Chapter -11

Techniques of Personality Development

In todays world, techniques play an important role in every field of activities. They are the skillful and
efficient ways of doing or achieving something. When it applies to personality development, a person has
to look into all possible approaches and then choose one or more methods for the development of
personality. Some such methods have been discussed below:

11.1 Auto Suggestion Technique:

It is the process of programming the mind. All the human beings have two minds-
Conscious and sub-conscious. The conscious mind is governed by the subconscious mind. It is a kind of
gate keeper to the gate of subconscious mind. When one wants to do something, the conscious mind
consults the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind approves the proposal if similar work has been
done in the past. Thus it has a relationship with the past. The personality of an individual depends upon
the state of subconscious mind, which can be given suggestions or programmed. If the subconscious
mind is given positive affirmations, these get registered and remain inside all time and the subconscious
mind guide the conscious mind which in turn activates to do the work accordingly. Some of the auto-
suggestions which result into positivity and ultimately a pleasing personality are as follows:

I am a capable person.
I am a disciplined person.
I have a great future.
I will achieve great success.
I will keep my body physically fit.
I am an active person.
I will become a famous person.
I will use my time usefully the whole day today.
I am a fortunate person.

Such kind of auto suggestions attracts the conditions and circumstances according to the
instructions given to the subconscious mind. Napoleon Hill says Whatever the mind can conceive and
believe, it can achieve. Here, a word of caution is necessary. If the programming is of negativity, then
the results will be unpleasant, and a person will keep suffering with all kinds of difficulties. Some of the
negative thoughts or auto-suggestions are as follows:

I am useless.
I am an unlucky person.
I cannot understand much.
 I cannot work in these circumstances.
I cannot do well.
My job is very taxing.
Life is very boring.

Such thoughts even though un-knowingly entering in mind will get registered by the
subconscious mind and will attract conditions and circumstances which will make things to happen as per
the thoughts. Hence it is suggested that the programming of the mind should always be done in positivity.
It is also desirable that a person who wants to shape a good personality should keep company of positive
persons, and make them friends.

Use of Law of Attraction:

Many people have heard about the Law of Attraction. It is the principle of attracting
things into reality using power of mind. The Law refers to the field of psychology. It states that Like
attracts Like. In order to understand this Law one should know that this universe consists of energy
field. In these field things of similar vibration patterns attract each other. Everything whether of physical
or abstract form including human beings and their thoughts are in the form of energy. Hence the similar
energy fields attract each other. The laws of attraction works just like the law of gravity in physics.
Positive vibrations of one energy field get aligned to the positive vibrations of other. Similarly negative
vibrations get aligned with other negative ones.

Most of the people are confused about this law due to the fact that they know opposite
poles of two magnets attract each other. They may say if like attracts like, then north poles of two
magnets should attract each other which is not true. The truth is that they repel each other. This confusion
is due to lack of proper understanding. It is true that the same sides of two magnets repel each other and
the opposing sides attract. But if we look at the Figure 11.1, it is seen that in the two magnets, like flow of
magnetic energy is attracted by the like flow of it in other magnet.

S--------------------------------N
S----------------------------------
N
 Like flow attracts like flow
Figure -11.1

In both the magnets shown in figure the flow of energy is from south to North Pole. Thus, viewing the
whole picture, like is being attracted by like. There are many schools of thought on how to benefit from
the Law of Attraction (LOA). The following is a very simple approach to make use of this law in three
steps Desire, Visualise and Emotionalise.

Desire: In order that LOA works powerfully, one should feel the desire for what one wants to attract. The
desire must be strong enough so that it becomes a burning obsession and one lives with it day and night.

Visualise: Having strong desire, visualization that it has been already achieved, and the things desired
have been received, use of sensory perceptions to realize that the desire has been fulfilled, and will
continue to remain fulfilled in future as well, should be made.

Emotionalise: While having the strong desire and clear visualization of things already having received,
one should call upon his emotions to become grateful for fulfillment of the desires.

Incorporating the above three steps in mind and doing this everyday for as long as
possible, the results will follow. The practice should be done with complete faith until the desires are
realized. For quick results, more time need to be invested every day. Since the entire process is mental,
the success depends upon then intensity of the thoughts created about each of the above steps. The law of
attraction works by the principle that whatever is thought in mind, will be projected into the universe and
the universe will cause those thoughts to attract the events and situations to occur. In a way it is cause and
effect rule.

Whatever circumstances one is going to face ion future is the effect of the cause i.e.
thinking. Use of law of attraction is simple - we get what we wish, think good and get good. If one
thinks bad, he will get bad things.

Law of attraction has been proven as the key to personality development. However, it
works only when ones mind vibrations match with his desire. For example, one may desire to become a
pilot yet deep inside, is afraid of aero plane crashes - this situation will create a tug of war inside the
person and the message which he is sending to universe becomes unclear so it will not be answered.
Therefore, the desires should be pure, realistic and achievable.
11.3 Change of Attitude:

The word attitude has originated from Latin words Opto and Acto which mean fitness
and pastures of body respectively. Therefore the word attitude used to be referred to the physical
orientation of body to a frame of reference. Now attitude is considered to be an expression of body and
mind reaction towards a person, place, thing, activity or event. It is a kind of mental state based on ones
values, emotions and tendency to act in a certain manner. William James has said The greatest
discovery my generation is that a human being can alter his life by changing his attitude . Since
attitude is a kind of response, this can be positive, negative or neutral. It consists of three components
Affective (emotional), Behavioural and Cognitive (Informational) also known as ABC of attitude where A
stands for affective, B for behavior and C for Cognition. Attitude is formed on the basis of mainly
following three factors.

Environment : Home environment, social environment, workplace environment

Education: Formal education, Informal education, Media education.
Experience: Child hood experience, Societal experience, Workplace experience.

These three factors create an impact on the personal factors including values, emotions
and perceptions. This impact can be positive, negative or neutral. Thus the attitude is formed and a person
is characterized by either positive or negative or neutral attitude. The personality to a great extent depends
upon attitude. Hence, it can be nurtured by taking care of attitudinal changes.

As personality is the combination of qualities and characteristics within in a person,

attitude is the expression of an individuals positive or negative response to outside. Therefore a good
personality can be developed by changing the attitude from negative to positive.

Table 11.1 shows the salient features of attitude and personality. It is observed that while
attitude keeps changing according to circumstances, the personality remains fixed irrespective of
changing circumstances. Yet, the impact of change of attitude affects the development of personality.

Table 11.1
Salient Features of Attitude and Personality
S.N.
Attitude Personality
1. Outcome based on genetic history,
Perception based on environment, education and values and education
experience

2. Personal characteristics that lead to

Relatively lasting feelings, beliefs and behavior
consistent pattern of behavior.
towards people.
3.

Attitude depends on who you are Personality is who I am.

4.

Keeps changing according to circumstances Constant irrespective of changing

circumstances.
5.

It is the way a person act towards others. It is the way of a person is looked at by
others.

11.3.1

As stated earlier, attitude can be positive, negative or neutral depending upon the
perception of situation. In a society, people can be seen with predominance of one or other type of attitude
which is reflected in their behavior. The table 11.2 shows the characteristics of negative and neutral
attitude. It is observed that while the positive attitude makes a pleasing personality, the negative attitude
makes repulsive personality. The neutral attitude makes unnoticeable, non-significant personality. The
table 11.3 shows the difference between persons of positive and negative attitude. It is seen from the table
that persons having positive attitude become achievers in every endeavour and successful in life as
against those who possess negative attitude. The persons of negative attitude are usually found to be
frustrated unwilling to take any responsibility and become criticizers. They always remain unhappy.

Table 11.2
Characteristics of Positive, Negative and Neutral Attitude

S.N. Positive Negative Neutral

1 Produces quality in work. Deteriorates quality of work No change in quality of work
2. Strengthens team work Weaken teamwork Keeps the status quo

3. Solves the problem Creates the problems Lingers the problem

4. Reduces stress Increases stress Maintains stress

5. Makes a pleasant personality Makes a repulsive personality Makes a non impacting

personality
6. Improves mental capabilities Deteriorates mental capabilities No enhancement in mental
capabilities

Table 11.3
Difference between Persons of Positive and Negative Attitude

S.N. Positive Negative

 1. Has a programme of action Has a list of excuses

2. Is a part of solution Is a part of problem.

3. Shows that I can do for you. Shows that This is not my job.

4. States that The work is difficult but States that The work is possible but difficult.
possible.

5. Accepts mistakes if done. Does not accept the mistakes if done.

6. Believes that something can be done to Believes that nothing can be done to solve the
solve the problem. problem.
7. Dreams achievement Dreams failures

8. Becomes part of the team Becomes critique of the team

9. Believes that everyone should win Believes that somebody should loose.

10. Argues politely for strong points Argues rudely for weak points

11. Compromises on small issues but sticks on Compromises on principles but sticks to small
principle. issues.

12. Works for things to happen Waits for things to happen

13. Looks forward for tomorrow Looks back for yesterday

14. Gives commitment Gives promises.

From the above, it becomes very obvious that by changing to positive attitude, one can develop his
personality. The change of attitude is therefore an effective technique of developing the personality.
11.3.2 Power of Positive Attitude:

Positive attitude is the powerhouse of life energy. Human life is endowed with immense
potential of creativity which can be harnessed by developing the positive attitude. In order to develop a
positive attitude one needs to learn the basics of it. Daily positive affirmations help towards development
of a positive attitude. Winston Churchil has said Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
Adoption of positive attitude as a way of life brings a qualitative change in it, and results into success in
various endeavours. Positive attitude manifests itself in optimism, constructive thinking and motivation
for achieving goals. It provides strength not to give up, but to face challenges in life. Development of a
positive attitude is a matter of choice. One can choose to think that he wants to develop a positive attitude.
Such a person will feel confident and possess an amicable nature. A person with a positive attitude is
always happy, confident and optimistic. Following are the example of some of the positive thoughts
which can develop positive attitude.

There is something good in every situation.

A problem is an opportunity to do something different.
Change is sign of growth.
A mistake is a valuable step.

11.4 Managing the Stress:

It is one of the techniques of developing the personality. A disease free body and worry
free mind makes an impressive personality. In the present days of work pressure, anxieties, expectations
and cut throat competitions the life has become full of stress. The stresses are unavoidable but if they are
managed properly, one can make his life calm and peaceful.

11.4.1 Definition of Stress:

The word stress is used in physiological behavior of human beings as well as in

mechanical behavior of materials. Related to humans, stress is the physical and mental reaction to an
outside stimuli. It can be negative or positive condition of body and mind to respond to the stimuli or
situation , which may result in either facing the challenging situation or running away from it .Stress has
been defined in various ways by different scholars. One such definition is Stress is a state of
physiological and psychological imbalance resulting from the disparity between situational demand
and an individuals ability to meet those demands. Dr. Hans Selye, one of the authorities on stress
described stress as the rate of all wear and tear caused by life. The stress management society, UK
defines stress as a situation where demands on a person exceed that persons resources or ability to
cope. These days very commonly it is said I am under tension. Or He is in tension. The word tension
is indicative of stressful situation. The term stress originates from Latin Stringere which means To draw
 tight. It has long been used in physics to refer to the internal forces in a material body as a consequence
of the external force applied on it, resulting in the deformation of the material body, known as strain. We
live in an era, full of stress. It is one of the biggest issues which need to be addressed. Stress can cause
physical and mental disturbances which reduce physical well being and create mental depression. Todays
working environment is such that most of the people get affected by the challenging situations making
them to undergo the stress. It is therefore necessary to learn the skills by which stress may be managed
properly.

There are several ways, methods and mechanisms for managing stress. In order to
develop stress management skills, it is desirable to identify the various factors causing stress.

11.4.2 Causes of Stress: Different things can cause stress to different people. They may vary from
physical to emotional depending on the situation. The source of stress may be from workplace, society,
environment, family and friends. The following is the list of some of the causes that create stress:

I. Over ambition X. Career concern

II. Excessive work pressure XI. Organisational changes
III. Insecurity XII. Poor working conditions
IV. Change in environment XIII. Lack of participation in decision making
V. Poor employment opportunities XIV. Lack of civic amenities
VI. High cost of living XV. Life changes
VII. Disturbed family life XVI. Technical changes
VIII. Lack of social support XVII. Frustration
IX. Interpersonal conflict XVIII. Racial, cast and religious conflicts.

XIX. Researches have shown that some amount of stress for sometime increases the self confidence
and capacity to cope up the stressful situations. Broadly speaking stress can be categorized in two
ways:

XX. 11.4.3 Acute Stress:

XXI. This is short period stress and does not result in to any bad effect either on body or mind.
Sometimes it is also known as positive stress or Eustress. In Greek prefix eu means good so
literal meaning of eustress is Good Stress. Occurrence of eustress provides a feeling of
fulfillment and good feelings, when a person achieves a goal which he considered quite difficult
but got it by putting extra efforts. Eustresses are present in every work place and are the result of
arousal which is important in bringing about attention, feelings and analytical approach.

XXII. Psychologists Robert M.Yerkes and John Dodson in 1908 indicated that there is an empirical
relationship between arousal and performance. This is known as Yerkes- Dodson Law and states
that the performance increases with physiological or mental arousal, but upto a certain level after
 which it decreases. Yerkes and Dodson found that this is applicable to difficult tasks. The law is
stated graphically in the Figure-11.2. It is observed that for difficult tasks the relationship
between performance and arousal is bell shaped curve. The performance increases gradually with
increase of arousal till it reaches a maximum, after which it starts decreasing. For simple tasks,
the performance first increases rapidly with the increase of arousal and then remains constant.

XXIII. It is oftenly found that challenges and responsibilities provide a sense of thrill and
excitement which causes arousal. When a person works on a new project or faces a competition it
gives enthusiasm to succeed and win. Eustress is developed in such conditions.

XXIV.
Simple tasks
XXV. Strong

XXVI.
Performance

XXVII.

XXVIII.

XXIX.
Difficult
Tasks
XXX. W

XXXI.

XXXII. Weak

XXXIII. Low Arousal High

XXXIV. Yerkes-Dodson Law

XXXV. Figure 11.2
XXXVI.

XXXVII.

XXXVIII. 11.4.4 Chronic Stress:

XXXIX. It is caused in the form of the response of the body and mind to the work pressure for a
long period of time during which an individual feels no control over the situation. Chronic stress
is also known as Distress. Under such condition, the human body releases corticosteroids
hormones also known as stress hormones to meet the situation. Long term exposure to the
 working pressure creates a high level of these hormones that remains constantly and raises the
glucose level in the blood. Glucose being the main energy source for human cells, the required
amount of energy for meeting the stressful situation is thus made available in the body. However,
continuation of such condition for long periods, the ardinal glands release epinephrine hormones
causing blood vessels to constrict and heart rate to increase. Thus the state of hypertension with
increased blood pressure is created. The prolonged duration affects neuro system and causes
impairment in working memory. The chronic stress gives rise to anxiety, depression, lack of
sleep, body pain and cardiovascular diseases. Studies have shown that there is a strong link
between insomnia (absence of sleep) and chronic stress. An American survey says that 40% of
adult Americans lie awake at night because of stress. Studies have also shown that when stress
hormones are too high, ones ability to learn and retain information gets disrupted.

XL. 11.4.5 Comparison between Acute and Chronic Stress:

XLI. The Table 11.4 shows a comparison between acute (eustress) and chronic stress (Distress):

XLII. XLIII. Acute Stress ( Eustress) XLIV. Chronic Stress

S.N. (Distress)
XLV. LIV. Good and positive LXIII. Bad and negative
1 LV. Occurs for small period LXIV. Lasts for long period
XLVI. LVI. Motivates and focuses energy LXV. Demotivates and drains
2. LVII. Improves performance energy
XLVII. LVIII. Usually increases the willingness to work more LXVI. Reduces performance
3. LIX. Perceived within the coping abilities LXVII. Reduces the efficiency of
XLVIII. LX. work
4. LXI. Enables to feel pleasant LXVIII. Perceived as outside the
XLIX. LXII. No bad effects on body and mind coping abilities
5. LXIX. It feels very unpleasant
L. LXX. Leads to diseases of
6. body and mind
LI. LXXI.

LII.
7.
LIII.
8.
 LXXII.

LXXIII. From the above it is seen that stress is both beneficial as well as harmful. It helps a
person when it occurs occasionally and intermittently, but harms when persist for a long period.
In todays world, the people are constantly confronted with the challenges at the work place,
society and even at family front with greater possibility of development of stress on a continuous
basis. The level of stress developed may be allowed only to such an extent that it enhances the
performance. The Figure 11.3 shows the relationship between performance and stress level.

LXXIV. High
Fatigu Exhausti
LXXV. e on

LXXVI.
Eustress Distres
LXXVII. (Optimu s
Performance

Laid- m) (much
stress) Panic
LXXVIII. back

LXXIX.

LXXX. Break
Inactiv down
e
LXXXI.
Burno
Calmne
LXXXII. Low ut
ss

LXXXIII. Low Stress Level High

LXXXIV. Relationship between Performance and Stress Level

LXXXV. Figure 11.3

LXXXVI. It is observed that the performance first increases with the level of stress, reaches
maximum and then falls down. The various states of mind and body from the calmness to burnout
occur from low level to high level of stress. The term Burn-out refers to the condition of a
person who has become physically and emotionally completely tired after doing a difficult job for
a long period of time. The fatigue and exhaustion are the precursors of burnout caused by
excessive and prolonged stress. It reduces the efficiency, creates, incapability, makes one helpless,
hopeless and frustrated. It is characterized by exhaustion all the time, feeling of sickness,
 disliking of life, resentment in behavior and devoid of motivation. Therefore before burnout
occurs, one should be able to manage the stress.

LXXXVII.

LXXXVIII. 11.4.6 Reactions to Stress:

LXXXIX. Depending upon the type of stress produced, the reactions on the body and mind will
occur. During the period of eustress the reactions will be unfavorable to body and mind. It
means that stress is experienced in the form of reactions. Since stress is related to the functions of
body and mind of an individual, the reaction will be different on different persons. Psychologists
have found that there are broadly two types of reactions. These are instinctive reactions or
response to stress.

(i) Fight or Flight: Famous Psychologist Walter Cannon identified the Fight or Flight response as early as
in the year 1932. It is a natural short- term response which occurs when one experiences a threat or
shock out of a situation. The brain releases stress hormones that prompt a person either to fight with
the situation or fly away from it. Such experiences occur in day to day life in meeting short deadlines,
conflicts etc.

XC. (ii) General Adaption Syndrome (GAS)-This term was given by the Psychologist Hans Selye in
1950. It is a reaction or response to long term exposure to stress. Selye found that people normally
deal with stress in following three phases-

Alarm Phase - Where one gets alarmed by the stressor

Resistance phase - where one adapts to and copes up with the stressor. If, one cannot keep
up the resistance continuously, the physical and mental resources get depleted gradually.
Exhaustion phase - where one cannot function and gets exhausted.

XCI. Both the reactions namely Fight or Flight and General Adaptation System GAS can
occur simultaneously. The exhaustion phase of GAS may result from the accumulation of
continuous Fight or Flight responses over a long period of time.

XCII. 11.4.7 Symptoms of Distress:

XCIII. As stated earlier, the distress occurs due to prolonged work pressures or worries that a
person is subjected causing harmful effects on body and mind. The following are some of the
common symptoms which are seen in such condition.

Constant exhaustion
Difficulty in concentrating
 Incapability in achieving targets
Obsessive or compulsive behaviours
Feeling of isolation
Frequent headaches
Cold sweaty hands and feet
Muscular pain
Frequent heartburn or nausea
Excessive sleeping or insomnia

XCIV. The American Institute of Stress says It is hard to think of any disease in which stress
cannot play an aggravating role or any part of the body that is not affected . The institute
has published a list of 50 common symptoms of stress (ww.stress.org).

XCV. 11.4.8 Maintenance of Stress Diary:

XCVI. In order to manage the stress so that it does not become distress it is advisable to maintain
a diary for recording information and activities related to stress for analysis and management. The
stress diary helps one to understand the following.

The cause of stress in detail.

The nature of stressors
The identification of tools that can be employed in coping the stress.
The methodologies to manage the stress.
The feedback and future strategy.

XCVII. The following template may be used for maintaining the stress diary:

XCVIII. DXCIX. Time C. Inten CI. Dur CII. Circu CIII. Rea CIV. Mea
a of sity atio mstan ctio sure
y Day of n of ces n s
Stress stres that abo ado
in the s led to ut pted
scale stress the to
of (1- stres cope
5) s with
stres
s
CV. CIX. CX. CXI. CXII. CXIII. CXIV.
CVI.
CVII.
CVIII.
CXV.
 CXVI. Maintaining the stress diary will enable a person to draw the stress management plan that
will enable oneself to take necessary steps to realize that stress is a fact of life but it does not have
to be a part of life. Thus keeping a stress diary is an objective way to cope stress and set workable
stress management goals.

CXVII. First of all it is to be realized that not all stress is bad. In fact, it is due to positive aspects
of the stress that the best achievements are made in life. For example, when a student is preparing
for an examination or appearing for a job interview, the performance depends largely on the level
of stress which has been developed at that point of time. High stress level may stop oneself from
performing the best. Complete absence of stress may bring laxity and casualness in approach thus
bringing down the performance. What is required is right amount of adrenalin through the
corresponding level of stress which makes one realize that the occasion requires more amount of
exertion in order to make use of the opportunity into a success.

CXVIII. 11.4.9 Individual Strategies to cope with Stress: An individual in order to cope up with stress
can adopt own strategy. This may be by way of planning, implementing and analyzing the work
functions, as well as by considering the body and mind functions. The following are some of the
suggested strategies that are focused on work, emotions and physical fitness.

Work focused strategies

Time management
Team Management
Job Management
Process Management
Emotion focused strategies-
Positive attitude, having a sense of well being
Companionship, co-operation and empathy
Mind relaxation, meditation,
Prioritising human values
Physical focused strategies-
Exercising
Eating Nutritious food
Scientific breathing
Hygienic Living

CXIX. Any sort of strategy adopted should be commensurate with the surrounding and the self.
It will differ from person to person. The ultimate objective is to lead a healthy and happy life. The
following parable will enlighten the reader about management of stress.

CXX. Parable:
 CXXI. A trainer while teaching stress management to a class of audience raised a glass of water
from the table in the front. Everyone expected that the trainer will ask whether the glass of water
is half empty or half full? Instead, they were asked the question How heavy is this glass of
water? The answers came about the weight ranging from 600 gms to 800 gms. The trainer said
the absolute weight does not matter, what is important is how long the glass of water can be
held. If it is held for a minute, it is now heavy. If I told for a day, my arm will become numb and
feel paralysed. In each case the weight of glass of water does not change, but the longer I hold it
the heavier it becomes. The trainer continued saying the stresses and worries in life are like this
glass of water. If one takes then for a while, nothing happens. If taken for a long time, they begin
to affect adversely and can cause serious damage to the body system.

CXXII. The moral of the story is that put your emotional burdens down to let go of your stress.

CXXIII. 11.5 Goal Setting

CXXIV. Goal setting is one of the techniques for personality development. It involves the
development of an action plan designed to guide a person. Goal setting is the process of deciding
what one wants to accomplish. It provides direction to move. As the saying goes If you do not
know where you are going any road will take you there. Well defined goal can prove to be
the greatest motivation for action. The goal should be meaningful and consistent with the values
and life-skills. As the personality depends upon the values and life-skills, the goals should clearly
define the outcome of adopting the values and practicing the life-skills. It is advisable that the
goals should be explicit and well structured. Hence they ought to be in the form of written
document. A goal should be SMART. For successful achievement it has to be:

CXXV. Specific: Detailed and precise understanding of where one wants to go.

CXXVI. Measurable: One should be able to see step by step progress in quantifiable terms.

CXXVII. Attainable: The Goal should be within the capacity to achieve.

CXXVIII. Realistic: It should be possible to be achieved within the resources, ability and challenge
available.

CXXIX. Time bound: It should be time bound.

CXXX. The goal should be written in the positive instead of negative words. The reason for
writing the goal is to create a set of instructions for the subconscious mind to carry out. The
subconscious mind cannot differentiate between right and wrong. It simply carries out the
instructions. If the goal is written in details this detailed information will be available to the
 subconscious mind for clear outcomes. Goal should be set slightly higher than the capacity. The
goal should be reviewed frequently. One may be required to revise a goal as per the
circumstances. If it is required to change a goal, it should not be considered to be failure. Goal
setting is one of the most powerful tool one can make use of for the development of personality.

CXXXI.

CXXXII. Advantages of writing Goals:

Strengthens the will power to develop a healthy personality.

Helps to remain focused
Enhances awareness towards available opportunities
Provides consistent motivation
Enhances decision making ability
Helps to create the future one wants
Builds up the self confidence
Enables a person to lead a meaningful life as opposed to just managing it.

CXXXIII. Swami Vivekanand has said Arise, awake, stop not till goal is achieved. For the development
of an overall personality the goal setting may be done in the prime areas of life namely Health,
Education, Career, Family and Spiritual.

CXXXIV. 11.6 Tips for Personality development:

CXXXV. Following are some of the tips one should always keep in mind while working for
development of personality.

Know Yourself: Aristotle has said Knowing your self is the beginning of all wisdom. Before
developing personality, one needs to know about himself, by analyzing the thoughts, actions and
habits, by measuring own strengths and weakness.
Bring Positivity: Ones thoughts and actions both need to be positive in order to have an
attractive personality. The way one thinks has a lot of effect on how he acts. Situations and
circumstances in life can always be full of highs and lows, but in order to adopt a positive outlook
towards life, one needs to look at the brighter side of everything. A person can alter his life by
altering thinking.
Have an Opinion:Having an opinion and being able to confidently put it forward just makes
ones conversation interesting. However, learning is needed before making an opinion, so that it
becomes appreciable . People become more impressed by depth of conviction than the height of
logic.
Meet new people: Meeting new and different kinds of people is a healthy step towards
broadening ones vision and enhancing the awareness. By meeting the people one gets an
 opportunity to know more about other cultures and life styles. When one seeks to discover the
best in others, he brings out the same in himself.
Develop Hobbies: A person without hobbies has very little to talk about. But if one has
developed hobbies for himself, he can attract and interact with many people, by sharing
information and knowledge.
Become a good listener: Listening is not same as hearing. Hearing refers to the sounds that enter
ones ears. Listening means hearing and paying attention to what is being told, how it is being
told, what is the body language of the person who is telling. Being a good listener is an important
step towards developing likable personality. For being a good listener, one needs to have a
receptive mind. It is said Great minds discuss ideas, average mind discuss events and small
minds discuss people.
Be Courteous: Courtesy is the showing of politeness in ones attitude and behavior towards
others. A courteous person is well appreciated and respected by everyone. Being humble and
extending greeting with a smile makes an attractive personality. Help of others will come as a
help for the self.
Work on Body Language: Body language is a kind of non verbal communication, where
thought, intentions, or feelings are expressed by physical behaviours such as facial expressions,
body posture, guesters, eye movement, touch and use of space. A good body language is one of
the most important requisite for good personality. It tells a lot about oneself and enables others to
make a good conjecture about the person. The way in which one sits, walks, talks or eats leave an
impact in the people around. Therefore one should improve his body language.
Check Attire: Attire means the clothing of a distinctive style for a particular occasion. It is also
known as outfit. Ones attire plays an important role for making a desirable impression. An
appropriate attire boosts confidence by realization that oneself is looking good and dressed
properly for the occasion. Dressing in a decent manner does not mean wearing clothes of flashy
colours. Neat, clean, and ironed clothes make one presentable.
Be yourself: There is a saying that An original is always worth more than a copy. Though
one can always look upto other people to get inspired, but he should not copy others and remain
unique self because God has created every human being with uniqueness. Imitation may be
entertaining but originality is enliving. It is usual that what one sees in others, is the same as he
does not see in himself. For a distinguishable personality, one should remain own self.
Be Confident: It is said that Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud. Being confident
about oneself is the most important tip for personality development. One should never doubt own
capabilities. If there is something one needs to work upon, then all the efforts should be made so
that the fear is overcome and confidence is gained. Motivational thoughts can boost up not only
the confidence but self esteem as well. The confidence gets eroded when jealousy begins.
CXXXVI. Twenty points for empowerment:

CXXXVII. The following 20 points will empower a person to develop his personality:

1. Have clear goals. 16. Acknowledge gratefully any help

2. Have values clarification.
received.
3. Acquire essential life skills.
17. Do not see intention behind other
4. Be soft spoken.
5. Do not complain about what cannot be mistakes.
18. Do not criticize others.
changed.
19. Live in the present moment.
6. Stop procrastination.
20. Help others.
7. Concentrate on self improvement.
21. Think and feel good about yourself.
8. Do not try, do it.
22. Accept people and circumstances as
9. Never give up.
10. Become free from envy and ego. they are.
11. Be prepared to learn new things. 23. Keep smiling as much as possible.
12.
13. 24.
14.
15. Admit own weaknesses.
25.
 26. Questions for Learners
1. Describe Auto-suggestion Technique for development of personality.
2. Explain the role of subconscious mind in development of personality.
3. What is law of attraction? How is it applicable in personality development?
4. What is meant by positive attitude?
5. How is attitude related to positive attitude?
6. What are the characteristics of positive, negative and neutral attitudes?
7. What is meant by the term stress and what are its causes?
8. When is the stress beneficial to a person?
9. Explain the difference between Eustress and Distress?
10. Discuss the relationship between performance and stress level.
11. What are the symptoms of distress?
12. How can the stress be managed?
13. What is meant by the term Goal Setting and what are its advantages?
14. How can a person acquire good personality?
27.