A PISTFUL OF. TURKEYS ' ty “eh : SOME TURKEY GAMESB FISTFUL OF , TURKEYS Copyright © 1981 by Some Turkey Games Game Design: Some Turkey Playtested By: Some Turkey Graphics By: Some Turkey Research By: Some Turkey Concept By: Some Turkey With an introduction by Some Turkey. . . Dedicated to Muther Turkey 1. SECTION INDEX: Aushwune so co~] . Section Index (that’s what you’re reading now) . Introduction . Game Description and Victory Conditions . Map Description . Counter Description . Technical Term Definitions (turkey talk for begin- ners) . The Set-Up . The Turn Sequence . Phase 1: Billy Moves 10. Lil. n,. 13. 14. Phase 2: Billy Attacks Phase 3: Turkeys Move Phase 4: Turkeys Attack Section Thirteen Etc.2, INTRODUCTION Hi, I’m Some Turkey. This is the first game that I’ve ever published under my own, true name. You've probably played several of the world-famous games which I’ve previously written under another name. Legal technicali- ties forbid me to mention them here; but if you knew, you’d be amazed at how brilliant and creative [ really am. I even amaze myself at times -- and you can imagine how fantastic I must be to amaze myself! Now I, Some Turkey, have cast off the degradation of working for others who pervert my great works. Done forever am I with copy editors who dare to change my spelling. Gone are the mercenary publishers who insist upon silly deadlines and budgets. Now I control it all. And, because of my inedible good taste, you are assured of the maximum, I mean really the best, in games you'd ever dreamed you'd see. Enough of my story for now. I know that you’re saying, “Hey, just what’s this Turkey game about any- way.” Well, all I can say is that it's merely the most superb simulation of what can only be called the most significant era of turkey history to date: the saga of the deranged attacks of the dreaded Billy Jackal. Billy Jackal was the scourge of Turkeydom. This game reflects the horrible beginnings of his diabolical crusade against the noble gobblers, I dedicate this game, in a small way (a very small way), to the many poor young turkeys who died helplessly in those earlier days when we had not yet refined our defenses. I currently have a whole series of games in the works which chronicle the horrifying career of Billy Jackal. 1 know that you just can’t wait to buy them (see the adver- tisement). Rest assured that no stone was left unturned in the preparation of this exciting simulation. The research, playtesting, editing and graphics were all done with greatest care (I should know, for I, Some Turkey, did it all!) That’s all for now, I know that you just can’t wait to get started. . .3. GAME DESCRIPTION AND VICTORY CONDITIONS: A FISTFUL OF TURKEYS is an incredibly realistic simulation of Billy Jackal’s one-guy crusade against the Grand Turkey Conspiracy. B. J. was known for his guerilla attacks on turkey hutches throughout Texas. Armed only with a single-barrel shotgun (which he found difficult to wield and impossible to reload inside a hutch), he would storm into the nearest roost and proceed to wreak havoc. In his later years, however, as B. J.’s mind drifted further and further from sanity, and as the turkey’s awa- kening consciousness began to comprehend his murderous intent, things became a little sticky. . . the turkeys began fighting back! A FISTFUL OF TURKEYS takes place in that uncertain time when either side could win, a courtesy of the designer to give you, Joe gamer, a fun play. VICTORY CONDITIONS. The Billy player must Splat (see below) six turkeys and escape the hutch within ten turns in order to win. If he escapes after having Splatted less, then the game is a tie. The turkeys are victorious if they can keep Billy from escaping within ten tums with at least one turkey surviving (this is because an overdose of the constant gobbling within the hutch will tend to cause B. J. to become a totally insane, blithering mass of flesh and, eventually, a turkey). Historical Note: Billy Jackal had the first recorded case of the new mental affliction known as ‘Turkey Fever’. Now, with this game you, too, catch, “Turkey Fever’. (This foolish little paragraph was inserted by my former, meddling Publisher. .. I left it in to show you just how BAD Publishers can be. I, of course, will never put such blatant, irrelevent insertions in the games which | pub- lish. . .)4. MAP DESCRIPTION: The map is that big picture of a turkey hutch with the funny lines drawn all over it. Those lines make six-sided shapes, called hexagons or hexes (Please be careful not to cast any of these hexes at anyone, lest they be turned into a newt!), which govern movement. Other notable features of the map (which is highly accurate despite the fact that I had to alter some of the details for obvious turkey security reasons), also enter into play. The bold lines represent walls, the dotted lines represent rafters, the big circles represent posts and the starred hexes are to aid in setting up. Please note that the map was done in full color, with all of the hues subdued and dark- ened to simulate the darkness within the hutch. I am constantly doing these little things out of my dogged insistance ‘upon realism and out of my highest regard for the gamer. The other funny pictures around the map will be ex- plained later. 5. COUNTER DESCRIPTION: “Counter” is game-designer lingo for those little playing pieces with the words, pictures and silhouettes printed on them. These counters are used to mark the locations of opposing forces and of certain other things. With lots of imagination and sound effects you can pretend the counters are real! Each game should come with 13 (one dozen) turkey counters, two Billy counters (showing his various position options), one gun counter, ten splat counters, three B.O.M. counters, three blank counters, one turn counter and a set of extra counters which can be used in variant forms of the game. Note that we were not presumptuous enough to die-cut counters into convenient squares, as we know that many gamers prefer to cut them out themselves into their own unique shapes.6. TECHNICAL TERMS: Here is a helpful list of terms which are used throughout the game. You are encouraged to create a public spectacle by shouting these terms during play. You may look upon this as an advanced form of psychological scream therapy. SPLAT: That which a turkey becomes after a successful attack by Billy; also the sound which marks the trans- formation. B.0.M.: Abbreviation for Biodegradable Organic Material (turkey turds). BONK: The sound which Billy’s head makes when it comes into contact with a rafter (as in “going bonkers”). WOOPS: The term which indicates B. J.’s slipping on either a B.O.M. or a Splat. UGH!: The sound which issues from Billy’s mouth when he is pecked in the face by enraged turkeys (other sounds may also be used for added realism). SNAP: The noise which marks the breaking of Billy’s gun as a result of impact with a turkey. (“Crackle” and “Pop” are optional sounds for “Snap” if play is during breakfast. BOOM: The loud noise which is caused by Ahab firing his gun. OOF: The sound of a turkey being kicked. POW: The sound of a turkey being punched. BASH: The sound which is created by the successful clubbing of a turkey. CRUNCH: The last sound which is heard from a turkey which failed to get out of the way when Billy fell. AARK; The noise which all turkeys make when they’re being strangled. GOTCHA!: The exclamation which Billy utters after grabbing a turkey by the neck. CRASH: The act of forcing one’s way through a turkey hutch wall. TROT: A common term for treading upon turkeys.7. THE SET-UP: The turkey player (that is, the one controlling the turkeys; it is assumed that both players are turkeys since they’re playing the game), sets up his dozen (13) turkeys in the starred stall hexes, one per stall. He then takes three B.O.M. counters (see below) and his three blank counters and places them upside-down in any open, non- starred hex in order to confound Billy, that is, to keep him from knowing the exact location of B.O.M.’s. .. the blank counters have no effect. The Billy player then places his standing Billy counter in either of the two starred door hexes, facing whichever way he likes. Next the turn counter is placed on the “1” position on the turn track. Play is ready to begin after the Billy player hollers “Here I come, ready or not!” and the turkey player replies with a panicked “gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble!” Variations of these opening moves must be approved by Some Turkey himself (me). Send possible opening lines to Some Turkey cave of Some Turkey games for official approval before using them. a Sy TROT A Turkey TovayTURN TRACK iad iVHOLOD LV1dS LV1dS LYTdS LVTdS LYTdS LV1TdS LYTdS dVNS TIVd TIVA NOLS 8 TIVA TIVA NOs 9 EERE iVHOLOD LW 1d$ LV1TdS IVTds dVNS TIVA TIV4 NA.Ls ida a iVHOLOD i. LV1dS LVTds 9 LV1ds “as LV1dS — ¥ Ep t “T10¥ gd aTaVL SLINSAY NOLLOV HSVuo (1V¥D) iVHOLOD (ATONVULS) iMUVV LOWL (11v4a) HONnD (€19) HSVa (HINNd) MOd (OD) 400 (NAD) WOOT (AALLVTINAND)« (ND) dvNS (WOO) TIV4 « dul (SYdLAVY) HNO (LV1d5 “W'O'a) SdOOM (4944) iHDN ‘NOLLOV8. TURN SEQUENCE: The order of play is as follows: PHASE 1: Billy moves. PHASE 2: Billy attacks. PHASE 3: The turkeys move. PHASE 4: The turkeys attack. PHASE 5: The turn counter is advanced to the next number on the turn track. If it was on ten and B. J. is inside the hutch with at least one functioning turkey, then the B. J. player loses, his counter is replaced by the Billy turkey counter and all splats become cold turkey; otherwise a new turn begins, go back to Phase 1. COUNTERS my FAVOR GOBOLE |FowL |zR. PEGLEG |TURKE Sw ‘Tors AANA, Twmernes TuRKEY BILL BILLY ASAIN INS TS ts ‘ “SPLAT | ORAT. | spaTohSPea ALS Pia i ZINN Ayu WADI DN ZWINS 1 Hore iN EI) A=) @ 4-9-9] 9h 1-5 Some TuRKey GRAPHICSce p= Zuo we whi: iii, pone y SMC ek og ee Hig PemnsS Torkey 9. PHASE1 BILLY MOVES: Billy has six Movement Points (MP) per turn. This means that he may expend up to six points in doing any combination of the following actions: WALK: (cost: 1 MP) Walking is Billy’s movement from one hex and into any of his three front hexes (see facing illustration), while he is not prone. The game ends whenever he walks out of the hutch. He may not “walk” through walls or posts. CRAWL: (cost: 2 MP) Crawling is moving one hex in any direction while prone. Note that Billy is considered to have all front hexes when prone. If he crawls into a hex occupied by turkeys, they must retreat into an open, adjacent hex. STAND: (cost: 2 MP) Standing is the act of raising oneself from a prone position (what did you think it was?). Remember to check and see if Billy is trying to Stand in a B.O.M., Splat or rafter hex. TROT: (cost: 1 MP) Trotting is simply walking into a hex occupied by one or two turkeys. An attempt may be made to Splat one turkey per hex and any unsplatted turkeys must retreat into an open, adjacent hex. CRASH: (cost: 3 MP) Crashing is Billy’s attempt to kick his way through any hutch wall (presumably in order to get to the other side). A successful crash will put Billy on the other side of said wall and leave a hole behind. Billy must be standing and facing the wall in his middle front hex in order to crash through. He may not crash through a post.The following are possible by-products of Billy’s movement: BONK: Whenever Billy walks into or stands in a dotted rafter hex, the turkey player (the other one) may yell “Bonk”, roll the die and consult the Action Results Table. Indicated results are applied immediately. WOOPS:This is yelled by the turkey player whenever Billy walks into or Stands in a hex containing either a B.O.M. or a Splat. Consult the table for results after rolling the die and apply results. Note that the Billy player may and likely will yell impro- vised responses to the turkey player’s screams, but these will not affect the results. FALL: This simply means that Billy becomes prone and remains in the same hex (unless it is caused by a Trip or a Boom). SSS STUN: This normally reduces Billy’s movement points by two for his next movement phase. A Stun from a Bonk will reduce his current movement points by two (if he has that many left. Billy will drop everything in his hands if he becomes stunned; the gun. will land in the same hex and any turkeys will flee to an open, adjacent hex. The Billy player must confine himself to speaking in an incoherent mumble while he is stunned. This has been found to add a very realistic effect to the situation.Splats are placed on the map by the turkey player as they are created by Billy, Old Splats may be removed if neces- sary, in order to make new ones; however, ten should be sufficient. 10. PHASE 2: BILLY ATTACKS: Billy may perform one of the following actions during his attack phase. He does not need to be standing unless instructions specify otherwise. BOOM: Shooting the buggars. This may be done only once per game. Billy must be standing and he may not hold on to any turkeys. The Billy player yells “Boom” and determines the amount of turkeys which are within the area of effect (see chart), note that the gun will not penetrate hutch walls. One roll may be made according to the Action Results Table for each eligible turkey. The turkey player may make a die-roll to see whether shooting the gun will cause Billy to fall. Consult the table, if he does fall, then he will be pushed back one hex (if possible) and prone. He may now attempt to crush any turkeys which are in the new hex (See Crunch).BASH: Clubbing the buggars. This is done once per phase either with the gun or with a grabbed turkey. Billys target must be in one of his front hexes. Note that hitting a turkey may result in the gun breaking and becoming worthless (see Snap). Both turkeys will Splat if the turkey-club hits, effectively making the grabbed turkey quite useless as a club. GOTCHA!: Snatching up the buggars. A turkey must be grabbed before it can be used as a club or strangled (see Aark!). Billy may grab one turkey if it is in one of his front hexes. Grabbing a dropped gun is automatic if he is in the same hex. B. J. may hold no more than two grabbed things at one time. AARK!: Strangling the buggars. This may only be done to a grabbed turkey. Roll the die and consult the chart. POW and OOF: Punching and kicking the buggars (res- pectively). Either may be done to any one turkey in one of Billy’s front hexes. Any unsplatted turkeys remaining in the target hex must retreat to an open, adjacent hex. CRUNCH: Crushing the buggars. This may happen when- ever Billy falls out of his hex and on to turkeys. A roll may be made for each turkey in the hex and unsplatted turkeys must retreat. GUN SCATTER DIAGRAMRANDOM FALL LOCATION CHART 11. PHASE 3: TURKEYS MOVE: Each turkey has eight movement points. Turkeys are considered to be in a constant state of gobbling and semi- flight. They may move in any direction, except through walls and posts, at the cost of one point per hex. Any turkeys which are within three hexes of the hutch entrance during their movement phase are allowed to roll the die once to see if they are smart enough to run away that tum. A roll of “6” indicates that the turkey may exit the hutch, if he wishes. Turkeys which exit the hutch are out of the game and considered as survivors. \ pe X -—em—. ——— a EE i 12, PHASE 4: TURKEYS ATTACK: These actions may only be made after Billy has attacked at least once during the game. Each turkey may do only one of the following after screaming the great turkey battle cry: “Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!”Ce, CAN, < ~—S TRIP: Any turkey which has moved 4 or less hexes in its previous movement phase and which currently occupies one of Billy’s front hexes may attempt to trip him. Turkeys may roll separately or as a group or in any combination (roll one die and add one to the score for every turkey in the group over one, a result of six or more will cause Ahab to fall; thus six turkeys will automatically trip him. The direction of Billy’s fall is determined by rolling the die and consulting the random fall location chart. UGH! (PECK): Any turkeys who are adjacent to a prone Billy counter and who have not made any other attacks this phase may try to jab their beaks into B. J.’s face in order to stun him. He may not be stunned for more than six points during this phase.13. SECTION THIRTEEN This game was thoroughly researched by Some Turkey, who assumes the possibility that Billy may actually have had a chance to do something notable - based upon the scientific principle that ‘anything is possible’’. This could be you! ! !AND NOW FOR A WORD TO THE GAMING WORLD. . . I may seem like the new turkey in town, but believe me -- I’ve been around. J know what this business is like. I know how corrupt those publishers are (I know quite a lot, actually), and [’'m not going to let anyone rip me off. Let it be known as of right now that I will no longer tolerate game revues which refer to other companies* products in such a manner as to imply that they are in any way connected to me. , For example, such phrases as “wow, this is Some Turkey!”’ will be considered grounds for a lawsuit. All this may seem a bit harsh to all you wonderful gamers out there, but take it from me: the game business is a dog-eat-turkey world. . . not very pretty. GAME AIDS This game, of course, is a polished and complete ver- sion in itself, requiring only dice for play. However, being the gamer-minded big-time game designer that I am, I’ve decided to offer the following game aids (Officially Ap- proved for use with Some Turkey Games). MOUNTING BOARDS: These handy, almost thick sheets of cardboard are suitable for mounting maps and counters. We had them custom made in an approved greyish-brown wargaming color and cut at around 8% x 11. Only $5.00 each! Order now (address below)! COUNTER BOARDS: These die-cut counters were found one midnight sitting around in a local game manu- facturer’s warehouse and since nobody else was around to claim them, we did. These are very nice, all cut in ¥-inch squares -- perfect for my game. Only $7.50 each! That’s it. If you come up with any great game mar- keting ideas, send them to me at Some Turkey Games! You won’t get any money (remember, I told you it was a rough business), but you'll have the satisfaction of sup- porting me, Some Turkey. IS YOUR FUNNYBONE A DRUMSTICK? Send us your silly. . . send us your sick. . . send us all of the turkey jokes you can make up (or steal!) Gain the satisfaction of striking a blow for Turkeydom! Some Turkey wants all of your bad jokes. Send them to Some Turkey at the address on the bottom right corner of this page.$0 vecchinra GAMES GAME DEMEANER’S WORKSHOP DYING BUFFALO (Moneygaming Avalon Swill “CRAZY LOU" TURCCHI TASK FARCE bAMES The Crassium ; The LameLizards Muggers’ Guild These ap a few of the companies which I, Some Turkey, worke(AD) SOME TURKEY GAMES A-PISTPUL OR TURKEYS eg oe wile on) eyes dee $1.95 The beginnings of Billy Jackal’s horrible career. Relive the tense fighting that went on in the turkey hutches across Texas. Order now from Some Turkey Games. FOR A FEW TURKEYS MORE .........+. COMING SOON More of Billy Jackal’s horrible career. Both sides grow in strength and expertise. This is what happens when a small geurilla con- flict grows into a major battle. A superb example of excellent simulation in a well-balanced game by your favorite designer, Some Turkey. THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE TURKEY . . . COMING SOON Yet more of Billy Jackal’s horrible career. This game intro- duces thermonuclear weaponry into the battle, as well as many other advanced turkey weaponry. This last segment of the Billy trilogy is being worked on even now by S. T. This will be the first game ever to successfully combine intricate elements of fan- lasy, history, science-fiction and B. O. M.s. “Truly a milestone of brilliance in the gaming profession!” --Some Turkey, 1981. IWAMIBAZE TORKEY.:. 205s... 0% im ot ole ese COMING SOON Another real-life portrayal of the turkey struggle, Some Tur- key’s latest masterpiece. . . Details cannot be released at this time because we don’t want some perverted publisher to steal the idea and make millions on it. I never met a publisher who wasn’t out for a fast buck (except myself, of course; I’m per- fect), Tora! Tora! Turkey! Watch for these other titles coming sooner or later: Drumsticks & Dragons, The Turkey That Ate ShebOgre, Swashgobbler, Frank- enstein Meets the Were-Turkey, Starship Turkeys, Turkels & Troll- keys, The Fantasy Turkey, Gizzard’s Quest and The $6 Million Turkey. Write to: Some Turkey Games Box 40 Cedar Park, Texas 78613 “Tell “em Some Turkey sent ya!”A TOUCHINGLY WARM PERSONAL LETTER TO GAMERS (from your friend and mine, S$. Turkey) TRUTH triumphs in the end. This letter is about truth and setting the record straight. For years gamers thought they knew the facts of wargaming’s birth. It’s a pillow full of turkey feathers! All lies. Now you will know the TRUTH, the real story of fantasy and wargaming. It all started in a little turkey hutch in Baltimore, Maryland. I lived with my family in the abject, repressive poverty that is a turkey’s lot in America. But, despite the socio-economic handicap, I knew my talents would one day bring international acclaim. How it all started is as clear in my mind as if it were yesterday. I was gazing out of the coop late one hot August afternoon. As I gazed I realized that the coop’s chicken wire made interesting patterns. Each segment of space between the wires made a shape that fit exactly to the shapes made by the adjacent wires. As I poncered, it became easy for my agile mind to fantasize about moving objects back and forth from space to space. I pretended that juicy worms were trying to get away as I hunted them. Since I hated naps, each afternoon passed in this ama- zing fashion. Soon, I began imagining that some spaces were bushes, rocks and the coop. The simulated worm hunt became more complex with new ideas, such as the Combat Results for Turkeys table. Soon, it became so complex that I couldn’t remember where everything was supposed to be. But, I was undaunted! There MUST be a way! AsI glared at the wire the next day a bit of turkey down blew into the wire and caught. Voila! Eureka! Fresh Worms! That was IT! I COULD PUT THINGS INTO THE SPACES TO REPRESENT OTHER THINGS! Frantically, I raced from roost to roost gathering up down, offal and such. Quickly, quickly I placed them on the wire. Three long feathers for the coop, offal for worms, down for turkeys and so on. Ina frenzy of gob- bling joy I began moving items about, simulating the ten- sion high of a worm hunt. Soon a crowd of the more sophisticated toms gathered showing unbounded adulation for my genius. Thereafter we all played WORM HUNT.Alack, our joy was doomed. Our excited gobbling upset the neighbors. Chuck Roberts, in particular, bitched a lot. He even came over one afternoon and kicked a few turkeys, but we kept on playing our simulation worm hunt. Then Chuck stopped for a few long, silent minutes and watched. He started loud babbling, “My God, you could pretend the feathers are TANKS or INFANTRY DIVISIONS! You could pretend the blobs were PARATROOPS or HEADQUARTERS UNITS!” Chuck ran from the coop. Two years later he came back and kicked us away from our beloved wire. Unfolding a square gridded map from a box he muttered, “never could figure out how to draw those wire squares.” He traced the wire onto the map and left. We never saw Chuck again. After that I bummed around a lot. Making up new games to play on the wire was my whole life. I even became literate so I could write it all down on paper. Then, I went to New York. (to be continued) TWO CENTS. . . Dear S. T. Games, I would like to register a complaint! Counter number 87 in your game A FISTFUL OF TURKEYS is supposed to be JagdTurkeyGruppe unit with an attack value of 15, yet it is printed as a Waffen SS unit with an attack value of only 7! Some Turkey (sic) has obviously messed up. I demand that you re-do the entire game and send me a new copy. Sincerely, The Head Letter-Writer of THE NATIONAL TAMPOON "WARNING: The surgeon general has determined that reading the above letter can lead to the contraction of the dread disease, Toxic Rocks Syndrome and that it must be recalled.*A FISTFUL OF TURKEYS... fe i © CONGRATULATIONS! You have shown extremely good taste by picking up this game. . . Believe it or not. this is the history-making first game ever published by Some Turkey, America’s first, incredibly real, turkey game designer under his own name! A FISTFUL OF TURKEYS is Some Turkey’s remarkably well-balanced and historically accurate simulation of the in- famous Billy Jackal’s one-man crusade against the Grand Turkey Conspiracy . Billy hated turkeys. He hated everything that they stood for. The doctors all said that he was crazy, but Billy knew that the Turkeys were plotting the overthrow of human scciety - and he, alone if necessary, would foil their fowl plan; for now Billy’s hatred had been unleashed. That’s right, Billy had caught. . . TURKEY FEVER! Some Turkey disclaims any association with the underground organization known as the Grand Turkey Conspiracy, so don’t write to him to find out how to join. Gobble. anne Complete with rules, map, and counters Author’s note: This is NOT a ‘MicroGame’. Even though it looks just like one, even though it’s the same size and even though it follows the same format as MicroGames, it should not be con- fused with them. Don’t think that we're copying or anything. . . I actually thought of micros first, but I didn’t say anything until last week because I just knew somebody would steal my idea if I said anything. (They ALL want to steal my creativity!) SOME TURKEY GAMESberi ae ee \i een re . Rn Permission to photocopy counters and map for playing purposes only. er by ri - . = = = - = =: ‘1 Orfinhad nothing to do withthis. Gobble.