To Know Him Means To Love Him
To Know Him Means To Love Him
To Know Him Means To Love Him
I want to dedicate this little book to his lotus feet. Without him, I
would be deprived of countless wonderful moments. I am forever
indebted to him for having me allowed to be with him all these
times and for all that I could learn from him..
Thank you to all the devotees who shared these moments with
us. And an extra special THANK YOU to my beloved wife,
Govinda priya, because without her I would be nothing and you
would not be able to read these pages.
vancha-kalpa-tarubhyash cha
kripa-sindhubhya eva cha
patitanam pavanebhyo
vaishnavebhyo namo namaha
If you find any mistakes, please feel free to contact the author to
help him improve the next edition.
Last but not least, my heart goes out to mybeloved Gurudeva, Sri
Sri Ananta das Babaji Maharaja, who mercifully and
mysteriously brought me in contact with Sripad Sadhu Maharaja.
Radhe Radhe!
It was not really what he spoke about, but how. His presence
installed such a loving atmosphere and his humility was
something you only read in the books of the acaryas! I had never
met such a human being. This much I knew after the first day. He
let everybody come so close to him. That was a real fantastic
experience, because "gurus usually distance themselves from all
people. Not him, though. Maharaja loves to be with the
people.
1
reservation. Everybody felt his love-giving ability and everyone
felt loved by him.
During this week I became really really close with and to him.
Often I was with him in his room and we talked very intimately,
like long-lost friends, except that I considered him as my siksha-
guru, whereas he always named me his beloved friend. After a
few days it was as if we knew each other for a very long time,
maybe life-times.
2
Then came our last day in the ashram. I was already very sad
after waking up. The thought of leaving Maharaja broke my
heart. I never experienced anything like this. During the morning
lecture I could not even look at Maharaja. Immediately my eyes
filled up, so I just sat there in sadness. After the lecture there was
breakfast and after breakfast we had to leave. The devotees were
gathered on a large breakfast-table-row, like 15 on each side, left
and right. Maharaja was sitting at the head of the table-setup.
Then I cried like a little child and my voice died. His voice also
choked and died. Then I had to go away from him, still crying
like a little boy, tears flowing like little streams. I saw then that
Maharaja was also near tears and he had to leave the table, too.
He went inside the house to compose himself and came out
again.
3
OK, I am going nuts now. What is going on?
One second in the presence of a realized soul can change your life
forever. He quoted Sri Caitanya Charitamrita 22.54
4
Maharaja the guru of her heartfelt longings and I witnessed this
uplifting change in consciousness in her even more than in me.
After a long flight and a long drive from New York City, we
finally arrived at the Legacy Inn, a Motel owned by Maharajas
sons Priyesh and Raj.
It was very very easy to find, because from the road we could see
a man with saffran robes standing in front of the Inn, waving very
friendly at us in the car. So we turned left, got out of our car and
offered full obeisances to his feet...
5
Thursday, August 18th
The next day, after morning practices (meditation, japa and puja)
I went for a swim in the Inns swimming pool.
During the day, his son Raj (owner of the Inns) arrived and we
immediately bonded strongly with him and a wonderful
friendship started.
The Inn also has rooms for people who need social services, so
we hang out with Maharaja and different people from the Legacy
Inn.
One guy just came out of prison and he really was a bad guy. But
Maharajas presence for a few days completely transformed him. I
could NOT believe that this person was in prison for over 20
years. He adored Maharaja and said that he stole his
heart...wow...
Yep, you should have seen the looks of the people on the
ship...very funny.
6
After the cruise we went for a nice coffee and then back home to
the Legacy Inn.
Maharaja told us, that in the evening they would have huge
fireworks down at the Lake and he woould love to watch it with
us from the Inn. So at 8.30 pm we watched the fireworks and had
a wonderful time outside.
Govinda priya went with Raj to the other motel to help him with
something and when she came back she said:
So, after two wonderful days with Maharaja at the Legacy Inn
the plan was to drive to the place of Priyesh, his youngest son,
who lives with his mother, Maharajas former wife, in Albany.
7
So after breakfast, we drove to our first living base in North
Andover (Mass). Maharaja knows there two wonderful devotees
named Sridhar and Dr Deepa, both husband and wife and
devotees of Sri Ramanuja Acarya.
We found our beautiful room in their cellar and felt very very
happy. After arriving, sumptuous prasadam was served and we
all ate heartily and talked about many different things.
Then after some rest, we started for our 1st program. It was
located in New Hampshire and Siddhanta das was the organizer.
8
After the program, we drove back to Sridhar/Deepas place and
rested peacefully for the night.
Then we went a out a bit for "fresh air", meaning we took a walk
to the nearby Starbucks, which Maharaja dearly loves...LOL.
Then after some rest, we had more talks and soon we prepared
ourselves for the drive to Rhode Island, where the 2nd program
weas about to take place.
The house was packed and the lecture was again very beautiful.
Maharaja put emphasis again on good association and he made
the point of always remembering Krishna and never forget him.
9
He quoted the verse:
This he said means that we should start with our own self. We
have to know our self and LOVE it. Then only are we able to
love others and ultimately Krishna. Many people only try to love
Krishna and they neglect the people in this world, most of all,
themselves. I too was a victim of this bhogus-philosophy.
Only by loving your own soul and the other souls we can develop
love for Krishna and His Holy Name, the most important item in
bhakti-yoga. If you have no love for everyone, no love for
Krishna will be able to sprout, Maharaja explained.
10
spoke very strongly on this point and on not committing offenses
to the Vaishnavas and to all jivas.
11
Maharaja was invited there as a special guest, honouring the
functions. We experienced bhajans, a very nice Bhagavatam
class, kirtan, superb prasadam and a wonderful bathing
ceremony.
12
13
14
Maharaja brilliantly explained vaidhi-bhakti and raganuga-
bhakti...revealing true inner realizations...not meant for public
readers, though. We three, my wife, Nimai and myself were
completely blown away by the deep insights of Maharaja about
our goal of life, prema...unbelievable...
There we were welcomed by his wonderful wife and his kids and
the sister of Nimais wife.
15
"In the beginning there must be faith. Then one becomes
interested in associating with pure devotees. Thereafter one is
initiated by the spiritual master and executes the regulative
principles under his orders. Thus one is freed from all unwanted
habits and becomes firmly fixed in devotional service. Thereafter,
one develops taste and attachment. This is the way of sadhana-
bhakti, the execution of devotional service according to the
regulative principles. Gradually emotions intensify, and finally
there is an awakening of love. This is the gradual development of
love of Godhead for the devotee interested in Krishna
consciousness."
16
Again we drove home after the wonderful program, fully satisfied
and full of DEEPEST impressions of bhakti-tattva.
17
After some time, the cooking was done and we were short before
the offereing ceremony. Sridhar sang beautiful prayer-hymns and
then offered the food also to my Sri Giriraja.
18
intimate sharings which we "swallowed" with our yearning
hearts.
After the wonderful sit-in and talk, each went to his/her room
and took a little rest.
19
There Maharaja spoke about the importance of our relationship
with a personal God. Love needs two, he said. When you
"become" God, there will be no more love, no exchange of love.
Each person in that smallish room felt loved and respected and
just at peace.
This was the day when the enormous loving service of the couple
Krishna Das and his wife Lalita dasi started. From now on, they
catered prasadam to each and every program in NYC...absolutely
stunning in quantity AND quality!!!!
After prasadam we left for our new residency, the White House
in Tarrytown and everyone rested very nicely.
20
And again we found another family member...another sister with
a beautiful heart...
One nice devotee and his wife had a book with them about the
Ratha Yatra-festival in Puri.
After this truly moving story we had to leave for the afternoon
program.
21
After introductory speeches and very nice singing from a famous
lady-singer, Maharaja also started to sing "Radhe Govinda" and
slowly the room started to fill up and the atmosphere changed
AGAIN...love was in the air!!!!
The room was full and Maharaja went a little deeper in the
understanding of our PERSONAL relationship with God
(Krishna). Many questions and again masterful answers...
www.newrealities.com.
22
After the program in the UN-Plaza, we drove back to our White
House in Tarrytown. The evening program was scheduled there
and Maharaja was invited to speak to the Christian community
of Tarrytown.
The spirit, God and Jesus. The spirit is the energy of God, God is
the person God and Jesus is the self-realized master.
23
freedom (liberation). No, in this lfe, freedom is possible by
realizingthe soul and its eternal relationship to Krishna. Blind?
Our eyes are blinded by ignorance. We are all ignorant of our
true self, of our beloved God. So the great masters came to give
freedom, to open our eyes for divya-jnana, divine knowledge and
ultimately divine vision.
At the end one lady had to read the letters of St. Paul.
If I speak in the languages of humans and angels but have no love, I have
become a reverberating gong or a clashing cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can understand all secrets and every
form of knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains
but have no love, I am nothing.
Even if I give away everything that I have and sacrifice myself, but have
no love, I gain nothing.
Love is always patient;
love is always kind;
love is never envious
or arrogant with pride.
Nor is she conceited,
and she is never rude;
she never thinks just of herself
or ever get annoyed.
She never is resentful;
is never glad with sin,
but always glad to side with truth,
whene'er the truth should win.
24
She bears up under everything,
believes the best in all,
there is no limit to her hope,
and she will never fall.
Love never fails.
Now if there are prophecies, they will be done away with.
If there are languages, they will cease. If there is knowledge, it will be
done away with.
For what we know is incomplete and what we prophesy is incomplete.
But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will be done
away with.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and
reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways.
Now we see only an indistinct image in a mirror, but then we will be face
to face.
Now what I know is incomplete, but then I will know fully, even as I
have been fully known.
Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
(1 Corinthians 13)
ceto-darpana-marjanam bhava-maha--davagni-nirvapanam
shreyah-kairava-chandrika-vitaranam vidya-vadhu-jivanam
anandambudhi-vardhanam prati-padam purnamritaswadanam
sarvatma-snapanam param vijayate sri-krishna-sankirtanam
25
conditional life, of repeated birth and death. This sankirtana
movement is the prime benediction for humanity at large because
it spreads the rays of the benediction moon. It is the life of all
transcendental knowledge. It increases the ocean of
transcendental bliss, and it enables us to fully taste the nectar for
which we are always anxious.
After the speech many persons asked very personal questions and
Maharaja answered them again to their full satisfaction. One
issue was the importance of true family life and he made a strong
point in being a very good and truthful and caring parent if we
want our children to be happy.
Again, for the 2nd time this day, Krishna das and his wife served
wonderful prasadam and everyone loved it.
Then we went on our way to our next program. This one was
scheduled in Jackson Heights in a company room called "Parents
in action".
26
The subject matter was Maharaja Pariksit and his remaining
seven days...
The lecture went on very nicely and Maharaja spoke very strong
about being in the right association, aiming at the right goal. He
clearly made the point that Caitanya Mahaprabhu gave us
something special, something never given before. Maharaja
focused the subject of manjari-bhava, the highest rasa possible.
He said we are all Radhikas servants, female servants of course.
He really went deep into the topic of Radha-dasyam, servitude to
Radhika. Krishna is only interseting for us because He is Radhas
Krishna. We love Radhika more. We only live to be with and
FOR Her. Everyone was so mesmerized, again. But since here
were more senior devotees present, Maharaja decided to speak on
another level, much deeper than before because the audience
could digest it. And they LOVED it.
27
Many questions were asked and always he came up with the best
answer.
Maharaja also had some prasadam and he was very happy with
everything, especially with the fact, that his daughter-in-law
Diana showed up with his grand-kids (2 boys and 1 girl). He
decided to stay with his family for the night and after the feast
they were ready to go.
28
Omega center, but it started at 8:00 pm and for this night, there
were big hurricane warnings...
There we met with Raghunatha Batta and his wife who were
eagerly awaiting Maharaja. Also we were very happy to meet
again with our brother Raj and the guys staying at the Legacy
Inn. It just IS a wonderful place to be and chill out in beautiful
natural surroundings.
(1)
r-guru-carana-padma,
kevala-bhakati-sadma,
bando mui svadhna mate
jhra prasde bhi,
e bhava toriy ji,
krsna-prpti hoy jh ha'te
29
(2)
guru-mukha-padma-vkya,
cittete koribo aikya,
r n koriho mane
r-guru-carane rati,
ei se uttama-gati,
je prasde pre sarva
(3)
caksu-dn dilo jei,
janme janme prabhu sei,
divya jn hrde prokito
prema-bhakti jh hoite,
avidy vina jte,
vede gy jhra carito
(4)
r-guru karun-sindhu,
adhama janra bandhu,
lokanth lokera jvana
h h prabhu koro doy,
deho more pada-chy,
ebe jaa ghusuk tribhuvana
30
Maharaja was very tired so hewent to sleep short after we
brought the candles and he took us both with him to his room,
where we had a wonderful confidential talk about special-guru-
seva, mentioned by Sripad Jiva Goswami.
Raghunatha Batta das very nicely spoke about his meetings with
his Gurudeva and about his realizations. Then Maharaja spoke a
bit and we had some bhajans.
Feast was served and after the feast, we went outside into the
sunshine to relax.
31
after a nice little sit-in, they left and we started packing and
confirming our flights, because tomorrow was Maharajas and our
flight.
Departure day.
And there we stood, watching him disappear into the crowd, his
silvery hair on the horizon of human beings and then he was
gone.
But NOT from our heart. There, he will ALWAYS stay, our
dearly beloved siksa-guru und Gurudeva!!!!
32
TRUE sad-guru who REALLY lives a LIFE OF LOVE, showing
it to others...how it really can be done.
For the time from December the 26th until January the 6th
Govinda priya dd and me had the fantastic opportunity to visit
the Holy Land of Vrindavana, where the Divine Couple eternally
plays Their amourous pastimes. But not only that, we had been
very fortunate to be able to live with Sripad Sadhu Maharaja in
his beautiful temple, called Mungir Mandir. We already talked
on the phone so many times and obviously we have been very
eager to go there. Maharaja told us that our rooms are already
booked and so the journey was about to beginwe counted the
days, the hours, the minutes Two friends of us also decided to
come with us to Vrindavana: Premavati dd (a wonderful disciple
of Sripad Sadhu Maharaja) and Diana. So on December 25th, we
all four met in the train to Frankfurt airport and everyone was
VERY excited!!!
33
Three and a half hour in the taxi, between being half-asleep and
half-awake we slowly came nearer to the area of Vrindavana.
Everyone knows, when you make the last turn in the left
direction, Vrindavan is no more far away! And yes, soon enough
we parked in front of the wonderful gate of the most beautiful
Mungir Mandir.
And there was our beloved Sripad Sadhu Maharaja, in the midst
of his beloved followers and some more, sitting relaxed and very
fresh looking in his chair to the left side when you enter. What a
wonderful meet and greetimmediately we made full danavat-
pranams (respectful obeisances) and immediately after getting up
he was also standing, hugging everybody full of love and very
tightly. It is a truly wonderful thing to come to Vrindavana, but it
is truly more wonderful to do so in the association of a sadhu and
under his loving guidance. What a nice meeting-again after the
wonderful US-tour.
34
After some time, we went back to our room unpacking and
settling in, resting for some hours.
Shortly after, the local devotees started to chant mantras and the
priests began offering various prayers to the Yamuna. Some of us
were invited to sit with them and each of us got a plate with
flower petals to be thrown into the Yamuna at their command:
svaha!
35
When the ceremony was over, some of us returned to Mungir
Mandir and some went to some temples in Vrindavana. We
went back to Mungir Mandir, ate some delicious prasadam and
spent the evening in the association of Sripad Sadhu Maharaja
and our wonderful friends, some old, some new.
The next day, the group with Paramahamsa das and Hamsaduta
priya dd were planning a trip to Agra to see the famous Taj
Mahal.
36
happy and I was ordered to bring in some fresh Italian air
immediately. And so I did.
37
comments on Srila Vishvanatha Chakravartipads book Raga-
vartma-chandrika.
Today Maharaja had me read after breakfast from the book The
hidden path of devotion.
38
Maharaja strongly spoke about the necessity of coming to know
ones spiritual identity with the help of ones Sri Gurudeva.
Without knowing our own identity, how is it possible to really
know Krishna?
39
wonderful time with her together with Maharaja and a good dose
of Italian fresh air!
40
Monday, January 2nd: group relaxing;-D
First stop:
RAMAN RETI
Many of us felt that this place was utterly peaceful and the
cleanliness was marvelous to behold. It was like a temple with
attached huts where the sadhus lived. Everything was so neat and
truly beautiful. A real place for meditation. When we arrived, a
ceremony was going on for the beautiful deities of Radha and
Krishna, so we entered the temple and watched in amazement.
41
Next stop: Breakfast on the road.
I told them the story about Indra, wanting to destroy the town of
Vrindavana and the inhabitants with torrents of rain, because
they disobeyed him and followed Krishnas advice. Out of sheer
pride, Indra assembled large thunderclouds and started to let
down rivers of rainfall. But Krishna was so eager to protect the
Vrajavasis and so He put the mountain Govardhana on his little
pinkie of his right hand and he stood there seven days and seven
nights to protect them all.
I also told the guests the REAL reason why Krishna stood there
holding Govardhana for seven days and seven days: To gaze
upon the beauty of Radhika and so that Radhika could do the
same, unhindered, no obstacles.
42
When we arrived there, Maharaja begged us to go sit at Sri
Govinda Kund, sing some bhajan and I should explain
something more to the guests.
43
Let us just say that Srila Sadhu Maharaja performed a very tricky
miracle here and somehow, a wonderful stone came to Arjuna
das from the priests hands over Maharajas hands and inside the
bus. Everybody cheered and was very happy for Arjuna.
Radha: Nobody.
Radha: Nobody.
Radha: And You speak in a very straight way, dont You? Krishna: I am
asking You who You are.
44
Radha: Picking flowers to worship the Sungod.
Krishna: Aha, I have caught a thief today. I wondered who was stealing
flowers every day and ruining this garden. Now I have caught You, and
will punish You straight away.
Radha: Since when have You become the master of this flower garden?
Have You ever planted a single flower here Have You ever even watered
one? On the contrary, You ruin this flower garden with Your hundreds
and thousands of cows and Your boisterous, brazen friends. Indeed, since
when have You become the protector of this garden?
Krishna: Do not defame a pious, righteous person like Me. Now I shall
teach You a good lesson.
Radha (smiling): Aha-ha, You are a highly pious and righteous person,
are You? You killed a woman right after Your birth; You lied to Your
mother even in childhood; You stole butter from the houses of the
neighbouring gopis; and when You became a little older, You stole the
clothes of the young gopis. Only a few days ago You killed a calf. This is
the extent of Your pious, saintly conduct.
Hearing the retort, Krishna scratched His head and looked towards clever
Madhumarigala, who advised Him, Ones wellbeing lies in remaining
quiet.
45
With our hearts already full of joy and bliss the next stop would
be the most Holy Lake of the world: Sri Radhakunda.
46
associate with Him unless He purified Himself from the sin of bull-killing
by bathing in all the holy rivers of the universe. Sri Krishna pleaded that
since the bull was Aristasura in disguise, this was not necessary. But
Srimati Radharani said that She heard from Madhumangals
grandmother Paurnamasi that even Indra the king of the material
heavens, had to atone for the sin of killing Vritasura, who was a brahmin
by birth. Sri Krishna then asked Srimati Radharani if She would be
pleased if He called all the sacred rivers of the three worlds to come here.
Srimati Radharani replied :We are simple cowherd-village-girls. How
could we know?. Sri Krishna then replied :I will convince You . He
then struck His right heel into the ground and created a large hollow
(Vajrakund). Then He called all the sacred rivers who came in personified
forms and offered their obeissances to Him. They identified themselves as
Sri Godavari, Kaveri, Brahmaputra, Sindhu, Krishna, Gandaki,
Yamunaect, and offered prayers to Sri Krishna to become waters to fill
Syamakund. After doing this they left and Sri Krishna relieved Himself
from the sin of killing a bull to Srimati Radharanis satisfaction by
bathing in the water. He then started joking with Her:Just see what I
have done. Everyone will praise Me in the future, but what have you girls
done except selling yoghurt and clarified butter in the streets?. Srimati
exhibited her transcendental anger (Mana) and seeing a big hoofprint of
the Aristasura demon on the western side of Sri Syamakund, She broke
one of Her bangles and started digging there. With the help of thousands
of her girl-friends (sakhies) and assistants (manjaries) a large depression
in the earth was created. When it was finished, there was no water, so Sri
Krishna told Srimati Radharani to take water from His kund to fill it,
but She refused, considering that water polluted by the sin of Krishnas
bull-killing. She then made arrangements to bring water from Manasi-
Ganga, nearly 5 kilometers away. (previously Nanda Maharaja and all
the cowherdmen, had once desired to go on pilgrimage to take a bath in
the Ganges some 100 kilometer away from Vrindavan. Knowing this, Sri
Krishna called for the Ganges personified to appear at Govardhan, which
became and what is now known as Manasi-Ganga. In a similar manner,
wherever His father wanted to go to some place of pilgrimage, Krishna
47
would request that tirtha to come to Vrajamandal. Thus, all the places of
pilgrimage can be found within the 168 miles parikrama of
Vrajamandal). Seeing this quarrel between Radha and Krishna, the
personified sacred waters appeared again and requested Krishna to be
allowed to fill the Radhakund. Shri Krishna told them to do that, but
they should take permission first from Srimati Radharani Herself. All the
personified rivers then began offering nice prayers to Srimati Radharani,
Who being kindness personified, hinted through eye-movements to
Srimati Lalita, the chief of the sakhies, to have this done. So at 11.45
P.M. on the eighth day of the waning moon in karttik (Damodar,
October-November) the rivers personified broke the walls of Syamakund
and entered to fill Radhakund. Sri Krishna then took bath in
Radhakund and announced that to whomever takes bath in Radhakund
on this day of the year or any day in future, the seed of intense love
(Prema-Bhakti) which Srimati Radharani has for Him would be given.
Similarly, Srimati Radharani took bath in Syamakund and announced
that to anyone who takes bath in Syamakund, She would also give the
seed of love that Sri Krishna has for Her. Presently, thousands of pilgrims
desiring love for Sri Sri Radha-Krishna come to this holy spot on the
occasion of Ardha-Ratri-Snan (Midnight bath) to take bath in a
reverential mood, bathing first in Sri Radhakund, then in Sri
Syamakund, and then again in Sri Radhakund. This is the only place of
pilgrimage where an auspicious bath is taken at midnight.
(http://www.radhakunda.com/the_glories_of_radhakund/index.html)
48
BV Sadhu Maharaja was more than wonderful. His presence lets
you experience the mercy of Sri Radhakunda times a million.
49
We entered, went to the marbled dome, bowed down and exited
the door down to the left for entering the banks of Sri
Radhakunda.
(http://www.radhakunda.com/the_glories_of_radhakund/index.html)
50
In 1582 Ma Jahnava, after the disappearance of Lord
Nityananda, desired to perform circumambulation of the 12
forests of Vrindavana. She came to Radhakund with Shrila Jiva
Goswami where she experienced Gopinathji playing on His flute
beneath the Bokul and Tamal-trees, and due to great ecstasy she
sat down there. Ma Jahnava met Shrila Jiva Goswami in
Vrindavan who informed Her of the precarious condition of
Shrila Raghunatha Das Goswami, who felt intense love-in-
separation from the elder goswamis Sri Rupa, Sri Sanatana and
Sri Gopal Bhatta, who had already left the planet. Shrila Jiva
Goswami brought Shrila Raghunatha Das Goswami from his
bhajan-kutir.
He clearly made the point that actually a true sad-guru only feels
like an instrument. He never thinks of doing anything himself.
Everything he does is out of the mercy of his own Sri Gurudeva.
51
I fell on the ground and paid my obeisances and getting up, my
Gurudeva said to me in a very loving, childlike-funny-way:
Come with me! I felt like a little manjari, being called by her
guru-manjari wonderful!
So I went after him on the inner path around the samadhi of Srila
Raghunatha das Goswami. It was pure ecstasy. I then said
goodbye and I told him that we will come back next week. He
smiled and waved his blessings.
Back at the bus, Maharaja and the others were waiting already
for some few minutes.
Then it was time to get back to the bus and finally back to Sri
Vrindavana, to our home, Sri Mungir Mandir. We safely arrived
at about 2040h, fully in bliss, but also tired and ready for bed.
52
Today would be the day Govinda priya and I decided to marry in
front of Sri Sri Radha Mohan and in the presence of Srila Sadhu
Maharaja. He agreed to this day and I invited everyone to join
the festivities. Maharaja planned a huge prasadam feast and he
asked me to cook pasta in the evening. Days before, Kanhai das
and I went to the ISKCON shop to buy the Italian penne
noodles, Mozarella cheese, Olive oil and the tomato sauce.
The dressing of the bride started at about 1300h and would not be
completed before 1615h.
53
When Govinda priya dd arrived, I couldnt believe my
eyesWhat a transformation!
Soon the priest started the ceremony and we were into the
marriage-zone. So many loving faces around us and Maharaja
watching from the temple-courtyard like a loving father.
At the end, the husband must give 7 promises to the bride and the
bride has to give 4 promises to the husband. The priest was not
able to convey the meaning of the promises in English, so he
called Maharaja for help and mercifully, Srila Sadhu Maharaja
sat next to us and explained all 11 promises to us, sometimes
laughing out very loudly. This was truly a wonderful experience
to have him sit next to you while giving the promises. Boy oh
boy, did we laugh hard. Mainly Maharaja, actually.
Then our garments had been knotted and the ceremony was over,
ending in a rousing kirtan in front of Sri Sri Radha Mohan.
During the kirtan I had to sneak out to cook the Italian pasta
together with Raseshvara das and Kanhai das. And I think we
did a wonderful job, according to the amount of pasta-prasadam
the people were devouring!
54
What a spectacular day! What a great blessing from Sri Sri Radha
Mohan and Srila Sadhu Maharaja. Unbelievably happy we went
to bed that night, for quite some time not able to find some sleep.
Today was the day of the other two couples. Every one of the
family-members was very excited!
Again, the brides took their time in being made beautiful, but
again, it was well worth it.
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just very very blissful to sit with Maharaja and chant, relax and
occasionally talk.
But this night, we talked about very intimate and personal things
and we both left utterly stunned and completely overwhelmed
with the mercy and the love Maharaja had just showered upon
us.
But like all great souls, she saw everything in the right light: pain
in Vrindavan means ultra-purification and she was glad that she
endured the night.
She slept half of the next day and like a miracle, she got up in the
afternoon, back in very good shape, ready to dive into the ocean
of seva again.
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It was thought out by Syamali dd and performed by Sriman
Narottama das, the head-pujari.
Otherwise, the New Years day went very peacefully. For lunch,
some very nice Colombian devotees prepared a huge amount of
pizza and everybody loved it.
Not much was on the agenda for these days, except, of course,
SADHU-SANGA par excellence!
Bhagavad-gita 18.2:
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- diksha-guru
- siksha-guru
- caitya-guru
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1. Sraddha faith
8. Bhava ecstasy, the first rays of the sun of love for Krsna
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Of course we took with us two very nice slices of fresh pizza for
our beloved Maharaja.
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In the evening Srila Sadhu Maharaja blessed us to go to Sri
Radhakunda tomorrow to have another darshan with my
beloved Srila Gurudeva, Sri Ananta das Babaji Maharaja.
This morning I was alone with Srila Sadhu Maharaja and he told
me many helpful things for further enhancement of my spiritual
life.
After a nice drive to the most Holy Lake, we were on our way to
my Gurudevas ashram.
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we clearly felt Srila Sadhu Maharajas blessings on our back to
be in the presence of my Gurudeva so intimately.
This time, by looking him straight into his loving eyes, he told me
with a voice from his heart into my heart: Yes, I love you. My
heart nearly exploded. I cannot really really explain what I felt,
but it was pure ecstasy. His eyes spoke to my heart! I couldnt
look away. After this, I floated above the earth and it was a
confirmation of such a sweet nature. Of course it wasnt
necessary, but still my humble self needed it and my Gurudeva
blessed me with this darshan.
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Everybody in the room was shot full of spiritual energy and we
all bowed down in respect. Everybody felt deeply the love he
radiates and everybody bathed in it.
Later that evening I was alone with him and I told him that I
never met with my Gurudeva in such a way. Maharaja smiled
sweetly and said sheepishly: That is because you are with me.
We laughed very hard and then we decided to go to sleep.
Day of departure. After such intense days, it was not very easy to
go away from our beloved Srila Sadhu Maharaja and his nectar-
devotees. But it had to be done and we did it with some tears and
a heavy, but immensely happy heart.
It was the very best days in our little spiritual life and words
escape me AGAIN to describe my deep love and thankfulness for
my most beloved siksha-guru, HG Srila BV Sadhu Maharaja. We
were very fortunate to have been living with a sadhu of such a
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high caliber this time not in frivolous America, but in Radhas
realm, Sri Vrindavana.
To the devotees there and last, but NEVER least to Sri Sri Radha
Mohan, Who let us live in Their most wonderful temple.
Watching Them on the altar was like gazing into the spiritual
world. You could not NOT be drawn into Their loving embrace!
Jay Vrindavana-dhama!
And to end this journal I want to try to show the glories of a true
sadhu, Srila BV Sadhu Maharaja:
(1)
sri-guru-carana-padma, kevala-bhakati-sadma,
bando mui savadhana mate
jahara prasade bhai, e bhava toriya jai,
krsna-prapti hoy jaha hate
The lotus feet of the spiritual master are the abode of pure devotional
service. I bow down to those lotus feet with great care and attention. My
dear brother (my dear mind)! It is through the grace of the spiritual
master that we cross over this material existence and obtain Krsna.
Sitting at the lotus feet of Srila Sadhu Maharaja, you have to feel
relief from the material burning existence.To be in his presence,
all is well. The soul feels home and the winds blow favourably.
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Srila Sadhu Maharaja truly is the abode of pure bhakti, bhakti for
his beloved Ishta-deva, Sri Sri Radha Mohan. He sees Them in
every soul and he is a master in bringing everybody close to
Them. For me, there is no doubt. I lived with him now two times
2 weeks 24/7 and everyone of us who did this and some did more
can testify! Maharaja lives and breathes pure Radha-Mohan-
bhakti.
(2)
Make the teachings from the lotus mouth of the spiritual master one with
your heart, and do not desire anything else. Attachment to the lotus feet of
the spiritual master is the best means of spiritual advancement. By his
mercy all desires for spiritual perfection are fulfilled.
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(3)
(4)
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O spiritual master, ocean of mercy, and friend of the fallen souls, you are
the teacher of everyone and the life of all people. O master! Be merciful
unto me, and give me the shade of your lotus feet. May your glories now
be proclaimed throughout the three worlds.
I also could see how he tirelessly cares for all devotees living
there in the Mungir Mandir. And I mean ALL. Not a single
devotee he lets out of sight. When Gopal Shakti dd was sick,
Maharaja felt it and ordered us to check on her. Unbelievable.
I love you with all my heart and soul and I can never repay you
my debts. Your love and patience helped me to become a better
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person and your spiritual guidance of love-in-action helped me to
see and realize what it takes to become a devotee.
In deep affection
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Part 4 - Moments of truth during days of love
Very early in the morning, like about 5:00 am, we started our car
for the airport. Srila Gurudevas flight was scheduled to land at
7:20am. And after some time of exciting anticipation, the door
opened and a radiating Srila Gurudeva came out of the arrival
door with a big smile and raised hands, ready for some nice
welcome-hugs!
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completely in ecstasy about the wonderful breakfast-brunch
which was about to be opened and served. So after some minutes
of final preparations, we joyfully ate breakfast in the company of
our beloved Srila Gurudeva.
After the rich and huge breakfast, Srila Gurudeva needed some
rest to cover up the jetlag.
After Srila Gurudeva had nicely rested, our friends Silke and
Franzi decided to ask him for harinam-initiation. Silkes husband
Fritz joined them as a silent observer.
Srila Gurudeva spoke to them for a good time and then called me
telepathically (NO JOKE!) and I joined them in Gurudevas
room. He then initiated them and gave them new names: Krishna
priya dd (Franzi) and Gaura priya dd (Silke). Fritz was not really
sure about the whole thing, but Gurudeva decided to initiate him
anyway, right on the spot. So Fritz happily accepted the offer and
was awarded with the name Gauravani das.
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My wife Govinda priya dd acted as a visiting-co-ordinator and
after Jahnava dd and her friend, Arjuna entered with his wife and
daughter, together with me as a translator.
And here the first miracle of many to come happened: Arjuna das
had many questions in his mind, some quite intense in nature.
Srila Gurudeva just spoke on the principles of bhakti in a very
essential way and unbelievingly so, all of Arjunas questions were
answered without him speaking them out loudSrila Gurudeva
masterfully read his mind and gave him answers which Arjuna
das loved to hear and promised to set in effect in his life. I was
totally stunned about the expertise of our beloved Gurudeva.
Later on, our dear friend Dagmar and her son Daniel Finn
Govinda were next in line and Srila Gurudeva very warmly
welcomed them and talked to them very nicely about who the
yare and what they do and gave them heartfelt blessings.
The day went on and on until late at night with Srila Gurudeva
answering questions and us engaging in bhajans, everything done
in our living room.
What a wonderful first day with many people and with our
beloved Srila Gurudeva as the center of our attraction and love.
With a filled heart, the guests left in a loving mood and we all
went to bed extremely satisfied and spiritually enriched. It
seemed that this day had more than 24 hours in it!
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After a satisfying night-rest for all of us, especially for Srila
Gurudeva, we had a nice healthy breakfast and then some more
guests were coming. Jahnava dd decided to stay the whole week,
Premavati dd could stay one more day, the Karunas were still
here in bliss and at 11:00h, we drove to the nearest train station to
welcome our dear sister Shyamali dd from Switzerland who was
eager to see her beloved Gurudeva too.
Also our brother Tirthanga das, who lives nearby, decided to visit
us for breakfast.
The plan was, that after breakfast, Tirthanga das would drive
Gurudeva to his home for a private time and that we would all
come 1 hour later for an evening of bhajans and Gurudevas hari-
katha.
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Here it means Srimati Radhika and then the line means Sri
Krishna Caitanya Radhika and Krishna are now Caitanya.
Gurudeva very nicely explained then line after line, tattva after
tattva. Everyone was mesmerized by his wonderful words with
deep meaning.
Again, this day number 2 was absolutely full of love, wisdom and
deep inner bliss.
Again we felt, that the day had about 30 or more hours in it.
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to a private talk. Soon also Gauranga das, the brother of Jahnava
dd arrived. He too wanted to speak with Gurudeva in private.
After some time, Upaguru das came out of the room and he was
deeply moved by his encounter with a real sadhu. He was the
first person who accepted me as I am with his whole heart. I have
never experienced anything like this. Gurudeva promised to him
that he would always be there for Upaguru das and needless to
say, Upaguru das was very very happy. Next in line was our
brother Gauranga das. He waited a long time to be finally able to
speak with Gurudeva in private.
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74
Will matter be redeemed or not? The Saviour answered: All things in
nature, every creature and every person exist with and in each other.
Everything will be dissolved to their own roots, but not the root. Because
all matter can only be dissolved to ist own root. Who has ears may hear!
Then Peter spoke: You let us realize everything. Please now tell us this:
What is the sin of the world? The Saviour said: In truth, there really
exists no sin at all. But you create sin by your actions. Sin is born by the
divorce of a marriage (between the soul and God). That is called sin. But
therefore all the good came into your midst, to every creature, only to be
reinstated in your own root.
Then we also read from an essay called About the soul from
the letters to Reginus. There it is stated that the soul is female in
nature and God is the only male. By forgetting our real nature we
identify with our bodies and senses and actually divorce ourselves
from God. It is written that if the soul lokks for satisfaction in the
kingdom of the senses then she is like a prostitute, running from
man to man.
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mention these passages throughout the whole tour. And we loved
to him him explain our own Christian heritage!
After some hours, the time for the first official evening program
was near. So we happily walked from Jahnavas place to the
Moksha-yoga centre (15 minutes walking distance). It was
wonderful to walk with Gurudeva through the sunny Mannheim
and many people watched him with open mouth At 18:30h we
started the program with wonderful bhajans and slowly the room
filled up until it really was packed with people. This year,
Gurudeva, after having experienced the boom of kirtan in the
US, put more emphasis on singing holy mantras. So we sang
beautiful mantras, ending in the Hare-Krishna-maha-mantra and
then Gurudeva elaborated more on the subject matter of the
afternoon. He talked about the meaning of yoga. He said that
yoga means to re-connect with our root, with our soul and to re-
establish our relationship with the cause of that root (God). It
was a very nice lecture and Gurudeva always knows how much
the audience can digest.
76
And again, with a heart filled to the brim, we all went to bed in
spiritual bliss, some of us not really able tro sleep.
77
But soon it was time to say goodbye to our dearest family
members, Karuna Mohanji and Karuna Mayi dd. It was very
unreal and nobody wanted the time to march on. But what can
be done? With a heavy heart, but full of experienced bliss we
hugged each other warmly and with deep love we separated from
them and we wished them a safe journey to their home in South
Italy. What wonderful devotees, what a wonderful association we
had been lucky to have with them. The are like jewels with hearts
of gold.
After taking bath, Gurudeva was there for everyone and really, I
mean for everyone. All devotees sat together around a big table
and slowly slowly more and more guests came in. Gurudeva was
already the centre of all attraction.
Then I saw Tulasi dd and her sister Lalita dd who had just
arrived, completely excited and with tears running from their
eyes. I was so happy for them! Finally they had the chance to
meet Gurudeva! And up they went and straight into a big
welcome-hug of Srila Gurudeva. He was very happy to see them
and they were in full ecstasy, not knowing if it is real or just a
dream.
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Srila Gurudeva is the most kind soul here on earth. This is now
the 3rd time I am with him for more than 1o days and I am
constantly stunned about how much love he is pouring out from
his huge heart, drenched in love for Sri Sri Radha Mohan.
Everybody, devotee or total stranger is drawn into his love like a
little car into the eye of a hurricane. You just have to accept the
mighty flow!
Also our dear sister Kalindi dd arrived and what a pleasure it was
for Gurudeva to meet with her!
79
I was already in the kitchen cooking the evening prasadam, but I
heard that Gurudeva and the devotees decided to have break for
1 hour and then start at 19:00h.
So, 19:00h came and the room was nicely decorated and more
and more people came in. I think there had been about 40-50
people altogether.
So I did what I had been told and he had me read the translation:
Text 13-14
advesta sarva-bhutanam
maitrah karuna eva ca
nirmamo nirahankarah
sama-duhkha-sukhah ksami
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Translation
One who is not envious but is a kind friend to all living entities, who does
not think himself a proprietor and is free from false ego, who is equal in
both happiness and distress, who is tolerant, always satisfied, self-
controlled, and engaged in devotional service with determination, his
mind and intelligence fixed on Mesuch a devotee of Mine is very dear
to Me.
Srila Gurudeva then went to his room and a few of his disciples
(including me) went with him and literally brought him to bed,
like actually every evening. These minutes (sometimes more than
minutesLOL) are the most wonderful moments in our spiritual
life: when you are close to Gurudeva, when he agrees to let you
81
come close, to let you approach him how happy these moments
make him and of course, us.
This day was the BIG ekadasi day where one fasts even from
water.
You can not believe how happy both of them were! They struggle
with material life and they opened up their heart and soul during
the initiation. Gurudeva asked them many question and seriously
wanted to know if they are ready for this step. Since both wanted
me there and Gurudeva also ordered me to be there, I could
feel the seriousness in the air. Both sisters said they have now
suffered enough and they want to give up the straining material
life. They told Gurudeva that they never felt like having a real
father and with tears in their eyes they begged for his mercy
because they had nobody else to turn to. I too had tears in my
eyes, but mostly from the mercy Srila Gurudeva showered them
82
with. I have hardly seen him so kind, gentle and merciful but
serious nonetheless, like a true sadguru. He said that from now
on, he would be their father, that he would take care of them. But
he daid that they must be ready to accept his mercy by changing
their lives for the good. It really was a heart-touching initiation
and soon they received their new Tulasi priya dd and Lalita
priya dd. They shed tears of joy and thankfulness and I witnessed
one more miracle from the greatest magician, Srila Gurudeva!
She was very happy and her heart went out to Gurudeva.
The drive was very pleasant and we all met with excitement on
the street in front of the yoga-centre in Heidelberg. Srila
Gurudeva was with Zak and they had a nice little fresh-air and
we met them as soon as I parked the car. They were walking
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towards the yoga-centre and we mystically met in
timewonderful, right?
84
inner thinking, where the mind cannot leave the Divine Couple.
Gurudeva said that this state of being means that we see our
beloved Sri Sri Radha Mohan everywhere in this world, in every
circumstance and in every being we meet. This is real samadhi.
And to share your love in this state.
We all chilled-out a little bit more and the owner, Tom, thanked
Gurudeva at the very end for being here and for his beautiful
lecture. He was very touched and completely in bliss about the
evening in his centre.
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was fully on the spiritual platform whereas many of us were
fighting brother sleepwhat a wonderful day. Again.
Upaguru das was fully inspired and very eager to ask Gurudeva
for initiation and since he was the one who brought me to
Krishna consciousness, you cant begin to understand how happy
I was for him and he said that he would come whatever it may
take. The problem was that he worked nightshifts, but his
inspiration was so incredible huge that he said that he could sleep
later.
Our friend Zakarya also was very eager to come by and ask for
initiation from Srila Gurudeva.
Jay Govinda das and his girlfriend Lalita dasi also said that they
wanted to come, Tribhanga das and his wife too and Suniti dd
and Gaurasundara das wanted to bring with them Sunitis
mother.
86
love were running down her cheeks. Diksha-initiation from such
an elevated soul will change your life forever and the REAL
spiritual life for our beloved sister can begin NOW.
I control NOTHINGlol
87
He promised Suniti dd that she will see how her mother will
leave this body heading for Krishnas realm. Sweet!
Then pretty soon after this, our brother Zakarya came and he was
excited like anything. He knew that his old life would be over
from today on, hahaha.
After them our new sisters Tulsi priya dd and Lalita priya dd
arrived.
They rented a room near our village and they decided to stay
until Sunday morning. So after initiation in Nrtingen on
Wednesday, they cherished every moment of our beloved
Gurudevas association and they also loved to be with us all.
Sweet!
Jaga Mohan das was so happy, no words can desribe what I saw
in his eyes. Bliss and more bliss
88
OoopsI forgot to tell that also Tribhanga das and his wife
Subhadra dd had arrived with Suniti dd too.
Meanwhile Jay Govinda das and his lady Lalita dd arrived and
the house was beaming in bliss. And then Amala Krishna das too
came by for a visit. I was still cooking and he helped me finish
everything for the offering to my Mohan Giridhari.
About 14:00h, Gurudeva and many devotees left for the house of
Narahari das in Karlsruhe, the city where the evening program
was scheduled to begin at 17:30h.
Fantastic stuff happened: Jaga Mohan das was here with his
awesome car, a Mazda coup and he invited Gurudeva to drive
with open deck through the sunny day to Karlsruhe. What a
sight!
89
We all met at 17:00h in the Yoga-Vidya-centre in Karlsruhe.
Everything was prepared nicely. For this day, Tribhanga das and
his wife offered to cook dinner-prasadam.
90
Many more questions then followed with very sweet and
sometimes funny answers by Gurudeva.
At the end, we again did some nice bhajans and the last bhajan
ended in a rousing kirtan where the whole room began to dance
wildly. Finally, Gurudeva stood up and joined the dance and
how sweetly he moved around in the crowd. The atmosphere
reached yet unkown heights. At one point, I had to leave my
mridanga (drum)-playing to eat some prasadam and boy, what a
nectarean feast was prepared outside. Lasagne, subji, salad,
chutney, sweetseverything was waiting there. Gurudeva
already sneaked out during one of the last bhajans only to return
with renewed vigor and strength, so I thought I will do the same.
Outside the big room, many people had gathered around tables,
enjoying Krishnas prasadam. So I joined them for a while. After
I was finished, I went back in the big room and to my
amazement, everybody was sitting around Gurudevas seat, just
watching him and occasionally he would talk with someone very
nicely and very sweetly. More and more people joined us.
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I NEVER experienced a program like this and I NEVER saw
Gurudeva any happier, and I saw a lot of programs!
But like all things, this wonderful evening came to an end too.
And the best was this: Since the Hamsas were sleeping in our
bed, my wife went down in the wintergarden-ashram and I was
allowed to sleep in Gurudevas roomactually he had asked me
before to sleep in his room, but I also wanted to support my
lovely wife who went to her bodily limits everyda and who was
happy to have me with her through the night as a cuddle-support.
But this night, I could not refuse Gurudevas wish and I happily
agreed to sleep on the floor in his room.
92
some fantastic pancakes for him and some great salad. The rest of
us shared the remnants of bygone feasts and we also plundered
the rest from our fridge.
So after breakfast, the Hamsas had to leave for their place near
Lake Constance and Shyamali dd had to leave for her home in
Zurich. Kalindi dd too had to go home to her two beautiful kids.
Tulsi priya dd and Lalita dd already said goodbye yesterday, so it
was time to pack our things to embark on the second part of the
German tour. Suniti dd and Gaurasundara das took Shyamali dd
to the train station and then they headed to the house of Karuna
dd. Srila Gurudeva decided to drive with our beloved sister
Premavati dd who was in full ecstasy about this news.
93
some friends of her too and she and her fabulous two daughters
served out a lunch which clearly was not from this world. So,
Govinda priya dd and me joined them immediately, wheras we
started with the vegetables and the rest was feasting on cake(s)!
The program was scheduled for about 18:00h and slowly the first
guests arrived.
Tirthanga das and Diana, Jaga Mohan das, Radhanatha das, Jay
Govinda das and Lalita dd, Ren and a friend of Jahnava
ddGurudeva couldnt trust his eyes anymoremore and more
people filled up the house unable to tolerate separation from him.
He was visibly touched by the love all these people showed, some
of them driving more than 2,5 hoursHe was in ecstasy.
94
will not be able to receive that kind of love if we dont start
practicing this love here in this world. We should always be in
samadhi, always see the Divine Couplke in all arrangements
here on earth. And internally we should fix our SELVES in our
eternal form, which is by nature a female form. He again
explained that female means here to be enjoyed by the only
male, Krishna.
It was completely amazing that our tough atheist and strict non-
believer Ren again came andhe stayed overnight with his
lady Jahnava ddready to come on tour til Wednesdaywhich
turned out to be Thursday nightLOL.
After everyone had left, we all went with Gurudeva to his room
where Premavati dd massaged him very gently. Again weh ad the
fortune of being so incredibly close with Gurudeva. We felt so
blessed. Gurudeva loves these moments of tranquility in his
room, preferably with some of his disciples. So we sat there and
95
boy oh boy, what a fantastic dialogue came forthRen had
many questions and Gurudeva expertly answered them. But not
only this. Gurudeva felt that something in Ren s heart was
about to change. The man already was very soft now after all
these days in Gurudevas and our association
But this night, Gurudeva talked to his soul. He told Ren things
he could never know from a pure materialistic standard. Ren
received a very astonishing and puzzling (for him!) what is in
esoteric circles known as reading. It was utterly mind-blowing
what Gurudeva said to him and in which waylike a father who
talked to long-lost son. And Ren loved it. It was very serious and
really soul-touching how Gurudeva reached out to a man who
presented himself so tough and strong. But Gurudeva spoke
directly to his heart and Ren therefore could accept everything
Gurudeva saidlike a disciple would.
Good night.
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1)
2)
97
Since I was in ISKCON from 1989 until about 1997, I too was
initiated by Srila Harikesa Swami and I knew and still know
many of the devotees living here very well. We all went through
wonderful times with our main temple back then based in
Heidelberg.
98
After she came back we talked nicely and it became a very soul-
touching discussion. Again, we were stunned about Krishnas
plan, since soon we realized that weh ad a very deep connection
with each other. Sita dd revealed to us that she misses devotee-
association very much, especially with like-minded devotees.
And this is also what Gurudeva is always telling us.
After like 2 hours more, everything was done and the doc told
Srila Gurudeva which medication he should from now on take. It
was clear that he should take A LOT of Vitamin D and B12,
since these depots had been very low for a good amount of time.
So the doc gave Gurudeva some medicine and told us that he
would send more to our place where we would be on Thursday
and Friday.
There the devotees had been preparing a nice lunch for us.
99
We arrived at about 15:00h and it was very nice to see
Vishvadeva das since such a long time. Gaurasundara das and
Suniti dd and with them Annapurna dd were already in kitchen-
ecstasy, preparing a delicious pizza for their deities.
Srila Gurudeva was shown his room by the house owner and
after that we accepted prasadam together on the table in
Vishvadeva das living room.
The pizza was fantastic and we ate with full gusto. Then Srila
Gurudeva decided to take some rest.
But Vishvadeva das didnt want to hear this and said that we will
find a space for my lovely wife.
100
And by the mercy of Gaurasundara das and Suniti dd, who gave
my wife the little room, it all went out fine. They love their
Wohnwagen-mobil and so they slept there.
More and more guests streamed inTirthanga das with his wife
and little daughter, Gopalsundara das and many more, also from
the temple-community.
And even Ren came and was determined to stay for the rest of
the tour.
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home-satsang tomorropw at 15:00hWoweverything
developed so fastGurudevas mercy was flowing so mighty and
free! Everyone could feel his caring and his radiating, all-
encompassing love. The hearts melted and we left the temple at
about 20:30h.
This night before falling asleep Gurudeva and I talked about the
day. I told him that I was so touched and so happy for the
devotees here in this place and Gurudeva told me that he loved
the time in the temple and that he felt like being in Vraja-dhama.
I told him that he is like a touchstone who transforms everything
and everyone into love. He just said that all is happening by his
Gurudevas mercy and by the mercy of his ishta-deva, Sri Sri
Radha Mohan.
102
met both of them around 1989 in Heidelberg and her husband
visited me in my city (Karlsruhe) many times and together we
arrange wonderful programs for the students of my university. I
cooked a huge feast and he spoke about bhakti-philosophy.
It was very nice to see how Gurudeva re-opened their hearts and
how their eyes started to shine more and more, sometimes near to
tears
Dhanu dds husband, Hriday Govinda das, met her when she
came to work (he works there too, at Govindas). She told him
that Srila Sadhu Maharaja is at Vishvadeva das place. And then
it shook himHe instantly left their building, telling: I have to
meet him.
This was stunning for all of them knowing him and working with
him. He was a disciple of Srila Harikesa Swami too and after he
left, Hriday Govinda das was very disappointed and he stopped
doing bhakti-yoga and in due course of time he even grew a little
bit inimical towards the devotees. He just wanted to be left alone.
We were all still sitting in the living room when the doorbell
rang.
Hriday Govinda das came in, fell to the feet of Gurudeva and
told him this: I had to meet you. I know that you are now my
Gurudeva. Srila Prabhupada appeared to me last week to tell me
to go and meet with you. Here I am. Please accept me as your
disciple.
103
I was moved to tears and I guess everyone there was too. Here a
58-year old man fell to the feet of Gurudeva with tears of joy in
his eyesI couldnt believe what I saw. This was incredible.
After many many years of intensive sadhana, this nice soul found
his shelter in Gurudeva.
104
philosophy and that his heart was extremely touched. Ren by
the way was over-nighting in a very special place in the
Abentheuer-temple, where no MAN dares to sleepLOL.
Srila Gurudeva was very surprised and told them at once that he
must see him. So he went in the husbands room and had a
strong talk with the man. He was very compassionate but he also
strongly recommended that he should never give up and that he
should try to overcome his depression.
105
Soon, we were all back in the living room, except for my wife.
She lovingly talked with the husband and somehow or another,
by Gurudevas mercy, she inspired him to get up from his bed.
And to the surprise of everyone, he actually entered the living
room and joined our little satsang.
After some time, Tirthanga das with his whole family appeared
againHe drove home last night because of his elder daughter
and today he came with whole family. Gurudeva gave him a very
long hug and we continued singing holy songs.
106
During one bhajan, Gurudeva said into my ears: Tesam satatam
yuktanam
tesm satata-yuktnm
bhajatm prti-prvakam
yena mm upaynti te
107
And to have a relationship, we need to know who we truly are.
Again he let Gaurahari das quote Srila Prabhupada where he
says that every living soul has her eternal form, her eternal
svarupa. It is our first goal to awake this svarupa and from there
on try to form a loving relationship with Krishna. This is what
Krishna means when He talks about giving the understanding.
Service must be ego-free and done out of love. We can only love
Krishna when we start to love our own self and all the others who
come into contact with our self. We must start to love here in this
world, because if we fail here, what can we expect from loving in
the spiritual world. So weh ave to be always in good association.
What kind of association? Srila Gurudeva told us about the
meeting of Raya Ramananda and Sriman Mahaprabhu. Raya
Ramananda met Sriman Mahaprabhu and they fell to the floor in
total ecstasy. Why? Because Mahaprabhu was in the mood of
Radhika and Raya Ramananda is Vishakha dd in Krishna-lila. So
actually, it was like meeting your very best friend. But they had to
stop their ecstasy. Why? Because they were not in the proper
association. Raya Ramananda was with brahmanas who only
love their rituals. They could never understand or feel these
deepest emotions which both displayed during their meeting. So
Mahaprabhu and Raya Ramananda scheduled another, more
private meeting in the evening, then in proper association. When
we are not in the right association, our bhakti cant grow very far.
We need svajati-association. We need to be together with like-
minded souls in the same mood. Then real love in action can
exist and grow. To serve means love in action. Everything we
do must be drenched in the consciousness of love.
108
He also spoke about guru-tattva. By serving the guru, who is an
expansion of Srimati Radhika, a manjari in his eternal form, we
can understand everything.
One question was about our eternal form. Srila Gurudeva told us,
that first we will know the form of our Guru-manjari, then we
will know the form of our Ishta-deva and then we will realize our
own true form.
Again, I had the fortune to sleep with Gurudeva in one room and
he told me that today was a very special day. I told him that he
transormed the hearts of many sincere devotees today who all
went through a very hard time.
109
I again realized that every soul needs the association of such a
wonderful person like Srila Sadhu Maharaja. He again
demonstrated his glorious expertise by giving his unconditional
love to so many different recipients. It was like a miracle to
beholdwatching hearts melt, tears flow, faces shine and smiles
grow biggerwonderful.
Again, Srila Gurudeva had nice long talk with the chief, Dhanu
dd, and we all strolled around, checking stuff out.
110
So on we went for a last darshan of Sri Sri Radha Madana
Mohan. And beware, kalosmi Krishna says in the Bhagavad-
gita and oh yes, He is the time.
So, everyone had a very very nice lunch-meal which was not
from this world. Gurudeva was very nicely received again and
the local devotees fell in love with him. It was wonderful to
behold.
111
Govinda priya dd and me, Gaurasundara das and Suniti dd with
our beloved Gurudeva.
So I preached to him about the glories of the Holy Name and the
effect on our soul. About the glories of Gurudeva I didnt need to
say anything more. Ren had this justified fear that he would
enter a cult or a sect. He therefore didnt want a spiritual name
so that everyone can see that he is a Krishna-devotee. So he first
wanted initiation without a name. Then, after my treatment, he
chose to receive a spiritual name from Gurudeva.
112
So Ren gathered a new tulasi-neckbead and a new japa-mala
from Suniti dd and then we went into the chamber where
Gurudeva rested. It was very sweet and very intimate. Gurudeva
took his hands, put the mala in the hands, covered it with his
hands and told me to also put my hand on top. In this way,
Gurudeva chanted the maha-mantra 4-5 times and we all
repeated with Ren. Then Gurudeva revealed a far-out name: He
named Ren Bali das. Gurudeva told us, that one of Sri
Balaramas nicknames is Bali. And again Gurudeva proved to
us that he can read minds easily. This name will make nobody
suspicious. Not many know this intimate nickname of Sri
Balarama. And no, it is NOT for Bali Maharaja.
Ren, now called Bali Baba sweetly, was completely happy. And
we again stared in wonder about the great magician, Srila
Gurudeva. What an afternoon!
113
When we know this, we are always in satsang. On the bodily
platform of course it mean to be in the association of true and ral
people who have the same mood and the same goal.
It was very late when weh ad to leave and drive to our last stop
on this first part of the German tour. We left at about 23:00h and
we arrived at Sadhu Mas (formerly known as Asanga dd) place
late in the night at about 0:45h.
114
Where are you sleeping? he asked me. In the other room. We
all sleep there, Gurudeva. Its fine.
No. You sleep here. Stay with me. They will arrange mattress
for you.
115
impression. And at the end, the room looked ready for a
wonderful evening.
Many people from around the area and some from a little further.
Dandadhrik das and his wife from Cologne came, and slowly
slowly it was time to start the program with bhajans. Gurudeva
decided to join the bhajans a little later so that he could still sit
with the guests who loved to see him in the frontyard of Mas
house.
116
das came with his girlfriend and kid. Pretty soon, Srila Gurudeva
entered the room and the atmosphere gained in spiritual weight
and density. He sat down on one of the two prepared and
nicely flower-wise decorated tables (one was for the translator,
me). No, I didnt want to boost my ego. Gurudeva ordered it like
that. :-D
Soon Jahnava dd sang, then Tirthanga das and again the last
bhajan ended in a tumultous dancing session where even
Gurudeva joined in. Slowly nearly all the guests were dancing.
117
been to be able to host Gurudeva and to organize such a fantastic
program.
One lady asked what his few was of the Buddhistic philosophy.
The monk told Gurudeva that like a glass is full of water, the aim
is to empty the glass and drink the water. So, similarly, we all
should be empty like a glass. We should make our Selves empty.
118
Also he again refererred to the gospel of Maria Magdalena and
the concept of the soul being the female bride and God being the
groom.
The audience was completely happy and having seen now many
programs with Gurudeva, I safely can say that this was one of the
best programs and really a dignified ending of the first part of his
German tour. It was like a family reunion and more.
Many people today came forward and asked him for initiation.
So the candidates and Gurudeva and a few of us walked over to
Mas house and Gurudeva blessed some wonderful and happy
souls with harinama-initiation and diksha-initiation. I was
especially happy for Madhuri das, now VRAJA Madhuri das and
his wife Vandana dd, now Shiva Vandana dd and some of their
regular guests like now Ragini dd and Keshava priya dd and
some others more. Gurudeva was extremely happy with the
whole event. Soon after, Jay Govinda das and Lalita dd came in
after the initiations and checked on Gurudevas health. Then
they had to leave for their home.
119
When she arrived it was a very wonderful reunion with her since
she left our house days before which seem like weeks
We sat there with Gurudeva and then the moment came where
had to tell Gurudeva, that we must leave because we need some
days in our house where we have to prepare ourselves for the
starting of school next week.
How can you leave before I leave. Impossible. Half joking, half
serious
See you soon! And with his smile in our mind, we walked to
our car and drove off.
If you want to know what I realized about his glory, check these
verses and you know everything about him. He LIVES and
BREATHES these ultimative verses.
120
And if someone would ask me to describe Gurudeva, I would
show him these verses and tell him or her, that Gurudeva
EMBODIES them. Now. Here on this planet. Go see him!
mm eva sarva-bhtesu
bahir antar apvrtam
ksettmani ctmnam
yath kham amalayah
With a pure heart one should see Me, the Supreme Soul within
all beings and also within oneself, to be both unblemished by
anything material and also present everywhere, both externally
and internally, just like the omnipresent sky.
O brilliant Uddhava, one who thus views all living entities with
the idea that I am present within each of them, and who by
taking shelter of this divine knowledge offers due respect to
everyone, is considered actually wise. Such a man sees equally
the brhmana and the outcaste, the thief and the charitable
promoter of brahminical culture, the sun and the tiny sparks of
fire, the gentle and the cruel.
121
rmad Bhgavatam 11.29.15
Dear Gurudeva,
Thank you for tolerating this fool here for nearly 12 days in your
presence.
122
THE FINDHOF ADVENTURE
Last winter, my wife Govinda Priya and me, Tarun Govinda das,
visited Sripad Sadhu Maharaja in his beautiful Munger Mandir in
Vrindavana.
As always, the time came, right at the end of our stay, to talk about
the tour of Sripad Sadhu Maharaja (from here on now called Srila
Gurudeva) which would take place in the beginning of summer
2014.
Srila Gurudeva asked me to plan the US-tour together with the
devotees there and then we sat together to talk about the European
which should follow the US-tour.
http://www.findhof.de/
Those of you who know Srila Gurudeva are very much aware of the
fact that he can "feel himself" into something which is still "in the
future".
And I was amazed how strong his reaction was when he heard about
the "Findhof". He immediately said: "I will go there. You have to
organize a nice festival there. No doubt, I will go there. I will plan
my tour in the US so that we can be at the "Findhof" at the given
time."
Suniti dd was happy beyond measurement and I was still astonished
that Gurudeva immediately agreed to go to this place.
He loves Suniti dd very much and trusts her decisions
wholeheartedly. So we planned the tour of Gurudeva accordingly.
Day 1: June 16th
The lovely couple nicely decorated their apartment and the living
room is very big with a most sweet altar with Radha Krishna deities.
So we sat there and we all chatted with Gurudeva who was so
pleased and happy to meet all of us.
He told us about his experiences in the USA and he said that this
year was the best year and he could go very deep in the philosophy
of love. He said that he constantly spoke of realizing our eternal
svarupa in loving relationship to Srimati Radhika which is the
highest goal brought to us by Sri Gauranga Mahaprabhu.
Slowly more and more guests arrived and the gathering grew bigger
and bigger.
We started with bhajans and then Srila Gurudeva started his lecture.
He let Suniti dd read the text on the back of her newly published
book, the German translation of Srila Narayana Maharajas "Hidden
path of devotion".
Suniti dd did an excellent job in choosing this book and she most
wonderfully published a very nice German edition. Gurudeva was
very very happy with her amazing efforts.
So she read the text on the back, describing the subject matter of this
book, namely Sripad Vishvanatha Cakravartipadas "Raga-vartma-
chandrika" which is discussed and explained by Srila Narayana
Maharaja.
It is said there that the book "Raga-vartma-chandrika" is like a
moonbeam in the darkest night which shows us the way to our goal,
pure love to Radha and Krishna, expressed in our RAGA or passion
for the service to the Divine Couple.
Srila Gurudeva compared the dark night with the ignorance in our
hearts. We forgot about our eternal nature and therefore we are in the
dark night of the soul.
He explained that love or BHAKTI is like the full moon illuminating
the dark night. With BHAKTI we can have light on our way to our
goal. We need this light. Where there is light, there can never be
darkness.
Srila Gurudeva told us that we need this RAGA, this most wonderful
longing for being together with Radha and Krishna. When we want
to love Them, we need this greed. We cant only gather knowledge
life after life. What do we want? Know Them or LOVE Them?
BHAKTI makes us love Them. Our hearts need to be full of RAGA,
full of passionate love for Them. He told us that this is not a worldly
love-passion. Focused on the Divine Couple, our love will become
pure.
Without realizing our eternal svarupa, we cant see this shining light
and we cant walk on this path of RAGA. Relationship is the key and
emotions are the key. Without knowing who we are, we are trapped
in this body and we are following the path of our senses. Real
emotions can only come from knowing our real identity in
relationship to the Divine Couple. Gurudeva let Suniti dd read the
passage of Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swamis Bhagavat-gita, page 4
of the introduction. There Swamiji writes that every individual soul
has an eternal relationship with Krishna in his or her eternal form.
Gurudeva said that without the mercy of Radhika, coming into the
heart of Sri Guru, we can never understand these things. Only by Sri
Gurus mercy can we actually see the moonbeam of pure bhakti in
the dark night of our soul.
The plan for today was that after breakfast, Gurudeva would drive to
the place of Sadhu Ma and Sudevi dd near Cologne to have a nice
afternoon and from there then to the final destination, the Findhof.
He talked about the eternal relationship Jesus has with God as his
father. We all need this relationship and we all need to fix our minds
and our emotions on the Divine Couple. If we want to love, we have
to shift our consciousness from being unconscious (material) to
conscious (spiritual). We should not serve our senses, but we should
serve with our real identity. Bhakti-yoga is the way to reach our goal.
When we engage in BHAKTI, love-in-action, we can become free
from the material senses and from our material mind who always
creates doubts. We must realize our eternal form.
The audience was captivated on the spot and everyone loved to listen
to Gurudevas elaboration on BHAKTI in its most sweet form.
Soon, the next important guest would arrive. Krishna Chandra from
Switzerland was the other great sadhu who was invited to speak on
the nature of .BHAKTI.
We all very lovingly welcomed him and everybody was now happy
that the festival was about to begin soon.
After the class, prasadam was served and Srila Gurudeva was sitting
together with the devotees and the owners of the Findhof. They
explained him their "way of yoga", which is a path of shakti yoga.
Gurudeva nicely told them that all perfection is achieved by
following the highest yoga: The yoga or the meeting of the soul with
the Supersoul. He told them that BHAKTI, love in action, is so
wonderful, that everything is included in this practice. All mystic
perfections are knocking on BHAKTI'S door. No path is followed
without BHAKTI. They were very impressed and they admitted that
all the needed was love. So, Gurudeva is the right person to enlighten
them about REAL love. He sat together with the devotees for a long
time and very late in the evening, he went to his room and took rest.
By Suniti dds mercy, my wife and I had our room right next to
Gurudeva so we all could take care of him every minute.
Since Srila Gurudeva went to bed very late and since he took no
jetlag-rest after flying into Germany on Monday, he was very tired
this morning. We joined him after waking up and we sat there
peacefully enjoying these most wonderful intimate "morning-lilas"
with our Gurudeva. Talking about the day before, the impressions,
sitting together, sharing and just being happy.
This morning Srila Gurudeva asked Krishna Chandra to start with
the lecture, telling him he needed to have more time this morning for
himself.
So Gurudeva went to give class at about 8:20 am or so.
He told in this class about Saint Francis of Assisi who was a realized
soul. Gurudeva explained his spotless character and his true spiritual
nature. He told the story where Saint Francis gave away all his
clothes and then stood naked in front of everyone. "He had no
problems, no shame. Women and young girls were there. But he was
in his spiritual identity. He had realized that he was not in his bodily
consciousness. We have to become like him. He could talk to all
living entities, even to the birds. Why? Because he realized his
eternal self and all the other living entities as eternal souls. All
connected to Krishna. One big family."
Srila Gurudeva said that in the book translated by Suniti dd, Srila
Narayana Maharaja tells us to look for a siksha-guru when our
Gurudeva left this world. He should be in the same mood and we
should take shelter from him. Diksha-guru is one, siksha-guru can be
many.
"Hare here means 'to cover with an embrace'. It also stands for
Radhas name. So Radhika makes 'hare' to Krishna. Full embrace to
Krishna. Not only once: Two times She embraces Krishna Hare
Krishna Hare Krishna. Then 'Krishna Krishna Hare Hare'. Krishna
realizes then that someone wonderful is embracing Him. He sees that
it is Radha. So He does 'Hare Hare' tooHe embraces Radhika too.
First Radhika embraces Krishna, then Krishna embraces Radha.
Then 'Hare Rama Hare Rama' the HARE here stands for the living
soul, the jiva. The jiva beholds RAMA Radha Madhava. They are
togetherdancing the maha-rasa. RA for Radhika, MA for
Madhava. They invite the jiva: 'Come to us.' Then 'Rama Rama Hare
Hare'. Now we are there. We serve Them in the rasa-dance. We can
see Them together. We are happy only when they are together."
Many questions were answered and all the devotees were very
happy.
After the question-answer-thing, Srila Gurudeva initiated five new
devotees into the Holy Name.
Welcome to Gurudevas family, dear Sundara Priya dd, Caitanya
das, Nitai das, Vasudha dd and Gaurangi dd.
Again, Srila Gurudeva received many guests in his room after the
evening class. Unfortunately I was too tired to be there and so I went
to sleep a little earlier.
This morning class, after saying his invocation prayers which end
with a prayer to Srimati Radhika in Her form as our Swamini, our
beloved Mistress, Srila Gurudeva immediately started to talk about
the glories of Srimati Radhika. He said that the highest goal for the
living entity is to become a maidservant of Srimati Radhika. Why?
Gurudeva told us that we should engage in BHAKTI. Where does
BHAKTI come from? From Krishnas HLADINI-sakti, His
innermost bliss-energy. We should try to know about Her. Many
years, many lifetimes we were trying to gather knowledge about
Krishna, about God. But it is more important, now that we know
Him, that we start LOVING HIM. And who can teach us to love
Him best? Radharani. She is the master in teaching us how to love
God.
We need to forget that Krishna is God. He forgets it too. Only then
can we really love Him for Who He is.
We dont need to change dress, job, house, etcThe gopis live their
lives tooHusband, children, householdbut secretly they love
Radha most. They do everything secretly, in hiding. Not openly. We
should do the same. Outwardly we do our worldly duties, but inside,
we develop love for Radha. More than for Krishna.
After some time, I had to go cooking for Gurudeva, so the last part of
the class I missed.
After breakfast, Srila Gurudeva chatted with the devotees and then
he told us that we should do non-stop bhajan until the class of
Krishna Chandra in the afternoon.
Also we all could feel the owners of Findhof falling in love with
Gurudeva more and more. Not only did they refuse to charge a
festival-fee for the days, but they even decided to give the money
charged for the guest-rooms to Gurudeva as a donation.
Unbelievable. What an act of selfless love. Achim told Suniti dd that
all money for the rooms should go to Gurudeva.
I could see that they more and more loved the association. They
attended all programs, morning and evening and sometimes
afternoon. Especially Eberhard was very much attracted to bhakti-
yoga.
But also Achim, Irmgard and Ute loved the bhajan-singing and the
classes.
In the evening we planned a mantra-concert and many guests came
especially for this event, with Srila Gurudeva as a mega-super-bonus
of course.
They started with some nice devotional songs and at one point, Srila
Gurudeva intervened (after a couple of songs) and a nice devotees
called Dandadhrik das was invited to sing bhajans.
Srila Gurudeva talked between the songs about Vrindavana. He sang
verses from a wonderful written poem by Bilvamangal Thakur,
"Govinda Damodara Madhaveti". How ecstatically beautiful it was
to listen to Gurudeva sing. He explained some of the verses.
"With a closed fist we come to this world. In this closed fist, there is
nothing and we leave with an open hand. We come with nothing and
we go with nothing. Only the love to Radha and Krishna stays."
"Who are your real friends? Only those who help you reach the
highest goal, Sri Guru and the Vaishnavas."
"When they hear Krishnas flute, the gopis go mad. They dress
wrongly and they apply lipstick to their eyes and eyeliner to their
mouth."
Krishna Chandra told us about the nature of the gopis love with
verses from the Bhagavatam. Their love is so pure that even Krishna
cant fathom its depth.
So, the last day of a fantastic and most sweet festival of bhakti-
experience.
Srila Gurudeva started his class with making it clear to us, how
important it is to start with our self-realization. We need to become
conscious of our eternal nature. We need to start a divine relationship
with our Creator. Right now we are without real feelings, like a chair
made of matter. We need to wake up and become conscious. The
energy is always there. The mercy is always there. We have to be
greedy to receive the mercy. Again Srila Gurudeva showed us the
example of Jesus and how close he was with his father. He was a
truly self-realized soul. Why? Because he was in a relationship with
God. Not a neutral observer. Gurudeva said that our eternal
consciousness needs a form. Only with a form (personal form) can
we start a relationship. The son needs a form to relate with the
Father, the friend needs a form to relate with the Supreme Friend, a
lover needs a form to relate with the Supreme Lover.
We see in this ceiling above us ten light bulbs. They are there a long
time. Did they develop a relationship with each other? Light has no
form. Light cant develop a relationship. We need to understand that
we are a spiritual person. We have a spiritual form. To realize this,
we must change ourselves. BHAKTI can change us.
He then gave initiation to Eberhard and rewarded him with the name
Paramatmananda das. The initiation was really very touching and
lovingly Gurudeva spoke about the meaning of initiation and made
some points of the principle of Guru-ship (guru-tattva).
Paramatmananda das was utterly happy and after the initiation, Srila
Gurudeva and Krishna Chandra had to leave, each to his own
destination(s).
We all said "See you soon" and not "Good bye", because we all are
connected and we all will see us soon.
After breakfast, everyone left the Findhof with a sad heart, but filled
with wonderful and most uplifting experiences. It was truly a week
of love and a deepening of everyones BHAKTI.
Suniti dd, our wonderful sister, was the "motor" of this ecstatic
festival. She not only organized EVERYTHING but also was
responsible for the NECTAR prasadam on all days, breakfast AND
lunch/dinner.
Her service was beyond humanly possible and she was full of love
towards everyone.
I saw her in the kitchen from the early morning hours and she was
the last person to leave.
My heart goes out in thankfulness to such a dedicated dasi of
Radhika.
And as the nectar goes on: A date was already fixed for the end of
May next year in 2015.