywood movies Ryan Murphy, Nip/Tuck creator and showrunning executive producer, talks about
change during the summer of 2003? developing his hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners series and about pushing the writers
room to be bold, extreme and emotionally shocking in their writing.
76. Meet the Reader: Conventional ClichsPart Two
By Ray Morton 64. The Hill With It: What Should You Write?
Columnist Ray Morton continues his exploration of the conventions and By John Hill
clichs of the major screenwriting genres. This month, the You may be positive youre into screenwriting and film, but maybe you should be
focus is on Drama and Comedy. open to writing novels or plays as well. Columnist John Hill offers this simple test.

68. Writing Between the Lines: Dialogue and Subtext

WRITERS ON WRITING By Robin Russin
Dialogue isnt just what your characters are actually saying. Writer and professor
18. The Birth of a Partnership Robin Russin examines how to make your dialogue more effective by having
By Dan Dworkin & Jay Beattie characters mean more than they say.
Working screenwriters Dan Dworkin and Jay Beattie chronicle their
experiences after selling two scripts: one for television and one for film. The scr(i)pt is published bimonthly in January, March, May, July, September and November by
Forum, Inc. 5638 Sweet Air Rd., Baldwin, MD 21013-0007. All correspondence or phone calls
result is an honest look into the development process for film versus related to subscription, back or missing issues or technical questions should be directed to: scr(i)pt
television from the writers point of view. 5638 Sweet Air Rd., Baldwin, MD 21013-0007, tel: 410.592.3466, fax: 410.592.8062.
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By Guillermo Arriaga Remit funds in U.S. dollars. SINGLE COPIES: $6.95 plus $1.50 postage (add $.50 postage for
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Veteran screenwriter Guillermo Arriaga carefully details the idea, structure Baldwin, MD and additional entry points. POSTMASTER, SEND ADDRESS CHANGES TO: scr(i)pt,
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story of love that he hopes will deeply touch the people who see it.

52. Staying In
By David H. Steinberg STOCK FOOTAGE
For any writer whose been fortunate enough to crack the world of 4. Editors Note 12. Dr. Format 83. Classifieds
professional screenwriting, the next step is learning how to stay there. 6. The Buzz 78. Sales Force 84. Merlins Musings
Scribe David Steinberg (American Pie 2, Slackers) provides his Ten
Commandments of maintaining a screenwriting career. Cover art courtesy of 2003 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
"_^cnilmhin_#
Miracle
With this issue, scr(i)pt is proud to introduce a new column, aptly titled
The Great Idea. The column is a chance for screenwriters to hear the
EDITORIAL / CIRCULATION OFFICE
story of a writer who has had an original idea, sold that idea and achieved
5638 Sweet Air Road
the apex of screenwriting glorythe production of his script. How did the Baldwin, MD 21013-0007
idea come to him? How did he sell it? What helped him clinch the sale? Tel: 410-592-3466 Fax: 410-592-8062
www.scriptmag.com
What changed during development and production? All questions aspiring
Subscriptions only call: 888-245-2228
screenwriters would ask a writer who has brought a project from the initial
idea all the way to the nished lm. We look forward to exploring those
questions with feature lm and television writers who have successfully
Executive Publisher David C. Geatty
pitched marketable ideas to producers and studios.
Publisher James D. Kellett
As we worked to bring this column together, the writer Kate McCallum and I decided that our inaugural article
would be about a feature-lm writer who had made his rst sale and stayed on the project from the deal Editor-in-Chief Shelly Mellott
to the nal release of the lmand who ultimately received a written by credit. A look at the many lms Managing Editor Andrew J. Schneider
being released in January and February yielded very few such projects. While we celebrated Eric Guggenheims
success in championing an idea about which even his agents were initially skeptical, we lamented the fact that East Coast Editor Sally B. Merlin
Erics experience was such a unique one.
West Coast Editor William C. Martell

After we chose Miracle as our subject, Kate and I then decided that The Great Idea would focus not only Editor at Large James A. Kleman
on the development of an idea which had merit as a story in and of itself, but also on the development of
Associate Editor Ann Klarich
an idea which would ultimately make a good movie (read: bring viewers to the theater and make money). It
so happens that Erics great idea took some serious convincing of his agents and manager, of the production Event Correspondent Deborah Dyke
company and then of the studio for Miracle to nd its way to the screen. It was the writers tireless efforts to
pitch his story time and time againto hone his idea and to show its value not only as a lm but also as an Legal Editor Jay G. Grubb
investmentthat got his project bought and made. Eric was able to successfully combine art and commerce
Marketing Manager Lisa DiPaula
in order to make his sale. That skill is a prerequisite to succeeding in the industry.
Design Parkton Art, CVC
Screenwriting, more than any other writing form, is unusual in that it is driven and dened by commerce.
Illustrator Lisa DiPaula
You may have a great idea, and you may subsequently write an excellent script, but your idea must be
picked up by a production company and distributed by a studio. These things cannot happen unless the
producer and studio feel that they will receive many times more money from this would-be lm than they
would have to invest. Senior Writers
David S. Cohen, Rita Cook,
It is our hope that scr(i)pt readers will learn that their own great idea will require more than just a compelling Debra L. Eckerling, Jay S. Grubb, Esq.,
story. There is a sad lack of original material being produced in this industry. So many projects are based upon John Hill, John Woochong Kim,
something else that has already made money in some other form. The truth is that very few of the studios John Scott Lewinski, William C. Martell,
Sally Merlin, Ray Morton, Staton Rabin,
want to bank on unproven ideas. Part of your job as a screenwriter is to prove that your idea is indeed a great
Diana Saenger, David Trottier,
one, that people will come to the theater to see your story play out on the screen. The Great Idea will give
Bob Verini, Rich Whiteside,
you insight into that very process and, hopefully, help you to write and sell your own miracle.
Rachel Wimberly
Shelly Mellott
Circulation Director
William Wood

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 CONTESTS
MARCH APRIL
scr(i)pt magazines Open Door Contest Moondance International Film Festival
sponsored by Writers & Artists Agency PRIZE: Submissions for the Screenplay categories
PRIZE: $3,000 and consideration for are eligible for the Spirit of Moondance Award,
the Columbine Award and the Dolphin Award.
The Writers Youll Wish representation by Writers & Artists Agency.
DEADLINE: March 1, 2004 DEADLINE: April 1, 2004
You Knew When ... ENTRY FEE: $45 ENTRY FEE: $25-$75
For more information, please contact: For more information, please contact:
Open Door Contests Elizabeth English
BRIAN D. YOUNG 5638 Sweet Air Road Moondance International Film Festival
Brian D. Young Baldwin, MD 21013 970 Ninth Street
began writing three Web: www.scriptmag.com Boulder, CO 80302
years ago. He knew E-mail: [email protected] Web: www.moondancelmfestival.com
he made the right Phone: (888) 245-2228 E-mail: [email protected]
Phone: (303) 545-0202
choice after his
International Family Film Festival
first scripts were all PRIZE: Winners in this competition will receive Scriptapalooza Screenwriting
finalists in different a plaque, and all the nalists will receive certi- Competition
screenwriting con- cates at the Awards Ceremony. A Screenwriters PRIZE: First-place winner receives a prize of
tests, including scr(i)pts Open Door Showcase will spotlight the nalists in the Feature $10,000. The top 13 runners-up receive soft-
Length and Short Format categories with a profes- ware from Screenplay Systems.
Contest.
sional reading of one scene from each script. DEADLINE: April 15, 2004
Youngs first sale was the short DEADLINE: March 15, 2004 ENTRY FEE: $40-$50
Last Confession which was shot in ENTRY FEE: $60 (features); $30 (shorts) For more information, please contact:
September, 2003. His first produced For more information, please contact: Mark Andrushko (President and CEO)
credit was another short made in July, International Family Film Festival Scriptapalooza
P.O. Box 801507 7775 Sunset Blvd., Suite 200
2003 in London, England. Both will
Santa Clarita, CA 91380-1507 Hollywood, CA 90046
be released soon. Shortly after the Web: www.iflmfest.org Web: www.scriptapalooza.com
sale, things rolled quickly. Within a E-mail: [email protected] E-mail: [email protected]
few months, Young had optioned or Phone: (661) 257-3131 Phone: (323) 654-5809
sold seven scripts, and been hired for
For inclusion in scr(i)pt magazines contest listings, Actors Choice Awards
a rewrite, to both U.S. and Canadian PRIZE: Winning scenes and their writers
e-mail your news and contact information to:
producers. He credits all of his [email protected] contact information will be forwarded to the
options and sales to Inktip.com producers who attend the seminar, and winners
His first produced feature is the will receive Final Draft screenwriting software.
romantic comedy Love for Rent. WEB WORTHY DEADLINE: April 28, 2004
ENTRY FEE: $25 plus SCSFE conference attendance
It was filmed in Los Angeles in Absolute Writes The Screenwriting Spot provides links For more information, please contact:
November, 2003 and is due out in to other screenwriting web sites, Hollywood directories, Larry Stouffer (Executive Director)
the spring. Another feature, Zackarys jobs, studios, services and much more. For those who Actors Choice Awards
Goal, a heartwarming hockey story are new to the business, there is a glossary of important c/o The Screenwriting Conference in Santa Fe
about a boy searching for his father, screenwriting terms. For the more experienced pro, there P.O. Box 29762
are great articles, columns and interviews by industry Santa Fe, NM 87592
is in development with Crescent Web: www.scsfe.com
Entertainment in Vancouver. pros to explore. From lm and video reviews to agent
E-mail: [email protected]
lists and contract samples, The Screenwriting Spot is
Young is a self-taught writer. He Phone: (505) 424-1501
geared towards screenwriters of all levels of experience.
hones his skills by reading successful
The site also provides how-to articles, humor columns, a
scripts and writing, writing and re-
writing. Youngs favorite characters
newsletter with weekly giveaways (including things like YOU BE THE EDITOR
copies of the Hollywood Creative Directory) and a Brain Fill in our reader survey and be
tend to be kids or teenagers, but Picking column where screenwriters can ask anything entered to win a scr(i)pt polo
his scripts have crossed a number of their resident expert Blake Snyder, who wrote Blank Last issues
shirt. We want to hear
of different genresfrom rom-com Check and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. The webmaster from yougripes, kudos, winner was
to thriller. also passes along calls for screenplays in the newsletter. suggestions and com- David Kachoui of
The writer is currently working The site offers free links to screenwriters who have their ments are all welcomed! New York, NY
on projects with both Canadian own web sites, and is host to an active message board for
and U.S. producers: a family story, screenwriters. So, if youve been looking for a web site VISIT US ONLINE
that has just about everything a screenwriter could need
another rom-com and a teen com- Every month 10 new FREE articles
or want, then check out Screenwriting Spot. You wont
edy. Brian Young can be reached at: about screenwriting are posted. Youll also
be disappointed.
[email protected] nd up-to-date event listings, links, software,
www.absolutewrite.com/screenwriting/screenwriting.htm
books, a searchable article archive and more.

6 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 Cyrus Nowrasteh won the 2003 Pen Award for labor union in America. The film is set in 1925 as the labor movement was
the second year in a row for 10,000 Black Men starting to erupt across the nation. A young porter named Ashley Totten and
Named George. He is the first writer to receive Philip Randolph, a failed labor organizer and independent newspaper editor,
back-to-back Pen Center USA Literary Awards. Last try to achieve the impossible by taking on the powerful Pullman Company
year he received the 2002 Pen Center USA Literary as they struggle to organize the Pullman car porters.
Award for the teleplay The Day Reagan Was Shot, which he Presently, Nowrasteh is developing a four-hour mini-series on John
also directed. Dillinger for the USA Network, which he will write and direct. He is also
His compelling and superbly crafted drama 10,000 Black developing 3rd Down & Forever with Chris Columbus 1492 Productions,
Men Named George depicts the formation of the first black which will star Josh Lucas, and Crimes of War for Radar Pictures.

WHAT
WH0
Five Top Managers Breaking New Writers SCREENWRITING Conferences and Festivals

WHERE
Where screenwriters will be seen in January and February
JEREMY BELL at FOURSIGHT ENTERTAINMENT - Bell is one of four
partners at Foursight Entertainment, and this team takes their job seri-
SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL
ously. Their concentration is on young professionals and new writers,
January 15 - 25
and they represent filmmakers and properties in television and motion
This premiere showcase for independent lms takes place
pictures. Founded by four USC students, Foursight is a company to in Park City, Utah. Ofcial festival venues such as the Film-
watch. Bell likes his job and it shows. He is on the lookout for new maker Lodge, Digital Center and Sundance House offer
writers, and he believes in seeking out untapped talent. screenwriters an opportunity to hear panel discussions and
AARON KAPLAN at KAPLAN/PERRONE - Kaplan and his partner mingle with industry professionals. Each year, a Dramatic
Competition Jury honors a screenwriter(s) with the Waldo
Sean Perrone both started out at the bigger agencies but soon realized
Salt Screenwriting Award. Categories of lms exhibited:
management was a good fit for them. We could focus our efforts on Documentary and Dramatic Feature Competition, Ameri-
a smaller list of clients and really help them explore and navigate the can Showcase & American Spectrum, Frontier, Park City at
business, Kaplan says. While he does look for new writers, Kaplan Midnight, Native Forum, Short Films, Premiere Independent,
wants the scribes that have a second and third script in them as well. World Cinema Features and World Cinema Documentaries.
TREVOR ENGELSON at MISSION MANAGEMENT - Mission http://festival.sundance.org
Management is Engelson and his partner Nick Osborne. Osborne was
the vice president at Phoenix Pictures and founded Underground Films SLAMDANCE FILM FESTIVAL
two years ago. Engelson came in as an assistant and soon became a January 17 - 24
partner launching Mission Management. We just look for the perfect Slamdance is a world-renowned Independent Film Fes-
tival that lives up to its mantra, By Filmmakers, for
combination of talent and drive, Engelson says. If the guys dont see Filmmakers. The 2004 Screenplay Competition fea-
themselves getting along with a client on a personal and professional tures a comprehensive coverage service, an ongoing
level, then they let go. They recently got their new clients, The Brothers Screenwriting Workshop Series, staged readings of the
Hageman, a job writing for Steven Spielberg. top 10 scripts and an awards show extravaganza held at
MASON NOVICK who works with BENDERSPINK - Novick was the WGAw.
an agent at International Creative Management before switching http://www.slamdance.com
gears and getting into management. He feels management is more
his style. I like to be able to work with new writers and to help UCLA EXTENSION WRITERS STUDIO
people develop stories and ideas; you dont have the time to do that February 5 - 8
in an agency, he says. Novick looks for writers who are passionate The UCLA Extension Writers
Studio presents four days of
about their genre, regardless of what it is. As he says, all screenwriters intensive writing workshops
started the same way: They wrote a good script and someone took in Westwood, California. The
notice. Novick has now dedicated himself to becoming one of those Writers Studio brings together a
people who makes the Hollywood execs take notice. community of aspiring ction writers, creative non-ction
MIKKEL BONDESEN at BONDESEN-GRAUP - This company is one of writers and screenwriters to study with some of todays
most accomplished writers and teachers. Designed for writ-
the youngest management and production companies in Hollywood, ers of all levels, the Writers Studio offers an immersion in
yet they have already been named one of the top 100 Hollywood the craft designed to generate serious work in a supportive
Rising Stars by Fade In: magazine. For three years, Bondesen-Graup and stimulating environment under expert and constructive
has directed their focus on designing a career that would fit their cli- guidance. Each workshop is taught by an accomplished nov-
ents goals and make them more money than they would without elist, non-ction writer or screenwriter and is the equivalent
of a 10-week, three-unit course which participants have the
a manager, Bondesen says. Successful producers as well, these guys option of taking for a grade.
know how to do their job. Were in the business of not only creating http://www.uclaextension.edu/writers/
careers, but maintaining them, Bondesen concludes.

8 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 NEW VOICES IF THEY CAN
Every month young screenwriters from around the country sell DO IT ...
their rst script in Hollywood. scr(i)pt magazine will introduce you by John Kim
to these hot, new writers in a brief format that lets you get inside First-time writers are the lifeblood of the film industry
the head of Hollywoods next award winners. and often the best hope for fresh, innovative stories
by Rita Cook in any film year. Below is a brief listing of upcoming
filmssome dramatic, others comedic, but all authored
by debut screenwriters. If these writers can break into
Name: Juliet Snowden into peoples hands. We have a the industry ...
and Stiles White great friend who helped get our
Live in: Los Angeles first script out to some agents ... First Daughter
Release Date: January 9, 2004
Script Title: The Waiting and they all passed on us. We Showing once again how original Hollywood devel-
How You Identify With thought that was it. But then the opment is, this is the rst of two lms about 18-year-
The Main Character: The script got passed around a little old daughters of the President of the United States to
be released this month. (The other project, starring
two main characters in The Waiting are bit, and a couple of guys read it who were Mandy Moore, is scheduled to be released under
married ... and were married. Other than about to start their own management/ the title Chasing Liberty.) Both originally titled First
that, theyre pretty different from us. These production company and wanted to work Daughter, this version stars Katie Holmes and is the
rst produced script by actor Jerry OConnell (Stand
characters are at a unique moment in their with us. That was the real beginning of our by Me, Scream 2). OConnell was originally slated to
lives together. But like that of all couples, careers even though a sale didnt come play the Secret Service Agent assigned to protect the
their relationship is constantly being tested. until a while later. presidents daughter, but he stepped aside to take
an executive producer credit on the project. First
Something is threatening to pull them Advice: Listen when people give feedback Daughter had a rewrite by Jessica Bendinger (Bring
apart, and its up to them to make things on your work and dont get defensive. They It On, co-writer of The Truth About Charlie) and was
work. THATS something we can identify might not always have the correct answer directed by Forest Whitaker.
with ... always working on your relation- on how to fix the problem; but when 50 First Dates
ship and communicating so that you dont suggestions are being made, it is usually Release Date: February 13, 2004
lose that special closeness. because there is a flaw in your story. We Written by George Wing in his feature lm debut
(rewrite by Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel), this
Writing Quirk: As a married couple use the three-day rulewe try not to resist romantic comedy stars Adam Sandler as a player who
AND writing partners, were together all story suggestions until three days pass. It is falls in love with a woman (Drew Barrymore) suffering
day long. Sometimes its hard for us to amazing the clarity you have after some from short-term memory loss. He then must convince
separate our lives from our work, but all time goes by and your ego heals a bit. her every day that they are perfect for each other. 50
First Dates was a six-gure spec script sale by Wing,
of that goes back into the writing and has Up Next: We did rewrite work on the who has a second rom-com in production, Helium, to
become part of our style. We experience Untitled Boogeyman Movie for Screen be released later this year. Formerly Fifty First Kisses,
everything together so we can always talk Gems. the movie had an uncredited production rewrite by
about things. Our references are the same Sandler, and was directed by Peter Segal (Anger
Management, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps).
so theres a shorthand with the emotional Name: Johnny Rosenthal
communication when were trying to put Lives in: Manhattan Saved
together a scene. As far as a routine, we Script Title: Arrested Release Date: February 7, 2004
This black comedy by rst-time writers Brian Dannelly
write as much as we can all day long. We Development and Michael Urban stars Jena Malone as a student at
wish we were the kind of writers who How You Identify With a Southern Baptist high school who nds herself preg-
could dash things off a couple of hours The Main Character: He nant and an instant social outcast. Saved is directed
by Dannelly, who gained attention for his short lm,
a day, but were just not like that. We do views himself a champion He Bop, and produced by Michael Stipes Single Cell
roughs of scenes and then polish over and of the underdog. Unfortunately, hes a bit Productions (Being John Malkovich, 13 Conversations
over again. A lot of pages end up on the of an underdog himself but prefers to over- About One Thing). Stipe describes the lm as like
those monster-vampire-high school kinds of movies,
cutting room floor. The whole process is look that fact. only here the monsters are Jesus-freak teenagers.
like sculpting to us ... its all about taking Writing Quirk: Im kind of a workout fanatic,
OTHER FILMS WRITTEN BY DEBUT WRITERS:
away the parts that dont belong. so I like to run 10 or 12 miles before I get
Secret to Success: I think the secret to started. JANUARY FEBRUARY
Chasing Liberty Miracle
our success is being a male/female writing Secret to Success: Pretending to be a work- Written by: Derek Guiley and Written by: Eric Guggenheim
team. We write horror stories that offer a out fanatic. David Schneiderman
The Lost Skeleton of
unique perspective from both the male and First Big Break: Miramax optioned the film Cadavra
My Babys Daddy
female point of view. rights of an unpublished book I wrote, Written by: Damon Coke Written by: Larry Blamire
First Big Break: Selling our script to which they hired me to adapt into a script. Daniels & Eddie Grifn and
Brent Goldberg & David T. The Great Raid
Wes Cravens production company and Advice: Writing for a living is great; but at Written by: Carlo Bernard &
Wagner
Dimension. But before that, it was hook- the end of the day, it is a job. Treat it like Doug Mirotional; William B.
ing up with our agent and managers. That that. Wake up and go to work. Write pages, You Got Served Breuer (book The Great Raid
Written by: Christopher B. on Cabanatuan), Hampton
seems like the first REAL break because read scripts and watch movies every day. You Sides (book Ghost Soldiers)
Stokes
when youre a writer just starting out, have to put in a ton of hours to maximize (additional material)
youre in a total vacuum. Youre just writ- your talent. Osama
The Passion of Christ
ing all the time; and then suddenly the Up Next: Writing another spec. A comedy is Written by: Siddiq Barmak
Written by: Ben Fitzgerald,
script is finished, and you have to get it on the way. Mel Gibson

10 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
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 " ^ l (  ` i l g [ n #
by David Trottier

DR. FORMAT ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

SOUNDING OFF 2. The word car should not appear in CAPS. INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
QUESTION Its a noun. The CONVENIENCE STORE
A man wearing a werewolf
I understand that SOUNDS are sometimes LOT appears to be a new location. If so, it Halloween mask enters.
written in CAPS, but I have also seen char- should be written as a heading (slug line). If the
The clerk at the counter
acters (after their initial introduction), places convenience store lot is a secondary location freezes in fear.
and actions put in all-CAPS. For example: that is part of the master-scene location, then
In one of the aisles, a young
this sentence would be written as follows: couple faint together.
1. The door swings open, and
BILL saunters into the room The car dims its lights and The masked man steps towards
with a handful of QUARTERS. turns into the the clerk and opens a
Halloween sack.
2. The CAR dims its lights CONVENIENCE STORE LOT
and turns into the CONVENIENCE MASKED MAN
STORE LOT. where it slows to a stop. Trick or treat.
3. The boy STRIKES his father
and FLEES on a bike. If the convenience store lot is a new master- Notice, in the above scene, that there is no word
scene location, then the sentence should be in the narrative description written in CAPS.
What is your opinion on CAPS being used in revised as follows.
this manner? I see it all the time, yet Ive never 3. In this example, the CAPS emphasize action
read anything about it in formatting books. The car dims its lights and
turns. and imply sound effects. The words strikes
and flees do not need be placed in CAPS in a
ANSWER EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE LOT - spec script. Although you are no longer required
CONTINUOUS
The reason you see CAPS a lot is because you to CAP sounds in a spec script, it is okay to
are (likely) reading shooting scripts. You seldom The car slows to a stop in CAP important sounds if you wish. So you
the parking lot.
see CAPS in formatting books is because they might want to CAP the word strike. Its your
provide instruction for spec scripts. A spec Some of you are wondering what the differ- choice. Heres what I would probably write:
script is one written to sell; a shooting script ence is between a master-scene heading and
is written for the shoot. In a shooting script, a secondary heading. The master-scene head- The boy strikes his father and
sounds and props are usually CAPPED so that ing presents a master location. A secondary flees on a bike.
the production manager can easily break down heading presents a location that is part of the
the script (prepare a shooting schedule, make master location. Heres an example: MORE CAPS
lists of props and sound effects and so on). On QUESTION
occasion, you may find a shooting script where INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT After a character is introduced as BURLY COP,
all character names are CAPPED so that they A man wearing a werewolf what is the correct form for the remainder of the
can be tracked in the breakdown. Halloween mask enters. script? For instance, I have seen it written (in nar-
AT THE COUNTER rative description) as Burly Cop, burly cop and
Unfortunately, many developing writers use even burly Cop.
the clerk freezes in fear.
shooting script conventions in their spec scripts,
making spec scripts more difficult to read. Lets IN THE AISLE ANSWER
review your three examples in view of generally Burly Cop.
a young couple faint together.
accepted spec writing conventions.
AT THE COUNTER Now, PUT on your writers CAP and keep writing.
1. If this is not Bills first appearance in the the masked man opens a large
paper sack. Now get all of the Dr. Format columns in
screenplay, his name should not appear in one book. See ad on page 81.
CAPS. The QUARTERS are a prop and MASKED MAN
shouldnt be CAPPED in a spec script. In fact, Trick or treat. DAVE TROTTIER is a script consultant and writer-
as a general rule, nouns are not placed in CAPS. producer who has sold several screenplaysall in
correct format. He is also the author of the highly
(The exception is the name of a character when In the above example, you can clearly see that
acclaimed The Screenwriters Bible (now in its
he first appears in the screenplay.) Thus, this the counter and aisle are secondary locations
third edition). His latest book contains all the Dr.
sentence should be written as follows: that are part of the primary or master location Format columns ever published. Visit his web site
(the store). Even though the above example is at Keepwriting.com or request information about
The door swings open, and in correct format, the scene doesnt have to be
Bill saunters into the room his books and services at 1-800-264-4900. Send
with a handful of quarters. written that way. What follows would also be your questions about formatting in care of this
correct and probably preferred. magazine or to [email protected]

12 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " [ ^ p _ l n c m _ g _ h n #

Dr. Format Presents

DR. FORMAT

SCREENWRITING SOFTWARE

QUESTION QUESTION QUESTION

Why are you coming out with your own program? Whats the difference between Dr. Format Can I test out or demo the program? Do you offer
Screenwriting Software and all the other some type of guarantee?
ANSWER screenwriting programs?
Four reasons. First, I wanted a program that is ANSWER
truly affordable to all screenwriters. Dr. Format ANSWER Of course. You can take a complete walk-through
is just $79.95 for students and $99.95 for every- Dr. Format is the only software based on my of the program at www.drformat.com and down-
one else. book The Screenwriters Bible. The Bible defines load the manual. We also offer a 30-day money
I wanted a program that is easy to use and learn. industry standard for formatting spec scripts. back guarantee if youre not completely satisfied.
Dr. Format is based on Microsoft Word. If you Many other programs require you to read a
already use Microsoft Word, you already know lengthy manual. Because Dr. Format Screen- QUESTION
how to use Dr. Format. writing Software is based on Microsoft Word, Where can I buy the program?
Too many older programs no longer conform you will spend less time learning the program and
more time using it. ANSWER
to the current Hollywood formatting rules. Dr.
Format is based on the most current formatting Check out www.drformat.com or e-mail me at
rules in The Screenwriters Bible. QUESTION [email protected]. Go to www.drformat.com
for instructions on ordering online or through a
Finally, I wanted a program that allows anyone in Do I need anything to write my screenplay with
retail outlet near you.
the world to receive my script and be able to read Dr. Format?
it. Since Dr. Format is based on Microsoft Word, DAVE TROTTIER is a script consultant and writer-
ANSWER producer who has sold several screenplaysall in
you can send your script anywhere in the world
as a Word document. As long as the other person You must have Microsoft Word. Dr. Format correct format. He is also the author of the highly
can open Microsoft Word documents, they dont works with all versions of Microsoft Word acclaimed The Screenwriters Bible (now in its
for Windows going back to Word 97, and for third edition) and the new Dr. Format software.
need Dr. Format to read your script.
Microsoft Word for Macintosh going back to Visit his web site at Keepwriting.com or request
information about his books, software and ser-
Word 98.
vices at (800) 264-4900. Send your questions
about formatting in care of this magazine or to
[email protected]
 "mj_] m[f_ mjinfcabn#
by Rita Cook

ZACK MORRISSETTE AND JASON

HARRIS MEET THEIR BAD GUY
Imagine a story where a hit man decides to kill superheroes. Zack
Morrissette and Jason Harris imagined the idea and decided to create a
Zack Morrissette
comic book to tell it.

A
fter being frustrated with film projects Morrissette says. That was a lot of fun.
that seemed to be going nowhere, Morrissette also had drawings to show the
Morrissette, an artist, approached studio executives so they could get a feel
Harris and asked him to write the story to go for the project. Finally, Paramount ended
with the illustrations for Bad Guy. up purchasing it. After the deals were made
Jason Harris
Harris admits his first reaction when and the contracts signed, the writers began
Morrissette told him about the concept taking their comic book idea and molding live in L.A. when starting out, and he cites
was that it was the stupidest thing I had it into a screenplay. he and Morrissettes case and the unique
ever heard. But, Harris ended up writing Both Morrissette and Harris are from circumstances they have experienced.
the story anyway and both men hit the New Hampshire, and they actually lived As for co-writing, Morrissette explains,
pavement to make sure their self-published across the street from one another growing We have a very good working relationship
comic book was available at comic stores up. We didnt start hanging out until we where we are brutally honest with one anoth-
throughout California. moved to Los Angeles, Harris explains. I er and at times it is a little frustrating.
As luck would have it, producer Barry got to know [Morrissette] after we went to Overall, however, screenwriting is just like
Josephson of Men in Black fame and also college because we had mutual friends. any other creative endeavor for the writers.
an executive at Columbia TriStar happened As for what they believe is better when it Sometimes you nail it, and sometimes you
to be in a comic book store one day look- comes to learning screenplay structure, both work all day and produce crap and it is frus-
ing for a gag gift for a friend when he ran men agree that reading scripts is a good way trating, Morrissette concludes.
across the Bad Guy comic book. Josephson to understand how working screenwriters Currently finishing up the final polish on
e-mailed the two writers and told them he write. There are times when I get stuck the first draft of Bad Guy, Morrissette and
wanted to work with them on the project. and wonder how to describe something. I Harris are ready to begin their next project
They agreed immediately and Morrissette just draw it. Many times I draw things out soon. We have already pegged out what our
says, We went over to his place and he for myself and then describe what I have next project is, and we had a long sit-down
filled us with hopes and dreams. drawn and that makes it easier for me, with our managers to discuss some of our
Roughly a year later, Morrissette and Morrissette says. other ideas. There were other comic books
Harris have sold their idea, are polishing the Harris says he read scripts such as Blade that we were thinking about self-publishing
first draft for Paramount Pictures and have Runner and Minority Report to help him before Bad Guy, Harris says.
a nice WGA salary, a little above minimum, handle world creation. The big stumbling Morrissettes advice for screenwriters is sim-
to show for their efforts. block we had in this script was that we were ple: You need to be open-minded to make
Barry always describes the story a. You essentially conceiving a whole different the changes that will make for a better story.
take the bright, colorful world of Spider-Man world. There was a lot of excess description Harris concludes, Once you stop worry-
and put Dirty Harry into it, Morrissette in trying to visualize how this near future ing about the stress of trying to sell a screen-
explains. It has been a good year for both world looks. Harris says he read scripts to play, and you let that stress go, do your thing
writers since comic series have become quite help him in this area and that he also read and hold on to your integrity, then it is going
popular with movie producers, especially romantic comedies to get a handle on pure to work out for you.
after the success of Spider-Man around the formula. Morrissette and Harris can be reached at:
same time Bad Guy surfaced. Morrissette has been living in L.A. for six Badguyproductions.com
After Josephson had gone as far as he years after moving with a friend in search of
RITA COOK is the editor-in-chief of Insider
could with the screenwriters, he got comic a roommate who was headed to attend the
magazine and also a producer and screen-
book-adaptation guru, as Harris calls him, Art Institute in Pasadena.
writer. In 2002, she co-produced three films:
David Hayter involved in the project. In a You cant beat this weather, Harris says. Schizophrenic, Gabriella and Lost Soul. A short
sense, the men say it gave the studios assur- He has been in L.A. since 1998, but says film, Quest to Ref, on which she was producer,
ance that the project would be handled pro- he moved out West for a career in acting, was recently selected at Sundance. Cook is
fessionally since both Morrissette and Harris which gave way to the theatre and his first the President of Cinewomen, Los Angeles
were first-time screenwriters. love, playwriting. and President Emeritus of Women in Film &
We pitched 12 studios in three days, Harris also believes a screenwriter should Television, Chicago.

14 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
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 " q b i  s i o  e h i q #
by John Scott Lewinski

ALETHA SPANN
Its the same old story youve read a million times. An architect and published poet goes from the world of civil engi-
neering to a successful career as a Hollywood creative executive. Okay, maybe you havent read that one a million
times, but thats the path Aletha Spann of Mosaic Media Group took en route to her unique industry position. She is
part of a special wing of the company dedicated to the development of outstanding urban films.

W
e are looking to reinvent option, Spann said. I think the same can company sees countless variations of them
black cinema here, Spann often safely be said of the Hispanic culture since the success of 8 Mile.
said. Often, the terms and other minorities. That film did well, and there might
urban and black are interchangeable in In more affluent cultures, families rally be another one of those out there, Spann
the motion picture industry, but we want to to support the starving artistbut not in explained. But, it would have to be amaz-
make different urban films. inner city cultures. In those families, the ing and unique for us to do a rap movie. We
Above all else, we want to avoid formulaic aspiring writer or filmmaker is pressured also get a lot of basketball stories, gangbang-
cinema and create truly great stories. We are to give up on the arts and earn a living. So, ing elements, and so on. We stay away from
looking for urban material that is a little bit its tougher to find those struggling artists formula projects.
differentout of the ordinary. Most urban before they give up on their work. But, Spann stays on the lookout for those
films are comedies, usually romantic com- Now, there are writers and filmmakers of unique stories because Mosaic is contracted
edies. There are very few dramas. Were look- color that are already working in the indus- to produce six urban movies for HBO:
ing to do those great dramas and any kind of try. The challenge I face is to locate writers Were looking hard for quality writing and
story that is unique ... that has quality. The that are that next generation of profession- character-driven stories to feed that HBO
bottom line is our films are smarter. We als. Its hard to find them because they dont commitment.
want to raise the bar on urban films. get the exposure to the industryor any Finally, Spann was quick to point out
Before coming to Hollywood and Mosaic, exposure for their work. They dont read the that, though she focuses on urban material,
Spann earned her architecture degree from trades. They cant afford the $300 per year Mosaic is in the market for all quality stories
the University of Texas at Arlington. She to get The Hollywood Reporter. So, its harder with an original focus and voice.
went on to work in the civil engineering field to hunt them down. We need to develop projects to fill our
for six years before coming to Los Angeles. Fortunately, such web sites as Latinfilm.org, HBO schedule, but I look for all kinds of
I got married, and my husband was in Blackfilm.com and Urbaninsider.com offer projects to pass on to the other executives
the entertainment field, she explained. We inner-city artists forums to learn about the here at Mosaic. If I come across a special
moved to L.A., and I decided that I wanted entertainment industry and to feature their story that I think the other professionals
to get into the industry also. work. Spann looks to these online sites for would like to see, I will bring it in and hand
Spann started out as a personal assistant, any up-and-coming urban talent. it over to other development executives.
working on a TV show and a couple of indie There are lots of people all over the And, they send me any urban stories they
films. She then became an assistant for vari- country from urban cultures looking to get think have merit. Its a team effort.
ous companiesfinally landing at Mosaic. their script read, get an agent, etc., she said. So while it may not be civil engineering,
When Mosaic wanted to head up an Were here searching for them. Spann finds herself in a very civil working
Urban Film division, I came over as a junior When it comes to seeking out those environment while hunting down those
creative executive, she added. Ive been here urban voices, Spann said shes looking for unique, quality stories.
as the creative executive for three years. the same talent and ability as she might
In her leadership role in Mosaics Urban find in any other writer. The ethnicity of
JOHN SCOTT LEWINSKI writes screenplays,
Film division, Spanns most challenging the artists doesnt matter if they have skill,
responsibility is finding gifted artists experi- originality and a firm grasp on the urban books, articles and interactive media out of
enced in the realities of urban life. environment or subject matter.
Los Angeles, CA. He is the author of the book
We are looking to find new, untapped One of the projects were developing now
talent all the time. Writing, directing or is written and directed by a white filmmak- Screenwriters Guide to Agents & Managers, and
filmmaking is just recently becoming a er, she said. He had a great reel and strong
his next book (Alone in a Room: The Secrets of
viable career choice for many in the inner writing samples. So, urban or ethnic doesnt
city, and its a slow evolutionary process. have a racial focus or cultural breakdown. Professional Screenwriters) will hit shelves in late
In urban African-American culture, we In terms of material and Mosaics ambition
2004. He is represented by the management
are taught to make money and get a job, to develop unique urban stories, Spann often
and the arts arent always looked on as an passes on rapper storieseven though her firm Benderspink of Hollywood, CA.

16 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 F]
(ER([SVOMR

.E]&IEXXMI

3*
8,) &-68, 4%682)67,-4 %
Our writing partnership was born at a time of great self-loathing. Our lives were loveless and sexless, our assistant jobs
endless and our respective hard drives were teeming with ill-conceived, oft-aborted screenplays. A creative union made
sense. Wed each proven ourselves capable of completing almost 50 percent of a script, so the math was on our side ...

e wrote our first feature while continuing our day jobs. It took TV: We were determined to awe the showrunner with speed. We

; nine months, and it didnt sell. But the feedback was encouraging
enough that we quit our jobs to write full-time. We wrote our
second feature in various coffee shops over the next year. We amassed
worked in a frenzy to generate pages and managed to get three acts
done in two days. Then he called us and said he was leaving the show
You guys might want to stop writing. The new showrunners prob-
enormous debt; but, oddly, we didnt care. They say people who have ably going to want to look at your outline.
near-death experiences oftentimes wake up having lost all desire for The new showrunner was brilliant, unflappable and very cool. We
material goods. They learn a new appreciation for life. Heres another thought wed have to trash all of our work and start over, but he deferred
way to learn a new appreciation for life quit your job. to inertia and allowed us to finish the draft. The draft was decent
We decided to try writing TV, thinking it might be easier to break enough that he offered us a staff position. We celebrated liberally.
into. We wrote a CSI spec, then a Practice episode which got us an MOVIE: Ten weeks after the sale, we still had yet to meet with
agent to go with our manager. We had some meetings but no offers, anyone about the rewrite. Meetings with the Oscar-winning writer-
and our new feature was stalling out in the market after a buyer had producer were continually scheduled and rescheduled. Apparently, he
reneged on a deal. We were idle. Then, late in June, we suddenly had was a very busy guy.
movement a healthy, fruit-bearing movement in an otherwise con- TV: We were summoned to a table read at the Four Seasons. It was
stipated career. In one week, we received two offers. our first time getting to hear professional actors read our words. It was
On Tuesday a small studio bought our feature, and on Friday we awesome. The buffet was good, too.
were offered a freelance episode of a new TV show. Dick Wolf was MOVIE: More meetings were scheduled, then canceled. There were
doing an update of Dragnet for ABC. It was a great week. That was rumblings that maybe it wasnt such a good thing that this Oscar-win-
one year ago. Features and TV have since provided us with two starkly ning writer-producer had come onboard. We dismissed this talk as
different experiences. This is an abridged chronicling: defeatist. Three months had passed.
TV: We met with the showrunner to talk about our episode. We TV: The lead actor was fired, and Ed ONeill was brought in. Our
got along famously. But the new show hadnt really been conceived episode was first up. In pre-production, we found ourselves involved in
yet. There were no scripts, no outlines, nothing to go on. Two cops casting, art direction, wardrobe, etc. We were getting exposure beyond
in Los Angeles with sporadic voiceover now go write. A daunting anything we ever thought possible. It was all hugely gratifying and quite
task. We ran with it. unexpected.
MOVIE: Days after the sale, the studio head left the studio; and a new MOVIE: Our agent called to tell us that we had to reschedule the
head grew in his place. We were told this was good for us, and it seemed meeting again. We exchanged a blank look, What meeting? Our
to hold true when a high-profile, Oscar-winning writer came onboard agent paused, then, For the movie. Blink. What movie?
as producer. We were flattered by his interest and excited to talk to him TV: We shot our first episode. We were on the set the whole time,
about the script. Six weeks after the sale, we had yet to talk to anyone. watching our script come to life. To have our first produced dialogue

18 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " q l c n _ l m  i h  q l c n c h a #
uttered by an actor of Eds caliber was an honor. The director actually TV: ABC picked up the show for 13 more episodes. We got a
looked to us for input. This job just kept getting better. promotion and a raise. The show has since undergone a significant
MOVIE: Five months after the sale, we finally had our first meeting makeover. New cast members have been added. A new style has been
but the Oscar-winning writer-producer wasnt there. He sent his conceived, and new writer-producers have been hired in an effort to
people instead. They had generated some ideas for the rewrite. From create the best possible product. Its heartening to be involved in a
a logic standpoint, their core idea was fundamentally flawed but medium that embraces evolution.
they didnt want to hear that. They had worked hard on these ideas, MOVIE: A year after the sale, evolution has stalled. We still have yet
even staying until nine one night. Obviously, we were dealing with to speak to our Oscar-winning writer-producer. We have no idea what
driven personnel. They would be tough to sway, but we held out hope he thought of the script, but we are told that the studio head felt the
we could retain the integrity of our story. draft was not where it should be. We put an enormous amount of
TV: A month later we all gathered at a friends house to watch energy into this process. Yet we cant help but feel that, somehow, failure
our first broadcast, our names onscreen for the first time. Toasts were was preordained. We expect the project to go into turnaround shortly.
made. Our mothers were so proud.
MOVIE: After generating 30 pages of new material in a crusade to Were writing a new feature now, a horror movie. The goal is to craft a
meet the producer-studio halfway on their notes, we were told, We script so brilliant that studio notes burn up and vaporize as they enter its
dont want to be assholes, but youre just going to have to do our notes. atmosphere. Of course, this goal is unrealistic; but we must forge ahead.
It was tough, but we took the high road, resolving to make it work. We have no choice. TV is rewarding beyond all expectations. We love it
TV: We wrote a second episode, then a third. In total, we were cred- and we hope to have a career in the medium for years to come ... but
ited with four of the 12 episodes that aired. Now it was a question of film is our first love. Its going to take a lot more than one disheartening
whether or not the show would get picked up for the following season. development experience to temper our desire to make movies. We look
We were right on the bubble. It was a nerve-racking yet stimulating facet forward to the next experience. Seriously.
of the medium.
MOVIE: Executing the notes was difficult and frustrating, but the
Since the writing of this article, Dragnet has been cancelled. DAN DWORKIN
draft was decentnot as good as our original, but not without merit
either. We again felt optimistic. There was hope for this project yet. and JAY BEATTIE have found subsequent employment on the CBS drama
We turned it in and looked forward to hearing the thoughts of the
Cold Case. They are finishing their next feature spec script, which will be hit-
Oscar-winning writer-producer. We were assured he would read the
script promptly. It would be nice to finally talk to him. ting the marketplace in the early part of 2004.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 19

 " c h ^ _ j _ h ^ _ h n m #
by William C. Martell

ITS A SET-UP
Act One sets up everything: charac-
ters, conflict, character arc, concept,
tone, genre, the world of your story
and everything that happens in Act
Two and Act Three.

I
ts a new year, and youre probably plan-
ning on writing a new screenplay ... but
where do you begin? What do you need
in those critical opening scenes? Where
should you start the story? Or maybe your
New Years resolution is to finish one of the
half-dozen scripts that stalled out halfway
through. Why did they run out of steam? Is
it an inspiration issue or an Act Two prob-
lem? Maybe the problem you keep running
Demi Moore as Molly Jensen and Patrick Swayze as Sam Wheat in Ghost, written by Bruce Joel Rubin
into was finding the right end for your
script. Many writers hit a brick wall when
theyre trying to come up with an end. How of effortless writing is why the script earned Sam, Molly and their friend Carl (Tony
do you solve that problem? a Best Original Screenplay Oscar and is one Goldwyn) breaking through a wall with
When all of the endings you come up of the highest grossing films of all timea sledgehammers. This scene establishes
with dont work or your story stalls in Act critical and financial success. theme. The story is about communication
Two, the real problem is usually back in barriersSam cant tell Molly that he loves
Act One. That first act sets up everything WHERE DO I BEGIN? her. This would be a minor problem except
that follows. It lays the groundworkit You want to start your script as late as pos- hes murdered 17 minutes into the film;
sets up the central conflict that fuels Act siblewhen the story starts. Even though and hell never be able to say, I love you,
Two, introduces the characters, hooks us the purpose of Act One is to set up the story ... unless he breaks through from the other
with that amazing concept and introduces and characters, you dont need to begin at side with a little help from spiritual medium
the theme and the protagonists emotional conception. Ghost is a mystery, a thriller, a Oda Mae (Whoopi Goldberg). Even Oda
conflict which are the keys to finding a supernatural story and a comedy; but most Mae has problems breaking through to
satisfying end. If you think Act One is easy of all, its a romance. Yet the story doesnt Molly who thinks its some sort of scam.
but keep running into trouble in Act Two, begin when Sam (Patrick Swayze) and Molly When Molly finally believes, she cant get
youre probably not spending enough time (Demi Moore) first meet. We dont see their the police to believe. Though it may be
thinking about your first act. Lets begin the first datethat would be starting way too subtle and symbolic, those sledgehammers
year by taking a close look at the beginning early! The script starts with the couple mov- set up the theme of the film.
of your screenplay. ing in togetherthis is a long-term relation-
Last year when I did my screenwriting ship, a serious relationship. WHO ARE THOSE GUYS?
class in Tahoe, I used Bruce Joel Rubins The opening description of Ghosts script Act One is also going to set up your
Ghost as my primary example. Its a great gets us right into the story: Moving through protagonist and all of the other main char-
illustration of a first act that sets up every- a Tribeca loft, an eerie netherworld where acters. Though Oda Mae and the Subway
thing that follows without seeming to break strange, ghostly forms appear and disappear Ghost arent introduced until Act Two, they
a sweat. Great writing is hard work that ... like apparitions. This is a visual open- are a logical part of Sams journey which is
looks easy. Even though the first act of Ghost ing that establishes the mood of the story: set up in Act One. These are characters
may seem realistic and unplanned, every spooky, even though we arent in the usual that grow naturally from the story of a
single action and line of dialogue was created setting for a ghost story. dead guy trying to tell the woman he loves
to support the story that follows. That kind The first action in the script has that shes in danger. Though the actual

20 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " c h ^ _ j _ h ^ _ h n m #
characters arent introduced in Act One, the
need for them is.
In that opening scene, Molly jumps into
Sams arms, and they kiss while Carl watches
... jealous. These three are the main charac-
ters in the storyhero, love interest, villain.
Their relationship is set up in that opening
scene. Sam and Molly are madly in love and
moving in together. Carl is their friend ...
and a third wheel.
Sam is completely set up in the next
few scenes. Hes a bank vice president in
charge of business loans. The bank trusts
him with millions of dollars, but hes still
nervous about meeting a group of Japanese
businessmen. Hes confident on the outside,
but underneath it all he has insecurities with
which we can identify. Hes worried about
an upcoming promotion, moving in with
Molly and plane crashes.
Molly is a free spirit, an artist and Sams
connection to life without a suit and tie.
She buys him wacky suspenders to wear to
work. We see some of her sculptures, includ-
ing an angel statue, and find out she has a
big gallery opening coming up. To show the
passion in Mollys relationship with Sam we
have that great scene with the pottery wheel,
which sets up a later scene after Sams death
with Molly alone at the pottery wheel.
Carl is the most difficult character to set
up: Hes the friend who becomes the vil-
lain. How do you introduce him as Sams
friend but still plant the information that
hes going to end up the bad guy? In that
opening scene, when theyre cleaning up the
loft, he says, You could sell it tomorrow
and double your money. In the next scene,
hes walking to work with Sam and stops to
admire a Ferrari Testarossa: Thats the car
Im gonna drive. Sam suggests that he pay
off his current car first. Carl may be Sams
best friend who jokes with him about hav-
ing a rash on his genitals while theyre riding
in a crowded elevator, but hes also greedy.
The big plot twist in the script has been set
up in the very first scene.

IN THE MOOD
Act One also sets up the mood, tone and
genre of the film. We have romance in the
pottery wheel scene, comedy in the elevator
scene; but we need to prepare the audience
for Sams murder. A pair of scenes set up the
mood of danger: When Molly and the mov-
ers are hoisting the angel statue up to the
loft, she reaches out to grab it and almost
falls out of the window, but Sam catches

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 21

" c h ^ _ j _ h ^ _ h n m #
find the error; but Sam says, Im gonna dig around a bit on my
own. Carls offer to help seems friendly before we know theres
a crime, sinister when we see the film for a second time. Even
though the crime is offscreen, we still see its echo in the actions
onscreen in Act One. Sam has changed his MAC code, and Carl
no longer has access to the accounts. Carl must get Sams phone
book with the new MAC code, so he hires Willie the mugger,
who ends up killing Sam, which introduces us to the other world
in which the story takes place ...
The world of ghosts. What are the rules of the afterlife? We get
all of the information we need in Act One. After Sam is killed, the
tunnel of light opens up in the alley ... but Sam rejects it. The tun-
nel closes, and Sam is stuck on Earth as a ghost. The two guys who
come when Molly screams for help pass right through Samand it
feels weird. In the hospital, Sam talks to the Old Guy Ghostand
we learn that ghosts can see each other (though no one can see
Whoopi Goldberg as Oda Mae Brown and Patrick Swayze as Sam Wheat them). Sam and the Old Guy Ghost watch a man die, the tunnel
in Ghost, written by Bruce Joel Rubin of light opens and the spirits come down to escort him to Heaven.
The Old Guy Ghost says, It could have been the other onesset-
her. A later scene has Sam and Molly in bed watching the newsa ting up the shadow demons that take you to Hell. The Old Guy
plane has crashed, killing everyone onboard. Ghost also says, Doors aint as bad as you thinkzip, zapyoull
catch onsetting up the challenge of moving objects when youre
SAM a spirit. All of the ghost information is set up in the first act, no
I should cancel my L.A. trip ... These need to go back and fill in information.
things always happen in threes.

MOLLY
FRONT STORY
Sam, get serious. Besides, you lead a Act One sets up the story, characters and conflict, so you want
charmed life. to make sure that you have set up anything critical to the story.
You dont want to spend your script backtracking to reveal some
SAM vital piece of information. Doing so leads to boring exposition or
Yeah. So did they. flashbacks that kill the storys momentum. You dont want to stop
(He snaps his fingers)
Just like that. the action for plot catch up in the middle of the conflict in Act
Two. You want the reader to already have the necessary informa-
This exchange sets up the danger of the real world. Even though tion so that he can concentrate on the events happening now.
this story has comedy and romance, characters may die unexpect- This rule doesnt mean you have to introduce every character,
edly. The great thing about this set-up is that we begin worrying location or event in Act One, but you have to establish the world
about Sams plane trip to Los Angeles, an event that never happens. and story in which all of those things are logical extensions. If
Sam is murdered before he can hop the plane. theres something unusual in your story (like ghosts), you need to
introduce that in Act One. If your protagonist hops a shuttle to
WHAT A WORLD! Mars in Act Two, that possibility needs to be set up in Act One.
Act One also sets up the world where the story takes place and Remember that anything possible in Act Two or Act Three was
the rules of that world. In Ghost, two very different worlds are set also possible in Act Oneso if your protagonist has mountain-
up: the world of banking and the world of ghosts. All of this is climbing skills on page 50, he also had those skills on page one;
done so casually we dont realize how much information Rubin has and he better act like it! Your protagonist cant pull something out
given us until it all comes into play later in the story. of a hat to solve a problem in Act Two unless you put it in that
One of the first scenes has Sam ask Carl to transfer $900,000 hat in Act One.
into a bank account. Carl is unable to transfer the money You dont need to set up anything thats part of normal, every-
without using Sams MAC code. Carl isnt trusted with the day life. If a police detective is an expert marksman, you dont
MAC code. Sam is (hes the boss) ... and Sam trusts Carl. This need to explain it. If a cocktail waitress is an expert marksman and
exchange sets up both Carls crime and Sam and Oda Maes twist has a gun in her purse, you need to set that up. Anything unusual
later in the story. or critical to your story needs to be set up as soon as possible.
Carls crime involves borrowing the MAC codes and using bank
accounts to launder money for drug dealers. Even though Ghost WHATS YOUR PROBLEM?
is a mystery and the crime isnt revealed until late in Act Two, it The main purpose of your first act is to set up the conflicts
must be completely set up in the first act. The set-up seems invis- both the protagonists emotional conflict (character arc) and the
ible because we dont know the meaning of the actions, but its all physical conflict (story). In Ghost, we set up Sams communica-
there when we see the film again. Sam discovers that theres too tion problems earlyhe cant tell Molly that he loves her, so he
much money in some of the accounts, and Carl wants to help him says, ditto.

22 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " c h ^ _ j _ h ^ _ h n m #
MOLLY END ACT ONE
Do you love me Sam?
Act One isnt over until the protagonist is locked in the conflict. If
the protagonist can wiggle out of the problem or if hes not directly
SAM
What do you think? involved, you arent out of Act One yet. Sometimes the conflict
involves the friend or the love interest of the protagonist, but thats
MOLLY not enough to get us out of Act One. No once-removed situations!
How come you never say it? Ghost isnt told from Mollys point of view. Its told from Sams point
of view. Sam is murdered and knows that Molly is in danger, and
SAM the story is about his struggle to save her. Its his conflictMolly
I say it all the time. has no idea shes in danger. Throughout Act Two, Sam keeps trying
to warn Molly through a variety of methods, and each time some
MOLLY event causes her not to believe the warning. She thinks Oda Mae is
You say ditto. Its not the same.
pulling some sort of scam. When she goes to the police about Willie
the mugger, they give her Oda Maes arrest record. When she ignores
SAM
People say, I love you all the time. the warning, the danger escalates. If the central conflict hadnt been
It doesnt mean anything. fully set up in the first act, we wouldnt be able to get to the conflict
escalation of Act Two. The point where Sam becomes locked in the
MOLLY conflict in Ghost isnt when hes murderedtheres no conflict in
Sometimes you need to hear it. I need to being deadits when Willie the mugger breaks into the loft 30
hear it.
minutes into the film. Willie has a key! Sams death wasnt just a
Sams need to communicate with Molly becomes more important mugging. It was a murder ... and Mollys life is in danger. Now that
after hes been murdered because the killer is coming after her ... the protagonist is locked into the conflict, we can blast into Act Two
which brings us to the physical conflict (story). Weve seen how the where things get much, much worse.
crime is set up even though its invisible in Act One. When Sam is
murdered, the physical conflict kicks inand Sam must struggle to
WILLIAM C. MARTELL has written over a dozen produced films for
protect Molly as he tries to uncover why he was killed and who is
behind it. The emotional and physical conflict are connected (cen- cable and video, including the HBO World Premiere Movie Crash Dive
tral conflict) in Act One, and now we have Act Two for the conflict and the family film Invisible Mom. He is the author of The Secrets of
to escalate and Act Three for the conflict to be resolved. Action Screenwriting. He may be reached at: Scriptsecrets.net

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 23

Which
Screenwriting
Program
Is Right
For You? BY JOHN SCOTT LEWINSKI

Y
ou may need to sit down when I tell you this, but there was a time when writers worked without computers. They used large, hum-
ming electric typewriters to pile up pages, keeping track of their stories constantly shifting elements on index cards or chalkboards.
In fact, legend has it that our distant past hides secret tales of men and women forced to write by physically pushing down on
mechanical keys that would leverage up metal letters onto plains of thinly smashed, white wood pulp. However, I lend no credence to the idea
that those ancient writers evolved from earlier models who created their work by manually scratching dark ink across paper with pointed objects
to form words. Its hard to imagine screenwriting before the onset of computers. Fortunately, for todays screenwriters, the various formatting
software packages are designed to make writing your script as easy as merely typing. We will examine a shelf-full of these software packages to
discover the features. Then, it will be up to you to decide which program is best for you.

FINAL DRAFT Version 6.0 includes an improved, and setting them free to worry solely about
Early in 2002, Final smoother version of its Speech Control creative issues. Version 6.0 further frees the
Draft unveiled a total function. This tool allows you to assign creative mind while burying any nuts-and-
redesign of its popular your computers various voices to the bolts questions of how the script should look
screenwriting software characters in your script. Those voices on the page.
for Mac and PC. The become your actors and narrator as they One area in which Final Draft takes some
update was especially perform your scriptallowing you to hear heat is its apparent inability to take advan-
intended for up-to-date computer users how the dialogue sounds. tage of Mac OS font-smoothing technolo-
employing Macs System X and Microsofts The CollaboWriter feature instructs gies. However, if the software makes writing
Windows XP operating systems. Since then, you on how to discuss and rewrite your your script so much easier, does it matter if
theyve been offering updates via the Web to script with associates over the Internet your Courier t is a little jagged? It seems
improve functions and patch glitches. through a Final Draft registration network. like a techno-philiac complaint to me.
Final Draft enjoys continued status as SmartType lists manage your characters Meanwhile, Final Drafts partnership with
an industry leader for media-writing soft- and locations efficiently while Script to GoldPocket Interactive produced features
ware. I hear, You use Final Draft, right? Schedule describes how to take the data within 6.0 that enable television scriptwriters
throughout Hollywood circles whenever in your script and transfer it to production and producers to add interactive television
different writers, producers or develop- management programs. elements to their scripts. Writers can use
ment executives look to swap scripts However, if you purchase Final Draft, be special ScriptNotes to annotate their scripts
between computers via e-mail or another sure to register the software immediately. with interactive enhancements that can be
medium. With its invaluable ability to Then, be sure to download the most recent exported to GoldPockets EventMatrix fea-
send perfectly formatted files between Mac free upgrade because both Mac and Windows tures. From the GoldPocket software, writ-
and Windows-managed PCs, Final Draft versions suffer from occasional bugs if youre ers and producers can export the elements
remains a reliable product for writers of not up to date. Once youve taken care of into interactive programming. The hybrid
screenplays, TV scripts, stageplays and that concern, you are empowered with some package can then deliver the resulting pro-
audio-visual presentations. serious screenwriting software. gramming to all production editing systems,
In addition, because some of its competi- Final Draft pushed the envelope of personal computers and wireless platforms.
tors seem less invested in the Mac OS, Final creative word processing when it began to The marriage of the two software pro-
Draft is often the first choice of Apple com- make scriptwriting intuitiveallowing writ- grams seems a natural partnership. Final
puter users when writing scripts. ers to stop worrying about format problems Draft worked for years to make writing

24 ssccrr( (i i) )pptt scriptmag.com

 " ] l [ ` n #
highly formatted scripts simple and intuitive. SCRIPTWARE taking ASCII file notes and offering them
Now, GoldPocket looks to be on a mission I get the impression that, while Final to Scriptware to chew into a screenplay. The
to simplify and automate interactive televi- Draft embraced the Mac world, Scriptware elements came out in the right order, but
sion production. The new Final Draft inter- reached out to empower the PC creative chunks of my notes disappeared. I ended up
active TV scriptwriting package interfaces market. Sure, Scriptware offers a Mac ver- having to find the missing bits and retype
directly with GoldPockets post-production sion, but its still buried in System 9. When them. At any rate, these trip-ups were eas-
editing solution, popular Avid Technology, Macs Panther OS emerges, Scriptwares ily corrected. Cinovation continues to make
GoldPocket broadcast automation tools and Mac edition will regular improvements to Scriptware. Those
GoldPockets EventMatrix online network. be three operating updates are available online.
Price: $249.95; upgrade from earlier systems behind the Scriptware will give the Final Draft and
versions $79. For more information visit: times. (At press time, Movie Magic Screenwriter PC editions all
Finaldraft.com Scriptware was plan- the competition they can handle.
ning an update for both Price: $299.95. For more information
MOVIE MAGIC Mac and Windows in visit: Scriptware.com
SCREENWRITER early 2004.)
Write Brothers, Inc. continues to mount a However, Scriptware is a polished, SCRIPT
major challenge to Final Draft. Movie Magic refined and savvy piece of software. It WIZARD
Screenwriter is a very complete product empowers the writer with several produc- Final Draft, Movie
combining formatting with production tools tion features and other tools that give Magic Screenwriter
and some story development features. the package an aura of professionalism. and Scriptware are all
Of course, this pro- Launched in 1992, Scriptware was the first very full-service, fea-
gram automatically program to do automatic formatting and ture-packed software
formats your script. pagination on the fly, as you write, with no packages. While working writers should
However, Movie Magic macros or extra key commands. consider one of those titles (depending
Screenwriter also adds Obviously, the software will flawlessly upon their individual needs and priorities),
50 templates from keep your script within acceptable industry writers looking to dabble in screenwriting
actual television-show format. The program knows to switch from might consider using traditional Microsoft
scripts, so you can see character to dialogue, from transition to slug Word as a script word processor.
what pages look like line, etc. Scriptware also allows you to adjust For those writers (including students who
when they come off the pros printers. These these automatic functions. For example, might not be able to afford the big name
templates can be invaluable in making sure when writing character dialogue, the pro- programs), Script Wizard is a powerful
you know the tricks and gimmicks some gram usually jumps from character element add-on for Word for Windows. (No Mac
shows use on paper to distinguish one of to dialogue, then back to character, ad infi- version is available at this time.) Whether
their scripts from a rival shows documents. nitum, until youre finished writing dialogue youre writing a screenplay, hour-long tele-
On the plus side, Movie Magic and return to action, slug line or transition. play, sitcom, A/V script, radio production or
Screenwriter synchronizes with the Internet Nevertheless, you may wish to consistently go interactive document, Script Wizard includes
to enable online collaboration via voice or back to action after every bit of dialogue and formatting features integrated into Word for
text. In addition, the software can print Scriptware gives you that freedom. Windows.
scene reports/breakdowns onto perforated Scriptware offers an extensive menu of For scriptwriting functions, Script Wizard
index cards for anyone who wants to employ list options (character, transition, shot, includes keyboard commands specifi-
an old-fashioned corkboard. etc.). It even allows you to rename charac- cally designed and laid out within Word for
One feature that seemed a little like over- ters throughout the entire script by merely whatever kind of script you need to write.
kill was the name bank. Yes, it will help you changing their entry in the character list. PC users need Windows 98, Second Edition
name your characters; but isnt coming up The programs Scene Shuffle function or later and Word 97 (8.0) or later.
with appropriate names for your creations lets you view every scene in a script in an Price: $69. For more information visit:
part of the fun of writing? extended list of slug lines. If you move a Warrenassoc.com
Finally, on the production-friendly side, slug line up or down on the list, the cor-
Movie Magic Screenwriter is the only responding scene moves in the script. PAGE 2
software on the market which allows for a A few of Scriptwares tools are superior to STAGE
complete electronic tagging for production its major competitor, Final Draft (such as ScreenSoft,
breakdowns which can be fully exported scene renumbering on the fly, easier dual- the manufac-
to Movie Magic Scheduling. It also has column dialogue functions and more mal- turers of Page 2 Stage, The Screenwriters
several revision options (locking pages, A/B leable list functions). However, Scriptware Word Processor, allows you to purchase
pages, revision marks, etc.) to continue your also suffers from some odd bugs, especially their scriptwriting software directly from
scripts development when you take it up to in its PC version. their web site. This allows writers to get up
the sound stage. Like Final Draft, the Scriptware PC ver- and running quickly and for less cost than
Price: $249. For more information visit: sion offers bugs while transitioning text files the more elaborate Final Draft, Scriptware or
Screenplay.com into a script-formatted document. I tried Movie Magic Screenwriter.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 25

" ] l [ ` n #
Page 2 Stage is a word processor designed Final Draft or Scriptware, Page 2 Stage writers to create a script by correctly format-
especially for people writing screenplays, offers a Dual Column mode (aligned and ting movie and television scripts at roughly
scripts and plays. Currently available only non-aligned), allowing you to do simulta- one-third the price of those more established
for Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows neous dialogue without multiple tab stops. programs. It also stores information about
NT 4.0, Windows 2000 and XP, it provides While other programs offer this as an exclu- scenes and characters within the script to
the basic formatting features. sive primary function, this package again help a writer stay organized while cranking
The program is an electronic down- offers a basic introduction and functionality out that blockbuster.
load. When you purchase a copy online, to the dual-column format. The program allows a writer to keep
ScreenSoft e-mails you the location of the In an unusual and unique feature, Page 2 track of characters and scenes with its
program and a code to unlock it. You then Stage allows you to open multiple windows character list/reference storage and scene
download the program and run it immedi- of the same script without reverting to the switch features. As you write, the program
ately. It comes with complete instructions previously saved version. You can scroll each compiles an ongoing list of your character
and user manuals. window to a different location in the script, names and scene locations automatically.
Available in 30 languages from Arabic to perhaps to keep track of a characters dialogue Final Draft, Movie Magic Screenwriter and
Turkish, ScreenSoft is one of the first script- or the pacing of action. Each window may be Scriptware maintain similar lists. However,
writing manufacturers to allow international a different view mode, and changes made in Script Creator adds an extra feature that
writers the opportunity to concentrate on one window are shown in the other windows allows you to move to the start of a scene
writing their script in their native language. at the same time. This brilliant bit of mul- just by clicking on its name within the list.
Page 2 Stage could become one pos- titasking allows a writer the chance to see You can also make notes within your script
sible alternative for beginning screenwriters many aspects of his script simultaneously. as you brainstorm and hide them within the
reluctant to make the major investment in a My personal favorite function in Page 2 printed document.
complete software package. At only $79.95, Stage is auto-cheat. You tell the program As in most screenwriting packages, Script
Page 2 Stage performs most of the same how many pages you want the script to be, Creator allows you to type your script freely
functions, including proper formatting and and then Page 2 Stage makes the script the without needing to remember command
scene structures. desired length. It may seem like cheating, keys, function keys or other macros. The
The software also offers an outline view but it helps keep those page counts in line. return and tab keys guide your cursor
with full editing capability. Page 2 Stage While usable out of the box, if you wish down the page, properly formatting stan-
provides reports and graphs that offer com- to add to the programs functions or find dard script margins as you go. Also, type
ments on a script. It can reveal weak points additional templates, the software includes INT. or EXT. and the cursor immediately
and editing points in index card view. Then, online functionality as long as you are jumps to a scene heading. Finally, type the
its up to you whether you want to take the connected via your Web browser and/or first couple of letters in a characters name,
softwares advice. e-mail program. and the softwares auto-complete functions
Once you write your first draft in Page While not as industry savvy or all- finish the name.
2 Stages proper formatting templates, the inclusive as more expensive and elaborate While Script Creator does not import
software provides seven reports to help you packages, Page 2 Stage is a definite, cost- other screenwriting software files, it does get
improve your writing. These include a scene effective alternative to more expensive along nicely with Word .rtf files. When you
report to give you a quick listing of your software packages. print the fruits of your labor, you have the
scene order and length, a character report to Price: $79.95. For more information visit: option to number scenes or use MOREs and
provide a listing of the scenes and dialogue Page2stage.com CONTDs in your dialogue.
for a character, a note report for a concise However, Script Creator is thin on produc-
listing of all notes in the script and scene or SCRIPT CREATOR tion functions, such as revision marks and
character graphs to see how they fit into the Script Creator, from Drakkon Software locked pages. You can employ scene numbers
script as a whole. Productions, offers as well as track scene lengths, script length
As with more expensive scriptwriting beginning scriptwrit- and running time. For those functions, youre
packages, all changes in the script cause ers another work- better off going with the more expensive and
immediate reformatting in the background able and affordable elaborate packages. Script Creator is a creative
while you edit the script. Page 2 Stage also alternative to the big program more than a production tool.
provides the standard features found in all boys. Price: $59 via download. You receive a
screenwriting editors, including smart tabs Since Final Draft, password with your purchase that unlocks
to set paragraph style, correct handling of Movie Magic Screen- the download for use. For $73.95 you can
page breaks, dialogue continueds, etc. writer, Scriptware and their competitors purchase the password and receive a mailed
The program automatically saves a often tilt the cashbox (not that you dont copy on CD-ROM. For more information
backup of the script you are editing. It also get value for your money), those programs visit: Drakkonsoft.com
periodically saves the script in case of power can intimidate and turn away those writers
failure. Finally, if your laptops Windows merely toying with writing a script or look- SCRIPT WERX
system warns of battery drain, Page 2 Stage ing to give the very disciplined art form a Another program that puts Word to
immediately saves all of your work. try for the first time. use creating your script is Script Werx, a
Getting a leg up on an earlier draft of Like Page 2 Stage, Script Creator helps package of templates for seven different

26 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " ] l [ ` n #
script formats and a While the original product makes cre-
storyboard format, each ative scriptwriting intuitive, this AV ver-
of which customizes sion makes writing non-fiction media less
Words styles and mac- troublesome.
ros. Each template pro- Price: $179; upgrade from version
vides as many as three 1.0 is $29. For more information visit:
new toolbars, a Script Finaldraft.com
Werx menu, shortcuts
and tools with dialogue boxes and on-screen SIDEBYSIDE
instructions installed. Just as Script Wizard offers less experienced
Script Werxs surprisingly comprehensive writers a more afford-
features include templates for feature films, able, less feature-rich
storyboards, two-column video, three-camera alternative to the big-
TV, live-tape TV, four-column video and cor- name screenwriting
porate video. It comes complete with a thor- programs by employ-
ough product manual with its install CD. ing Microsoft Word,
Script Werx requires as much RAM SideBySide develops
as Word requires (no additional RAM dual-column scripts by
needed) and about 12 MBs of disk space. also using Microsoft Word as a base.
Youll need Windows MS Word 97, 2000 Available from Simon Skills, SideBySide
or 2002. Mac needs Word version 98, 2001 offers a simple way of writing two-column
or MS Word X. scripts, multi-column scripts and script/
Price: $129.95. For more information storyboard formats for users of Microsoft
visit: Scriptwerx.com Word for both Windows and Mac.
Just like Final Draft AV, SideBySide
FINAL DRAFT AV helps Microsoft Word produce scripts for
While the original Final Draft helps writ- TV commercials, live shows and corporate
ers develop creative screenplays or television meetings, multimedia and interactive shows,
scripts, Final Draft speeches or presentations with visuals, docu-
AV is aimed at scribes mentaries, information and business films/
who work in the videos and textbooks or other manuscripts
dual-column world with marginal notes.
of television commer- After installing SideBySide, a writer
cials, corporate videos, would open the template that matches the
documentaries, music product he needs to produce. Its as easy
videos, radio commercials, news, infomer- as type, rinse, repeat for any number of
cials, speeches, corporate presentations and stored formats. The software internally cal-
interactive games. culates the minutes/seconds reading time
These forms of media require scripts with of the narration or dialogue you write.
visuals listed on the left and audio compo- Streamlined and efficient, SideBySide is a
nents (dialogue, sound effects or music) laid great tool for a reasonable price.
out on the right. Standard word processors Price: $84.95; verified students and fac-
cant effectively handle such formats, so Final ulty, $59.95. For more information visit:
Draft AV is a script-manufacturing word pro- Hollyword.com
cessor specifically designed for dual-column, In our next issue, well examine the soft-
audio/video scripts. ware products on the market that help you
Final Draft AV is built to handle multiple develop the stories you plug in to all of these
audio/video columns and keeps items aligned formatting systems.
when text is added, edited or deleted. Some
of the most helpful features include the
JOHN SCOTT LEWINSKI writes screenplays,
importing of previous scripts created in
books, articles and interactive media out of
any word-processing program into properly
formatted, dual-column scripts. Once cre- Los Angeles, CA. He is the author of the book
ated, scripts easily transfer between Mac Screenwriters Guide to Agents & Managers, and
and Windows machines via e-mail or disc his next book (Alone in a Room: The Secrets of
transfer. Since many media companies can Professional Screenwriters) will hit shelves in late
include both kinds of computers, this feature 2004. He is represented by the management
can come in handy. firm Benderspink of Hollywood, CA.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 27

 ECCEN
TR I C K S
ni
Bob Veri
by

I
n terms of the interplay of character, power of secondary characters prompted
most American comedies of the sound him to create the first true comic stock
era fall into two broad categories: Either company in American movies, the troupe
the central character is a clown who interacts that in a sense defined his career. Todays
with the real world, or the protagonists are screenwriters of comedy would do well to
normal folk beset by eccentrics. The former study him closely.
approach cuts through movie history in a As a director, Sturges has been justly
straight line from the Marx Brothers and celebrated for casting the same troupe of
Bob Hope to Danny Kaye and Martin and inspired, off-the-wall character actors in
Lewis, then just Lewis, to Jim Carrey, Adam film after film, in support of such straight
Sandler and the Saturday Night Live alumni. performers as Fonda, Stanwyck, Colbert
The writer lucky, or perhaps cursed, enough and McCrea (all of whom were shown off
to write for a clown knows that he mostly to greater effect as a result). He was famed,
has to put up antagonistsstuffy bankers, too, for always giving his stock company
annoyed neighbors, bright and witty things to say. (The dour
grande dames. He bartender in The Great McGinty perks up
then writes, [So and when told that a customer is ordering his
PHOTOS: Melinda Sue Gordon 2003
Universal Studios All Rights Reserved.

so] does his thing, very first drink: Sir, you rouse the artist
and audiences laugh in me.) But Sturges should be equally
(or not). celebrated for the ways in which, as a
Arguably, the screenwriter, he rendered the smaller roles
writer who works integral to the whole. They dont just stand
within the other out self-consciously but are carefully woven
broad category has into the fabric of each films plot.
a tougher job. The Consider one of the most endearing
normal characters and elegantly executed of Sturges minor
have to be inter- comic characters: the slightly deaf, little,
esting enough to old man in the first scene of The Palm
sustain the feature Beach Story (1942). Wandering around
length, and yet the New York apartment that his wife
TOP: George Clooney as Miles Massey and
not be overshadowed by the crazies and wants to rent, the man (Robert Dudley)
Catherine Zeta-Jones as Marylin Rexroth
zanies around them. The best of the early encounters the lady of the house in the
in the romantic comedy Intolerable Cruelty attemptsLubitschs Trouble in Paradise and bathroom. Gerry (Claudette Colbert) and
BOTTOM: George Clooney, screenwriter LaCavas My Man Godfrey come to mind her failed inventor husband are about to
Ethan Coen and director-screenwriter Joel have gained classic status. It was Preston be evicted. She loudly expresses her dis-
Coen on the set of Intolerable Cruelty Sturges, however, whose appreciation of the pleasure at his intrusion.

28 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " ] l [ ` n #
MAN for just under five minutes of screen time! In sum, then, The Wienie
You have a lovely, clear
That same richness and economy in the
voice. Like a bell. If King inspires and finances the
I were married to you use of secondary characters are to be found
I could hear everything throughout the Sturges oeuvre, a singular rea- heroines flight, makes the heros
you said, almost. But you
wouldnt like it. Besides, son why one finds something new to delight pursuit possible, introduces two
Im already married. in each revisit to his films. Biographer Diane
Jacobs writes of the attention Sturges lavished of the movies key themes
GERRY on his character actors, laboring over their (marriage and money) and
(Laughing a little) every gesture, caring not only about the
So am I. immediate laugh but about the lingering
gets the films first belly laughs.
impression. Together, these oddballs were as Not bad for just under five
MAN important to Sturges vision of the world as
Me too. Anyway, Id be minutes of screen time!
too old for you. Cold the protagonists themselves.
are the hands of time Moving forward 50 years, an even broader
that creep along re- (and even more often employed) stock com- viewers deem his scene to be out of place.
lentlessly destroying
slowly but without pity pany can be found in the films of Joel and Yet it couldnt be more apropos. Police Chief
that which yesterday was Ethan Coen, whose affinity to Sturges has Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand)
young. Alone our memo- been much commented upon. The title of encounters Mike, her old flame in a hotel
ries resist this dis-
integration and grow more their Iliad-inspired O Brother, Where Art restaurant. He is thrilled to see her (Geez,
lovely with the passing Thou? is taken from the movie-director you look great! I always liked ya so much.
years. Thats hard to protagonists dream project in Sullivans You were such a super lady!), joking and
say with false teeth.
Travels. Their recent Intolerable Cruelty admiring, and trying to sit on her side
GERRY laughs more warmly. plays as virtually a sequel to The Palm Beach of the booth, a ploy she politely rebuffs.
Story, examining the nexus of love, money Asked about his marriage to school chum
Funny stuff? Sure, but not just funny. As and divorce just as the earlier film examines Linda Cooksey, he falls to pieces: She had
it happens, Gerry is considering divorcing love, money and marriage. The Coens leukemia, you know It was a long ...
husband Tom (Joel McCrea) because she, vision of the world is more phantasma- she fought real hard, Marge. But later on,
as a pretty but unskilled trophy wife, cant gorical and alienated than Sturges. But, it Marge learns that Linda was Mikes stalker
provide him with the support he needs. The is no less anti-capitalist, and the populism victim, never his wife, and is very much
strangers words both chill and inspire her they share underlies their similar handling alive. Her surprise is nothing compared to
to make the break that she sees as her only of eccentric secondary characters. ours, and ours is mixed with delight.
chance. Youll get over being young, he Mike Yanagita (Steve Park), in Fargo, Thats it for Mike, even less screen time
warns her. One day youll wake up and is of particular interest because so many than The Wienie King and much less to
find its all behind you. Gives you quite

PHOTO: James Bridges 1996 Gramercy Pictures

a turn. Makes you sorry for a few of the
things you didnt do while you still could.
The little mans service to Gerry, and
to The Palm Beach Story, doesnt end
there. When he finds out shes penniless,
he produces a roll that would choke a
crocodile and hands her a thousand bucks:
Im cheesy with money. Im The Wienie
King. Invented the Texas Wienie. Lay off
em, youll live longer. Later on, Tom cant
imagine that such generosity came with no
strings attached, and his jealousy prompts
Gerry to make the final break. Her divorce
trip to Palm Beach is financed by The
Wienie Kings last hundred. Several hours
later, the sausage man returns to the flat,
hears the next chapter of the story from
Tom and promptly finances his trip to Palm
Beach to win Gerry back.
In sum, then, The Wienie King inspires
and finances the heroines flight, makes the
heros pursuit possible, introduces two of the
movies key themes (marriage and money) Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare star in Joel & Ethan Coens Fargo
and gets the films first belly laughs. Not bad

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 29

" ] l [ ` n #
While the characters

Studios All Rights Reserved.

PHOTO: Melinda Sue Gordon, SMPSP Touchstone Pictures/Universal
manner and traits may be big,

its important that the other

characters not remark upon

them. Part of the fun of a comic

eccentric is that the quirks that

are taking us by delighted

surprise are barely noticed

by those onscreen.
John Goodman stars as the eccentric Bible salesman Big Dan in Joel & Ethan Coens comedy O Brother,
Where Art Thou?

do with the story, if you take the story to suit, Coke-bottle glasses and cowboy hat, 3. GIVE THE CHARACTER A
be that of the crimes committed upstate. The Wienie King draws us in so much that STRONG OBJECTIVE
But if Fargo is seen as an exploration of the were hard pressed to watch Colbert when This point, of course, is Screenwriting
geography of human desireor as E. M. theyre sharing the frame. John Goodmans 101, but many writers give it little attention
Forster put it in Howards End, the need to salesman/Cyclops stand-in, Big Dan, grabs when constructing secondary characters.
only connectthen the restaurant scene similar focus in O Brother, Where Art Thou? Thats a mistake. The memorable eccentrics
is critical. Marge has what everyone else in A tip: You cant go wrong by letting your want things, and want them badly. Mike
the movie wishes for and never finds: genu- eccentric speak in a foreign language (Mary Yanagita needs to recapture his youth as a
ine physical and emotional commitment Astors protg Toto in The Palm Beach Story) lifeline, his last hope for connection. Big
to people and places. She moves through or with a thick, foreign accent (Alice Bradys Dan needs ultimate power. Perennial fuss-
her little Minnesota village with the same protg Carlo in My Man Godfrey). budget Franklin Pangborn has his best role
ease that characterizes her relationship with in Sturges Hail the Conquering Hero largely
husband Norm. But we need to see her 2. LET THE CHARACTERS because his super-objective is so profound:
out of her element in order to establish BEHAVIOR SURPRISE He will make the ceremonies run smoothly
how grounded she is. We need to see her US, BUT NOT THE OTHER or die trying. Even the smallest walk-on
momentarily throwntempted, even, by CHARACTERS should be given a genuine need, with some
the reappearance of a long-lost lovein While the characters manner and traits urgency: Joe Pettibone (Billy Gilbert) in His
order to fully appreciate her status as the may be big, its important that the other Girl Friday will stop at nothing to deliver
moral norm of Fargo. The scene with Mike characters not remark upon them. Part the reprieve for a convicted killer; and later
gets its laughs, but it strengthens character of the fun of a comic eccentric is that the on, after hes been packed off to a brothel by
and theme as well. quirks that are taking us by delighted sur- the corrupt mayor, he returns and will stop
Reviewing the minor roles in the films prise are barely noticed by those onscreen. at nothing to call the mayor to task.
of Sturges and the Coens, and considering In Beverly Hills Cop, Bronson Pinchots
other writers successful comic eccentrics, Serge (another thick accent) winks, minces 4. HAVE THE CHARACTER
some rules of thumb about how those roles and flirts with Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy), MOVE THE PLOT FORWARD,
work start to emerge. You can almost hear but the Detroit street cop never so much as WHETHER IMPEDING OR
Sturges advising his fellow writers to: raises an eyebrow. At several points in His AIDING THE PROTAGONIST
Girl Friday, you can almost see Cary Grants Weve already seen this rule in play in
1. GIVE THE CHARACTER amusement at the circus around himnot the way The Wienie King affects Gerry
LARGER-THAN-LIFE TRAITS his characters, but Grantsbut its quickly and Tom. A minor character who is simply
A minor character should never carry reined in. This is more of a directors concern brought in to react, or to provide informa-
minor aesthetic weight. Both in appearance than a writers, but still, the writer should be tion, or (heaven help us) just to get a cheap
and diction, he should rivet our attention and careful to omit other characters self-con- laugh is a wasted opportunity. Waring
that of the rest of the cast. In his oversized scious comments from the script. Hudsucker (Charles Durning) both sets

30 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " ] l [ ` n #
the Coens The Hudsucker Proxy in motion Blonde: She is a living embodiment of the characters populating your comedy, and
by his suicide and wraps it up by his return movies main theme, that empowerment can they have to do something while onscreen.
from the Beyond as a deus ex machina. be found in the unlikeliest of places. Why employ them as mere tools of the
In Intolerable Cruelty, Heinz the Baron Seeing The Palm Beach Story again and story? Why not take the time to establish
Krauss von Espy (Jonathan Hadary, and again over the years, I always thought that them as eccentrics in the classic Sturges and
yet another thick accent) trots on, destroys The Wienie King was perpetually delight- Coen traditions? Believe me, if you go to
the heroines first chances for a fortune and ful because his lines were so clever. It was the trouble of integrating your zanies into
trots off with the movie. In Miracle on 34th only when preparing this piece that I real- the plot and theme, and give them extreme
Street, Kris Kringles plight is solved in a ized the more subtle reasons for his strong traits and tasks, there will be no shortage
crisp, no-nonsense way by one ingenious impression. He is the first of many mil- of great character actors willing and able to
postal worker who figures out that the best lionaires who populate this farce about the bring those roles to life.
way to rid the office of junk mail to Santa effect of money on love, and hes the only The parade of eccentrics who end up
is to send it to the county courthouse. (The one who has a glimmer of true affection marching through your script could be
clerk is played by Jack Albertson. Talk for anyone or anything. All of the others one of the most memorable elements
about making an impression.) are feebs, narcissists, buffoons. What he about itand, perhaps, the element that
shares with Gerry, and with Gerry alone in gets it sold.
5. TIE THE CHARACTER the large cast, is generosity of spirit, a fact
INTO THE THEME established profoundly in their brief scene
This may be the most difficult suggestion together. Its the same generosity of spirit
BOB VERINI is a freelance writer, actor and stage
to follow, but it may be the most impor- that leads Gerry and Tom to their final rec-
tant in terms of creating truly remarkable onciliation. The Wienie King (theres even director. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild,
minor characters. Beverly Hills Cops Serge a bit of double entendre in his name, isnt and his plays have been performed at a variety
is Beverly Hillsfatuous, feckless and self- there?) encompasses all of the themes and
absorbedand his brief, oblique exchange all of the comedy in The Palm Beach Story; of theatres. He has also been a film critic and
with Axel is the movies main conflict in and while coming up with another equally theatre critic for daily newspapers and radio and
microcosm. Jennifer Coolidges brief scenes perfect character may not be easy, its got to
is the co-author of a forthcoming two-volume
as the abused manicurist Paulette arent be worth the attempt.
just a respite from the main plot of Legally Bottom line: Youve got to have minor history of Twentieth Century Fox film music.

Alex maneuvers Pat into a trap...

Alex learns Pats guilty secret
Pat rebels against Alexs control

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For Windows Copyright 2004 Ashleywilde, Inc. All rights reserved. Storybase is a trademark of Ashleywilde, Inc. Windows is a registered trademark of Microsoft Corporation.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 31

 THE FEATURE FILM
and the making of

b^gVXaZ by Kate McCallum

What actually happens from the moment the glimmer of a great idea enters the mind of its creator to the moment the glow of
light coming off a screen first projects that idea to the world? Our new series THE GREAT IDEA will take a demystifying look into
the oftentimes complicated and frustrating engine of media-making. We will deconstruct that curious juxtapostion where art meets
commerce by offering first-person accounts of how that paradoxical union works. Each article focuses on a case study of a concept
through the creative process, the development maze and finally to the screen, big or small. Examples will include the original, remade
and/or adapted feature film, the television hour-long and half-hour scripted series, the animated series, the animated feature, the
movie and/or mini-series for television, the documentary and the reality show. This premiere article is aptly titled Miracle and focuses
on screenwriter Eric Guggenheims experiences conceptualizing, selling and writing the screenplay for the feature film Miracle, a
movie based on the true story of coach Herb Brooks, and the Olympic gold-medal hockey team of 1980.

: ric Guggenheim graduated from NYUs Tisch School of the

Arts in 1995. Two years later, off the strength of a spec script,
he sold his first pitch to Fox 2000 at age 23. Though unpro-
duced, the script was well-received and garnered him an assignment
from Warner Bros. to write a drama for actress Neve Campbell. After
found out was the coach of the team, Herb Brooks, had been the
very last player cut from the 1960 team, which had been the last
team to win the gold medal. So here you had this character who
was so close to glory and just missed it, but then 20 years later he
got this amazing chance to redeem himself. Once I had that, I had
that, Guggenheim wrote and executive produced a one-hour drama the makings of a movie.
pilot called The Big for USA Network, and in 2003 he performed
an uncredited rewrite on the acclaimed FX/Fox TV Studios original scr(i)pt: So that was the ah-ha moment for you? Thats when you
film, 44 Minutes, which is to date the most-watched program in FXs got it?
10-year history. In January 2001, Guggenheim began pitching Miracle EG: Absolutely. Until that discovery, all I had was a series
to producers and studios. of great games leading up to this remarkable victory over the
Soviets, but there was no movie yet. Miracle is a sports movie,
scr(i)pt: When did you first get the idea for this movie? but the very best sports movies are those which tell stories that
ERIC GUGGENHEIM: The summer of 2000. My wife and just happen to take place against the backdrop of a particular
I were contemplating a trip to Salt Lake for the 2002 Winter sport. They still have to be movies, and Brooks backstory made
Olympics, and I started thinking about the 1980 Olympic team Miracle a movie. Additionally, through looking at newspapers,
and what they did in Lake Placid. I was only six years old at the magazines and periodicals of the time, I got a sense of this mal-
time, but I remember my dad watching the games, specifically aise that had taken hold of the country. You had all these prob-
the upset over the Soviets. He was so caught up in the moment. lems: the Iranian hostage crisis, gas lines, the Russians invading
Everyone was. So thinking about the upcoming games brought Afghanistan, skyrocketing unemployment and high inflation. So,
back all those memories of 1980 and I started to think maybe of all things, it was a hockey game that lifted peoples spirits. Put
theres a movie here. Unfortunately, all I really had was that game, in that context, the story was elevated to a movie, instead of just
which was really the third act. So I started researching. What I a sports movie.

32 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " n b _  a l _ [ n  c ^ _ [ #

PHOTOS: Chris Large Disney Enterprises

scr(i)pt: What would you then say the theme is in Miracle? studio to whom I pitched, and the executives loved it. They said they
EG: Certainly redemption. It was Brooks redemption, and it was wanted to go to the head of production, so they asked if I could give
the countrys redemption. them a treatment. I faxed a copy to them and then their boss wound
up passing anyway. Sometimes it is really difficult to sell a pitch
scr(i)pt: What research did you use? when you are not pitching to someone who can say yes. I have had
EG: Sports Illustrated had some great coverage as did The New York this experience recently where Ive gone out with a pitch, and every
Times. Its well regarded as the greatest moment in the history of executive to whom we pitched has been really enthusiastic; but then
sports, so there was enough in the public domain that I found it they have to go pitch it to their boss. Theyre not going to be able to
wasnt necessary to sit down with Herb Brooks or any of the players. pitch it as well as you can, so I dont mind giving them a treatment
if they ask for one.
scr(i)pt: What did you do to prepare for pitching?
EG: Initially I created a treatment which was about 20 pages long; scr(i)pt: What selling strategy did your agent come up with?
then from that I fashioned a 15-minute pitch. Within the treat- EG: My agents at the time were very skeptical about it. The feeling
ment almost every scene that was in the script was included. It was was, and I did wind up getting this from a lot of studios, Well, a.)
pretty detailed. its a TV movie, which, in fact, it was, and not a very good one. Or
b.) its a sports movie. That means that its going to be very diffi-
scr(i)pt: Do you enjoy the pitching process? cult making money outside of this country. No matter how hard you
EG: I get nervous every room I go into, but I also look at it as say, No, its not a sports movie; its a movie about redemption; its
free development. You go in and you pitch the story, and there an underdog film and its a movie about everything that was going
are a lot of sharp executives who will say, Well, what if you did on in our country at the time, the studios still see it as a sports
this? or, You dont really need this, so youre getting all this free movie and will still be skeptical. My manager, to her credit, relented
feedback from them. Even though I am nervous going in, I am and said, It is absolutely a movie; its about a guy who gets a second
pretty well rehearsed. chance, its not a story about hockey, and she just started setting
meetings with producers and studios.
scr(i)pt: Did you use any supplemental material to enhance your
pitch? scr(i)pt: So your manager actually did more to sell this than your
EG: I brought along some footage of the games but found it was not agents?
even necessary that I show it to them. A lot of the executives with EG: Yes, originally. Then once there was some positive feedback, the
whom I met remembered watching the games on television. I assem- agents were like, Well, maybe we were wrong about this, and then
bled a sort of highlight reel with all the key moments in the Olympics, they got involved and were more supportive.
and, of course, the game against the Russians, which was not the final
game. The game against Finland was actually the gold-medal game. scr(i)pt: Did you have to acquire any life rights at this stage?
EG: No, I didnt. It was my feeling, and my agents and manager
scr(i)pt: Did you leave behind anything? agreed, that it was public domain. Still Disney, after they said yes,
EG: No. When I pitch, I have about five to six pages of notes so I thought it prudent to go after the life rights. I didnt realize that
know where I am and all the details I want to hit. Quite often theyll something like that was even necessary, but I guess it is. For this
ask me to leave that behind; but I find when you leave something pitch that Im out with right now, we acquired the life rights to the
behind, its kind of giving them a reason to say no. There was one person upon whom the pitch is based.

( 2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 33

" n b _  a l _ [ n  c ^ _ [ #
scr(i)pt: To whom at Mayhem had you it for a bit, then said no because I felt if
originally pitched? I had to take some creative license, it was
EG: The two producers, Mark Ciardi and going to be that much harder because Ill
Gordon Gray. have met these people personally and there
might be a bit of a bond there. I decided
scr(i)pt: Then who went with you to Disney not to because I felt I had everything I
and to whom did you pitch? needed from what I had researched and
EG: Mark and Gordon came with me, and gathered from the public domain.
I pitched to Mark Vahradian, who is now a
producer himself. At the time, however, he scr(i)pt: Did you give your script to Mayhem
was vice president of production at Disney. before you turned it into Disney?
He got it immediately. EG: About a week before I gave it to Disney,
I gave it to Mayhem. They said that they
scr(i)pt: And he was able to say yes? were very pleased but of course they had a
EG: He was. So literally, between the time couple of notes. I turned those around pretty
I left Marks office and got to my car, I got quickly; then we handed it to Disney. Then
this phone call that Disney wanted it. It was I got on the phone with Mark Vahradian
Screenwriter Eric Guggenheim
fantastic because I had gotten passes from and Brigham Taylor, another Disney execu-
five other buyers, and I thought, Oh my tive, and they gave me their notes.
scr(i)pt: You personally acquired them? God, Im not going to sell this and its such a
EG: Yes, and that took months. From what great story; but Disney said yes, and then scr(i)pt: From how many people at Disney
I understand, Disney did not have the easi- another studio said yes. The other studio did you get notes?
est time getting the life rights to everyone was actually offering more money, but EG: Just Mark and Brigham. I dont know
involved in this story either. Its remarkable Disney seemed more enthusiastic and said, whether they showed it to everyone else at
that they did because youre not just getting Look, were definitely going to make this, the company, but I did get a memo that was
the rights to Herb Brooks and the assistant and that was really the clincher. about two-and-a-half pages of notes. They
coach, Craig Patrick, youre also getting the ran the gamut; there were some structural
rights to Jimmy Craig, Mike Eruzione, Jack scr(i)pt: How soon before you got to start notes, and there were a couple of character
OCallahan and everyone else. To their writing? notes. There was a real interesting note that
credit they managed to get them. EG: I was on a tough time frame. I only they wanted more hockey in the first act.
had eight weeks for the first draft, which is So, I went back and put in more hockey.
scr(i)pt: So how did you clinch the sale a little fast, because there was going to be
... what happened? To how many different a possible writers strike coming up so they scr(i)pt: Then basically everything from
production companies and producers did wanted to get started as quickly as possible. a historical and statistical point of view
you pitch? They really wanted to make it, so pedal to is true, but the characters, their dialogue,
EG: I literally went into 15 rooms, the metal basically. I did my first draft in their personalities and nature are from your
including producers and studios together, eight weeks and it was long. It was about imagination?
before Disney said yes. In the case of 134 pages, but its that old adage, I didnt EG: Certainly with conversations between
Mayhem Pictures, they had a deal with have time to write a shorter draft. So they characters, you are sort of hypothesizing.
another studio. I went to Mayhem and came back to me and said I would have to Definitely from all the interviews I read I
told them the ideamy takeand I did cut it: Youre going to have to cut more got a sense of their personalities, and from
the pitch. We then went to their studio than you would ordinarily, because these that I was able to get a handle on them
and the executive there wanted it; really hockey sequences last a page but onscreen character-wise. I didnt need to take much
fought for it, but the head of the studio theyre going to be a lot longer. I got ter- creative license. This is how these people
said, Its a Cold War movie. Thirteen rific notes back from Disney and they said were. Brooks was a bit of a bully. He was a
Days had just come out, which I thought they wanted another draft back in two manipulator. Jack OCallahan was a tough
was a terrific film, but it hadnt done very weeks, so thats what I did. guy, a bit of a street kid. Jimmy Craig was
well so that was their reason for passing. grieving over the loss of his mom, while at
Then after that pass, Mayhem wanted to scr(i)pt: Did you have to have an initial the same time worrying about how his dad
take it into Disney. I was actually going creative meeting to get you on a certain track, was coping. Mike Eruzione was desperate
to go to Disney without a producer. I had or did they just let you go off and write? to play hockey. He was 24 at the time, so he
already brought it to a couple of other EG: My pitch was pretty detailed; they was sort of over-the-hill.
producers at Disney who had passed, liked the take I had, what I wanted to do,
but my manager had set up a meeting on what I felt I should focus and what I scr(i)pt: I especially liked that you got
with executives there. Since their studio should ignore. By then, Disney had gotten into the whole regional challenges between
passed, Mayhem asked if they could go some life rights, and Mark Ciardi asked the players.
into Disney with me because they really me if I wanted to go meet with Herb EG: That was real. There was absolutely a
liked it, and we agreed. Brooks or Mike Eruzione. I thought about conflict within the team. More than half of

34 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " n b _  a l _ [ n  c ^ _ [ #
the team were from Minnesota, specifically scr(i)pt: From that point on, were you out of this story, but I found there were some really
the University of Minnesota. They were sort the loop as far as what happened to the movie interesting details that were overlooked. For
of rural kids. Much of the rest were from next? Would you speak to that from a writers example, Herb Brooks and his strategizing was
Boston University, so they were a little bit point of view? absolutely brilliant. I strove to incorporate that
more streetwise, a little more savvy. There EG: Creatively it was hard. There was still more into the story and present it in such a way
was definitely a culture clash, compounded I wanted to do. Things I wanted to fix or make that the lay person would understand what
by the fact that there was a major rivalry better. But the rational side of my brain said, he had done and why it was so brilliant. All
between U of M and BU. It all stemmed Well, its a business ... its their script now, the elements that I fell in love withI hope
from an incident that had happened a and the odds are that youre going to be rewrit- theyre still there: Herb Brooks redemption,
couple years before the Olympics. There was ten. Its rare that you have one writer from the and the big theme for me about the malaise
a bench-clearing brawl at a game, so there beginning of a project straight through until that had taken hold of the country. I hope that
was still a lot of tension between these two the end. After this project, I did another where theme is still in there because for me, that was
camps that Brooks had to deal with. I rewrote someone else, and I was the last writer a huge aspect of the storythat this hockey
on that project. Its the nature of the business. team lifted peoples spirits which I thought in
scr(i)pt: So you turned in two drafts? More often than not youre either being rewrit- and of itself was miraculous.
EG: Technically I did three. I did one draft ten or youre doing the rewriting, so in a very
for Mayhem, then the first draft that went rare case are you actually the only writer from Miracle premieres on February 6, 2004, and
to Disney was like a second draft, then I did the beginning to the end. Its the nature of the stars Kurt Russell as coach Herb Brooks,
a third draft. Although, not a lot changed business, and it seems to be getting more and Patricia Clarkson, Noah Emmerich and
between the producer draft and the first draft more like that. Eddie Cahill, and is being directed by Gavin
that went to Disney, so lets say two. OConnor. Eric Guggenheim received sole
scr(i)pt: So when you sit in the dark and you credit on the screenplay.
scr(i)pt: When did they start sending the script watch your story being told on the big screen for
out to directors and talent? the very first time, what do you hope to see and KATE MCCALLUM is an independent Los
EG: Im not exactly sure because after I did my feel about the final outcome of the movie? Angeles-based producer, writer and consultant.
drafts, Disney brought in Mike Rich, who did EG: For one thing, I strove to be accurate, She currently is producing a movie for Showtime
The Rookie for them, and he stayed on through right down to the smallest details of the games. and works on the TV series Law & Order. Kate can
production. Like I said, there was a TV movie version of be contacted at Lifeonthedrawingboard.com

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( 2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 35

 Lisa
"@lig M]lcjn ni M]l__h
l #

Mona
d ^ Z ] V
An Interview with
B Y D AV I D S . C O H E N

Mark Rosenthal
T
here are two tragedies in life, George Bernard Shaw wrote a
century ago. One is to lose your hearts desire. The other is to
gain it. Its easy to be reminded of that lesson when watching
Mona Lisa Smile, Revolution Studios holiday release from director Mike
Newell and screenwriters Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal.
On one level, thats the lesson the characters are learning, each in her
own way. The films heroine, Katherine Watson (played by Julia Roberts),
is a bohemian art history teacher from a working-class background who
journeys from California to Wellesley College to teach art in 1953. A proto-
An Interview with feminist at least 10 years ahead of her time, Katherine arrives excited to be
at the best womens college in America, but is disappointed at the schools
Mark Rosenthal emphasis on preparing its students for life as corporate wives. Meanwhile,
some of her students are learning the same lesson as they leap into their
designated roles as helpmates, only to discover that theyre miserable in the
life theyve always wanted.
The same lesson applies to the film as a whole, though, too. This is a
film that no studio would have made without Julia Robertstheres no
other actress with the charisma and clout to turn a story about a feminist
art teacher in an elitist 1953 girls school into a studio picture. Konner and
Rosenthal knew that when they first conceived the project. In fact, they knew
that even spending their time writing a pitch was a risk. Its very dangerous
to create a pitch when only one star can be in it, Rosenthal told scr(i)pt by
phone from his home in Pennsylvania, because your odds are like winning
ABOVE: Julia Roberts stars as Katherine Watson, an idealistic art his-
tory teacher, in Mona Lisa Smile, a Columbia Pictures release written by
the lottery. But we went to see Roberts partner, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas,
Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal PAGE 37 Julia Stiles (top) plays a and before we finished the second sentence of our pitch, she said, I love
budding Wellesley scholar and Kirsten Dunst (bottom, with Roberts) plays it. I want to do it.
a conservative student who clashes with Katherine But Roberts clout, especially her box-office appeal, means that every
movie she stars in is a potential blockbuster, and that brings temptation.

36 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " m ] l c j n  n i  m ] l _ _ h #
By the time Mona Lisa Smile made it onto the screen, it was more commer-
cial than what theyd written, arguably much less interesting and certainly
much less honest. Watching the movie in your local theater may well leave
you wondering if gaining Julia Roberts was really a happy thing for Mona
Lisa Smile.

A HIGH-CONCEPT TEAM
A glance at Konner & Rosenthals credits doesnt suggest that theyd choose
to write about an elite womens college in the 1950s; theyve worked in
many genres, from science fiction (Star Trek VI) to action (Jewel of the Nile)
to comedy (The Beverly Hillbillies). Learn their history, though, and its not
hard to see how they came to write Mona Lisa Smile.
We call ourselves a high-concept writing team, says Rosenthal. I have
a Doctor of Arts in Chaucer and Middle English, and Larry is a high school
dropout from Brooklyn. Both are serious literature buffs and readers, though;
and they both fell in love with movies.
They became friends almost 30 years ago while Rosenthal was at the
University of Vermont. Wed meet and just talk about movies, he recalls.
Rosenthal moved to California and finished his doctorate, but he wanted to
go into movies. He moved to Los Angeles and landed a job as a script reader for
the newly formed Orion Pictures, even though he had no idea how to evaluate
screenplays. Konner followed him to L.A., and they decided, like many script
readers, that we could write as badly as the scripts I was reading.
They wrote a screenplay, The Legend of Billie Jean, during writing sessions
in the food court of the newly opened Beverly Center shopping mall (now
best known for being inundated with lava in the movie Volcano). After it was
finished, Rosenthal made a trip east to attend to his father, who was having When you write historical projects, in
surgery. He got a call from Konner while he was in the hospitals intensive-
care unit: The screenplay had sold. To make it a true Hollywood tale, by the most cases youre not writing to be true
time I got back, a director had been hired, Guber & Peters were the producers
and the first thing the director did was to fire us so he could rewrite it. So I to the historical period. Youre writing
got my complete baptism in how Hollywood works. The movie was made
and though it wasnt a big hit, the writers were on their way. to let the historical period play to a

HILLARY AT WELLESLEY contemporary audience.

It was more than 20 years and many feature credits later that they came
across the inspiration for Mona Lisa Smile: a New York Times article by
playwright Wendy Wasserstein. Rosenthal remembers the title as Hillary
at Wellesley, but the Times archives dont have a story by that name. He is
most likely talking about an August 25, 1998 op-ed piece called Hillary
Clintons Muddled Legacy.
Responding to the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal, Wasserstein led off the
article with a quote from Hillary Rodhams 1969 Wellesley commencement
speech and went on to make the point that the disappearance from the public
mind of this idealistic Hillary Rodhamreplaced by a dutiful, supportive
first lady standing by her manwas one of the saddest consequences of the
scandal. Along the way she offered some insight into the womens colleges
that had shaped the last three first ladies: Hillary Clinton, Barbara Bush and
Nancy Reagan. Like their Seven Sisters classmates, all three women were
trained to develop an independent intellect as well as the grace to serve living
room teas, wrote Wasserstein.
I had no idea where this graduate of Yale Law School and childrens
rights advocate could possibly have picked up such a skill. But then I
remembered dressing for Gracious Living, a semi-weekly ritual at Mount
Holyoke that consisted of formal dinners complete with waitresses and
folded cloth napkins. Im sure Wellesley had its equivalent when Hillary
Rodham was a student, too.
The column got Konner and Rosenthal talking. Our joke was: imagine

( 2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 37

"m]lcjnnim]l__h#
making a movie about this. Itd never happen. For the lead character, Katherine, that meant
Mark Rosenthal on But as we got more interested in it, we said finding a way for her to represent the feminist
the importance of a Hillary was at Wellesley more as a child of the values of the 1990s without making her a
strong producer: 60s. We started to do research into Wellesley a complete anachronism. What we tried to do
generation before her. is not have her rely on any feminist vocabulary,
I went up to Wellesley, and the first copy of says Rosenthal. We wanted it to be about the
Screenwriter Mark Rosenthal has the college news I saw had a picture of a woman premature feminism manifested dramatically as
high praise for Mona Lisa Smile
producer Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas,
in a Donna Reed-type dress with pearls, at an someone whos making it up as she goes along.
whom he calls one of the last true oven with a frying pan in one hand and a book Today theres a pre-existing structure you can
producers in the movie business. He in the other, with a headline saying Married plug into, an idealogy, if you want to get into
also blames the dearth of strong pro- Women Make Best Students. We found these feminist agitation. [Katherine] doesnt have that.
ducers for many of the story prob- statistics showing that in that school 25 percent Shes flying by the seat of her pants.
lems aficting Hollywood.
of the students got married every year, and 75 The movie also touches on a problem con-
If you talk to writers, even if you
percent of them never used their training in any fronting feminism in 2003a problem that no
talk to studio executives, the main professional way. We realized that a generation one could have imagined at 1953 Wellesley: Is
problem in Hollywood today is no before Hillary, Wellesley was essentially the it all right to choose not to have a career? When
producers. There are people who call worlds most intellectual finishing school, a one of Katherines students chooses marriage and
themselves producers, who at the rst school for corporate wives. We began wonder- life as a housewife over her career, she explains to
sign of a studio pushing back, give up.
ing what if Hillary were in that school? What a disbelieving Katherine that this really is what
But, of the kind of producer who ac-
tually says, Ill put this project on my would have happened? Even though the vocab- she wants.
back and carry it across the goal line, ulary of feminism wasnt around, her intellectual The film is true to the period in one respect:
there are few. Everyone is just kind of nature would have clashed with that. Most of the characters smoke like chimneys,
a deal maker, just a gloried agent. We said to ourselves that would make a great even though in contemporary films few charac-
movie, but it would never get made by a studio. ters smoke. But when it came to sex, they faced
The exceptions are the obvious
guys: Jerry Bruckheimer, Scott Ru-
Theres only one person who could get that a much bigger problem.
din. I think a couple of others. Most movie made, and that is Julia Roberts. Their On the surface, sex would seem like the least of
producers, when you talk to them, successful pitch meeting with Elaine Goldsmith- a screenwriters problems. Almost anything goes
(you hear) Oh, the studio said this Thomas followed. Elaine said, Were going to nowadaysor does it? In fact, says Rosenthal,
and they wont do that, and Im go out on a limb, and were not going to do this an honest portrayal of the sexuality of the period
so frustrated working here. With
as an independent movie; were trying to do a was impossible.
these producers, its different. For
example, we once worked for Dino
big-budget Julia Roberts movie on a subject that Despite nudity and pornography, sexuality
De Laurentiis. De Laurentiis says, Im studios dont do anymore. This is not a project has become so Victorian today, because you
making this movie. Nothings going that studios like to make. Its something they cant allow a serious discussion of sexuality,
to get in my way. You never hear have to be forced to make, and Elaine and Julia Rosenthal explains. Audiences are uncom-
any doubt. He screams and yells and forced them to make it. fortable with an adult treatment of sexuality.
pushes. When Elaine says shes mak-
For instance, one of the great adult dramas in
ing the movie, it means shes making
the movie. Thats whats disappeared HOW HISTORICAL? the history of American cinema is Gone with
from the business. Its horrible, but Konner and Rosenthal started with a one- the Wind. In Gone with the Wind, you have lead
it means two things: It means the step deal, which meant they could be cut off characters, movie stars, who aint that faithful,
studio develops the project, so youre if their first draft didnt impress. Of course, who fool around. The lead guy essentially rapes
at the mercy of studio notes which their first draft was accepted, but getting to the lead girl in the middle of the movie and
are always dumber than producer
notes, and theres no one to protect
that first draft meant plunging into historical that starts their romance. Its a very frank adult
the screenplay. It also means when research. Unlike, say, Patrick OBrian and his movie in its sexuality.
a big-shot director comes onboard, approach to the books that spawned Master and Today, a studio would never let you have
and starts to take the project in a Commander, though, Konner and Rosenthal characters who have that kind of adult sexual-
wrongheaded way, it used to be the werent particularly determined to get every ity. They have to be good, and they have to be
who producer said, No, no, no, this is
detail exactly right. When you write historical sexually honest. They cant fool around and still
not the way Ive set up this project.
The producer would both protect the
projects, in most cases youre not writing to be be heroes; or if they fool around, they have to
director from bad studio notes and true to the historical period. Youre writing to let be punished for it. Sexuality has become infan-
protect the project from bad director the historical period play to a contemporary audi- tilized in American movies today.
tricks. Now with that strong producer ence. That means how am I going to interpret In Mona Lisa Smile, that idea affected how
gone, what happens is 80 percent of this historical period so that the contemporary Katherine starts an affair with a hunky fellow
directors are morons, and they dont
audience will feel the same emotion without teacher. Originally, they slept together at their
make good movies out of the script.
Theres no one there whose only al- making it unfaithful to the period? How do you first meeting. Instead, the affair had to be shifted
legiance is to the project, and thats let a contemporary audience into this world of later in the script, after theyd known each other
what a producer used to be. Wellesley without either boring them to tears or for months.
making these people so weird that (the audience) Konner and Rosenthal also saw most of the
cant assimilate the emotions. sexual banter theyd written for the students

38 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " m ] l c j n  n i  m ] l _ _ h #
disappear from the film. One scene, for else define beauty for them. Even, and most (in the diaphragm scene) the girls ask Joan if
example, has four senior girls hanging out especially, me. she did her Harvard boyfriends homework.
in a dorm smoking room: the aristocratic One other aspect of the original script was (She did.)
Betty (Kirsten Dunst), budding scholar Joan drastically toned down: the womens braininess. In fact, almost all of the films intellectual
(Julia Stiles); good-natured Connie (Ginnifer The women at Wellesley are truly the bright- banter has been cut out, says Rosenthal. The
Goodwin) and the schools token Jew, Giselle est women in the United States, says Rosenthal. studio was worried that the audience wouldnt
(Maggie Gyllenhaal). Connie discovers that In those days, he says, it was common for get it. Our position was that it doesnt make
Giselle keeps a diaphragm in her purse. Wellesley girls to make fun of Harvard boys. a difference if they get it. They would know
Originally, it was Connie takes out the Boys went to Harvard because their fathers that something was being spoken about, that
instructions and starts to read them and mime did; girls went to Wellesley because they were these girls like to show off their intellectualism
them, then it squirts out of her hand and hits smart. They were much smarter. Once a feature the way that some girls like to show off their
Betty. So we had done it more with the smart- of the script, only a hint of that remains when midriffs. Thats who Wellesley girls were.
alecky sexuality that existed in the period,
and it got cut way back. Part of me thought
you couldnt have Connie actually squatting
... we actually had her read instructions that
came with a diaphragm at the time. It may
have been too much for a modern audience,
but we were trying to shock them a little bit.
These were smart-aleck college girls.
Much of that smart-alecky quality was cut
even before the late production draft that scr(i)pt
read for this story, but one moment stuck out as
an example. Charlie, a Harvard boy, comes to
Wellesley to find Connie, with whom hes been
on one date. He interrupts her as shes practic-
ing her cello and kisses her. Its a very romantic
moment; and in the film, it ends there. In the
script, after they break from the kiss, she says, I
bet youve never kissed a woman with something
big and hard between her legs before. Then,
off his look, adds, I am so sorry. Did I wreck
the moment?

COMPROMISES ON SET
Even with all the sexual banter theyd written,
Revolution liked the script enough to attach
Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral) to
direct. (Longtime readers may remember that
this is the second From Script to Screen on
a Mike Newell picture adapted from a New
York Times article; the first was Pushing Tin.)
Shooting began only about 18 months after
Konner and Rosenthal started work.
Inevitably, there were cuts and changes in
productionmany that the writers resisted.
Some of the oddest cuts in Mona Lisa Smile
eliminated many of the references to the
Mona Lisa that inspired the title. In the fin-
ished film, theres a scene between Betty and
her rigid mother that touches on the painting,
but it seems to have been added late. The
screenplay had other references, all deleted:
Katherines teacher boyfriend likes to call her
Mona Lisa, and theres a classroom scene
in which she lectures on why she doesnt like
Da Vincis painting. She urges the students
to think for themselves and not let anyone

( 2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 39

"m]lcjnnim]l__h#
One scene had Betty being teased about art. More importantly, her conflict with the soften this and that, make sure Julias fans will
being the product of B. F. Skinner-style behav- Wellesley establishment, instead of coming like it. After all, studios exist to make money,
iorist programming; Skinner was a hot topic across as a battle over ideas, turns into a fight and Sony Corp. is facing tough times world-
on campuses at the time. The teasing led to an that seemingly has more to do with breeding wide. Why should they make an art film when
argument, but the Skinner reference was cut. and snobbery. Its a pat Hollywood clich that they can cash in with a Julia Roberts movie?
Even references to the girls reading The Catcher flatters the audience, and its probably a good Some people will like Mona Lisa Smile. It
in the Rye were cut. commercial choice, but it has little to do with could find an audience as a middlebrow chick
There was a beat where the classes say to the ideas that got the whole project started in flick. The 50s soundtrack and the retro image
[Katherine], Your boyfriends in California the first place. of young people in the swing-dancing, pipe-
and youre here. Katherine says, Well, even If Mona Lisa Smile had been made as a low- smoking, martini-drinking lifestyle will draw
Persephone got six months off from hell. When budget indie with a lesser light in the lead, it some hipsters, too, though that is starting to
they were shooting, they said, Oh, we cant do might have been very different. But to be fair, feel a little five minutes ago. In the end,
that, people wont know who Persephone is. We that doesnt mean that Roberts is at fault here. though, Roberts was Mona Lisa Smiles hearts
said, Thats how those girls talked. But theres In fact, Rosenthal is quick to praise her. She did desire, and its an open question: What would
nothing you can do about that as the writer. not let them doll her up like they wanted to, he have been sadder, to lose her or to gain her?
says. He is right; her hair is plain, she plays her age The answer is something viewers will have to
CLASS WARFARE and wears little makeup. For a movie star whose decide for themselves.
The result is that theres not much sense of career depends on her ability to breed and feed
just how brilliant and gifted these women were, fantasies, that really was a brave choice.
so it doesnt seem all that sad that theyd aban- But when you get Julia Roberts on a big- DAVID S. COHEN is a freelance writer, pho-
don their gifts to become housewives. Another budget studio picture, you have a Julia Roberts tographer and documentary filmmaker whose
result is that the film becomes yet another movie. On the one hand, that means costs are
byline has appeared in periodicals around the
movie about regular folks teaching stuck-up high, so you need to make big bucks to recoup
smart people how to be real. Katherines your expenses. On the other hand, it also dangles world, including Premiere and Discover maga-
classroom scenes, in which she is supposedly the possibility of nine-figure grosses far beyond zines. He is a frequent contributor to Variety
teaching art history, mostly turned into vague your costs. The temptation to dumb a picture
and is co-producer of the award-winning
discussions in which Katherine tries to open down and pretty it up in pursuit of box office
her conservative students minds to modern can be enormous. Trim here, simplify there, documentary Silver Dreamer.

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 B
Adapting

IG
FISH
by John August
A

M
y first impression of Daniel Wallaces novel? For such a small
sma book, it sure
w as heavy.
was
fi read
I first d Bi Fi h A Novel
Big Fish: N l off M hi P
Mythic i iin manuscript
Proportions i fform:
essentially a stack of double-spaced pages that comes, unbound, in a cardboard
box. Compared to the double-bradded, 120-page orderliness of a screenplay, a
novel in its unpublished form seems primitive and rawand frankly, amateur.
After all, in screenwriting one learns to obsess about the flow of words on the
page, carefully tweaking every line break. Ive rewritten scenes just to keep a
dialogue block intact. Here the words were chosen simply to tell the story. It all
seemed so unprofessional.
This was during the fall of 1998. My first produced film, Go, was stuck in never-
ending post-production, and I was actively looking for a new project, preferably
one that wouldnt pigeonhole me as a guy who writes comedies about teenage drug
dealers. So I cracked open the cardboard box and read Big Fish.
My second impression of Wallaces novel was that it was great.
The book tells the story of Edward Bloom, a Southern braggart who is now lying
on his deathbed. On four separate occasions, his grown son tries to have a heartfelt
what-it-all-means talk with him; but each time he does, Edward tells bad jokes
and impossible tales. Edward is slippery, and slipping away. The rest of the book
recounts various adventures Edward claims to have had over the course of his life,
which range from tales of Herculean labors to climatic impossibilities, such as 14-
foot snowstorms in Alabama.
The writing was simple, weird and imaginative. It clearly offered a lot of cinematic
moments. But what attracted me most were the things that werent even on the page.
I knew that the son, Will, was a reporter in Paris and married to a pregnant French

42 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " ` _ [ n o l _ #

photos by Zade Rosenthal

2003 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All
PPAGE 42: Among Edward Blooms (Ewan McGregor) adventures is a visit to the picture-perfect town of Screenwriter John August
SSpectre where he befriends the young Jenny (Hailey Anne Nelson) in Columbia Pictures fantasy-rich family
ddrama Big Fish, written by Daniel Wallace (novel) and John August (screenplay) and directed by Tim Burton
AABOVE: Danny DeVito as Amos in Big Fish BELOW: George McArthur and Ewan McGregor in Big Fish

w
woman. Thats nowhere in the story, but I and forth between the real world and six weeks freezing in Toronto. Then Sony
w
was absolutely certain it was true. There the fantasy version of Edwards life. The asked if I would take a look at Charlies
wasnt a circus anywhere in the book, yet
w studio was mostly concerned about the Angels because Drew Barrymore had just
I immediately sensed where it would fit. tone: Would it be a comedy or a drama? signed on to star and produce. I wrote
IIn short, I knew so much about the story I I described it thusly: Its funny, then its two drafts. Then the WB show was picked
wanted to tell that I had to write the script
w funny, then its funny, then youre laughing up for series, which meant six months of
iimmediately. through tears, then its over. They relented, co-executive producing a Canadian-based
I brought the book to Sony, who was and I suddenly had a book to adapt. drama about Washington interns. I was
rreleasing Go, and begged them to option There were no producers attached to busy and miserable.
tthe rights for me. Since the novel doesnt the project, so I dealt directly with the Then I was booted from Charlies Angels.
hhave a conventional ploteach little story author. I first met up with him during Then I was booted from my television series.
is essentially self-containedthis took a a research trip to Washington, D.C. for Suddenly, after 18 months, I could start
fair amount of convincing. Structurally, an ill-conceived WB show. Over lunch at adapting Big Fish the book into Big Fish the
the movie would work somewhat like The IHOP, Wallace and I talked about the movie. But I had no idea where to begin.
Princess Bride, in that we would move back book, trying to sort out its mysteries. Was Over the months, my enthusiasm for the
the Witch really Jenny Hill? Who was the project had dissipated. I started to wonder
Girl in the River? Wallace had answers, but if Sony had been right all along, and there
more impressively, he didnt insist on being really wasnt a cinematic story to be told.
right. Everything was open for interpreta- But since I owed them a screenplay, I tried
tion. He didnt see anything in his book as my best to bang one out. I started with
being sacred and untouchable. the low-hanging fruit, the easily cinematic
Energized from our conversation, I was scenes that could be adapted almost directly
set to write the screenplay. And then I from the novel. Wallace started his tale
didnt. with a dustbowl sequence in which Edward
Blooms birth ends a decades-old drought.
ONE THING AFTER The sequence was quick and easy to write,
ANOTHER and felt like a movie. Unfortunately, it
First, Sony asked me to do some work didnt involve any of the movies primary
on Blue Streak, changing a character who characters, so it didnt do much to pave the
had been written for Nicolas Cage to one way for the rest of the writing. I needed to
suitable for Martin Lawrence. Then the ill- tackle some fundamental issues first.
conceived show I was developing for The The biggest challenge in adapting the
WB was ordered for pilot, which meant novel was figuring out exactly who was

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 43

" ` _ [ n o l _ #
EDWARD
Sandra Templeton! I love
you! And I will marry
you!

The most complicated use of voiceover

ended up being the first 10 pages of the
screenplay, which needed to set up all of the
primary characters (Older Edward, Younger
Edward, Will, Josephine and Sandra). It
also needed to explain the reason for Will
and Edwards not speaking to each other,
the fact that Will lives in Paris, that Edward
is dying, that Josephine is pregnant and still
be entertaining.
The result was a sequence in which the
younger and older incarnations of Edward
tell a single story over the course of 27 years.
With each time cut, we see Will growing
ABOVE: Ewan McGregor stars as Edward Bloom PAGE 45: Steve Buscemi stars as Norther Winslow older and more annoyed with his larger-
than-life father until the tension finally
snaps at Wills wedding to Josephine. Oddly
telling the story of Edwards life. His son awful. There is a ton of voiceover by a for a family drama, the only argument in
Will is the narrator of the novel, although total of four characters. In its defense, the movie happens very early on:
we dont learn much about him. Yet in the this is a movie about storytelling. There
movie I had promised Sony, Will was sup- are obviously going to be moments where WILL
posed to be a major character with back- a characters in-scene dialogue will carry I am a footnote in that
story. I am the context
story, conflict and growth. The idea was over into voiceover. However, in most for your great adventure.
that Will would come to understand his cases the voiceover has very little to do Which never happened!
father by finding the truth in these impos- with the scene its playing over. Instead, Incidentally! You were
selling novelty products
sible stories. its giving you flavor that you couldnt get in Wichita the day
This was the problem. If the movie is about just through images: I was born.
Wills not understanding his fathers stories,
why is he telling them in the first place? EDWARD (V.O.) EDWARD
I needed to find a new way to get into Fate has a cruel way of Come on, Will. Everyone
circling around on you. likes that story.
Edwards stories. The solution was to have After all this work to
Edward tell the stories himself. Over the leave Ashton, the girl
I loved was now engaged WILL
course of the movie, I would build moments No Dad, they dont. I
to one of its biggest
where he could launch into his tales, which jerks. do not like that story.
would then bridge us into the fantasy world. Not anymore, not after
Wills wife Josephinewho doesnt exist in He EXITS FRAME, leaving only a thousand times. I know
the sorority house in the all the punch lines,
the bookbecame an important resource, background. Dad. I can tell them as
since hers were a set of fresh ears to hear the well as you can.
tales. Other stories could come from more EDWARD (V.O.) (contd) (closer)
oblique angles. Early in the script, Will sees Theres a time when a For one night, one night
a kid making hand-shadows and remem- man needs to fight, and in your entire life, the
bers his fathers illustrating a story with his a time when he needs to universe does not revolve
accept that his destiny around Edward Bloom. It
hands. Later on, Will peers into his child- is lost, that the ship revolves around me and
hood bedroom and remembers his fathers has sailed and that only my wife. How can you not
watching over him when he had chicken a fool would continue. understand that?
pox. In both cases, reality triggers flashback,
A beat. Edward steps back INTO
which in turn triggers fantasy sequence. Its FRAME, looking at the sorority After this fight, Will and Edward dont
a complicated way to do it, but ends up house. speak to each other for three years, and we
feeling natural for the movie. suddenly move into Wills voiceover. This
EDWARD (V.O.) (contd) was a tough decision. Usually, you only
TELLING TALES The truth is, Ive give storytelling power to one character
always been a fool.
Every screenwriting book will tell you in a movie. But in this case, Will was just
that voiceover is the mark of bad film- as much the hero of the story as Edward.
making. By that standard, Big Fish is We CIRCLE as he shouts: Giving his character the ability to talk

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directly to the audience early in the film
signaled that he was to be taken seriously.
For most people watching the movie, Will is
the one to whom they relate the most. Hes
ordinary. Hes human. Hes me.

AN ACCIDENTAL
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
One of the complications in adapting
the novel was that Wills story pretty closely
mirrors my own life. I lost my father in col-
lege after a long illness; and while we both
made an effort to know each other better in
those last years, we were fundamentally alien
to each other. As Will puts it:

WILL (V.O.) a person fight cancer for three years with- so that I could keep timelines consistent.
I didnt see anything out learning a lot about doctors, hospitals More than any screenplay Id written before
of myself in my father,
and I dont think he saw and nutritional supplements. I knew what or since, I just wrote him as myself. While
anything of himself in to put in the movie. More importantly, I I hope the character embodies some of my
me. We were like strang- knew what to leave out. Theres a matter- better qualities, he certainly incorporates
ers who knew each other
very well. of-factness that develops when a person is some of my worst. Hes stubborn and self-
dying which has nothing to do with medical defeating. Hes eager to please but desper-
My dad was nothing like Edward Bloom, jargon and morphine drips. By keeping it ate for praisea grade-grubber grown up.
but my relationship to him had the same simple, I kept it more honest. Worst of all, he insists on being right, even
dynamic as the relationship in the movie In terms of Will himself, I made him a when theres no right to be found.
I was writing. For some of the details, this journalist because thats what I studied in Compared to the gregarious Edward,
was extraordinarily helpful. You cant watch college. I made him my age (28 at the time) Will is more difficult to embrace. I knew

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 45

" ` _ [ n o l _ #
to a point. They felt the movie was charm- I was dean, provost and head cheerlead-
ing but expensive, a deadly combination. erwas to split the role into a Younger
With all the special effects in the fantasy Edward, who would handle ages 18 to
sequences, the budget looked to climb over 40, and an Older Edward, who would
$60 million, which was a very high price handle ages 50 and over. With this in
tag for what they ultimately saw as a small, mind, I wrote a new sequence specifically
intimate movie. They honored my contract, for the Older Edward character, in which
however, and let me write a second draft. he inadvertently becomes a Texas bank
This version was better, tighter and not a robber at the height of the 1980s savings
dime cheaper to shoot. and loan debacle.
Without any momentum, the movie My school won. We cast Ewan McGregor
was pretty much dead. I took the script and Albert Finney as the younger and older
to Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, who had Edwards. We decided that McGregor would
just produced American Beauty. The film play all of the fantasy sequences, leaving
hadnt won its Oscars yet, but was very Finney all the real-world scenes. A trun-
much admired around town. When Jinks cated version of the bank robbery sequence
and Cohen agreed to sign on as producers, written for the older character was moved to
Sony couldnt say no. After all, they were be part of Younger Edwards timeline.
well-regarded producers who had just made The rest of the cast filled out quickly.
a difficult comedy-drama inside the studio Billy Crudup would play Will. Jessica
Ewan McGregor as Edward Bloom and system. Working through another draft Lange and Alison Lohman would share the
Hailey Anne Nelson as the young Jenny in with them, we finally had a script the studio role of Sandra. Danny DeVito took the role
Big Fish
would let us send to directors. of circus owner Amos Calloway, a charac-
But the list was short and filled with ter Id created with him in mind. Helena
that when I wrote him. But knowing that impossible names. Since the movie was Bonham Carter would take the dual role of
still didnt prepare me for the notes I going to be expensive, Sony wanted an the Witch and Jenny Hill.
would receive, most of which began with A-list director. After a protracted courtship One of the best scenes in the movie came
some version of, We dont like Will. I with one such name-brand filmmaker, we fairly late in its development. I was happy
fought the temptation to stand on my finally found our man in Tim Burton, who but surprised when Jessica Lange signed
chair and shout that I was Will, and that was looking for a more intimate movie on to play Sandra, because the role wasnt
any attack on the character was an attack after a series of marketing-driven tentpole particularly rewarding. Since the real drama
on me. I fought the temptation to soften pictures. He came onboard the project is between father and son, Sandra ends up
the character because to do so would soften along with producer Richard Zanuck. playing mother and nurse. You like her, but
the inherent drama in the story. To me, it Burton liked the script just the way it was. she isnt all that memorable.
didnt matter if you liked Will, as long as After years of trying to placate directors I met with Lange in New York during
you understood his motivation. for various projects, it was disconcerting costume fittings, and was struck, as most
for me not to be tweaking and changing, people are, by how beautiful and ethereal
HOW TO MAKE A MOVIE, trying new things to tailor my vision to she is. As she tried on clothes with costume
SLOWLY someone elses vision. Burton just wanted designer Colleen Atwood, Lange kept
All told, it took five months to write the to make the movie. My longest meeting pushing for more sensual and revealing
first draft of the script, more than double with him probably lasted half-an-hour, 15 outfits, exactly the opposite of what youd
what it usually takes me. Part of the delay minutes of which was spent with one of us expect for the Alabama housewife character
was the complexity of the story. Part of it saying, Absolutely. I agree. she was playing. Lange argued that Sandra
was the release of StarCraft, an insidi- When it came time for casting, figur- wanted to dress nicely for her husband.
ously addictive videogame that has been ing out how to handle Edward became She wanted to be touched, caressed. Lange
the downfall of screenwriters much stronger a problem. Since we follow the character wanted the audience to sense that the
than I. But when the script was finally fin- from the day hes born until the day he dies, Older Sandra and Edward still had the
ished, I sent it to Daniel Wallace, who liked we would potentially need several actors to passionate romance that wed seen in their
it. He had never read a screenplay before, play his various incarnations. One school of younger incarnations.
so it was obviously disconcerting to read a thought was to pick an actor in the middle I thought she was absolutely right.
variation on his own work; but he offered range of ages, say Tom Hanks or Russell I also thought the script wasnt giving
surprisingly objective criticism. Crowe, and age him up or down as appro- her any moments to support that idea.
(In fact, Wallace was so taken with the priate. This discussion was coming right Scribbling on hotel stationery, I wrote out
screenplay form that he became a screen- after Crowe had done A Beautiful Mind, a bathtub scene with Edward and Sandra
writer himself. In addition to his novels, and there was a sense that the same type of that felt like it always belonged in the
hes now writing an original movie for prosthetics that aged him in that film could movie. When we previewed the film for
Universal.) be used in our film. an audience, the scene ranked as one of
The studio read the script and liked it, up The other school of thoughtof which the most-liked.

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We began shooting in January, 2003. A Once they wrapped, Burton began edit- called Daniel Wallace to tell him the good
little over four years had passed since Id ing in London. As months passed without news. He demanded to know everything that
first read Wallaces novel. In the dozen or news from the editing room, the fear set had changed from the script. As I started to
so drafts Id written during that time, pretty in. I convinced myself that the movie was list the cuts, I could sense his apprehension.
much every word had changed, but the doomed. The structure was too complicat- But it doesnt matter, I explained. Its dif-
structure of the movie was almost exactly ed, too confusing. The fantasy sequences ferent, but its exactly the same.
the same. It had good bones. were too strange, or not strange enough. In that moment, I remembered opening
As it turned out, the very first sequence The Will charactermy doppelganger the cardboard box to read his original man-
I wrote, in which Edwards birth ends the was insufferable. uscript. Even as I read it that first time, I
dustbowl, was cut from the movie just Then I saw the finished product. The knew I would make huge changes in order
before production. The budget was already movie worked in very much the same way to convert it into a movie. But that didnt
too high, and this sequencewhich didnt the script had. The story was easy to fol- matter. The story would be different, but
involve any main characterswas easiest to low, and the balance between fantasy and ultimately, inherently, it would be exactly
drop. On Tim Burtons suggestion, I wrote reality made sense. The love story between the same.
a new scene in which newborn Edward is so Edward and Sandra had moved closer to
slippery that no one can catch him. It was the foreground, even though scene-for-
cheaper to film and nicely set up the quirky scene it was just the way I wrote it. Most
JOHN AUGUST wrote and co-produced Go.
nature of Edwards stories. importantly, Will didnt come off as a
The movie was shot on location in whiny twit. His other credits include Titan A.E. and both
Alabama and Paris. After spending two The most rewarding moment of that
Charlies Angels movies. He is currently working
weeks on set during pre-production, I left first viewing came during an important
to begin filming another (ill-fated) television plot twist near the end. Sitting in the audi- on an adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs Tarzan
pilot in Vancouver. I returned to set several ence, I found myself panicked, wondering
and a new version of Barbarella. Born and raised
months later to find everything was going what was going to happen next.
smoothly. Too smoothly. Happy sets gener- Of course, I knew. Id been working on the in Boulder, Colorado, he earned a journalism
ally result in bad movies, or so the truism damn movie for five years. But the fact that
degree from Drake University and an MFA in film
goes, and the worst calamity to befall Big the story could still surprise me meant that
Fish had been unusually persistent rain. something special was at work. I immediately producing from USC.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 47

 PHOTO: Merrick Morton
PHOTO: Jim Sheldon
PHOTO: Jim Sheldon
How I
wrote

by Guillermo Arriaga
To Patricia, my sister, who is always there

THE IDEA I told this idea to director Alejandro THE BIG QUESTIONS
I was driving to my birthday party, 15, Gonzlez Irritu when I met him. There I have a 12-year-old daughter, Mariana,
maybe 14, years ago and I was late. I didnt was no story, no plot. Just that: an idea. But and a 10-year-old son, Santiago. When
know what kind of excuse I was going to we both thought there was something more Santiago was four or five years old, he asked
give Maru, my wife. She and my friends in there. me, If I die, will you ever smile again? Will
were waiting for me. Suddenly, on one side you ever play again? I didnt know how to
of the road I saw ambulances and patrol THE STORY answer him. Mari Carmen, my sister-in-law,
cars. I stopped to find out what was going I had just finished the screenplay of had lost her two-year-old son when he fell
on. The university where I taught was in Amores Perros, and I was in Spain promot- into a swimming pool. When they found
the outskirts of the city, and that was the ing the Spanish edition of A Sweet Scent him, it was too late. She and her husband
road most of my students rode on their way of Death, my second novel. I went with suffered the terrible pain of losing a child.
home. I just wanted to make sure nobody I my wife to Sevilla and; on the way back, But life went on; they had other kids, and
knew was hurt. There was a man, 30, maybe on the AVE train, I fell asleep. Suddenly, three years later she smiled and played
35 years old, lying on the dirtdead. A car coming from nowhere, I dreamt the story again. My son didnt understand how that
had run over him. A police officer took out of 21 Grams: A guy runs over a father and could happen, how someone could ever
his wallet. He found his name on an ID and his young daughters. Another man, termi- smile again after such a terrible loss.
a photograph of the man with a woman and nally ill, receives the heart of the father and Once I took Mariana and Santiago to
two kids, all smiling. Now that same smiling goes to look for the widow. The man who the set of Amores Perros. I wanted them
man was lying dead on the road in the dark killed this family feels so guilty he runs away to see the scene that came after the car
night. Two kids and a woman were waiting from everything. That was what I dreamt, accident. Three weeks earlier they had
for him. The event obsessed me. and I trusted my instinct. That night I watchedwithout my permissionthe
I thought: What if I ran over a man and called Alejandro and woke him up. It was film IT, about a murderer clown. They had
his two daughters? What if I arrived late to 4 a.m. in Mexico City. Negro (that is his been having nightmares every night, so I
my birthday party because I had killed a nickname) I got the story, I got it, I told wanted them to see that movies are not
family? What would I say to my wife? How him. What is it about? he asked. I told real, that they are just a representation of
would I feel? That accident became the gen- him about my dream. Okay, write it. Im reality and not reality itself. I wanted my
esis of 21 Grams. with you, he told me. children to see the fake blood, the fake fire,

48 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 "qlcn_lmihqlcncha#
them in a straight line. We jump from one
point to the other. I also went back to an
old short story of mine, In Peace. It also
jumped back and forth in time. So I started
putting different scenes together with no
time connection between one and the
other. I jumped from one scene in the pres-
ent to one in the past to one in the future

PHOTO: Jim Sheldon

to one in the past, and so on. My challenge
was trying to make it work narrativelyto
have enough dramatic questions to keep the
readers interested and allow them to con-
struct a parallel story in their minds, filling
in on their own the huge gaps of informa-
tion that the structure left out.
I gave the first 20 pages to my father
and to Maru. They are both my best crit-
ics and tough readers. They were hooked.
PAGE 48 (LEFT TO RIGHT): Benicio Del Toro, Melissa Leo, Sean Penn and Naomi Watts star in 21
Grams, a Focus Features release ABOVE: Sean Penn and Naomi Watts in 21 Grams Whats next? both asked. At least the
narrative was working.
We all know that one scene has a mean-
Gael Garca and Goya Toledo acting, not the concept in an old French novel. I had ing by itself and a completely different one
actually dying. read about it in some magazine. I agreed, when it is linked to a scene before and a
The scene was brutal. Those who watched 21 Grams was the perfect title. Alejandro scene after. I wanted to go beyond the con-
the film know what I am talking about. In always finds titles that say much more ventional, so I went for symbolic choices.
the middle of the scene, Mariana, seven than what is implied. He did so with I started writing scenes in a contrasting
years old then, asked me if we could go Amores Perros and also with 21 Grams. He order, so that the structure itself would
for a walk. I was excited and I didnt want has the virtue of emotional synthesis. help change the audiences perception of
to leave the set, but she begged. She was I really dont know if losing 21 grams at the story, making it much more emotional.
shocked and she wanted to get away, so we the exact moment of death is a scientific That was my main goal: Make the story
started walking holding hands. Suddenly, fact. I used it as a metaphor of the weight a emotional, not just intellectual. I wanted
she stopped and asked me, Why are they dead person has over those who remain alive. the screenplay to challenge the heart as well
making such a horrible film? There are loved ones who, after their death, as the mind. Im not interested in creating
My love, I answered, I wrote this remain with us all of our lives. We miss them jigsaw puzzles. I like structures that help
film. every single day, and, of course, life goes on, the audience get involved in the emotion of
Why did you write that? but their absence follows us forever. the story, so they can smell, touch, see, feel.
Because thats what I have inside my Thats it: feel.
heart. THE STRUCTURE The next step was to build the structure
She stared at me for a while. What a I am a huge fan of William Faulkners carefully, trying to have large narrative
horrible heart you must have, she said. literature. Also of Juan Rulfo. Both of them ellipses, but with an emotional continuum.
I wrote that film as a response to always find ways to tell each story differ- So, in order to achieve that, I needed to
Santiagos question, to tell him that no ently. That is their great lesson: Every story create a balance within the scenes, a kind of
matter how terrible the death of a loved one has a particular way it has to be told. narrative yin yang. I combined passive scenes
was, life has a much bigger power. That life I strived to find the right structure for 21 with active ones; scenes that posed questions
has a healing power in itself. That life, in Grams. When I started writing the story, it with scenes that answered them. Sometimes
the end, goes on. had a different structure. It was like a cube in one scene I presented the facts in a certain
I also wrote that film to show Mariana that showed another side of the story at way, and then, in another scene, I changed
what I have inside my heartmaybe it every turn. But it wasnt working. those facts completely. I was looking for a
is horrible, maybe not. Shell be able tell One night I was going through some old way to make the audience be much more
when shes old enough to see these two manuscripts. I found an unfinished novel participativeto have a constant dialogue
films, and when she can read my novels. that I intended to write when I was 24. The with the film, to create and recreate the story.
But, horrible or not, my stories are always novel began with a dying man who thinks: There were themes that could improve this
written from the heart. So this is deaths waiting room, these ridicu- involvement: love, death, life, hate, revenge,
lous tubes, these needles swelling my arms, forgiveness. So I tried to use scenes with
THE TITLE and then it went back and forth with scenes contrasting emotional themes; for example,
I gave Alejandro one of the first drafts of his past and present life. There I found scenes of love and then scenes of revenge.
of the screenplay. It had another title. He the clue for the structure: Tell the story as we Then there was light. I am obsessed with
suggested 21 Grams. He had read about tell our own daily life stories. We never tell light, and I think it can completely change

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 49

" q l c n _ l m  i h  q l c n c h a #
THE THEMES

PHOTO: Merrick Morton

a metaphor for when they took Jesus prison-
er, when everything in his life became dark. When I wrote 21 Grams, I wanted to
So I used night scenes for the next 35 pages explore the way a human being can fulfill his
as a metaphor of death, a metaphor for the need of hopenot the easy way but through
abyss the characters were going to confront. the hell that some people live. How could
On the final 40 pages, I used mostly after- these people, submerged in a deep abyss,
noon and evening scenes: The characters overcome their pain, their fears, their guilt,
lives are going through light and darkness. I their desire for revenge and find hope again?
tried to have the climax happen during the Where in the darkest places can someone
night and then have the montage of the last find the hidden road toward hope?
scenes with different lighting. My three characters come from personal
The reason for this final montage goes hells: Jack (Benicio Del Toro) comes from
back 18 years ago when I had a terrible the hell of jail and child abuse. Cristina
car accident. I was sleeping in the back seat (Naomi Watts) comes from the hell of drug
when the car suddenly rolled over a deep addiction and Paul (Sean Penn) from the
cliff. I woke up in the midst of shattering hell of very bad health. When they think
Naomi Watts in 21 Grams windows and metal breaking. Since then I they have overcome their personal hells
have become obsessed with what happens and reached heavenJack through Jesus,
just before an accident. How were things Cristina through her family, Paul through
the way a film is seen. Light, in films, has a a minute before? Were people smiling or a new heartcircumstances send them to
great emotional power. I intended to create celebrating or angry? Did they have every- a deeper hell, an obscure abyss where there
an emotional path through light. In the first thing in their lives solved? Did they ask for seems to be no escape. They struggle, fight
35 pages, I tried to have predominately day forgiveness that day? That was my intention and suffer, but they end up finding hope.
scenes in order to communicate that there on the final montage: to put the immediate They discover that, beyond death and
was some light in the life of these characters. moment before the accident together with desolation, life has an enormous powera
Then, when the accident is revealed, I wrote the final consequences. And how, after all power that allows us to move on, to con-
mainly night scenes. I remember a biblical the pain the characters had endured, in the tinue living. The characters of 21 Grams
passage that says, and then the night came, end they find hope. have a final reconciliation with life, an

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acceptance of pain and fragility and a desire my life had I drank alcohol, tried drugs or
to move on. smoked. Never. But I am obsessive, and I
I truly believe 21 Grams is a film of hope know what it means to be a prisoner of
and a story of love. Love is what allows these something inside of me. I know about hav-
characters to find hope. It is Pauls sacrifice ing a terrible need for something. I have
of love that saves Jack and Cristina from also seen friends dive into self destruction
their pain, guilt and desire for revenge. It is through alcohol and drugs.
love that makes Cristina understand there is Jack was the character that fascinated me
a purpose in life; and through his love for his the most. He represents a world I hardly
family, Jack finds himself again. For me, love understand: fanatical religion. He is a man
and hope always go together. in utmost pain who throws himself into the
We are maybe the only species that builds first thing that really gives him hope: reli-
its identity through the ones around us. We gion. Hes so limited and so primitive that
are only through the others. When we lose our his religious experience is chaotic, confusing
loved ones, we lose our identity. The loss of and rigid. I had a friend, an atheist, who got
someone means undeniably the loss of a part married to a born-again Christian. His wife
of ourselves. Each relationship marks us in a was so religiously sick that she thought any- Screenwriter Guillermo Arriaga on the set of
definitive way. We can only rebuild ourselves one out of her sect was touched by the devil, 21 Grams
by relating again with others, loving again and so she restrained her husband and his con-
not forgetting our lost ones. For me, love and tact with the rest of the world. Of course, right, and I hated to accept it. My screenplay
hope are the themes in 21 Grams. I lost my friend, who became a disciplined owes a lot to him, and I thank him.
follower. A lot of this friends experience is
THE CHARACTERS in the character of Jack. THE FINAL GOAL
My screenwriting teachers always told I remember the exact day I thought of I wrote this article before the film was
me I had to know all about my characters, Jacks character. I was driving through the released. Im happy, nervous, excited and
to know even the brand of underwear they central Mexican desert. My wife and my very anxious. It is one thing to try to achieve
wear. I completely disagree. I like to know kids were sleeping, and it was raining on something and another to actually achieve
very little about my characters, almost noth- the horizon. Suddenly, we crossed beside an that something. All my work acquires its
ing. I want to allow them to come to life by abandoned car without doors and windows. meaning before an audience. It has nothing
their own means. I like being surprised by In that moment, the image of a car thief to do with concessions, but with the desire
them. And I hate research. I never do any came to my mind. I woke up my wife and to establish a dialogue with the person who
research. I like to imagine, to feel how the told her: My character is going to be a born- sits in the dark to see the film.
character would react being in his position. again Christian car thief, a man who will My strongest desire is that 21 Grams
I only investigate when the screenplay is have pain all over him and who tries to over- can deeply touch the people who see it.
finished, so I can polish the details. come it through Jesus. I named him Jack, the The process of writing for film only ends
I develop my characters through three English name for Santiago, my sons name. I when someone sees your work on a screen
main sources: observation, imagination and named his wife Marianne, the English name and then, that same night just before fall-
experience. I created Paul under my own for Mariana, my daughters name. ing asleep, he closes his eyes and thinks
experience: I had a viral infection in my about it.
pericardium, nothing serious, but at that COLLABORATION
time I was boxing and playing basketball This is my second collaboration with
daily, and the pericardium was so swollen Alejandro Gonzlez Irritu, director of GUILLERMO ARRIAGA is a screenwriter, a criti-
that it strangled my heart. The doctor pre- 21 Grams. The first one was Amores Perros, cally praised novelist, a television documentary
scribed bed rest for three months. He said also a film of love. You cannot imagine how director, a radio and television producer and,
that in some rare cases, the inner muscle proud I am to work with him: generous, for more than 20 years, a college professor. He
of the heart gets infected; and when that funny, intelligenta man of huge talent. first collaborated with writer-director-producer
happens, it is necessary to have a heart He puts everything he has in his heart into Alejandro Gonzlez Irritu as the screenwriter
transplant. So I started imagining the way a his directing. He is committed to his work of the award-winning Amores Perros. Arriaga
man should feel if he received someone elses with a passion rarely seen. He cares for has completed three novels (The Sweet Scent
heart. I thought that I would definitely look every detail in the film. When he arrives on of Death, Guillotine Squad and Buffalo of the
out for the family of the one who rescued the set, he has been working that scene for Night), a book of short stories (Retorno 201)
my life, as Paul does with Cristina. weeks. He doesnt leave anything to luck. and is finishing a fourth novel (Little Toads).
Cristina represents my deepest fear: to With Alejandro I had the most beauti- He is also working on four screenplays: one for
lose someone I love in a violent way. She ful arguments you can imagine. Im a very Tommy Lee Jones, titled Looking for Jimenez,
goes through an experience that I know stubborn guy. Hes twice that. But he never which the actor will direct; Dallas Buyers Club,
would devastate me. An unbearable one. imposes his point of view. He always tries to to be directed by Marc Forster; And Void, for Joe
Cristina was born the same day my daugh- convince. Sometimes I want to kill him. Not Carnahan to direct; and a fourth screenplay that
ter was born. Shes a drug addict. Never in because he was wrong, but because he was he himself hopes to direct in 2004.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 51

StayINg
by David H. Steinberg

2. BE EXCITED
I
ts well established that in this business no
one knows anything. The only problem When good things happen, it seems like
with that fact is that it makes it kind of youve put up with enough bad news to last a
difficult to actually learn important informa- lifetime, and this small measure of success is
tion. This is especially true in screenwriting well deserved and long overdue. Well, no one
where, unfortunately, there is little or no men- else sees it that way. No one cares about your
toring. The Writers Guild isnt much help. bad news; they only want to hear how happy
There are few, if any, screenwriting professors you are about the good news.
with current, high-level, real-world experi- So be excited when good news comes. Dont
ence. A-list writers simply dont write books dwell on what you didnt get or other deals that
on screenwriting. In short, once you become didnt happen. Focus on the good news. Theres
a professional screenwriterpresumably by Screenwriter David H. Steinberg nothing worse to an agent than calling a client
selling your first spec scriptyoure pretty after closing a big deal and the first thing the
much on your own. Either you figure it out also give the aspiring screenwriters out there a client says is, Dont you think we could have
... or you dont. realistic glimpse into their possible future. gotten more?
When I started, I certainly didnt figure it
out. I wish someone had pulled me aside back 1. BE POSITIVE 3. BE COLLABORATIVE
then and said, Psst. You want to keep work- Face it. Writers are negative people. Im Mr. Theres no I in movie. Well, there is
ing? Heres what you do. More importantly, Negative. Weve got a right to be. Were abused, one I but its for the director, not you. The
Heres what you dont do. This business is disrespected and ignored. (Book authors, sad but true fact of the movie business is that
filled with politics, egos and counter-intuitive heres a pitch for you: Tales from the Trenches: writers are expendable. Its simply a directors
(read: crazy) people. Navigating the minefield Screenwriters Tell Their War Stories.) So when medium. Everyone involved in the project
is tricky business, especially when you dont a producer gives you a bad note, he deserves feels as though the writer is replaceable, so you
have a compass. to know how bad it is, right? might as well make the best of the situation.
When a writer friend of mine sold his I certainly thought so. In my first notes Be collaborative. Take their notes. Try to work
first spec script recently, I made this list for meeting, I believe I uttered the words, Thats with the other creative people. Because you
him. The Ten Commandments, if you will, the dumbest thing Ive ever heard. Flash for- will get fired eventually, and the only thing
of maintaining a screenwriting career. (Or, ward six months, and there was the actor theyll remember is whether you were good
depending on how you look at it, the list of now doing the dumbest thing Id ever heard. to work with.
My 10 Biggest Mistakes.) But not from my script. My script became
Now this list isnt going to help you write someone elses script when it was rewritten by 4. TRY IT THEIR WAY
well. Or get an agent. Or sell a script. But if another writer. By all means, raise your objections. You
youve done all that, and youve entered the Listen to me. You can be negative and get know the script better than anyone else. But
world of professional screenwriting, this list your frustrations off your chest, or you can at the end of the day, youre talking to your
might help you stay here for a while. It will keep getting paid to write. Its your choice. boss. You can try it their way, or they can

52 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " q l c n _ l m  i h  q l c n c h a #

PHOTO: 2001 - Universal Studios - All Rights Reserved.

get someone else to try it their way. Its yyour choice.
Besides, if you try it their way, sometimes
somet it actually works. Now
youre a hero and a problem-solver. Good work.

5. BE EASY TO WORK WITH

WI
Rules one through five are the attitu
attitude rules. These are the rules
to live by in notes meetings, general memeetingshell, any meetings.
Rule five sums it up: Be easy to work w with. Because until you are so
A-list that youre irreplaceable, youre replaceable.
r When someone
asks you to do something with which yyou simply dont agree, you
should ask yourself, Am I being difficu
difficult? After the project is over,
other producers and studio executives w will call this person and ask,
Was he easy to work with? If the answ
answer is no, your career may be
over before it begins.
Remember high school cliques? Well,
Well Hollywood is no different.
The popular kids run the show, and so sometimes it seems like theyd
prefer to work with other popular kids over the smart kids. Talent The cast of American Pie 2, written by David H. Steinberg (story) and Adam
Herz (characters, story, screenplay)
does not therefore equal job security. In ffact, a marginally talented but
well-liked writer will probably have a lon
longer and more lucrative career
than a highly talented but difficult writer. So dont be that guy (or share in your success. The producer, the small agent, the manager,
girl). Be the one who works. whoever. If they helped you in your career, you owe it to them to
keep working with them. Dont trade up for the big agency when
6. BE LOYAL your small agent is doing a great job. Include the small producer in
Maybe a young, hungry producer worked with you through six your next spec or pitch. Remember, you already like these people.
drafts of your first spec. Now that it sold, youre ready to move on Taking a chance with the unknowneven if its a big fishis still
to the big time. Well, dont forget the little people. They might be a chance.
big people one day. More importantly, the little people deserve to Dont burn any bridges either. People move around a lot in this

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business. Dont tell off the irrelevant assistant developing the idea. Tell the studio how much
who keeps mispronouncing your name. He you like working with the producer. Sharing
may run the studio one day. credit is sometimes hard to do, but it pays back
big time in the end.
When I learned my screen- 7. TRUST PEOPLE As a side note, writers sometimes ask me
play won rst place in scr(i)pt Everyone is out to get you. Maybe so, but whether they should buy a present for their
magazines Open Door Contest its still better to be the nave, young writer reps after a sale. On the one hand, they
Pilar was the FIRST person I who opens himself up to being abused, than already are getting a present: 10 percent of
called. Why? Because without the old, bitter, cynical writer with whom no your money. But on the other hand, you
her help, her class and her one wants to work. Trust the producer when just made a ton of dough, why not share the
ideas, my writing would not he gives you notes, or your agent when it wealth? Heres what I think: First sale, buy that
be what it is today. Work with comes to marketing your script. Trust the gift. Maybe a bottle of wine or champagne. As
On The Page if you want to director to shoot a good movie and the studio your career progresses and deals become just a
learn how to stop thinking like a to market it. Like I said, you may get screwed regular part of doing business, you dont need
person who writes screenplays by each and every one of these people, but to reward people for doing their job. Except
-- and start thinking more like a its just better for your overall mental health seven-figure deals. Anything worth over a mil-
screenwriter. to be a trusting writer who sometimes gets lion dollars deserves a nice celebration. (You
screwed than a paranoid freak. can use your discretion to adjust the figure
- Scott Huebscher, My theory is that if your basic world view is down to the high-six figures range if youre
First Place Winner generally optimistic and trusting, you will be feeling generous.)
Open Door Screenwriting happier in the long run. Once in a while, people
Contest will let you down and youll feel stupid; but the 10. DONT SCREW OTHER
rest of the time, youll feel good. Youll be filled WRITERS
with hope. Thats better than going through life Its competitive enough without bad-
expecting the worst. Now I cant prove any of mouthing other writers or screwing them out
this, so youll just have to trust me. of a job. Youre going to be sent on a lot of
open writing assignments. By definition, the
8. LET PEOPLE DO THEIR JOBS studio thinks a script needs to be rewritten by
I know. Everyone is a moron. Your agent. The someone other than the original writer. That
producers. Especially the studio executive. doesnt mean it helps you to dump on the
The truth of the matter is, some people are writer or the script. Heres how we could do
morons. But most are not. Let them do their it differently. Trust me. They know you mean
jobs. Dont second guess every strategic deci- better. But you dont have to say it.
sion your agent or manager makes. You dont One day you may be rewriting one of my
have to be in on every phone call between the scripts. Ill be pretty upset if you dump on me
producer and the studio. You do your job, let after all this free advice Im giving you.
them do theirs.
This is especially true when it comes to your CONCLUSION
agent. You have to develop a relationship with Breaking into the screenwriting business is
your agent where you can rely on him to do difficult. But staying in the business is even
things without your checking in on him. I harder. When the writers natural inclinations
know, your deal/pitch/spec/assignment is very intersect with the abuses of politics, ego and
important to you. But, you have to internalize just plain insanity, the reactions are often inher-
Script Consultation & the fact that its important to your representa- ently self-destructive for the writer. So dont be
Screenwriting Classes
tive as well. You dont have to call him two days that guy. Be the other guy. The guy who works.
later and ask, Did you get a chance to call that Its your choice.
producer about that assignment yet? Either he
did or will soon do so, in which case he will soon
Pilar Alessandra start to hate you; or he did actually forget, in
Instructor / Consultant DAVID H. STEINBERG has co-written American
which case you should get a new agent. (Plus, by
the way, agents have strange rules about when Pie 2 and written Slackers and After School
(818)881-3193
www.onthepage.tv its okay to call people. Its always two days later
[email protected] than when you would have done it.) Special. In addition, he has written sitcom pilots

for Fox and UPN and has just sold a new pilot to
9. BE MAGNANIMOUS
Once in a great while, things actually go Paramount TV. He also writes an advice column
well. Dont hog the credit. Mention to the big
boss how helpful the junior executive was in for aspiring screenwriters at Scriptsales.com

54 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
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 A Slice of the New Americana
by Rich Whiteside

PHOTO: Prashant Gupta

PH

PHOTO: Prashant Gupta

In recent years, one-hour episodic TV writing has taken a decided turn toward the dark and complex. Neatly wrapped-
up middle-American morality tales have been edged out by hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners storytelling; and characters
once clearly good or evil are now complex and conflicted, embodying a little (if not a lot) of both characteristics. The
FX Networks series Nip/Tuck revolves around the lives and private practice of two plastic surgeons, and its as cutting
in its portrayal of the convoluted and dicey lives of the main characters as it is graphic in its depiction of surgery.

(Ed. Note: Between the time this interview was conducted and pub- scr(i)pt: Lets start with, why did you leave the and out of the
lished, the first full season of Nip/Tuck had been aired.) common phrase nip and tuck?
RYAN MURPHY: When I was first pitching it, people heard the

R
yan Murphy, Nip/Tucks creator and showrunning executive idea and [said], Oh, its a comedy because nip and tuck does have
producer, tackles storylines that seem to mirror and magnify this sort of comedic tone in our culturewith the ampersand, it
the complexity and challenges of modern life. The charac- sounds like a sitcom title, Hes Nipperson and hes Tuckerman.
ters struggle with who they are, just as America struggles with the They are Nip & Tuck. We came up with the idea of the slash-
same question. Today, the opportunity to pursue exactly what one scalpel in the marketing during the pitch. [With the slash] its just
desires, especially the prurient choices, challenges even the most more stringent and tougher, and Ive been very pleased and proud
dedicated moralist within us. On a certain level, Nip/Tuck exam- that Ive been reading it in media stuff. Its sort of caught on. I was
ines how one indulgent choice can become habitual and how over reading something the other day, I think it was in Time, where they
time selfish indulgences can alter a persons sense of self-worth, said, Blah, blah, blah was Nip/Tucked not nipped and tucked. Its
ultimately leaving him feeling haunted and hollow. This explora- cleaner. Theres something tougher about it.
tion of the human psyche is just one facet of Murphys complex
storytelling that makes his show so compelling to watch. As you scr(i)pt: What inspired the series?
will read, Nip/Tuck is the gritty storytelling opportunity Murphy RM: I was at a point in my career where I had gotten sort of
fought to have and that he fights mightily to service. typecast in weird ways as only doing what I call chick stuff. I did
Popular. Then I did a Delta Burke pilot that did not go. I finished

56 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 PHOTO: Prashant Gupta
PAGE 56: Julian McMahon as Christian Troy ABOVE: Robert A. LaSardo as Escobar Gallardo and Dylan Walsh as Sean McNamara in Nip/Tuck
and Dylan Walsh as Sean McNamara ABOVE:
Ryan Murphy, creator-executive producer of
Nip/Tuck

that and was working for The WB, which is FX dug that idea, and Kevin Reilly (presi- its a new way to do a medical show and
basically for kids, and I stood back and said, dent of entertainment at FX Networks) and b.) the people in it are so gripping. FX
What am I doing with my life? This is not Peter Liguori (president and CEO of FX has been great about letting me do a show
what I wanted. Networks) bought it in the room, which I about anti-heroes where everything is not
When I was a kid, the movies I liked think was in August. They gave the caveat, wrapped up in a happy bow and cue the
were not puff-fantasy things. They were We have a slot to [put] this in if you can pop music soundtrackall that shit I had
harder-edged: The Godfather, Rosemarys get the script in shape to shoot in January. endured for years. Creatively, it feels very
Baby, The Exorcist. I needed to do some- Then it has the potential to get picked up free and liberating.
thing that I loved. Those movies, the mov- and put on the schedule in July. I thought The show is emotionally shocking, and
ies that I see in real life, are the [kind of ] I would never make any of those deadlines, [the characters] do things that are unex-
TV shows that I watch. So I came up with but I did. They picked up the pilot two days pectedfor me, anyway. When Im writing
this idea that I had been kicking around after I turned it in. It literally was a dream them, I wonder, Where did that come
in my head since I was a journalist. I was come true. There was no stress. It was the from? What part of my id did that launch
fascinated with plastic surgery. I wasnt only pilot they were shooting, and they had from? Thats what Ive heard from people,
that fascinated with the surgery; I was fas- only one slotthey had dropped another and I think thats great.
cinated with the reasons why people hated show at that point. So it felt pretty good.
themselves because you dont get something scr(i)pt: How important is it to be shocking?
done unless you are filled with some degree scr(i)pt: Why did FX release the series four RM: I say we have our five moments per
of self-loathing. I thought that was a great to six weeks before the major networks released show of shock and awe, but those can be
jumping-off point. their fall line-up when the public is used to small, emotional, quiet moments where you
So, in pitching my agent, it became clear looking for new series? can be shocked because you didnt think
there were only two places to take this: FX RM: I think the networks point of view was that character had that capability and could
[Networks] or HBO. I chose FX because that television is no longer just a fall/winter be so emotional.
I felt they had just started to have some medium anymore. Its become much more We dont really set out to do a shocking
success. Its a male network, and this show 24/seven year-round programming. I think show. We just set out to do an intelligent
is about two men sort of having mid-life they thought they could get much more show, a show that is brave. Weve thrown
crises. It made sense. So I pitched them attention in the summer when there werent out an entire weeks work just because [I felt],
the concept, the characters, the milieu and as many things competing on a Tuesday night This is expected. I could see this on NBC.
examples of a couple patients I was inter- at 10 p.m. as there would be for a September This is not what I wanted to do. Because it
ested in following. I was very strong in that or October launch, and they proved to be is cable, because it is FX and because there is
room talking about the show as being about correct. They successfully launched The a certain amount of freedom, we want to live
self-hatred and how we as a culture have Shield in January, which is mid-season, an up to the freedom and not deliver something
started to put the emphasis on the external off time. I think they wanted to capture a lot that is pat and what network TV has become.
as opposed to the internal. I also hit that of peoples attention; and by the launch date, I think there are five or six shows on network
this show is about how people transform with the marketing, they did that. television that dont do that, and the rest do.
themselves, and there are no two people I think the reason the show caught on Im from that system, so I dont blame them.
transforming themselves more than our was because a.) theres never been a show Its just the way that it is: Youre selling prod-
leads on a show-by-show basis. about plastic surgery that has been a drama, ucts, moving baby formula and toilet paper.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 57

" n b _  m g [ f f  m ] l _ _ h #
scr(i)pt: How many episodes were ordered? a little out there, which I think helps [the about and things they dont like and things
RM: Its a typical cable order of 13 episodes, room] come up with stuff that you havent that we both agree are great. So we plot them
like The Sopranos or The Shield. seen beforewhich I think is what this show out in advance. I think you have to.
is doing. Greer is the one who pulls the room With a 22-episode season, if you did 10
scr(i)pt: Right now, the show feels very back and keeps it from flying off to Mars. We great ones in a year, you were in good shape.
serial in nature. It would seem that viewers have a very good collaboration in that way. Because we are doing only 13 instead of 22,
need to keep up with the ongoing characters Its very yin and yang, what we do. I feel we have an obligation to make sure
stories, which can be tough on someone tun- In talking to some of our staff, Ive found every one counts; there are no throw-aways.
ing in for the first time mid-season. Is there that there are other writers rooms that have The only way to do that is by structuring the
pressure from the network to make it more a hierarchy, and you speak [only] when spo- season and mapping it out.
episodic, so that people can tune in and not ken to and things like that. Here everybody Thats not to say that we have every [detail
have to know all the backstory? speaks freely. Even our writers assistant, planned out]. We are just now breaking the
RM: I think its episodic like The Sopranos Hank Chilton, comes up with stuff because last two episodes, and I have questions about
or Six Feet Under are episodic. Youre follow- I encourage everyone to be collaborative. stuff that I dont even know is going to be in
ing characters in their particular journeys. I After we break all the stories, we blend the finale. But I know what the overall ideas
think you can tune in every week [and fol- the beats. Then the story is assigned to one are, and I knew that going in.
low the story]. The plastic surgery patients of our writers. He goes off and does a very
are new every week so you will be able to specific, detailed outline that we work on scr(i)pt: What makes a good pitch? What
follow that. Actually, with our episodes we with himso there are no surprises. I feel makes for a bad pitch?
have long-lead projection time in terms of strongly that the best stuff comes only when RM: We dont take pitches from writers
our arcs. You can tune in and not really have you know where you are going. So we spend unless theyre on staff. I think that the most
seen a show and be able to follow what it is more time on the outlines than the actual important thing about a pitch is a beginning,
because every show has a very specific theme. scripts. I think that if the outline is good, the middle and end point of view. The bad thing
So every show is individual in that way. Its script almost writes itself. Then the writer to do in a pitch, for me, has always been to
not a soap opera. gets the outline approved and he goes off give me literally every beat of an idea. They
and does a first draft. We edit that. Then we walk here. Then they pick up this ... thats
scr(i)pt: How do you attack writing an do a second draft. Then usually, but not all what the outline is for. I like broad strokes.
episode? the time, depending upon how good those I like definite act endings. I like tone. What
RM: Basically, we have myself, Greer scripts are, I do a tone pass. is the tone? On Nip/Tuck, I have a rule that
Shephard (one of the other executive pro- I need five moments of shock and awe per
ducers) and our writing staff which consists scr(i)pt: What is a tone pass? script, at least. So, as we are going through
of five other people. My belief about a RM: I think [a tone pass is] very important the pitch phase and our staff comes up with
writers room on a drama is that if you are for a show, particularly a first-year show. stuff, they pitch me those five moments of
sitting in there for more than two hours, Thats when a showrunner takes a script shock and awe. That doesnt have to be the
its too long. People get bored and you lose that is completed and goes through it and surgeries or anything exploitative. Usually,
energy. So, I always try to come in with changes words and sentences so that the its an emotional moment thats unexpected.
a focus. Usually, in one-hour format you characters sound like characters youve heard It could be a very quiet moment. It could be
have three or four stories [per episode]. In before. Since the pilot, everybody has been something thats moving.
a week, well break a story a day and use the matching the tone of the pilot. So its really When I was a kid, I read this quote from
last day to blend the beats. about matching tone. Rosalind Russell who said, To me, if you
walk out of a movie and you remember five
scr(i)pt: Do you work from outlines? scr(i)pt: How long are your outlines? scenes, thats a great movie. That always
RM: We break the stories in the room; but RM: Seven to 10 pages, maybe 12 some- stuck with me, and I think its true about
before we craft the story, we focus on the times. But they usually have every beat: Julia film or TV. You dont remember the whole
theme. I think that asking, How can all the sits. Julia stands. Julia goes over. There will plot; but if you remember five visceral scenes
stories relate to a theme? has always worked be some dialogue. Things like that. or moments, thats whats important. That
well for methe theme being the link that thought that I read from some old interview
holds everything together. scr(i)pt: How do you keep the individual by Rex Reed has never left me.
We do a story a day; and as you can see, characters storylines going?
theres one on the board [behind us]. Thats RM: The only way to make that work, which scr(i)pt: How much technical advice do you
one day. Its eight beats. This is another story I think weve done very well, is to map out have?
we just started thats done. Its just not all the year. What is the last scene of the first RM: We have a medical advisor, Linda
up there. Its seven beats. Usually, in that year? We knew that before we wrote a word, Klein, whos great. She comes to me and says,
two-hour session we get into knock-down, and we worked back from there so we know I know thats great dramatically, but you
drag-outs. I work very well with Greer where we are headed. Then, with FX, we go cant have two patients in the operating room
Shephard. We worked together on Popular. in with four episodes and pitch the next four, at the same time. Shit. How do we make
Im sort of the one who pushes the room to and they have their input. They have the that work? I had a married couple come in
be extreme and maybe a little shocking and things they like and the things that we fight for his and her surgeries, and I wanted them

58 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " n b _  m g [ f f  m ] l _ _ h #
both to be in the room. Instead of going I read two scripts from every person we that, I think you can get into the groove;
on vacation, they were getting his and her were interviewing. Then I asked them very and [writers] can figure it out, but thats
plastic surgeries, which is very common. The specific questions in the room and got their challenging. It was challenging on Popular,
woman was getting a vaginal rejuvenation, take on the world we were portraying. That and its challenging on this, as well.
and the male was getting a scrotal lift; they to me was more important than their actual
were older, and I had them both in there at writing samples. scr(i)pt: I love the balance of the show, and
once because it was such a great image. in particular, the question about the marriage,
Linda said, No, they would not be scr(i)pt: What were the questions? whether they can save it.
in the same room, so I had to tear [the RM: Well, this show is about people having RM: Thats the whole yearcan this mar-
scene] apart and rewrite it. She does things mid-life crises, so my rule was that nobody riage be saved?
like that, and shes there with Dylan Walsh under 30 should apply because if youre under
(Sean McNamara) and Julian McMahon 30, what do you know about losing children scr(i)pt: What advice would you give to writ-
(Christian Troy) as they do all the surgeries. or going through a divorce or waking up and ers wanting to break into TV?
Shes very hands-on. finding your own face falling. You know those RM: What I look for when I hire people is
things. So I felt very strongly that we needed reading original material. I dont want to read
scr(i)pt: How did you resolve that note? to have people on staff who were going my twentieth Sopranos of the week. I hired
RM: I just didnt do it. I had to change the through those things and were age-appropri- someone on staff based upon a play that was
dialogue so that [the doctors] were going to ate. We have on staff two people in their 30s, never produced, but I thought it was very
do one surgery. Then you realize that when two people in their 40s, somebody in the 50s lyrical. I want to know that somebody has
they were done, theyd wheel in the next one. and somebody in the 60s. Its a staff thats the a voice because with voice comes a point of
reverse of what you find on most other shows view, and thats what makes good television.
scr(i)pt: How do you find the humor in a where people are hired for their youth and That would be my recommendation. Work
drama? There are a number of very humorous bright-eyedness. People on the Nip/Tuck staff on an original spec or an original piece.
moments in the episodes. are hired for their age and experience because
RM: Well, we never laugh at the patients; thats the point of the show. People dont go scr(i)pt: Do you mean like a pilot?
thats been a rule. Never make fun of them into a plastic surgery office usually until things RM: Yeah. You know, during staffing sea-
or their desires because I think thats cruel, being to fall, which happens in their 30s. I son, youre given piles of scripts. I think
and I really dont judge anybody who wants was more interested in that life-force that its good to have one maybe Sopranos or
these operations. I have empathy for the people could bring to the table. Six Feet Under or 24 in your cannon, but
reasons why they want them. So thats been I think the strongest thing you can do is
important. scr(i)pt: Jonathan Littman [scr(i)pt Vol. to have an original piece of work. A lot
What we do is that one of our great 9 No. 6] talked about balancing his shows of people are told not to do that by their
main characters is literally like Satan between the hip, slick visuals that attract the agents, and I think thats wrong.
himself. Hes a womanizer, he uses drugs, younger demographics and a depth of story that I asked for it, and I wouldnt hire anybody
he wears the best clothes money can buy, appeals to the older demographic. You have unless they had original material. The other
he has the hottest cars, the hottest apart- done that very nicely with your show. Is there thing that was important to me, and what
ments. So hes sort of wicked, and from his a point at which you can get too deep into the everybody that we hired did successfully, was
wickedness comes a lot of moments of fun drama which makes it becomes sappy? that they watched the pilot and they came
because hes written as having a dry sense RM: I dont think so because I think that into the room with very specific ideas, Okay,
of humor about it all. The other moments our country is geared to think of plastic I think it would be cool to explore this or I
of comedy come out of character. surgery as frivolous. Which is why, when like this character because of that. I asked,
One thing that I feel very strongly about, I originally said I wanted to do this show, Who is your favorite character and why?
concerning this show, is that it is relentless in people said, Oh, comedy. So I think to get What was your favorite scene and why? I
what its trying to do. Some people are really people beyond the frivolity of people paying think that even if youre not asked, volunteer-
disturbed by the show because I think it is to have themselves operated on needlessly, ing that information puts you over the edge
holding a mirror up to society, and because it you have to make it dramatic; or it just flies in some way because it makes you look as if
is by nature a very dark show. I think it needs off to the moon and you dont care. If its too youve shown up and done your workthat
moments of levity so that you dont feel as if light, you dont care; but I think you need you have a way into the show. That was
you are suffocating in misery. That and half the light so people dont think its too relent- important to me, too.
of our staff has worked on dramas and half less. Its a tough road to [walk].
on sitcoms. So we have both worlds here.
scr(i)pt: Thats your responsibility as the Author of The Screenwriting Life, RICH
WHITESIDE was the editor-publisher of the
scr(i)pt: How has that worked out since sit- showrunner, to maintain that balance.
UCLA Writers Block newsletter for six years and
com and drama writing is so different? RM: I think my job, more than anything, a technical writer on government projects. A
RM: Well, everybody who was hired had has been to protect the tone of the show. graduate of the Naval Academy and a former
written at least one one-hour drama spec. So The tone of the show is something that Navy SEAL, Rich currently works at Paramount
I knew that they could do the form. Some only the showrunner knows. Thats been Pictures in network television business affairs as
of them had never been on a one-hour staff. tough, particularly in the first year. After he pursues a career in screenwriting.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 59

8,-2+7
8,)=;328
8)00=39
-2*-017',330
F]7XEXSR6EFMR
hen I give talks at colleges about my

; film project in development, I show

the audience a sepia photograph of
me in a l9th-century hoop skirt. My
movie has been in development so long,
I tell them, that this is what I looked like
when it all started. That always gets a can have as a screenwriter is an unerr- is great or not? You certainly wont be able to
laugh. Well, usually. The writers who have ing ability to judge the quality of your tell from Hollywood rejection letters, which
been knocking their heads against a wall own work. Sometimes writers think that tend to be positive no matter how much
trying to get a break in the film business their script or book is great, and folks in they hated your script. As a wag once said,
for a while know that Im not kidding. Hollywood are too dimwitted or lacking in Hollywood is the only place in the world

PHOTOS: Jim Sheldon

Actually, that photo really was mewhen vision to see it. Sorry, but that scenario hap- where you can die of encouragement.
I was about 20, living and writing in San pens about as often as the perfect alignment Generally speaking, if a producer doesnt
Francisco, I posed for one of those novelty of Mars, Venus and the Eiffel Tower. Still, it offer you money for your script or ask to
photos down at Fishermans Wharf. My film does happen; and if you can pinpoint a sen- meet with you, he didnt really like your
project (a novel I wrote based upon my own sible and specific reason why people are turn- scriptno matter what his letter said. But
film treatment) has been optioned at least ing your script downthat has nothing to if he asks to see more of your work, you
11 times since thenby the same produc- do with the quality of your materialthen should certainly send it when you have
erswith Dustin Hoffman, then Anthony you should persist in submitting it until, as something ready to show.
Hopkins and finally Al Pacino attached to they say in the South, the last dog dies. A qualified, independent script analyst
star as Napoleon Bonaparte. The movie still Its my belief that great screenplays or can certainly tell you if your screenplay or
isnt madethough things are looking very books are never overlooked. If your work is book has merit, though not all of them will
hopeful at the moment. (Of course, thats great, sooner or later somebody in a position vote yea or nay on it, nor is that the most
what Ive said for the past century or two.) of power in Hollywood will recognize that important thing a script analyst can do for
So seven stories in the trades later, what fact. Nothing thats happened in my long you. After all, unless he is working for a
can I tell you about the film business? What career of many failures and occasional suc- specific producer who has given him specific
have I learned about Hollywood that they cesses has caused me to revise that opinion. instructions about what to say yes to, his
didnt tell me in film school? However, the flip side of this fact is also ultimate decision to pass or recommend
true: If your script or book is no good, you on your script is not necessarily going to tell
o (AND
KNOW WHEN TO QUIT
WHEN NOT TO)
should rewrite it or retire it to a condo in
Florida and write something else.
you much about how it will be received by
any particular movie company. Whats really
One of the most useful skills you So how do you know whether your work important and valuable is what he says about

60 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " ^ _ p _ f i j g _ h n #
your script in his commentswhether he rejected a lot? Not at all. Quite the opposite; personalized letter with a great one-to-
thinks it still needs work or is ready to show after three rejections on the same script, you three-sentence story pitch in it. Yes, its true
to the film industry. need to figure out exactly why your material that these days some of the better-known
That said, theres no substitute for your is getting a pass and do an honest self- producers wont read unsolicited letters, let
having an inherent ability to know when assessment of whether your critics are right. alone submissions from writers they dont
youve written something great. Of course, If youre like me and have good self-critical know. But many of them will.
most writers Ive met think that what theyve instincts, and readers of your work mention Recently, I called a major Los Angeles pro-
written is the next big thing. Keep in mind something that you secretly already suspected duction company, which informed me that I
that most of them havent read as many was wrong with your book or script, you can could not send them a query letter about my
scripts as I have, so they have no sense of be sure theyre right. But, if you think your book and that I should have my agent phone
what great really means. If you could read work is getting rejected for some reason them instead. I thanked them for their sug-
the 1,000 or more scripts Ive read for film other than its quality (your agent isnt asser- gestion and then hung up. I happened to
studios, independent screenwriters and scr(i)pt tive enough, youre sending it to the wrong know that this company has its home office
magazines contests and Script Services, and producers, the timing is wrong for this in a foreign country. So I wrote a query let-
still walk away thinking your work is great kind of story, your work is progressive and ter (which not only contained my standard
by comparison, then I congratulate you: You not everyone can relate, etc.), you should pitch but mentioned which films of theirs
must really know what youre doing. If thats persist in submitting itjust not to the same Id especially liked), and faxed it directly
the case, you should never give up. Sooner person or company more than once. to the president of their company overseas.
or later, you will find a Hollywood execu- You should always have your script pend- About three days later, I got a note from
tive who shares your enthusiasm for your ing at many producers simultaneously so the head of their literary department saying
story. But if your script isnt really great, start you have many irons in the fire, partly to theyd be delighted to read my novel. They
another one, or find another profession. improve the odds of selling your work and even apologized to me for the fact that the
partly so you wont have all your hopes rid- president himself was away on location and
UP,
PICK YOURSELF
DUST YOURSELF
ing on one submission.
Truly, rejections shouldnt bother you at
couldnt reply personally!

OFF, START ALL

OVER AGAIN
all. Well, you hereby have my permission
to grieve for five minutes after receiving
REALLY
SOMETIMES, NO
DOES MEAN NO
Fred Astaire sang those words (by Dorothy a rejection. But after five minutes have If someone reads your screenplay or book
Fields with composer Jerome Kern), in the elapsed, you must sober up and dry your and gives it a passthis is a case where no
great Astaire-Rogers movie, Swing Time. Old tears, decide to rewrite or retire your script, means no. They are not simply giving you
Fred knew what he was talking about. When send it to a script analyst or submit more their policy to keep out the riffraff. They
I give lectures to screenwriters, they often query letters to other film producers. In read your work and didnt like it, or at least
tell me that they got one rejection on their the words of the sage of Hollywood, Tom not enough to buy it. This means theres no
script and feel like jumping off the Brooklyn Hanks: Theres no crying in baseball. point in resubmitting the script unless they
Bridge. Some of them probably dowhich ask you toprobably not even if youve
I keep telling myself must explain why one
or two of my students never show up again
ALWAYS
NO DOESNT
MEAN NO
rewritten it in the interim, and certainly
dont try slipping it by them under another
after the first day of class. Youve probably heard this before: We title. They keep careful computer records of
Its taken me a while to figure it out, but dont take unsolicited submissions. When all their past coverage, and, besides, story
one reason Ive had more success at writing you hear that, you probably think, Rats! analysts never forget a scriptnot even the
than many of my students is that rejections On to the next. I hear that and think, bad onesespecially not the bad ones.
dont bother me as much as they seem to Hooray! This means they accept solicited
bother most of them. Even very successful
writers probably get three or four rejec-
submissions.
When companies say they dont accept
'*CHICKEN
CAN THE RUBBER

tions for every five things they submit to unsolicited submissions, this is good news. If youre having trouble breaking into
publishers or producers, and I would guess It means they are probably selective and Hollywood as a screenwriter, should you
that the proportions are even worse than successful enough for you to aspire to work dress up like a rubber chicken and knock
that. Ive sold perhaps 85 or 90 articles and with them. They are trying to keep out the on a film companys door handing them
short stories, four books to major publishers riffraff. Are you the riffraff? Not if you have your script rolled up inside a giant plastic
(including two novels), and that does not a great script. I can guarantee you that if you egg? Should you hire a plane to skywrite
include my film work. But my rejection have a great script, theres not a company in over Glendale, Please read my script, Mr.
slips could circle the world more times than Hollywood that wont want to see it. But Spielberg! Phone (212) 555-7697?
John Glenn has. One book of mine was you wont convince them your script is great While I confess I did things almost that
turned down 55 times before selling to a by telling them it isyou have to find a way extreme when I was starting out, as anyone
major publisher once I had the right agent to make them curious enough to read it. can tell you I am no longer 20 years old
representing it. How do I do this? Well, if I dont have an and only 20-year-olds can get away with
Does this mean you should take it as a agent or lawyer who can submit my work acting like ... well, 20-year-olds. If you
sign of encouragement if your work gets for me, I write a query lettera top-notch, want to be treated like the professional

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 61

" ^ _ p _ f i j g _ h n #
you are or aspire to be, you should act like As for where to get their personal addresses, of interest for you to be scouting among
one. Be dignified. Act as if youre already this is easy enough to find. But you wont that producers projects for material you
a successful writer. If you act like a rubber get any help from me. We live in danger- might like to adapt for the screen yourself.
chicken, you will lay an egg. ous times, and stars are, understandably, Asking your boss to help you in your writ-
I know some screenwriters who use worried about stalkers and the like. Treat ing careerwell, that can be sticky. He
publicity stunts because they feel so des- them with respect; dont do more than send wants you to be doing your job, not look-
perate to get attention for their work. I a letter (no gifts nor autograph requests), ing for a way to earn a million dollars on
can understand their occasional feelings of dont sound like a gushing fan and dont your first spec script so you can say, Hasta
desperation, but theres no easy way out of show up on their doorsteps or follow them. la vista, baby!
this problem. If you have a great script, keep Simply mail them a letter or get it to them Its perfectly okay to use your work as a
sending out query letters (and refine your at some public appearance venue through script analyst as part of your credentials in
letter until its perfect). This is the only sane someone they know. I have been writing to a query letter in hopes of persuading other
way to get your work read and keep your stars since I was a kid, so I have personal companies to take a look at your screenplay
dignity and reputation intact. replies from Jimmy Stewart, Gene Kelly, as long as youre clear about the fact that this
That said, there is nothing wrong with tak- director Frank Capra and many others. submission has nothing to do with your boss
ing a dignified, unconventional route to get- The key is, be sincere and respectful, use a or his company. If you get a big break as a
ting your letter (and, ultimately, your script) little emotional intelligence and dont come screenwriter elsewhere, Im sure your boss
to the right people in Hollywood. In fact, I off like a crazy fan or stalker. will be happy for you. At least you hope so!
strongly recommend this tactic. Getting your
script directly to a starby sending him a
query letter, not a screenplay, unless you get
'- BEING A STORY
ANALYST ISNT A WAY
TheKEEP YOUR DAY JOB
other day, I saw a cute six-year-old
his permission to send the scriptis perfectly INTO THE BUSINESS boy outside on my suburban street hawking
acceptable and, these days, sometimes neces- With a few notable exceptions, work- lemonade from a stand. A man shouted at
sary to help you get your film set up. ing for a film producer as a story analyst him from a passing car, Why dont you get
There are many ways to get a letter to a will help teach you what makes a script a real job?! A little harsh, I thought. But
movie star. With a little ingenuity, access to good, bad or great; but it isnt a way to if this kid decides to be a screenwriter, he
the Internet and reading your local newspa- get your own writing career on trackat should definitely keep his job selling lemon-
pers, this feat shouldnt be difficult. Most least not with the producer for whom ade until he hits it big. With any luck, hell
stars also have film production companies. you are working. Its an inherent conflict be 42 by the time he makes it.

62 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " ^ _ p _ f i j g _ h n #
YoudBEbePOLITE
amazed how often perfect
each year long before they are available
to the public, and sometimes even before
strangers approach me by Instant Message theyve been accepted for publication. So if
on the Internet and say, Yo! Read my you write a hot book, you can be sure it
script, man, its great! First of all, Im not will be considered by the powers-that-be in
man. Second of all, I dont turn around the film businesswithout your even hav-
when people shout Yo! at me. My guess ing to do anything to make this happen.
is that his script is probably not great. Its a Perhaps surprisingly, Hollywood
funny thing, but there seems to be a direct people have enormous respect for pub-
correlation between politeness and writing lished books. Getting your manuscript
ability. Not everyone who is polite can write publishedwhich is like the Good
well; but, although Ive heard about some Housekeeping Seal of Approvalwill earn
notable exceptions, Ive never met a good your story instant respect in the film indus-
writer who didnt also have enough sense to try (though not necessarily a sale). Nobody
be polite when he writes a letter or meets in Hollywood likes to be the first to stick
someone new in the film business. Maybe his neck out and buy a story. If someone
this is because it takes a certain amount else in a position of judgment and power
of emotional intelligence to write a great (such as a major book publisher) likes it
scriptor to get along with other people and has already invested money in it in any
and treat them with respect. form, Hollywood is more likely to sit up
So, be polite to producers, agents and all and take notice.
assistants (read: future producers and agents)
you meet along the way. If you do this, you
will please most people, astonish the rest and
I gotDONT LISTEN TO ME
where I am (wherever that is) in
help set yourself apart from the crowd. the film business by not listening to any-
one elseor, rather, by listening to my
If you
WRITE A BOOK
want to be a screenwriter, a good
talented teachers at New York Universitys
film school, combining what I learned from
way into the business is to write a book and them and from other great writers with my
then try to sell the film rights to it. First of own instincts and doing what I felt would
all, I happen to think writing books is a lot work. Good writing and good salesmanship
easier than writing screenplaysat least it of that writing involve a combination of fol-
is for me, and I teach writers how to do lowing the tried and true, learning from
both. I know for sure that getting a book the experts, reading great scriptsand then
published is a lot easier than selling a script, doing exactly what your own instincts tell
partly because there are so many more you to do. So this means you should listen
books published each year than there are to what I tell you, but then do whatever you
screenplays bought or made. think is right for you.
I got the film rights to my young-adult In fact, its really your instincts that will
novel optioned long before my agent sold make you unique and worthy of notice
the book publishing rights. If I chose to as a writer in the film business, whether
write the screenplay for it, I could have sold that uniqueness is in your work, in your
the book publishing rights, the film rights approach to selling it or both. All good
to the novel and perhaps sold the script writers are a combination of rebels and
or been hired to rewrite it. Thats making followers. Heres hoping you can find a
money three ways. combination that works for you.
Also, as you probably know, its not
easy to get people to read ones script in
Hollywood. But if you write a book that STATON RABIN is a screenwriter and veteran script
gets published, itll probably be announced analyst for screenwriters, major agencies, film stu-
in Publishers Lunch, the e-letter to which dios and scr(i)pt magazine. Her novel Betsy And The
many of the film industrys book scouts sub- Emperor is in development as a film with Al Pacino
scribe. Then producers will be calling you, attached to star. Ms. Rabin teaches screenwriting
asking to read your book. If you also have a at Hudson Valley Writers Center in Sleepy Hollow,
screenplay based upon it ready to show, so NY, is a frequent guest speaker at Mark DeGasperis
much the better. NYU classes for screenwriters and has just finished
Film studios readers cover most of the writing a new book: Dont Write What You Know
high-profile books accepted for publication (And Other Radical Lessons for Screenwriters).

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 63

 " n b _  b c f f  q c n b  c n #
by John Hill

WHAT SHOULD YOU WRITE? TAKE THIS

SIMPLE TEST
Screenwriting is the only way you
can tell your stories, right? Not so
fast there, Sparky.

W
hat should you be writing?
Screenplays? Novels? Plays? TV?
(Operas? Rodeos?)
Your first thought may be that you should
write for the medium you love. Since this is
a screenwriting magazine, and not The Calf
Roper Register, youve probably decided to
tell your stories in screenplay form.
After all, you love movies. You bought Novice screenwriters sometimes forget d. Beat me, whip me, make me write
that screenwriting format program you that plays and novels even exist. (I dont bad checks.
can almost figure out. You did pay that mean as a means to a cinematic endI
screenwriting guru in Laramie, Wyoming mean as art forms and mediums for great 2. Having CREATIVE CONTROL of my
for her subjective notes and still-pending, storytelling that obviously stand proudly stories as a writer is:
high-level Hollywood access. on their own, whether or not Hollywood a. a top priority; I want 100 percent con-
But ... what if theres a genuine discon- buys the movie rights. Besides, when it trol of the final version.
nect between the medium you feel a passion comes to movie rights, many are called; b. quite important, but I can live with a
for and what may actually make more sense few are filmed.) slight trade-off of how the final product
for your personality, writing preferences or To help you reevaluate for which medi- looks in order to make it all happen.
even geography? um you should consider writing, or which c. a consideration sure, I want creative
I continually notice among newer writers of your stories might be more appropriate control, but I accept that to make things
that they lock in on one medium, such as for different mediums, take this simple, happen, I really wont have any creative
screenwriting. But as I get to know them sneaky, transparent test. Youll quickly fig- control ... at all.
and their writing and mention maybe they ure out the pattern, but answer each ques- d. Control? Control? Im wearing an adult
should consider a different medium, like tion honestly anywayit may offer some diaper now.
novels, they look at me as if Ive just beaten general insights into you, your writing and
their mother senseless with a large flounder. your most ideal medium. 3. On CHARACTER versus PLOT, which
Their reaction is probably due to First, go out to your car, open the trunk, one do enjoy writing more?
either a classic, narrow-minded case of get out a tire iron or crowbar and pry open a. both characters and plot equally.
screenwriting-itus or the usual writer inse- your mind. Next, take this simple test. b. charactersin fact, I love writing
curities and self-limiting perceptions. Choose ONE answer that applies to you. small, quality people stories, for exam-
To be fair, if youre totally into filmfan- ple the human dynamics within a room,
tasize about directing, love the idea of being 1. Having RESPECT within the particular by a couple, family or a small group.
around moviemakinga screenplay would industry I write for is: c. plotswhile characters are always
seem like the only choice of what to write, a. important to me. important, I LOVE big plot ideas with lots
since it could be your ticket to the big time. b. EXTREMELY important to me. of scope, size and/or wild imagination.
But what if at your core, youre primarily c. minimally important because I can live d. I dont like having any characters in
a storyteller? Should you consider different with only pseudo-respect from those Id my stories. They just run around and say
mediums for your stories? work with if I can sell my stories. a lot of stuff.

64 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 "nb_bcffqcnbcn#
4. Writing for them versus writing for the story exists to dramatize my theme.
youor, how COMMERCIALLY do c. I dont worry much about themes, just
I try to write for the marketplace? character and plot.
a. I write what I care about, but I also d. My favorite theme is: The weather
accept the business realities and that there started getting rough. The tiny ship was
is a marketplace that I must please. tossed. If not for the courage of the fear-
b. I dont think about what is commer- less crew, the Minnow would be lost.
cial, whatever that might mean. Instead,
I just write what I care about writing. 8. DESCRIPTIVE writing. Adjectives and
c. commerciality is a BIG part of what I adverbs. Metaphors and analogies. Simile
factor in as a writer so I can get my stories and the world similes with you. How
sold and make things happen. important is descriptive writing to me?
d. The only audience I imagine writ- a. VERY important. I love writing
ing for is my crazy, old aunt who wears descriptions that involve the five senses,
swim fins and eats pears through a descriptions about characters, clothing,
catchers mask. landscapes, the weather, everything. Why
be a writer if you cant try to find a fresh
5. Concerning PAGE COUNT and way to describe a sunset or the sound of a
WRITING TIME, my preference is: distant fog horn?
a. a project taking a year and being 300 b. I use a few details (clothing, objects)
to 400 pages long. but character conflict through dialogue is
b. six to eight months to write, 70 to 90 MUCH more important.
pages long. c. Descriptive writing isnt important
c. four to six months to write, with lots of to me. I focus on showing characters in
white space on each of the 115 pages. active conflict that are always advancing
d. I write sprawling epics that span con- the story.
tinents and generations and end up as d. It was a dark and stormy night; and
much as 250 to 300 words long. David Storm had eyes the color of a
storm-tossed sea and a proud chin carved
6. On the use of DIALOGUE in my stories, by the stormy winds of adversity.
my preference is:
a. dialogue and internal monologue but 9. Story STRUCTURE and careful pac-
also LOTS of narration/description, ing is:
too. To me, dialogue speeds things up, a. not very important.
energizing a story; plus it vividly brings b. very important.
characters sharply into focus. c. EXTREMELY important to me when I
b. I LOVE writing dialogue, including write, and Im willing to stay within some
the occasional monologue. The more pretty strict guidelines.
dialogue the better! d. I use an unusual 19-act story structure
c. Im very good at dialogue; but since it originally found in Portuguese sea ballads.
can slow down a story, I know to create
other ways to convey information instead. 10. GENRE writing. My attitude about
I also know to write dialogue that is very having to stay within the boundaries of
short but says a lot. certain genres when I write and meet that
d. I write dialogue that rambles endlessly genres expectations is:
without making any coherent point. My a. mostly okay with me and Im usually
dialogue is so bad it needs subtitles in the comfortable with it.
same language. b. not my way to write at all; I create a
story and I dont want to try to fit it into
7. THEME, which I define as: the writers some box or type.
moral of the story, message and/or the c. very okay with me. I see it as a realistic
universal life lesson the main character part of my writers job.
learns (i.e., the heros character arc). How d. I write in the comedy-vampire-
important to me is a storys theme? romance-Western-legal-thriller genre.
a. fairly important, in a close third place
right after character and plot. 11. WHERE YOU LIVE as a factor in
b. VERY important to me. I love explor- which medium you choose.
ing or presenting a theme, and sometimes a. Im not moving so geography doesnt

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 65

" n b _  b c f f  q c n b  c n #
matter to my writing. start to finish.
b. I live in a big city, near lots of theatre. b. I need to create it alone, but then I
c. I live in Los Angeles. can accept minor respectful suggestions
d. I write just fine in my Maytag card- and creative interpretations from others
board box, but its starting to rain and the in a limited amount.
tops getting soggy. c. If it helps make it all happen, I can
live with a committee adding so much
12. Do you prefer writing your MAJOR input and interpretations to my work
character(s) or writing about a lot of your that it hardly feels like its mine any-
MINOR ones? more.
a. I like to write about one or two main d. I dont handle criticism well. Just ask
characters; but I like writing about many my crit group Im presently holding hos-
different minor characters, too. tage as S.W.A.T. surrounds the house.
b. I like writing about lots of different
characters, giving them almost equal 16. My preferred TARGET AUDIENCE
weight throughout the story. for what I write:
c. I like writing stories where one or a. could include both genders, any age.
two main characters are just about b. both genders, usually older than 30.
the whole show and drive the storys c. mostly males, usually under 30.
action. I give them the best things to d. I write for pre-op transsexuals who
say and do. order from the senior menu at Dennys.
d. I like it when the main character
never says or does anything, and the 17. How NORMAL versus unconventional
minor characters burst into song a lot. do you like your CHARACTERS to be?
a. I write regular, three-dimensional char-
13. Do you prefer writing in a acters, like in real life.
CONTEMPORARY or HISTORICAL b. I prefer to write dramatic, often over-
time-frame? In an AMERICAN or the-top, theatrical characters.
INTERNATIONAL setting? c. I enjoy writing bigger-than-life char-
a. I need the freedom of being able to acters, IMAGINATIVE onesthey
write stories set in any century, set in dont even have to be human! Angels,
any land. vampires, aliens, anything!
b. I prefer contemporary American set- d. I just want to write characters who
tings but might want the freedom to would happily eat a census taker with
write about other times and places. fava beans and a nice Chianti. (Slurp,
c. If I have to almost always just write slurp, slurp!)
contemporary American-based stories, I
can live with that just fine. 18. How much is proper FORMATTING
d. I write medieval stories set north of the a problem?
Arctic circle. a. I dont want to have to worry about
formatting. I just want to write the way I
14. You know the best things in life are free, have all of my life.
but you can give em to the birds and bees. b. I can handle some unusual formatting
I want money. Thats what I want. adjustments.
a. I accept that Ill probably have to c. I accept that I have to get used to a
always work for a living while I try to VERY different formatting style.
fulfill a lifetime of writing stories. d. I want to write my stories without any
b. Im aware I could make some real vowels. Vowels are a crutch and good
money from my writing. writers dont need them.
c. I want to make lots of money, as well
as getting my stories told. TALLY UP
d. Im an artist so I donate all my writing Okay, thats the end of this simple,
income to the Tomb of the Unknown sneaky, transparent test. Heres how to
Screenwriter. score it so it might help you with your
career choices. Count how many times you
15. How do you feel about CREATIVE chose a answers, then how many times for
INPUT, feedback and notes from others? b and c.
a. I need to write alone, all the way, from Do that now.

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 "nb_bcffqcnbcn#
NOVELS themes through characters and dialogue. mind a little more to the other ways you can
Okay, which one did you choose the Their written work is then respectfully write your stories.
most? If you have mostly a answers, you reinterpreted on a stage by a director, cast Oh, and if you chose mostly the d
might have the temperament/aptitude/ and crew. answers, this aptitude test indicates you
mind-set/writing style/comfort zone for should write scripts for World Wide
writingsurprise!novels. SCREENWRITING Wrestling, or continue your glamorous
The nature of long-form prose involves If you chose more c answers, youre career in the food service industry.
stories of length and depth, often inter- reading the right kind of magazine, which
weaving characters and plot equally, focus- is good, because youve already paid for it.
ing on details and description. Novelists The nature of the big movie screen calls JOHN HILL began writing as a professional
are unique in that they can take us inside a for bigger-than-life characters with big
screenwriter over 25 years ago. His cred-
characters mind and we can see the world challenges. Screenwriting involves dialogue
through their point of view. Novelists and thinking cinematicallystorytelling its include Griffin and Phoenix (1976) and
retain creative control, work in solitude through visual images. Screenwriters are Heartbeeps (1981). He was also a co-writer on
and are respected. Their finished work usually rewritten by other screenwriters.
remains exactly as they wrote it. Then their work is reinterpreted when Little Nikita (1989) and Quigley Down Under
it is filmed by cast, crew, director, etc. (1990) with Tom Selleck. He has worked on staff
PLAYWRITING Screenwriters are treated the worst and
as a writer-producer for Quantum Leap and L.A.
If you had mostly b answers, consider have the hardest time getting their work
something you may not have ever consid- to reach fruition. They also have the most Law. He won an Emmy for his work on L.A.
ered: being a playwright. glamour, can be the most envied and make Law. From 1989 through 1996, he sold three
The nature of theatre is that youre the most money.
experiencing live action at a human scale spec feature scripts in three different genres.
in real time, without a narrator. So a I hope this test and this oversimplified One-on-one mentoring in screenwriting is avail-
playwright creates stories through small, overview will help you find the medium
intense dramatic scenes between a few that best suits your writing personality, style able. He may be reached at: 702.433.6772 or
characters. Playwrights can thus explore and goals. Or maybe it will just open your [email protected]

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 67

" ] l [ ` n #

WRITING BETWEEN THE LINES

DIALOGUE AND SUBTEXT
WRITING BETWEEN THE LINES
Good dialogue is about more than what the characters say. Its also about BY ROBIN RUSSIN
what they dont sayand what the writer is saying. Follow me as we look
at how subtext works to enrich your dialogue.

O
ne of the more brilliant moments difference between what a character is say-
in Woody Allens Annie Hall is the ing (or hearing) and what he is thinking.
balcony conversation between Alvy In a delightfully silly way, he is giving us a
(Woody Allen) and Annie (Diane Keaton): lesson in subtext.
Subtext in dialogue is everything your
ALVY characters arent saying while theyre talking.
(pointing toward the apart- To be more precise, its the layers of impli-
ment after a short pause)
So, did you shoot the pho- cation conveyed by dialogue that are not
tographs in there or what? the literal meaning of the words. Subtext is
also what separates ordinary dialogue from
ANNIE memorable, wonderful dialogue. When
(nodding, her hand
on her hip) characters say exactly what they mean and Woody Allen and Shelley Duvall in Annie Hall,
Yeah, yeah, I sorta dabble those who hear them understand with lit- screenplay by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman
around, you know. eral clarity, the dialogue and the characters
Annies thoughts pop on the screen are likely to feel stiff and two-dimensional.
as she talks: I dabble? People, and good characters, are more com- doesnt mean that to be taken literally. The
plex than that. They often mean more, or sarcastic subtext is what we (and she) are
ALVY less, than what they are saying; and they meant to understand: Youre a loathsome
Theyre ... theyre ... often hear what they want to hear, not what lush. (Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf is a
theyre wonderful, you know.
They have ... they have, uh was actually said, and react accordingly. textbook for this kind of repartee.) A lounge
... a ... a quality. Whats more, screen dialogue also conveys lizard trying to score with a hot woman isnt
what writers want to say to the audience likely to start out with Hey, wanna screw?
As do Alvys: You are a great-look- through the vessel of their characters. even though thats what Havent we met
ing girl.
As with all aspects of screenwriting, dia- somewhere before? actually means.
ANNIE logue is an art of compression and making In 1934, the Hays Codea reaction to
Well, I-I-I would-I would every word count. The more you can mean the racy films of the preceding decade
like to take a serious pho- with each line, the more freight each state- prohibited screenwriters from being too
tography course soon.
ment carries, the more compelling and explicitly sexual. But films continued to
Again, Annies thoughts pop on: He essential your dialogue will be. There are depend upon the interaction of the sexes;
probably thinks Im a yo-yo. several kinds of subtext, often overlapping, and, as the old clich goes, necessity was
but distinct nonetheless. Lets take a look at the mother of invention. Writers became
ALVY some examples and some strategies to make masters at impregnating their dialogue with
Photographys interesting,
cause, you know, its-its your dialogue sing. implied meanings and delicious metaphors,
a new art form, and a, uh, which have stood the test of time and
a set of aesthetic criteria DOUBLE-ENTENDRES AND remain some of the most memorable screen
have not emerged yet.
MEANING MORE THAN moments we have. A perfect example is the
And Alvys: I wonder what she looks YOU SAY scene in To Have and Have Not (adapted
like naked? If a man turns to his drunken wife and by Jules Furthman and William Faulkner)
And so on. What Woody Allen is doing, says, Youre a priceless piece of work, you where Lauren Bacall (Marie) steams up the
of course, is showing us the often hilarious know that? A real beauty, he probably screen with Humphrey Bogart:

68 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " ] l [ ` n #
MARIE
Okay. You know you dont
dialogue. Without being able to say things in
have to act with me. You any way they chose, screenwriters had to dig
dont have to say anything, deeper and struck gold. Theres a lesson in
and you dont have to do this for modern screenwriters: The fact that
anything. Not a thing. Oh, you now have the liberty to make your char-
maybe just whistle. You
know how to whistle, dont
acters say anything you want doesnt mean
ya Steve? You just put your thats always the best approach. Just as a per-
lips together and blow. son is often sexier wearing a concealing gar-
ment than being completely naked, dialogue
The sexual invitation couldnt be clearer, can be richer if you conceal the obvious in a
but thats about all there is in this case. garment of metaphor or misdirection.
A lot more is going on in another scene Of course there are many great examples
with Bogart, from Casablanca (by Julius & of post-code dialogue containing intentional
Philip Epstein and Howard Koch), where subtext, where the characters are aware of
Rick lets Victor Laszlo know the lengths the secondary meanings in what theyre say-
to which Victors wife (and Ricks former ing. Perhaps the most famous is from The
lover) Ilsa has gone to get the letters of Godfather (written by Francis Ford Coppola
transit for him: and Mario Puzo): Make him an offer he
RICK cant refuse. We all know what that means
She tried everything to get even if it isnt spelled out.
them, and nothing worked. She
did her best to convince me
that she was still in love HIDDEN DESIRES, BURIED
with me, but that was all MEANINGS
over long ago. For your sake,
she pretended it wasnt; and Like the subconscious, subtext can often
I let her pretend. be both more truthful and more powerful
than conscious, self-aware expression. A child
Ricks clear implication is that Ilsa slept may scream, I hate you! at a parent whose
with him to get the letters Victor needs to approval is all he craves. In As Good As It
escape the Nazis. But there are other lay- Gets (by Mark Andrus and James L. Brooks),
ers: In telling Victor this, he is also all but the obsessive-compulsive Melvin (Jack
insisting hes still the bastard hes always Nicholson) cant eat his breakfast because his
claimed to be, the man who sticks his neck favorite waitress isnt there to serve it to him,
out for no one. He still wanted Ilsa and so he goes to her apartment:
was willing to act on that desire. He is also
cruelly shoving in Victors face what Ilsa is Carol opens the door just as he
arrives on her landing. She holds
capable of, even if it was on her husbands
a container of ice, wash cloths and
behalf. Victor responds with the understated
a thermometer.
tolerance of a man who has been to hell and
back and managed to preserve his ideals:
MELVIN
VICTOR Im hungry.
I understand. (on Carols astonished look)
Youve upset my whole day. I
havent eaten.
This simple, stunning declaration that
he accepts what has happened leads Rick
to give him the letters. Victor thanks Rick, No doubt Melvin is hungrybut not for
shakes his hand and then says something food. Whether or not hes even aware of it,
that flies in the face of Ricks self-loathing: the subtext is that hes hungry for Carol.
Her absence, not lack of food, has upset his
VICTOR whole day. The scene continues:
And welcome back to the
fight. This time I know our
side will win. CAROL
Are you totally gone? This is
my private home ...
It is a verbal judo flip, a refusal not only
to blame Rick for his weakness but also to
MELVIN
insist upon his strength; and it finalizes I am trying to keep emotions
Ricks redemption. out of this even though this
The Hays Code turned out to be one of is an important issue to me
and I have strong feelings
the best things that ever happened to screen about the subject.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 69

"]l[`n#
CAROL the disjointed nature of his films world; Unable to see the larger truth behind the
What subject? That I wasnt
there to take crap from you the racial and geographic mix of characters, events that have occurred, Vincent remains
and bring you eggs? as well as the different kinds of food dis- unredeemed. Although he has physically
cussedLe Big Mac, Big Kahuna Burger, been as far away as Europe, he has never left
Of course, he isnt keeping emotions out Douglas Sirk Steak, etc.highlight a world his boss sphere of influence; and so he dies
of it because he is totally gonehes in love in which definitions are blurredand where at Butchs hands (gunned down, point blank,
with her. Carols reaction to his strong feel- it is up to each person to define a path, a set after taking a shit). The words and actions
ings unwittingly announces the true sub- of values and boundaries for themselves. reinforce one another and the theme.
ject: Taking crap from him and bringing Consider the significance of Capt.
him food could be considered a description Koons (Christopher Walken) gold-watch HEARING WHAT WASNT
(not flattering, but thats beside the point) of speech: Although entertainingly crude, it SAID, OR NOT HEARING
married life. On a surface level, Carol is talk- also defines a deeper sense of purpose and WHAT WAS
ing about where the story has beenshe has destiny surviving generations and wars all How characters listen to one another
waitressed for him. On a subtextual level, its over the world: and how they interpret what they hear is
about where the story is going. at least as important as what is actually said.
CAPT. KOONS (CONTD) Their own limitations or states of mind may
SIGNPOSTS AND ... The way your Daddy looked deeply affect how they react. A husband says
THEMATIC SUBTEXT at it, that watch was your
birthright. And hed be damned hes staying late at the office. Who is she?
Melvin and Carols exchange brings up if the slopeheads were gonna screams his jealous wife, having heard
the topic of subtext of which the characters put their greasy yella hands on that hes having an affair. King Lear hears
his boys birthright. So he hid
are unaware on either a conscious or subcon- it in the one place he knew he Cordelias rejection of his foolish demands
scious level but which the screenwriter has could hide somethin. His ass. as a rejection of himself, and her sisters false
included in order to reinforce the theme or Five long years he wore this flatteries as expressions of true love, when nei-
watch up his ass. Then when
hint at later developments in the story. The he died of dysentery, he gave ther could be further from the truth. Bruce
Terminator is full of such signposts, which me the watch. I hid the uncom- Willis character in The Sixth Sense (by M.
work to thread the story together and height- fortable hunk of metal up my Night Shyamalan) hears Haley Joel Osments
ass for two years. Then, after
en its themes. Early on, when Sarah Connor seven years, I was sent home character say, I see dead people, without
is having a hard day at work, her co-worker to my family. And now, little realizing that the boy is talking about him.
comforts her with: Look at it this way, in man, I give the watch to you. Returning to Casablanca, there is a sub-
100 years, whos gonna care? Of course, plot wherein a young Bulgarian couple,
in 100 years the world will depend upon This watch, passed from grandfather to Jan and Annina, are hoping to get pas-
Sarahs success. After Reese, the soldier from father to him (and from one literal set of sage to America. But first, they have to go
the future, has been shot in the arm while guts to another) gives Butch a moral cen- through the lecherous Capt. Renault, who
saving Sarahs life, she binds his wound. He terits what makes him tickand repre- will provide them with tickets only for a
says, Good field dressing. Implication: sents why he has a heart, why he is good to lot of money or for Anninas sexual favors.
Youre more capable than you imagine; I his wife, why he saves the mob boss who Without money, unsure if Renault will keep
respect you. She answers: You like it? Its wants him dead and why he ends up being his word, she comes to Rick for advice.
my first. Implication: Its not going to be permitted to live himself.
her last; also, that shes lost her virginity to The same is true of the Biblical passage ANNINA
violence, just as she will soon lose her heart from Ezekiel. At first, Jules recites it before Oh, Monsieur, you are a man.
If someone loved you very
to Reese. In the same scene, having finally killing someone because he thinks it sounds much so that your happiness
accepted she will have a son who will save cool; but, later on, its real meaning to him, was the only thing that she
humanity, she asks what hell be like. its latent moral code, becomes clear. He wanted in the whole world,
but she did a bad thing to
quits being a hit man, planning to leave make certain of it, could
REESE Los Angeles and walk the earth. Vincents you forgive her?
About my height. He has
your-- moral code, by contrast, is limited to loyalty
(winces) to his mob boss. Look how he responds to Rick answers that no one ever loved him
damn ... he has your eyes. Jules epiphany about the point-blank gun- that much and advises her to go back to
fire that somehow missed them both: Bulgaria. Of course, what hes hearing isnt
My height, your eyesneither of them is so much her problem as his own painful
aware of itbut, of course, this is a fore- JULES loss of Ilsa. The fact that Ilsa certainly loves
I was just sitting here
shadowing, a description of the son they are drinking my coffee, eating Victor that much is immediately reinforced
about to create together. my muffin, playin the inci- as they enter the caf. Struggling with these
Quentin Tarantinos famously flamboy- dent in my head, when I had feelings, Rick sticks his neck out and allows
what alcoholics refer to as
ant dialogue in Pulp Fiction works not only a moment of clarity. Jan to win enough at roulette to buy their
because it is filled with hip, pop references passage to freedom. Annina realizes what
but also because these references work on VINCENT Ricks done and tries to thank him. He
I gotta take a shit.
several levels. For one thing, they reiterate wont let her.

70 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " ] l [ ` n #
RICK personalities. Who are they? What kinds
Hes just a lucky guy.
of language are natural to them? How does
Rick has avoided the truthand yet spo- their dialogue move the story forward, act-
ken a deeper truth. Jan is lucky, not at rou- ing upon those needs and desires? Would it
lette, but because he has a woman like Annina make sense for a character to say something
who is willing to do anything for him. metaphorically or imply something rather
In David Peoples Unforgiven, there are than say it straight out? Would it still feel
many examples of how one character may believable? What kinds of inference might
hear something and interpret it quite differ- he use? Make him an offer he cant refuse
ently. Look at the exchange when The Kid doesnt imply education or breeding, but
comes back, distraught at actually having it does suggest confidence, a grim sense of
killed a man for the first time: humor and secretive street smarts.
Also, dont think only about what your
MUNNY characters want to say but also what theyre
Its a hell of a thing,
aint it, killin a man. expecting to hear; might they warp what is
You take everythin hes actually said to conform with these expec-
got ... an everythin hes tations? Look at the world, the setting, in
ever gonna have ...
which youve put them. Lastly, what are
THE KID you, the author, trying to say? Look for
(trying to pull himself opportunities where your characters can give
together)
Well, I gu-guess they had us a sense of what your story means. When
it ... comin. Munny says, We all got it comin, David
Peoples is giving us an insight into what it
MUNNY
We all got it comin, Kid. means to be unforgiven. When Melvin asks
the other patients in the waiting room, Is
The Kid tries to justify what hes done. this as good as it gets? he is expressing the
Munny tosses it back at him: Were all in the authors themewill any of us get past our
same situation, eventually. Its a moment of insanities and somehow find happiness? But
recognition that gets The Kidwho is near- these lines only work because they emerge
sighted, a subtextually telling bit of character naturally from the characters, at this point
constructionto finally see things clearly and in time, in this state of mind.
give up the brutal life of a gunslinger. Perhaps the most important advice is:
Dont strain for subtext right away. You may
THATS NICE, NOW HOW need to finish a first draft, have everyone say
DO I DO IT? explicitly whats on their mind and then go
Writing subtext isnt that complicated. back and rewrite the dialogue once you have a
You hear it and use it all the time. Youre clearer feeling for your characters, theme and
attracted to that girl working at the bike situations. Look for moments when a line can
shop and spend time asking her what kind mean more than one thing, carry more freight
of spokes you need before leading up to and give a scene greater complexity without
how muscular her calves are and does she having to make it any longer. The housewife
compete? Depending upon her personality who says, I wish you werent such a miserable
and how tough her day has been, she might tightwad, might instead say, Its wonderful
hear this as the awkward flattery it is and how much use you get out of a single pair of
reward you with a smile or she might inter- underwear. The cop who says to the crook,
pret it to mean youre a sleazebag wasting Drop it or Ill shoot! might instead say, Go
her time and chase you out of the shop. A ahead. Make my day. Look at your charac-
father trying to help his child face an injec- ters, what their functions and arcs are, what
tion might talk about how Native American they represent about your theme, what side
boys would pierce their flesh in a sun cer- theyre on, what their sense of humor is and
emony, not showing any fear. The child, on so forth. Youve already written their lines.
the other hand, might hear this and panic Now its time to write between them.
or feel humiliated, exactly the opposite of
what the father intended. ROBIN RUSSIN has had work produced in film,
But first and foremost, remember that
television and theatre as well as co-authoring
dialogue is a form of action; therefore,
it depends upon how youve set up your Screenplay: Writing the Picture. He is Professor
characters needs, desires, motivations and of Screenwriting at UC Riverside.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 71

 PHOTO: Elliott Marks, SMPSP Disney Enterprises, Inc. and Jerry Bruckheimer, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
by Richard Michaels Stefanik

THE

Movies
Movies of
of2003
2003
The Megahit Movies Redux:

PHOTO: Disney Enterprises, Inc. / Pixar

Animation Studios. All Rights Reserved.
Did the Hollywood story design paradigm
for creating blockbuster movies change
during the summer of 2003?

W
hen writing The Megahit Movies book, I studied films
that had U.S. domestic box-office grosses of about $250
million or more in order to determine if story structures
existed that were common to these movies. Although there did
appear to be a common paradigm for designing stories for popular
Hollywood movies, not all of the megahits shared all of the same one or more henchmen to do his dirty work (the sadistic Nazi and
story structures. For example, many screenwriting gurus tell us that the German soldiers for Belloq).
the essential structure of any story is that of a protagonist overcom- In the first 10 minutes of a megahit movie, the film attempts
ing obstacles in order to achieve an objective. But not all of the to hook the audience. This is often accomplished by first having a
megahits have a single protagonist. Some, like Men in Black, have scene in which the antagonist is introduced: a faceless villain that
dual protagonists; and others, like Independence Day, have multiple produces terror and hatred in the hearts of the audience. A problem
protagonists, all trying to achieve the same primary objective: Save is introduced which requires a hero to solve. The protagonist then
the human race from annihilation by aliens. comes into the story. He is shown in a situation guaranteed to gener-
Yet most of these megahit movies have the same core story ele- ate empathy for him with the audience. He reveals his dreams, his
ment: a unique object desired by both a protagonist and an antago- motivation and the primary objective that he hopes will satisfy his
nist. For example, in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Ark of the Covenant personal needs. Then something happens that throws the protago-
was the unique object desired by the hero, Indiana Jones, and the nist out of his complacent, everyday worldthe inciting eventand
villain, Belloq. The protagonist was the character with whom the causes him to take action to fulfill his dreams.
audience most identified and for whom the audience had empathy, For example, in Jurassic Park, the raptor in the metal cage devours
while the antagonist was a villain hated by the viewers. The unique a human being. Then Dr. Grant is introduced as an expert on dino-
object usually represented the ultimate power. The Ark was the most saurs. The inciting event occurs when Dr. Hammond requests that
powerful weapon in the universe. Not only were the lives of the Dr. Grant come to Jurassic Park. The unique object in this movie
protagonist and antagonist at stake in the struggle for its possession, is the control of Jurassic Park, with the humans as the protago-
but also another character was in the middle of this conflict, the love nists and the raptors, the antagonists. In Jaws, the great white shark
interest of the protagonist. Marion was this character in Raiders. The devours a young woman swimming in the ocean, and then Police
protagonist also had at least one primary supporter who helped him Chief Brody is introduced. The inciting event occurs with the dis-
on his quest (the Egyptian Sallah for Jones), while the antagonist had covery of the girls mutilated body on the beach.

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In many movies Spielberg does use protagonist in pursuit of the first major is achieved, Jones and Marion travel to
the classic opening structure. However subgoal he needs to accomplish to possess Cairo in search of the Well of Souls.
in Raiders of the Lost Ark, Spielberg starts the unique object. For Jones, this is the The pursuit of subgoal two provides
his movie with a prologue to establish headpiece of the Staff of Ra. To achieve the structure for the second act. Again,
the bitter relationship between Jones this subgoal he must overcome many the hero must overcome problems and
and Belloq. Jones gets possession of obstacles and problems. The love interest obstacles. At the end of the second act, the
an idol in the South American jungle, only is usually introduced in the first act as antagonist defeats the protagonist and pre-
to have it taken away from him by Belloq. a factor that creates more problems for vents the protagonist from possessing the
The real story of this movie does not start the protagonist. Marion is not willing to primary objective.
until Jones is back teaching at the university. give Jones the headpiece. The protagonist In Raiders, this situation occurs when
In Raiders, the military intelligence officers confronts the antagonist and prevents the Jones and Sallah have found the Ark. They
asking Jones to seek the Ark is the inciting antagonist from possessing both the pri- use ropes to climb down into the snake-filled
event that takes Jones out of the classroom mary objective and the love interest in the Well of Souls, uncover the Ark and use the
and starts him on his quest for the treasure. first act. The completion of the first sub- ropes to pull it up to the surface. The surprise
The protagonists primary objective becomes goal results in the first plot twist and sends plot twist occurs when Belloq then appears
connected with the unique object that the protagonist off to accomplish subgoal at the top of the Well of Souls. Belloq laughs
is also desired by the forces of the two. In Raiders, Jones fights with Belloqs at Jones as the sadistic Nazi tosses Marion
antagonist. henchman in order to save Marion and to down into the Well of Souls. Jones and
The first act of the movie shows the get possession of the headpiece. Once that Marion appear to be doomed as the fires dim
PHOTO: 2003 Warner Bros. All Rights Reserved.
PHOTO: and Lucasfilm Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 73

" ^ _ p _ f i j g _ h n #
Gentlemen ($66 million) and Lara Croft Tomb
Raider: The Cradle of Life ($65 million).
Why did some of these films fail to
become blockbusters? In order to become
a megahit, the most important thing that
a movie must do is give the audience an
emotionally satisfying experience. The audi-
ence must feel good when they leave the
theaters. They must also be willing to tell
their friends that this is a film they should
see. Good word of mouth and repeat view-
ing is necessary for any movie to become a
megahit. Therefore, it is not that difficult to
understand why some of these films failed.
PAGE 72 (TOP TO BOTTOM): Walt Disney Pictures Pirates of the Caribbean (screen story by Ted Elliott Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
& Terry Rossio and Stuart Beattie and Jay Wolpert, screenplay by Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio) and Disney/ did only half the business of the first Lara
Pixars Finding Nemo (story by Andrew Stanton, screenplay by Andrew Stanton and Bob Peterson and Croft movie. It, too, had a unique object,
David Reynolds) PAGE 73 (TOP TO BOTTOM): Warner Bros. Matrix Reloaded (characters and written Pandoras Box, which both the protagonist
by The Wachowski Brothers) and Paramount Pictures Raiders of the Lost Ark (story by George Lucas
and antagonists desired. But the films
and Philip Kaufman, Lawrence Kasdan) ABOVE: Finding Nemo, the highest-grossing megahit of 2003
ending was far from a happy one. After
demonstrating love for each other, Lara
and snakes crawl toward them. This is the It is the spirits unleashed from the Ark that killed her lover so that he could not take
moment of hopelessness and despair for the destroy them. Jones and Marion survive only possession of the unique object. Killing the
hero. The audience believes that he and his because they close their eyes and refuse to person whom you love and who loves you
love interest will not survive. look at the spirits. In many megahit mov- is not something that the audience wants to
But Jones and Marion escape from their ies, the protagonist does not directly kill experience, a lesson they care not to learn!
desperate situation. Jones then pursues his the antagonist; but the antagonist dies as The film became a bad date movie.
quest for the Ark. There are many subgoals a result of some action he initiated in his Having the protagonist die at the end
and many acts in this movie because both attempt to kill the protagonist, as is the case of the movie leaves an audience depressed
the Ark and the love interest constantly in Raiders. In Jurassic Park, Dr. Grant, Ellie because the audience invested so much emo-
change hands between the protagonist and and the children do not defeat the raptors. tion in the character. That was the biggest
the antagonist. The Germans plan to take The humans are about to be devoured when mistake made in The League of Extraordinary
the Ark back to Berlin for Hitler. Jones has a tyrannosaurus rex enters and kills the Gentlemen. Sean Connery, who played the
to stop them by destroying the plane. The raptors. The protagonist and love interest character Allan Quatermain, died at the
Germans then put the Ark into a truck. survive, but they are not the victors. end of the movie. Even though there was
Jones jumps on a horse and rides after the In classic Hollywood story structure, the suggestion that Africa will not let him
vehicle. He succeeds in getting possession of after the climax scene we have a resolution die and the closing image was of an African
the Ark and places it on a ship. But then the scene in which all loose ends are resolved. witch doctor dancing over his grave, most
Germans board the ship and take possession The protagonist either obtains the unique members of the audience left disappointed.
of both the Ark and Marion. Jones has to object, or it is destroyed in the climax scene. The character with whom they most identi-
board the submarine and ride it across the The protagonist and the love interest are fied and whom they admired was dead. In
Mediterranean Sea. On the island, Jones reunited, and the community celebrates most people, this is a cause for grief, not joy.
tracks down the Germans and threatens to their victory. In Raiders, the government In Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, the
destroy the Ark if Marion is not released. officials take possession of the Ark while audience is forced to watch human civili-
Belloq calls his bluff, and Jones is captured. Marion takes possession of Jones. In Jurassic zation being destroyed by a nuclear attack
In popular megahit movies, the antago- Park, Dr. Grant, Ellie and the children all fly launched by the machines. Even though
nist will have possession of both the unique away from the danger and leave Jurassic Park humans will probably prevail in the next
object and the love interest during the cli- to the dinosaurs. Terminator movie, watching the human race
max scene. Classic story theory states that in The summer of 2003 did have its share of being annihilated proved not to draw much
the climax scene, the protagonist will fight megahit movies: Finding Nemo ($335 mil- return audience. A similar problem happened
with the antagonist for both. During the lion), Pirates of the Caribbean ($295 million), in X2: X-Men United. In the closing scene,
battle, the protagonist triumphs, and the The Matrix Reloaded ($281 million) and two the mutants triumph over the human race.
antagonist is destroyed. Yet Spielberg does near misses with Bruce Almighty ($242 mil- The President of the United States was at the
not use this paradigm in Raiders or many lion) and X2: X-Men United ($214 million). mercy of the X-Men with the implicit threat
of his other movies. In Raiders, Jones and Then there were some potential contenders that if the he does not change his attitude, he
Marion are tied to a post and are forced that did not make the cut: Terminator 3: Rise will be replaced. This scene was not a pleas-
to watch as Belloq opens the Ark. Jones of the Machines ($150 million), The Hulk ing message for Americans after 9/11.
does not defeat Belloq and the Germans! ($132 million), The League of Extraordinary The Hulk had a different problemit

74 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " ^ _ p _ f i j g _ h n #
didnt know what kind of movie it really life, but then Liz saves Wills life. It could be unexpected way. The audience wants the
wanted to be. Instead of being another pure argued that there are at least two equal pro- protagonists to achieve their desired objec-
escapist, adolescent charmer like Spider- tagonists in this story, Will and Jack, because tives, but in an exciting and unpredictable
Man, it became a blend of A Beautiful together they kill the antagonist Barbossa. way. Both movies are filled with fascinating
Mind meets Spider-Man. To reinforce Jack shoots him with the pistol while Will characters that the audience cares about. Both
this approach, the producers even cast cuts his hand and drops the bloodied coin showed characters triumphing over impos-
Jennifer Connelly (the wife of John Nash into the Aztec treasure chest, thereby mak- sible obstacles and withstanding devastating
in A Beautiful Mind) as the love interest in ing Barbossa human and enabling him to defeats to eventually achieve the dreams that
this movie. The audience that came to see die from the gunshot wound. Neither Will they desired. Both are filled with plot twists
an action-adventure comic book hero had nor Jack could triumph alone. Yet this movie and humor. Both have happy endings, and
to sit through over an hour of psychologi- does end happily. Liz and Will have each both left the audiences with an emotionally
cal analysis and scientific backstory before other, Capt. Jack Sparrow gets back his ship, satisfying experience that caused them to tell
the CGI action began. There was no return The Black Pearl and heads out to the open friends and relatives to see the movies, and
audience for this movie. All the merchan- sea to live the free life of a pirate. see them again and again. All these elements
dising marketing could not bring the audi- Is there a unique object in Finding Nemo? combined made these films megahits during
ence for The Hulk back again. Perhaps not, unless it is Nemo himself. His the summer of 2003.
Bruce Almighty at $242 million almost is the character, like E.T., that the other
made it, and I was disappointed that it did characters want to possess. Who is the RICHARD MICHAELS STEFANIK is the
not move across the $250 million mark. I protagonist? Is it Nemo or Marlin? This is author of Structures of Fantasy, which has
thought that it was a well-structured movie a story with dual protagonists with dual pri-
been chosen by the Writers Guild of America
that had the core factors needed to become mary objectives. Marlin wants to find Nemo
Mentors Program for their list of recommended
a megahit: magic and humor. All I can think and bring him back home, Nemo wants to
screenwriting books and is described as one of
of is that it may have lost some of the family escape from the fish tank and return home.
audience with the few risqu moments that Again we have a happy ending, with Nemo the best books on story structure. A revised
the movie did have, such as Bruces lifting returning home with Marlin. edition of this book has been published as The
up a womans dress. But it is definitely a Both Pirates of the Caribbean and Finding Megahit Movies. His new screenwriting book,
fun movie that many people saw more than Nemo became megahits because they gave Story Design for Creating Popular Hollywood
once this summer. the audience what it wanted, but in an Movies, will be published in 2004.
All the critics panned The Matrix
Reloaded, but the marketing and built-in
return audience from The Matrix could not
break its momentum. It became the movie
that everyone had to see this summer if
for no other reason than to experience the
shared disappointment in an uninspired
story. Everyone had to see it once, but the
experience killed the repeat audience.
We are left with the two undisputed
megahit movies of 2003: Pirates of the
Caribbean and Finding Nemo. Did these
stories stay within the constructs of the stan-
dard Hollywood story paradigm, or did they,
too, break accepted story conventions?
What is the unique object in Pirates of the
Caribbean? It is the Aztec coin that was stolen
by Bootstrap Turner. The coin possessed by
Will and Liz and desired by the antagonist
who needs it to be saved from the curse. It is
clear who the antagonist is: Barbossa. He is
the ultimate villain. Barbossa led the mutiny
that stole The Black Pearl from Capt. Jack
Sparrow, killed Wills father and who tries to
kill Liz, Will and Jack. Who is the protago-
nist and who is the love interest? Is Jack the
protagonist, or is Will? Or Liz? They all take
active roles in the story. Liz is the love inter-
est for Will, Jack and Norrington, but Will
is the love interest for Liz. Will saves Lizs

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 75

 " g _ _ n  n b _  l _ [ ^ _ l #
by Ray Morton

CONVENTIONAL CLICHSPART TWO

In the last issue, we began taking a look at the conventions and clichs of the major screenwriting genres. We defined
a convention as being an element (a concept, character, structure, plot twist, etc.) essential to a specific genre and a
clich as being a way of implementing a convention that has gone stale. My last column began with Drama (Underdog,
Biographical, Character and Issue). In this column, well finish up and then move on to Comedy.

DRAMA (CONTD) but eventually gets hurt, betrayed or disillu-

PHOTO: Claudette Barius / New Line Productions

The Quest Drama: Stories in which a sioned, often by the new friend. The protag-
character sets off in search of an important onist returns to his old world, often to find
object or goal, has a series of adventures that he doesnt really belong there anymore
and learns a valuable lesson along the way. either. In the end, a wiser and more mature
Examples of this kind of story are The protagonist sets out on a new path, one that
Searchers, About Schmidt and The Lord of will define the course his life will take as an
the Rings. Conventions include establish- adult. One of the biggest clichs of this sub-
ing the protagonist in comfortable circum- genre is the protagonists wistful narration
stances. Something happens that shakes up (looking back from his new, mature vantage
the protagonists world and causes him to point) that fills us in on the hindsight-
set out in search of somethingan object, drenched meaning of every scene. (Little
person or goalhe hopes will provide did I know as I popped the stick of gum in
the solution to his problems. He starts my mouth on that cold, December morning
out along a predetermined path but soon back in 1941 that it would be the last bubble Jack Nicholson as Warren R. Schmidt in About
finds himself sidetracked. He has a series I would ever blow in a world at peace ) Schmidt, written by Louis Begley (novel), Alexander
of adventures that helps him gain insight, Other clichs include an incredibly abrupt Payne (screenplay) & Jim Taylor (screenplay)
eventually returns to his original path and (and often unmotivated) turnaround of the
finally achieves his goal. At this point, the mentor/idol/lover character from friend to stemming from the differences between their
protagonist is either fulfilled or, as a result antagonist, usually accompanied by a Why two worldsarises between them, and they
of the lessons he has learned during his dont you grow up? speech. The final clich break up. In the end, however, they realize
journey, realizes he no longer needs what- of this subgenre is the obligatory scene in how much they love each other and find a
ever the object of the quest had promised. which the old friend the protagonist threw way to bridge the gap between them. Clichs
Clichs include scenes in which another over welcomes him back with open arms. include the character of the female protago-
character spells out for the protagonist Where I come from, if you treated someone nists best friend and confidant, who is either
(who cant see it himself ) exactly what that shabbily, he would probably kick you in an angry, bitter, man-hating woman or an
he needs and how fulfilling the quest will the butt and rightly tell you to sod off. impossibly sensitive and supportive gay man;
achieve that for him, or else a scene in and the character of the male protagonists
which another character tells the protago- COMEDY best friend and confidant, who is a boorish,
nist that his quest is meaningless because In many ways, comedy is simply the flip slovenly, male chauvinist, party animal.
he already has what hes looking for. side of drama. As a result, they share many A worse clich is the surprise romance
The Coming-of-Age Drama: A story of the same subgenres (there are Underdog, that develops between these two. Another is
in which a young, usually nave character Quest, Coming-of-Age, Character and even the dating montage chronicling the hor-
undergoes some sort of trial by fire that sets Issue Comedies). The comedies share the rible romantic experiences of one or both
him on the road to adulthood. Examples same conventions as their dramatic counter- protagonists prior to their meeting. But
are Summer of 42, The Cider House Rules parts and often fall victim to the same clichs. the worst romantic comedy clich of all is
and Breaking Away. Conventions include There are, however, a few subgenres that exist the realization by one of the protagonists
the protagonist being introduced in a almost purely in the comic realm. They are: that he loves the other, after which he races
halcyon setting that establishes that he is The Romantic Comedy: Examples are across whatever city in which the story is
innocent, nave or a combination of both. When Harry Met Sally, Notting Hill and set in order to intercept the other before he
Circumstances arise that take the eager pro- Pretty Woman. Conventions include two or she leaves on an extended trip that will
tagonist out of his world and into a glam- people from different worlds (different separate them forever. This event is usually
orous new one. In the process, he usually cultures, social classes, educational and eco- coupled with another clichthe scene in
ditches an old friend in favor of an exotic nomic backgrounds, etc.) meeting cute, which the running protagonist arrives at the
new one (a mentor, idol, lover, etc.) who developing an instant mutual dislike, then departure point only to find that the other
serves as his guide in the new world. At first, gradually warming to one another and even- has already left. Seconds later, however, the
the protagonist enjoys his new experiences tually falling in love. A problemusually protagonist learns that the other hasnt left

76 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " g _ _ n  n b _  l _ [ ^ _ l #
after all, butsomehow knowing that the world of the slobs, gradually loosens up and
running protagonist would have his realiza- eventually becomes one of them; a Belushi-
tion and hightail it on overstayed behind esque character whose comically over-the-top
so that they can live happily ever after. antics appall even the slobs; a toga party
The Fish-Out-of-Water Comedy: scene in which the slobs all get down with
Examples are Beverly Hills Cop, Legally Blonde outrageous acts of partying (and in which the
and Crocodile Dundee. Conventions include straight character finally lets his hair down,
a protagonist from one culture transplanted usually by getting incredibly drunk or by
to another that is the complete opposite of participating in an orgy); a borderline fascist
the one he comes from. (The usual scenarios character who serves as the leader of the snob
are either a simple protagonist transplanted contingent, and a craven toady who serves
into a sophisticated culture or a sophisticated as the fascists right-hand man.
protagonist dropped into a simple culture.) Other comedic subgenres include The
The protagonist tries to adapt to the new Teen Comedy, which is usually a Romantic,
culture, with hapless results. The protagonist Fish-Out-of-Water or Slob Comedy, only
often finds an ally in a sympathetic member with younger characters and a large dose of
of the new culture, who becomes either a gross-out humor. These films usually adhere
friend or a lover. Eventually, the protagonist to the conventions and clichs of whatever
begins to fit in, only to face opposition from genre they are emulating. Another popular
a faction of the new culture that finally forces subgenre is The Spoof Comedy. Examples
him out. Just as the protagonist is about to are Airplane and Scary Movie. Since the
depart, a crisis arises that only hewith his whole point is to make fun of a specific
native skills or wisdomcan resolve. He does genre, a spoof will usually follow the conven-
and, in the end, is celebrated and embraced tions of that genre to a t as well as pile on
by the grateful members of the new culture. the clichs to the point where it is impossible
Clichs include, well ... the entire genre is not to laugh. Finally, there is The Idiot/Naf
something of a clich (although it can still be Comedy. Examples are The Pink Panther,
effective if done right). A clich within the Bean and Ace Ventura. In these films, the
clich, however, is the seemingly inevitable lead character is either impossibly inno-
scene in which one member of the new cent or impossibly dumb, traits that cause
cultureusually a prim and proper old everyone else in the story (who are usually
ladygets down by aping the protagonists portrayed in a fairly straightforward manner)
culture in some way or another. I mean, just to underestimate him but that, in the end,
how many rapping granny scenes does the allow him to triumph. Like Teen Comedies,
world need anyway? Idiot Comedies are usually variations of
The Slob Comedy: Stories in which a existing genres (Mysteries, Thrillers, Quest
group of motley misfits go up against a band and Buddy films) and, thus, usually follow
of more respectable elites and emerge as win- the conventions and clichs of those genres
ners. Examples include Revenge of the Nerds, with the exception being, of course, that the
Caddyshack and the granddaddy of them all, protagonist is a complete moron.
Animal House. Conventions include scenes Thats it for Part Two. Next issue
establishing our protagonist group as lovable well continue with Thrillers, Mysteries,
slobs who live in a specific environment (a Adventure and Action.
university, summer camp, country club, (Columnists Note: In the previous column,
etc.) along with a much more elite, superior Rocky IV was cited as the prototypical
bunch who look down on them. A rivalry Underdog drama. That was a mistake.
develops which usually takes the form of The sentence should have cited Rocky, not
outrageous pranks on the part of our heroes Rocky IV. Rocky is a great script. Rocky IV is,
while the snobs content themselves with um, not. R.M.)
manipulating the rules of the environment in
ways that put our group at an increasing dis-
RAY MORTON is a writer, script consultant and
advantage. Ultimately, the snobs get the slobs
script reader. He has worked for a variety of
kicked out of the environment. The slobs producers, production companies and screen-
rally to either pull an outrageous stunt or writers. He is the author of several teleplays
participate in a high-stakes competition with and screenplays as well as this column and
the snobs that settles all scores. In the end, of can be reached at [email protected] or on the
course, the slobs triumph. Clichs include a Done Deal scr(i)pt magazine message board
straight character who reluctantly enters the (Scriptsales.com).

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 77

 " n b _  \ o m c h _ m m #
by Andrew Schneider

SALES FORCE Pritzker, Deborah Del Prete and Patrick Aluise will produce the
project. Brimson is the author of 10 books about the British soccer
Who Sold What culture, including The Crew and Barmy Army. Alexanders short
Johnny Flynton was nominated for a 2003 Academy Award.
to Whom and for
New Line Cinema has paid low- against mid-six figures for
How Much? the spec Jive Turkey by scribe Wayne Conley. The story follows
a young African-American man and his Caucasian girlfriend as
SPECS they go home for Thanksgiving. Through a series of accidents,
Warner Bros. Pictures has acquired the spec Labor Pains from the couples families end up spending Thanksgiving together even
writers Lara Shapiro and Stacy Kramer for an undisclosed though both sets of parents have no idea their kids are even dat-
amount. Labor Pains is the story of a woman who prevents herself ing. Conley recently penned Kings Ransom for New Line and also
from being fired from her job by faking a pregnancy but must did a production rewrite on If You Were My Girl. New Lines Keith
then live out the lie for the next nine months. Bernie Goldmann is Goldberg is overseeing the project. Conley is repped by Writers
producing the project, and Benderspink, who manages the writers, & Artists Agency.
will executive produce. Warner Bros. Vice President of Production
Jessica Goodman will oversee development. Kramer, who produced MGM has picked up Bragi Schut Jr.s spec Season of the Witch,
Jawbreaker, previously co-wrote the spec #6E for Fox Searchlight. at mid- against high-six figures, for Mosaic Media Group to
produce. The story revolves around a group of knights in 14th
Odd Lot Entertainment has bought the spec script Hooligans, century France who must transport a woman accused of witchcraft
based on the work of British novelist and journalist Dougie to a mountain abbey where the monks will seek to understand and
Brimson. Written by Brimson, Josh Shelov and Lexi Alexander, destroy her powersbelieved to be the source of the Black Plague.
the story centers on a wrongfully expelled Harvard undergraduate Mosaics Chuck Roven will produce, and MGM executives Erik
who moves to London and befriends a man who introduces him Baiers and Toby Jaffee will oversee the project. Schut is repped by
to the violent underworld of football hooliganism. Odd Lots Gigi the Brant Rose Agency and Benderspink.

78 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
 " n b _  \ o m c h _ m m #
Universal Pictures has paid $1.25 mil- Warner Bros. Pictures has picked up Mary Flower Girl into Warner Bros. and will
lion against $1.75 million for the college Elders wedding-comedy pitch Flower Girl oversee the project at the studio. Phoenix
comedy Accepted from writer Mark Perez. for Phoenix Pictures and Underground Films Pictures Mike Medavoy will produce, while
Tom Shadyac of Shady Acres Prods. will pro- to produce. Screenwriter Dan Schneider Matt Bierman will oversee the projects
duce along with Michael Bostick. The story (Good Burger, Big Fat Liar) has already been development at the company. Flower Girl
focuses on an underachieving high school brought onboard to rework Elders original is Elders first pitch and script sale. She is
senior who, wanting to get his parents off his script, whose concept is being described repped by Writers & Artists Agency and
back about attending college, takes an entre- as Home Alone set at a wedding. Schneider Mission Management. Schneider is repped
preneurial point of view on things. Sources, will receive high-six figures for his scripting by Endeavor.
who described the script as being in the duties. The story revolves around a 12-year-
vein of Old School, confirmed that Universal old girl who joins her soon-to-be stepbrother Benjamin Queen has been hired to
outbid several suitors, including Paramount, to wreak havoc at their parents wedding and write the script for Moxie, a musical to
MGM and Regency Enterprises. Perez and ruin the marriage. Jessica Goodman brought be directed by Jon Chu at DreamWorks.
his manager Brian Lutz are executive produc-
ing the project, while Scott Stuber and Holly
Bario are overseeing for Universal. Perez is
currently writing Hardy Men for Fox 2000
and The Afterparty and Hit Man for Warner
Bros. Pictures. The writer is repped by Lutz 

  
and United Talent Agency.



 


Regency Enterprises is testing the fan-
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(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY
S E P T E M B E R O C T O B E R 2 0 0 8 Script smagazine
cr(i)pt 79
79
" n b _  \ o m c h _ m m #
executive Adam Goodman will oversee State Street Pictures and Fox 2000 to write romantic comedy centers on a girl who,
Moxie for the studio. Drew Crevello will The Derwin Henderson Story. The writer is bowing to pressure about her love life from
oversee the project for Jinks/Cohen. Set in repped by UTA and Principato-Young. friends and family, buys the novelty toy
modern day San Francisco, Moxie is a teen Boyfriend in a Box, which includes pho-
love story that was pitched by Chu, who is Warner Bros. Pictures has hired scribe tos and other proof of her fictitious beau.
also directing the remake of Bye Bye Birdie Massy Tadjedin to write the politi- Soon she finds that she must produce the
for Columbia Pictures and Red Wagon cal thriller The Case Study for Jennifer man for her curious family. When she
Prods. Queen is repped by ICM and man- Aniston and Brad Pitts Warner Bros.- tracks down the man from the kit, she
aged by Chad Snopek. based Plan B production shingle. The finds that the real-life guy is nothing like
project is based upon an original idea the boxed boyfriend. Greg Silverman at
The Walt Disney Co. has bought the developed by Plan B and Tadjedin. Warner Bros. is in charge of the project
pitch King of the Gods from screenwriter Sid Aniston will produce with Plan Bs Brad and Beau Flynn of Firm Films is pro-
Quashie for Mayhem Pictures to produce. Grey. Warner Bros. Senior Vice President ducing along with Jackie Levine and Jill
Independent producer A.J. Marcantonio, of Production Courtney Valenti will Tanner at their Jack and Jill Prods. The
who developed the idea with Quashie, will supervise development. Tadjedin recently project will be co-produced by Murphys
also produce with Mayhems Gordon Gray wrote The Jacket with Marc Rosso for manager, JoAnne Colonna, and executive
and Mark Ciardi. King of the Gods, an George Clooney and Steven Soderberghs produced by Jennifer Davisson, both from
epic-fantasy adventure, explores how the Warner Bros.-based Section Eight and the Firm. Wells is repped by Paradigm
young god Zeus discovers his destiny to Mandalay Entertainment. She is also Talent and Literary Agency, manager Brad
overthrow his father and become ruler of writing the police thriller Lady Gold at Mendelsohn and attorney Kevin Yorn.
the Earth and heavens. The studio paid Paramount Pictures for Mel Gibsons Icon
low- against mid-six figures. The project Prods. Tadjedin is repped by ICM. BOOKS
is being overseen by Buena Vista Motion Craig Fernandez has signed a deal with
Pictures Group Senior Vice President of Brittany Murphy is set to star in Camelot Pictures to pen two projects, the
Production Brigham Taylor, who recently Boyfriend in a Box, which will be scripted second of which will be his directorial
shepherded the studios smash hit Pirates of by Gren Wells as part of her two-picture debut. Sensibilidad is a contemporary adap-
the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. deal with Warner Bros. Pictures. The proj- tation of Jane Austens Sense and Sensibility,
Quashie most recently signed a deal with ect was sold as a pitch by Wells. The focusing on a modern Mexican family in
Los Angeles. Fernandez will direct from his
screenplay, with Camelots Gary Gilbert
and Dan Halsted producing. Camelot has
also optioned Marlene, a female actioner
in the vein of La Femme Nikita. The story
focuses on a former KGB agent whose past
catches up with her when her former team
ruins her life in order to bring her back
into the mix. Both scripts were acquired in
the low six-figures. Fernandez previously
wrote Biker Boyz. He is repped by William
Morris Agency, Gotham Group and attor-
ney Adam Kaller.

Filmmaker Keith Gordon has been hired

to write an adaptation of Isaac Asimovs
science-fiction novel The End of Eternity for
C/W Prods. and Paramount Pictures. The
master of fine arts in creative writing 1955 novel centers on Andrew Harlan, a
technician working in the distant future in a
intensive residency program place called Eternity. Eternity operates out-
M.F.A. in Creative Writing side of space and time, and its primary task
Paul Selig, Program Director is to alter minute events in the time-strip
of human history in order to avoid disasters
such as war and severe depression. Harlan
stumbles upon a beautiful woman in one
MFAW/SC
of the centuries, falls in love with her and
1-800-468-4888 decides to break the rules to be with her. As
a writer-director, Gordons credits include

80
80 Script
s c r ( i ) pmagazine
t WWW.SCRIPTMAG.COM
scriptmag.com
 " n b _  \ o m c h _ m m #
The Chocolate War and A Midnight Clear. screenwriter Mel Stewart to pen a project
Gordon is repped by UTA and attorney based on the comic book The Phantom. Its about the dream...
Craig Emmanuel. The comic, which has been adapted for Its about your potential...
Dimension Films is negotiating to obtain the screen before, focuses on The Phantom, I t s a b o u t t h e P R O C E S S !
The Lost Years of Merlin, T.A. Barrons best- a superhero clad in a purple suit with no
selling young adult novels retracing the boy- supernatural powers, appears immortal and
hood and coming-of-age of the Arthurian combats evil in Africa. It is reported that the The
magician, to be produced by Lorenzo di updated version will be modernized. The Complete
Bonaventura as a possible fantasy franchise.
Screenwriter Simon Kinberg will adapt
project is the latest sale for Stewart, who
won three medals (two gold and one bronze)
Screenplay
the feature from Barrons novel, the first in as a swimmer in the 1992 Olympics in
a series of five books. The stories follow the Barcelona, Spain. Following the Olympics, Sally B. Merlin,
young Merlin from the moment the wizard Stewart moved to Los Angeles and had his Script Doctor
is washed up on the shores of ancient Wales own show on ESPN before crossing over
to his quest to find his real home and iden- to a career as a screenwriter. Previously, She is known as a person who
tity, his friendship with King Arthur and he sold Fly, a project based upon his life
his travels in enchanted lands. Dimension story, to Fox 2000. He also recently sold finds emerging talent, nurtures it,
co-Presidents Brad Weston and Andrew the spec They Scythe to Ken Badish and and finds it a home. She has been
Rona will oversee the project for the studio. Active Entertainment. Stewart is repped by instrumental in the careers of some
The deal is being negotiated for Dimension Genesis, manager Scott Karp at Immortal of Hollywoods most exceptional
by Executive Vice President of Business and Entertainment and attorney Mark Temple.
Legal Affairs Andrew Gumpert. talent. Kathleen Kennedy, President,
Tom Hanks and Gary Goetzmans Amblin Entertainment (1979-1994)
Trilogy Entertainment Group has gained Playtone Prods. has optioned feature film
rights to Richard Condons World War II rights to They Marched Into Sunlight, CALL FOR DETAILS 301-847-1410
thriller An Infinity of Mirrors. Hollywoods written by Pulitzer Prize-winner David
past Condon adaptations include Prizzis Maraniss. Published earlier this month by www.completescreenplay.com
Honor and The Manchurian Candidate. Simon & Schuster, the book is the result
An Infinity of Mirrors details the romance of three years of work by Maraniss in delv-
between a French Jewish woman and a ing into two different events and using
German officer who marry and move to them to contrast the American experience
Berlin just as Hitler begins his rise to power. during the war in Vietnam. The book
The story is told from the perspectives of closely follows the events of October 17
both the Jews and the German officers. and 18, 1967, when a group of American
However, Trilogy partner John Watson, who soldiers was killed in Vietnam. At the same
will write the adaptation, said the film would time, a sit-in was staged at the University
not delve into the world of concentration of Wisconsin against Dow Chemical, the
camps. Trilogy partners Pen Densham, Neil makers of napalm and Agent Orange,
Kaplan and Watson will produce, and David only to turn violent. Although Playtone
Haspel will executive produce. has a production pact with Universal
Pictures, the project is not yet set up at
New Line Cinema has optioned Neil a studio and there is no writer or direc-
Zawackis book How to Be a Villain for tor attached. Maraniss was repped in the
Mandeville Films to produce. The humor- deal by Creative Artists Agency and his
ous adaptation, for which a writer has yet book agent Raphael Sagalyn at the Sagalyn
to be hired, will focus on a loser who, in an Literary Agency.
effort to seek retribution for a life of finish-
ing last, sets his sights on becoming a super- Director Steven Shainberg (Secretary)
villain. Mandevilles David Hoberman will has made a deal to develop a screen ver-
produce the project, while Todd Lieberman sion of Word, a new book by Coerte
is executive producing. New Lines Mark Felske. Monsters Ball screenwriter Will
Kaufman, Matt Moore and Luke Ryan are Rokos will write the script, and Shainberg
overseeing for the studio. The book was and Brad Zions will produce the project.
represented by UTA. Word is the fourth consecutive Hollywood
sale of a novel by Felske, who has just
Crusader Entertainment and Hyde Park signed with CAA. The book centers on
have tapped Olympic gold medalist-turned- a struggling screenwriter in Los Angeles

(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 81

" n b _  \ o m c h _ m m #
OTHER DEALS President of Production Scott Stuber and
WriterBytes Dimension Films has optioned Stephen
Kings short story 1408, with Matt
Vice President Dylan Clark and Imagine
Vice President Kim Roth. Moffet is repped
NEW from MovieBytes.com! Greenberg attached to write the feature by William Morris Agency.
adaptation. The story centers on a success-
Selling a ful writer, known for his spooky tales, who Philip Seymour Hoffmans newly formed
gets a taste of his own fictional medicine Coopers Town Prods. has already slated its
Screenplay? during a frightening stay in room 1408 at first project, One Split Second, from director
Introduce yourself to the the Dolphin Hotel. Lorenzo di Bonaventura Katie Fleischer. Penned by Fleischer, the
will produce. Greenberg previously wrote psychological thriller centers on a woman
industry with a web site of Halloween H20 for Dimension. Greenberg who will do anything to keep her dying
your own! was repped in the deal by CAA. husband alive, only to find theres a terrible
Promote yourself and your price when he recovers. Jason Dietz, who
writing with a ByteSite from In a deal near seven figures, comedy writ- wrote the story, will produce, with Hoffman
WriterBytes.com, the new- ing team Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben as executive producer. The husband-and-
est service from MovieBytes. Garant have been hired by the Walt Disney wife team of Fleischer and Dietz co-created
In five minutes or less you
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software to install, and the cost David Berenbaum. Sources indicate that the Gerolmo, Resurrecting the Champ centers
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projects, such as Taxi and Starsky & Hutch, in pletely honest about his identity, the report-
Find an Agent NOW! post-production at Warner Bros. Pictures and er loses his job. Mike Medavoys Phoenix
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duo created and starred in Comedy Centrals Frydman will join him in that capacity.
Reno 911. The writers are repped by CAA,
Principato-Young and attorney Karl Austen. Revolution Studios has tapped Broadway
director Jack OBrien (Hairspray) to helm
Anne Meredith has been set to write Slammer with Sara Goodman to write the
Whos Buying What Piece of My Heart, Lakeshore/Paramounts script. The dark comedy revolves around an
In Hollywood? Janis Joplin biopic, in which Rene imprisoned female publicist who attempts
Zellweger plans to star. Zellweger is pro- to spin a positive image of jail by produc-
Subscribe to MovieBytes Whos
Buying What to learn whos ducing with Tom Rosenberg and Gary ing an inmate talent show. The project
buying and whos selling scripts Lucchesi. Meredith wrote the script for will be produced by Elaine Goldsmith-
in Hollywood. Our online data- Bastard Out of Carolina and followed that Thomas, who heads Revolutions New York
base features sales data and with the Holocaust film Out of the Ashes. office; Deborah Schindler, president of Julia
contact info for more than 500 Meredith is repped by Broder-Webb- Roberts Red Om Prods.; Carol Baum and
Hollywood agents, indexed and Chervin-Silbermann. Howard Rosenman. Goodman just signed a
updated daily! deal with Paramount to write Dance Lessons
Discount Coupons! Jordan Moffet has been hired by Imagine as a potential starring vehicle for Jennifer
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vendors. story follows the plans of a guy who plays duced by Touchstone and Spyglass about
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WhosBuyingWhat.com Jungle 2. Supervising Sick Day are Universal managed by Anonymous.

82 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com
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(2004) JANUARY/FEBRUARY scr(i)pt 83

 -ERLINS-USINGS
Character Is In The Details

Frances McDormand as Marge Gunderson in Fargo, written by Joel by Sally B. Merlin

Coen & Ethan Coen

!
s winter deepens, I find my thoughts turning to hearty com- - In the Brainerd police headquarters, Marge peruses motel regis-
fort foods and favorite films like Fargo. Okay, maybe Joel and tration cards while wolfing down Arbys food.
Ethan Coens Oscar-winner wasnt the heartiest film noir/ - In the cafeteria, Marge consumes beef stroganoff, Swedish meat-
detective movie ever made, but it was probably the coldest. And balls and broiled torsk as she ponders the suspicious phone calls.
definitely the whitest. Another reason that the Coens dwell on mundane details like
How white was Fargo? Forget film noir. Think film blanc. weather and food is to illustrate that the characters now embroiled
In the dead of winter in North Dakota, the Brothers Coen chose in this web of deceit and crime led otherwise very normal lives. If
the whitest place in the continental United States, both in terms of not for the kidnapping, Jerry and his father-in-law would be sitting
landscape and population. in the kitchen discussing something totally unremarkable over that
I am a sucker for films that seduce my sensory self. This film filbert ring. The fact that Marge was eating stroganoff while consid-
opens with a scene of featureless white. Gradually, there is defini- ering details of the kidnapping help to show that, even though a hor-
tion: falling snow ... on a snowy highway. A car towing a light brown rible crime had taken place and a womans life hung in the balance,
Cutlass Sierra passes a dark road sign (a portent of things to come): lifes little details like the need for food still exist as if nothing were
Now Entering Fargo, ND, Pop. 44,412. out of the ordinary. Life in Fargo marches on.
At the end of the film, we follow a snowplow clearing a lane of Consider, too, essential to the success of any movie is that the
blacktop, revealing the letters previously obscured by the drifting audience likes spending time with our guythe protagonist. But,
snow: Outside of Bismarck, North Dakota. In between, about the in Fargo, our guy is a womanand she doesnt appear in the
only dark thing in the entire film is the Coens sense of humor. movie until a good half-hour into the story. The Coens attention
Winter was as important a character as Jerry, the unctuous car to creating the environment in which she works serves a dual
dealer; or Gaear and Carl, the inept kidnappers; or Marge, the plucky purpose. The audience comes to know and understand Marge by
police chief who gets to the bottom of the bungled crime; or Norm, her surroundings, her likes and dislikes. The Coens ease us into
Marges duck-stamp-painting, stay-at-home husband (my favorite). the complexity of our heroine by giving us the unique locale in
So why did the Coens spend so much time setting up the unusual which Marge lives. By the time we actually meet Marge, we are
landscape of Fargo? The answer is in the subtext: The Coens wanted enthralled by her.
you to feel the overwhelming cold, to understand winter in North The extreme whiteness of the environment, the quirkiness of
Dakota. The setting was a part of who the characters were and the characters who chose to live there, the strange attention to
helped to explain their quirks and motivations. mundane details of their livesall these elements combined are
The landscape was not the only detail that the Coens returned to the reasons I simply loved making the journey with Police Chief
again and again in their script. Not since Snow Day and Big Night Marge Gunderson, loved sharing her food cravings, loved how she
has winter or comestibles, respectively, figured so prominently in a said Yah as automatically as a Tarantino low-life would utter an
movies subtext. Consider the strong supporting roles food plays in expletive. And, I loved how she solved her case: putting one foot in
the following scenes from Fargo: front of the other and gamely plodding forward.
- In Jerrys kitchen, he and his father-in-law strategize the ransom On feet with swollen ankles.
payment over a cinnamon filbert ring. Yah, Margie.
- In the Cutlass Sierra, Gaear, the sullen Swede, obsesses over Oh, yah.
Pancakes Hause pancakes, much to the chagrin of the steak- Some winters are worth the wait.
favoring Carl.
Merlin

84 scr(i)pt scriptmag.com