Parental Meta Emotion Philosophy and The Emotional Life of Families Theoretical Models and Preliminary Data

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Journal of Family Psychology 19%, Vol. 10, No.

3, 243-268
Copyright 1996 by the American Psychologcal Assocation, Jnc.
0893-3200/96/$3.00

Parental Meta-Emotion Philosophy and the Emotional Life


of Families: Theoretical Models and Preliminary Data
John M. Gottman, Lynn Fainsilber Katz, and Carole Hooven
Universty of Washington

This article introduces the concepts of parental meta-emotion, which refers to parents'
emotions about their own and ther children's emotions, and meta-emotion philosophy,
which refers to an organized set of thoughts and metaphors, a philosophy, and an
approach to one's own emotions and to one's children's emotions. ln the context of a
longitudinal study beginning when the children were 5 years old and ending when they
were 8 years old, a theoretcal model and path analytic models are presented that relate
parental meta-emotion phlosophy to parenting, to child regulatory physiology, to
emotion regulation abilities in the child, and to child outcomes in middle childhood.

The importance of parenting practices for children' s long-term psychological adjustment has
been a central tenet in developmental and family psychology. ln this article, we introduce a new
concept of parenting that we call parental meta-emotion philosophy, which refers to an organized
set of feelings and thoughts about one's own emotions and one's children's emo- tions. We use the
term meta-emotion broadly to encompass both feelings and thoughts about emotion, rather than in
the more narrow sense of one's feelings about feelings (e.g., feeling guilty about being angry). The
notion we have in mind parallels metacognition, which refers to the executive functions of cognition
(Allen & Armour, 1993; Bvinelli, 1993; Flavell, 1979; Fodor, 1992; Olson & Astington, 1993). ln
an analogous manner, meta-emotion philosophy

John M. Gottrnan, Lynn Fainsilber Katz, and Car- ole Hooven, Department of Psychology, University of
Washngton.
The research of this article was supported by Na- tional Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Research Grants
MH42484 and MH35997, by an NIMH Merit Award to extend research in time, and by Research Scentist
Award K2MH00257.
This research received a great deal of support from Michael Guralnick, director of the Center for Human
Developmental Disabilities (CHDD), and CHDD's core facilities, particularly the Instrument Develop- ment
Laboratory at the University of Washngton.
Correspondence conceming this article should be addressed to John M. Gottrnan, Department of Psy-
chology, Box 351525, University of Washington, Seattle, Washington 98115.
refers to executive functions of emotion. ln this article, we discuss the evolution of the me ta-
emotion construct and describe its relationship to various aspects of family and child function- ng.
We present a parsimonious theoretical model of the role of parental meta -emotions in children's
emotional development, operational- ize this model, and present some path analytic tests of the
model. In this model, we argue (a) that parental meta-emotion philosophy is re- lated to both the
inhibition of parental negative affect and the facilitation of positive parenting;
(b) that it directly affects children's regulatory physiology; and (e) that this, in tum, affects
children's ability to regulate their emotions- hence, parental meta-emotion philosophy has an
impact on a variety of child outcomes.

Background

The Concept of Meta-Emotion


Research in developmental psychology on the effects of parenting has focused on parental affect
and discipline, selecting variables such as warmth, control, authoritarian or authoritative styles,
and responsiveness (see Ainsworth, Bell, & Stayton, 1971; Baumrind, 1967, 1971; Becker, 1964;
Cohn, Cowan, Cowan, & Pear- son, 1992; C. P. Cowan & P. A. Cowan, 1992; Maccoby & Martin,
1983; Patterson, 1982; and Schaefer, 1959). Little attention has been placed on examinng the
parents' feelings and cogni- tons about their own affect or their feelings and cogntions about their
child's affect.

243
244 GOTIMAN, KATZ, AND HOOVEN

Our review of popular parenting guides also revealed that the overwhelming majority of these
parenting guides are based on obtaining and maintaining child discipline. However, one genre of
parenting guides focuses on children' s emotions and on how to make immediate and everyday
emotional connections with a child that are not criticai and contemptuous, but ac- cepting. These
kinds of parenting guides can be traced to the seminal influence of one child psychologist: Haim
Ginott (Ginott, 1956, 1971, 1975). Although many psychological systems of thought (e.g.,
attachment theory, psychoanal- yss) have written about the importance of the child' s affect, Redl
(1966) and Ginott both em- phasized intervening with a chld's strong neg- ative emotions while the
child is having the emotions. They also emphasized intervening di- rectly, dealing with the child's
conscious thoughts and actions. This difference was so important, in our view, that it amounted to a
revolution in "how one deals with children," to use Redl's (1966) words.
Our initial interest was in this concept of parents' awareness of their children's emotional lives
and their attempts to make emotional con- nections with their children. This interest led to the
development of our meta-emotion interview (Katz & Gottman, 1986). All the parents were
separately interviewed about their own experi- ence of sadness and anger, their philosophy of
emotional expression and control, and their attitudes and behavior about their children's anger and
sadness. ln our pilot work, we dis- covered a great variety in the emotions, experi- ences,
philosophies, and attitudes that parents had about their own emotions and the emotions of their
children. For example, one pair of par- ents said that they viewed anger as "from the devil," and that
they would not permit them- selves or their children to express anger. Some parents were accepting
of sadness and anger but did not engage in problem solving with their child. Other parents were not
disapproving of anger but, instead, in laissez-fairre fashion, ig- nored anger in their children. Still
other parents encouraged the expression and exploration of anger. There was similar variation with
respect to sadness. Some parents minimized sadness in themselves and in their children, saying such
things as, "I can't afford to be sad," or "What does a child have to be sad about?" Other par- ents
thought that emotions like sadness in their children were opportunities for intimacy, that sadness
was important information that some- thing was missing in one's life.

This area of meta-emotion is probably char- acterized by great variability even in laboratory
experiments that elicit emotions. Researchers have reported large variability in results from
laboratory experiments designed to elicit emo- tion, such as the startle response. Ekman, Friesen,
and Simons (1985) reported a consis- tent set of responses across participants to being startled, but
there were huge individual differ- ences in the emotional response to having been startled, that is,
in people's meta-emotions to the startle; Levenson and Sutton (personal com- munication, June 15,
1994) reported a similar set of results. Meta-emotion may be a pervasive and understudied
dimension in emotion re- search.

An Emotion-Coaching Meta-Emotion Philosophy


ln our pilot work, we noticed that there are some parents who are aware of the emotions in their
lives (particularly the negative emotions), who can talk about those emotions in a differ- entiated
manner, who are aware of these emo- tions in their children, and who assist their children with
their emotions of anger and sad- ness, acting like an emotion coach. This is a parental meta-
emotion philosophy we call an emotion-coaching philosophy. We found that an emotion-coaching
meta-emotion philosophy had five components: parents (a) said that they were aware of low
intensity emotions in them- selves and in their children; (b) viewed the child's negative emotion as
an opportunity for intimacy or teaching; (c) validated their child's emotion; (d) assisted the child in
verbally label- ing the child's emotions; and (e) problem solved with the child, setting behavioral
limits, and discussing goals and strategies for dealing with the situation that led to the negative
emotion. We hypothesized that these parents have a greater ability than other parents to maneuver
in the world of emotions, that they are more com- fortable with the world of emotions, and that
they are better able to regulate emotions. We expected them to be more affectionate with their
children and less autocratic than other parents. However, it was our observation that an emotion-
coaching meta-emotion philosophy was different from parental warmth, and we
META-EMOTION 245

tested this notion in the current study. Very concemed, generally positive and wann parents can be
oblivious to the world of emotion, and an emotion-coaching meta-emotion philosophy is something
additional that these parents bring to their roles as parents. Perhaps wannth and lmit setting are
correlated with these meta-emotion variables, but we think that they are not the sarne dimensions of
parenting.
ln contrast, we found that a dismissing meta- emotion philosophy was one in which parents felt
that the child's sadness or anger were po- tentially hannful to the child, that it was the parents' job to
change these toxic negative emo- tions as quickly as possible, that the child needed to realize that
these negative emotions would not last and were not very important, and that it was the parent's job
to convey to the child a sense that he or she could ride out these negative emotions without damage.
We found that emotion-dismissing families could be sen- sitive to their children's feelings and
wanted to be helpful, but their approach to sadness, for example, was to ignore or deny it as much as
possible. Often they perceived a child's strong emotion as a demand that they fix everything and
make it better. These parents hoped that the dismissing strategy would make the emotion go away
quickly. They often conveyed a sense that the child's emotion was something they may have been
forced to deal with, but it was not interesting or worthy of attention in itself. They described sadness
as something to get over, ride out, but look beyond and not dwell on. They often used distractions
when their child was sad to move the child along, and they even used comfort, but within specified
time limits, as if they were impatient with the negative emotion itself. They preferred a happy child
and often found these negative states in their child quite painful. They dd not present an insightful
de- scription of their child's emotional experience and dd not help the child with problem solving.
They did not see the emotion as beneficial or as any kind of opportunity, either for intimacy or for
teaching. Many dismissing families saw ther child's anger (without misbehavior) as enough cause
for punishment or a Time Out.
It is important to point out that the term meta-emotion is being used n its broadest sense.
Metacommunication is communication about communication, and metacognition is cognition about
cognition. Meta-emotion in the narrow sense might refer to emotions about emotion; for
example, we might only be study- ing how parents feel about getting angry at their children (e.g.,
feel guilty about getting angry). However, we use the term broadly to encom- pass feelings and
thoughts about emotion. As the examples just provided suggest, the con- struct being tapped
involves parents' feelings and thoughts about their own and their chil- dren's emotions, their
responses to their child's emotions, and their reasoning about these re- sponses (i.e., what the parent
is trying to teach the child when responding to the child's anger). This broader construct indexes a
fundamental attitude or approach to emotion. For some peo- ple, emotions are a welcome and
enriching part of their lives; they believe, in a fundamental way, that it is OK to have feelings.
However, for other people, emotions are to be avoided and minmized; the world of negative
emotions is seen as dangerous (see Appendix).

Meta-Emotion and Parenting


From a theoretical standpoint, we think our measures of parental meta-emotion philosophy are
embedded within a web of measures that tap parent-child interaction. We expect that par- ents'
meta-emoton philosophy is not indepen- dent of their parenting. Hence, in our theoretical model,
we include meta-emotion variables along with parenting variables. It is our view that we need to
be specific about our description of parenting; for heuristic purposes (within the restricted range of
families in our samples), we discuss three dimensons of parenting behav- iors.
First, we started with everyday, mundane negativty. Inherent in the literature on parent- ing is
the idea that small things in everyday parenting can be quite harmful for children (or serve as
indexes of more harmful types of par- enting), akin to what J. Reid has called "natter- ing" (see
Patterson, 1982). Ginott (1965) wrote strongly about this in bis discussion of the im- portance of
(a) understanding and validating the child's emotions and (b) avoiding contempt and disapproval.
Thus, in our measurement of this negativity n our laboratory-based parent-chld interactions, we
included three variables: paren- tal intrusiveness, criticsm, and mockery. We call ths type of
parentng derogatory. ln a teaching task, as some of the parents in our laboratory instructed their
children, they mixed
246 GOTTMAN, KATZ, ANO HOOVEN

in a blend of frustration, taking over for the child as soon as the child had trouble with the task
(which we call intrusiveness), using criti- cism and derisive humor (mockery, humiliation,
belittlement of the child). We think that this dimension of parenting represents the microso- cial
processes characteristic of parental rejec- tion (e.g., Whitbeck, Hoyt, Simons, & Conger, 1992).

Next, we also wished to measure two kinds of positive parenting. The first is the kind of warmth
that Baumrind (1967, 1971) and others described: We refer to this dimension of posi- tive parenting
as warmth. Following C. P. Cowan and P. A. Cowan (1992), we include in this dimension of
warmth co-warmth, which ncludes warmth between parents while inter- acting with the child. Our
second dimension of positive parenting involves a positive structur- ing, responsive, enthusiastic,
engaged, and af- fectionate parenting during the teaching task in our laboratory. This type of
positive parental response goes beyond warmth. lt includes the responsive style that attachment
theorists have identified, but it is more complex than that. We call it scaffolding-praising (on the
general scaf- folding concept, see Choi, 1993; Kirchner, 1991; Pratt, Kerig, Cowan, & Cowan,
1988; and Vygotsky, 1987). From watching and codng the videotapes, we notced that this is a
dimen- sion quite different from Baumrind' s authorita- tive parenting. Parents high on the
scaffolding- praising dimension provided structure for the task, stating the goals and procedures of
the game simply, in a relaxed manner, and with low information density; they then waited for their
child to act and commented primarily when the child did something right, acting like a cheering
section at a football game, giving prase and approval. Parents low on this scaffolding -prais- ing
dimension either provided little structure for the learning situation for their children, or they gave
information rapidly, with high density, and enthusiastically, appearing to excite and con- fuse the
child; such parents then waited to com- ment until their child had made a mistake. These parents
were then usually criticai of the child's performance.

Are the concepts of meta-emotion and emo- tion coaching simply subdimensions of positive
parenting? We think not; we think that they add to current concepts in the parenting literature and
are more general. Emotion coaching is one reasou why the parenting advice literature is, in our
view, far richer than the parenting research literature. For example, what would we predict that an
authoritative parent would do (or rec- ommend that he or she should do) when bis or her child has
just had a nightmare? Being warm and structuring provides no real guidelines. Emotion coaching
does provide these guide- lines.
What is the expected relationship between meta-emotion and the derogation, warmth, and
scaffolding-praising dimensions? When we be- gan this study, we had two working hypotheses.
The first hypothesis was that a coaching meta- emotion philosophy might be nested within a web
of positive parenting. We proposed that an emotion-coaching meta-emotion philosophy en- tails
parenting that goes a step beyond the dea of warmth; that is, we suggested that it entails
scaffolding-praising parenting. Toe second hy- pothesis was that meta-emotion performs its major
function by nhibiting parental deroga- tion; in particular, as Ginott (1965) noted, we proposed that
understanding and validating the child's emotions serves to avoid criticism, con- tempt, and
disapproval of the child. Most of the examples from Ginott's books had to do with the mportance
of emotion coaching in avoding escalating negativity, frustration, disapproval, and emotional
distance between parents and children. It appears to have been first suggested foremost as a
mechanism for obtaining exten- sive relief from spiraling negativity: Perhaps validating the child's
affect serves as an oppo- nent process to derogation. Hence, t was en- trely reasonable to
hypothesize that the major effect of a coaching meta-emoton philosophy would be inhibtng
parental negativity and that it might have no effect on positive parenting.

Meta-Emotion and the Development of Emotion Regulation Abilities


Precisely how do we think that meta- emotons affect the functioning of families and act to
affect child outcomes? What do we pro- pose as the mechanism? We are particularly drawn to
theories that attempt to integrate be- havior and physiology, and our theorizing is oriented toward
approaches that have empha- sized the importance of (a) the development of children's abilities in
the regulation of emotion (Garber & Dodge, 1991) and (b) the develop- ment of children's abilitie s
to self-soothe strong
META-EMOTION 247

and potentially disruptive emotional states (Dunn, 1977), focus attention, and organize themselves
for coordinated action in the service of some goal. We think that these general sets of abilties
underlie the development of other com- petencies. We are especially interested in chil- dren' s peer
social skills, particular!y because of their predictive validity (Parker & Asher, 1987). Central peer
social competencies include the ability to resolve conflict, to find a sustained common ground play
activity, to compromise in play, and to empathize with a peer in distress (e.g., see Asher & Coie,
1990; Gottman, 1983; Gottman & Parker, 1986).
We suggest that fundamental to these abilities is the ability to soothe one's self physiologically
and to focus attention. These abilities underlie being able to listen to what one's playmate is saying,
being able to take another's role and empathize, and being able to engage in social problem solvi ng.
They involve the child know- ing something about the world of emotion, both his or her own and
others'. We propose that this knowledge arises only out of emotional connec- tion being important in
the home. ln the follow- ing section, we briefly revew our reasons for measuring chld physology
as related to the construct of emotion regulation.

Regulatory Physiology1
We used Porges' (1984) suggestion that there may be a physiological basis for the ability t o
regulate emotion. To explain his notions, we discuss two concepts related to the child's para-
sympathetic nervous system (PNS) physology. The major nerve of the PNS is called the vagus
nerve. The vagus nerve (so called because it is the vagabond nerve that traveis throughout the body,
nnervating the viscera) is the X-th cranial nerve. The tonic firing of the vagus nerve slows down
many physiological processes, such as the heart rate. Research by Porges and his col- leagues on the
PNS has indicated a strong as- sociation between high vagai tone and good attentional abilities, and
there is speculation that these processes are related to emotion regula- tion abilities. Porges (1992)
reviewed evidence that suggests that a chld's baselne vagai tone is related to the child's capacity to
react to env- ronmental stimuli. There is a substantial body of literature showing that basal vagai
tone is re- lated to both greater behavioral reactivity and greater soothability; it is also related to
greater ability to focus attention and greater ability to self-soothe and explore novel stimuli
(DiPietro & Porges, 1991; Fox, 1989; Hotbeimer & Law- son, 1988; Huffman, Bryan, Pederson, &
Porges, 1988; Linnemeyer & Porges, 1986; Por- ter, Porges, & Marshall, 1988; Richards, 1985,
1987; Stifter & Fox, 1990; Stifter, Fox, & Porges, 1989).

There is also another dimension of vagai tone that needs to be considered, namely, the ability to
suppress vagai tone. ln general, vagai tone is suppressed during states that require focused or
sustained attention, mental effort, attention to relevant information, emotional interaction, and
organized responses to stress. Thus, the child's ability to perform a transitory suppression of vagai
tone in response to environmental (and particularly emotional) demands is another n- dex that
needs to be added to the child regula- tory physiology construct. 2 lt relates to the like- lihood of
approach rather than withdrawal; some infants with a high vagai tone who were unable to suppress
vagal tone in attention- demanding tasks exhibited other regulatory dis- orders (e.g., sleep
disorders; Huffman, Bryan, Pederson, & Porges, 1992; Porges, Walter, Korb, & Sprague, 1975).
Porges, Doussard- Roosevelt, and Portales (1992) found that 9-month-old infants who had lower
baseline vagal tone and less vagal tone suppression dur- ing the Bailey examination had the
greatest behavioral problems at 3 years of age, as mea- sured by the Achenbach and Edelbrock
(1986) Child Behavior Checklist. Measures of infant

1 We did not include the sympathetic portion of the child's physiology in our modeling. However, we did

find that the child's concentration of adrenaline in the 24-hr urine sample at age 5 correlated (r = 0.39, p <
.001) with the child's illness at age 8.
2 We hypothesize that basal vagai tone is related to the child's ability to sustain attention, whereas the ability

to suppress vagai tone is related to the child's ability to shift attention when that is called for. Porges and
Doussard-Roosevelt (in press) pointed out that one must be cautious about expecting the suppression of vagai
tone to always be the appropri- ate vagai response to externai demands. ln the neo- natal intensive care unit,
the appropriate response to gavage feeding tumed out to be increases in vagai tone, consistent with the support
of digestive pro- cesses (DiPietro & Porges, 1991). Premature infants who increased vagai tone during gavage
feeding had significantly shorter hospitalizations.
248 GOTTMAN, KATZ, AND HOOVEN

temperament derived from maternal reports (Bates, 1980) were not related to the 3-year outcome
measures.3

The Theoretical Challenge in Predicting Peer Social Competence in Middle Childhood


From Emotion-Coaching Interactions
A major goal of our research was to predict peer social relations in middle childhood from
variables descriptive of the family's emotional life in preschool. It is now well known that the ability
to interact successfully with peers and to form lasting peer relationships are important
developmental tasks. Children who fail at these tasks, especially in the making of friends, are at risk
for a number of later problems (Parker & Asher, 1987). The peer context presents new opportunities
and formidable challenges to chil- dren. lnteracting with peers provides opportuni- ties to leam
about more egalitarian relation- ships, to form friendships with agemates, to negotiate conflicts, to
engage in cooperative and competitive activities, and to leam appropriate limits for aggressive
impulses. On the other hand, children are typically less supportive than caregivers when their peers
fail at these tasks. ln our research, we have found that the quality of the child's peer relationships
forros an impor- tant class of child outcome measures.
We should explain what the theoretical chal- lenge is in predicting peer social relations across
these two major developmental periods, from preschool to middle childhood. Major c hanges occur
in peer relations in middle childhood. Children become aware of a much wider social network than
the dyad. ln preschool, children are rarely capable of sustaining play with more than one other child
(e.g., see Corsaro, 1979, 1981). However, in middle childhood, children become aware of peer
norrns for social accep- tance, and teasing and avoiding embarrassment suddenly emerge (see
Gottman & Parker, 1986). Children become aware of clique struc- tures and of influence pattems as
well as social acceptance. The correlates of peer acceptance and rejection change dramatically,
particularly with respect to the expression of emotion. One of the most interesting changes is that
the so- cially competent response to a number of salient social situations, such as peer entry and
teasing, is to be a good observer who is somewhat wary, "cool," and emotionally unflappable (see
Gott- man & Parker, 1986). lt is well known that the worst thing a middle-childhood child can do
when entering a group of peers is to start talking about his or her own feelings as parents and
children do in an emotion-coaching interaction. Thus, the basic elements and skills a child leams
through emotion coaching (labeling, ex- pressing one's feelings, talking about one's feelings, and
drawing attention to one's selt) become liabilities in the peer social world in middle childhood.
Therefore, the basic model linking emotion coaching in preschool to peer relations in middle
childhood cannot be a sim- pie isomorphic transfer of social skills model. lnstead, it becomes
necessary to identify a mechanism that makes it possible for the child to leam something in the
preschool period that underlies the development of appropriate social skills across this major
developmental shift in what constitutes social competence with peers, the development in the child
of what Salovey & Mayer (1990) and Goleman (1995) called "emotional intelligence," a kind of
"social moxie." A number of researchers are addressing concepts related to this idea of the child's
de- veloping social intelligence, such as the child's developing ability to cope with stress (Saami,
1993), the child's emotional competence (Den- ham, Renwick, & Hewes, 1994), the child's
developing empathy (Eisenberg & Fabes, 1990; Eisenberg & Strayer, 1987), the child's devel- oping
social understanding (Denham, Zoller, & Couchoud, 1994; Dunn & Brown, 1994), the child's
developing social and emotional compe- tence and regulation as well as the child's de- veloping
theory of social mind (Casey & Fuller, 1994; Fox, 1994; Harris & Kavanaugh, 1993; Thompson,
1991), and the child's ability to recognize emotional expressions (Cassidy, Parke, & Butkovsky,
1992; Walden, 1988).

3 Time 1 and Time 2 down regulation scales cor- related 0.41, p = .003. The Time 1 down regulation scale
was unrelated to awareness and coaching, but it
correlated .31 (p = .020) with derogation, .44 (p =
.004) with Time 2 child negative affect, and 0.59 (p < .001) with Time 2 teacher ratings of negative peer
relations. It was unrelated to scaffolding- praising parenting, to basal vagal tone, or to suppres- sion of vagal
tone.
META-EMOTION 249

The Theoretical Model: Hypotheses About Meta-Emotion, Parenting, Regulatory


Physiology, and Child Outcomes
ln building our theoretical model, we sought to explain how meta-emotion philosophy might be
related to a variety of child outcomes. The theoretical model is depicted in Figure 1. Given the
hypothesized effects of parental meta- emotion philosophy on parenting skills, we ex- pected that
some effects would occur through parenting practices. To be specific, we hypoth- esized that the
emotion-coaching meta-emotion philosophy would be related to scaffolding- praising and to the
inhibition of parental dero- gation. We also expected meta-emotion philos- ophy, high scaffolding-
praising, and low derogation to be related to superior emotion regulation abilities (as indexed by
PNS func- tioning and parental report). We also asked whether effects between child physiology
and emotion coaching were bidirectional and whether our effects varied with child tempera- ment.
One concem with these results was whether parents were coaching their children differentially as a
function of the children's temperament.
We also proposed that there would be a rela- tionship between the parents' meta-emotion
coaching philosophy anda variety of child out- comes. We hypothesized that a parental meta-
emotion coaching philosophy would be related to the child's developing social competence with
other children. We expected that the child's peer social competence would hold in the inhibition
of negative affect (Guralnick, 1981), particularly negativity such as aggres- sion, whining,
oppositional behavior, fighting requiring parental intervention, sadness, and anxiety with peers. We
also expected that an emotion-coaching meta-emotion philosophy would predict the development of
superior cog- nitive skills of the child (through superior vagai tone and greater ability to focus
attention). We predicted that the relationship between the par- ents' meta-emotion philosophy and
the child's achievement at age 8 years would hold over and above preschool measures of
intelligence. Thus, we predicted that two preschool children of equal intelligence would differ, in
part, in their ultimate achievement in school as a function of the parents' meta-emotion philosophy.
Finally, we examined the child's physical health as an outcome variable. Because the vagus
innervates the thymus gland (Bulloch & Moore, 1981; Bulloch & Pomerantz, 1984; Magni, Bruschi,
& Kasti, 1987; Nance, Hopkins, & Bieger, 1987), a central part of the immune system that is
involved in the production of T-cells, we also expected that basal vagai tone would be related to
better child physical health. Toe path models also tested direct effects of meta-emotion, which are
theoretically unexplained by the model.
We recognize that our correlational studies could not provide us with a causal understand- ing of
the theoretical pathways we proposed. However, we expected the correlational data to yield results
consistent with or disconfirming these causal models, thereby suggesting some directions for
future research.

Direct Pathway

Child Emotion
Regulation Abilities

Figure 1. Summary model for how parental meta-emotion might influence child outcomes.
250 GOITMAN, KATZ, AND HOOVEN

Method
An abbreviated set of procedures is presented in this article in the interests of conserving space. See Gottman
and Katz (1989) and Katz and Gottman (1993) for more detail.

Participants
Fifty-six normal families were recruited from the Champaign-Urbana, Illinois, community for this study; 24
of the families had a male and 32 a female 4- to 5-year-old child. We used a telephone version of the Locke-
Wallace marital satisfaction scale (Krokoff, 1984) to ensure that our study included couples with wide range of
marital satisfaction levels. The mean marital satisfaction score was 111.1 (SD = 29.6). Three years later, we
recontacted 53 of the 56 families (94.6% of the original sample).

Procedure
The procedure involved laboratory sessions and home interviews for both parents and children. We used a
combination of naturalistic interaction, highly structured tasks, and semistructured interviews. Home and
laboratory visits consisted of two home visits-one with the marital couple and one with the child-and three
laboratory visits-one with the cou- ple only, one wth the couple and ther 4 to 5-year-old child, and one with
the child alone. Families were seen at Time 1, when children were 4-5 years old, and agan three years later at
Time 2, when children were on average 8 years old.

Time 1
Assessment
Meta-emotion interview. All parents were sepa- rately interviewed about their own experience of sad- ness
and anger; their philosophy of emotional expres- sion and control; and their feelings, attitudes, and behavior
about their children's anger and sadness (Katz & Gottman, 1986). Their behavior during this interview was
audiotaped. A script for this semistruc- tured interview is available from John M. Gottman or Lynn Fainsilber
Katz.
Parent-child interaction. Toe parent-child inter- action session consisted of a modification of two
procedures used by P. A. Cowan and C. P. Cowan (1987). ln the first task, parents were asked to obtain
information from their child. The parents were in- formed that the child had heard a story, and they were asked
to find out what the story was. Toe story that the children heard did not follow normal story gram- mar and was
read in a monotone voice; thus, the story was only mildly interesting for the children and hard to recall. The
second task involved teaching the child how to play an Atari game that the parents had learned to play while
the child was hearing the story. The interaction lasted 10 min.
Children's film viewing. During a second visit to the laboratory, children were shown segments of
emotion-eliciting films. Our main interest was to obtain indexes of physiological activty during emo- tional
and nonemotional events. Each film clp was preceded by a neutral story and an emotion induction film clip of
an actress who acted out the emotions of the protagonist in the upcoming story. Toe function of the emotion
induction was to direct the child to identify wth the protagonst and experience the spe- cific emotion in
question. Although each film clip was designed to elicit a specific emotion, the emotion elicitation was not
very successful; instead, we ob- tained a range of facial expressons of emotion during in each film. Hence, we
refer to the films by their titles instead of by the emotion they were intended to induce. The child viewed clips
from six films: (a) Fly fishing; (b) Wizard of Oz (Leroy & Flemming, 1939), flying monkey scene; (e)
Charlotte's Web (Barbara, Nicolas, & Takamoto, 1973), Charlotte dies; (d) Meaning of Life (Goldstone &
Gilliam, 1983), res- taurant scene; (e) Wizard of Oz, taking Toto away; and (f) Daisy (Alcroft & Mitton,
1984).
Child's physiological functioning. We assessed the following physiological variables from the child under
baseline conditions, during parent-child inter- action, and during film-viewing:
1. Cardiac interbeat interval (IBI). This measure was determined by measuring the time interval be- tween
successive spikes (R-waves) of the electrocar- diogram (EKG).
2. Pulse transmission time to the finger (PIT-F). This was a measure of the elapsed time between the R-
wave of the EKG and the arrival of the pulse wave at the finger.
3. Finger pulse amplitude (FPA). This was an estimate of the relative volume of blood reaching the finger
on each heart beat.
4. Skin conductance leve! (SCL). This measure was sensitive to changes in leveis of sweat in the eccrine
sweat glands located in the hand.
5. General somatic activity (ACT). To measure somatic activity, the particpant's chair was mounted on a
platform that was coupled to a rigid base in such a way as to allow an imperceptible amount offlexng. Child
intelligence. Toe Wechsler Preschool Scales of Intelligence (WPPSI; Wechsler, 1974)
Block Design, Picture Completion, and Information subscales were administered to each child.

Measure and Coding


Meta-emotion coding system. The audiotapes of the meta-emotion interview were coded using a spe-
META-EMOTION 251
cific checklist rating system that codes for parents' awareness of their own anger and sadness, ther own
regulation of anger and sadness, and their acceptance and assistance (coaching) with ther child's anger and
sadness (Hooven, 1994). For each dimension, the coding manual was quite detailed and specific. The
Awareness score was a sum of 12 subscales: experi- encing the emotion; being able to distinguish the emotion
from others; having various experiences with the emotion; being descriptive of the experience of the
emotion; beng descriptive of the physcal sensations connected with this emotion; being de- scriptive of the
cognitive processes connected with this emotion; providing a descriptive anecdote; knowing the causes of the
emotion; being aware of remediation processes; answering questions about the emotion easily, without
hesitation or confusion; talk- ing at length about this emotion; and showing interest or excitement about this
emotion. Coaching was a sum of 11 scales: showing respect for the child's experience of the emotion, talking
about the situation and the emotion when the child is upset, intervening in situations that give rise to the
emotion, comforting the child, teaching the child roles for appropriate expression of the emotion, educating
the child about the nature of this emotion, teaching the child strate- gies to soothe the child's own emotion,
being in- volved in the child's experience ofthe emotion, feel- ing confident about how to deal with this
emotion, having given thought and energy to the emotion and what one wants the child to know about this
emotion (goals), and using strategies that are age and situation appropriate. Because coders used rating scales,
the appropriate statistics to use for computing interrater relabilty were correlations between independent ob-
servers for each scale, rather than Cohen's kappa, which is appropriate for categorical data. The range of
interobserver reliabilities for the awareness and coaching scales was O.73 to 0.86.

Observational coding of parent-child interaction. Parenting was coded using the Cowans' Observa- tional
System, the Kahen Engagement Coding Sys- tem (KECS), and the Kahen Affect Coding Systems (KACS;
Gottman, in press). The KECS consists of seven parental engagement codes, including three positive, three
negative, and one neutral code. The three Kahen positive engagement codes are as fol- lows: (a) Engaged,
which consisted of parental atten- tion toward the child; (b) Positive Directiveness, in which parents issued a
directive statement that began in a positive way (e.g., "move to your right"); and (c) Responds to Child's
Needs, in which parents re- sponded to a child's question or complaint. The three negative engagement codes
are as follows: (a) Dis- engaged, in which parents were not attending to the child; (b) Negative Directiveness,
in which parents issued a directve statement that began in a negative way (e.g., "Don't move around so
much"); and (c) Intrusiveness, which involved physical interference with the child's actions (e.g., grabbing the
joy stick). The KACS also consists of seven parental affect codes. The three positive affect codes are as
follows:

(a) Affection, which consisted of praise and physical affection; (b) Enthusiasm, which was coded as prais-
ing and excitement at the child's performance; and
(c) Humor, whch involved parental laughter or jok- ing. Toe three negative affect codes are as follows:
(a) Criticism, which involved direct disparaging comments or put-downs of the child's behavior or
performance; (b) Anger, in which parents were visi- bly frustrated by the child's actions or demonstrated
disappointment, annoyance, or irritation toward the child; (c) Derisive Humor, in which parents used humor
at the child's expense (e.g., through sarcasm or by making fun of the child).

Parent-child interaction was coded continuously in real time with coding synchronized to the original
parent-child interaction. The total number of times each variable occurred in the 10-min parent-child
interaction session was recorded and totais across time were calculated for each of the 14 parent-child
interaction variables. This ndex was therefore an estimate of the frequency of the parenting behavior within
a 10-rnin period. Independent observers coded mothers and fathers. Engagement and affect dimen- sions
were also coded by independent observers. Reliability was calculated across coders using a cor- relation
coefficient. Because total number of seconds within each parent code was the variable computed and used in
all data analyses, the appropriate reliabil- ity statistic was a correlation coefficient, rather than Cohen's kappa
or percentage agreement. For the KECS, the mean correlation was .96, with a range of .86 to .99; for the
KACS, the mean correlation was .93, with a range of .84 to .97. We computed the sum of derisive humor,
intrusiveness, and criticism for both parents to form our derogation variable. The Kahen systems were also
used to measure the scaffolding-praising dimension, which consisted of parental affection, engagement,
positive structuring, responsiveness, and enthusiasm; we computed the sum of these variables across parents.
Although it is certainly reasonable to expect to find differental effects of mothers and fathers on chldren and
we have evidence that maternal and paternal parenting were uncorrelated (the correlation between mother
and father derogation was .21 and was .12 between mother and father scaffolding-praising), we summed
across parents' scores for the sake of economy. The scaffolding-praising dimension differs from Baum- rind'
s authoritative parenting in that it includes a responsve and enthusiastic parenting style; in the teaching task,
this was reflected in parents' (a) effec- tively structuring and scaffolding the child's learning and (b) generally
waiting until the child did some- thing right and then praising enthusiastically, rather 252
GOITMAN, KATZ, ANO HOOVEN
than waiting until the child made a mistake and then being critical.
Toe parents' behavior during the parent-child in- teraction was also coded using P. A. Cowan and C. P.
Cowan's (1987) coding system. This codng system codes parents behavior on dimensions of warmth- coldness,
presence or lack of structure and limit set- ting, whether or not parents back down when their child is
noncompliant, anger and displeasure, unre- sponsveness or responsiveness, and whether or not parent s make
maturity demands of their child. The behavior of parents toward each other during ther interactions with their
child (their coparenting) was also coded on dimensions of warmth, cooperation or competition, anger,
disagreement, responsiveness, pleasure in coparenting, clarity of communication, and amount of interaction. For
the purposes of this study, only the warmth dimension (parenting and coparenting) was of interest. For the
parenting di- mension, coders rated the overall degree of warmth and the highest levei of warmth and coldness
exhib- ited by each parent. For the coparenting dimension, coders rated the overall degree of warmth and the
highest level of warmth and coldness exhibited by the couple toward each other. Warmth was defined as the sum
of all the warmth variables minus the sum of all the coldness variables. Interreliability for the warmth variable
was .64.

Child regulatory physiology. An estimate of the child's baseline vagal tone was taken when the child was
listening to the introduction to an interesting story taken from an animated cartoon film (clip from Charlotte 's
Web), a variable we called basal vagai. Toe child's ability to withdraw vagal tone was esti- mated as a
difference between this estimate of basal vagal tone and the child's vagai tone during an ex- citing film clip
designed to elicit strong emotion (the scene from The Wizard of Oz when the flying mon- keys kidnap
Dorothy). We expected vagal tone to be withdrawn and heart rate to increase when the child was emotionally
engaged with the fearful stimuli in this second film clip. We called ths second variable delta vagai. Ths second
variable ndexed the child' s abilty to suppress vagal tone when engaging wth a strong emotional stimulus that
included an environ- mental demand for changing attentional focus or reg- ulating emotion. ln this case, the
engagement wth the environment nvolved the demands for an emo- tional response being elicited by the
emotional film as well as the demands to focus attention on the Atari videogame the child played immediately
after each film clip. The ndex of vagal tone was computed as the amount of variance in the cardiac interbeat
inter- val spectrum that was within the child's respiratory range using spectral time-series analysis. This ndex of
vagal tone measures respiratory sinus arrhythmia, a measure of PNS tonus, which has been found to index
attentional processes and emotion regulation abilities (Porges, 1984). Mean levels of interbeat
interval at baseline, interbeat interval variability (a measure of vagal tone; Izard, Porges, Simons, & Haynes,
1991), reactivity of heart rate variability from baseline to the mean of the parent-child inter- action (used as an
index of the child's ability to modulate vagal tone by DiPietro, Porges, & Uhly, 1992), and mean skin
conductance level during base- line (first visit to the lab) were also computed as indexes of the amount of the
child's chronic physio- logical arousal and PNS functioning.

Time 2

Assessment
Overview. Time 2 assessment consisted of teacher ratings of child outcomes and couple's re- ports of
considerations of marital dissolution. Fami- lies were recontacted 3 years later for follow-up assessments of
child and marital outcomes. Children were, on average, 8 years old (M = 96.9 months; range= 82-110 months).
Ninety-five percent (53 out of 56) of the families in the initial sample and 86% (48 out of 56) of the children's
teachers at follow-up agreed to participate in the Time 2 assessments.
Ratings of children's behavior problems.
Teachers completed the Child Adaptive Behavior Inventory (CABI; P. A. Cowan & C. P. Cowan, 1990). We
used the CABI as a measure of child outcomes for two reasons. First, the CABI was de- veloped on a normal
sample and contains subscales that are less pathological in nature than the Child Behavior Checklist
(Achenbach & Edelbrock, 1986). Second, the CABI also controls for teacher rating bias by having teachers
complete the scale on all same-sexed children in the classroom and deriving z scores for the target child. The
CABI has good inter- nal consistency (average alpha = .81; range= .66 to
.90) and predictive validity (P. A. Cowan & Cowan, 1990). The factors and subscales that comprise the CABI
include the following: (a) the Antisocial Fac- tor, which consists of the Hyperactivity, Antisocial Behavior,
Negative Engagement with Peers, Hostil- ity, Fairness-Responsiblity (keyed negatively), Caim Response to
Challenge (keyed negatively), and Kindness-Empathy (keyed negatively) subscales; and (b) the Internalizng
Factor, which consists of the Introversion, Depression, Victim-Rejected, Tension, and Extroversion (keyed
negatively) subscales.
Differential Emotions Scale. We used the Differ- ential Emotions Scale (lzard, 1982) as a measure of
temperament, given Goldsmith and Campos' (1982) definition of temperament in terms of affect expres- sion
(for a review and critique, see Bates, 1987). Toe Differential Emotions Scale is a 36-item question- naire that
mothers complete with regard to the fre- quency with which they have observed their children display specific
emotions in the past week. Each item
META-EMOTION 253

is rated on a 5-point scale ranging from 1 (rarely or never) to 5 (very often). We computed the total number of
emotions and the total number of positive and negative emotions for the week.
Teacher ratings of peer aggression. Teachers also completed the Dodge Peer Aggression Scale (Dodge,
1986). Toe Dodge Peer Aggression scale consists of items that measure the degree to which the child uses overt
aggression with peers.
Chi/d academic achievement. Children were in-
dividually administered the Peabody Individual Achievement Test-Revised (PIAT-R) as a measure of
academic achievement (e.g., see Costenbader & Adams, 1991). They were administered the mathe- matics,
reading recognition, reading comprehension, and general information tests.
Emotion regulation questionnaire. Mothers filled
out a newly developed 45-item questionnaire about the degree to which their child requires externai regulation
of emotion (Katz & Gottman, 1986). This questionnaire includes items that reflect instances when the parent
needs to down regulate the child to reduce the child's levei of activity, inappropriate behavior, and misconduct.
Toe alpha coefficient for the scale was .74.
Chi/d physical health. Child illness was assessed
by parental report using a version of the Rand Cor- poration Health Insurance Study measures (available from
John M. Gottman or Lynn Fainsilber Katz; see Gottman & Katz, 1989). Toe following Likert or true-false items
were summed: "ln general, would you say that this child's health is excellent, good, fair or poor?," 'Toe child's
health is excellent," "Toe child seems to resist illness very well," "When some- thing is going around this child
usually catches it," "This child has had a nosebleed in the past 30 days"
(alpha = 0.82).

Results
We begin by discussing the selection and validity of variables used for building the theo-
retical model. Toe reduced set of variables used
ment at Time 2, even controlling for Time 1 child intelligence.

Selection and Validity of Key Theoretical Variables


Reduced Set of Meta-Emotion Variables
ln the interest of parsimony, we needed to cut down the choice of variables for the modeling,
and it was thus necessary to limit the number of meta-emotion variables. We started with 12
variables (awareness of own emotion, aware- ness of the child's emotion, and coaching, for father
and mother and for sadness and anger). Two variables from this set of 12 were con- structed, one
of which was the sum of parental awareness of the parents' own emotions and the sum of the
parents' awareness of the child's emotions and the other of which was the sum of the parental
coaching of the child's emotions. Table 1 gives a summary of the correlations of these two
summary meta-emotion variables (i.e., awareness and coaching) with the original 12 meta-
emotion variables that were obtained. Therefore, it is a presentation of item-total cor- relations that
demonstrate the internai construct validity of the summary codes. These correla- tions show that
the two variables we constructed are related to all the individual awareness and coaching variables.

Table 1
Correlations of the Two Summary Meta- Emotion Variables With Original 12 Variables
Original meta-
emotion variables Awareness Coaching

to ndex meta-emotion philosophy are pre- sented, and we address the construct validity of the
derogatory parenting and scaffolding- praising variables by indicating that derogatory parenting is
not anger and that scaffolding- praising parenting is not warmth. We then present the results of our
path-analytic model- ing, looking separately at models related to pa- rental derogation and to
parental scaffolding- praismg. We also test the temperament hypothesis to see whether parents
select their parenting style to be consistent with the child's behavior. Finally, we review the
result that
Father sadness Awareness own Awareness child Coaching
Father anger Awareness own Awareness child Coaching
Mother sadness Awareness own Awareness child Coaching
Mother anger Awareness own Awareness child Coaching
.80*** .55***
.68*** .37**
.26* .63***

.75*** .33**
.69*** .49***
.44*** .74***

.56*** .32**
.66*** .63***
.48*** .72***
.57*** .29*
.64*** .36**
.37** .66***
meta-emotion predicts child academic achieve- * p < .05. ** p < .01. *** p < .001.
254 GOTTMAN, KATZ, AND HOOVEN

Validity of Child Regulatory Physiology


To examine the validity of the vagal tone variables, we correlated baseline vagal tone and
suppression of vagal tone with other indexes of autonornic arousal relating to parasympathetic
activation and general nervous system arousal. As Table 2 shows, baseline vagal tone and
suppression of vagal tone were related to the child's mean heart rate during the parent-child
interaction, to the child's lower resting heart rate during the first visit to the laboratory when it was a
mildly stressful and novel situation, to lower baseline skin conductance during the second visit to
the laboratory after initial adaptation, to higher heart rate variability, and to lower heart rate reactivity
in the parent-child interaction.

Validity of Parenting Variables


Derogatory parenting is not anger. ln de- velopmental psychology today, there is a gen- eral
equation of anger and negativity (see Cum- mings & Davies, 1994), which we consider unfortunate.
When the construct of negative af- fect is broken into specific negative emotions, there is evidence
that specific negative emotions serve different functions. ln marital interaction,

Table 2
Validity of the Two Child Physiology Variables Selected for Model Building
anger is not predictive of marital dissolution, whereas contempt is (Gottman, 1993, 1994;
Gottrnan & K.rokoff, 1989; Gottman & Leven- son, 1992). Ginott (1965) distinguished anger
versus emotional interactions with the child that communicated contempt for the child, global
versus specific criticism, and criticism versus blaming or communications suggesting that the child
was incornpetent. He suggested that the latter cornmunications are harrnful to a child, whereas
anger is not and rnay even be healthy. To deal with a tendency to overgeneralize and conclude that
anger is harrnful for children, we selected the parental derogation codes from the Kahen Coding
Systems, which were designed to measure Ginott's cluster of negative parenting; derogation is not
the sarne as anger parents express toward children. We tested this specif- ically by Iooking at the
relationships between parental anger and derogation. Parental anger
was uncorrelated with our rneasure of parental derogation (for father anger, r = - .11; for mother
anger, r = - .06), uncorrelated with the meta-emotion codes, and uncorrelated with neg-
ative child outcomes.
Scaffolding-praising is not warmth. It is irnportant to emphasize that scaffolding- praising is
not merely a dimension of global positivity, such as is tapped by the Cowan pa- rental warrnth
variable. Correlations computed between the warrnth codes frorn the Cowan system and the
scaffolding-praising code indi- cated that only maternal warrnth was related to
our scaffolding-praising variable (r = .32, p <
Variable Base vagai Delta vagai
Mean heart rate during parent- child
.05). Paternal warmth, maternal and paternal coldness, and co-warrnth all showed no relation to
scaffolding-praising.
interaction Mean heart rate
during first time in the laboratory
Heart rate reactivity in parent--child interaction
Heart rate variability
Skin conductance levei after adaptation to laboratory
-.26* -.40**

-.28* -.33**

-.24* -.30*
.25* .39**

-.37** -.22
Summary of the Seven Dimensions of the Theoretical Model
Aside frorn the outcorne variables, there are seven dirnensions of the theoretical model. The
two meta-emotion variables were derived frorn the rneta-emotion coding systern used to code
the rneta-emotion interview: coaching (a sum of 11 scales) and awareness (a sum of 12 sub-
scales). The two parenting dimensions were ex- tracted from the Kahen observational scales,
Note. Basal vagai child's baseline vagai tone; delta vagai = child's vagai tone when emotionally engaged.
* p < .05. ** p < .OI.
scaffolding-praising (sum of three scales of the KECS-engagement, positive directiveness, and
responsiveness to the child's needs-and two scales of positive affect of the KACS-
META-EMOTION 255

affection-praise and enthusiasm) and deroga- tion (the intrusiveness code of negative engage-
ment on the KECS and criticism and derisive humor of the KACS negative affect codes). The
regulatory physiology dimensions were basal vagal tone (when the child was listening to the
introduction to an interesting story taken from an animated cartoon film, Charlotte's Web) and the
child's ability to suppress vagal tone, which was estimated as a difference between this es- timate
of basal vagal tone and the child's vagal tone during an exciting film clip designed to elicit
strong emotion (the scene from the Wizard of Oz when the flying monkeys kidnap Dor- othy).
The emotion regulation dimension was taken from a questionnaire mothers completed (when
the child was 8 years old) about the degree to which their child required extemal down
regulation of emotion.

Building the Theoretical Model


The basic template for the theoretical model is presented in Figure 2. There are eight con- ceptual
pathways consistent with our theoretical formulation and a direct pathway from meta- emotion to
child outcome. First, we predicted that there would be statistically significant path coefficients from
the meta-emotion variables to the parenting variable (Path 1). This was a va- ldity test to see if the
variables derived from our interview related to actual parenting behav- ior. Second, we tested the
significance of the paths from meta-emotion and parenting to the physiological variables (Paths 2
and 3). We hypothesized that meta-emotion, operating (in part) through parenting, would
significantly af-
fect these physiological variables. That is, we fundamentally believed that these physiological
variables are not entirely engraved in stone, even if they are biological; rather, we believed that
these variables are nilleable and shaped in part by parents through their emotional interac- tions
with the child. These conceptual pathways enable us to assess whether meta-emotion phi- losophy
and parenting in some way are related to the child's regulatory physiology, or, con- versely, if the
child's regulatory physiology is related to meta-emotion philosophy or parent- ing. We also
predicted that there would be sta- tistically significant path coefficients connect- ing the child
physiology variables to the child outcome variables (Path 4), suggesting that the child physiology
at age 5 years predicts child outcome at age 8 years (Path 7). We also pre- dicted the physiological
variables would predict the emotion regulation variable, and that the regulation and the parenting
variables would relate to child outcome (Paths 5 and 8). We predicted that parenting would have a
direct effect on child regulation (Path 6). There may be direct effects between the meta-emotion
vari- ables and the child outcome variables, but, to the extent that this is true, we have not
completely succeeded in our theory, because we will not have had a mechanism to explain these
effects.
ln the interest of data reduction, we created the following four child outcome variables:
1. Child achievement was the sum of the mathematics and reading comprehension scores.
2. Child's emotion regulation abilities was assessed with the Down-Regulation scale of the
Katz-Gottman Emotional Regulation Question-

Direct Pathway

Child Outcomes

Figure 2. Outline of the general expected path structure of the theoretical rnodel.
256 GOTIMAN, KATZ, AND HOOVEN

naire, assessed when the children were 8 years old (called down regulation). Because this is
technically an outcome variable and not a pro- cess variable (because it was measured when the
children were 8 years old), the emotion regulation variable appears in every child out- come model.
3. Child's peer relations was the sum ofthree teacher rating scales: the CABI Negative Peer scale,
the CABI Antisocial Scale, and the Dodge Peer Aggression scale.
4. Chld llness was our health measure at age 8.
We built two sets of theoretical models. Given the hypotheses that meta-emotion philos- ophy
might either be related to the inhibition of parental derogation or the facilitation of scaffolding-
praising parenting, we constructed separate models to examine hypotheses related to derogation and
scaffolding-praising. All modeling computations were performed using Bentler's (1992) computer
program, EQS.

Modeling With Derogatory Parenting


Toe results of our model building are pre- sented in Figures 3, 4, and 5. Toe following are
our goodness-of-fit statistics: for the academic achievement outcome variable, ,x2(14, N =
56) = 13.68, p = .474, Bentler-Bonett normed fit ndex (BBN) = .981; for the peer relations
outcome variable, ,x2(13, N = 56) = 17.95,p =
.159, BBN = .986; for child illness, ,x2(12, N =
56) = 13.04, p = .366, BBN = .987. Hence, all
models fit the data. Multiple Rs for the outcome variables varied: for child academic achieve- ment,
R = 0.41; for negative peer teacher rat-
ings, R = 0.62; for child physical illness, R =
0.60. The figures present the path coefficients, with z scores for each coefficient in parentheses. As
can be seen from these figures, the model building using our theory was generally suc- cessful.
We were able to find link.ages for the major pathways we proposed between meta- emotion and
parenting, between meta-emotion and the physiological variables, between parent- ing and the
physiological variables for child peer relations, between physiology and emotion regulation,
between emotion regulation and child outcome, and between parenting and child outcome. For
child illness, we suggested that basal vagal tone should relate to less physical illness, and it tumed
out that the significant paths to child illness were parental emotion coaching and basal vagal tone.
ln all models, either awareness or coaching of the child's emotions was negatively related to the
negative parenting variable, supporting the hypothesis that awareness or coaching is an inhibitor
of parental derogation of the child. lt was interesting that in all models the child's ability to
suppress vagal tone at age 5 was a significant predictor of the child's emotion reg- ulation at age 8.
Toe greater the child's ability to suppress vagai tone at age 5, the less the parents had to down
regulate the child's nega- tive affects, inappropriate behavior, and overex- citement at age 8.

Modeling With Scaffolding-Praising Parenting


We tested whether the sarne equations we had used for negative parenting would fit when the

Awareness
Child Achievement
.18 (1.36)

Down Reguate
-.48 (-4.06)
.63 (5.63)

Figure 3. Path model for child academic achievement with parental derogation. Numbers in
parentheses are z scores.
META-EMOTION 257

.48 (4.20)

Child Peer
Relations

.31 (2.48)
-.47 (-3.65)
Down Reguate

.61 (5.53)

Figure 4. Path model for child peer relations (teacher ratings) with parental derogation. Numbers
in parentheses are z scores.

parental derogation variable was replaced with the scaffolding-praising parenting variable. We ex- pected
that some of the path coefficients would change, but we first tested whether or not a similar model
would fit the data. For the academic
achievement outcome variable, a very similar model fit the data, _x2(14, N = 56) = 13.12, p = .517,
BBN = .986; for the peer relations outcome variable, _x2(15, N = 56) = 24.14, p = .063, BBN =
.978; for child illness, _x2(15, N = 56) = 18.82, p = .222, BBN = .981. These
results are presented as Figures 6, 7, and 8.
Was scaffolding-praising related to the vari- ables of the model? For child academic achieve-
ment, the scaffolding-praising variable was sig- nificantly related to the outcome and to
coaching. For teacher ratings of peer interac- tion, the scaffolding-praising variable was not directly
related to the outcome, but it was sig- nificantly related to coaching. For child illness, the
scaffolding-praising variable was unrelated to the outcome, but it was significantly related to
awareness.

Direction of Effects Between Emotion Coaching and Child Regulatory Physiology:


Testing the Temperament Hypothesis
Although our path models present data sup- porting the notion that emotion coaching can

-.43 (-3.17)

Chld lllness

Coaching .28(1.86) -.33 (-2.12)

.41 (3.23)
Down Reguate
40 (-3.27) -.

.63 (5.52)

Figure 5. Path model for child illness with parental derogation. Numbers in parentheses are z
scores.
258 GOTIMAN, KATZ, AND HOOVEN

Awareness
Child
Scaf-Pr
Achievement

.44 (3.54)
Down Reguate
-.41 (-3.45)

.66 (6.16)

Figure 6. Path model for child academic achievement with positive parenting in the model.
Numbers in parentheses are z scores. SCAF-PR scaffolding-praising.

affect a child's vagal tone, it is possible that the direction of effects may be reversed. That is, it is
quite possible that either (a) child physiology is a part of child temperament, and parents may
select parenting style to be consistent with in- dividual differences in child behavior or (b) emotion
coaching changes a child's vagal tone. Perhaps parents are more likely to do emotion coaching with
a child higher in vagal tone, or perhaps emotion coaching can affect a child's basal vagal tone.
Although we could not answer causal questions in our path modeling, we did conduct additional
analyses to see if results either were consistent with or disconfirmed the temperament hypothesis.
We tested the hypothesis that child vagal tone might affect emotion coaching by reversing the
arrow between these two variables. The models fit just as well with the direction of effects
reversed. First, we considered the models with derogatory parenting. For the child outcome of
negative peer relations, x203, N = 56) =
19.32, p = .113, BBN = .985, and the path
coefficient from basal vagal tone to emotion coaching was .37, z = 3.62. For the child out- come
of child achievement, x2(14, N = 56) = 11.28, p = .664, BBN = .989, and the path coefficient
from basal vagal tone to emotion
coaching was .35, z = 3.74. For the child out- come of child illness, x202, N = 56) = 13.36, p =
.344, BBN = .986, and the path coefficient from basal vagal tone to emotion coaching was
.33, z = 3.05. Next, we considered the models with scaffolding-praising. For the child out- come
of academic achievement, x2(14, N =
56) = 12.77, p = .545, BBN = .986, and the
path coefficient from basal vagal tone to emo- tion coaching was .34, z = 3.35. For the child

Awareness
Child Peer
Scaf-Pr Achievement

.42 (2.80)

.37 (2.92)
.66 (5.15)
Down Reguate

Figure 7. Path model for child peer relations (teacher ratings) with positive parenting in the
model. Numbers in parentheses are z scores. SCAF-PR = scaffolding-prasing.
META-EMOTION 259

-.53 (-4.02)

.02 (.13)
Scaf-Pr Child lllness

.26 (1.62)
.43 (3.18)

Down Reguate

Figure 8. Path model for child illness with positive parenting in the model. Numbers in paren-
theses are z scores. SCAF-PR = scaffolding-praising.

outcome of negative peer relations, x205, N =


56) = 19.82, p = .179, BBN = .982, and the
path coefficient from basal vagal tone to emo- tion coaching was .40, z = 3.69. For the child
outcome of child illness, x2(14, N = 56) = 19.77, p = .138, BBN = .982, and the path
coefficient from basal vagai tone to emotion coaching was .37, z = 3.64. Thus, our modeling can
rule out neither a direction for effects, nor
the possibility that the effects are bidirectional. Given recent theorizing that vagai tone is a
temperament dimension (Porges, Doussard- Roosevelt, Portales, & Suers, 1994), one con- cern
with these results concerns the direction of effects; the question is whether parents are coaching
their children differentially as a func- tion of the children's temperament. To further test this
hypothesis, we correlated coaching with our temperament measures from the Dif- ferential
Emotions Scale. Coaching was uncor- related with the amount of child negative affect (r = .02, ns),
the amount of child positive affect
(r = .20, ns), and the amount of child total affect (r = .16, ns). We were also concerned
that the direct effects of coaching on child out- comes might be qualified as a function of the child's
basal vagai tone. Coaching was signifi- cantly directly correlated with only one of the
three outcomes, the child's Time 2 physical illness (r = - .55, p < .001). The child's basal vagai tone
was also significantly correlated with this outcome (r = .30, p < .05); however, the
partia! correlation between coaching and the child's physical illness, controllng basal vagai tone,
remained significant (r = - .56, p <
.001). Hence, it appears that the direct benefits of coaching are unaffected by the child's basal
vagal tone.

Meta-Emotion Predicts Chi/d Academic Achievement at Time 2, Controlling for Time


1 Chi/d lntelligence
If, as we hypothesized, the meta-emotion variables affect school achievement through emotion
regulation, we should expect that the relationships between the meta-emotion vari- ables and the
child's achievement at age 8 will hold, even controllng the child's Time 1 IQ (at age 5). To test
this hypothesis, we performed a regression analysis forcing in the three IQ scales (WPPSI Block
Design, Picture Completion, and lnformation Scale scores) before entering the mother's awareness
of her own sadness in pre- dicting the child's math scores and, in a second analysis, before entering
the father's coaching of the child's anger. The F tests for change were computed as well as the
partial correlations. For the prediction of the child's mathematics scores
from the mother's awareness of her own sad- ness, F(4, 48) = 6.12, p < .05 (partial correla- tion =
0.34). For the prediction of the child's reading comprehension scores from the father's
coaching of the child's anger, F(4, 44) = 9.41,
p < .01 (partia! correlation = 0.37). For the prediction of the child's total achievement score from
both the mother's awareness of her own sadness and the father's coaching of the child's anger, the
two variables were summed for the
260 GOITMAN, KATZ, AND HOOVEN

analysis, F(4, 45) = 4.13, p < .05 (partial


correlation = 0.29).

Summary
Let us summarize the results of our modeling in Figure 9 with respect to the eight conceptual
paths numbered in Figure 2. We recognize that our models are probably not independent of one
another.

Conceptual Paths
Path 1: Meta-emotion and parenting. Meta- emotion was related to both the inhibition of parental
derogation of the child and to the fa- cilitation of scaffolding-praising parenting.
Path 2: Meta-emotion and child physiology. For models including the derogation parenting
variable, coaching was directly and signifi- cantly related in all the models (achievement, ratings of
child peer relations, and child health) to the child's physiology. This linkage was also evident in
the models that included the scaffolding-praising parenting variable for the
achievement and peer relations models (margin- ally for the child health model, z = 1.80). This
suggests the intriguing hypothesis that perhaps
parents can influence a child's physiology by emotion coaching; however, we cannot differ- entiate
directionality of effects without an ex- periment. As we posited, the child's physiology was
significantly related to parental emotion regulation ratings, which, in tum, were related to child
outcomes in the models for derogatory parenting and scaffolding-praising and the
child's negative child peer relations. There were direct links between child physiology and child
outcome only for child illness. We note, in passing, that in path analysis, a path coefficient is a
partial correlation; thus, for example, the pathway between delta vagal and down regulate partials
out basal vagal tone. For this reason, we speak of these pathways in terms of the regula- tory
physiology variables instead of in terms of single variables.
Path 3: Parenting and child physiology. This hypothesized pathway was not supported by any
of the models.
Path 4: Parenting and emotional down reg- ulation. This pathway was not supported by any of
the models.
Path 5: Parenting and child outcome. This pathway was supported in three of the six mod- els:
for derogatory parenting, there was a direct link with child academic achievement and child peer
relations, whereas for scaffolding-praising parenting, there was a direct link only with academic
achievement.
Path 6: Child physiology and child outcome. This linkage was supported only for child ill- ness
and only in the derogation model.
Path 7: Child physiology and [ater emotional down regulation. This pathway, which was from
the 5-year-old suppression of vagal tone variable to the 8-year-old emotional down reg- ulation
variable, was supported in all of the models.
Path 8: Emotional down regulation and child outcome. This linkage was supported in two of the
six models, for models predicting peer rela- tions.

Direct Pathway

Child Outcomes

Down Regulation

Figure 9. Revision of the path model derived from our theory.


META-EMOTION 261

Unexpected Direct Pathway


ln two models for derogatory parenting (teacher ratings of peer relations and child ill- ness) and in
one model for scaffolding-praising (child illness), there was a direct pathway from either awareness
or coaching of the child's emo- tions and the child outcome. For one of these models (derogatory
parenting: child peer rela- tions), more awareness predicted more negative ratings, opposite to what
we might have pre- dicted, whereas for child illness, more coaching of the child's emotions was
related to less child illness, which we predicted. One possible ex- planation for the unexpected
linkage is that at times parental awareness of emotion is not such a good thing for children. Perhaps
being attuned to a child's negative emotion fosters its expres- sion, and even teachers pick up on this
when the child is 8 years old and rate it negatively. As
child's regulatory physiology and behavior are related to child outcomes. ln general, aside from
two direct connections (from awareness to peer relations and from coaching to child illness), there
are two pathways through the models that predict child outcomes: one from the meta- emotion
variables through child physiology and emotion regulation and one from the meta- emotion
variables through parenting.
Toe pathway from meta-emotion to the child's regulatory physiology suggests the hy- pothesis
that coaching the child's emotions has a soothing effect on the child that may change some key
aspects of the child's PNS. If this were true, then the child's ability to self-soothe, to regulate
negative emotion, and to focus at- tention may be a result of temperament and may also be affected
by the parents' meta-emotion philosophy. However, the data also support an interpretation that
suggests that parents may be
part of this explanation, perhaps the arrow of
causation should be reversed, meaning that par- ents have heightened awareness of their child's
negative emotions because the child is highly expressive of them. With this possibility in mind, we
attempted to fit path models with the arrow reversed for the three models for which awareness was
positively related to a negative child outcome. The results of these post hoc analyses were as
follows. For the derogatory parenting models, with the child peer relations outcome, the new model
did not fit the data, y(13, N = 56) = 48.60, p < .001. Hence, this
hypothesis is not consistent with our data.4 The
revised figure (Figure 9) places the Time 1 meta-emotion variables as the exogenous, or driving,
variables in the model, having their purported causal effects on parenting, which predicts 8-year-old
child outcome, and on child physiology, which has its major effects on out- come through the
child's emotion regulation abilities at age 8. These results are consistent with the theory we
proposed.

Discussion
The preliminary results of our investigation of meta-emotion are encouraging. The data sug- gest
that meta-emotion is related to parenting behavior and to child regulatory physiology; that child
regulatory physiology at age 5 pre- dicts emotion down regulation ability at age 8; and that
parenting, meta-emotion, and the
4 Because the arrow for awareness has coaching coming into it and, as a variable, a line from aware- ness
represents a partia! correlation of awareness, controlling for coaching, we wondered if the problem arose
because some families are high in awareness but do not coach. We split the families who were above the
median in awareness into two groups:
Group 2 included those above the median (N = 18), and Group 1 included those below the median (N =
8) in coaching. Thus, Group 1 represented 8 families
high in awareness but low in coaching, whereas Group 2 represented 18 families high in both aware- ness and
coaching. Group 1 had children whose play quality at age 5 was significantly lower than Group 2,
F(l, 24) = 4.29,p < .05, Group 1 M = 14.13, Group
2 M = 16.00. There were also marginal effects at age 5 in the observed negative peer interaction with a best
friend; in noncompliance, F(l, 24) = 3.05, p = .093,
Group 1 = 2.75, Group 2 = .83; and in crying, F(l,
24) = 3.74, p = .065, Group 1 = .63, Group 2 = .00.
Also, when the children were 8 years old, teachers used the Dodge Rating Scale and rated the children on
three scales of peer relations. The teachers rated
the children in Group 1 significantly lower in the Dodge Social Skills scale, F(l, 25) = 7.51, p < .05,
Group 1 = -3.80, Group 2 = -0.21; higher in the Dodge Aggression Scale, F(l, 25) = 4.56, p < .05,
Group 1 = -3.29, Group 2 = -0.40; and lower in the Dodge scale of Overall Peer Relations, F( 1, 21) =
5.83, p < .05, Group 1 = -2.21, Group 2 =
0.21 than Group 2. These post hoc results support the hypothesis that the negative link.age between aware-
ness and negative child outcomes may be attribut- able, in part, to those families who are aware of their child'
s emotion and perhaps are even accepting of it, but who do not emotion coach their children.
262 GOTIMAN, KATZ, AND HOOVEN

selecting emotion coaching as a good strategy of parenting with children who have higher basal vagal
tone, However, parents are not differentially coaching their children as a function of our mea- sures of
their temperaments, Toe truth probably lies in a combination of these two directions of influence, or
perhaps the influence is bidirectional; an experimental test of the effects of training par- ents in emotion
coaching on basal vagal tone would help sort out these altematives. We have now developed and pilot
tested a parent training intervention in emotion coaching.
The social skills that are related to peer social competence in middle childhood are not the sarne
as the skills that emotion-coaching parents are building in their children. It has been well established
that calling attention to oneself and one's feelings are precisely the opposite ofwhat socially
competent children do in a variety of critical peer situations in middle childhood (for data on peer
entry, see Putallaz & Gottman, 1981, and Asher & Gottman, 1981; for data on teasing, see Gottman
& Parker, 1986, and Asher & Coie, 1990). They do not express their emo- tions. On the contrary,
they act cool and unruf- fled, as if they have had an "emotion-ectomy." Toe point here is that
children whose parents were emotion coaches at age 5 are acting in a way that teachers describe as
socially competent at age 8. Hence, they are skillful enough to know what to do to be competent
with peers at age 8, and these social skills are not at all the sarne as what they leamed from their
parents at age 5. Apparently, emotion-coached children have leamed to be savvy about peer social
sit- uations, and they can do what is called for. They may have a heightened sense of awareness of
their own emotions, a better ability to self- regulate their own upset, and a greater ability to attend to
the salient aspects of any challenging peer situation. This sense of heightened aware- ness may lead
them to be more likely to know what is called for and to do it. This interpreta- tion of our results
suggests that what children leam from emotion coaching is not at all modeling-specific social skills.
It is far more likely that what they have acquired are the tools to leam how to leam in emotionally
challenging situations, even if that calls for inhibiting emo- tional responding.
From a theoretic standpoint, it is interesting to consider why and how parental coaching would
affect the child's regulatory physiology. On the basis of the seminal work of Davidson and of
Fox (Davidson, 1984; Davidson, Ekman, Saron, Senulis, & Friesen, 1990; Davidson & Fox, 1982;
Davidson, Schaffer, & Saron, 1985; Dav- idson & Tomarken, 1990; Fox & Davidson, 1987, 1988),
we can reason that talking about negative emotions while having the emotions might entail
changing a right frontal-limbic- autonomic experience of emotion into a left frontal dominant
experience in which the left frontal lobe assumes control over the right fron- tal lobe and its limbic
and autonomic connec- tions. The positive affects, language, and anger are lateralized in the left
frontal lobe, and Dav- idson called these left-lateralized emotions ap- proach emotions. Anger is
considered an ap- proach emotion because it generally tends to engage people with the world
rather than lead- ing to disengagement and withdrawal. This may be, in part, the reason that many
clinical inter- ventions suggest a healing process in which depression changes into anger. The
other nega- tive affects, such as fear, disgust, and sadness, are lateralized in the left frontal lobe;
Davidson called these withdrawal affects.
We posit that talking about negative with- drawal emotions while having them entails a greater
sense of approach rather than with- drawal, a greater sense of control of the nega- tive emotions,
and greater parasympathetic con- trol of autonomic reactions. These hypotheses suggest to us a
series of studies using concom- itant electroencephalographic (EEG) and auto- nomic
measurement while children are either experiencing a negative emotion, being dis- tracted from an
emotional response they are having (similar to what dismissing parents do), or talking about the
emotions while having them (similar to what coaching parents do). The conditions in these
experiments would involve a systematic dismantling of the emotion-coaching parents' behaviors;
this group would be com- pared to appropriate controls for rival hypothe- ses and to a dismantling
of the counterpart of the coaching parent, reflecting a meta-emotion philosophy we call
dismissing. These studies are currently underway in our laboratory, but we do not hesitate to
point out that these hy- potheses are highly speculative.
The results of this first study of meta-emotion are encouraging, but replication and extension to a
more diverse sample of families is clearly needed. We are currently conducting a replica- tion and
extension study. Our initial sample was not racially or ethnically diverse, and it was
META-EMOTION 263

limited to families with two married parents. Subsequent investigation needs to assess whether these
results generalize to various kinds of single-parent families and to blended fami- lies. Replication is
also important because of the relatively small sample size of the present study and its possible
effects on structural equations modeling (Loehlin, 1992). Naturalistic samples of parents interacting
with their children during emotional moments are also needed to see how emotion-coaching
families actually talk to their children during times of heightened emotion. These samples should be
obtained across vari- ous developmental levels of both the children and the parents. We also need to
assess the stability of parental meta-emotion philosophy over time. Changes to the meta-emotion
inter- view are also needed, including an expansion to include other emotions (particularly fear,
guilt, and shame) and the development of a measure of child meta-emotion philosophy.
The second general pathway through our models was from the meta-emotion variables through
parenting. What this adds to the parent- ing literature is that perhaps parents' own basic feelings and
thoughts about their emotions are strongly related to or underlie the way they parent. The results of
our modeling with longi- tudinal correlational data suggest a series of experiments that would
further test the model. Each arrow in the model suggests an interven- tion for altering the variable at
the head of the arrow by manipulating the variable at the foot of the arrow. Thus, parent training in
meta- emotion should affect two pathways: It should alter both parenting and the child's regulatory
physiology, and it may also have a direct effect on child outcome. We are now planning to conduct
this research.

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META-EMOTION 267

Appendix
Coaching and Awareness Variables
We created two variables from our coding of the meta-emotion interview: coaching and awareness. To
give readers a qualitative sense of the emotional nature of these two variables, we present a few ex-
amples of quotes from parents who were high and low on these two variables. Parents high on coaching said
things like the following: "I feel dose to my child when heis sad," "When Jason is sad it makes me feel
like a real Dad, now my heart just goes out to him," "When my child is sad I let her know that I understand,"
"When Markie is sad I want to know what heis thinking," "It makes me want to hold him dose," "I feel
affectionate," "I feel love even when he's upset and angry at me."
Some examples of emotion metaphors and con- cepts parents expressed were as follows: "Anger gives me
energy and drive,"" I think that sadness can be good and even productive," "Sadness tells you to slow down,"
"When I am sad I know something is missing from my life," "Anger is just like dearing your throat, just dear it
and go on," "ln my view, attending to sadness is deansing," "I want her to be sad like in movies. It means she
can feel and empa- thize," "I often have the good cry, and I think she does that too," "Getting angry can be a
relief, like a storm that finally happens."
Parents low on coaching induded parents who were either disapproving of the child's emotion or dismissing
of the child's emotion. Examples of com- ments they made include the following: "Seeing my child sad makes
me uncomfortable," "I think that sadness is OK as long as it's under control," "A child's anger deserves a time
out," "I get annoyed when my child acts sad," "Children often act sad just to get their own way," "She looks
cute and silly when she's angry, like a little midget," "I warn him about not developing a bad character," "Her
shouting scares me," "Molly gets into these black moods."
One example of an emotion metaphor expressed by a parent low on coaching was as follows: "When people
get angry they are just relieving themselves on others." Other disapproving examples had to do with loss of
control; humiliation in public; metaphors of fire, pressure, heat, and other explosion and violence metaphors for
anger; and generally defeat, hopeless- ness, and pathology concems about sadness.
For the awareness variable, we found that only people who are aware of emotion and can differen- tially talk
about nuances of emotion and emotion intensity find emotional expression to be acceptable. If the low
awareness reaction to negative emotions were to be characterized as a specific emotion paired to anger and
sadness, it would be fear. People low in
awareness and coaching saw these emotions as toxic and dangerous.
People high in awareness tended to believe that one should not stifle one's emotions; that it was good,
healthy, and positive to pay attention to emotion; and that emotions are always there, a part oflife, and it is
best to be aware of them. They said things like it is best to get anger or sadness "out of your system" by
becoming aware of it and then being able to deal with it. They believed that it was important to recognize
smaller and less intense expressions of emotion to prevent them from escalating. They could speak in a
differentiated manner about each emotion and the bodily sensations of each; for example, some parents talked
about the "delicious" aspects of sadness in some romantic movies but the awful grief that ac- companies an
important loss. These parents often described the physical sensations that accompanied an emotion, for
example, "Sometimes I get so mad that my stomach is in knots."
People low in awareness said that these negative effects of anger and sadness were often so aversive for
them that they tended to prefer to minimize their importance or not to notice them at all so they wouldn't have
to deal with them. That is what we tapped with this variable and is probably the essence of being low on the
awareness variable. For example, one parent said, "When he gets on my nerves like that, Ijust tune him out,"
and, "He's not sad much. It hurts me to see him sad though. I have to go out for a run." Many parents who
expressed discomfort with their child's negative affect tended to view it as toxic and believed that it was their
role to get the child out of the negative mood as quickly as possible. Many of these parents also said that they
and their children rarely showed the emotion, or (to prove that they could survive the negative mood) that
they can "roll with the punches." They seemed to be ata loss when asked to describe how they could tel1
when they or their children had the emotion, and they seemed unaware of what might make a child feel sad or
angry and what might be done about it. They often ex- pressed the philosophy that the way to cope with
negativity is to emphasize the positive aspects of life and to substitute a positive emotion for the negative
emotion. They said that negative emotion must sim- ply be endured; that the passage of time alone will solve
emotional problems; that to get over a negative emotion one should just get on with life's routines, ignore the
emotion and just go on; that anger or sadness meant loss of control; that feelings are pri- vate, not public; and
that it is embarrassing to be sad or angry and better not to be aware of it. These

(Appendix continues on next page)


268 GOTIMAN, KATZ, AND HOOVEN

Appendix (continued)

parents were often most aware of the demand com- ponent of a child's emotion (that they fix the world and
make it perfect so that their child will not have this awful emotion).
To summarize, these two variables represent highly emotional reactions and metaphors to anger
and sadness, even if their names, awareness and
coaching, do not sound very emotional.

Received January 22, 1995


Revision received December 14, 1995
Accepted December 15, 1995

New Editors Appointed, 1998-2003

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