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 features
m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6

The Anxiety
and the Ecstasy
Audra McDonald has
one of the greatest voices in
Broadway history.
plus: 28 other reasons
why this is a new golden
age of theater.
By Jesse Green
44

Pop!
Dr. Sandra Lee was
a run-of-the-mill
California dermatologist.
Then she started
filming as she exploded
her patients pimples.
By Robert Moor
58
G R O O M I N G B Y K U M I C R A I G AT T H E WA L L G R O U P; CO S T U M E D E S I G N B Y
J E N N I F E R VO N M AY R H A U S E R ; S T Y L I N G B Y M A RY M A R G A R E T P O W E R S

Death by Text
Conrad Roys teenage
girlfriend repeatedly
sent him messages urging
him to kill himself. Is
she a murderer?
By Marin Cogan
64
Timothe
Chalamet, the
star of Off
Broadways
Prodigal Son.

Photograph by Norman Jean Roy 11

 AN AMERICAN IN PARIS
MUSIC AND LYRICS BY
GEORGE GERSHWIN AND IRA GERSHWIN
BOOK BY
CRAIG LUCAS
DIRECTED AND CHOREOGRAPHED BY

WINNER!
CHRISTOPHER WHEELDON

PALACE THEATRE, Broadway and 47th St.

TICKETMASTER.COM or 877.250.2929
4 TONY AWARDS AnAmericanInParisBroadway.com
intelligencer strategist

21
Politics 75
m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
A primary-season survey, Best of New York
including: Jonathan Chait on Where to find the very
the ideological chasm between best bespoke salsa, shark
Trump and conservatives; cocktails, and millennial-
Rebecca Traister on Hillary
dad clothes this year
versus Donald; Noreen
Malone on confounded liberals; featuring: The (all-
and Gabriel Sherman on time) best breakfast
Bloombergs aggravation. sandwich, Caesar salad,
plus: Our political team and hot dog. Period.
imagines you-know-who in
the White House
the culture pages
36
114 Minutes With
HouseofCards Michael Kelly, 105
whose fictional world is now including: Sixcenturiesof
less strange than the real one unfinishedartintheMet-occupied
By Carl Swanson Whitneybuilding;Bjarke
38 Ingelsspyramidon57thStreet;a
The Urbanist midlifenovelistsbigdebut;Gwen
Uber around the world, from Stefani, worlds oldest teenager
Mexico City (where drivers 116
reveal taco tips) to Cape Town Critics
(with a female driver) to the movies by David Edelstein:
south of France Augmented-reality comedy
Creative Control is virtually
the cut perfect; Knight of Cups feels
like self-parody
books by Christian
69 Lorentzen: Tony Tulathimuttes
And Just Like That, on-point Silicon Valley satire
Balenciaga Is Back tv by Matt Zoller Seitz:
With Vuitton alum Demna Underground is gripping
Gvasalia at the helm
By Cathy Horyn 126
Party Lines
131
To Do
Twenty-five picks for
the next two weeks

16 Comments
18 Reread
155 Marketplace
170 New York Crossword,
by Cathy Allis
172 The Approval Matrix

on the cover:
Illustrations by Lauren
Tamaki. This page, Southside
Coffees breakfast sandwich.
Photograph by Bobby Doherty.

14 n e w y o r k | nymag.com For customer service, call 800-678-0900.

 Comments
WHEN YOU CANT BE AT HOME,

STAY AT OURS.
MTA,WTF:
Kanye, Three Ways
/ Th St t gi t N i hb Ch llenge:
One ypi al y
awful day p 36 / John Oliver, Patriot:
F rst s ep ta k
o hem p 60
The Music, by Lindsay Zoladz p 82
The Clothes, by Cathy Horyn p 49
The Ego, by Rembert Browne p 20
A con ersat on
p 30

Chait: The End of th As We Knew It / The Next Obamas p 13 p 16

February 22 March 6 2016

Single
Women
Are Now the
Most Potent
Political Force
in America
By Rebecca
Traister

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Bernie Sanders was actually the candi-

date who best represented single womens
interests. Though Clinton has long
championed causes that are important to
unmarried women (like early childhood
education and healthcare reform), Sand-
ers aggressive progressiveness and eco-
A sweeping survey of sculpture, nomic stances have become increasingly
photography, and video. more appealing But regardless of who
gets the Democratic nomination, Traister
Infectiously playful... reminds us, its assumed that single
marvelously entertaining. New York Times womenregardless of race or classwill
overwhelmingly vote left and not right.
Commenter KeyLimePie agreed: Its to the
point where I cringe every time the Repub-
lican candidates mention what theyre
going to do for middle class families. The
tacit message being that single voters dont
matter, or dont share their values Just
over 50 percent of American adults are now
singlenot just women! All of these
singletons deserve acknowledgment and
should be courted by candidates! Many
commenters responded to the cover image.
Through April 27 I love the hand graphic, commented clip-
pityclop. If it isnt already a symbol of em-
5th Ave at 89th St powerment, then it might become one.
GUGGENHEIM.ORG/ FISCHLI WEISS
#Fischli Weiss
2 In the last issue, Robert Kolker de-
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The Faders Myles Tanzer. [I] had to switch
trains three times because I was panicking
so much.

3 The death of Supreme Court justice

Antonin Scalia, wrote Jonathan Chait,
sounded the demise not only of a towering
justice, or even of his slender majority,
but of the institutions ancient and invio-
lable standing in political life (Will the
Supreme Court Just Disappear?, Febru-
ary 22March 6). Twitter user @jaypinho
thought Chait missed a key point. Dems
control 9/13 appeals courts. GOP doesnt
win with vacancy. But many readers found
Chaits observations deeply troubling.
This is a very scary outline of the very
real constitutional crisis we are living
through, tweeted @kentuckyjohnson.
Once the newer generation of hard-core
conservative Republican legislators decid-
ed that political victory for their side was
more important than honoring the tradi-
tions and norms that made the system
work, wrote commenter DRF55, the sys-
tem ground to a halt and will remain fro-
zen. I wonder if this is what the death
spiral for a functioning democracy looks
like, added @jcfay.
L Send correspondence to [email protected].
Or go to nymag.com to respond to individual stories.
 Reread
Nobody was there yet. Ticketmaster made
its first online sale the next year.
He further recommended that produc-
ers one-up the scalpers by selling premium
seating, as The Producers eventually did
and most shows now do. The diagnosis
ended with a plea for composers to embrace
newer music. Musical theater today is
everywhere but Broadway, he wrote, citing
the storytelling ability of the man then
known as Snoop Doggy Dogg. At last,
Goldstein concludes, Broadway could join
the 90s. Or at least the 60s.

The Aftermath
Broadway has indeed come back, and is
livelier and more exciting than it has been in
generations (see page 54 for 28 reasons
why), but it did so via a route somewhat dif-
ferent from the one we laid out. The unions
May 29, 1995 certainly werent busted, but some of their
most expensive work rules have been rene-
When the Lights gotiated. (A show at the Majestic Theatre,
for example, was required to hire 26 musi-
Almost Went Out cians in the pit; now the minimum is 18.)
Load-in requirementswhich had meant
Twenty years ago, Broadways survival was a legitimate question. that getting a shows set and props into the
By Christopher Bonanos theater could cost nearly $1 millionhave
been tamed slightly. And, Goldstein says to-
day, One thing that I got wrongI said
The Story When New York took a long look at Broad- something about profit sharing, and to my
way back in 1995, there was no talk of a golden age. In- knowledge thats never happened. But a
stead, the question on the table was Can Broadway Be buddy of mine pointed out to me that theyve
got 12 producers names above the title on
Saved?, and you could be forgiven for thinking that the some shows. Its definitely not profit sharing,
answer was no. The business was looking particularly but almost loss sharing. You just have to get
frail, after a decade of nearly flat box-office take. Artisti- a lot of people to sign up who might not
cally, the dominant form in that decade had been the mind sharing in a $15 million bath.
Most of all, though, two things hap-
blowsy, razzle-dazzle British-import musical: Cats, The pened: Tourismstoked by governmental
Phantom of the Opera, Les Misrables, even (God help us) Starlight Express. actionpoured money into Times Square
Various factors (union featherbedding, steep rents) had driven up ticket and its environs, and the subsequent
prices, making a theater visit an occasional treat instead of a regular event. growth of the audience widened the realm
of possibilities. Amid semi-permanent fix-
Meanwhile, the product was pretty thin. show to send freebies to 800 voters, a letter tures like Chicago and Jersey Boys, unorth-
In the 199495 season, exactly two new mu- writer noted the following week.) Broad- odox shows like Fun Home and The Curi-
sicals opened, one of which (Smokey Joes way needs a czar. (Who?) Serving up ous Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Cafe) was really a staged revue. The theater McTheaterthat is, licensing halls across have run in the black. Ten new musicals
community was demoralized, too, not least the country to produce plays on the cheap, were staged in the 201415 season, and
because you could barely go a day without creating competition for upper-middlebrow although the year had its share of clunkers,
seeing a young male actor or costumer or set moviegoers. (The quality control ) three of the ten were critical and commer-
designer in the Times obituary pages, the But other ideas he set forth were not cial successes. Even movie adaptations like
cause of death elided with a proximate eu- only workable but necessary. Absurd Bring It On: The Musical and Kinky Boots
phemism like pneumococcal pneumonia. union work rules for stagehands and are a lot better than they need to be.
Michael Goldstein, who wrote the feature musicians were crying out to be renegoti- Snoop Dogg never got a Broadway revue,
for New York, laid out a 12-step plan, ated. Ticket sales had to be modernized but Tupac Shakur did (albeit unsuccess-
suggesting (in step one) that Broadways the virtual box office is the phrase fully)and, of course, hip-hops vigor finally
overlords first had to acknowledge their here, describing an order-by-phone arrived in the form of Lin-Manuel Miranda,
problems. The remaining 11 points included arrangement like the 777-FILM movie- with In the Heights and Hamilton. Twenty
a few ideas that, admittedly, were never ticket system. Notably, Goldstein wrote, years on, Broadway did finally find the
going to pan out: Opening the Tony awards Its also time for the half-price TKTS 1990s, and has a clue about moving beyond
to Off Broadway. (It would clobber a small booth to hop on the info superhighway. them. Even if Cats is due back this fall.

18 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
 2016 Goose Island Beer Co., Soe Ale, Chicago, IL. | Enjoy responsibly.
 inside: The Trump effect, four ways: Chait, Malone, Traister, Sherman / House of Cards enforcer / Urbanist: Uber international

people get worked up during presidential campaigns. But

The National Interest: the rise of Donald Trump has provoked conservative intellec-
tuals to express their dismay in existential tones. Conservative
Jonathan Chait writers have used terms like unmitigated, unalloyed, poten-
S O U R C E P H OTO G R A P H : M A R K P E T E R S O N / R E D U X

tially unsalvageable disaster to describe a Trump nomination

and have declared that they are fighting for our movements
Why, Exactly, Is existence. Marco Rubio has made this kind of talk the lingua
franca of his once relentlessly chummy campaign, warning

Trump Driving that the Republican Party would split apart were Trump to
prevail. Trumps opponents have planned for the kinds of dire,

Conservatives So Crazy? schismatic responses not seen in generations of American presi-

dential politics: using the partys summer convention, normally

The answer has nothing a scripted infomercial, to wrest the nomination from him.
Or even bolting the GOP to start a third party.
The fear inspired by Trump is not merely that he would blow
to do with his character. the partys chances of winning the presidency (though he

Illustration by Murphy Lippincott m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 21

 p
e intelligencer
m
th

ct
u
fe
probably would), or even that he Republicans still rail against gays and
Trumps cult
r
ef
t

would saddle it with long-term immigrants. Representative Steve Scal-

damage among the growing Latino
bloc (though he would do that as well). It
of personality ise, the House majority whip, has ties to
the white-supremacist movement and
is that Trump would release the conser- implies the once described himself as David Duke
vative movements policy hammerlock on
the Republican Party.
heretical without the baggage. Nothing Trump
has said about immigrants, the Ku Klux
The ideological stakes in a fight possibility that Klan, or anything else violates the GOPs
between conservatives and Trump can be
difficult for outsiders to fathom. After all,
government baseline standards. The problem is that
he implicitly proposes to invert the par-
Trump endorsed Mitt Romney, loathes could be made tys hierarchy, prioritizing its right-wing
President Obama, favors a gigantic tax
cut, denies global warming, issues ritual
to work. social resentments while tolerating ambi-
guity on economics. And his popularity
praise for Ronald Reagan, and so on. But suggests that maybe average Republicans
one place to starta mystery that reveals arent maniacally obsessed with shrink-
a clueis a recent report in the Times ing government after all.
describing frantic efforts to organize an By making race and nationalism the
intraparty opposition to Trump. At one text rather than the subtext of Republi-
meeting, advisers to the Koch broth- can politics, Trump threatens not only
ers, who control a political organization the partys agenda but the self-concep-
much larger than the actual Republican tion of its intellectual class. The conser-
Party, characterized Mr. Trumps record vative movement seized control of the
as utterly unacceptable, and highlighted Republican Party momentarily in 1964
his support for government-funded busi- during Barry Goldwaters candidacy,
ness subsidies and government-backed and completely in the decades to come.
health care. It succeeded in large part because many
That may seem oddTrumps position whites, especially in the working class,
on health care looks almost indistin- identified the GOP as the party that would
guishable from that of the rest of the protect their security and tax dollars from
field. He calls Obamacare a disaster and weaning an economy off fossil fuels, and black people. Conservatives prefer to
promises to repeal it and replace it with a the general budgetary principle that tax deny this history. Liberals may have been
sketchily defined alternative that will revenue needs to bear some long-term fond of claiming that Republicans were
take care of everybody without any trade- relation to expenditures. Trump does all closet bigots and that tax cuts were
offs. But the basis for the suspicion lies in not challenge anti-government ortho- a form of racial prejudice, but the accu-
Trumps long-ago-renounced support for doxy frontally. Instead, he evades it. He sation rang hollow because the evidence
single-payer health insurance and his denounces government for being not for it was so tendentious, wrote The
more recent promises not to allow people too big but too dumb, and his solution Wall Street Journal columnist Bret Ste-
to die in the streets, a line that provoked frequently involves not shrinking it but phens recently, citing as counterevidence
horror in Rubio and Ted Cruz at a Febru- putting a smart person in charge (him- William F. Buckleys break with a small
ary debate. Before Obamacare, those too self ). Trumps cult of personality implies sect of anti-Semitic conspiracy theorists
poor or sick to afford insurance routinely the heretical possibility that government to help found the modern conserva-
died from illness or suffered horribly. By could be made to work. tive movement. Not anymore. Now, he
invoking their suffering, Trump implied The Republican Party has, for decades, said, Trump had besmirched the move-
that Obamacare did something good. been organized around a stable hierarchy ments long record of racial innocence. In
More important, his history of liberal- of priorities, the highest of which is to a similar spirit, the Republican consul-
ism and his aversion to letting the unin- reduce taxes for the wealthiest Ameri- tant Rick Wilson, who has spearheaded
sured die in the streets imply that Trump cans, i.e., job creators, and loosen regu- the partys anti-Trump backlash, recently
lies outside the anti-government consen- lation of business. As long as their party lamented Trumps refusal to immediately
sus that has ruled the party for decades. is anchored by its economic consensus, disavow the Klan: A generation of work
Among major conservative parties in the conservatives tolerate wide disagree- with African-Americans, slow, patient
democratic world, the U.S. Republican ment on social issues. Some Republicans work weve pissed that away because
Party is unique in its ideological anti- want to expand the partys coalition by of Donald Trump in one day. In reality,
statism. Conservative parties elsewhere taking more liberal stances on issues like Buckley spent the civil-rights movement
accept universal health insurance, the gay marriage, immigration, and racism mocking Martin Luther King Jr. and
idea that government might play a role in in the criminal-justice system. Other defending white supremacy and spent

New Yorks team of political to him, Cheney style? presidents in history! Not a bad Gabriel Sherman: At his
commentators, moderated Rebecca Traister: No way. comeback from Bridgegate. business, Trump does very little
by digital editor Ben Wil- Too much competition. Traister: I wouldnt be of the actual work. He listens
Imagining liams, gathers to envision
the barely envisionable.
Marin Cogan: I cant see
Trump ceding control to
surprised if he kept a VP
subsidiary but got a bunch of
to people and absorbs what
they say. He doesnt use a com-
President Trump: anyone, but its clear hed need advisers and maybe a cabinet puter or read much. He doesnt
A Conversation Williams: Its Friday, January
20, 2017, Trumps inauguration.
someone whos actually, you
know, done this before. Maybe
that could really steer him.
Annie Lowrey: Im guessing
have much attention span.
Jonathan Chait: Paul Ryan.
Is Christie the VP? And does it is Christie, and he ends up as he fills it with yahoos He is the real leader of the
Trump subcontract governing one of the most powerful vice- and its a catastrophe. party. In times of stress they

22 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
Lester Holt
Iowa Caucuses

We go to the story
so you get the story.
 p
e intelligencer
m
th

ct
u
fe
the 80s defending apartheid in
r
ef
t

South Africa. The Republican Par-

tys work with African-Americans is
mostly focused on making it harder for
them to vote, and Republican presiden-
tial candidates share of the black vote
has declined from the mid-teens in the
70s to the midsingle digits in the last
couple of elections.
Trump has also exposed another,
Oh, And He Is Also Driving
equally deep insecurity among right-
wing intellectuals: the fear that their
Some Liberals Crazy
movement appeals to rubes. The con- Like this one, who feels
servative movements tightening grip
over the Republican Party has coincided strangely conservative.
with its elevation of leaders incapable of
explaining their policies cogently. Ron-
By Noreen Malone
ald Reagan, George W. Bush, and Sarah
Palin all drew the disdain of liberal elites
for their reliance on simplistic aphorisms n super tuesday, Donald Trump took the stage for a press confer-
and poor grasp of detail, humiliating
conservative intellectuals, who defended
the keen minds of their heroes. Whether
or not Donald Trump the human being
is intelligent, theres no question that
Donald Trump, presidential candidate,
is not. His entire campaign operates well
O ence at the symbolic epicenter of the most vibrant American-pop-
ulist movement in decades, the Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach.
Liberal viewers at home whove spent the last months transfixed in
a horror-show kind of way by Trump suddenly couldnt stop staring
at Chris Christie, standing behind him on the podium. In Christies dead eyes
and uncomfortable-seeming mien, they joked on Twitter, there was a whiff of
the hostage, or at the very least someone realizing too late the distastefulness
below the level of rational thoughtits of what hed signed up for. Chris Christie spent the entire speech screaming
all boasting, absurd promises, repetitive wordlessly, wrote Alexandra Petri in the Washington Post. Someone looped
sloganeering, and abuse. Just as email footage of Christie set to the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song.
scammers intentionally salt their mes- The meme was pure projection; rather than consider that perhaps Christie
sages with typos in order to weed out is thoroughly unpracticed at standing in the background, we constructed
anyone educated enough to see through a fantasy that better fit with our own feelings about Trump. And rather than
their swindle, allowing them to focus acknowledge that Trump was making a turn toward the general election (in
on the most gullible, Trump seems to what counts as progress, he said the African-Americans rather than the
consciously repel anyone possessed of blacks), we nervously seized on the nearest possible joke. This mix of alarm
a brain. When he says he could shoot and dismissive disbelief that Democratsor at least Democrats I knoware
somebody on Fifth Avenue and not lose experiencing is only getting more pronounced as the months go on. Whether
any support, or that he appeals to the it is tinged with joy or dread has become a revealing window into the way that
poorly educated, he is broadcasting his people who believe they agree about politics actually dont.
contempt for his supporters. I probably shouldnt admit this, but I get the Donald Trump appeal. Sort of,
The secret fear lying beneath Rubios anyway. Oh, not the virulent racism or sexism. Not his dumb tax plan, not his
accurate depiction of Trump as a con art- ridiculous claims about his own success. But remember the first GOP debate,
ist is that Republican voters are easy all the way back in August? This was a more innocent time, before Trump had
marks. The Republican Party is con- pretended that he needed to research the KKK further before disavowing it, or
structed as a machine: Into one end are before Nate Silver noticed that the single best correlate for supporting Trump
fed the atavistic fears of the white work- was Google searches for the word nigger. Sure, Trump had already said that he
ing class as grist, and out the other end wanted to build a wall to keep out rapist Mexicans, but at the time, like just
pops The Wall Street Journal editorial- about every liberal (and moderate, and conservative) I knew, I figured hed
page agenda as the finished product. already disqualified himself from being taken seriously by anyone. So we were
Trump has shown movement conserva- free to gawk at the sideshow, which was genuinely great TVhas there ever
tives how terrifyingly rickety that machine been a more fascinating extemporaneous speaker in American politics? Even
is and how easily it can be seized from Hillary Clintons campaign manager, Robby Mook, was excited to tune in. Shh,
them by a demagogue and repurposed Ive got to get me some Trump, he told the room at her headquarters. It was
toward some other goal. the most-watched primary debate ever.

turn to him. The request would to be so powerful in the Trump or someone he hasnt bullied Carl Icahn was telling people Kilgore: If Trump is smart,
be to save them from the abyss. administration. But my guess before? [Former RNC Trump doesnt even really the first thing he does is
Ed Kilgore: I cant imagine is that Ryan wont listen to chairman] Michael Steele? talk to him much. Its hilarious: appoint a Supreme Court nom-
Ryan agreeing to go on the Trump, and I think Trump Kilgore: Im thinking [Florida Trump is out there saying inee that conservative activists
ticket when he would be will employ his considerable governor] Rick Scott. Hes Icahn will be his trade guy. adore. Would buy him a lot of
the congressional party broker executive authority and have temperamentally compatible Icahn told a source hes not time and space from the base.
with the Trump administra- a deeply adversarial relation- with Trump, from a key battle- going to be Treasury secretary. Cogan: Beyond winning
tionnot to mention the ship with Congress. ground state, a non-Washing- Williams: Which of Trumps a lot and deportations and the
successor-savior in 2020. Rembert Browne: Would he tonian, soon to be out of a job. campaign promises can wall and not letting people
Lowrey: The Speaker is going pick someone he used to bully Sherman: A while back I heard he actually deliver on? die in the street because they

24 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
AZZEDINE ALAA

DANDY WELLINGTON
T H E L M A WA S H I N GTO N
E V E T TA P E T T Y

R E T U R N TO D O W N TO W N N E W YO R K 7 T H AV E N U E A N D 1 6 T H ST R E E T N O W O P E N

BA R N E YS.CO M N E W YO R K BOSTON CHICAGO L AS VEGAS LOS ANGELES SAN FR ANCISCO SCOT TSDALE S E AT T L E

F O R I N S I D E R FA S H I O N A C C E S S : T H E W I N D O W. B A R N E Y S . C O M
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Back then, it was okay for urban After all: For every person who points out
Politics
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sophisticates to buy and ironically that perhaps the surprising popularity of the
wear the make america great again
hat (not unlike the trucker hats theyd
had gotten not-so-conservative Trump will allow the
GOP to slow its move rightward, another
embraced a decade before) because Trump wild and person chimes in to mention the devastating
was the candidate of camp. Politics had sud-
denly gotten wild and unruly again, and a lot
unruly effect his nomination will have on Americas
standing abroad. After seven years in which
of us were into it. Part of the fun of following again, and the Obama administration mostly made the
these elections, for all but the wonkiest of
wonks, is the soap opera, the delectable
a lot of us rest of the world forgive us for having elected
George W. Bush, suddenly we come back
people-watching of observing the countrys were into it. with this guy who makes Bush look like
biggest egos on the biggest stage they can
find, seeking to fill whatever cavern is in
At first. Churchill. El Pas published an imaginary
letter from King Philip II to Trump suggest-
their soul that makes them want to be presi- ing that he might bring back the Inquisition.
dent. For the past 40 years, even as candi- Its easy to imagine isis recruiters smiling at
dates have moved toward greater levels of the primary results.
narcissism and power-seeking, theyve also And whatever conservatives might think,
moved toward greater precision in their nar- election thanks to many of the same charac- theres no real pleasure for a liberal in real-
ratives, in their sound bites, in their adher- teristics Obama used to beat her eight years izing that the most cynical things she might
ence to lawyerly correctness and deadly ago, is getting tossed aside like yesterdays have believed about the modern Republican
carefulness. A news cycle that hungrily fed bottled water, while Trump continues to say voter are at least in some cases true, or in
on gaffes seemed to guarantee that only racist things in a country whose minorities seeing people with supposedly deeply held
personality-free robots who made the fewest make up 40 percent of its citizens? Great! moral views (about abortion, about religion)
unforced errors would ever become nomi- And to the extent hes gutting a climate- set them aside without blinking. Theres not
nees. And we even found fault with our first change-denying, abortion-rights-restrict- even much fun left to be had by the profes-
such bot! Remember when Mitt Romneys ing, health-care-ruining, one-percenter- sional comics who used to see Trump as the
earnest attempts at hiring more women abetting Republican Party, is that such a bad perfect raw material. (Donald Trump is the
binders full of womenbecame what thing? A Trump nomination is a high-risk first joke Ive ever been offended by, tweeted
passed for a scandal? That man had literally proposition, sure, but also high rewardthe comic Morgan Murphy.)
never had a drop of liquor to drink. And now dismantling of a stultifying and unsustain- For most of our lifetimes, politics has of-
along came a candidate who had not only able status quo. fered up only incremental changes: progress
acquired three wives with kingly cavalier- Then theres another category of voter, the that accrues or recedes slowly; a presidency
ness (Model, actress, model might be the risk-averse. A Trump general-election de- that, regardless of rhetoric, flips from center-
new Divorced, beheaded, dies) but had feat isnt a sure thing; everyones been wrong leftish to center-rightish; a Congress that
regularly done such things as go on The about him so far. What if somehow the GOP does the same polite do-si-do. A creaky but
Howard Stern Show to discuss how he manages to organize itself around him? stable old system that nobody thought
could have fucked the then-recently-dead What if his poll numbers continue to magi- worked very well but just kept working any-
Princess Diana. America is a weird, very cally rise, in new and unexpected demo- way. Theres something a little awe-inspiring
grandiose country, more Trump than Rom- graphics? What if Clinton gets indicted, at to think about how our democracy has been
ney. Trumps directness, his ridiculousness, the last minute, for something about those built on the good taste of the electorate as
his often spot-on and fascinating cruelty emails? Stranger things have happened! much as the electorate itself, something ex-
hes the star of a premium-cable show about And then there are people like me. What citing about realizing that the high drama of
a billionaire-populist anti-hero running for Ive come to realize about myself, watching a living constitutional democracy isnt con-
president, one we loved until we realized it Trumps rise, is that I have a higher degree fined to Hamilton. But it can also be plain-
couldnt be turned off. of personal, if not political, conservatism old terrifying. The old ways of being, the
Now the question becomes: How do you than Id realized. Its not necessarily my low America we felt at home insuddenly the
feel when real life is adapted from television, appetite for risk, its that I am suddenly ground has shifted under our feet. And in
rather than the reverse? There are a few dis- more concerned about the dignity of the the anger that I feel about my displacement,
tinct ways liberals and moderates have been country than Id ever imagined myself to be, my lack of control, I realize, once again, that
dealing with the prospect of Trumps nomi- in agreement with the Romney-bot when maybe Im not as different from the Trump
nation. For some purely results-oriented he shreds Trumps temperament. I find my- voters as Id like to think. I understand what
Democrats, his rise has been an occasion for self thinking about how much things like it is to be confused about a new world order.
exhilaration: Are they really going to make honor and tradition underpin my be- Our country is going to hell, Trump said on
it this easy? Marco Rubio, who might have liefs, as if I were the Republican candidate the stage in Palm Beach, as the crowd
seemed able to best Clinton in a general fixing a flag to my lapel. cheered, and I nodded along at home.

lack health care, what has with. Hes like, Lets see if is a massive stimulus, which Lowrey: I dont think that he center eventually, because its
he promised? I can change something in the Republicans will be for again. actually unwinds Obamacare. the path of least resistance.
Chait: His views have changed Constitution this month? Lowrey: All on the tax side. It would be politically and Traister: I dont think he
so wildly, and he has so little Chait: That sounds right. How regressive they are will be economically disastrous. panders. I dont think he is
to say on substance, it is possi- Lowrey: If theres an economic an interesting question. Williams: So does President a centrist. So Im gonna go with
ble to make the case for any slowdown, that will mean tax Chait: Why not infrastructure? Trump pander to the GOP hes an unpredictable wild card.
number of things he wants. cuts, which Congress will pass. He could enact the Sanders agenda, does he try to be Margaret Hartmann: What if
Or none, more likely. Chait: Yup. If Trump is elected, infrastructure plan. Construc- a centrist, or is he just an Trump does propose a centrist
Browne: I think he just wants that means there was probably tion unions would love it. unpredictable wild card? policy? Do congressional Dem-
to see what he can get away a huge recession. So first order Traister: And health care? Chait: He would move to the ocrats go along with it, or reject

26 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
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calm in the face of a loud opponent. But
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theres Bernie Sanders loud and then

theres Donald Trump loud. And while the
second might seem less presidential, its
scored him rapturous fans and high rat-
ings and robust victories all over the coun-
try. The know-it-all woman does not usu-
Could Hillary Clinton ally win the debate on Jerry Springer, and
its this chair-throwing free-for-all spirit
Ever Have Imagined This? that Trump has successfully cultivated.
Trumps enthusiasm for exploiting
The first nominated female Clintons weaknesses will surely gratify her
critics on the rightand perhaps even
candidate against the parts of the left. As others have predicted,
he is likely to hit her hard on her support
face of American misogyny. for nafta in manufacturing states like
Ohio. And he will no doubt take every bit
By Rebecca Traister of oppo on her and deploy it without
euphemism or apology. The most insidi-
ous move will be going after Bill Clinton
for his sexual misbehavior, and after Hill-
illary clinton is mov- the living embodiment of this countrys ary herself for whatever role she played in

H ing ever closer to becoming

something this country has
never had before: a woman
nominated by a major politi-
cal party to be the president of the United
States. The possibility that she will go
head-to-head against Donald Trump
sexist id: an orange-tinted phallus in
a fuck hillary, god knows she needs
it T-shirt.
How these bizarre circumstances will
play out on debate stages and then at the
polls is surely one of the most perilous
chasms of uncertainty ever to yawn open
covering it up. Its a strategy that, if he
executes it carefully, could work against
her in two waysreinforcing the gender-
based devaluation of her that resonates so
gratifyingly with his natural base, while
tempering the feminist defense by casting
her as an enemy of women.
puts the historic nature of her campaign before us. Because, despite its seemingly That said, running against Donald
in even starker relief. Had Republicans patent absurdity, there is plenty to suggest Trump, a man who last month suggested
nominated someone like Jeb Bush or that a Trump candidacy could spell trou- he needed to do more research on the Ku
Marco Rubio, the regressive gender poli- ble for Hillary. His brash, dickish approach Klux Klan before condemning its endorse-
tics of their party might have stayed hid- badly destabilized his seasoned GOP ment of him, might be just the thing to
den under a veneer of rhetorical admi- opponents, and it could be similarly dam- drive actual enthusiasm for Clintonnot
ration for womens equality. But Trump aging to Clinton, whose debate strengths just as the lesser of two evils but as a van-
appears constitutionally incapable of rest on her knowledge, her competence, quisher of the clearly more horrifying one.
that. This is a guy who called Megyn Kelly andthis season anywayher cheerful Never does Clinton look better than when
dopey and talked about her bleeding doing battle with monsters. Its easy to for-
out of her wherever; took obvious plea- get that after two presidential-primary
sure in calling Ted Cruz a pussy; once cycles in which her opponents were ideal-
responded to criticism leveled at him istic men whom she couldnt hit too hard
by a New York Times columnist by cir- without alienating her base. But how
cling a photo of her, noting, The Face of might we react to an unmuzzled Hillary?
a Dog!; and discussed the size of his junk Maybe in the same way people cheered
during a Republican debate. He has also her when she went up against Trey Gowdy
signaled his willingness to go after Clinton and his Benghazi witch hunt, killing them
about her husbands past infidelities and with competence and tenacity and stam-
has already retweeted one of his followers The know-it-all ina, so that even her sharpest critics on the
saying of her, last year, If Hillary Clinton
cant satisfy her husband what makes her
woman does left had to give her credit and her poll
numbers went up.
think she can satisfy America? not usually win It has gone well for her, too, when her
In other words, Hillary Rodham Clinton
may be running her historic race to be
the debate on opponents have overplayed their aggres-
sive masculinity. Many still credit her first
Americas first woman president against Jerry Springer. Senate win in New York to the moment in

it because it came from Trump? reconciliation bill that repeals Eric Levitz: Wouldnt Congress down-ticket candidates. Trump ing with him. With Republi-
Browne: A bully wont just everything Obama did plus try to hold him to a reactionary voters arent GOP voters per se. cans itll be much trickier.
stop being a bully once he maybe a tax cut. Trump agenda? They might even Cogan: It is totally weird that Sherman: Heres a question:
becomes president. He will has yuuuuge leverage over have vetoproof majorities. hes running by bashing Wash- Does Trump actually try to do
find ways to harness that evil what would go in or stay out. Sherman: Im not sure ington leaders, and then also crazy stuff with the Justice
bully power and make it work Lowrey: Yeah. Lets recall a Trump win would give the promising that the way hell fix Department? Does he prose-
in his favor when it comes the last time we had a White GOP control over both houses. things is by making really cute Hillary as he says he will?
to dealing with Congress. House, Senate, and House The Establishment GOP is great deals with those same Traister: No. If Clinton
Kilgore: With any other GOP controlled by one party. freaked out that a Trump win Washington leaders. I cant loses, no one cares about
president, youd get a quick Big things happened. would mean big losses for imagine Democrats ever work- prosecuting her anymore.

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a televised debate in which her
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opponent, Rick Lazio, approached

her podium and demanded that she
sign a piece of paper. Lazio looked like
a bully and it worked in Clintons favor.
That Trumps misogyny is so unhidden
its like a thousand Rick Lazios storming
the podium at oncecould make it easier
to mount a feminist campaign for Hillary.
It shouldnt be hard to cast contemporary
Republicans as anti-woman when an
actual woman is running against a candi-
date who has said in the past that it
doesnt really matter what they [the press]
write as long as youve got a young and
beautiful piece of ass.
Clintons South Carolina speech, which
emphasized racial unity and a message of
peace, love, and understanding, forecasts
how she plans to frame her campaign in
opposition to the bombastic demagogue
who trades on anger and prejudice. But it
also points up just how much they are run-
ning in two separate elections, to be presi-
dent of two different countries. Trump is
running in the country that is in the midst
of a dramatic and terrifying backlash to
the social movements of the past 50 years;
Clinton represents the very victories of
some of those movements and is seeking to
And Might America
modestly stabilize their gains. In the end,
this may be an epic, gory battle between
Have Confused Its New York
those who are threatened by the changing
face of power in America and those who
Billionaire-Saviors?
are doing the changing. Probably notto Michael
Its hard to imagine there are many
voters who are really undecided between Bloombergs great dismay.
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. The
Clinton supporters want a president to be
By Gabriel Sherman
competent, capable, to understand how
to work the levers of political power. The
Trump supporters want a president to onald trumps romp through the primaries so far has been posi-
give jeering voice to their fury, a charac-
ter through whom they might vent their
frustration. Trump will never convince
the competence-seekers that he is more
qualified, and Hillary will never reach
the Trump enthusiasts; she is what they
despise. So the contest will really come
D tively gleeful. On his way to winning seven more states on Super Tues-
day, the New York billionaire said of this years election: Its tough, its
nasty, its mean, its vicious. Its beautiful.
If there is anyone as despairing as Trump is delighted, its another
New York billionaire: Michael Bloomberg. From his open desk at the headquar-
ters of Bloomberg LP, the financial-data company he returned to as CEO in Sep-
tember 2014, Bloomberg has been watching the primaries unfold with outrage
down to who can persuade more of their and frustration. Rarely a day goes by when Bloomberg doesnt hear Trump say
deeply divided constituencies to come to somethingsuch as his declaration that were going to build a wall or that cli-
the polls. And this is the dynamic that mate change is created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufac-
should give Democrats chills, because the turing noncompetitivethat makes him want to cough up the free soup served
carnival barkers job is knowing how to in the Bloomberg snack bar. On virtually every issue, Trumps positions are an
draw a crowd. affront to Bloombergs worldview. And it would be difficult to find two billionaires

Williams: Trump has knows the answer to: How win could be terrible for shrink the labor force by have to actually do anything
threatened to deport all real is he and how much is he minorities. It would validate 10.3 million workers and other than rattle the saber.
undocumented immigrants performing? And then, how the thuggish sentiments of his reduce real GDP by $1 trillion. Browne: I think if hes serious,
and cloaked himself in the beholden is he to his audience? followers. Remember that rally Youd need huge numbers America gets real violent.
ambience of white supremacy. Levitz: I think that regardless when his supporters thought it of lawyers, more prisons, The sneaky thing about Trump
How bad would his presidency of what Trump believes, his was okay to beat up a protester? a deportation infrastructure. surging is that its an indict-
be for minorities? Whats the win, like his candidacy, would Hartmann: Isnt it impossible Hartmann: Hes creating jobs! ment of the views of the coun-
worst-case scenario? reinvigorate the domestic to deport 11 million people? Kilgore: The default position try, and if he actually pulled it
Traister: That gets to this white-supremacist movement. Lowrey: The American Action on immigration is self- off, I think a lot of minorities
question that none of us Sherman: Culturally, a Trump Forum estimates it would deportation. Trump doesnt would be like, Well, we finally

30 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 Photograph by Dylan Coulter

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who are more stylistically opposed: necticut, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Illinois, Bloombergs view of Trump darkened as
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Trump, the fact-denying faux popu- Florida, Maryland, California, Georgia, his immigrant-bashing campaign gained
list who jets around in a gilded 757; Virginia, North Carolina, and Texas. steam. What galled him the most was his
Bloomberg, the hyperrational, Wall Were spending all day thinking and talk- divisive rhetoric, an adviser says. Another
Streetdefending technocrat who takes the ing about it, said a member of Bloom- Bloomberg associate puts it more harshly:
subway (when hes not flying his helicopter). bergs team, who like most of the three Michael thinks Trump is a bloviating,
Bloombergs idea of public service still has dozen people interviewed for this article bald-faced liar who cant be trusted on any
a whiff of noblesse oblige; Trumps is more would only speak without attribution. deals. Hell tell you dozens of stories about
ignoble megalomania. And yet Hillary Clintons postNew Trump saying things he knows are patently
What surely galls Bloomberg the most is Hampshire recovery has tempered Bloom- false. Like how he built the Grand Hyatt in
the fact that Trump is actually doing what bergs lust for the highest office in the land. midtown, or donations hes made, or claims
Bloomberg, who explored presidential Hes told friends he does not want to chal- hes made about friends he lost on 9/11.
runs in 2008 and 2012, twice concluded lenge Clinton directly. He doesnt want to Michael says those are patently untrue.
was impossible. I am 100 percent con- be Ralph Nader, a close friend says. Bloom- Throughout the fall, Bloomberg received
vinced that you cannot in this country win berg and Clinton have a respectful rela- panicked calls from friends along the Acela
an election unless you are the nominee of tionship. In 2012, he lobbied her to run for corridor imploring him to do something to
one of the two major parties, he told this mayor as his successor. At the very least, he stop Trump. Daily News owner Mort Zuck-
magazine in 2013. The second thing I am is comforted by the fact that the Democratic erman, JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon,
convinced of is that I could not get through nominee likely wont be an avowed socialist. Tishman Speyer chairman Jerry Speyer, and
the primary process with either party. According to his advisers, Bloomberg is activist investor Bill Ackman all encouraged
That Bloomberg ever considered revisit- leaning against a run, and may announce him to run. As did Rupert Murdoch: This
ing his conclusion is a sign of just how off that decision soon, but by putting his name is Bloombergs last chance, he tweeted a few
the rails this election has gone. Since out there, hes joined Joe Biden as a pos- days before the Iowa caucuses. You never
December, about a half-dozen of the sible backup plan for center and center-left know until your hat is in the ring!
moguls closest political hands have been voters terrified by the prospect of a Trump While Bloomberg basked in the atten-
working in stealth out of the Beaux-Arts presidency. In the case of a black-swan event tion, he remained unmoved. What was
mansion on East 78th Street that serves as like, say, a Clinton indictmentTrump is occupying his time the most was putting
headquarters of Bloomberg Philanthro- already making the case that she shouldnt his stamp back on Bloomberg LP. When
pies to lay the groundwork for him to jump be allowed to runhe could still, poten- he left City Hall, Bloomberg told people
into the race. Bloombergs chief strategist, tially, step in. His allies are pushing him as he planned to become a philanthropist on
Doug Schoen, conducted polls showing a more viable alternative than Biden or a global scale, la Bill Gates. But he quickly
that voters feel record levels of disaffection John Kerry in that scenario. If Bloomberg discovered that philanthropy gave him
with both parties. Kevin Sheekey, Bloom- stepped in, those guys wouldnt run against little satisfaction. NGO people arent his
bergs longtime consigliere, made calls to him, says a friend. It may seem an unlikely people. He likes money and risk, not delib-
veteran Democratic and Republican strat- turn of events, but by now weve all become eration and incremental improvement,
egists, feeling out potential campaign electoral doomsday preppers, and Bloom- a former colleague says. And so, he went
staffers and strategizing over how they berg sees an opportunity to lead us out of the back to his old job.
could massage Bloombergs anti-gun bunker once the smoke clears. The company had changed in hisabsence.
stance for a proSecond Amendment elec- Under his handpicked CEO, Dan Doctoroff,
torate. Howard Wolfson, Bloombergs for- ike most of the professional it had started to act more like a traditional
mer communications director, crafted
a national media strategy. Bradley Tusk,
who managed the 2009 mayoral cam-
paign, consulted with ballot-access experts
about the herculean challenge of collecting
the 579,000 signatures required to get on
the ticket in all 50 states.
L political class, Bloomberg and his
advisers at first dismissed Trumps
candidacy as little more than
a stunt. I did not think he would
have the rise and staying power hes had,
says Schoen. As mayor and a fellow pluto-
crat, Bloomberg had a cordial, if distant,
media company, expanding into politi-
cal and lifestyle coverage. Employees say
Bloomberg seemed frustrated. In meetings,
he would talk over Doctoroff. Within weeks,
Doctoroff was out and Bloomberg took over
as CEO. Just remember whose name is on
the door, Bloomberg told a colleague.
Though many have dismissed the pros- relationship with the real-estate mogul In December 2014, Bloomberg replaced
pect of a Bloomberg run as pure fantasy turned reality-TV star. The two have played longtime Bloomberg News editor-in-chief
because of the challenging electoral math, in the same golf tournaments, and in 2011, Matthew Winkler with Economist editor
a source close to Bloomberg says their the Bloomberg administration made a deal John Micklethwait, who had a more busi-
research shows he would have a good with Trump to build a $10 million club- ness-friendly worldview. With 80 percent
chance in a Trump-versus-Sanders race, house and operate a public golf course in the of Bloomberg LPs revenues generated by
passing the 270 electoral votes mark by Bronx. There was no history of animosity, terminal sales mostly to financial firms,
winning in New York, New Jersey, Con- a former senior City Hall official says. Bloomberg instructed Micklethwait to

got our evidence that this have Mexico pay for it? Mexico must pay for the wall. do for the racists (short term) thing he could do on abortion
country doesnt care, and I Lowrey: My guess is that hed Hartmann: Wont he be is what youd expect: run the is the court.
dont know what happens next. get Congress to fund the wall humiliated when they say no? least politically correct Kilgore: If he fails to deliver
Traister: I agree. Because and build it. It would cost Browne: I feel like his response White House in memory. a sure vote to reverse Roe v.
while Gabe is right that his a fortune, but Republicans will be Oh yeah you will, Mex- Williams: What would a Wade on the court, he will be at
election would validate would feel like they couldnt say ico. Youll see. Trump presidency mean for war with the GOP and
a thuggishness, it would also no. It would do nothing and Levitz: I think he would blame women? He has shown relative the conservative movement
provoke a furious resistance. self-deportation actually would Congress for refusing to pass support for abortion. for his entire presidency.
Williams: What about his increase, on reasonable fears. his tariffs against Mexico. Traister: Yes, though now he Williams: How do you imagine
promise to build the wall and Cogan: But hes sworn that Kilgore: All he really needs to hates abortion. The biggest him negotiating with foreign

32 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
L E T Y O U R F A N TA S I E S
U N W I ND

Photo: Matt Crockett

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focus on the core product of busi- reform. He supports comprehensive and North Carolina within the next few
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ness news for businesspeople. This immigration reform and aggressive weeks to ensure hes on the ballot in those
also meant not alienating Wall Street. If efforts to curb climate change. On social delegate-rich states.
you are not intrigued by how people make issues, hes a progressive, for gay marriage
money, are inclined to sneer at those who and abortion rights. Hes considered riends and colleagues say
are good at it, or yearn to practice gotcha
journalism on investment bankers sim-
ply because theyve chosen to be bankers,
Bloomberg is probably the wrong place for
you, Micklethwait wrote in a staff memo.
Those who violated the new ethos
attracted Bloombergs ire. Last year, he con-
something of a hawk on the Middle East
(he supported Bush in 2004). He thinks
the Iran deal is a mess, a person close to
him says. He thinks were coddling them
and its probably one of the signal failures
of the White House.
There would be challenges, to be sure.
F Bloombergs political frustra-
tions are only intensifying his
desire to secure a third act to his
career. One person close to him
suggested he would be happy serving in
a Hillary Clinton administration, should
she win. I think shed offer him Treasury,
fronted Bloomberg View editor David Ship- Bloombergs unwavering defense of stop but he doesnt want Treasury. He wants
ley after Bloomberg received a call from his and frisk would be a liability in the age of Defense, the source says. Think about it.
friend John Paulson, the hedge-fund billion- Black Lives Matter protests. And having The Pentagon is a mess in need of innova-
aire, who was angry about a column. Mike made $40 billion selling financial data to tion and reform. And it would be a pseudo-
was furious, a Bloomberg journalist told banks, hes aligned with Wall Street in an era foreign-policy role for him. Bloombergs
me. He yelled, I dont like personal attacks in which bankers are the new bogeymen. lack of military experience surely makes
on people! This is not who we are! History hasnt been kind to New York may- this a stretch, but its another sign of his
Last spring, Trump wrote a scathing letter ors running for president (none has ever ambition at this late phase of his career.
complaining about coverage of him by made it), and Bloomberg is best known west (Another source close to Bloomberg says
Bloomberg Politics and had it hand-deliv- of the Hudson for his nanny-state policies. he has no interest in this.)
ered to Bloombergs Upper East Side town- Have you seen the size of the sodas they Mike is bored, says a friend, to which an
house. Afterward, said one high-level drink in the middle of the country? says adviser adds: He knows this is his last
Bloomberg source, Bloomberg let it be Kellyanne Conway, president of a proTed chance to do a final act in his career. Hes
known that he didnt want to see personal Cruz super-pac. 74 now. You cant do it when youre 77.
attacks on Trump in Bloomberg Views Still, one senses that its hard for Bloom- He cant seem to help himself from dip-
opinion columns. If you were putting Don- bergs advisersand even the man him- ping a toe into the national political waters.
ald Trump in your piece, you would get spe- selfto give up on the idea of a run. A pri- In a recent speech, Bloomberg talked about
cial scrutiny, the source says. Even a rela- vate poll they conducted in late February the problems facing the country: Wage
tively mild reference to P.T. Barnum was showed Trump rapidly losing support from stagnation at home; American retreat
cut. (A source at the company says that mainstream Republicans after being around the world; and a corrupt, grid-
Bloomberg View doesnt publish personal mocked by Rubio as a con man, retweeting locked, and broken two-party system that
attacks against anyone, but they have pub- a Mussolini quote, and refusing to immedi- answers to lobbyists and special interests
lished columns that were critical of him.) ately disavow the KKK. That did not go instead of the American people.
Bloombergs political reporters werent over well, an adviser says. It also showed The message is, says a top adviser,
allowed to write much about their bosss Bloomberg pulling far more votes from the drafting a stump speech that will likely
political ambitions either (which caused the GOP side than from the Democrats. never be given, youve got a guy who is
Washington news editor to quit in January). But GOP donors have explored funding one of Americas most successful busi-
This became more difficult as his political their own third-party candidate, and it nessmen who has a proven record in the
activities ramped up. A few weeks after would surely not be Bloomberg, given his public and private sectors creating thou-
Trump announced in November that he positions on gun control and abortion. sands of jobs someone whos worked
wanted to create a door-to-door deporta- Another Establishment Hail Mary would be with both parties never taken a dime
tion force, Bloomberg instructed advisers to to have Mitt Romney jump into the GOP of campaign contributions doesnt owe
conduct a poll to test the viability of a run. race in the New York and California prima- special interests anything an outsider
What they found encouraged him. There is ries to deny Trump the delegates necessary of the system who also knows how the
such anger towards that system that any- to clinch the nomination. Then, at a bro- system works. Thats a powerful message.
time theres an alternative its beating the kered convention, Romney could be named But Bloomberg may have to content
Establishment, says Schoen. If you run the partys standard-bearer. This outcome, himself with having already won in one
against both extremes and you run in the too, would leave little room for Bloomberg. respect: Hes back in the conversation. In
center, its competitive. Even if there were an imperfect-storm January, at the annual Alfalfa Club dinner
And they imagined Bloomberg as the scenario that created a third-party opportu- in Washington, D.C., people were coming
ultimate moderate. On domestic policy, nity for Bloomberg, it would have to happen up to him saying, Im so glad youre going
hes a proponent of deficit reduction via fast. According to his advisers, he would to run! a guest recalls. Bloomberg, the
reasonable tax increases and entitlement have to begin gathering signatures in Texas third-time almost-ran, beamed.

governments? Does Trump businessman, no? Why do we Traister: Wait, is this supposed tiny little country to boost his Williams: What would he find
actually have some extra believe that hes good at deals? to be reassuring about his ratings? Sure. Im thinking most surprising about being
dealmaking prowess that Sherman: No, he actually business acumen? a Grenada-type invasion, president?
could help America? pulled off some amazing Sherman: No. But as Panama, that kind of thing. Cogan: That he cant just
Chait: Zero. deals. At the depths of his a dealmaker, hes good. Levitz: I could see him turning demand things and get them
Lowrey: Theres rhetoric and bankruptcy, he was completely Williams: Does he get America a small snafu into a crisis exactly as he wants them.
theres action. My guess is broke. A friend with him dur- into crazy wars via bellicosity? through belligerent posturing. Williams: And how scared of
the rhetoric is banana-pants, ing those negotiations said hed Chait: Crazy wars, as in, Like if he were president when a Trump presidency are you?
and the action is nil. taken on so much debt that against a big country like Iran captured those sailors Lowrey: Excited and
Traister: He was a bad he forced the banks to blink. Russia? No. But invade some a couple of months ago. entertained and scared shitless.

34 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
MAKE
THE MOST
OUT OF

YOUR
SPACE
 giggler (he cant stop smiling) from Atlanta
(he says his voice coach in college beat his
accent out of him, though it comes back
when hes relaxed, drinking, or singing).
And what about the real-world candidates?
I cant stand all this Reagan shitthats
their savior? he asks. Marco Rubio scared
the shit out of me the other night, he says.
I never believed a word he said. I always
think its a script hes trying to remember,
and as an actor, I look at him and Im always
like, I dont believe you. But then the other
night, with his closing argument, when he
saidGodMarriage is between a man
and a woman, I thought: Oh, that guy is
scary as shit. He worries hes too political
on social media, but when someone asked
him on Twitter whom Stamper would
support this cycle, Kelly responded Im all
#Hillary2016.
Everyone in D.C. either needs a Stamper
or is a Stamper, Kelly says. Every year, some
114 min u tes w ith young staffer who has had a few too many
says: You know, I know a guy just like you.

Michael Kelly Maybe, maybe he hasnt killed someone.

Maybe. And Im like, Wow. But if hes a role
model to some young congressional staffer, I
Attending the unveiling of Frank Underwoods think its great. I think its awesome. If some-
presidential portrait. body wants to be a badass, I know he wont
by carl swanson be completely like Stamper.
House of Cards is mostly about back-
stabbing in the backroom; about insiders
n f e b r ua r y 2 2 , Andrea like being a member of the Rolling Stones and what they do and tell themselves to get

O Mitchell, Alan Greenspan, Val-

erie Jarrett, and other members
of the Washington, D.C., glitterati
gathered beneath the undulating
skylight of the National Portrait Gallery on
golden catering chairs to witness the unveil-
ing of an official portrait of President
almost. People went nuts. Chris Matthews
called across the room: Michael Kelly!
Aaaaaaaa! That famous noise he makes.
Later, I got to meet Obama, Kelly says.
Which was amazing. Were in the receiv-
ing line [at the dinner], and the president
saysand here Kelly does his Obama
there and stay there and get other people
out of their way. Its not a soapy conspiracist
thriller like Scandal, or a farce about keeping
face like Veep, either of which could probably
accommodate, say, a presidential candidate
getting in a fight with the pope or retweet-
ing Mussolini without jumping the shark.
Francis J. Underwood. As in the president voiceDont worry, Michelle, I heard hes No, House of Cards has sought to be more
on the binge-casted Netflix series House of not nearly as diabolical in real life. Kelly subtleliterary, evenwhich has meant,
Cards, which has just uncorked its fourth laughs with un-Stamper-ish delight. He strangely, that it has been lapped by real-
season (the occasion for the unveiling). The gets the show before everybody. Well, he world drama. This season, Underwood is
show has become Washingtons favorite did this year. I dont know if you remember running for reelection, and the year is 2016,
glamorously sinister dramatization of a story thislast season, he tweeted, Tomorrow: but that 2016 is not recognizable as our
people there tell themselves about its amoral @HouseofCards. No spoilers, please. So public cage match. It is sometimes said that
inner life and what it takes to make it to the this year, they sent it to him early. politics is the worlds second-oldest profes-
top. House of Cards focuses on the conniving House of Cards is based on a British series sion, Spacey said, speaking as Underwood,
Underwood (Kevin Spacey); his wife and in which the Stamper character dies early at the National Portrait Gallery. It is also
increasingly restless co-conspirator, Claire on. But thanks to Kellys adroit bloodless- said that it takes most if its rules from the
(Robin Wright); and, certainly by season ness, Stamper became indispensable to oldest profession. But thats not accurate. In
three, Doug Stamper, Underwoods emo- the series as his character strives to be to truth, politics itself is the worlds oldest pro-
tionally stunted, implacably loyal, blank- Underwood. If the show is supposed to be fession, and it has no rules at all, as this years
faced chief of staff, portrayed by Michael about the price paid for power, then Stamp- presidential contest is proving every single
Kelly as the perfect henchman: He not only ers comeuppance arrived in season three, day. Then he added the punch line: Im
knows where the bodies are buried but has when he was cast out of the inner circle so pleased that so many people will come
in fact buried at least one himself. after suffering a traumatic brain injury on through and see just how very well hung
I remember the first time we went to the a dark errand for his boss and allowed to I am. But the double entendre turned out
White House Correspondents Dinner, Kelly bloom into a complicated almost-human to be one entendre too many for satire. The
told me earlier in the day, when we met for character. Kellys performance earned him following week, the real-world Republican
lunch at the Old Ebbitt Grill, an oyster bar, an Emmy nomination. front-runner was reassuring voters there
established in 1856, across the street from I understand Doug, says Kelly, who was no problem with the size of his penis.
the White House. Someone said it was is himself a hugger (he hugs me) and a I guarantee.

36 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 Photograph by Drew Wiedemann

 52 DAYS AFTER SPINAL SURGERY.

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The Urbanist:
Uber
Around the
World
Riots, support groups, and psychic-energy vampires.

in the past year, Ubernow available in over 300

citieshas become as ubiquitous an American export
as McDonalds. There are fewer and fewer places
where you cant summon a driver with your thumb
and watch on your phone as he or she weaves through
twisty-turny cobblestoned streets or speeds down a
freeway to reach you. In formerly taxi-starved neigh-
borhoods, Ubers made going out at night a lot safer.
Its also created jobs and ostensibly cut down on
drunk driving. But as with most disruptions, thereve
been some less savory side effects: Pretty much every-
where Ubers landed, taxi drivers have immediately
felt the pain of diminished business (this has led to
protests and occasionally violent clashes). Meanwhile, Working for Uber
the Uber drivers have their own worries: In New York, commands respect.
their rates were unceremoniously dropped 15 percent Just not among college kids.
in January. Questions of vetting have also come up,
Uber Mumbai
particularly in the wake of a drivers killing spree in Taxi drivers in Mumbai are not
Michigan (though, as the company pointed out, hed treated with as much respect. Until
I L LU S T R AT I O N S B Y A DA M C R U F T

had no prior criminal record). With Uber seemingly the end of 2014, Uber was only
accepting credit cards; our custom-
everywhere, we decided to take our own extended ers were from elite backgrounds and
Hamid Shaikh
ride, checking in on a new UberMoto motorcycle ser- treated us well. But because of gov-
Maruti Suzuki Swift Dzire
ernment regulations, Uber started
vice in Bangkok and homespun competitors like accepting cash. After this, people
Southeast Asias Graband getting some driver rec- from all walks began to take it. One me in Hindi, saying, This fuck says
group of college kids got into my car he doesnt even have an aux cable. I
ommendations for Mexico City tacos. Something and demanded an aux wire. I said I stopped the car and asked them to
McDonalds cant provide. didnt have one. They began to abuse get off and mind their language.

38 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 Photograph by Dave Southwood

 Driving through
Bo-Kaap in Cape Town.

shaikhs lightning round A Female Drivers alone and there are people out
First Month there if I ever need anything
Favorite Mumbai celebrity:
Cricketer Sachin Tendulkar.
on the Road in the response is faster than
reaching out to Uber. The other
Not only is he a legend, but hes Cape Town day people wrote in telling us that
supposed to be really nice. Shes one of the Uber Cape Town cars were being impounded at the
Non-touristy tourist suggestion: growing number of women J&B Met horse races in
Everyone goes to Powai Lake, behind the wheel there. Kenilworth. One time, someone
but theres a dargah [Islamic
shrine] just behind it. You get a wrote in about getting locked in
stunning view of the Western Ghats. his trunk by a group of people who
It feels like youre in Kashmir. went for a joyride. And one person
Favorite neighborhood: I didnt tell anyone in my family Estelle Wilsnagh warned us about being contacted
Volkswagen Polo
Worliits very peaceful, when I started; I figured theyd try by a person going between Kalk
with trees all around and to talk me out of it. Ubers trying Bay and Stellenbosch, and that it
no honking cars. to recruit women driversthere I feel safe, and I tell them that I could be drug-related. Without
Favorite restaurant:
were three in my training session do. Mostly because Im part of this the group I might not be as
Bademiya,
for the chicken roll. of about 20 people. A lot of the WhatsApp group made up of cautious. Its almost like a family
people Ill pick up want to know if about 90 drivers. I feel like Im not within a family.

Reporting by Eliza Deckard, Nicholas Gilman, Jeffrey Hutton, Pankti Mehta Kadakia, Coco Khan, Sarah Khan, Justin Lancy, Jeremy Mercer, Katy Schneider, and Carolyn Wadey-Barron.
the urbanist My wife and I are loving Tenpin in Port Melbourne for
Southeast Asian food with amazing views over the
Uber Around the World oceanwhich is a rarity here. The larb will blow your
head off. Lee Wilson, Uber Melbourne

The Backseat Versus

the Barber Chair
The subtle differences, according to two Uber
drivers who cut hair on the side.
IN MELBOURNE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
My barber customers and my Uber Barber clients tend to open up
customers are exactly the same easier. But the type of guy that I am
except that I pick up a fair amount of mind you, Im also a motivational
sex workers. Therell often be a lot of speakerwhen I talk to my passen-
sniffing going on in the back, and gers, they almost always loosen up at
then I have to vacuum the backseat some point during the ride. Ive only
when they get out. Also, with my had about three or four people not
passengers, well talk more about want to talk. Ive driven a few people
traffic: Plans to build the East West who have actually broken down and
A January 2016 anti-Uber protest at Porte Maillot in Paris. Linka controversial freewayare cried to melike the man whose wife
falling through, and traffic in the past had died earlier that daywhich
six months has become terrible. doesnt happen at the barbershop.
Amid the Violence, LEE WILSON DANNY LYONS

a Paris Taxi Driver Defects to Uber

And to the south of France. THE LYFT OF JAKARTA IS GRAB.
MANY DRIVERS TOGGLE BETWEEN IT AND UBER.
when my colleagues in Paris heard I was going to work for Uber, they
couldnt believe it. They kept saying, Where is your heart? How can you aban-
don us? There was all that violence during the UberPop [a lower-cost option,
Ill focus a full week on Uber,
now banned in France, that employs nonprofessional drivers] protests over and then a full week on GrabCar.
the summer, and I was starting to see my days as a taxi driver coming to an
end. I didnt think I could stay in Paris and drive for UberI didnt want my GrabCar lets customers use cash,
friends to be my direct competition. So I headed south. Besides, think about
it: How would you rather spend your day? Stuck in traffic on the Priphrique
so youre getting more regular
for hours, or driving along the coast between Monaco and Marseille? I go
where the demand is. If my family and I want to take a vacation, I just take my
peopleeven kids use it. My
car and my phone. Mohamed Karfa GrabCar customers are more
karfas lightning round likely to talk. Uber customers just
Car: Mercedes C-Class. Favorite restaurant: Non-touristy tourist stare at their phones.
Football team:
Olympique de
La Frgate in Cannes.
You can get dinner
suggestion: Visit le
Lac de Saint-Cassien.
sutrisman

P H OTO G R A P H : T H O M A S S A M S O N / A F P / G E T T Y I M AG E S. I L LU S T R AT I O N S B Y A DA M C R U F T.
Marseille. there anytime between A magnificent lake.
Hobbies: Im a bit of a eight and midnight, So beautiful.
papa poule, and I like which is important What hed change
to walk by the sea with when you drive. The about France: [cocaine] and pissed [drunk].
my children. mussels are excellent. The tolls. In this particular instance, one
of the guys was being aggressive.
Im from the East End, Cockney,
so Im a West Ham man, but on
But the Taxi Tensions Run that evening I was wearing an
High on the Coast Too Argentinian football shirt, which
really stoked him up. Youre
According to a Marseille-based Uber driver. English! How can you wear
that! he was saying. I asked him
some colleagues have had their tires slashed. Others were assaulted. How to Talk Football if it was a Falklands thing. He
There is constant intimidation. Yesterday, I heard Uber drivers were hav- With a London said, Youre damn right! Any-
way, I just explained it was a
ing trouble at the airport. I know enough to stay away. The airport taxis are
a special case; they pay so much for their licenses, so theyre more quick to Uber Driver West Ham thing; Carlos Tevez
react with violence. You have to be smart: Dont go near the taxi stations, [an exWest Ham player] is
and if you see a taxi, never cut them off or look at them the wrong way. When I came into this indus- Argentinian. We sat outside his
When I first started driving, I went to Cannes during the film festival, and try, I was mainly working the houseI turned my Uber app off
one morning I was driving into the city and saw a group of taxis at an City [financial district] circuit. so Im not charging him any-
intersection blocking the road. They figured out I was with Uber, forced I picked up these guys who thingand had a good old chat
me to pull over, and a few taxis surrounded my car so I couldnt move. They worked in PR, and, you have to for half an hour. At the end he
said they werent going to let me go unless I agreed to leave Cannes. Did understand, PR people are shook my hand and said,
I go straight back to Marseille? I didnt. There were still people requesting always wining, dining, and Maybe I have been a bit blink-
rides. You have to remember, this is like a war: a war between the past and entertaining clients, so when ered. When I left him, he sent me
the future, and this war isnt going to end soon. Too many people have too I pick them up theyre normally a text saying, yknow, big love
much invested; too many people are ready to fight. Frdric Lesne off their heads on charlie and all that. Zu M.

40 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
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the urbanist Norms on La Cienega
is great for breakfast at 3 a.m.
Uber Around the World Or dinner anytime.
Brian H., Uber L.A.

The Three Types of Angelenos Youll

Meet in the Backseat
L.A. Uber driver Brian H. assesses his passengers.

UberMoto early adopters.

Introducing CRAZY LA CIENEGA GIRLS CHEAP EXECS PSYCHIC-ENERGY

UberMoto in Bangkok My busiest time is when the UberX drivers are basically VAMPIRES
I get bored easily. So the
On February 24, Uber launched bars start shutting down, working at Walmart wages
anywhere from 1:30 to 3 a.m. now. Ive hammered at [Uber] best part of the job is that its
its first-ever motorcycle-taxi service in the I just picked up four inebriat- to add tipping into the app. But never the same. Different
Thai capital. (Helmet included.) ed girls at a bar-restaurant on for now, I keep a sign in my car people. Driving different
La Cienega. One asked if that says tips, so people can places. Most people I drive
she could have my aux cord. tip in cash if they want. Youd are friendly, but I find that
my uncle is a motcya regular motorcycle-
On the way through the think I wouldve gotten one some sap my energy. I call
taxi driverand I used to drive in his place Valley, one of the girls was from this guy I picked up in the them psychic-energy vam-
whenever he couldnt work. Motcy drivers wear like, I gotta pee. They see Hollywood Hills. It was sup- pires. They dont even know
numbered orange vests and can only pick up in a KFC and say to go there. posed to be an UberPool, but theyre doing it, but Ill be
particular areas. Im an emcee and a country When they come back, one he said he needed to be at the driving them and I start to
of the girls, her hand is all Century Plaza hotel by 1 p.m., fall asleep. And then when
singer and mostly work at night, so I thought, bloody. She slipped in water, so could I get rid of the other they get to where theyre go-
Why not make money during the day while Im pulled the sink off the wall, it person we were supposed to ing and they get out all of
running errands? So far, Ive picked up six cracked and sliced her hand. pick up? So I canceled the sec- a sudden, Im okay.
people. I had a passenger that was going to a So I pull out the napkins; I got ond trip. I even got him to the
stashes everywhere. hotel early. He spent the entire
restaurant I like in Silom, and after having a
trip on the phone talking about
quick chat, I found out its the owners daughter. some million-dollar film deal.
You never know who youll meet! Im a lot more But no tip.
cautious when I have a female passenger
because they sit sidesaddle, so I have to be
aware of that while maneuvering in and out of THE MEXICO CITY TACOS THESE TWO DRIVERS
traffic. I dont talk much during these rides WOULD GO OUT OF THEIR WAY FOR.
because its hard to hear, and theres also too

P H OTO G R A P H : CO U R T E S Y O F U B E R M OTO. I L LU S T R AT I O N S B Y A DA M C R U F T.
much dust and pollution. Ive had cats run out The barbacoa, only available on
in the street and Ive been bitten by stray dogs a
bunch of times. Once I saw a really big snake on
weekends, from the meat vendor in the
the road. Netmongcolchai Woody Sriwara Mercado de Medelln in Roma.
carlos israel quintano salinas
How much an Uber ride costs from the The birria tacos at the stand near
airport to the center of town in
the Juanacatln Metro stationright on
marseille ............................................ $44 the corner. rubn montoyo ortega
jakarta ................................................ $7
cape town .............................................. $13
1. Stop the car a little before or beyond the address, to check if its
london (heathrow)........................ ... $57
los angeles .......................................... $37 Hug Your a trap. If I drive past the address, it gives me the chance to spot the
cops hiding out. 2. Never let your phone be visible and reduce its
mexico city ........................................... $9 Driver brightness to as low as possible. 3. Put the passenger in the
front seat. If they sit in the back and the police notice it, then the
bangkok .............................................. $17 If you dont want him to problems begin. 4. Avoid taxi stands, and street corners next to taxi
get caught by the police stands. The downtown, the Old Port, and the airport are the
melbourne ......................................... $96
in Montreal, where Uber most monitored areas and therefore also the most dangerous.
washington, d.c. (dulles)................. $52 is considered illegal. 5. Behave like the passenger is a friend. I am not embarrassed to
mumbai .................................................... $7 hug a customer if necessary. ISSAM O.

42 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
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 ANXIET Y and

ECSTASY
B R O A D W AY S G R E AT E S T V O I C E , BY Jesse Green
AUDRA McDONALD, PHOTOGRAPH BY
I S B A C K , B U T S H E C A N T S TO P
S AY I N G S H E S S O R R Y.
Norman Jean Roy

44 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
 T
needless self-criticism. (In the 45 minutes I spend at McDonalds
lesson, the word that most frequently passes her lips is sorry.)
Instead he says, Your voice is so healthy you dont need to protect
anything, which makes her look pained, as if hed said the oppo-
site. She is warm and obviously adores Levy but is dead certain she
hears things he doesnt. Im Judgy McJudgerson, she says.
Levy nods, undeterred: The audience and I love what were
hearing. Pretend you do too.
But pretending is another problem. At rehearsals for Shuffle
Along, the musical in which shes starring this spring, she barrages
the director, George C. Wolfe, with questions. Sorry, but where are
weliterally? she asks about the opening scene, which finds all
the main characters looking back on events of 1921 from some
unspecified future. Are we ghosts? No, real people, says Wolfe.
We were here, and now were back. She nods as if to say shell
think about that. Later Wolfe tells me that, unlike some perform-
ers, McDonald doesnt sequester her confusions or fears behind a
front of personality: Theres nothing shes protecting. When I ask
hrough heavy walls if that leaves anything she wont do onstage, he instantly says, in
and a warren of hallways, before Im even buzzed into the studio, I his two-syllable Kentucky drawl, Lie.
recognize Audra McDonalds voice. Shes just doing vocalise: sing-
ing scales on the syllables eh and oo, nine notes up and eight back WHEN I FIRST INTERVIEWED McDonald 17 years ago, it
down, then again a semitone higher, over and over, up through her had not been long, she said, since an African-American performer
range. But it might as well be Puccini. Even performing a rote exer- like herself found it almost impossible to get cast in Broadway roles

P R E V I O U S S P R E A D, S T Y L I N G B Y E M I LY M A Z U R ; H A I R B Y C H I O M A VA LCO U R T; M A K E U P B Y J I L L O S H RY. O P P O S I T E PAG E , P H OTO G R A P H B Y D E V I N A L B E R DA .

cise, shes an emotion machine. that were not specifically black. (And few were.) Since then, a lot has
Inside, her teacher of 20 years, Arthur Levy, is listening atten- changed, led in part by Disney musicals including The Lion King
tively, as still as an ornithologist. He stares at her, observing the and Aida, with their multiethnic ensembles. But something more
details of her breathing, which are obvious even through the chunky momentous seems to be happening right now in terms of diversity
oatmeal-colored shawl-sweater shes wearing this raw February on Broadway. McDonald points out that along one block of 45th
night. McDonald, who calls herself a tomboy, is in jeans and boots, Street this spring, joining the long-running Lion King, are not only
her hair piled high in two topiary balls. With her slight defensive Shuffle Along, which begins previews March 15, but also The Color
crouch and wide stance, she looks like a shot-putter about to let Purple, Eclipsed, and Hughie, with Hamilton and On Your Feet! one
something heavy fly. But she quails as she moves from her plangent block north. Some of these shows are merely color-blind: That For-
lower range into the stratosphere. Something feels stuck in the est Whitaker is playing ONeills lowlife Erie Smith in Hughie (or
middle, she says. Levy tells her to fling her arms up in the air, like that The Lion Kings pride is composed mostly of people of color)
the Flying Nun, as she reaches the fifth note of each scale. This looks cannot be seen as an exploration of black life except to the extent that
absurd, but when she does it, the studio, a 13-by-13 shoe box near the stories are universal. But Hamilton, flipping this point on its
Carnegie Hall, can hardly contain the result. The walls seem to flap. head, is the opposite of color-blindits colorizeddeliberately cast-
I expect Levys scented candles to gutter, the humidifier and space ing nonwhite performers as white Founding Fathers to pry history
heater to short. Its the most exciting thing Ive ever heard. open. The other shows are highly color-specific, addressing the expe-
Its not a thing, though. My voice isnt an instrument I can just rience of people not usually the subject of popular stage entertain-
hang up on a hook, McDonald tells me. Its attached to the woman, ment: abused African-American women, Cuban migrs, captive
and the woman seems anxious. She mentions her passaggio, the part Liberian wives, black stars of a bygone era. Even aside from stories,
of the range where the voice switches registers, and which, when it there is the matter of employment: The breakdown of jobs, onstage
starts to get potholes, can indicate damage from age or overuse. But and off, creative and technical, is clearly changing. In several visits
McDonald, who is 45, has been worrying about this at least since she to full-company rehearsals for Shuffle Along, the only white people
won her first Tony, for Carousel, at 23. Her passaggio is fine, Levy I noticed were Brooks Ashmanskas, who plays a clutch of smaller
tells her patiently. Its not even clear to a layperson that she has one: roles in the show; a press agent; and an assistant stage manager or
The sound she produces is unified throughout her three-octave two. And the producer.
range. The thrilling activity of the low notes doesnt thin out at the McDonald allows that the situation for black artists on Broadway
top; in fact, it blooms and intensifies. She is, Levy says, a full lyric has improved slightly, but what if the current season is a blip? Still,
soprano with enough power to fill an opera house, if not enough I cant help seeing the explosion of color as part of the energy feeding
desire. (She has turned down many a Mimi.) Vocalism, for her, is the a Golden Age redux in New York theater (see page 48). The most
tool, not (as so often in opera) the product; in any case, its a weird exciting new works (and rethinkings of old works) often involve a
tool. The inside of my left ear starts to itch when we go that high, folding toward the center of previously marginalized artists and sub-
she says apologetically, as if it were a sign of weakness. jects. And while not all of this energy has to do with race (gender,
The higher the better, Levy, a tenor himself, replies. Singing sexuality, and economic status are also in play), it seems to be the
that high, you deserve a lot of attention. There does not appear to leading edge. Of course, race was a prominent theme of the original
be any part of that sentence McDonald likes. Golden Age: Among musicals, The King and I, South Pacific, Porgy
It quickly becomes clear that the Flying Nun maneuver is mostly and Bess, and many more dealt with struggles of otherness, mostly
a diversion: a way of sneaking McDonald past herself. For the same as seen from a white perspective. The difference is that in the new
reason, Levy does not let her peek at the keyboard as hes cuing her Golden Age the stories are usually being told from the other side.
scales; theres no need for her to know that he has worked her up With her loyalty to the stage, and her six Tony Awards, McDonald
to a high D-flat. Her inner panel of examiners is a busy bunch, and has, over the 22 years since Carousel opened, been the inescapable
hes trying to starve it of information that could be converted into face of that change. This is partly because she is Broadways greatest

46 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
star singer, possibly everand I say that at a wonderful moment formers, survival becomes a kind of moral example: a chance, she
when the likes of Kelli OHara, Idina Menzel, and Kristin Che- says, to reach back through the door of opportunityshes quot-
noweth are also performing at the top of their respective forms. ing Michelle Obamaand help others through it. So that maybe
(Each of the four has a completely different kind of voice.) The com- a black girl who sees me can say: That lady with most-of-the-time-
bination of innate beauty, invisible technique, broad expressiveness, nappy-frizzy hair, whos not rail thin, she did it, thats a possibility.
and dogged staminaMcDonald recently completed a 13-month,
63-city concert tour on three continentsmeans that her voice func- THAT THE DOOR OF OPPORTUNITY swings in two direc-
tions as one with her acting; her singing makes emotion audible in tions is the starting point of the 2016 Shuffle Along, which more than
the same way a blush makes it visible. any show I can think of aims to reshape our perception of blackness
But her prominence as the face of a changing Broadway is also the on Broadway. The subtitle aloneThe Making of the Musical Sensa-
result of the way motherhoodher daughter, Zoe, is now 15has tion of 1921 and All That Followedsuggests the size and nature of
made her feel responsible to more than just her own artistry. What Wolfes metahistorical intentions. His libretto includes elements of
you use your voice for, other than tweets about gay marriage and the original Shuffle Along, especially the songs by Eubie Blake and
homeless kids and moronic politicians, is a new question she worries Noble Sissle, but largely replaces its lightweight story about a rigged
about. She took on Shuffle Along not only for the chance to work mayoral election in Jimtown, USA with a backstage look at that
with Wolfe (and a jaw-dropping assortment of other black stars, shows creation and a brief for its importance. As Lottie, the star of
including Brian Stokes Mitchell and Billy Porter) but to honor her the show within the show, McDonald flirts, sasses, plays comedy
cultural antecedents. Without dislodging Judy Garland and Barbra scenes, tosses off coloratura roulades, and even taps. In short, Lottie
Streisand from her girlhood pantheon, performers like Billie Holi- is no ones tragedienne except in the sense that time has entirely
day and Lena Horneand now, in Shuffle Along, Lottie Geehave erased her, as it nearly did Shuffle Along, despite its being the most
come to the fore, as much for their talent as their nerve. Accepting successful early Broadway musical with an all-black cast and cre-
her most recent Tony, for playing Holiday in Lady Day at Emersons ative team. Blake, who died in 1983 at age 100, is still somewhat
Bar & Grill, she saluted a list of black artists who deserved so much known from the 1978 Broadway revue Eubie! But the others, and
more than you were given when you their achievements, are forgotten.
were on this planet. Wolfe aims to show how they, and
What McDonald feels she herself by extension black artists in general,
deserves is a thornier matter. Cer- made Broadway what it is: Danc-
tainly not another Tony; winning so ing girls? All that shit you love? We
many in so many categoriesa did that. In that sense, Shuffle
probably unbreakable recordhas Along is a transitional work of revi-
been gratifying, of course, but also sionist history, an act of reclamation
overwhelming. Over dinner one disguised as a frolic.
evening, she tears up talking about It also represents a kind of pas-
it, as if she had gotten them fraudu- saggio in McDonalds career. She
lently. When I am in the pharmacy, grew up in a mostly white middle-
I dont say I am picking up my pre- class neighborhood of Fresno, Cali-
scription for six-time Tony Award fornia, with jazz, Broadway, classi-
winner Audra McDonald, she cal, and opera always playing. Both
exclaims. So vigilant is she about her parents families were musical;
not seeming grand or entitled that five aunts on her fathers side toured
you cant help wondering what as the gospel-singing McDonald Sis-
M c D O N A L D I N R E H E A R SA L S FO R S H U F F L E A LO N G .
phantoms shes boxing. She fills her ters. In that environment, she told
conversation with self-mockery, me in 1999, youd better sing well or
praise for others, and just-folks enthusiasms. Waiting for appetizers, you might get sent back. Her own taste favored the extreme and
she pulls from her purse a packet of Sweet Sriracha Uncured Bacon romantic, as befit her super-dramatic style: hyperactive, terrified
Jerky and begs me to try some. Youll see Jesus, she promises, then of thunder, kicking teachers, throwing tantrums. Her parents, who
reconsiders. Maybe thats not the most important thing to you. would divorce when she was 14, handled her as gently as they could
If she has disappointingly few starry affectationsshe hates (Here comes the circus, her father would say), but her anxieties
wearing gowns, consumes carbs in public, and, as Lonny Price, the were not easily tamped. When she cried that the world would come
director of Lady Day, often says, would rather chew a big bucket to an end some day, it was not enough comfort to say, as they did,
of glass than take a bowshe still gives a poor imitation of nor- Yes, but not just to you. She needed Ritalinor musical theater.
malcy. You can feel the effort of her constant self-management com- The McDonalds chose the latter, taking her at age 9 to audition
ing off her like heat; its as if, lacking much criticism from critics, (singing Edelweiss) at Roger Rockas Good Company Players, a
she must make up for it internally. I am strangely reminded, listen- local dinner theater. Performing in cabarets thereshe was cast at
ing to her, of the way people talk when taking responsibility for past first as an alternate in the junior troupewas a huge relief, even if
sins or working their way out of debt. In her case, though, the debt it further alienated her from the prevailing culture of her non-
isnt monetary, its emotional: Without theater, I dont think I theater peers, who were listening to the Go-Gos while she belted
would have thought I was a smart person or excelled at anything. Losing My Mind. But the theater was not a perfect haven:
She lets the sadness of this statement ride for a moment but then, Though Fresno in the 70s and 80s was fairly well integrated,
characteristically, wrings it into something else. Three nights ago, Roger Rockas was not. Neither she nor her younger sister, Alison,
I watched The Lady and Her Music on YouTube, she recalls. And could get cast, she says, in white shows like The Sound of Music,
even though Lena [Horne] was a sweaty mess, and Hollywood and their parents would not let them take the demeaning roles
didnt think she was pretty when she sang because her mouth was they were offered, like the one little dimwitted black girl in The
too big and she opened it too far, she was out there celebrating her- Miracle Worker. Raw talent won out; at 16, McDonald even played
self and demanding that you celebrate her too. In some gifted per- Evita there. But having screamed at her second-grade classmates

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 47
that they could never understand what it was like to be the only
black girl among them, she now, in high school, faced kids saying PORTFOLIO
she wasnt black enough. With her fancy voice and big dreams,

HOW LUCKY
they thought she was stuck up, an accusation she still works
assiduously, 30 years later, to disprove.
Not that those dreams were so outlandish. I just wanted to be
on Broadway, she says; chorus, understudy, swing, she didnt care.
Getting into Juilliard in 1988, even as a classical voice student,
seemed to bring her close to her goal, but it wasnt close enough.
Watching Patti LuPone give one of the greatest musical-comedy
WE ARE TO
performances of all time in the revival of Anything Goes then run-
ning, she wept and wept. Thats what shed meant to be doing, and
as she slogged on at Juilliard, the goal seemed even further away BE ALIVE
RIGHT NOW.
than it had in Fresno. She gained weight, ditched classes, and even-
tually, at age 20, attempted suicide, cutting her wrists.
McDonald talks about this matter-of-factly today, to keep it from
festering as a secret, but doesnt seem to see it as a determinative Hamilton lyric

moment. Still, its hard not to notice that the roles shes played on
Broadway since that Tony for bubbly Carrie Pipperidge add up to
N E W YO R K T H E AT E R I S , I M P R O B A B LY,
a dossier of extreme unhappiness. (And even her Carrie, she recalls
verbatim, was criticized as militantly charmless by this magazines TH R IVI N G . H ER E AR E S E VEN PER FO R MAN C ES
John Simonas if I were raising a black power fist.) In Master A N D 2 8 R E A S O N S T H AT S H O W W H Y.
Class (Tony No. 2), she was a shaky young soprano savaged by
Maria Callas. In each of her next two shows, she tried to kill one or Jesse Green

T
BY
more offspring, failing in Ragtime (No. 3) but succeeding in Marie
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
Christine (no Tony for that). After a brief vacation as the merely
exhausted Ruth Younger in A Raisin in the Sun (No. 4), she Norman Jean Roy
returned to form as two title drug addicts, first in Porgy and Bess
(No. 5) and then in Lady Day (No. 6).
Lady Day was the last word in McDonalds misery-mongering; he theater is dying. The theater is dead. Oh,
welding her own strength to Holidays fragility, both vocally and look, its reviving; no, its dead again. Its
emotionally, made for one of the greatest tragic performances I always been that wayyet suddenly, now it
have ever seen. (A version filmed before a live audience will air on isnt. For the first time since losing its connec-
HBO on March 12.) But she has also made a subspecialty in the tion to pop culture on one hand and the intel-
more delicate loss of bereaved Shakespearean women, playing lectual traditions of the stage on the other, New
Lady Percy in Henry IV and Olivia in Twelfth Night. Sometimes it York theater seems to be entering a Golden Ageor lets call
seems she has spent more of her career onstage crying than singing. it a Second Mini Sorta Golden Age With Caveats. Yes, most
(And thats not even counting the shelved production of night, commercial shows lose money, schlock and watery revivals
Mother, in which she was to star, opposite Oprah Winfrey, as a wait around every corner, and tickets cost too much. And yet,
daughter set on suicide.) On television, she has a less tragic profile, and yet: Theater is a force in New York as it was not even just
including four seasons as the best friend on Private Practice, but a few years ago. Leave aside the fact that Broadway alone took
even so, her most convincing small-screen appearances are notice- in $1.4 billion last season and is more financially stable than
ably dark. Singing Climb Evry Mountain as the Mother Abbess it has been for decades. Its the experience of theatergoing that
in the live Sound of Music in 2013, she seemed likely to swallow has changed most dramatically. We are no longer surprised
poor overmatched Carrie Underwood whole. On Jimmy Fallons to encounter an ambitious new play, richly imagined and
Tonight Show, she frequently shows up to croon the text of actual gorgeously executed, on Broadway, or a dozen just-as-good
Yahoo! Answers (Water is exactly 0 percent celery) in the manner new ones Off Broadway, or, OffOff, a ton of promise, possibly
of a lounge chanteuse who makes heartbreak out of anything. underfed and a little undisciplined but offering riveting new
It was partly for a break from this litany of sorrowful ladies that ideas about how we live. Even musicals, those lumbering
McDonald chose Shuffle Along, even though it meant a compli- dinosaurs, are once again glowing with purpose. The actors
cated rejiggering of schedules. (She will take a nine-week break you see on these pages have more than a little to do with it,
from the show to perform Lady Day in London, opening June 25.) every one delivering a performance of power and complexity
In roles like Bess and Billie, she says, tapping her forearm, I even- this season; on page 54, youll find 28 more reasons to declare
tually get to the point where I dont have any more veins. But in this age, at the very least, Mini Sorta Golden.
Shuffle Along, she doesnt shoot up, or kill anyone, or die; she gets Many trends in the culture had to coalesce to make this
to look as beautiful as she actually is. This doesnt mean that her happen. To name a familiar one, Glee snuck musical theater
Lottie is a purely comic creation. In McDonalds hands, a bouncy back into youth culture, disguised as a tortured-teen soap.
comedy song like Im Craving for That Kind of Love, in which But the two most important changes are about the demo-
Lottie teaches the new girl, Florence Mills, how to style her big graphics of artists and the taste of audiences. Just as the Jew-
number, turns into a mini-cabaret of mixed emotion. The comedy ish play did in the 1940s, and the gay play in the 80s, stories
comes from the fact that Florence is already a great singer; she about race especiallyand also gender, class, and other
would soon be a far bigger star. Thats the source of the pathos, too. knotty subjectsare emerging as an important engine of even
Lottie can feel history nibbling away at her. commercial theater. Still, no matter how good, those plays
So can McDonald. It hardly seems possible that she now has a wouldnt have any effect if audiences resisted their subject
second generation of fans, but Adrienne (Continued on page 56) matter. Instead, miraculously, theyre embracing it.

48 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
MAKEUP BY JOHN ALFRED FOR M.A.C COSMETICS. PHOTOGRAPHED AT THE NEW YORK MARRIOTT MARQUIS.

L I N - M A N U E L M I R A N DA AND J AV I E R M U O Z
If ever theres been a Broadway role too big for one actor, Alexander Hamilton is it: nearly three solid hours of rapping, dancing, and dueling. Miranda, who
obviously owns the job, cedes one performance a week to Muoz, and although they look similar, the two Alexanders make radically different impressions.
 MAC: COSTUME DESIGN BY MACHINE DAZZLE; MAKEUP BY ANASTASIA DURASOVA AT THE WALL GROUP USING M.A.C COSMETICS. ERIVO: MAKEUP BY JOANNA SIMKIN; HAIR BY CHARLES G. LAPOINTE; COSTUME DESIGN BY ANN HOULD-WARD.

TAY L O R M AC
His brilliant performances in works like Brechts Good Person of Szechwan and his own camp extravaganza The Lilys Revenge were just the warm-up. Then came
Hir, introducing Playwrights Horizons subscribers to his full-spectrum genderqueer vision. Next: A 24-Decade History of Popular Musicone hour per decade.
 C Y N T H I A E R I VO
Erivo, the English daughter of Nigerian immigrants, was a total unknown here until she opened as Celie in John Doyles stripped-down revival of
The Color Purple. She gives the kind of performancesuffering, awakening, and then roaring with lifethat can happen only in a musical.
 TIMOTHE CHALAMET

the most impressive debuts in years, burrowing deep into the space between insouciant angst and angsty insouciance.
As a prep-school misfit in John Patrick Shanleys Prodigal Son, the 20-year-old Chalamet came out of nowhere to make one of
CHALAMET: GROOMING BY KUMI CRAIG AT THE WALL GROUP; COSTUME DESIGN BY JENNIFER VON MAYRHAUSER; STYLING BY MARY MARGARET POWERS. WILLIAMS:
MAKEUP BY MATIN FOR TRACEY MATTINGLY; HAIR BY BRYCE SCARLETT; WARDROBE DRESSER: JACKIE GEHRT. DANIELS: GROOMING BY LYNDA EICHNER.
 J E F F DA N I E LS AND MICHELLE WILLIAMS
In Blackbird, David Harrowers 2005 drama about the aftermath of a disastrous (and illegal) affair, Daniels and Williamswho have worked on Broadway
stages beforeerase any lingering hint of celebrity carpetbagging. This is tooth-and-nail theater, with the talent and star power to make it sell.
 BU T IS T HIS R E A L LY

NEW GOLDEN AGE? T W E N T Y- E I G H T R E A S O N S I T I S .

(YO U ALR E ADY K N OW N O. 1 .)

1. 3.
few: Taylor Mac (Hir), work in the next year or so within, and John Doyle
Hamilton. As George But this is not just from all of them. puts more recent works like
Branden Jacobs-Jenkins
Washington sings, The about musicals. (An Octoroon), Lucas 10. The Color Purple on
elephant is in the room, so Stephen Karams The We have never seen
Hnath (The Christians), fabulous slimming diets.
lets get this out of the way: Humans might have been people move in so
Robert OHara (Booty- 13.
Lin-Manuel Miranda s an easy yes in London. But many ways onstage.
rainbow history lesson is the an American play that
candy), Amy Herzog And our non-best
only real-world megahit that depends so much on genre
(4000 Miles), Young Jean The age of the Jerome classic musicals
has felt like genuine theatri- mash-up and parallel story-
Lee (Straight White Men), Robbinslike star choreo- get important
cal art since A Chorus Line telling and fractured conver-
David Adjmi (Stunning), grapher has ended; instead, airings, too.
Tarell Alvin McCraney theatrical dance has widened Largely unconstrained by a
and, before that, the last sation? Its as unlikely to be its scope, putting all sorts of
(The Brother/Sister Plays), commercial imperative,

P H OTO G A P H S : H O U G H TO N M I F F L I N ( F U N H O M E ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F DAV I D Z I N N ( T H E H U M A N S S E T ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F A B C (C H E N O W E T H ) ; J OA N M A R C U S ( H A M I LTO N )

golden age. Partly, thats on Broadway as well, as other movement worlds in
owed to the music, which
Jordan Harrison those intrepid archive-
Fun Home is. Yet it made the play. Just a few who have
(Marjorie Prime), and Anne diggers at City Centers
bridges Broadway tradition transfer last month, not been on the boards lately:
Washburn (10 Out of 12). Encores! (and the summer
and hip-hop; the cast album because it has big stars (it Christopher Wheeldon
7. Encores! Off-Center series)
outsold most pop this year. doesnt just local greats like
Its defiantly unorthodox Reed Birney and Jayne Our mid-career (An American in Paris) from bring half-lost (and some-
casting also makes it Houdyshell) but because it masters lie in wait to ballet; Bill T. Jones (Fela!), times half-crazy) musicals
politically potent, creating a was too good not to. surprise us. Suzan-Lori Annie-B Parsons (Here back into the light, finally
Lies Love), and Hofesh solving the problem of
new generation of theater 4. Parks, Richard Nelson
Shechter (Fiddler on the
fans (many of whom could More American (whose Apple Family series is
Roof) from modern dance;
what to do with the infinite
never have been dragged to plays! Really, this is an an underacknowledged
Savion Glover (Shuffle
trunk of old Broadway
a Broadway show before) unusual moment when classic), Paula Vogel, Tony material thats not great but
Kushner (simply being Tony Along) from tap; Sergio contains greatness.
and the stars to go with younger playwrights offer-
Kushner every couple of Trujillo (On Your Feet!) 14.
them. Has it remade the ing good (and challenging)
years), Lynn Nottage, and from Latin dance; and Our divas do more.
musical? It didnt have to. work are getting big-time
Kenneth Lonergan (myste- Sonya Tayeh (The Wild Musicals have always had
It merely merely! productions. Lisa DAmour,
riously silent, but returning Party) from TV and movies. their fabulous female stars
exploited the full power that Danai Gurira, Will Eno, 11.
was already built in. and Ayad Akhtar, all of this month!) all remain in the Ethel Mermans and
their collective prime. Stagecraft. Mary Martins but were
2. whom might have had
8. The level of design we see
And Fun Home. downtown eminence
and hear is so high it
there ever so many who
Miranda is hardly the only stamped permanently on And the most were as versatile as todays?
important musical- almost seems to justify the Kelli OHaras clear white
one creating theater that their foreheads not long ago,
theater creator alive cost of putting it there. soprano swings from sunny
youd never expect to see in a saw their plays Detroit,
Broadway house. Jeanine Eclipsed, The Realistic is hard at work. At delicacy to inner toughness
Tesori and Lisa Krons Joneses, and Disgraced make 85, Stephen Sondheim as the role demands; Audra
lesbian coming-of-age splashes (if not prots) on says he has at least one more McDonald (see page 44)
musical, set partly in a Broadway. show in him a collabora- belts or operatizes or
funeral parlor and based on 5. tion with David Ives based channels Billie Holiday;
Alison Bechdels graphic- Especially The on two Buuel films and Idina Menzel regularly
novel-style memoir, Flick. Annie Baker s the Public says itll produce damages the roof of
continues to fill nearly all its Pulitzer winner found it whenever theyre done. whatever theater shes in, if
740 seats more than a year commercial success Off Likewise, the 88-year-old not her vocal cords; and
into its run. Ten years ago, it Broadway (when was the John Kander, rematched Patti LuPone can flirt or
probably would have been last time that happened?) (after the death of his long- terrify at will, sometimes
considered unproducible despite a three-hour time co-writer Fred Ebb) within the same few words.
V designfor
running time, pauses as long with 37-year-old Greg Pierce, the humans. 15.
outside a 99-seat black box
in Northampton. as some peoples naps, and a just keeps going. Their Kid The new golden
script whose only action Victory opens this fall. 12. age of TV is
sequence involves cleaning 9. Our best classic subsidizing the
spilled soda off the floor. The artistic offspring musicals keep new golden age
6. of those masters returning in fresher of theater.
Diverse younger have not been idle. ways than ever. Multiplatform carpet-
playwrights. Whatever Over the past decade or so, Broadway revivals used to baggers like Kristin
their own backgrounds, Adam Guettel and Scott be hackwork; few top Chenoweth, Sutton
members of the rising junior Frankel and Michael Korie directors wanted to stage Foster, Bernadette
class of theater writers are and Jason Robert Brown them. Thats all changed. Peters, and Laura Benanti,
more comfortable address- and Michael John LaChiusa Bartlett Sher continues to and Michael Cerveris,
ing race, gender, religion, have been reimagining find new meaning in Matthew Morrison, and
and the universal problems what a musical can be. Not seemingly overmined war- Jonathan Groff, sing their
of poor old humanity (like always successfully, but no horses like The King and I, hearts and guts out onstage,
V alison bechdel, poverty and old age) than matter; theyre stretching bringing out emotional go make a bunch of money
on the page. ever before. Consider just a the medium. Expect new depths many of us forgot lay doing something on NBC or

54 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
 immense care and 21. 23. tune for premium seating.
imagination. Most of the Star economics Mark Rylance. But there are also myriad
best big-ticket dramatic work. Lets face it: Celeb- On Broadway or in ways for the rest of us to get
works are put in the hands rities add excitement and Brooklyn, hes here, and cheap tickets: weekday last-
of either Joe Mantello, a help lift marginal boats. We great, almost every season. minute rush, deals from
master stager of compli- dont want them crowding papering services,
cated and/or hyperintense out the native species, but discounted tickets at TKTS.
drama like The Humans we dont want them to stop We know someone whos
and Blackbird, or Sam coming, either. Thanks to seen Hamilton three times
Gold, the not-so-secret flexible (i.e., premium) without paying a dime to a
V kristin chenoweth, weapon who keeps Annie pricing, producers have fig- broker. It can be done.
making bank. Bakers shattered dialogue ured out a formula for mak- 27.
moving. Ivo van Hove strips ing the system work, with And sometimes we
down Arthur Miller, 14-to-16-week limited pay nothing. You can get
Amazon or Netflix, then
Ingmar Bergman, and runs that stars can book to a lot of free theater in this city.
come back and perform for
David Bowie to their essen- fit between film shoots. The Last year there was Theater
New Yorkers again. V rylance, twice over.
16. tials. On the musical side, star power and brevity keep for One, a booth in which
Casey Nicholaw (Aladdin, the house at capacity, press 24. one actor performed a top-
Old ladies ! Lois Smith,
who has been acting on Something Rotten!) keeps is guaranteed, and the We are not always notch short play for one
Broadway since 1952, and delivering ebullient hits, whole thing can almost be in deadly earnest. attendee at a time. Theres
and Thomas Kail, whose counted upon to recoup. Now that writers are at last Shakespeare in the
most recently showed up
Hamilton staging manically Even China Doll. offering serious perspectives Park this summer, its The
sublimely in John and
avoids Masterpiece Theatre on gender, race, and eco- Taming of the Shrew and
Marjorie Prime, is having a
territory, can probably pick nomic status thats a good Troilus and Cressida. And
golden age of her own at 85,
any project he wants for the thing! a healthy bunch of theres Ham4Ham, the five-
and shes not the only one.
next ten years. Its nice that ironists, updaters, con- minute sidewalk show,
the ones who get all the densers, and verbatimists unique every time, that pre-
work happen to be so good. is keeping cheekiness alive cedes Wednesday and Satur-
19. with 57 varieties of meta- day evening performances
And women textuality. Elevator Repair of Hamilton at the Richard
directors have Rodgers. (Temporarily
P H OTO G R A P H S : J E R E M Y DA N I E L ( S M I T H ) ; S I M O N A N N A N D ( RY L A N C E ) ; R I C H A R D T E R M I N E ( N I C E F I S H ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F K I R S T E N E G E N E S ( T I C K E T )

Service reads books aloud

cracked the glass (Gatz); Bedlam condenses online-only, its scheduled to
proscenium. them (Sense & Sensibility). return live this spring.)
Directing has been mostly a The Civilians make plays out
boys club for so long that of real-life transcripts (My
we are only now beginning Parents Divorce). Composer
V lois smith, still at work.
to see a whole generation of Michael Friedman (Loves
women getting their hands Labours Lost) finds quirky
Women on television may on the best material. Not yet ways of setting existing text
die out like dinosaurs after the beneficiaries of equal to music; director Alex
40, but weve got Phylicia opportunity, they are Timbers (Bloody Bloody
Rashad, Linda Lavin, establishing themselves on Andrew Jackson) turns them
Judith Light, and even an equal artistic footing with into snarky fun.
Cicely Tyson showing up their male counterparts; the 25. V actual $45 ticket for
year in, year out. rest should follow. Were We are cultural a broadway show.
17. talking about women like locavores. Fresh 28.
The Producers. Rachel Chavkin, Anne material making its way up The internet is a
V selling stars.
Not the musical, which was Kauffman, Leigh Silverman, the culture chain has to come theater all its own.
fun enough but belonged to Lear deBessonet, Liesl from somewhere. In Ham4Ham became a phe-
a more moribund time, but Tommy, Rebecca Taichman. 22. particular, four Off Broadway nomenon because of Twitter,
actual creative producers. In 20. Our non-stars cost (and OffOff Broadway) and this entire Broadway
ten years at the Public, Movie stars a lot less and are institutions are proving to be moment owes something to
Oskar Eustis has brought are getting more brilliant. New perform- brilliant incubators of new social media. Forums like
an unlikely level of stellar ambitious. ers are stunningly well plays and voices. The Public All That Chat, Twitter
achievement to its perpetual Its no surprise that Oscar- trained sometimes too Theater aside, in the past feeds like @ Broadway-
chaos, and also agreed to put bait actors from Saoirse well, but there are worse few years Playwrights Black, websites like The
on some weird little rap Ronan to Carey Mulligan problems to have. Whether Horizons has had an envi- Interval, and everyones
show about a former to Jeff Daniels to Bradley its because college perform- able track record of terrific Facebook page are teeming
secretary of the Treasury. On Cooper make regular stops ing-arts programs are more new work (The Christians, with gossip and analysis.
the commercial side, Scott on New York stages, thorough than the appren- Marjorie Prime), as have Suddenly, every small-town
Rudin has a shockingly high seeking fresh challenges. ticeships that preceded Soho Rep (An Octoroon, drama-club geek can con-
batting average when it The pleasant discovery is them, or because competi- Blasted) and the nect with every other small-
comes to finding properties that quite a few are more tion is driving up the talent Roundabout Underground town drama-club geek and
at the sweet spot between than capable of holding a stakes, auditions these (Bad Jews, Sons of the dis a star who hasnt learned
highbrow brains and broad stage (Scarlett Johansson days are full of singers Prophet). And if the seats his lines or discuss who
accessibility, casting them in Arthur Miller!) and, in with three-octave ranges arent always comfortable, at should revive Hello, Dolly!
ingeniously, and then selling many cases, choose diffi- who are also loose-limbed least the tickets are cheap. (its Bette Midler) or how
them so well that they cult material that probably dancers and trained pianists 26. amazing the camerawork
almost always make money. makes their agents flinch at and passable Shakespeareans And when the tickets was in Grease: Live. The
18. the loss of income. How and putative jugglers. Spend cost an arm and a New York theater audience,
Directors who else to explain the excellent five minutes watching any leg, we know how to for the first time since the
really direct. outings of Jake Gyllenhaal ensemble of a Broadway pay merely an arm. Rodgers and Hammerstein
The great new plays were in Constellations, Keira musical, and you get the The business model thats era, reaches to Oklahoma
seeing dont always read that Knightley in Thrse sense that half of them could making Broadway profit- and beyond. And when that
way on the page; they have to Raquin, and Lupita blow away their predecessors able again depends on the- audience gets here, they
be brought to life with Nyongo in Eclipsed? from a generation ago. atergoers wholl pay a for- know just what to do. j.g.

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 55
(Continued from page 48) Warren, who plays Florence, tells me at 10 a.m. I should have sounded like cr-cr-cr-crap and instead my
that in her house, growing up, it was Mama, Jesus, and Audra. voice wasbut she wont give herself the compliment.
(Warren is 28.) Zoe, McDonalds daughter, recently said, Mommy, If today she handles her drama better, it can still take her a while
my social-studies teacher told me she saw you in Ragtime when to catch on to herself. Last April, just before a concert at Carnegie
she was 12. Isnt that neat? McDonald answered, No, that is not Hall, she threw her neck out while reaching for a jar of peanut
neat. Im going to lie down. butter or something. Her osteopath, reviewing her chart, noticed
that shed often presented the same symptom, always on the same
MCDONALD LIVES IN A SMALL semi-attached house in week of the year. Had anything significant happened around that
Inwood, at the very top of Manhattan, with her second husband, time? I said, I dont know, but then I remembered: It was the week
the actor Will Swenson, whom she married in 2012. They are my father died. On April 29, 2007, Stanley McDonald Jr., a retired
joined there at various times and on various schedules by Zoe, school superintendent and experienced aviator, was flying an
who spends half the week with her father, and by Swensons two experimental gyroplane north of Sacramento when it tilted, flipped
boys, Bridger and Sawyer, from his previous marriage. At their over, and plummeted to the ground. He was 62. The call came later
larger home in Westchester, they are also joined by McDonalds that day, on the street outside Studio 54, after the Sunday matinee
mother, Anna, a retired university administrator, who lives next of 110 in the Shade. She missed just three performances.
door. Swenson admits that he still sometimes thinks, when watch- I feel it every day. Of course. I am so sad hes not seeing Zoe grow
ing McDonald get the kids ready for school, Holy crap, I live with up, and Ihere she makes a noise not unlike a humming vocalise.
her! Rehearsing with her last summer for a production of A Moon I mmmmmmmmiss him! Ironically, he was the one who could
for the Misbegotten at the Williamstown Theatre Festival, he calm my fears about flying: He said, Turbulence doesnt hurt the
found himself flipping between awe at her stage prowess and the plane. But I know he would not want me to make it dark. He would
need, as her husband, to be supportive and cautious. kick my ass. Hed say, Then what was the point? He loved flying
She flips too. The anxiety I see whenever she rehearsesand his planes. He was doing what he loved. And so am I.
which Wolfe says isnt anxiety but intensity, baby!dissipates
quickly afterward. The routines of motherhood have stabilized IM HYPERVENTILATING, says Blake Devillier, a clothing
her, she says. In a car heading home from a taping in the Village, retailer from Dallas. Im having an out-of-body experience. He
she telephones Zoe, whose location she confirms with an app. Zoe has flown to New York to claim the grand prize for contributing
has just been cast as one of the sorority girls in a youth theater $2,250 to Covenant House as part of a Broadway Sleep-Out
production of Legally Blonde, but is also doing three other shows; fund-raising challenge McDonald supported. Lesser prizes include
McDonald gradually convinces her she should let at least one go. recognition as a cool person on McDonalds Facebook page ($50)
Shes a terrific little performer, McDonald says afterward, looking and a singing telegram from the site of the sleep-out itself
proud and a little afraid of the familiar intensity. But shes under ($1,000). As the top contributor, Devillier gets dessert with
no illusions that performing is glamorous. How could she be? McDonald at Sardis and then a private tour and a song at the orga-
Im enough of a fanboy to have hoped for a bit more glamour, a nizations West 41st Street facility. Ive heard you sing on Jimmy
tiara or a personal chef, but McDonald wears too much makeup Fallon, he burbles, and now Im having hot chocolate with you!
onstage to want to wear any in life. Anyway, shes too busy for much McDonald began working with Covenant House, the agency for
luxury. On this particular day, even with Zoe at her fathers, she will homeless youth, almost by accident. In 2014, looking for appropriate
have spent more than 12 hours working, moving from a long opening-night presents for Lady Day, she walked from Circle in the
rehearsal for Shuffle Along to the taping in the Village (for a docu- Square to the shelter to make a donation in her colleagues honor.
mentary about Terrence McNally, who wrote Master Class and Outside, she chatted with guards and was impressed to see them
Ragtime) to several hours of serious attention to whatever I ask her, leap into action to help a homeless girl just arriving. Later that year,
as if she were being graded. One thing I raise is a comment she she joined the board. But it wasnt really an accident, of course. Holi-
made during the McNally interview. The thing she loves in his day was a homeless girl, too, or nearly, who might have had a less
work, she said, is the way it suggests that within any person you tragic life had she ended up in a shelter instead of a brothel. And
might pass on the street, a whole opera, completely invisible to the McDonald certainly knew what it felt like to have required rescuing,
world, is occurring. What about her opera? if only from herself. The theater, which taught her how to make use
I used to think I needed to have drama at all times or I wouldnt of her exposed nerve endings, was her shelter. Perhaps it saved her
have the fuel for the performance, she answers. (Famously, she literally, too: When she got out of the hospital a month after her
fainted during her final audition for Carousel.) Now I know thats suicide attempt, Juilliard encouraged her to accept an offer for the
not true. That doesnt mean I dont feel it, but I recognize it when national tour of The Secret Garden before returning to finish her
I do, and put the brakes on. And if the performance isnt what it studies, which she did a year later. But for a while at least, instead of
might have been once, Ive learned not to judge myself as much. taking German-diction and ear-training classes, she was actually
Really? performing, which was all she ever wanted, or needed.
She makes a maybe face and laughs. I dont see myself as a At Covenant House, walking her guests through unglamorous
perfectionist. I mean, look at me! So if I cant hold that note the way rooms, she seems lighter than Ive seen her, as if an inner and outer
I used to after only six hours of sleep, so be it. I just try to keep the pressure were equalized. She hugs staff members and chats with the
truth in the storytelling. And when Im singing now Im also trying clients, asking them what they hope to do. Later, she will spend the
to reassure the audience: I got it, Im good. night in a sleeping bag, on a wafer of cardboard, under some scaf-
Now, dont let me fool you. There have been times, especially folding, not getting much rest while enjoying the rhythmic sound of
with Lady Day and flying everywhere, when Ive wondered, Oh trucks and the drumbeat of rain. But now, at the end of the tour, in
God, have I permanently damaged my voice? The doctor couldnt a small, empty classroom, she closes her eyes and sings a McGuire
find anything and Arthur couldnt hear anything, but I knew some- Sisters hit for Devillier: May you always be a dreamer/May your
thing was wrong. Finally a friend said: I think youve got some- wildest dream come true. The walls, lined with vocabulary words
thing stuck in your throat. Something you need to say. Which is and linear equations on cutout pieces of construction paper, start to
very New Age, I realize. But then when I did get something off my rattle, as if lifting off. She opens her eyes and smiles broadly, seeming
chest Id been needing to say, the next day I had a recording session to say: I got it, Im good. Turbulence doesnt hurt the plane.

56 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
 NBC-TV

T H E H I T B R O A D W AY M U S I C A L
G R E AT S E AT S N O W AVA I L A B L E
C A LL 866-870-2717 CLICK
VI S IT N e w A m s t e r d a m T h e a t r e , B r o a d w a y & 4 2 n d S t r e e t
Disney
!
op
p

58
A dermatologist finds
fame among those for
whom watching a pimple
explode recalls the
butterflies of a first kiss.
By Robert Moor
Photographs by Bobby Doherty
!
 made him a proposition. If he allowed her
to squeeze the blackheads from his nose
and film it, she would perform the
procedure for free. He agreed. To protect his
anonymity, she referred to him only as Mr.
Wilson, after his resemblance to Walter
Matthaus character in the film Dennis the
Menace. That videothe first installment of
what would become a seriesshows her
careful hands pressing a tiny metal loop,
called an extractor, into the surface of the
ars ago, Dr. Sandra Lee, a mans nose. With each stroke of the
tologist in Southern Califor- extractor, a long tendril of whitish-gray
sebum would burst forth. Sometimes
pened an Instagram account.
multiple strings would appear simultane-
ewed it as an experiment; the ously, like Parmesan cheese run through a
e of the internet was riddled rasp. So gross but I cant look away,
nseen pockets of desire, weird remarked one commenter. I thought I was
ranean pressures, and she was the only one who liked watching this!
wrote another. The video has since been
inclined to prod it, gingerly, until she viewed nearly 7 million times.
found out how deep they ran. Her
first posts were fairly scattershot, lees office is located in the town of
many uploaded from unsurprising Upland, California, an hour east of Los
Angeles, where the San Gabriel Mountains
places like the golf course or poolside, but she also made the somewhat rise like divine warts from the arid expanses
unusual professional decision to document her work on patients: slicing of chaparral and strip mall. At the latest
out cancers, lasering unwanted tattoos, mending earlobes torn by over- count, her YouTube account has amassed
zealous piercers. She became fascinated by why certain of her posts 850,000 subscribers and more than 350
million views. She has been invited to pop
were shared more than others. Her facewith its immaculate skin, blackheads and cysts on the syndicated day-
white-white teeth, little nose, and big eyes Me), Mtumes Juicy Fruit, and French time TV show The Doctors. And she has
naturally lent itself to selfies. However, Montanas Pop That. She soundtracked begun building a brand. Her office is strewn
many of her most popular posts were not one video to People Are Strange by the with merchandise emblazoned with the Dr.
about her, or her adorable kids, or her luxe Doors. In the caption, she wrote, People are Pimple Popper logo, which she sells online:
vacations, but of the least glamorous aspects strange. Strange because they like to watch mugs, trucker hats, coffee cups, and, of
of her work: specifically, videos of her pop- this stuff. But Ive realized you strange peo- course, extractors. The majority of her
ping zits, cysts, and blackheads. ple are not alonethere are many of you! income still comes from conventional
Lee, like most dermatologists, had never For videos longer than 15 seconds, Lee proceduresBotox, vein removal, skin-
spent much time removing blackheads and turned to YouTube, where she adopted the cancer surgerybut her YouTube channel
whiteheads. In her opinion, performing sobriquet Dr. Pimple Popper. Around the could easily bring in hundreds of thousands
extractionsa mundane, tedious, and same time, she discovered that there was of dollars this year.
nonessential procedure that was rarely cov- an entire sub-channel on Reddit dedicated One recent morning, Lee met with Mr.
ered by insurancewas labor better left for to enthusiasts of popping, or, as they often Wilson for another round of extractions. He
aestheticians. But a surprising number of her call themselves, popaholics. Back then, arrived dressed in a pale-green safari shirt
followers wrote that they fervently (if guiltily) the most famous producer of popping vid- and a Members Only jacket. A taciturn
enjoyed watching these simple dermal exor- eos was a doctor in New Delhi named man, he responded to most questions with
cisms. (I love it so much , Vikram Yadav, who was known for remov- grunts. He said that he had initially been
moaned a typical commenter.) Sensing an ing impossibly huge blackheads from the reluctant to come to a skin doctorit was
untapped audience, Lee began posting noses of his aging, sun-scorched patients. his wifes ideabut after the first procedure,
more videos of things popping from the The vast majority of popping videos, how- he admitted that his nose did feel cleaner.
skin, and her audience gradually grew. At ever, were still homemade. The popaholics, You were actually the start of all this,
first, she was wary of posting anything with a fastidious bunch, complained that these Lee remarked to him, as he lay supine on
too much ick factorgiant blackheads, videos were often unsanitary and poorly the operating chair. I dont know if thats
say, or explosive cystsfor fear that she filmed. Lee realized that she was uniquely something youre really proud of or not. But
would upset the gentle people of the inter- situated to provide these people with what I am. These days, some patients pay Lee for
net. However, her online fans didnt seem to they cravedshe had a never-ending sup- medical procedures and receive compli-
mind the ick; in fact, many of them relished ply of pimples and the expertise to remove mentary blackhead extractions if they let
it. Some fans reported that their mouths them cleanly. the extraction be filmed (and sign a release
inexplicably watered when they saw a par- One of the first films she posted to You- form). However, as a gesture of gratitude,
ticularly juicy pop; others claimed that they Tube was of an octogenarian man with Lee has never billed Mr. Wilson for any
found the videos so soothing that they used a swollen, misshapen nose (the result of a of her work treating his rhinophyma,
them as a sleep aid. Lee began setting videos condition called rhinophyma). As Lee was popping-related or not.
to punnily titled music, like Duke Ellingtons inspecting him, she noted that his nose Lee moved smoothly around her
Just Squeeze Me (But Please Dont Tease practically bristled with blackheads. She patient, making conversation and prepar-

60 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
 WELCOME TO OUR WORLD

As a naval aviator, test pilot and astronaut, Mark Kelly has been
recognized for his courage and determination. A true pioneer,
he appreciates the innovation, craftsmanship and utility of the
Exospace B55, the first Breitling connected chronograph. This
multifunction electronic instrument, powered by an exclusive
COSC chronometer-certified caliber, reinvents the connected
watch by dedicating it to the service of aviation professionals.
Performance, functionality, and reliability. Welcome to the world
of tomorrows technology. Welcome to our world.
ing the utensils of her craft. One of her almost none of Lees star patients have
many advantages over at-home poppers watched the videos of their extractions.
and aestheticians is that she is able to use Some simply dont care; others find them a
anesthetic and surgical tools, which allow bit gross. Many of her patients are over the
her to open pores that might otherwise age of 70. (Blackheads tend to intensify with
remain blocked. Patients (and online age, especially in sunny places like Upland.)
viewers) universally praise her calm and Mr. Wilson said he had never bothered to
friendly bedside manner, which she says watch his video. Neither had a kindly
she learned from her father, also a derma- 86-year-old man known only as Pops
tologist, who was known for playing the (4,945,366 views), beloved by popaholics
ukulele for his patients. (We have similar for his gentle personality and overactive
personalities, her father noted. But she sebaceous glands. A third patient, a sassy
has the advantage of being prettier.) 79-year-old lady named Gerry, known to
Anywhere Lee thought she might have to Lees fans for an enormous blackhead that
use her scalpel, she would first inject a was removed from her temple (6,927,531
squirt of anesthetic, a mixture of lidocaine views), seemed not to even understand
and epinephrine, which, in addition to what YouTube was. Gerry recounted the
numbing the area, constricted the flow of story of her extraction like this: She asked
blood. In the world of popping videos, me if she could take a picture, and she said
blood, the stuff of life, is regarded as a pol- DR. SANDRA LEE it went on this thing, and I got all these
lutant. Not only is it unsightly, but if a video things! And I said, What?!
is too bloody, someone on YouTube is likely Gerry was cheerfully bemused by the
to flag it as gore, and the video can be taken Lee lifted it up with the extractor and dan- whole experience; back in her day, she
down. So Lee was meticulous about sop- gled it a moment in front of the camera, noted, people wanted to look at beautiful
ping up any blood with gauze, and when she like a trophy fish. young people. Why would they want to see
spoke about blood on-camera, she tended You had a big one there just now! she an old lady with all these wrinkles? she
to use the word ooze instead. I really try to said to her patient-star. That one was wondered. I cant believe that. Why?
keep things nice and clean, she remarked. worth all of it.
Lee began on the right side of Mr. Wil- According to popping aficionados, the ecently, lee posted

R
sons nose, working her way down from the sense of suspense and surprise is part of a series of questions
bridge to the bulb. Any easy blackheads she what lends the videos their hypnotic power; on the sub-Reddit r/
popped out with the extractor; the more during a big pop, many viewers find them- popping to answer
deeply embedded ones received a delicate selves leaning in, holding their breath. Its precisely this question.
prick from the scalpel. Lee pressed hard and like gambling, Lee explained. You never One hundred and one
wiggled the extractor to pry loose the stub- know when youre going to hit a big one. people responded.
born ones, leaving behind a series of In the late 1990s, a Belgian artist named The respondents were
U-shaped welts. When asked to rate the Wim Delvoye released an experimental art men and women
pain on a scale of one to ten, he judged it a film called Sybille II, in which he captured (though considerably more of the latter
five. After a while, Lee remarked that she shots of whiteheads erupting in slow than the former) ranging in age from their
had been pushing so hard that her hand had motion on 75-mm. film, framed in extreme teens to their 80s, including one grand-
begun to cramp. close-up so that they resembled creatures mother, named Nana Shirley, who enlisted
Lees assistant Kristie hovered over Mr. in a Jacques Cousteau film. Delvoye her daughter-in-law to type out her
Wilsons face with an iPhone, filming each intended it to function as a commentary responses. One was a preschool teacher;
step of the procedure. On the iPhones about adolescence and purity, a puncturing another worked as a lawyer; a third was a
screen, the surface of his skin was trans- of arts lofty pretensions, but once it was priest. Some had suffered from severe acne
formed into an alien planet where sand- uploaded (without his knowledge) on You- in the past, others had never had a pimple.
worms periodically erupted forth from Tube, commenters began dubbing it prob- Many were ashamed and hid their obses-
porous red earth. Visually, it was more ably the best zit video out there!! and sion, but others were open and unabashed.
impressive onscreen than in real life pimple popping porn!!!! Delvoye said Quite a few described chasing their loved
larger, somehow. But the camera fails to recently that all of the films pimples had ones around the house, trying to pop their
capture the olfactory aspect of these extrac- come from a single source: a young art stu- zits. (One woman confessed that she had
tions. Later, in private, Lee likened the odor dent the other kids called Old Pizza. He once stopped mid-coitus to pop a pimple
of this one to pungent cheese. met with the boy for multiple sessions, on her boyfriends shoulder.)
When she was finished with the right waiting a month after each harvest for his What nearly all of them had in common
side of his nose, Lee moved around to the pimples to ripen again. Because the film was a sense that watching a good pop gave
left. There were noticeably fewer black- stock was expensive, each session became a them a feeling of deep, vicarious satisfaction.
heads than during his first extraction, and high-stakes game. You didnt know what They variously compared that sensation to
fewer spectacular eruptions. Lee seemed to was going to come out of the skin, Delvoye opening a sticky jar; unwrapping a present;
be growing slightly disappointed with the said. Sometimes you said, Oh, well, lets finishing a work of art; pulling up weeds;
overall yield, until she pressed down on a try this one, but its not going to be any- burping; farting; making it to the bathroom
rather inconspicuous-looking lump on the thingand it came, and it came, and it just in time; the TV show Hoarders; the but-
bridge of his nose and a several-inches-long came! We were constantly surprised. terflies you feel in your stomach when you
ribbon of sebum tapewormed out. It keeps Delvoye has since lost track of Old Pizza experience your first kiss; Sudoku; seeing a
going Lee said wonderingly. See, you and wasnt sure whether the boy had even real jerk get whats coming to him; a scary
never know. Once it had fully emerged, seen the final cut of the film. Likewise, movie (only not (Continued on page 153)

62 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
If you want it as bad
you do its time to do

Yup.

NEW YORK
64
MARCH
720, 2016
Death by
d as you say
o it today.

No more waiting.

Text
A teenager sent her depressed
boyfriend hundreds of messages
encouraging him to commit suicide.
Does that make her his killer?
By Marin Cogan
 Conrad Roys from the beach youve gotta go do it. Youre
ready. Youre determined. Its the best time

loved ones
to do it.
After Roy returned from the beach, he
worried about leaving his family behind: I
just dont know how to leave them, you

called him Coco.

know.
Say youre gonna go to the store or some-
thing, she said.
Like, I want them to know that I love
them, he said.
They know, she wrote. Thats one thing
His grandfather was Conrad Sr.; his father was Conrad Jr., Co for they definitely know. Youre overthinking.
short, so Coco was a good fit. He was thin but athletic, with brown hair I know Im over thinking. I have been
over thinking for a while now, he wrote
that was often covered by a Red Sox hat; in high school, he played base- back. And then, a bit later, he said:
ball and rowed crew. He grew up in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts, Leaving now.
a small coastal town 65 miles south of Boston, where his grandfather Okay. You can do this, she said.
owned a tugboat company. Roy followed in his grandfathers and fathers Okay, Im almost there, he wrote back.
He sent the message at 6:25 p.m., then
footsteps, earning his captains license in 2014. He was 18. As a teen- told his mother he was leaving the house to
ager, Roy struggled with extreme social anxiety and depression. When visit a friend and not to expect him home for
he was 17, he overdosed on acetaminophen and ended up in the hospi- dinner. He made a short drive to a remote
tal. He felt like he wasnt heard by professionals, his mother, Lynn, corner of the Fairhaven Kmart parking lot.
At 6:28 p.m., he called Carter and talked to
said. He went to a lot of therapists and counselors. A few years her for 43 minutes. At 7:12, she called him.
earlier, Roy had met a girl named Michelle Carter on vacation in Naples, The call lasted 47 minutes. During that con-
Florida. Carter, whose grandparents were friends with Roys great-aunt, versation, as the cab of the truck filled with
lived nearly an hour away in Plainville, Massachusetts. A year younger gas fumes, Roy decided to get out, Carter
later told a friend. In a message she probably
than Roy, Carter had long blonde hair and blue eyes framed by thick,
didnt expect to ever become public, she
dark lashes. Like Roy, she was athletic, and she was popular in school wrote: I fucken told him to get back in.
but she struggled with mental-health issues of her own. After the trip, The following day, police found Roys
Roy and Carter struck up a thoroughly modern teenage romance: tex- body in his truck at the Kmart parking lot, a
ting, telling each other their secrets, saying they loved each other, but combustion engine next to him. Roy was
dead from carbon-monoxide poisoning.
only meeting in person, as far as his family knows, a couple of times.
The relationship continued on and off for three years and in many thou- In the days after his death, police officers
sands of messages. It ended in 2014 with Roys suicide and an involun- gained access to Roys phone. They found all
tary-manslaughter charge against Carter for making him do it. his text-message threads erased except for
one: the texts with Carter. The officer lead-
oy spent Saturday, July 12, with I dont get it either, he wrote back. ing the investigation, Scott Gordon, scrolled

R his mother and two younger sis-

ters. He had graduated from
high school a month earlier with
I dont know.
Carter: So I guess you arent going to
do it then. All that for nothing. Im just
back through the thread. To his astonish-
ment, Carter appeared to have been not dis-
couraging Roys suicidal thoughts but egg-
a 3.88 grade-point average; he confused. Like you were so ready and ing them on.
had been accepted to Fitchburg State Uni- determined. How was your day? Roy asked in one of
versity but had decided not to go. His mom Roy: I am gonna eventually. I really dont the exchanges.
tried to get her son to talk as they walked know what Im waiting for but I have every- Carter: When are you doing it? :) My
along the beach with their dog that day, but, thing lined up. day was okay. How was yours?
she would later say, he seemed distracted by Carter: No youre not, Conrad. Last night Roy: Good.
his phone. He seemed like he wanted to sit was it. You kept pushing it off and you say Carter: Really?
in the car and text. youll do it, but you never do. Its always Roy: Yes.
Lynn would learn only later that the per- gonna be that way if you dont take action. Carter: Thats great. What did you do?
son on the other end of those messages was Youre just making it harder on yourself by Roy: Ended up going to work for a little
Carter. The conversation was about Roys pushing it off. You just have to do it. bit and then just looked stuff up.
plan to commit suicide. Later in the afternoon, he wrote her Carter: When are you gonna do it? Stop
At 4:19 that morning, Carter messaged again. ignoring the question. ????
him. You cant think about it. You just have Im determined, he said. Im ready. Carter and Roy discussed the methods by
to do it. You said you were gonna do it. Like Good because its time, babe, she wrote which he could commit suicide via carbon-
I dont get why you arent. back. You know that. When you get back monoxide poisoning. When Roy didnt

66 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
think his generator would work, she sug- latives, which were voted on after Roys his issues on her. On at least two occasions
gested other ways to obtain one. Do you death but before the charges hit the news. in the texts that are not included in the mes-
have any at work that you can go and get? She was always very bubbly, said one sages released by prosecutors, Cataldo said,
she said. Yeah, probably, ha ha, he texted friend, who remembered that Carter would Roy asked Carter to kill herself with him:
back. GO GET ONE, she wrote. crack up her classmates by asking questions He said, Lets do a Romeo and Juliet. He
They continued on like this for around in health class that she knew were silly and said Roy had previously discussed killing
a week. When Roy waffled or worried for his obvious. It was very genuine. She hadnt himself a year and a half earlier and that
family, she tried to calm him down. They had experience with drugs, alcohol, or sex Carter had encouraged him to seek help. It
will move on for you because they know when I knew her. She was kind of dense was only toward the very end, he says, that
thats what you would have wanted, she when it came to common sense but really she started encouraging him to do it.
wrote. They know you wouldnt want them smart with schoolshe tried hard. Michelle The full police report contains other mes-
to be sad and depressed and be angry and made everyone laugh all the timeeven her sagesnot included in news reportsthat
guilty. They know you want them to live laugh made people smile because it was this depict someone deeply convinced of the
their lives and be happy. So they will for you. booming, genuine sound. need to end his life. Sent from Carters email,
Youre right. You need to stop thinking about But it was also apparent to those who they contain messages she said Roy wrote to
this and just do it. knew her well that Carter was struggling her about why he wanted to commit suicide:
In February 2015, Carter was indicted on with some serious issues. I think she hid I see the world as a horrible place with a
charges of involuntary manslaughter by a her detrimental mental-health issues, one bunch of horrible people, one of the mes-
grand jury, which found sufficient evidence of her friends said. Her weight fluctuated sages began. Theres a shortage of good
that Carter caused Conrads death by wan- dramatically over short periods of time, for- genuine people like you and me who care
tonly and recklessly assisting him in poison- mer classmates remember, and she some- about other people and not all about them-
ing himself with carbon monoxide. The times made vague reference to treatment selves. I fear this world so much. I think its
state supreme court is expected to decide in shed received at McLean Hospital, the getting really out of hand, especially with all
May whether the case will go to trial. large psychiatric-treatment these shows and media ruining
Carter was indicted as a youthful center affiliated with Harvard what culture is supposed to be
offendera legal distinction that, unlike University. One classmate said like. I was born in the wrong
other juvenile-court proceedings, makes that before Roy died, she heard generation. I wish I was born in
portions of her court record available to the other classmates say that they the 1800s when everything was
public. In August, some of the text mes- were concerned that Carter easy, you worked hard and there
sages prosecutors included in a court filing might become suicidal. A lot of wasnt much distractions in the
hit the internet. The reaction was near- people started to worry about world I have an extreme
universal revulsion. Its now or never: her, the student said. I think desire to die because im a fuck
Texts reveal teens efforts to pressure boy- that there were definitely men- Conrad Roy up, because im shy. A bunch of
friend into suicide, blared a headline in the tal issues she was going reasons I could go on for hours
Washington Post. That girl is a monster, through, and she found com- about how I hate the world.
one woman wrote on a Facebook page that fort in the relationship with Theres nothing anyone can
posted news of Roys death. God I hope Conrad. Carters lawyer, do for me thats gonna make
she pays for her hand in his death!! wrote Joseph P. Cataldo, confirmed to me wanna live, its very bad to
another. The angelic Massachusetts teen me that Carter had been treated hear but I want you to know
Michelle Carter texted suicidal sweet- at McLean Hospital, but that, another message said.
nothings to her depressed 18 year old boy- declined to say more about it. Truthfully, I havent been
friend, wrote Radar Online. If Carters mental health is Michelle Carter happy with myself ever. You
She was portrayed as a teenage black pertinent to this case, though, it and my family are the only
widow, a classic sociopath, a manipula- is not the defense her attorney is usingat things that make me happy. But I have split
tive and craven attention-seeker. In its least not in public. What he argues is that personalities and I dont know who I am
piece, Radar Online called her one of the the messages released by the prosecution Theres something wrong with my head and
worst people of 2015. dont tell the whole story. He has released it needs to end.
only a few texts to support his version of the Few psychologists or psychiatrists
fter word of her indictment story, but he says the larger body of the mes- I spoke with were willing to discuss the case

A broke, Carters classmates at

King Philip Regional High
School werent sure what to
sages show a confused teenage girl strug- and what happened between Carter and
gling to help her severely depressed boy- Roy. Was she manipulating him in a ploy
friend. A few weeks before Roys death, he for sympathy? Frustrated by his repeated
think. They closed ranks, declin- said Carter wrote to Roy: I need to know talk of suicide? Afraid of being pushed to
ing to gossip about her in the press. A few that youre okay and that you arent gonna participate in a suicide pact? Did she think,
even confronted a local reporter for treating do anything. A few days later, she added, in some inexplicable way, that she was
her unfairly. Im sorry what Ive been doing isnt enough. doing the humane thing in encouraging
Before all of this happened, shed been a You know Im trying my absolute hardest. him to die? Its impossible to say for certain,
well-liked kid. In middle school, she was According to Cataldo, Roy wrote back, You maybe because her defense has not offered
the star athlete and had a lot of friends. She dont understand. I want to die! a deeper explanation for why she would
was so good at softball, one of her former She was, at the age of 16 and 17, delivered behave this way. Or maybe its because there
classmates remembered. Students invari- by Conrad Roy a very heavy burden for is nothing that could ever really explain it
ably described her as chatty, excitable, and someone in her position to have to bear, away. (Cataldo declined to make his client
outgoing; she was even chosen as the class Cataldo told me. They had a texting rela- or her family available for comment.
clown and the person most likely to tionship, an online relationship, where he The prosecution also declined to speak on
brighten your day in the senior-class super- laid out all of his skeletons, if you will, and the record.) (Continued on page 152)

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 67
Fifth Avenue & 50th Street
212.753.4000
 TH CUT
And
Just Like
That,
Balenciaga
Is Back
Talking to
DEMNA GVASALIA
about his rst collection
for one of fashions
most inuential brands.

By C AT H Y H O RY N

Photographs by Mark Borthwick m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 69

 t
U HE
T
T
C

hree years ago, Demna Gvasalia realized he was starting to hate his job. He was a designer at Louis
Vuitton, barely in his 30s, feeding the beast of perhaps the most profitable luxury brand in the world. Not
that Gvasalia, who grew up along the Black Sea in the former Soviet republic of Georgia, didnt count
himself lucky. He got to work with Marc Jacobs and then his successor, Nicolas Ghesquire, both creative
without bounds. And Gvasalia loved having access to amazingly skilled artisans. Thats why he got into
fashion in the first placehe was fascinated by how clothes were constructed. But he found himself ques-
tioning the whole structure of the business: The big-concept shows intended to reap publicity and sell
handbags. The clothes themselves he didnt personally care for or think that women would like either.
I started to ask myself, Why? And who is going to buy this? Gvasalia, now 34, says. I mean, the biggest
compliment for a designer is to see someone wear your clothes. And thats something I rarely saw.

P H OTO G R A P H S CO U R T E S Y O F B A L E N C I AG A . H A I R B Y G A RY G I L L F O R W E L L A P R O F E S S I O N A L S U S I N G S Y S T E M P R O F E S S I O N A L . M A K E U P B Y I N G E G R O G N A R D AT J E D R O OT U S I N G M . A . C CO S M E T I C S.
Several of his friends in the business shared his frustrations. We were all so negative, and thats when we
said, Why dont we do something for ourselves, on the weekends, to be happy? he explains. The result was
Vetements, a small Parisian label whose name means, simply, clothing in French.
The brand quickly attracted admirers for its sly take on everyday was so inimitable, and his clothes were so irresistible to women,

M O D E L S : C L I N E CO R B I N E A U, E L I Z A D O U G L A S, G W E N O L A AT F O R D PA R I S, L I E N E P O D I N A AT F U S I O N M O D E L S N YC , A N D M A R L A N D B AC K U S AT N E W YO R K M O D E L M A N AG E M E N T.
items like sweatshirts, jeans, bomber jackets, and blousy floral that Christian Dior called him the master of us all.
dresses that looked pinched from a small-town Salvation Army Guichot might have a point. Gvasalia is unusually committed to
and reworked with just the right amount of design and humor. the notion of wardrobe, an unromantic list of categoriestrench
A popular hooded sweatshirt from his spring collection that mim- coat, pea coat, car coat, and so on. Its a very singular approach,
ics the classic heather-gray Champion of the 1990s is equipped Gvasalia told me in New York. A parka is a parka. What do we do
with pockets on both the front and the back. The neckline is engi- with that parka for it to be Balenciaga in 2016? To my surprise
neered so that the hood flips to both sides, resulting in a sweatshirt and delight, quite a lot. When I saw a finished parka up close in the
that has no front or back. Its a complicated approach to such Paris studio, I was struck by the vaguely tentlike shape, much like
a basic garment, and the $700 price tag reflects that. But it sums the kinds of jackets that Balenciaga did around 1950. Its chin-
up his approach to design: Take something as common as a sweat- scraping collar was another Cristbal toucha flattering effect on
shirt and turn it into something desirable without losing its integ- most women. And the coat, in royal blue, could be worn half off the
rity as a practical garment. In the year since Vetements first show, shoulders, mimicking a grand stole. If you zip it closed, the back
in a Paris clubobserved by Kanye West, among othersthe stands away from the body. And because theres nylon in the cotton
number of stores selling the label has jumped to 130 from 85. fabric, you can crush and mold the parka as you like. The design is
Demna Gvasaliapronounced DEEM-nah vas-AH-liyah very clever, even elegant in its attitude. Across the back of the collar,
didnt stay indie for long. After just four collections of Vetements, in block letters, is stitched balenciagalike a skateboard brand.
he was hired last fall as the artistic director of Balenciaga, one of My intention is not to make clothes that are completely new,
the most celebrated names in fashion, synonymous with rigorous or to be in a museumas long as something is practical and some-
technique and architectural shapes. His appointment was some- body needs it in her wardrobe, then it makes sense to me, Gvasalia
thing of a surprise to the industry, yet it made a lot of sense. After said. Cristbal would have hardly disagreed. But in 2016, that
all, his path to Balenciaga began when he started asking the notion seems so basic as to be radical. Gvasalia is giving a solution
question Cristbal Balenciaga had wrestled with his entire life: to an industry racked by doubts that its brokenspewing out
What do women want to wear? products designed to look great on Instagram but that feel like old
Gvasalias was easily the most anticipated show of the Paris col- news by the time they hit the stores six months later.
lections, in part because of the buzz around Vetements and in part Gvasalia is serious but not grave, and he speaks rather hur-
because Balenciaga had set the bar for creative fashion for most of riedly (in five languages), his words broken by a dry laugh. Hes
the 15 years that Ghesquire was its creative director (he left in tall, pale, and gangly, with a scruff of beard. The elder son of
2012). Ironically, Ghesquire left Balenciaga for many of the same a Georgian father and a Russian mother, he and his family spent
reasons Gvasalia started Vetementsincluding a feeling that the five or six years on the move during his countrys civil war. They
strongest work from the runway would never see the light of day in hid in cellars from bombs and rockets. Gvasalia says that, in a
stores. Under his successor, Alexander Wang, the companywith perverse way, those moments were fun because the family was all
estimated annual revenues of $390 millioncontinued to grow, together, talking and playing games. As a teenager in the Geor-
according to president and CEO Isabelle Guichot, but it put less gian capital of Tbilisi, Gvasalia remembers, he spent a lot of time
focus on ready-to-wear. Last fall, Wang rather quietly stepped down in the streets, trying to avoid getting beaten up by various gangs
and returned to New York to focus on growing his own brand. while absorbing a sudden influx of the subcultural influences that
Now Gvasalia seems ready to return the house to its former posi- made it to Georgia, like goth and raves.
tion as a fashion front-runner while also getting his clothes off the By 15, he knew he wanted to be in fashion, though not because
catwalk and onto real humans. As Guichot told me, Balenciaga has he viewed it as an artistic outlet. He had little access in Georgia to
always been a directional brand with ready-to-wear, and this is fashion magazines or books. He just liked how regular clothes were
where we belong. Its as simple as that I think Demna really cut and sewn. Tellingly, the first designer he discovered on his own
embraces that philosophy. Thats the way he thinks and creates. was Helmut Lang, who favored classic tailoring with an idiosyn-
Guichot first met Gvasalia around the time that he and his cratic fit. (He was also one of the first designers to put nonprofes-
friends were starting Vetements. It was a casual encounter, but it sional models in his shows, which Gvasalia does as well.)
left a strong impression, she said. Its very rare that I have this kind When he was 20, he joined his parents in Dsseldorf, where
of moment where I think, I hope I can work with this guy. He was his father worked importing mineral water and caviar. Demna
so different in his approach. Indeed, Guichot sees similarities enrolled in the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Antwerp, the
between Gvasalia and Cristbal Balenciagaa comparison that school that produced the first wave of Belgian designers in the
might be regarded as delusional, given that Balenciagas approach 80s. He had little understanding of high fashion, but he went to

70 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 71
work for the Belgian conceptual brand Maison Margiela, where
he spent three and a half years before joining Vuitton. Indeed,
Gvasalia acknowledges that the Margiela influencethe wit and
surprise of conventional shapes blown up huge or re-created in
a novel wayis stamped on Vetements.
Today, Gvasalia lives in Pariss Ninth Arrondissement, on the
Right Bank, a popular, diverse neighborhood filled with barber
shops, cafs, and cheap clothing stores, like the thrift chain
Guerrisol, where most items sell for 2. He likes to go there. For
me, observing people in the street is very important, he says. In
Paris, you have a lot of characters. And those people who might
inspire me, I dont see many of them on the Left Bank, where
Balenciagas offices are located. It seems obvious, but, as Gvasalia
notes, fashion people are not the best sources of inspiration,
because theyre already dressed in fashion. Media exposure tends
to rob even the most interesting runway garments of their singular-
ity. So Gvasalia likes to see people who are inventive out of necessity
and, more crucially, lack fashion self-consciousness.
He often goes to the Guerrisol near the Barbes Mtro stop:
I see the people trying things. They make looks. I find this really
fascinating. After seven years in Paris, and nearly 15 in western
Europe, he is hardly an outsider, but that thinking nonetheless
subtly informs his approach to fashion.
At the Balenciaga studio in Paris, Gvasalia says he would use
the same design method here as he does at Vetements, because
Im the same person, but the products would be completely dif-
ferent. Vetements has no historical frame. But at Balenciaga,
I need to consider the past, take out certain elements, and then
apply my methods to it.
About 60 percent of his collection is outerwear. Gvasalia likes
urban-friendly styles (Vetements is loaded with them) and he
noted the number of tailored garments in the Balenciaga archive.
Perhaps the signature piece in the collection is a brown leather
trench coat with a built-in slouchthe shape was inspired by
photos of children aping couture posesthat embodies Gvasa-
lias quirky way of mashing up high and low. You could see how
the shoulder, in profile, was nudged slightly forward and the
sleeve was cut on a bit of a curve. When a model put on the
trench, the shape didnt impel her into a slouch, although if she
naturally stood that way, it became more extreme.
A man who loved perfection, Cristbal Balenciaga surely would
not have understood the point of giving women bad posture. But
then, probably, the whole notion of postmodernism, with its mix
of past and present, high and low, ugly and pretty, probably would
have escaped him. Gvasalia had the model put on a black wool coat
based on a 1952 design, with two pouches of fabric raised near the
hips. Its very Balenciaga, he says of the shape, although the idea
was to find a modern-day version, so that it does not look like its
from the archive but speaks to a woman in 2016.
Gvasalia is using Balenciagas tailoring, architectural shapes, and
ideas about volume and gravity, but his designs are more accessible
to a wider range of body types and ages than Ghesquires were. That
is certainly a reflection of more democratic times, but its more of
a reflection of his commitment to seeing his clothes worn. Most
women are not a size 0, and they like to move freely.
Before I left, Gvasalia showed me one or two more things. But
my mind still lingers on that cropped royal-blue parka, with its
ability to strike both a street attitude and a refined pose. It seems
a shame, I told him, not to make that parka every season, make
it a classic, permanently available in the stores.
Gvasalia nodded. For me, everything you see here, theres
no distinction between commercial and show collections. To
evolve you need to question things, he said. Otherwise, they
just dont move.

72 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
As long as something is practical and somebody needs
it in her wardrobe, then it makes sense to me.

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 73
 STRATEGIST

BEST
OF
NEW
YORK
76
E ATING
84
SHOPPING
90
FUN
in a fortnight that saw St. Marks 96 and VHS stores, most of which are new,
Bookshop, 69 Bayard, and Patricia Field HOME some of which have remained industry
close, heres a moment to appreciate the & HELP secrets (until now). We also threw new-
spectacular shops and restaurants that ness and secretiveness to the wind and
continue to open in this town: our annual 10 0 anointed the absolute best (period) hot dogs,
Best of New York roundup, a subjective list HEA LTH egg sandwiches, and more, on page 82
of singular spaghetti joints, bike-repair shops, & SELF a ranking that will surely evolve at nymag.com.

Photograph by Bobby Doherty 75

 BEST OF NEW YORK

EATING bespoke salsa, a singular cheese course,

and uncommon cookies.

of matzo-ball soup? Correction: for sweetness, a quirky complement shadow of the cheesesteak is a mys-
Takeout Make that masa ball soup. It
comes in a tiny cup with a feather-
to the dish-defining acidity. tery. Its the equivalent of what it
would be like if New York were better
SPAGHE T TI INCIDEN T light, half-inch ball of corn-flour known for calzoni and garlic knots
231 Eldridge St., nr. E. Houston St.
dough. The broth, which also serves than pizza. High Street on Hudsons
646-896-1446
as the base for some of the kitchens Fritters souped-up version of this undersung
sauces, is made from 90 hens, 30 at LILI A sandwich (heritage-breed pork
How do you eat spaghetti while a time in a 50-gallon steam-jacketed 567 Union St., at N. 10th St., shoulder, sharp provolone, anchovy-
ambling along city streets? Chef kettle over the course of three days. Williamsburg; 718-576-3095 enhanced broccoli rabe fermented
Emanuele Attala has come up with One gulp is all it takes to finish it off, like kimchee, fantastic house-baked
an elegant solution to a problem we but its the richest, purest, most sesame-seeded semolina) proves the
When you think of Italian fritters, or
didnt even know existed. Inspired soulful gulp of soup youve ever had. point. True, its about half the weight
frittelle, you think of grated zucchini
by old photos of Italian beachgoers and size of standard-bearer Johns
dipped in batter and deep-fried. Or
tucking into unspecified foodstuffs Roast Pork in Philadelphia, but its
maybe you think of the tiny new-
rolled up in butchers paper, he also an interpretation that wont leave
born fish Sicilians call neonate or
devised the spaghetti cone. Now all
his variously sauced spaghetti and
Ceviche bianchetti. But Missy Robbinss you vowing to go vegan the next day.

bucatini is available to go via that LL A M A INN cacio e pepe frittelle are something
50 Withers St., at Meeker Ave., else: airy, creamy puffs of choux pas-
format. And the extraordinary thing Williamsburg; 718-387-3434 try amped up with Asiago, Pecorino
is that in many ways eating spa-
ghetti from a paper cone is not only
Romano, and black pepper, fried to Cheese Course
more fun, but neater and more effi- As any Peruvian-food fan knows, order, then rolled in more pepper REBELLE
ceviche rises or falls on the strength and Pecorino the way doughnuts are 218 Bowery, nr. Prince St.
cient than eating it from a plate or
of its leche de tigre, that citrus-sour, dipped in sugar and cinnamon. 917-639-3880
a bowl. Hot dogs, meat skewers, and
chile-spiked liquid in which the raw They come three to an order in
pizza slices pale in comparison.
fish cooks. Peruvian-American a ceramic bowl, go way too fast, and Picture your dream cheese course,
chef Erik Ramirez is sufficiently taste like some kind of Franco-Ital- curated from a cart groaning with
versed in the technique and lore of ian super-gougre. wheels and wedges in oozy states
Matzo-Ball Soup the ancient preparation to take
certain libertiesnamely, replacing
of ripeness. Rebelles isnt that. I
wanted the choice to be simple, says
DEL P O ST O
85 Tenth Ave., at 16th St.
212-497-8090
the traditional fish stock with dashi,
which adds a smokiness that he Sandwich chef Daniel Eddy. Cheeseyes or
no? And so he offers only Comt,
feels pairs well with bananas, HIGH ST REE T ON HUD S ON Frances answer to Swiss Gruyre.
especially plantains: While classic 637 Hudson St., at Horatio St. But this Comt spends 18 months in
917-388-3944
As far as we know, Mario Batali kitchens garnish their bowls with the tunnel-cave of affineur Herv
hasnt turned Del Posto into a deli- roasted corn and sweet potato, Mons, where its rind is washed in vin
catessen. So why is the waiter pre- Ramirez adds plantain chips for Why Phillys No. 2 hoagie, the roast jaune and its paste achieves an
senting you with an amuse-bouche crunch and fried ripe plantains pork with provolone, lives in the incomparably sweet, nutty flavor.

76 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 Photograph by Bobby Doherty

Spaghetti
Incidents
cones to go.
 BEST OF NEW YORK
Eddy serves it shaved into medium- for breakfast in Lebanon, but hes
thin, curling ribbons you can eat with happy to serve them to New Yorkers
your handssilverware optional, as for lunch, dinner, or anytime the
is the She Wolf Bakery sourdough craving strikes. Each disk of dough is
and Ploughgate Creamery butter. baked to order, then either sprinkled
with zaatar, dotted with cheese,
or spread with a paste of ground
beef, onions, and tomatoes. The
Bacon best, though, is the least traditional:
a tender-crisp zaatar flatbread
QUA LIT Y E AT S
19 Greenwich Ave., nr. 10th St.
topped with tomato, cucumber,
212-337-9988 olives, avocado, and mint, then
rolled up like an herb-scented
health-food wrap sandwich, a por-
Michael Stillman has made it his mis- table bite of California via Beirut.
sion to reinvent the stale old totems
of the steakhouse experience for a
new generation of beefeaters, and at
this trendy West Village restaurant he
gets up to all sorts of mischief (scal-
Chinese Barbecue Quality Eats bacon.
L A C HINE
loped sunchokes, anyone?). Instead 540 Lexington Ave., nr. 49th St.
of the usual preheated nitrate bomb 212-872-4913 chipped, oatmeal-raisined same-
(yes, we mean you, Peter Luger), the ness on display at so many bakery
bacon in this addictive appetizer is
a slab of sizzled Neuskes from Wis- Any card-carrying pork fiend will Cookies counters around town.
tell you its difficult to improve on A R C HE ST R AT US
consin. Its addictiveness is enhanced
the classic Cantonese barbecued BO OK S A ND F O OD S
by jalapeo jelly and a radical dollop
char siu recipe, but this nouveau 160 Huron St., nr. Manhattan Ave.,
of peanut butter (crunchy, of course).
Take one bite, and we guarantee millionaires version (it costs $30) Greenpoint; 718-349-7711 Baked Potato
youll never see steakhouse bacon (or served at the ambitious new multi- M EK ELBUR GS
peanut butter) the same way again. regional Chinese restaurant in the Distinctive in flavor and limited 293 Grand Ave., nr. Clifton Pl.,
Waldorf Astoria comes close. The in supply, the Italian cookies youll Clinton Hill; 718-399-2337
Singaporean chef, Kong Khai Meng, find in the back of this food-themed
uses strips of Berkshire pork collar, Brooklyn bookstore are the passion Remember back when stuffed baked
Flatbread which he roasts slow and low to
a soft, gelatinous tenderness. But
project of amateur baker and pro-
fessional bookseller Paige Lipari.
potatoes seemed like a viable fast-
food concept? Well, that day might
M A NOUSHEH the key is the crunchy, lacquered They might be familiar in appear- come again, if the spuds in question
193 Bleecker St., nr. Macdougal St. crackle, which comes courtesy of ance (the S cookie, the rainbow, the
347-971-5778
are accoutred as smartly as the ones
the bees from the Park Avenue Florentine), but with ingredients served in the back-room beer bar of
hotels rooftop apiary and makes like jasmine, cardamom, and this Clinton Hill gourmet grocery.
Ziyad Hermez named his bakery each bite taste like some ethereal homemade almond paste, theyre Although the black-cod-and-caviar
after the flatbreads typically eaten form of trenchermans candy. an antidote to the chocolate- variety has a certain swanky appeal,
were partial to the not-so-basic
bacon and cheese: a substantial rus-
Lupulos salt-cod casserole.
set liberally massaged with olive oil

P H OTO G R A P H S : A N N A W E B B E R ( LU P U LO) ; CO U R T E S Y O F T H E V E N D O R (Q U A L I T Y E AT S )
and salt, impregnated with a melting
cache of Raclette-style cheese from
Vermonts Spring Brook Farm, lav-
ished with sour cream, and crowned
with a cube of braised double-
smoked bacon.

Salsa
EM PELL N C O CINA
105 First Ave., nr. 6th St.
212-780-0999

Last spring, Alex Stupak installed

a four-seat counter in Empelln
Cocina where he and his team host
multicourse tasting menus. Halfway
through the meal, the chef asks din-
ers to select salsa ingredients,
choose-your-own-adventure style:
raw or roasted garlic (The most
divisive of all the choices, Stupak
advises. Ive seen couples almost
get divorced); several different
chiles; raw or toasted onion; and
finally raw or roasted tomato and

78 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
STRICTLY LIMITED ENGAGEMENT!
FULLY COMMITTED SERVES UP ALL THE SPLENDORS AND MISERIES
OF RESTAURANT LIFE PREPARED TO A FARE-THEE-WELL.
NEW YORK MAGAZINE

JESSE TYLER FERGUSON

BY DIRECTED BY
BECKY MODE JASON MOORE

PHOTO BY MATTHIAS CLAMER. ILLUSTRATIONS BY SERGE BLOCH.

BROADWAY PREVIEWS BEGIN APRIL 1 15 WEEKS ONLY

LYCEUM THEATRE, 149 WEST 45TH STREET FULLYBROADWAY.COM
 BEST OF NEW YORK
Tastes Like...
tomatillo. Then, watch as your is no exception. But what separates The citys best new chicken dishes.
bespoke salsa is used throughout George Mendess magisterial Por-
the meal. Nine months after the tuguese classic from your grand-
menu launched, Stupak says, Weve
never repeated a salsa yet.
mas Sunday casserole is that elu-
sive combination of delicacy and Roast Chicken Wings
heft. There is bacalhau in the mix, LE T UR T LE BA R G O T O
olive oil (but no cream), garlic, and 177 Chrystie St., at Rivington St. 245 Eldridge St., nr. E. Houston St.
kalamata olives, all mingled in 646-918-7189 212-475-4411
Sausage a deep strata of potatoes, which
Mendes and his cooks thinly slice Its not the presentation that Kenta Goto says the atmosphere
G A BRIEL K REU T HER
like layers of a napoleon pastry and makes Le Turtles whole roast at his seven-month-old Bar
41 W. 42nd St., nr. Sixth Ave.
212-257-5826 bake to a golden crisp on top. Eat chicken the best in a burgeoning Goto draws inspiration, in part,
it all in one sitting, if you dare, or field, although this birds grand from the beauty and elegance of
do what we do and enjoy the left- procession from kitchen to Japan. Fittingly, the bars food
Gabriel Kreuther hails from that table on a bed of burning hay is is equally elegant. The standout:
overs the next morning, with a fried
great sausage region of eastern quite a show. But even if you superlative chicken wings that
egg on top.
France, Alsace, so it shouldnt come ate the thing blindfolded, youd arrive in a neat stack of tips,
as a surprise that his version of discern the moistness of the wingettes, and drumettes.
a country sausage, which you can meat, the crispness of the skin, Traditional hot sauce is swapped
the deep chicken-y flavor out for a milder housemade mix
enjoy in the bar area of his epony-
mous restaurant in midtown, con- Bar Snack all consequences of chef Greg of miso, soy sauce, chile, ginger,
tains three kinds of pork instead of T HE P OL O BA R Proechels five-day process. His and garlic. If you look around, you
1 E. 55th St., at Fifth Ave. fresh-killed pullets get brined may notice customers eating
just one. Bacon and pancetta are
212-207-8562 for 42 hours, hung in the walk-in theirs with chopsticks. But theyre
ground together with pork shoul-
for three days, roasted, rested so satisfyingtender, a little
der, along with cabbage for softness (breast side down; this is crucial), sweet, as fatty and salty as youd
and a hint of Gruyre for bite. The The celebrity-packed dining room kissed with charcoal, and blasted hopethat youll want to order
filling is piped into a natural casing, at Mr. Laurens restaurant has its with lemon and porcini salt. another round of drinks and dive
blanched to a baby whiteness, charms, but if youre lucky enough And thats before the fireworks. in with your hands.
roasted to a glistening brown, and to procure a table, we recommend
served in the highest possible Alsa- you linger a bit at the upstairs bar.
tian style with a pot of mustard and The drinks are pricey but well
a tangle of housemade sauerkraut. made, and because its for dining
guests only, the railroad-car space
rarely feels crowded. And then
there are those compulsively deli-
Cutlet cious fried olives. Theyre bite-size
green queen olives, coated with
W ILDA IR
142 Orchard St., nr. Rivington St.
bread crumbs and served warm
646-964-5624 in a silver bowl. Pop one in your
mouth as you enjoy your martini
and then another. Once youve fin-
Not so long ago, the best nonliquid ished the first bowl, ask politely for
sustenance you could hope for at a second. Theyre free, after all, and
a wine bar was a slab of old pt. they might just be the best thing
But the compact little menu at this you taste all night.
New Age Orchard Street wine bar Le Turtles
is filled with all sorts of blue-ribbon roast chicken.
recipes, including this pork Mila-
nese, which wouldnt taste out of
place in Milan, or even Vienna. The
Churro
generous flap of pork shoulder
C O SM E
35 E. 21st St., nr. Park Ave. S.
Fingers Fried
is well tenderized and perfectly 212-913-9659 FUKU+ SA DELLES
cooked. The golden, faintly eggy
15 W. 56th St., nr. Sixth Ave. 463 W. Broadway,
crust bubbles up in a most pleasing no phone nr. Houston St.
way. The sauce gribiche is stuffed Like lots of popular dishes 212-254-3000
with capers, bits of boiled egg, and imported to this city from afar Not until this inspired collaboration
parsley. Enjoy it with a Gamay- (pizza, bagels, General Tsos between Mission Chinese The 24-hour buttermilk
style bottle from Mendall, made by chicken, etc.), the churro has Food and Fuku came along has andspecial spices brine is one
a former IT wizard in the hills of suffered its share of abuse over the a chicken finger truly transcended key to this tender, crunchy,
northeastern Spain. years. Well, not anymore. This its chicken-finger-ness. Fried supremely regal, fried-to-order
delicate confectionavailable for to a perfect crisp, the white-meat bird, which appears as
lunch and brunch at this great tenders are tossed with Mission a regular evening special at the
Mexican restaurantis made to Chineses Chongqing spice blend Major Food Groups new
P H OTO G R A P H : PA U L WAG TO U I C Z

Soho outlet. But the thing we like

Casserole order and served like an elegant,
twisty piece of food sculpture.
(which Danny Bowien uses on
his beloved chicken wings), chile best are the trimmingsthe
LUPUL O Its consistency is airy and pastry- oil, and sliced scallions, then wad of wet coleslaw, the bottle
835 Sixth Ave., at 29th St.
like (instead of dank and greasy). topped with dried chiles. The of Crystal hot sauce, and the
212-290-7600 result is a crunchy, tangy, mouth- truffle honey, served with
Add the gentle dusting of sugar and
numbing umami explosion that proper New York style in an
the Mexican hot chocolate for dip-
makes this unquestionably etched-crystal jar.
The foundation of any great casse- ping, and its about as different
role is the pot its cooked in, and a chicken finger for grown-ups.
from your average big-city churro
this onea cannonball-black as a stale cookie is from the finest
Dutch oven as big as a hubcap Parisian meringue.

80 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
THE
BREA KFA ST SA NDWICH CA E SA R SA L A D

1 Southside Coffee

1 Salvation Burger

BEST,
652 Sixth Ave., at 19th St., Greenwood Heights; 230 E. 51st St., nr. Second Ave.; 646-277-2900
347-927-4870 No one has done more to elevate the Caesar than
Southsides eponymous breakfast sandwich is two April Bloomfieldfirst at the Spotted Pig, then at the
organic eggs scrambled in good butter; Heritage Breslin and the John Dory. Her latest effort is her
Meats ham; Cabot Cheddar melted on a toasted best yet: half a head of cool, crisp romaine, each spear
Balthazar bun; pickled red onions. And the clincher: left intact and brushed with a high-octane garlic
a fiendishly good concoction consisting of maple vinaigrette imbued with anchovy, Parmesan, and hot
syrup, Dijon mustard, and George Howell coffee English mustard. You pick the leaves up with your
grounds emulsified with oil and egg yolks into fingers and pop them into your mouth like French

PERIOD
a thickish breakfast mayo. Do better ingredients friesthe way the salads inventor, Caesar Cardini,
make a better egg on a roll? In this case, absolutely. originally intended. But the key to this leafy umami
bomb lies in Bloomfields wood grill, the embers of

2 4
which she uses to roast the garlic and to char onions
Joe Junior Court Street into a smoky black ash she scatters over the top.
167 Third Ave., Grocers

2 4
at 16th St.; 540 La Guardia
212-473-5150 Pl., nr. 3rd St.; Pietros American Cut
And yet, heres the flip 212-777-9292 232 E. 43rd St., 363 Greenwich St.,
because a restaurant, store, or side to the above Eggs, American cheese, nr. Second Ave.; nr. Harrison St.;
argument, rendered and New Jerseys 212-682-9760 212-226-4736
pinball-machine-laundromat opens The motto around the Marc Forgiones
from perfectly fine but unofficial state meat,
nearly every week in this city, Best nothing-special Taylor ham, a.k.a. mixing bowl is more is OG 1924 Hotel Caesar
of New York has traditionally meant ingredients by Ur-coffee- pork roll, on toasted more: more garlic, more is presented tableside,
shop griddle ninjas in Martins potato anchovy, more Parmesan. like a whole fish. Then
Best of New New York. (Typically, a seamless choreography breadthe ultimate When you have its whisked away to be
we draw from a pool of openings of sheer muscle memory. hangover squasher. a Caesar salad at Pietros, chopped by mezzaluna,
you know youve had all its premium

5
Well take our two
within the past year.) But for these fried, broken-yolk eggs Saltie a Caesar salad. parts coalescing
five iconic foods, we said to hell with

3
with smoky bacon and 378 Metropolitan into a harmoniously
the new and let quality alone American cheese on Ave., nr. Havemeyer M. Wells piquant whole.

5
whiskey downrye toast St., Williamsburg; Steakhouse
determine the winneralong with in short-order-speak. 718-387-4777 43-15 Crescent St., Upland
four worthy runners-up. After Long Island City; 345 Park Ave. S.,

3
The ultracreamy eggs
C&B are cooked with ricotta, 718-786-9060 entrance on 26th
some thorough research, we found 178 E. 7th St., seemingly by some Smoked herring St.; 212-686-1006
that in many cases, the upstarts nr. Ave. B; advanced scrambling supplants anchovies Justin Smillie swaps
in the dressing, heirloom chicories for
trumped the classics, proving that 212-674-2985 technique, and barely
and the mountain of standard romaine
The egg-and-chorizo contained within
innovation in the foodsphere on housemade Turkish a split of excellent, sea- shaved Parmesan and deploys anchovy in
and onion ash on a Caesar salad flatbread is what salted focaccia. looks like a stunt but both the dressing
McMuffins dream of Thats Salties Ships tastes like a dream. and the bread crumbs
can be a very good thing indeed. becoming. Biscuit. No bells. he mixes with dried,
rob patronite and robin raisfeld No whistles. No meat. pulverized fish. Genius.

82 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 Photographs by Bobby Doherty

 ICE CREA M L A SAGNA HOT DOG

1 Superiority Burger
430 E. 9th St., nr. Ave. A; 212-256-1192
Some folks consider Superiority an ice-cream
parlor that happens to serve mind-boggling
1 I Sodi
105 Christopher St., nr. Bleecker St.; 212-414-5774
Tuscany is not famous for lasagna, its true. That
honor belongs to Emilia-Romagna and Campania
1 Katzs
205 E. Houston St., at Ludlow St.; 212-254-2246
Everything you want in a hot dog youll find
at Katzs: a good amount of char, the essential
vegetarian food. The gelato is dense and slightly (not to mention junior-high-school cafeterias natural-casing snap, a tongue-tingling jolt of salt,
chewy; the sorbet is vivid and sharp, yet notably everywhere). But that hasnt stopped Tuscan native and a garlic-forward blend of spices that finds its
creamy; and the daily combo, layered with Rita Sodi from making lasagna al sugo di carne gustatory counterpoint in the soft, bland roll that
some crunchy topping (candied bread, dehydrated her signature dish, its firm-but-yielding strata of cradles it. Some deli aficionados we know go here
burger buns), is always a happy surprise. crisp-edged pasta sheets (Sodi says between 19 and solely for the dogs while other super-fressers consider
21) minimally sauced, amply cheesed, and stacked the ultimate Katzs tasting menu to consist of the

2 4
up as neatly as a deck of cards. She also offers an following: amuse-bouche (hot dog), appetizer (potato
Il Laboratorio del Otto Enoteca equally rich artichoke version, plus a seasonal knish), main course (pastrami sandwich), sides
Gelato e Pizzeria variationmost recently lasagna al tartufo, larded (pickles and fries), dessert (hot dog).
188 Ludlow St., 1 Fifth Ave., with bchamel and shavings of black truffle.

2 4
at E. Houston St.; at 8th St.; 212-995-9559

2 4
212-343-9922 Mario Batali really Nathans Famous The Cannibal
Jon Snyder is the gelato should have named Del Posto Il Gattopardo 1310 Surf Ave., 113 E. 29th St., nr.
OG, continuing the the place Otto Enoteca 85 Tenth Ave., 1315 W. 54th St., at Stillwell Ave., Park Ave. S.;
chef-driven custom- e Pizzeria e Gelateria, at 16th St.; nr. Fifth Ave.; Coney Island; 212-686-5480
flavor work he started thanks to the 212-497-8090 212-246-0412 718-946-2202 LaFrieda makes the
at Ciao Bella in the 80s. groundbreaking work Though Mark Ladner Mini-meatballs, ricotta, If hot-dog-eating is dogs. Chef Francis
Where else can you do of Meredith Kurtzman, has taken his and smoked mozzarella all about context, then Derby makes the mapo-
side-by-sides of sweet who made the restaurant showstopping 100-layer distinguish this there is no better tofu-inspired tripe-and-
potato and butternut an essential destination production off the proudly Neapolitan place to eat an all-beef, ground-short-rib chili
squash; white and for the signature menu, he will make it lasagna di Carnevale. natural-casing tube- that goes on top. And

5
black sesame; black and olive-oil flavor, plus available (in meatless, steak than among the Martins makes the bun.
white peppercorn? sumptuous sundaes meat-sauced, Gaia Italian Caf flowing summertime Youll want more than
gluten-free, oven- 251 E. Houston St.,

3
called coppettas. hordes at the original one, which is why they
baked, or pan-seared nr. Norfolk St.;

5
Morgensterns Nathans. come two to an order.
permutations) to 646-350-3977

3 5
Finest Ice Cream Ample Hills
2 Rivington St., nr. Creamery anyone who asks. At only $8 a tin bowl, Schallers Stube Hard Times

3
Bowery; 212-209-7684 Various locations the pesto lasagna, 1652 Second Ave., Sundaes
Nicholas Morgenstern Its not just that this Teodora enriched with buffalo nr. 86th St.; 630 Flushing Ave.,
has very particular modern-ice-cream-era 141 E. 57th St., ricotta and bchamel, 646-726-4355 nr. Bartlett St.,
ideas about ice-cream pioneer pasteurizes nr. Lexington Ave.; may be New Yorks best The Swiss-cheesed, Williamsburg
formulas and sundae its own milk and makes 212-826-7101 baked-pasta bargain. sauerkrauted, and Andrew Zurica serves
assemblynamely, that its own bases and As satisfying a lasagna secret-sauced all-beef the citys best smash
butterfat and sugar mix-ins; it also gave the (and soulful a rag alla frankfurter called burgers from a truck
should be restrained, world Salted Crack Bolognese) as youd a Steubens Reuben parked outside
flavors should be Caramel and limited- expect from an Emilia- could change the most the Pfizer Building.
pronounced, and cream edition flavors like Romagnan stronghold. conscientious hot-dog His bacon-wrapped,
should be hand- the Star Warsinspired purists views deep-fried Brooklyn
whipped to order. the Light Side and the regarding toppings. style chili dogs
Dark Side. are nearly as good.

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 83
 BEST OF NEW YORK Sexy Shoes
GIANVITO ROSSI
963 Madison Ave., nr. 75th St.
646-869-0201

SHOPPING
Like his father, Sergio, third-gener-
ation shoemaker Gianvito Rossi
is unapologetically Italian about
his heels: pumps with elongated
backs, ankle ties reminiscent of
corsetry (and prices hovering
around $800). But Gianvito, who
opened his first New York store-
front in August, is a bit more
understated than the elder Rossi
instead of open-toe booties covered
in crystal, the selection in his Patri-
cia Urquioladesigned space leans
toward a palette of black and tama-
rind red, with the occasional dash
workplace stretch pants, manly it bags, and three-dollar porcelain bowls. of leopard. The black-tie-leather
Lexi pump ($875), in particular, is
very Carine Roitfeld.

Department
Store
T O T OK A EL O
54 Crosby St., at Spring St.
844-868-6523

After a decade in Seattle, the Dover

Street Marketesque Totokaelo
comes to Soho bearing its own
curation of Vetements velvet turtle-
necks, Issey Miyake parachute
pants, and sequined Margiela ankle
boots. But this airy five-floor store
doesn t have the theatrical
(or pretentious) vibe that usually
accompanies such directional
fashion. The mostly black mens
and womens clothing plays against
light-wood Ruud Jan Kokke furni-
ture and potted succulents; the
staff is warm and eager to help; the
selection, though extravagantly
priced (nylon bombers by Acne
Studios for $600, elongated Rick
Owens silk tees for $430), often
feels more timeless than statement-
making. There are great seasonal
sales, too.

Cheap
Home Goods
FLY ING TIGER
920 Broadway, at 21st St.
212-777-1239

If its time to freshen up the throw

pillows, but you simply dont have
an Ikea run in you, good news: The
prices at this Scandinavian empo-
rium are actually lower than your
average discount home store. And
A Gianvito somehow (probably because the
Rossi pump. store is owned by a massive Copen-
hagen-based corporation that has

84 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 Photograph by Bobby Doherty

 COMFORT. DAY AND NIGHT.

Custom made easy

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 BEST OF NEW YORK
hundreds of retail posts world-
wide), the quality far outmatches
the price tags: hefty porcelain bowls
for $3, a lovely $7 vintage-inspired
cobalt-blue glass cake platter, thick
packages of bright paper napkins
for a buck. A multicolor woolly cir-
cular carpet for $120 is about as
expensive as it gets.

Vintage
Cookbooks
A R C HE ST R AT US
BO OK S + F O OD S
160 Huron St., at Manhattan Ave.,
Greenpoint
718-349-7711

Helmed by Brooklyn-raised Ital-

ian-American Paige Lipari, the for-
mer curator of McNally Jacksons
cookbook selection, this homey
shop is dedicated purely to culi-
nary-focused tomes. The 4,000 or
so titles, most of them out of print,
include volumes of beloved fran- Kith Women
chises, like Pierre Franeys 60-Min-
ute Gourmet books and Jeff Smiths
Frugal Gourmet series (both $8), office-wardrobe investment you and ferried for customers via a
and kitschy gems, like the 80s-era picked up at Theory but in fact are dumbwaiter disguised as a white-
Dinah Shore Cookbook ($12) and elasticized just like your yoga leg- Millennial-Dad marble pedestalsells some 130
Marie D. Smiths 1967 Entertain-
ing in the White House ($10). Even
gings. For guys, the technical cash-
mere tees ($88) have a luxurious
Clothes pairs of top-tier, hard-to-find sneak-
ers like fringed high-top Chuck Tay-
if youre one for whom recipes Italian-milled feel but machine- NOA H lors ($100) and mens Adidas Ultra
195 Mulberry St., at Kenmare St.
might as well be written in Old wash like Hanes. And should you Boosts ($180), all strictly in smaller
no phone
English, its worth taking the wish to know more about the sizes to fit female feet.
G train for the aromas wafting research and technology that make
from the open kitchen in back of this all possible, just ask one of the Last year, Brendon Babenzien left
the in-store caf, where Lipari stores eager employees, who seem his post as Supremes creative direc-
bakes versions of Sicilian classics,
like lemon and jasmine S cookies
to have Ph.D.s in garment science. tor to work on his own label, which VHS Store
leans less teen hype-beast and more SWO OPYS GR O OV E PA L AC E
and dark-chocolate-and-pistachio cool dad. (In fact, one of the cas- 360 Van Brunt St., at Sullivan St., Red Hook
Florentines (see page 82 for more sette-tape mixes in the boom-box 718-855-0360
on the caf goods). Mexican window display is titled Cool Dad.)
General Store Traditional pieces in surprising pat-
ternssun-dyed crewneck sweaters The piles of records and VHS tapes
M I S C E L NE A N YC ($428), houndstooth baseball caps were starting to engulf Bene Cooper-
Office 63 E. 4th St., at Bowery
212-253-0277
($88)are easy to find thanks to the smiths Red Hook home, so he
Athleisure clean, skateboard-free layout and
staff who are so over that disaf-
opened a shop nearby to unload the
goods (also available: his books).
K IT & AC E Most of Guillaume Guevaras fected-salesperson thing. Coopersmith keeps about 100 tapes
152 Spring St., nr. Wooster St. in the store at a time, filling in 1993
844-548-6223
friends lived in the East Village but
found themselves complaining action thrillers like Demolition Man
about schlepping to Sunset Park when someone purchases Richard
Those who wear Lululemon often for the comfort foods and tortilla
Womens Sneakers Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip. Most
P H OTO G R A P H S : CO U R T E S Y O F T H E V E N D O R

do so in spite of themselves: All presses of their Mexican youth. So tapes go for a few bucks, and he rents
the labels Tribeca Mom clichs the Mexico Cityborn entrepreneur K IT H WOM EN to locals for free. Now all you need is
64 Bleecker St., at Crosby St. a working VHS player.
seem to fade away the moment you found 250 square feet of retail no phone
feel (and see your butt in) those space and opened an upscale
tissue-soft four-way-stretch pants. bodega (Miscelnea actually trans-
In his latest venture, Kit & Ace, the lates to corner store). Perhaps Men seem to have endless options
founder and former head of Lulule- even more delightful than the car- these days when shopping for Classic Toy Store
mon has managed to make every- nitas and caf negro, though, are limited-edition kicks; women, not so T EIC H T OYS & B O OK S
day, non-workout clothes that wick the dry goods: handmade wool ani- much. Luckily, rare-footwear pioneer 573 Hudson St., nr. 11th St.
sweat and caress the body in much mals from Chiapas (from $22), Ronnie Fieg, founder of sneakerhead 212-924-2232
the same wayand without any Mayan clay facial masks from temple Kith, has just opened a wom-
conspicuous labels. For women, the Tulum ($29), and Fabuloso floor ens outpost. The all-white shopa
high-waisted cropped Mulberry cleaner ($4), which he calls Mexi- cleverly designed 400 square feet, In an era when FAO Schwarz is no
pants ($148) might appear to be an cos quintessential scent. with the stock kept in the basement more and iPads have supplanted

86 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
 BEST OF NEW YORK
the Etch-a-Sketch, West Village
locals Allison and JJ McGowan
make a case for the analog land of
make-believe. Old-school board
Fashion Furs
Y V E S SA L OMON
games like HiHo! Cherry-o ($22) 790 Madison Ave., at 67th St.
and Candy Land ($18) sell out reg- 212-988-8145
ularly; during twice-weekly story
time, little ones sit in a life-size
train set and listen to shop clerks You might have seen Yves Salomons
read A Walk in New York and Tap fur-lined army parka ($1,950) on
the Magic Tree. Just dont expect to Fashion Week fixtures like Rihanna
find Barbies newest Dreamhouse and Kanye West. But even though
among the Keith Haring dominoes its first New York store just opened
($65) and other predominantly in December, this century-old
gender-neutral options. French brand is much more than a
fad: Thomas Salomon now runs the
business his great-grandfather
opened as a fur trader in 1920. In
S&M Props addition to various color iterations
of the aforementioned parka, the The twin founders of Want Les Essentiels.
M A IS ON C L O SE brass-accented shop teems with
32 Grand St., at Thompson St.
212-680-3153
calf-grazing dusty-shaded minks
($7,600), bright-green fox and rac- brand may have done for the
man bag what Mansur Gavriel
Punky Jewelry
coon snoods ($3,560), gray merino-
Sure, you can pick up lacy thongs shearling coats ($2,995), and, of did for the minimalist (and rela-
and the occasional nipple tassel at course, plenty of fashion editors and tively affordable) fashion purse. DIR T Y H A ND S JEW ELRY
Agent Provocateur or La Perla. But celebrity shoppers. Less branded than Prada or Louis 296 Bedford Ave., at S. 1st St., Williamsburg
at Frenchman Nicolas Busnels Vuitton, more structured than Jack 718-599-0375
purple-and-black-walled boudoir, Spade, and less expensive than
what one imagines to be the store Herms or Valextra, Want Les This dark-wood shop is full of more-
of choice for Maggie Siff s character
on Billions, theres a far more Man Bags Essentiels makes totes, backpacks,
and duffels in smooth French
original alternatives to punk-
inspired designer accessories: uni-
extensive offering of upscale kink: WA N T LE S leather and sturdy canvas, all rarely sex double-wrapped black-onyx
leather-and-gold gags ($170) E S SEN TIEL S exceeding $1,000. Strategically bracelets ($210); sterling skull rings
301 W. 4th St., at Bank St. placed utilitarian detailspadded
alongside jet-bead harnesses ($115) ($450). Argentine jeweler Enrique
646-398-7584
and patent-leather ankle cuffs internal laptop sleeves, expandable Muthuan makes everything by hand
($325). The purple velvet curtains pockets for cell-phone chargers in the back of the store; the vintage
in the store windows can be shut at Founded by a hip set of Jamaican- make them particularly well suited caf racer motorcycle he parks out
the shoppers request. Canadian twin brothers, this unisex for travel, too. front is not for sale.

For Every Decade, a New Vintage Furniture Store

P H OTO G R A P H S : E M M A K E P L E Y ( A DA P TAT I O N S N Y ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F T H E V E N D O R S ( R E M A I N I N G )

50s 60s 70s 80s 90s

Man of the World Baxter & Liebchen Adaptations NY Sasha Bikoff Mind Over Matter
108 N. 7th St., nr. Wythe Ave., 50 Laight St., nr. Hudson St. 109 Franklin St., New York 165 Greenpoint Ave., nr.
second fl., Williamsburg 212-431-5050 nr. Greenpoint Ave., 459 Washington St., nr. Canal Leonard St., Greenpoint
718-384-8588 Greenpoint St.; 646-692-9847 929-295-8746
Andrew Kevelson left his 347-529-5889
The mens lifestyle career as a Wall Street IT Twenty-eight-year-old Tucson transplant
magazines first physical guy to pursue his hobby as a In Greenpoints growing interior designer Sasha Elle-Ditta Sciarrones
outpost, on the floor mid-century-modern homewares district, Bikoffs collection of holistic home store,
above menswear store Scandinavian-furniture Kyla Burneys pleasantly Herms and Chanel scarves sparsely arranged
Gentry, has rare three-bulb collector; the rare originals cluttered storefront offers reworked into throw with mindfully sourced and
floor lamps by Italian range from Hans Wegner 70s-California alternatives pillows ($1,250) are upcycled pieces, has
artist Angelo Lelli ($20,125) daybeds ($3,000) to Kai to first-apartment conversation pieces for a southwestern-farmhouse
and glass side tables Kristiansen rosewood dining Ikea furniture, including Upper East Side yentas and vibe with her 90s
with attached lamps by chairs ($9,600) and have caramel velvet sofas can be tossed on her rattan coffee tables
French designer Jacques appeared on TV shows (like ($850) and sleek record pink croissant love seats ($295) and woven place
Adnet ($8,500). Mad Men, naturally). cabinets ($700). ($12,000). mats ($28).

88 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
Terms & Conditions A pply

Snooze longer,
sleep tighter,
snuggle harder,
snore louder
& dream bigger.

E N J OY $ 5 0 O F F A C A S P E R M AT T R E S S W I T H C O D E : N Y M AG
Offer ends April 30, 2016

O N E P E R F E C T M AT T R E S S C A S P E R .C O M
 BEST OF NEW YORK Shark Cocktail

FUN
MO T HER OF PE A RL
95 Ave. A, at 6th St.
212-614-6818

Tiki has struggled to take hold in

New York, but Mother of Pearl aims
to change that with a space thats
more aerielike and bright than its
predecessors. On warm days, the
cheery front room opens wide to
Avenue A, with sheer curtains and
hardy-banana plants lining the
entrance. Take a seat at a flowery ban-
quette or post up at the tiled bar atop
a bar stool modeled after Polynesian
sculpture, and ask head bartender
Jane Danger for a Shark Eye cocktail
($15)it blends passion fruit with
Maraschino and bourbon and is
a pop-up hip-hop night, a tribeca date bar, and a fried-chicken party room. poured over pebble ice into a shark-
shaped glass. To finish, Danger
dashes cherry-red tiki bitters into the
drink and lets them dribble down the
side of the sharks mouth, resulting
in a cocktail thats both downright
delicious and Instagram catnip.

Slushie Cocktail
LEY ENDA
221 Smith St., nr. Butler St.,
Boerum Hill; 347-987-3260

After the cocktail cognoscentis pen-

dulum swung some years ago from
Prohibition-era tipples to unpre-
tentious cocktails served by bartend-
ers, not mixologists, it carried another
trend with it: boozed-up slushie
drinks. They may have reached their
apotheosis at pan-Latin-themed Ley-
enda, where partner Ivy Mix serves
the Headless Horseman, a cinna-
mon-y frozen drink made with
pumpkin, allspice dram, and cachaa,
then topped with an aflame lime
wedge. Its one on a list of many Latin-
inspired drinksseveral garnished,
prettily, with fresh flowerswhich
you can knock back with a plate of
guacamole (foods by Sue Torres) at
the 13-seat wooden bar in a room
decorated with Virgin Mary statues
and Mexican prayer candles. Or take
your drink to the sunny back patio.

35th-Birthday
Bar
BL AC K FL A MING O
168 Borinquen Pl., nr. Keap St.,
Williamsburg; 718-387-3337

Heres a new one: midlife millen-

nial. Thats who Bryce David and his
partners had in mind when they
opened this bar and dance club, a
spot for grown-ups who still want to
rage but feel too old for the hangar-
size dance bars like Output and Ver-

90 Photograph by Bobby Doherty

 MAKE A DATE WITH...

LAURA BENANTI ZACHARY LEVI

GAVIN CREEL BYRON JENNINGS MICHAEL McGRATH
and JANE KRAKOWSKI

SHE LOVES ME
Also Starring PETER BARTLETT
Book by JOE MASTEROFF Music by JERRY BOCK Lyrics by SHELDON HARNICK
Based on a play by MIKLS LSZL
Music Direction by PAUL GEMIGNANI
Choreography by WARREN CARLYLE
Directed by SCOTT ELLIS

NOW IN PREVIEWS ON BROADWAY

Studio 54 254 West 54th Street
212.719.1300 roundabouttheatre.org
Major support for She Loves Me is provided by The Blanche and Irving Laurie Foundation.
She Loves Me benefits from Roundabouts Musical Theatre Fund with lead gifts from The Howard Gilman Foundation and Perry and Marty Granoff.
 BEST OF NEW YORK
boten. Upstairs, revelers can chitchat
at the Miami-inspired bar: Palm
leaves brush up against redbrick Downtown
walls, and a vegetarian bar menu
offers miso-tofu tacos alongside Date Night
simple cocktails like a $12 ginger T H E BENNE T T
caipirinha. Once the drinks take hold, 134 W. Broadway, nr. Duane St.
no phone
folks can head downstairs to the
70-capacity dance cave, where DJs
keep everyone moving with disco- This sliver of a bar seems fashioned
inflected house music inspired by the for close encounters, from the velvety
days of the Loft and Paradise Garage. dark-blue banquettes to the mir-
rored back bar that allows for covert
touch-ups while waiting for your
date to arrive. But the most obvious
Hotel Bar nod to intimacy are the call buttons
Without the Hotel at every table, guaranteeing that you
wont be disturbed unless you want
T HE FREEHOLD to be. (Theyre a staple of Yves Jadot, The Bennett
45 S. 3rd St., nr. Wythe Ave., Alberto Benenati, and cocktail guru
Williamsburg; 718-388-7591
Meaghan Dormans other bars, Dear Palooza is limited to serving At a recent party, a Jay Zversus
Irving and Raines Law Room.) Not only Hennessy cocktails, and Grits Kanye West set concluded with
Just as the Ace Hotel lobby did for since Weather Up has there been a & Biscuits just plays southern- a preview of Wests new album
Flatiron start-up bros, the Freehold low-lit bote so worthy of a date night trap tunes, the VS Saturday-night The Life of Pablothe night before
offers a community space for Wil- in Tribeca, an area full of restaurant- parties offer a more universal con- it officially dropped. The crowd
liamsburgs upwardly mobile set (but bar hybrids and see-and-be-seen cept. Promoter Clarence Fruster went wild.
with no rooms upstairs). The recep- spots. The Bennett even has romance launched the roving series (its
tion desk is actually a coat check, built into the menu: The Frank of been held at the Roxy Hotel Tribeca
while the hostess, who lends out America ($15), a rye-and-spiced- and Irving Plaza) with DJs ranging
Monopoly and Risk, goes by con-
cierge. Beneath 16-foot-high ceilings,
maple ode to Dormans boyfriend. from big names like Talib Kweli
to locals like Austin Millz spinning
Pinball Beer Hall
the freelancing afternoon crowd logs hour-long versus setsthink
SUN SHINE L AUNDR OM AT
860 Manhattan Ave.,
onto free Wi-Fi and takes meetings Beyonc versus Rihanna, Drake
Roving
nr. Milton St., Greenpoint
on mid-century-modern couches. versus Meek Mill, and old-school
But come sundown, social-media
managers let loose with $3 pint spe- Hip-Hop Party Bad Boy versus Roc-A-Fellathat
elicit plenty of grinding and Push open the dryer-machine door
cials, outdoor Ping-Pong, and stand- T HE VS PA R TIE S yaaass of approval from the in the back of this laundromat, and
vsparties.com youre suddenly in a hidden beer
up-comedy shows. On weekends, crowd. A $15 to $30 cover charge
DJs play to a packed bar of Manhat- gets partygoers an hours worth of bar that also happens to host what
tanites whove come to dance on the Pop-up hip-hop parties arent an open bar sponsored by top-shelf might just be the citys best collec-
couches to Biggie Smalls remixes. new to the city. But while Henny liquors like 1800 Tequila and Ciroc. tion of publicly playable pinball
machines. There are currently
27 games, including classics like
The Freehold the Addams Family, modern hits
like an AC/DC Limited Edition,
and an ultrarare Big Bang Bar; all
are pulled from proprietor Peter
Roses roster of mint machines.
Also available: eight rotating beers
from Other Half and Barrier Brew-
ing, a bizarre vending machine (a
few bucks gets you a pregnancy test
affixed to a pack of pork gravy), an
Area 51 arcade game built into an
old dryer, and, coming soon, a giant
claw machine that passersby will be
able to operate from the sidewalk.
P H OTO G R A P H S : CO U R T E S Y O F T H E V E N D O R S

Beachside
Beer Hall
C ONEY ISL A ND BREW ING C O.
1904 Surf Ave., nr. W. 16th St.,
Coney Island; 718-996-0019

While breweries continue to pop

up boroughwide, with Strong Rope
simmering oatmeal stouts in
Gowanus and LIC Beer Project fer-
menting beers in industrial Long

92 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
 WHITNEY

YOU CAN
SEE AMERICA
FROM HERE

LAURA POITRAS: THROUGH Whitney Museum

Detail of Disposition
Matrix installed in
Laura Poitrass studio, of American Art

ASTRO NOISE MAY 1 99 Gansevoort Street

New York, December,
2015. Photograph by
Sarah Wilmer whitney.org
 BEST OF NEW YORK
Island City, their locations leave
something to be desired. Especially
when compared to the salt-breeze
setting of Coney Island Brewing.
Unveiled in September, the brew-
ery has beachy blue walls, board-
walk-style floors, and a steel
bar where Eric Hernandez serves
beers every bit as thrilling as the
Thunderbolt: a whiskey-cocktail-
inspired Hot Toddy ale and Bel-
gian-style Trappd on the Cyclone.
Come summer, the patio is the per-
fect aprs-beach roost for toweling
sand off toes while hydrating with
a Mermaid Pilsner.

Bartending
Class
GENUINE
LIQUORE T T E
191 Grand St., at Mulberry St.
646-726-4633

Expensive bartending classes were

once the realm of NYU undergrads Genuine Liquorette
unaware that the certificate handed
out at the end would do little to earn
them a job at PDT. Those looking to Aviation to the Zombie, plus new until the early morning. Revelers
learn how to mix better drinks at creations. The textbook-style bring their own booze and sound
homehow to properly stir ice, Upper East menu (learn about classic drinks system, but the kitchen will stay
what kind of cocktails need a hard
shakewould be better off taking a Side Bar through history while getting
tipsy) makes sense when you con-
open serving two-piece chicken
snack boxes ($4.50) and curly fries
three-hour $75 seminar with Eben SE A M ST RE S S
339 E. 75th St., nr. First Ave.
sider head bartender Pam Wiz- ($2.50) as long as the party runs.
Freeman. On select Monday nights, nitzer was a masters candidate in
212-288-8033
the bar closes for the lessons, during food studies at NYU while bar-
which youll focus on technique, tending at the Dead Rabbit. The
learn to make the bars signature Youve heard this one before: A
canned cocktails, and get your pic- classy cocktail bar opens on the
space has a sultry feeltabletop
candles, red leather banquettes
Drag Show
ture taken for the wall, meaning you Upper East Side, an oasis in frat- thats great for dates if youd prefer TAC K Y T UE SDAYS
can now jump behind the bar and land (indeed, youve heard it at this that to cocktail history. AT B O O T S & SA DDLE
mix drinks for your friends. Its nice very address beforethe space was DR AG L OUNGE
being a patron here, too: You can formerly home to the cocktail 100A Seventh Ave. S.,
order a hamburger from the Genu- haven JBird). But as much as nr. Grove St.
646-892-4800
Secret
ine Superette kitchen upstairs and Seamstress distinguishes itself in
sip one of Ebens All-Star cock- location, it stands out for its mas-
tails, like the Crumble, a drink he tery of American classics; the Party Room Most Hells Kitchen drag shows
first served at the late, great Tailor. menu offers 50 of them, from the BR OA DWAY C R OW N offer slick and put-together pro-
FRIED C HIC K EN ductions. But on Tuesday nights,
Coney Island Brewing Co. & PI Z Z A something a little less polished
691 Broadway, nr. Whipple St.,
happens at this more-than-40-
East Williamsburg year-old West Village mainstay
718-387-7780 (which moved from Christopher
Street to its new location, in the
former Actors Playhouse space,
P H OTO G R A P H S : CO U R T E S Y O F T H E V E N D O R S

Beyond the fried-chicken counter last summer). Illuminated by

and past the kitchen is a nonde- hanging lanterns and neon beer
script storage room that doubles logos, feisty host Ari Kiki (male
as a 150-person party venue, com- name Marti Balloveras) wears ill-
plete with a crystal chandelier. fitting Forever 21 plus-size outfits
Mohammad Nawabi, part owner of and askew lipstick while barreling
this neighborhood fried-chicken into the audience to lip-sync and
joint, rents out the 1,400-square- banter. In a skintight get-up, Ari
foot space (from $1,200 for five recently did a reverse somersault
hours) to moms hosting baby while aping a Kelly Clarkson tune.
showers, independent record labels That was 300 pounds going over
throwing holiday parties, and even me! Ari exclaimed, cackling. Sev-
a local raver who had DJs playing enties drag star Divine has been
her vape-themed birthday party reborn for the Drag Race age.

94 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
 I
2016 Bed Bath & Beyond Inc. and its subsidiaries.
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 BEST OF NEW YORK Airbnb Cleaner
H A NDY VAC ATION -

HOME
RENTA L CLE A NING
handy.com/host

The Airbnb hosts dilemma: Do you

clean the apartment yourself or hire
help? With the Handy apps new

&HELP
vacation-rental-specific service, thats
no longer even a question: About
$70 gets a one-bedroom apartment
professionally prepped and cleaned
to your exact specifications. Because
the app lets you schedule arrivals to
the half-hour with Uber-like effi-
ciency, theres no worries about track-
ing down your regular housekeeper
if youre blessed with a last-minute
booking. And unlike Handys regular
cadre of cleaners (who have gotten
cheap upholsterers, sneaker refurbishers, and a dog-borrowing service. mixed reviews), the Vacation Rental
service employs only people who have
been specially trained in the art of the
Airbnb turnoversome of whom
have years of hotel experience. In
other words: The vacation-rental
option is also a great Handy hack for
the non-Airbnb-hosts who are just
looking to deep-clean their digs.

Fancy Wallpaper
Installer
PE T ER R ODRIGUE Z
IN T ERIORS
551-265-3089

When de Gournay, maker of non-

pareil hand-painted wallpaper,
staged a showcase last year, it
tapped this 36-year veteran to
install the panels. But besides
a paper trail that stretches from
Gracie Mansion to Ralph Lauren,
Rodriguez works mainly on high-
end residential projects that can
cost anywhere from $500 for
a bathroom to $10,000 for a five-
story stairwell. He specializes
in high-end custom papers (from
the likes of Flavor Paper and Maya
Romanoff ), and though top-shelf
wallpaper is an investment, Rodri-
guezs handiwork can last 20 years
thanks to his meticulous surface
preparation, priming walls and
adding canvas liners for optimum
peel prevention.

Japanese Plants
GREEN FINGERS
5 Rivington St., nr. Chrystie St.
646-964-4420

In Japan, Satoshi Kawamoto has

built a plant-styling empire: He has
five stores in Tokyo and two in
Yokohama, and last March he relo-
cated his tiny East Village outpost

96 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 Photograph by Bobby Doherty

 BEST OF NEW YORK
to a much bigger Lower East Side
storefront. Satoshi purchases his
plants from all over the U.S. but
chooses varieties popular in Japan,
like flowering pink Medinilla
($80), that are often hard to find
elsewhere in the city. The store itself
is like a plant gallery, with striped
Aloe variegata ($40) propped on
wooden crates, red moss ($40)
hanging low along brick walls, and
a Satoshi-designed outdoor garden
in the back. But while theres now
enough space to sell Japanese
homewares and vintage concert
tees, those are really there just to
show how his 200 plant options
might complement your home.

Drop-in
Laundry Tutorials
THE L AUNDRE S S ST ORE
199 Prince St., at Macdougal St.
212-564-6788

This laundry boutiques raison The Laundress Store

dtre is its line of upscale eco-
friendly cleaning products like non-
fading denim wash and de-pilling
sweater combs. But its die-hard ing.) But the staff are willing to offer adman, at $125 an hour, Belock not sample book, this nimble three-
fansmostly downtowners and advice any day of the week; people only moved his unsightly heaps of person team (led by self-taught
Japanese touristsknow to head routinely bring in stained clothing jackets from sagging hooks to an Hector Diaz since 1996) operates
here for free advice on everything for impromptu consultations. out-of-the-way bin but, after digging primarily on a bring-your-own-
from how to wash designer cash- into his habits, devised a laundry fabric basis, which cuts the wait
mere to removing smells and schedule that made him realize he time (jobs take an average of two to
schmutz from workoutwear. The needed several more shirts and three weeks). The high volume Diaz
friendly staff are made up of a crew Marie Kondo socks to get back into an excuseless bangs outfrom firming up old
of well-trained stain experts who on
Saturdays offer free drop-in lessons Alternative daily gym routine. For a harried
working mom, she helped purge the
pillows to grafting entire six-piece
sectionalsallows him to charge
with rotating themes. On a recent KORINNE KUBENA kitten heels she hadnt worn since around $475 for a job that might
afternoon, an instructor gave BEL O C K AT URBA N college, then crafted a seamless daily cost $800 elsewhere. Diazs atten-
a tutorial on tackling spot stains like SIM PLICIT Y exit plan for her kids, which led to tion to detail has made him some-
646-942-8676
ring around the collar, for which the less resentment toward her not- what of a cult figure among interior
store had on hand a thick stack of quite-helpful husband. But its as designers; when Noah Turkus of
dirty white mens button-downs for Korinne Kubena Belocks organiza- much about Belockwho is particu- Weiss Turkus Projects needs a set of
demonstrations. (The solution: tional systems streamline not just larly lighthearted and warm for velvet bucket chairs reswathed in
a targeted scrub with a soap stick, your running shoes but your entire someone whos made it her career to lambswool, he swears by Diazs tight
then a lengthy soak before wash- way of life. For a 30-something be anal-retentive (she has a decade handiwork and good prices.
of political organizing under her
belt)as any of her processes. Peo-
Korinne Belock at Urban Simplicity ple trust her to rearrange their lives.
Pet Owners
Carpet Cleaner
FLY NNS C A RPE T
Insider
P H OTO G R A P H S : CO U R T E S Y O F T H E V E N D O R S

& FA BRIC C A RE
Upholsterer 800-256-1899
E STIL O UPHOL ST ERY
170 Rivington St., nr. Clinton St. Nothing scares New Jerseybased
212-473-1735
rug doctor Michael Flynn, who spe-
cializes in getting out pet stains.
Unlike nearby marquee upholster- Urine is notoriously clingy (ani-
ers Zarin and Joes Fabrics, this mals often reoffend on previously
basement-level workshop doesnt marked territory), so Flynn uses
stock any fabric in storekeeping special detergents that break down
overhead low and prices down. urine salts, then rinses the rug
While customers can order almost thoroughly to remove any trace
any material, including cotton vel- of the scent. And Flynn solves a
vet and vegan suede, through a hefty range of problems that come

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 97
 BEST OF NEW YORK
with dog-hair-strewn households,
from housebreaking emergencies
(he makes same-day house calls)
to chronic allergies. While high-
residue detergents and shoddy
rinses can leave a carpet more
soiled and sneeze-inducing than
before, Flynns hypoallergenic
carpet cleanse (cleaning for an
eight-by-ten wool rug starts at
$350) staves off dust mites for
around six months, fighting indoor
crud at the root.

Bike
RepairSlash
Coffee Shop
OFF T HE BRID GE
105 Canal St., at Forsyth St.
212-775-8599

The ever-growing mass of cyclists

pouring out from the Manhattan
Bridge into the city on their daily
commute now has an excellent
Horology 101
and excellently located, right off the
bike-path exitoption for flats
acquired on the milelong ride
(from $15 to repair). Off the Bridge
And thanks to the FAQ section of shed spent the weekend with
is a hybrid thats home to arguably
the website, theres no gray area. another couple as they decided
Watch-Tinkering
the citys best bike wizardand ter-
Youll know exactly what youre get- whether their schedules were flex-
rific summertime cold brew. Owner
Qian Who is an incredibly thor-
ting (theyll cover furniture with
blankets, but: Do not be a P.O.S.
ible enough to provide for a little
Fido of their own. Classes
ough mechanic (come in to have
Take the time to pack your stuff ) HOR OL O GY 101
your handlebars cut and hell point
and how much they expect for a tip Horological Society of New York
out that your brake pads are in dan- 180 W. 76th St.; no phone
(between $15 and $30 per per-
gerous need of replacement) and is
skilled at custom work, like fash-
son). Plus, theyre just a nice group
Sneaker
Refurbisher
of guys: A colleague who used their Since February 2015, the 150-year-
ioning special wheels. Hes also per-
services says they even shared their old Horological Society of New
sonable: Hell remember your RETRO
favorite restaurants and watering York has offered the only work-
name and repairs youve had done REV I VA L S USA
holes in her new neighborhood. shops in the city in which hobbyists
in the past, and hell learn about 831 Flatbush Ave.,
how you use your bike to inform nr. Linden Blvd., Flatbush
can learn basic watch mechanics
the way he works on it. Plus: This 718-282-0500 in a single session for the relatively
summer he hopes to open a coffee
Loaner low cost of $159other workshops
are geared more toward profes-
Dogs
window for on-the-go snacks and
drinks so cyclists wont even have to With sneaker releases shutting sionals, lasting for days or weeks
dismount to fuel up. BA RKNB ORR OW down city blocks and consignment and costing thousands of dollars.
barknborrow.com prices skyrocketing into the thou- Over the course of two hours inside
sands, it is more important than a stately room in the societys
ever to keep those Air Jordans in headquarters on the Upper West
Friendly Movers L.A.-based entrepreneur Liam
Berkeley founded his dog-lending
tip-top shape. Recognizing the
demand, 24-year-old sneaker col-
Side, watchmakers from big-name
companies like Rolex oversee six
SW EE T L OU MOV E S YOU app after a busy travel schedule lector Michael Curtis developed students equipped with jeweler
407-399-4211
stopped him from buying a pup on a set of techniques through trial lenses, slender screwdrivers, and
his own. In November, New York and error on his own Jordans tiny tweezers as they learn to deli-
Louis DeFabrizio and his crew at dog owners were invited to join by before hiring a team of artistsnot cately remove each wheel and
Sweet Lou Moves You are a bunch posting their pooches pictures and shoemakersto remove creases spring from a movement (the time-
of good-natured straight-shoot- relevant information (age, breed, from Jordan 3s ($10), revive yel- keeping piece) and put them back
erswhich is a rarity among mov- temperament) while, like Tinder, lowing soles on Jordan 11s ($25 for together again. These classes have
ers. Prices start at $220 for two non-dog-owners with profiles of three sessions), and erase surface been in such high demandat one
P H OTO G R A P H : H O D I N K E E

hours, and DeFabrizio makes it their own could swipe through to dirt and oil stains ($20) on any pair time the wait list ballooned to
clear from the get-go that youll arrange playdates. On a recent in between. Clean kicks are ready 1,000that theyre now offered
always get a three-man team, and Sunday afternoon, we met up with within 24 hours, and his refurbish- three times a week. If you find
no, the rates are not negotiable. Tallulah (age six, poodle, very ers will even paint custom designs yourself hooked after one session,
(Expect to find three strong chill) for a long walk in Prospect (your initials, Freddy Kruegers the society offers more advanced
Brooklyn skaters and musicians in Park while her interior-designer face) onto leather uppers, or dye workshops focused on specific
need of in-between gigs; Louis owner was stuck inside finishing the shoe to your favorite color parts of the timepiece such as the
likes to hire me, 10 years ago.) a project. A few weeks before, scheme (from $15). escapement and the gear train.

98 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
Disney

lionking.com
 BEST OF NEW YORK Brow Plucking
T HE NEW STA FF AT

HEALTH
SA NI AS BR OW BA R
48 W. 20th St., nr. Sixth Ave.
212-247-1129

Known for shaping the brows of

fashion editors and reality stars both

&SELF
male and female, as well as for her
signature style (all plucking, no wax-
ing, for a full, yet laser-precise, arch)
and $85 prices that hurt more than
the tweezer, the Bronx-born Sania
Vuetaj has been a one-woman show
up until now. On March 1, she intro-
duced fresh blood: her two daughters
(Valbona and Syzana) and a niece
(also Valbona). Theyve grown up
learning the Sania method and, in
our experience, are just as ninjalike in
swiftian bobs, football-drill workouts, and the drybar of facials. shaping brows of all types. The only
and majordiscernible difference
between the new teammates and the
queen bee is, at $48 a session, they
cost about half as much.

Killer Workout
T ONE HOUSE
20 E. 17th St., nr. Broadway, second fl.
646-453-6633

The roughly ten-minute warm-up

alone is harder than most boot-
camp classes around the city: a
football-conditioning-inspired burst
of sprints, burpees, and jumps. Then
its time to get started: about 40
minutes of crawling and galloping
on all fours, lifting and swinging
giant battle ropes, and pushing
weighted sleds until youre hit with
the inevitable urge to curl up into a
ball and die. At which point founder
Alonzo Wilson and his team always
manage to say just the right thing to
get you to the ten-minute cool-
down. When youre done, you can
take a victory selfie under the ultra-
flattering red lights ($35 per class).

Bob Cuts
MIKI L OI AC ONO AT
W HIT T EMORE HOUSE SA L ON
45 Grove St., nr. Bleecker St.
212-242-8880

Jennifer Lawrence has one. So do

Adele, Taylor Swift, and Taraji P.
Henson. Gigi Hadid doesnt, but she
faked one with a wig at the American
Music Awards and caused a world-
wide stir. Its not surprising, then,
that backstage stylist Miki Loiacono
has seen a surge in bob requests over
the past year. Which makes the for-
mer apprentice of Milans Aldo Cop-
pola salon very happy, considering
his passion for the chin-length look
(probably tied to his obsession with

100 Photograph by Bobby Doherty

 BEST OF NEW YORK
20s film star Louise Brooks). His Bang McCurdy) seem to specialize than what many high-end salons and smooth, never greasy or red,
cuts (from $275), often involving in watercolor tattoos. But while those will charge you for that effortless and the glow can last for days.
strategic layers in the back, are all artists tend toward still lifes and chignon or va-va-voom waves. (For
about texture and movement; theyre landscapes, the trippy watercolor $400, you can even book the
never uniform or severe. He consid- works of Gene Coffey, a ten-year vet- founder himself, George Kyriakos,
ers each clients features, face shape, eran of Brooklyns Tattoo Culture, the man behind Carolyn Bessette
Kennedys wedding hair.) The site
Ninja School
and hair type and snips each bob to make him the Dal to their Monet. In NINJA WA RRIOR
optimize them all. Wavy hair, which his wood-paneled, art-book-lined offers similarly top-tier profession- T R A INING C L A S S AT
is notoriously tricky when it comes to shop in LIC, hell render a sleeve of als (and prices) for makeup, too. BR O OK LY N Z O O N Y
pulling off shorter styles, also hap- vibrant orchids dripping thick black 230 Bogart St., at Ten Eyck St.
pens to be Loiaconos specialty. ink, a jellyfish wrapping itself down 347-987-3228
the clients torso, a window view of
the Chrysler Building from Broad- Basic Facial Motivated by a $1 million cash
way. What he wont do are subtle HEY DAY prize and an open-door audition
Rowing Class ankle flowers or lipstick kisses: He
limits his work to medium- and
1130 Broadway, nr. 26th St.
thinkheyday.com; 646-869-3601
policy, devotees of the American
CIT Y ROW large-scale projects, which start at
Ninja Warrior competition show
80 Fifth Ave., nr. 14th St., No. 1501 have been honing their skills on
about the size of an outstretched
212-242-4790 Think of it as the DryBar of facials: backyard builds of the shows
hand, for $250 per hour. Theyre now
no frills, great prices, and only one trademark obstacle courses.
so in demand he books out at least
Rowing is the new spinning. The type of service on the menu, book- Thankfully, space-starved New
three months in advance.
ever-growing pool of indoor-rowing able online or through the app Yorkers now have another option:
boutiques (Row House, ICE) all do ($60 for 30 minutes, $95 for 50 the new upstairs expansion to this
an impressive job of warding off minutes, $135 for 75 minutes, with East Williamsburg parkour gym,
boredom by mixing up sets on the Special- select $35 enhancements avail-
able). Gentle, non-pushy skin ther-
which is packed with re-creations
of the shows trademark obstacles,
machine with on-the-ground moves
like lunges, weight-lifting, and yoga Occasion Primping apists analyze, cleanse, exfoliate, such as the Warped Wall and
poses. But what gives the 50-minute ST Y LEB O OK ING S.C OM mask, and massage the skin, using Salmon Ladder. Twenty-five dol-
sessions at CityRow ($32) an edge is organic products like Grown lars gets you an hour-long training
the style of machinery: Rather than Alchemist, One Love Organics, and course. Options for kids and all-
Whether its bridesmaid duty, an Naturopathica. There arent private female classes are available, too.
using the traditional air models,
art-gala fund-raiser, your first ted rooms, just nooks with curtains,
these classes use only water rowers,
talk, or whatever your version of but thats easy to get over thanks
which connect to an actual water
a red-carpet moment may be, some- to the hip dcor (floating shelves,
tank for resistance and feel more
authentic, with their satisfying
times you want a glam squad wor-
thy of the occasion. But usually
a cactus named Curtis), Haim
background tunes, and impressive
Custom Mascara
swooshing sounds. (Theyre also the EY EKO BE SP OK E BA R
those sought-after hairstylists are blackhead elimination.
model preferred by Frank Under- Saks Fifth Avenue, 611 Fifth Ave.,
booked months in advance and nr. 49th St., fifth fl.; 212-940-4251
wood on House of Cards.)
charge more than the cost of a gown.
Enter stylebookings.com, which
Though the idea of buying a specially
builds on the concept of beauty-on-
Fancy Facial made, proprietary shade of lipstick
Abstract Tats demand services like Priv, only for
a much more discerning clientele. T H E SE C ONDE PE AU seems relatively logical in the beauty-
C OFFE Y SHOP TAT T O O S Appointments can be made one to (Second Skin) Biologique splurge world, the virtue of custom-
21-36 44th Rd., Long Island City Recherche facial at ized black or brown mascara is less
seven days in advance, and every the Peninsula Hotel Spa,
718-433-4228
stylist on the roster has years of edi- apparent. But in fact, theres a lot
700 Fifth Ave., at 55th St.
torial experience under his or her 212-903-3910 more to the ideal mascara than just
Lots of big-name inkers these days belt. Prices start at $180, which is tint: volume, curl, separation,
(Amanda Wachob, Keith Bang a few times higher than Priv but less growth, shine. And so with this $50
Some facials rely on ancient cup- service at the Eyeko Bespoke Bar,
ping techniques in order to deliver a makeup artist learns your #lash-
Biologique Recherche facial at the Peninsula Hotel Spa. dewy and youthful complexions; goals, choosing from a field of over
others involve expensive medical- 100 brush-formula combinations.
type equipment. The Peninsula While trying on two or three finalists,
Hotel Spas latest facial ($310), expect some universal tips (Coat
which comes from French com- both sides of the lashes to prevent
pany Bioligique Recherche (the clumping) as well as coaching tech-
brand behind the cult skin-care niques tailored to your specific deep-
product P50), blends old-world set (or almond-shaped, or sensitive)
P H OTO G R A P H : CO U R T E S Y O F T H E V E N D O R

methods and new: brisk facial mas- eyes, so that youll never think of
sages to soothe and contour the mascara the same way again.
skin alongside the worlds first
hyaluronic acid electrospun contributors: Samuel Anderson,
machineessentially the 3-D Joshua M. Bernstein, Arianna Davis,
printer of facials. The machine Rachel Felder, Kathleen Hou, Crystal
prints delicate strips covered in Martin, Michael Musto, John Ortved,
hyaluronic acid, a molecule that Alex Ossola, Rob Patronite, Adam
can hold up to a thousand times Platt, Seth Porges, Robin Raisfeld,
its mass in water; they are then Rebecca Ramsey, Vanita Salisbury,
placed along the more fine-line- Lauren Schwartzberg, Jessica Silves-
prone areas to directly infuse ter, Alexis Swerdloff, Alan Sytsma,
moisture and plump up the skin. Sierra Tishgart, Diana Tsui, and
The resulting look is hydrated Mary Jane Weedman.

102 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
Toyo Ito,
SANAA,
Sou Fujimoto,
Akihisa Hirata,
Junya Ishigami:
A Japanese
Constellation

Member Previews Mar 912

Opens Mar 13

Major support for the exhibition

is provided by the E. Rhodes and
Leona B. Carpenter Foundation,
The Japan Foundation, and
Chris A. Wachenheim.

Generous funding is provided by

Obayashi Corporation, Kajima
Corporation, Shimizu Corporation,
Taisei Corporation, Takenaka
Corporation, the Graham Foundation
for Advanced Studies in the Fine
Arts, Kumagai Gumi, The Obayashi
Foundation, and Toda Corporation.

Special thanks to Muji.

Additional support is provided by the

MoMA Annual Exhibition Fund.

Clockwise from top: Toyo Ito.

Meiso no Mori Municipal Funeral
Hall, Gifu, Japan. 200406.
Toyo Ito & Associates, Architects;
SANAA. Rolex Learning Center,
cole polytechnique fdrale de
The Museum of Lausanne, Switzerland. 200510.
Modern Art Iwan Baan; Akihisa Hirata.
11 West 53 Street Bloomberg Pavilion, Museum of
Manhattan Contemporary Art Tokyo. 201011.
moma.org Takumi Ota
 P H OTO G R A P H : CO U R T E S Y O F C E N T R E P O M P I D O U, PA R I S / M U S E E N AT I O N A L DA R T M O D E R N E / C E N T R E D E C R AT I O N I N D U S T R I E L L E A N D T H E M E T R O P O L I TA N M U S E U M O F A R T, N E W YO R K / 2 0 1 6 E S TAT E O F PA B LO P I C A S S O / A R T I S T R I G H T S S O C I E T Y ( A R S ) , N E W YO R K

(1923)
Harlequin
Picasso
Pablo
gwen stefani
/
bjarke ingelss pyramid
/
n o v e l i s t c y n t h i a d a p r i x s w e e n e y

occupies the Whitney. By Carl Swanson

/ critics

Six centuries of unnished art, now at the Met, which now

/
parties

From the Drafts Folder

/

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k
105
to do
T h e C U LT U R E PAG E S

every single one of the

works here has a story
attached to it, says Sheena
Wagstaff, the British curator hired
away from the Tate Modern to
direct the Mets dramatic expansion
into contemporary art (and into the
old Whitney building on Madison
Avenue, which its renting from the
Whitney for that purpose). The
drawbridge reopens March 18 on
the reflagged brutalist redoubt, and
Wagstaff gave me an early walk-
through of the first big show,
Unfinished: Thoughts Left
Visible, and her thoughts, which
mostly involve the shifting
parameters of what it means that
a piece is unfinished. That Wagstaff
chose this theme, explored with
works dating from 1437 to 2015,
could be read as a gesture toward
something like transparency
(unusual for the Met) or even
humbleness (more so). But the first
show also furthers an imperious
claim: that the canon the Met has
long seemed to embody is not
a story with a fixed endpoint but
one thats open ravenously to the
contemporary. The show starts with
a Titian (The Flaying of Marsyas,
which is considered a bit
underpolished for a Titian) and
ends with a wall full of six streaky
green-and-white Cy Twomblys that
have never been seen outside his
studio. The unfinished conceit
is flexible: Sometimes that means
abandoned mid-creation, because
of the death of the artist (or the
person paying for it), but more often
the work is left a bit ragged on
purpose to achieve some stylistic or
rhetorical point. Dodging art
handlers (with their rubber suction
cups) and donors getting sneak
peeks during installation,
Wagstaff and the shows two
curators (Kelly Baum and Andrea
Bayer) told those stories.

106 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
 P H OTO G R A P H S : CO U R T E S Y O F T H E B R A N DT F O U N DAT I O N , G R E E N W I C H , CO N N E C T I C U T, A N D T H E M E T R O P O L I TA N M U S E U M O F A R T, N E W YO R K ( P E Y TO N ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F M R . A N D M R S. OT TO N A U M A N N , N E W YO R K , A N D T H E M E T R O P O L I TA N M U S E U M O F A R T, N E W YO R K ( M E N G S ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F T H E
Clockwise from top left:
pablo picasso
The Charnel House
(194445)
Completed at the end of the
war, it may depict concentration
camps or victims of a Franco
massacre. Picasso donated
the painting to a veterans
organization in 1946, then

M E T R O P O L I TA N M U S E U M O F A R T, N E W YO R K ( WA R H O L ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F T H E M U S E U M O F M O D E R N A R T, N E W YO R K , A N D T H E M E T R O P O L I TA N M U S E U M O F A R T, N E W YO R K / 2 0 1 6 E S TAT E O F PA B LO P I C A S S O / A R T I S T R I G H T S S O C I E T Y ( A R S ) , N E W YO R K
asked for it back. He clearly
considered it finished enough
to donate, and then he called
it back to his studio to, he
said, make corrections, and
then he sold it, says Baum.
We dont know if he made
any corrections.

anton raphael mengs

Portrait of Mariana
de Silva y Sarmiento,
Duquesa de Huescar
(1775)
Mengs was a very prominent
painter of his timepapal
commissions and so forthbut
it isnt clear why this wedding
portrait went unfinished,
leaving two very Baldessari-ish
flat blank spaces. Theres the
ring, and that would be the
faithful dog, Bayer points out.
The subjects face, too, looks
blurred, as if shed gotten
caught on a reality-TV shoot
and refused to sign a waiver.

andy warhol
Do It Yourself (Violin)
(1962)
Warhols Do It Yourself
series marked his move into
fine art and was based on the
then-popular Venus Paradise
paint-by-numbers kits. He
made five of them and filled
in only one of them all the
way. Its a finished painting
of an unfinished paint-by-
numbers kit, notes Baum.
The task of completing
the work was left to the
viewer of course, these
works are now too valuable
to allow that to happen.

elizabeth peyton
Napoleon (After Louis
David, Le General
Bonaparte Vers 1797)
(2005)
A repainting of a famously
incomplete painting, which
Peyton saw in the Louvre and
found inspiring. (The show
features another incomplete
Jacques-Louis David painting
of a young martyr to the
French Revolutionthat
Robespierre commissioned
shortly before its patron was
imprisoned and decapitated.)

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 107
T h e C U LT U R E PAG E S

The Great Pyramid

of 57th Street
Bjarke Ingels is reshaping the city. By Justin Davidson

via 57 west will open to residents this month.

N
ew york is a city where From certain perspectivesdriving up
good architects come to the West Side Highway, saythe asym-
gnash their teeth. Global metric structure looks vaguely pyramidal,
monument-builders find an emblem of pharaonic self-aggrandize-
their designs eaten away ment. Actually, its a joyous rewrite of the
by termitelike regulations, community partly affordable rental building, a type
objections, and budget-shaving special- that for years has choked the skyline with
ists. Instead of signing the skyline with invasive species of featureless glass.
brio, they accept their slots along the Vias faade follows a hyperbolic
street, confining their individuality to a paraboloid, the curving, mathematically
faade flourish or two. precise surface that gives us the Pringle
Which makes the recently rising, now and the swooping 1960s saddle roof.
established superstar Bjarke Ingels a Albert Frey and Robson C. Chambers
bracing presence. Rather than beat used the same type of bending plane in
against the citys dense mesh of con- the 1965 Tramway Gas Station in Palm
straints, the 41-year-old treats it like a Springs. Le Corbusier bundled nine such
trampoline, letting it vault him in unex- shapes to sculpt the Philips Pavilion at
pected directions. In the five years since the 1958 Brussels Worlds Fair. Ingels
the Danish architect set up a New York taps into this bygone eras moment of
outpost of Bjarke Ingels Group (BIG), he futuristic optimism, not for its nostalgia
has become one of the citys principal value but to recover the geometrys for-
shapers. The firms plan to buffer the gotten potential. The difference lies
East Side from 23rd Street to the Man- partly in its scale. Instead of a small con-
hattan Bridge against storm surges with crete folly, he has produced a tower with
landscaped berms and barriers will soon 709 apartments. Ingels has designed a
go into construction, and BIG has community, not a cocoon.
designed future skyscrapers at the World
Trade Center and the High Line. All that
even before his first American building,
seen here, is quite complete: Via 57 West,
the apartment tower with a triangular
profile, is getting its final tweaks.

Photograph
by Christopher
Griffith
T h e C U LT U R E PAG E S

taste in friends: among some of my great-

est accomplishments. Coleen Cahill, an ad
exec from Sweeneys former book club,
sidled over to praise Sweeney in turn. She
was wildly popular as a Brooklyn mother
and a clutch player in their book group,
Cahill said. Sweeney shrugged and sipped
from her first Manhattan.
Before conquering brownstone Brook-
lyn, Sweeney grew up in Rochesterone
of four siblings in a family that resembled
the Plumbs in The Nest only in their occa-
sional squabbles. I wasnt exposed to
actual wealth until I moved to New York,
she said, apropos of the novels upmarket
localesa tony suburb, the Grand Central
Oyster Bar, an Italianate brownstone very
much like the Sweeneys old house. She
worked her way through an upstate Catho-
lic college and moved immediately to New
York, besotted with Esquire and The New
Yorker and the contemporary fiction she
hoped to emulate. I would have loved to
go into publishing, but I would have had to
have two jobs. So Sweeney, whose father

Blooming Late, was a marketing consultant, went into cor-

porate communications.
Fiction lived in this elevated place,
Lucratively Sweeney said. All my friends were in
finance or law or advertising. At one party,
she met a lawyer who was quitting his job to
First-time novelist Cynthia DAprix Sweeneys become a stand-up comic. She was about to
seven-gure midlife breakthrough. leave her own job as a corporate copywriter,
contemplating fiction but without a decent
By B O R I S K A C H K A plan in place. She married Mike in 1991;
four years later, he got a job writing for Late
the nest is out March 22. Night With Conan OBrien. After halfheart-
edly trying to write, she went back to mar-
keting, taking time off to be a mom. (The
couple have two sons, 18 and 21.)
Looking out a brownstone window, Leo

Y
ounger debut novelists might consider a million-dollar Plumb, the novels overgrown enfant terri-
advance an annunciation; 55-year-old Cynthia DAprix ble, muses on Brooklyns quiet lives of aspi-
Sweeney, whose first book, The Nest, is out later this month, ration. The Sweeneys moved there from
just laughedand drank a lot of whiskey. Like the four the West Village in 1997, joining the gentri-
fying childbearers of the creative class.
middle-aged New York siblings in her deftly braided novel,
Once I had kids, a much more creative
left rudderless after a trust fund evaporates, Sweeney has known highs world opened up to me, Sweeney said.
and lows, ambition and compromise, Park Slope momhood and an After September 11, her employer went
empty L.A. nest. (Her husband, Mike Sweeney, is Conan OBriens head under, and she started writing seriously
writer.) On a visit to New York in February, it was going to take more than again, but the idea of measuring up to the
other parents at the Berkeley Carroll School
burst pipes and freezing rain to ruin her homecoming. seemed ludicrous: When you see [writers
S O U R C E P H OTO G R A P H : L I S A W H I T E M A N

Sweeney was in from L.A. for a week of treats to supplement the bar menu; her like] Elissa Schappell and Colin Harrison at
meetings, and her former Prospect husband, Esquire cocktail historian Dave pickup, youre just like, I cant tell them
Heights neighbor, Times food writer Wondrich, was sadly liquorless. about my Mediabistro writing class.
Melissa Clark, had meant to gather I guess you could call us the Brooklyn Another subclass of Brooklynite fueled
friends for a house party stocked with sar- parenthood survival group, said Wondrich, the novel: the trust-fund listless. There was
dines on focaccia and Turkish-pepper who wore a long, wiry gray goatee. Back always that confounding moment: Youve
deviled eggs. But Clarks plumbing gave when Sweeney still lived here, their circle got that house, and nobody works I was
out in subzero temperatures, and the organized some of the neighborhoods best- fascinated by how unhappy some of those
group repaired to nearby faux-rustic provisioned playdates. Dave would make people were. The Nests fiction-writing sib-
Flatbush Farm instead. Karen Rush, a drinks, and Karen likes to cook, Sweeney ling, Bea Plumb, combines the two anxiet-
recipe tester, smuggled in a couple of said, congratulating herself on her canny ies, financial and creative. Bea skyrocketed

110 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 Illustration by QuickHoney

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T h e C U LT U R E PAG E S

to fame years ago with a flashy story collec-

tion only to recede into blocked obscurity,
returning the advance for a novel she
couldnt finish. Almost every editor I spoke
to when the book was on submission said, I
know who you modeled Bea on, said
Sweeney, and they were all different peo-
ple, some of whom Id never even heard of.
She said she feels fortunate to have dodged
the fate of the wunderkind: I was spared
my bad books.
Sweeney published a few light essays in
the aughts but agonized over darker mate-
Some Doubt
rial until her friend Liza Powel, a Columbia
With her new solo album
M.F.A. grad who happens to be married to (and new relationship), Gwen Stefani
Conan OBrien, suggested she write it as fic-
tion. Around that time, she joined an online
proves the value of public insecurity.
group of creative women, including would- By L I N D S A Y Z O L A D Z
be Transparent creator Jill Soloway. They
were nice connections to have, in more than
this is what the truth feels like is out March 18.
one sense: It was like having a bunch of
therapists who were smart, funny, female,
and did not shy away from being prescrip-
tive, Sweeney said. It was empowering, to

A
use a slightly old-fashioned word. t the turn of the millennium, Gwen Stefani and
When Conan moved west for The I both had braces. I was 13, she was 30, and she and her
Tonight Show, the Sweeneys followed. The band, No Doubt, were preparing to release their third
first six months were really hard, she said. album, Return of Saturn, named for that horoscopic
We were all miserable, and I think that event that occurs once every 30 or so years, when the
opens up possibilities. She gave herself a titular planet occupies the same place in the sky it did when a person
year to commit to writing, at the end of was born. This is supposed to be, astrologically speaking, a time of
which she applied to Benningtons low- great upheaval and emotional confusion in ones life, and accordingly
residency M.F.A. program. In her last year Stefani dyed her hair Lisa Frank pink and got adult braces. I always
there, a teacher suggested turning one short told myself when I got rich, she said about her orthodontics in Harp-
story into a novel and ditching the others. ers Bazaar a few years ago, thats the first thing Id do.
By 2013, she had more than 100 pages of I loved her for this; at 13, I loved Gwen for most things. And so
what would become The Nest. By the end of I dont remember exactly where I was as the 90s switched to the
the following year, Ecco Press paid seven aughts and, miraculously, the worlds computers kept working, but
figures in a preempt deal. I do remember that I was watching MTV so I could see No Doubt
Well into her second Manhattan at Flat- perform a cover of R.E.M.s Its the End of the World As We Know
bush Farm, Sweeney was matter-of-fact It. Gwen kind of fucked it up. She tried her best with the lyrics,
about her midlife renaissance. Bennington and there was a youthful, sugar-high energy to her delivery, but
was simply a shortcut: deadline, structure, she couldnt quite maintain the frenetic pace set by the bands
community. You write that check, you get wild-man drummer Adrian Young. My favorite theory, and the one
those things. With or without the M.F.A., I choose to believe, is that her braces kept getting stuck to her lips
she was determined to be so persistent that and that was what made her stumble. Butnow and especially at
if she failed, its a failure of talent. Of 13something about her failure to nail the performance was more
course, reimagining your career is an easier admirable than success would have been. A famous woman had
thing to do when you dont have two kids appeared on television, on a network that could then still be rea-
running around. sonably understood as an arbiter of cool, and let herself be as
Asked about her success, her erstwhile gawky as I very often felt. And somehow this made her beautiful,
neighbors began attesting to inner confi- magical, and aspirational. I bought some Manic Panic pink hair
dence before Sweeney cut them off. Were dye that year, but my mom let me use it only in the summer, when
not people who are flashily trying to get school was out, and even then not the whole head. Just, in the
attention, she said. Whatever props we front, two pink streaks.
get, its just because were diligent workers. There have, before and since, been many, many phases of Gwen
She looked at her friend Katherine Schul- Stefani, who is now 46 and about to put out her third solo album, This
ten, whod read multiple early drafts of The Is What the Truth Feels Like. I have adored some of these phases
Nest. This girl works so hard, Schulten (athletic ska punk Gwen; Eves BFF sidekick Gwen), been troubled
said. I love to tell the story of Cynthia to by some of them (Harajuku Barbie Gwen; Native Americanhead-
friends. You did not start writing fiction dress Gwen), and, for a brief period after she got her braces off, felt
until you were in your mid-40s, right? personally betrayed. But when you take a step back, the arc of the
Sweeney nodded. So that gives hope to the Orange County natives musical and stylistic evolution really has three
middle-aged everywhere, doesnt it? main acts: from the plain and unassuming lead singer of a local ska

112 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
T h e C U LT U R E PAG E S

Stefani, 1999.

band (nascent No Doubt) to the Deborah found myself reconciling with Gwen, on the strong new This Is What the Truth
Harry of the 90s alt-rock boom (famous drawn to her again almost magneti- Feels Like, a good chunk of which was
No Doubt) to a slick pop star whose aes- callygoing through my own personal written as recently as January. This
thetic is some combination of Vargas girl Gwenaissance, if you will. It pains me to makes songs with guess-who-they-could-
and high-school drum majorette (solo say that it took something as awful as the possibly-be-about titles like Red Flag
Gwen). That latter phase has lasted the dissolution of her 13-year marriage to and Used to Love You feel startlingly
longest, and, at least for a certain kind of Gavin Rossdale (taking a page out of the up-to-the-minute and in tune with the
person who grew up with the antic goofi- Ben Affleck playbook, he was cheating on tabloid stories weve been reading. (Or,
ness of No Doubt, has been something of her with the nanny) to make her seem ahem, high-mindedly pretending not to
a comedown from the heady days of her relatable again, butin the spirit of put- be reading.)
pink hair. Somewhere before her first ting ungainly truths on displaythere And by this logic, of course, the albums
solo album, 2004s Love. Angel. Music. you go. Sure, most musicians thrive off bubbly, crush-struck songs are obviously
Baby., she got one of those Hollywood heartbreak, but this is hypertrue for about her new boyfriend and ex-Voice co-
makeovers that seem irreversibleshe Gwen Stefani, the woman who made her judge Blake Shelton. Stefani executes
was now in with the in-crowd. The girl name with the breakup ballad for the these just as well as the ballads and the
whod once made awkwardness and ages (1996s megahit Dont Speak) and kiss-offs, and that in itself is its own kind
cheekiness seem so glamorous was, sud- who possesses one of those mellifluously of revenge. The charm of the great lead
denly, telegraphing the opposite mes- honking voices that always sound like single Make Me Like You is that it finds,
sage: Sand down your rough edges, and they have just cried or are about to cry or, in new love, not simple (or cheesy) eupho-
theyll like you even more! at their most emotive, are currently cry- ria but playful vexation at its tendency to
All of which is to say that, while I ing. So it should come as little surprise disrupt your best-laid plans. Whyd you
loved a few singles here and there, Ive that she sounds creatively reinvigorated have to go and make me like you? she
P H OTO G R A P H : G R E G O RY PAC E / S YG M A / CO R B I S

found it kind of hard to feel enthusiastic pouts. It feels irrepressibly, convincingly

about Gwen Stefani for the past decade teenagewhich is maybe why its my
or so. Its maybe because there is a cer- favorite Gwen Stefani song in ages.
tain level of sheen and precision about Theres an unspoken pressure in our soci-
her now that makes her feel distant. The girl whod ety for women to act their age, whatever
Perhaps there is an element of my own that means, so maybe the most inspiring
immaturity at play here, but I cannot made awkwardness thing about Gwen is that, at her best, shes
help hearing a voice in my head that seem so glamorous disregarded that false ideal. I didnt
snipes, in the cadence of a jilted tween, was, suddenly, expect her new album to clarify exactly
Gwens been so stuck-up ever since she why I worshipped her when I was
got her braces off. telegraphing the younger, but it did: Shes always been the
But for the past couple of months, Ive opposite. worlds oldest teenager.

114 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
BORN IN JERSEY.
MADE IN AMERICA.
Photo: Warwick Saint

August Wilson Theatre, 245 W. 52nd St.

JerseyBoysBroadway.com
 m o v i e s / b o o k s / t v

T h e C U LT U R E PA G E S

march 22 30
LOUIS ANDRIESSEN
CRITICS
David Edelstein on Creative Control and Knight of Cups ... Christian Lorentzen on Tony
Tulathimuttes Private Citizens ... Matt Zoller Seitz on Underground.

HEINER GOEBBELS
ICE
PETER RUNDEL

M O V I E S / DAVID EDELSTEIN
Epic an unclassifiable Even Better Than Google Glass
hybrid of theatre, narration, The augmented-reality comedy
singing, instrumental music Creative Control is virtually perfect.
and philosophical reflection
The Guardian (UK)
benjamin dickinsons cheeky, ultrachic sci-fi comedy Creative Control
turns on the concept of augmented reality, delivered here via a pair of eyeglasses
ARMORYONPARK.ORG that enable the wearer to capture, manipulate, and enhance the
image of anything or anyone. The wearer is David (played by Dick-
(212) 933-5812 inson), a trim, bearded, Williamsburg-based adman who uses a
CREATIVE CONTROL
DIRECTED BY BENJAMIN
DICKINSON. AMAZON

643 Park Avenue at 67th Street pill to rev himself up on his way to the office, Scotch to ease himself STUDIOS AND MAGNOLIA
PICTURES. R.
down before bed, a smokable anti-panic drug called Phalinex, and
KNIGHT OF CUPS
a personal digital assistant to keep him feeling connected to the DIRECTED BY TERRENCE
MALICK. BROAD GREEN
rest of the world. The glasseson loan from a client called Aug- PICTURES. R.
mentalook to be the ultimate way to bend reality to his will.
Season Sponsors
Photo: Wonge Bergmann for the Ruhrtriennale 2014
When he cant bring himself to put the their bodies to create a fluid path to cosmic
moves on his best friends girlfriend, oneness. Increasingly high-strung and
Sophie (Alexia Rasmussen), he surrepti- uncentered, Juliette takes another lover but
tiously uses his glasses to scan her form has a mystical vision of Davids face atop
and checks into the Wythe Hotelaway hisa sign, she maintains, of her and
from his own live-in girlfriendto get to Davids connection. Is this vision meant to
know her better. You might say that be genuine, really real, or the fruit of
David attains creative control at the another sort of drug? Creative Control is the
expense of, well, his soul. most elegant vision imaginable of a world in
Working in a crisp, clean black and the process of losing its moorings. march 22 30
white, Dickinson creates a future in which
the shells of cell phones and tablets are
nearly transparent, so that their text and
terrence malicks last cinematic de-
votional, To the Wonder, offered a radiant
LOUIS ANDRIESSEN
images seem suspended in the air, in
clear-partitioned offices in buildings
vision of Mont Saint-Michel, an island ab- HEINER GOEBBELS
bey off the coast of Normandy that glowed
made of glass. When Dickinson splits the with the intensity of the Holy Grail. His ICE
screen, the effect isnt jarring: Its an
extension of a space that seems infinitely
newest cine-liturgical montage, Knight of
Cups, focuses on the lower sphere, a world
PETER RUNDEL
subdividable. The whole world is com- of faades and garish materialism: Holly-
posed of invisible partitions. In one shot, wood. If movies are, indeed, both a prod-
the jittery, drug-addled David navigates a uct of and a road to hell, Malick is doing
screen on which multiple people text him his damnedest to transcend the medium.
with increasing urgency while, via a video His protagonist is Rick (Christian Bale),
link, the Augmenta commercial designer a reasonably successful screenwriter with
(fuzzy-maned Williamsburg hipster Reg- the potentialif he makes a pact with
gie Watts, as Reggie Watts) babbles about someone who speaks in the seductive tones
multiple, convoluted realities. David is at of you-know-whoto be very rich. As it
once plugged in and far away. He resem- stands, hes a trapped and writhing soul,
bles the dangerously (to women) indeci- albeit one that gets to sleep with one gor-
sive title character (skewered from the geous woman after another.
inside) of Adelle Waldmans novel The Knight of Cups opens with snatches of
Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. But hes a The Pilgrims Progress as intoned by John
Nathaniel P. whom technology has taken Gielgud before settling into an episodic
to a disturbing new level of solipsism. allegory (each chapter separated by tarot
Dickinson is too cool to spell out cards) of a fallen knight whose grail has
a message, but Buddhists, 12-steppers, receded from view. Ricks estranged father
and sundry anti-materialists will tell you (Brian Dennehy) says in voice-over that
(at length) how the hunger for control is this young knight forgot he was the son of
the shortest path to enslavement. The a king, fell into a deep sleep, and didnt
connections among addiction, high-tech cherish the precious pearl that was
virtual reality, and the purgatory of solip- bestowed on him. Finally awake, a groggy
sism put Creative Control in the slip- Rick thinks back on how he lost that pearl.
stream flowing from Philip K. Dick, while All of this is accompanied by a syntax
a preference for artificial life forms over that is unique and, as such, treasurable.
humans links the film to the recent Her. There is no palette like Malicks. Brad Pitt,
Antonionis masterpieces of alienation are co-producer and star of The Tree of Life,
somewhere in the artistic stew, but Dick- once said (after Malick blew off a Cannes
inson (along with cinematographer Adam press conference) that the director was like
Newport-Berra, production designer a man with a great butterfly net, grabbing one of the most
John Furgason, and Parisian visual-effects at images. My impression is that he con-
studio Mathematic) makes their inorganic trives a semi-coherent script, shoots it, and important compositions
universe all of a piece. The soundtrack, full then, in the editing room, removes much of
of baroque chestnuts, adds an extra layer the dialogue and narrative tissue, paring of the late 20th century
of irony that the movie might not need, down the film to archetypal gestures.
but it creates a lovely counterpoint to the Theres more variety in his weave than there The Washington Post
abrasive, sadomasochistic fashion photog- was in To the Wonder: Scenes in which
raphy of Davids pal Wim (Dan Gill). The Ricks father raves about a son who died
thing to hang on to is that we humans are (sometimes with the sound below the level ARMORYONPARK.ORG
already framing reality to suit our whims of audibility) while Wes Bentley as Ricks
and fetishes. The foundation of Creative bitter, unstable surviving brother totters (212) 933-5812
Controls future is already here. and moans burn through Malicks haze. But 643 Park Avenue at 67th Street
Dickinson finds a place for a different, archetypes have a way of turning into
more wholesome sort of reality too. Davids abstractions or, worse, clichs, and Malick
girlfriend, Juliette (Nora Zehetner), is a repeats himself so much the movie comes
yoga instructor, helping students to adjust to feel like self-parody.
Production Sponsor
Photo: Wonge Bergmann for the Ruhrtriennale 2014
 THE ORCHID SHOW:
ORCHIDELIRIUM

THROUGH APRIL 17

Knight of Cups

Its not always clear if the leggy beauties

Founding Sponsor: (Imogen Poots, Freida Pinto, Natalie
Portman, several others) are meant to be a
distraction or a source of potential deliver-
Major Sponsors: Sponsors:
Mr. and Mrs. Charles M. Royce Karen Katen Foundation ance. I guess it depends. Ricks ex-wife
(Cate Blanchett) is a doctor who treats the
poor, setting her admirably apart from the
JUST 20 MINUTES ON METRO-NORTH FROM GRAND CENTRAL
GET TICKETS AND LEARN MORE ABOUT NYBGS ANNIVERSARY AT NYBG.ORG/125 studio creatures. She tells him, You never
really wanted to be totally inside our mar-
riage. Or outside it either. Late in the film,
Portman seems like the keeper (Have I
found you?), but shes already married,
and the plot takes a turn for the bleak.
Malick starts and ends with a diapha-
nously dressed blonde (whose face we
never see) in the surf while Rick says, in
voice-over, Where will I meet you? Which
way shall I go? How do I begin? I think
shes meant to be the One, although the
other women gambol in the waves, too,
often with arms upraised. An uncharitable
viewer might say Malick makes the Higher
Beach Blanket movies.
Damnation is when the pieces of your
life never come together. Thats Hollywood
for you. Malicks spectacular set piece takes
place outside a vulgar chteau amid immac-
ulately dressed industry types and still more
P H OTO G R A P H : CO U R T E S Y O F B R OA D G R E E N P I C T U R E S

willowy women. The host is played by Anto-

nio Banderas, a proud lothario who says
that you cant have just one woman: Some-
times you want strawberry, sometimes
raspberry. Ryan ONeal is a guestmeant,
perhaps, to suggest personal and profes-
sional wreckage in the wake of one of Holly-
woods most successful love stories.
The obvious message is, Go East,
young man. And maybe theres a hid-
den message: that Malick is preparing,
like Prospero, to abjure his magic. He
has told the story of humanitys fall
from grace so many times that you won-
der if his wand is starting to sputter.

118 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6

ROBERT CREIGHTON IS BORN FOR THE ROLE.

SHOWSTOPPING! Pure hallelujah moments.

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MARCH 16

RIKIKANELARIMER INASSOCIATIONWITH JAMIEdeROY JOECECALA BARBARAFREITAG JOELB.GROSSMAN EMILYCONNER PRESENTS CAGNEY STARRING ROBERTCREIGHTON
Photo: Carol Rosegg

WITH JEREMY BENTON DANETTE HOLDEN BRUCE SABATH JOSH WALDEN AND ELLEN ZOLEZZI BOOK PETER COLLEY MUSIC & LYRICS ROBERT CREIGHTON & CHRISTOPHER
McGOVERN ARRANGEMENTS CHRISTOPHER McGOVERN SCENIC DESIGN JAMES MORGAN COSTUME DESIGN MARTHA BROMELMEIER LIGHTING DESIGN MICHAEL GILLIAM SOUND
DESIGN JANIE BULLARD PROJECTION DESIGN MARK PIROLO FIGHT DIRECTORS CHRISTIAN KELLY-SORDELET & RICK SORDELET MUSIC COORDINATOR LARRY LELLI CASTING CAROL
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 B O O K S / CHRISTIAN LORENTZEN

Millennialism,
the Novel
Tony Tulathimuttes
major debut.

the quartet of protagonists in Tony

THIS #EARTHHOUR, Tulathimuttes first novel, Private Citizens,
are a set that could have been brought

SHINE A LIGHT together only by the diabolical forces that

conjure undergraduate dormitory assign-
ments. The college in question is Stanford,
ON CLIMATE ACTION. class of 2005, and the core ensemble is ripe
for a type-by-type satire of down-at-the-
Switch off your lights and switch on your social power heels elite 20-somethings in the last days of
the Bush administration. Theres Linda, a
at earthhour.org tattoo-sleeved hedonist in flight from writ-
ers block who weaves a semi-professional
path through parties and sex dungeons,
fueled and numbed by alcohol and various
powders; Henrik, a burned-out, laboratory-
bound grad student with a secret history of
manic-depressive breakdown; Will, an
Asian-American freelance coder with a porn
addiction almost as debilitating as his iden-
tity-based inferiority complex; and Cory, a
dreadlocked, Jewish, queer-curious, and
lonely liberal activist with an eating disorder
and a habit of checking
her privilege to the
point of personal stasis. PRIVATE CITIZENS
BY TONY
Tulathimutte is a slap- TULATHIMUTTE.

EARTHHOUR.ORG stick curmudgeon who

WILLIAM MORROW
PAPERBACKS.
goes hard on his char-
19 MAR 2016 | 8:30PM acters, setting in store

120 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
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 for them sufferings that run to extremes of
physical disfigurement. The novel is as
GENESIS funny as it is dark, and things get very dark,
BREYER indeed. Eyeballs are removedthe techni-
P-ORRIDGE cal term is enucleationand the hyperbolic
elements occasionally make the readers
eyes roll, but whoever said realism was
worth it for the laughs? Its tempting to call
Private Citizens an identity-politics novel,
and the idea of identity is the object of a lot
of its satire. On a deeper level, its about four
people passing through the jungle of what
they cant help but think of as piddling
dramas on the way to figuring out who the
people are beneath their personal brands.
An initial set piece places the four prin-
cipals in a car on the way to a Northern
California beach two years after gradua-
tion, at the end of the summer of 2007, the
last time well see them together, with the
exception of flashbacks, until the novels
Try to Altar Everything end. The first two-thirds proceed in pairs of
chapters that grant each character their
ON VIEW MARCH 11
THROUGH AUGUST 1, 2016
own novellas, told in close-third-person
narration. Its hard not to sense the spirit of
THE RUBIN MUSEUM OF ART Jonathan Franzen hovering over Private
150 WEST 17TH STREET Citizens, both in its structure and in
NEW YORK, NEW YORK 10011
RUBINMUSEUM.ORG Tulathimuttes way of dealing his charac-
ters bespoke moral corrections. Like Fran-
Genesis Breyer P-Orridge (British, b. 1950); Begging Bin-ESHE (detail), 2012; stainless
VWHHO EUDVV RRG OLJKW FSULQW PRXQWHG RQ SOH[L PDULJROGV  [  [  LQ FRXUWHV\ RI zen, he can at times turn his narrative into
WKH DUWLVWV DQG ,19,6,%/((;32576 SKRWRJUDSK E\ 'DYLG 'H $UPDV
a snowblower of up-to-the-minute lifestyle
detail. But in Franzens last two novels, the
information overload had the whiff of
secondhand trivia gleaned from old media.
Tulathimutte gives the impression of
having done his fieldwork, even if much of
it transpired behind a screen (as it must in
the millennial trenches). Social novelists
who place limits on their internet access
LIMITED ENGAGEMENT now do so at their own peril.
MARCH 1 - APRIL 2 ONLY! The sections in Private Citizens devoted
to Cory and Will veer into workplace and
Web 2.0 satire. Linda and Henrik live at
the economys precarious fringes and are
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW` S granted more generous backstories. The
books heart is with them; Cory and Will
more often carry it into sociological terrain.
After Corys boss dies at his deskthe first
of many more or less forgivable plot con-
trivancesshe learns hes bequeathed her
the company, a nonprofit called Socialize.
Its feel-good-about-partying business
model (We promote culture, send busi-
A comedy of sex, greed, and real estate. ness to local merchants and venues, and
route disposable income to social causes)
has turned out to be nonviable, and the
Directed by same goes for Corys love life as well as her
David Staller attempt to start a warehouse commune.
With not a little shame, she goes pleading
to her father, an eccentric, self-made mil-
lionaire provider of moving, cleaning, and
THE BECKETT THEATRE landscaping services. He directs her to
Theatre Row, 410 West 42nd Street, NYC a cultlike Silicon Valley management-
Telecharge.com - 212-239-6200 training course called Handshake Work-
tactnyc.org - gingoldgroup.com shops, which activates her capitalist man-
 agement skills without derailing the ity with automated content filtering, crowd dictionary-happy, and deficient in the
narrative for too long. Its worth noting that moderation, and aggressive brand manage- empathy departmenthave the ring of
Cory has managed to graduate from Stan- ment. In Will, Vanya is paired with, scruti- anticipated knocks at Private Citizens. A
ford in 2005 and hold down a job without nized by, and becomes the tormentor of her more generous reading might see them as
learning to use emailthe most improba- dialectical antithesis. Her feel-good public the hurdles of his own style the self-
ble aspect of her misbegotten quest for projections are matched by his multivalent conscious Tulathimutte knows hell have to
ethical purity. But its setting aside, Private self-loathing. His is the shame of the child of leap before the novels end. For his charac-
Citizens doesnt quite qualify as a Silicon immigrants and the porn addict, two vectors ters, there are pits to climb out of. Linda hits
Valley novel; even Will the coder sits out- that converge as hes holed up at home while bottom after a party where she recklessly
side its culturehes a slacker. The tech Vanyas away raising money, and he moves and unwittingly smokes heroin, then
bros overheard in the novel and glimpsed from watching to editingthere was one becomes the victim of a hit-and-run that
at parties are roundly disdained. way to get Asian men into porn: in postpro- puts her in traction and knocks out her
The riffs on Socialize are funny, but duction. The sequence is one of the novels front teeth. The accident reunites her with
Tulathimutte finds sharper, more absurd comic peaks. Anyone who objects to satiriz- Willnever a close friend and as such one
satirical fodder in the entrepreneurial aspi- ing the wheelchair-bound should refer to of the few her hedonist hustling hasnt
rations of Wills girlfriend, Vanya. She is the assassins of Infinite Jest, but a more alienatedand Henrik, who also comes to
a cunning creation and indeed may be said striking parallel between that book and Pri- Will after a hiatus from medication induces
to embody the characteristics Tulathimutte vate Citizens, though theres no telling if a breakdown. So begins the novels redemp-
is most interested in mocking. Shes a for- Tulathimutte intended it, is Linda, who, in tive downslope.
mer teenage beauty queen, and a vain one, her addled nocturnal wanderings, struck me And without sacrificing any of its antic
who maintains and enhances her looks as a cousin of Wallaces disfigured beauty humor, its characters habits of constant
with various surgeries. Shes unstoppably Madame Psychosis/Joelle Van Dyne. As self-criticism, or its recourse to brutal moral
aspirational and a determined lifecaster a stunted writer, Linda, who tries a writing comeuppance, Private Citizens resolves
bent on turning pro. Shes also paraplegic. workshop, is also the voice of Tulathimuttes into a comedy of remarriage and a tradi-
Vanyas start-up is Sable, a new kind of drive-by lit crit: No ideas, only intellectual tional arc of reckless youth adjusting to the
site for the disabled: Disability forums tend property; no avant-garde, only controversy; humbling requirements of adulthood. We
to devolve into group therapy, she tells Will. no ars poetica, only personal essays; no know millennials as bogeychildren of
Sufferers bursting to swap sympathy and major writers, only writing majors. alarmist trend pieces and the catchall hand-
pain-management tips. Its not fun. Its Well put! (Tulathimutte is a graduate of wringing of an aging commentariat.
a conversation able-bodied people cant par- the Iowa Writers Workshop.) The criti- Tulathimutte is on the front line of writers
ticipate in, and the biggest threat to main- cisms leveled at Lindas own writingthat showing that theyre also worthy heroes and
stream penetration. Sable will fight negativ- shes contemptuous of her characters, heroines of the American novel.

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Underground

continues in silence, accompanied only by

a mournful vocal track that signifies
T V / MATT ZOLLER SEITZ lament. Repeated cutaways to the planta-
tions front porch reveal that such atroci-
Freedom Riders ties are no big deal here: Toms wife,
Slaves escape Suzanna (Andrea Frankle), who doesnt
like Rosalee, looks on in malicious inter-
to the North est, while Tom continues reading his
on Underground. newspaper, pausing only to warn the
attacker, Thats enough. Shes gonna need
those hands to serve the party tonight.
If every scene in Underground were
wgn americas Underground, that bleak but single-mindedly focused, it
a drama about the Underground might earn points for rubbing audiences
Railroad in Georgia in the 1850s, is noses in historical facts that white and
FELIX 03

a troublesome and troubling series black Americans alike may prefer not to
a violent melodrama full of jeopardy and think about. There is a tradition of trans-
plot twists, built around a moral stain on forming slavery into tales of suffering and
the countrys history. Several scenes in the transcendence, represented by the likes of
pilot are unwatchable in the best way. the 1969 film Burn!, the 2013 Oscar win-
A BEAUTIFUL NIGHTS SLEEP Among the most harrowing is one in ner 12 Years a Slave, and the 1977 mini-
which Rosalee (Jurnee Smollett-Bell of series blockbuster Roots (which is being
The worlds most comfortable bed, hand made in London True Blood), a slave employed in the big remade as a History show, set to premiere
house of the Macon family plantation near in May). But series creators Misha Green
Atlanta, is getting ready to serve a politi- (Spartacus, Sons of Anarchy) and Joe
cally pivotal dinner party for her owner, Pokaski (Heroes, Daredevil) strain to
Tom Macon (Reed Diamond), when her make Underground as pop-modern and
Downtown - 54 Greene Street, NY 10013 younger brother and Toms son, who are TV-gripping as possible: a prison-break
+1 212 226 3640 playing together outside, accidentally run saga extended over ten weeks, in which an
in front of a white slave driver and cause intrepid band of slaves, free men, and
him to stop and spill his goods onto the abolitionists works to break the chains of
Uptown - 223 East 59th Street, NY 10022
dirt. The slave driver hauls out a whip and forced labor and help the oppressed
P H OTO G R A P H : CO U R T E S Y O F WG N

Open April 2016 prepares to lash Rosalees brother; Rosalee escape to the North.
rushes out from the big house and begs The ensemble cast includes Renwick
him to lash her instead, and he does, Scott as Henry, a smart and rebellious
striking her repeatedly on the fore- teenage slave; Mykelti William-
savoirbeds.com arm and tearing bloody strips off son as the field hand Moses, who
her skin. The whips cracks and UNDERGROUND
WGN AMERICA.
has to decide if he really believes
Rosalees screams are piercing. WEDNESDAYS. that slavery is Gods will; Marc
10 P.M.
The scene goes on and on until the Blucas as John Hawkes, an aboli-
sound drops out and the horror tionist whos first seen giving an
London Paris New York Shanghai
 anti-slavery speech on courthouse steps of a map that reveals geographical sign- editing pulverizes clearly mapped-out
to an audience of none; Jessica de Gouw posts leading to freedom (a touch of J. J. action into mirror shards, and fragments
as Johns infertile wife, Elizabeth, whos Abrams). And it leans on storytelling and of contemporary rock and hip-hop bubble
renovating their house by randomly filmmaking techniques that seem calcu- up on the soundtrack at odd moments.
bashing holes in the walls; Christopher lated to enforce a feeling of immediacy While the scripts set up and execute vari-
Meloni as August Pullman, a kind-eyed and modernity but that instead make ous clever twists, they arent clever
tough guy who, to put it mildly, is not Underground play like a visually clichd enough to allay concerns that the show is
what he seems; and Alano Miller as Cato, blockbuster adventure film. The pilots trying so hard to reassure viewers that
a house slave with a half-burned face who opening sequence of the blacksmith Noah they arent being force-fed a meal of high-
seems loyal to the master and ominously (Aldis Hodge of TNTs Leverage) making fiber historical fiction that its overcom-
warns others that if they succeed in orga- an escape attempt gets Underground off pensating with eye candy. Underground
nizing a mass escape, its gonna be the on the wrong foot, as director Anthony will deservedly spark think pieces asking
slaves left behind who pay the price. Hemingway chops Noahs flight from a how grim and austere a story of slavery
There isnt a bad performance in the slave catcher into Cuisinart bits that frac- has to be, and whether imbuing it with
main cast, and most are exemplary, com- ture geography, timing nearly every edit the trappings of a weekly potboiler such
mitting to every moment, including the to the rhythm of staccato breathing on the as Lost, Prison Break, or Quantico risks
more problematic ones, and filling in the sequences pop soundtrack. As music- turning one of the great American shames
margins with thoughtful physical details, video styling, its bravura. But unfortu- into just another source of entertainment.
such as Millers tendency to have Cato nately, it aestheticizes Noahs suffering Its not a new question, though: Its asked
address other characters by leading with and fear and puts us at a distance from it, every time a Hollywood film or TV pro-
the non-scarred side of his face, or the when what we need at that early juncture gram tries to combine dire history with
way Meloni uses Clint Eastwoodlike, all- is to be completely immersed in it and feel entertainment values without allowing
American White Tough Guy body lan- it from the inside. the second to compromise the first. Only
guage and intonations to obscure the The first few episodes of Underground, the relative paucity of mainstream stories
characters motivations. which detail the expansion of the Under- about slavery, compared to stories of the
But theyre employed on a series that is ground Railroad into Macon territory, Holocaust, infantry combat, and Titanic-
animated by noble intentions but that have a bit of an American Horror Story style disasters, makes Undergrounds
nonetheless (unintentionally, surely) triv- feeling; that would be exactly the right efforts in that direction feel particularly
ializes one of the nations great original approach if this were American Horror unstable and irksome. Its a gripping
sins by treating it as a source of intrigue Story: Slavery, but it doesnt feel right for series but far from a great one, and there
and thrills. The show builds its main plot a bona fide American horror story. The are bound to be more like it; in a round-
around the Indiana Jonesstyle decoding camera swoops and dives and tilts, the about way, this is progress.

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 PARTY LINES
Edited by Jennifer Vineyard

88TH ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS

DOLBY THEATRE AT HOLLYWOOD & HIGHLAND CENTER,
HOLLYWOOD. FEBRUARY 28.

I ate about ten Girl Scout Im gonna have to get

cookies in the audience, a Tony to get an EGOT, arent
the coconut-y ones. I didnt I? Im giggling as I say this,
pay for them, though. because its a terrible
Louis C.K. thing to want. Like, surely I am up for a role in
Chrissy John Ive got enough prizes! The Revenant 2. Its going to
Teigen Legend Kate Winslet be a grueling shoot, but it
is going to be so much
easier for hair and makeup
if they just cast me.
Hamish Linklater

Olivia Brie
Munn Larson
Leonardo
DiCaprio I assure you I will not
be here next year.
Time for a long vacation.
Alejandro Gonzlez Irritu
Lady
Gaga

Taylor
Kinney
Alicia
Vikander

TANGENT VANITY FAIR OSCAR PARTY

WALLIS ANNENBERG CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS,
For a film I did in Chile called BEVERLY HILLS. FEBRUARY 28.
Magic Magic, I put wiener-dogs
in my pocket to get a dog to Zac Posen made this dress
fake-hump me. We also had to
cover me in female-dog smells,
custom just for me. No
so I had pheromones all big deal. Its just so loose.
over my tights. But it worked. Who needs to breathe?
Juno Temple Sarah Silverman Sarah
Charlize Silverman
Theron

P H OTO G R A P H S : L E G E N D A N D T E I G E N CO U R T E S Y O F A B C
Wilmer
Kate Kumail Valderrama
Nanjiani Jennifer Demi
McKinnon Lawrence Lovato
Ben
Affleck

Juno
Lorde
Temple
Freida
Pinto
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Elba

Jessica
Marielle
Chastain Dave Larry
Heller
Chappelle David

31ST ANNUAL FILM INDEPENDENT SPIRIT AWARDS

SANTA MONICA BEACH. FEBRUARY 27..

126 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 Photographs by Patrick McMullan

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 13.

1.
23.
The fact that John Ridleys anthology series is still
For full listings 7. 17.
so under the radar is the real crime; it covers sex-
of movies, ual violence, gun violence, racism, classism, par-
theater, music, enting, homophobia, and on and on, all with a
restaurants, and

Do
sense of brutal normalcy and reality, and with a
much more, see style thats both deeply unsettling and artistically
nymag.com/agenda. taut. margaret lyons

T h e C U LT U R E PA G E S NEW MUSIC

To 7. See De Materie
Making the most of the vast Drill Hall.
Park Avenue Armory, March 22 through 30.
In the 1980s, the Dutch composer Louis Andries-
sen wrote a very loud chord. Then he repeated it,
faster and faster 144 times. Thats the high-
minded punk introduction to his theatrical-
orchestral extravaganza, which sweeps across
much of Western-music history. The work gets its
first U.S. staging by the composer and director
Heiner Goebbels. justin davidson
POP

8. Listen to Post Pop

Depression
Iggy Pop wont get you down.
Twenty-five
Loma Vista, March 18.
P H OTO G R A P H S : PAT R I C K M C M U L L A N ( T I N A S H E ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F N E T F L I X ( P E E W E E ) ; H E L E N M AY B A N K S ( H A N G M E N ) ; WO N G E B E R G M A N N ( D E M AT E R I E )

things to see,
hear, watch, I cant help but hear David Bowie in Gardenia,
and read. the jauntily suave new single from his Berlin pal,
Iggy Pop. But of course, there exists nobody on
MARCH 923 Earth quite like Iggy Pop, and his great new album
is further proof. Collaborator Josh Hommes bar-
POP cast is packed: Miranda Richardson, Charles room-brawl guitars blend seamlessly with Pops

1. See Tinashe
Dance, Noah Taylor, Anna Maxwell Martin, Toby manic spoken-word preaching, especially during
Stephens, and more. matt zoller seitz the closing number, Paraguay. l.z.
And expect to hear hot new tracks. THEATER BOOKS

4. See Who Tells

Webster Hall, March 12.
We have Tinashe to thank for one of the best singles 9. & 10. Read, Then Hear
of 2014, the slinky, DJ Mustardproduced club jam
2 On. Her vaporous vocals were a perfect fit for
Their Stories? Dana Spiotta
History has its eyes on you. Forthcoming on her fourth novel.
radio R&Bs move toward atmospheric production,
as the songs on her aptly titled record Aquarius The Greene Space, March 14. Scribner; McNally Jackson, March 15.
gave the impression they were liquefying before our This seasons final Encores! Unscripted evening Dana Spiottas Innocents and Others is ostensibly
very ears. Her next album, Joyride, is set for later anticipates the upcoming multiethnic Encores! about a documentary filmmaker choosing a deeply
this year; no doubt shell perform some of that ma- production of 1776, with a discussion of political sympathetic con artist as her subject. But it says
terial at this show. lindsay zoladz musicals from Of Thee I Sing to Hamilton. Javier much more about art, conversation, alienation,
MOVIES Muoz (Hamiltons alterna-Hamilton) and technology, and the senses of sight and soundall
Michael Friedman (Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson those DeLillo nodes, connected to a beating heart.
2. See A Brighter composer) are on the panel; Encores! artistic direc- Shell chat with novelist Joshua Ferris about her
tor Jack Viertel hosts. jesse green deceptively compact book. boris kachka
Summer Day ART ART
Four hours well spent.
BAM Rose Cinemas, March 11 through 14. 5. See We Need to 11. See Nasreen Mohamedi
Experience Taiwanese director Edward Yangs
expansive 1991 masterpiece on the big screen be-
Wake Up Cause Thats May she remain in the canon.
Met Breuer, opens March 18.
fore its long-awaited Criterion Blu-ray release
especially since Yang (who died in 2007 at 59) has
What Time It Is Revel in the work of a modern Indian woman artist
Glenn Ligon sounds an alarm. few Westerners have heard of. Nasreen Mohame-
an Altman-like distaste for TV-friendly close-ups.
Luhring Augustine Bushwick, through April 17. dis paintings, drawings, photographswith their
Its an intricate, intersecting, tragic saga of children
Multiple screens illuminate a dark gallery with repetitive lines, serial structures, flat spaces open-
left adrift who form street gangs for safetycom-
clips of Richard Pryors electric Live on the Sunset ing to transcendental contemplation of pure pat-
plete with a movie-within-a-movie to add multiple,
Strip. The crimson-colored suit and gorgeous tern embedded in strong formgive us a new old
melancholic ironies. david edelstein
hands dance, flitting from screen to screen, with no master of Minimalism and post-Minimalism. j.s.
TV
sound. We behold a man who recently set himself MOVIES
3. Watch And Then on fire, looks combustible in his anger and drive,
and seems on the edge of a gravity that will pull 12. Watch Short Term 12
There Were None him in and crush him alive. Silent White America
is the invisible Kryptonite. jerry saltz
Snapshot of a future star.
Island intrigue! On Amazon and iTunes.
Lifetime, March 13 at 8 p.m and March 14 at 9 p.m. TV
Brie Larsons Oscar-winning turn in Room may
Hothouse mystery queen Agatha Christie gets epic 6. Watch American Crime have seemed like a shot out of the darkness, but
shed already delivered an award-worthy perfor-
treatment in this two-part adaptation set in 1939
A stunning second season. mance two years earlier. In this quietly heartbreak-
off Englands Devon coast. A group of strangers has
been lured here, only to be offed one by one, and the ABC, Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ing film, Larsons devastating portrayal of Gracea

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 131
 young counselor at a kids group home whos
perhaps as lost as her young chargesis a study in
delicacy and toughness, much like Rooms Ma.
TV

13. Watch
Pee-wees Big Holiday
A loner and a rebel, on the road.
Netflix, March 18.
One of the more unexpected and welcome devel-
opments in pop culture has been the re-embrace
of Pee-wee Herman creator Paul Reubens. His
beloved character returns in this feature, in
which Pee-wee decides to leave the small town
of Fairville for his first-ever vacation (to New
York City!), but gets carjacked. When our hero
tries to finish his journey by a variety of trans-
portation methods, the story basically turns into
Planes, Trains and Automobiles and Pee-wee.
m.z.s.
BOOKS/ART

14. See Warhol by the Book

Judge him by his covers.
The Morgan Library & Museum, through May 15.
No soup cans here: instead, Andys lesser-known,
but no less extensive, body of book work
drawings, screen prints, childrens books, rare
dust jackets, among over 130 literary objects.
Peep at imaginative illustrations of pink putty,
smiling strawberries, witty scrawled captions,
many pre-Pop art. If only hed finished more
books, the world might have known characters
like Leroy, a Mexican jumping bean who longs
for something more from life.
OPERA

ADVERTISEMENT
15. See Orlando
One of the best of the Baroque.
Carnegie Hall, March 13.
Handels sparkling opera, with its Roman-candle
arias, love-mad warrior, and Arcadian wilderness,
is always an exciting show. Conductor Harry Bicket
has the scores bright sun and midnight shadows at
his fingertips, and he leads his own ensemble, the
English Concert, with a cast featuring the superb
countertenor Iestyn Davies and the irresistible
Limited-edition, stylish New Era wool Sasha Cooke. j.d.
snapback hats are now available. THEATER

16. See Starting Here,

Order your Starting Now
NEW YORK
Itll be swell, itll be great!

HAT
York Theatre Co. at St. Peters, March 12 through 20.
Before Richard Maltby Jr. and David Shire re-
focused their talents (Maltby as a director, Shire as
a film composer), they wrote a bunch of stage
musicals together that didnt get produced. This
terrific 1976 revue, which compiles the best of the
songs from those shows, gets a brief return engage-
ment thanks to the Musicals in Mufti series. j.g.
POP
at nymag.com/nyhat
while supplies last. 17. Listen to Acid Rap
Get to know Chance the Rapper.
Self-released.

ORDER NOW! On Kanye Wests new The Life of Pablo, the 22-year-
old Chicago MC Chance the Rapper steals the show
with a virtuosic verse on Ultralight Beam. So if

132 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
youre unfamiliar with Chance, this is the perfect
time to get acquainted, starting with his mixtape,
which showcases his whipsmart wordplay and the
warm, hard-won optimism with which he paints
vivid pictures of his embattled hometown. l.z.
TV

18. Watch Recovery Road

Not the same old teen schlock.
Freeform, Mondays at 9 p.m.
Like its lead-in The Fosters, Recovery Road, based
on a YA novel, is better than it has to be. Jessica Sula
stars as a teen confronting her substance-abuse
problems in a sober-living house. If its occasionally
earnest, the savvy storytelling keeps it afloat. m.l.

SEE THIS NOW:

OLD HATS
Jesse Green on a clowning show
adults will actually enjoy.

This delightful vaudeville, created and performed by

Bill Irwin and David Shiner and directed with a light
touch by Tina Landau, uses the themes of classic
clowningpoverty, incompetence, heartbreak, decay
to validate and deepen its humor. In one bit, called The
Hobo, Shiner encounters a series of increasingly absurd
sadnesses; the harder he cries, the harder we laugh.
Likewise, the deadly seriousness of Irwins attempts, in
The Waiter, to serve a helping of spaghetti from a
sticky pot is what makes his failures hilarious. The
sketches are mostly unchanged from the version that
played a sold-out run in 2013, except to the extent that
they are automatically altered by the serendipity of
audience participation, of which theres a lot. Between
the sketches, though, we now get musical interludes
from singer-songwriter Shaina Taub, gamely taking
Van Dyck

over the duties of Nellie McKay from the earlier run.

Taub is perhaps an even better match for Irwin and
Shiner, offering ironic reflections on the same dark
themes but with bubbly melodies and a cheerful four- The Anatomy of Portraiture
man band. Everyone is gonna die, so lighten up, goes
one ditty. If only these clowns, or we clowns, could take On view through June 5
the advice!
At the Pershing Square Signature Center through April 3;
for Greens full review, visit Vulture.com.

ART

19. See Open Plan

An 18,200-square-foot artists playground.
SELECTED SHORTS
Whitney Museum of American Art, through May 14
(for full schedule, go to whitney.org). READER, I MARRIED HIM:
This bold, five-part cycle of exhibitions allows art- A TRIBUTE TO JANE EYRE
ists to do whatever they want with the whole fifth
floor of the Whitney. First up, supersmart art pro- MARCH 16 | 7:30PM
vocateur Andrea Fraser, who works with audio With Tracy Chevalier, Audrey
recorded at a correctional facility; next, Lucy Niffenegger, Namwali Serpell,
Dodds shamanic paintings and elixirs will be set and more
up willy-nilly; then sculptor Michael Heizer; fol-
lowed by genius pianist Cecil Taylor. A museum THALIA BOOK CLUB
pushing this hard is beautiful to behold. j.s.
EDNA OBRIENS
CLASSICAL MUSIC
THE LITTLE RED CHAIRS
20. Hear MARCH 30 | 7:30PM
Turangalla-symphonie The Frick Collection Edna OBrien in conversation
Sound the drums. 1 East 70th Street, NYC 212-288-0700 frick.org
with Colum McCann
David Geffen Hall, March 10 through 12.
95 TH
& B R OA D WAY
Explosive, colorful, fierce, opulent, and reverent, A nthony van Dyck (15991641), Mary, Lady van Dyck,
ne Ruthven, ca. 1640, oil on canvas, Museo Nacional del
Messiaens 75-minute masterpiece sounds as Prado. The exhibition is supported by an indemnity from
the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities.

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 133
 sublimely weird today as it did in 1948. Esa-
Pekka Salonen conducts the New York Philhar-
monic, with pianist Yuja Wang and the orches-
tras SEAL-level percussion team. j.d.
MOVIES

21. See New Directors/

New Films
Emerging, excellent moviemakers.
Film Society of Lincoln Center and MoMA,
March 16 through 27.
Excitement is building for this annual festival,
opening with breakout Sundance hit Under the
Shadow, a political horror story in which
a mother and daughter grapple with a malevo-
lent spirit at the end of the Iran-Iraq War, and
closing with Cameraperson, Kristen Johnsons
self-portrait of the artist as a battle-scarred
globe-trotter. In between, Weinera documen-
tary of Anthonys misbegotten, borderline-ab-
surdist run for mayorsounds like a particularly
special howl. d.e.
ART

22. See Life Is Elsewhere

Magical makings.
Turn Gallery, through April 10.
Since 2015, Annika Peterson has curated one fan-
tastic, refreshing show after another; her latest
showcases Swedish-born Carl Boutard, whose col-
orful paper-and-cardboard sculptures are whimsi-
cal in their references to cellular compositions.
THEATER/FILM

23. Watch Hangmen

Bring an arm to squeeze.
Skirball Center for the Performing Arts, March 16.
Surely a new London hit by Martin McDonagh
will get here eventually. But if you cant wait to
see his macabre thriller about one of Englands
last executioners, National Theatre Live gives
you the chance to catch it in broadcast. j.g.
POP

24. See Dr. Dog

and Hop Along
Get there early.
Terminal 5, March 19.
Dr. Dog has been one of Phillys most consistent
pop-rock bands, but the main event here is the
opener, Hop Along. Frances Quinlan has one of
the most powerful voices out thereas sweet as
SOLUTION TO LAST ISSUES PUZZLE it is corrosiveand to hear it in a venue as large
J I G A D D E D L I N T S L O O P as T5 will be a rare treat. l.z.
A D A T E M P O O P R A H T E R S E CLASSICAL MUSIC
M E L L I V I N G I N T H E RE P A S T
B A L S
I
A
S I S
C A
T
R
I
L
L D A
S C
O
A
T
P
I
U
S
L A S
25. Hear NYFOS
G
E
O
R
I N
M A
T O A R E
T R E
T A
M
I L S P
C L E A
I
N
N
H
R
E
E
X
P
A at Home
R E S T R A I N E D P E A S G L A M U P A domestic art.
M O O R E S O R E Y S L E R O D E
Merkin Concert Hall, March 15.
R A D S I G L O O C L E A R E R
R A E R E P R O O F R E A D E R S D S In the 19th century, songs were regularly per-
A L T O O N A S T A L L G I B E formed at parties, often about fondly remem-
S K I P S R O Z T I L L N A C R E bered houses, the innocence of the nursery, and,
C A R P E T R E D R E S S I N G R O O M of course, bedroom intrigues. The New York
A L E S R A B B I S E M O E D A M Festival of Song fields five young singers and a
L I D N I N E R E V O L T B A T T E R Y
small army of composers here to portray the de-
P U P A A M P L E S H U T
M A L A M U T E I L S A B A K E R
lights and miseries of home life. j.d.
A N Y R E P O R T I N A S T O R M I D A
I N F E R L A I N G O M A H A W I N
134 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 M E T R O E S P N N O T O N I T T
 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

NEW YORKS

Women
Leaders
Law in the
2016

S U L L I VA N , PA PA I N , B L O C K , M C G R AT H , & C A N N AV O

Standing from Left: Deanne M. Caputo, Elizabeth Montesano, Liza A. Milgrim, Eleni Cofnas
Seated from left: Marie Ng, Mary Anne Walling
SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016

New York Women Leaders In The Law

N
ew Yorks female attorneys are that reduced hours and flexible schedules still us. Ive only argued against another woman once.
finding more support for work-life present a barrier to promotion, but thats changing. Intimidation by male peers can be one of the
balance and greater opportunities Just 14 percent of 64 firms that responded to the challenges. But its also a blessing. Im the only
to shatter glass ceilings that seemed question said they dont permit women to advance woman in the courtroom, and theyre used to trying
impenetrable just a generation before. But they to equity partner if they work less than full-time. cases against men.
continue to face real obstacles to pay parity,
Its no wonder that many women attorneys in Wickman confirms that statistics about the
advancement in law firms, and representation
New York and across the nation are defining poor representation of female trial attorneys
in key leadership roles, according to female
success for themselves by mapping their own route are 100 percent true. Yet the overall landscape
attorneys and the National Association of
to advancement. for women in the legal profession is changing
Women Lawyers ninth annual survey.
for the good, especially as women take control
Victoria Wickman, a sole practitioner at the
Like changes in the law itself, shifts from the of their futures and set their own expectations
Law Offices of Victoria Wickman in Manhattan
professions status quo often reflect larger societal for the industry.
and mother of three young children, is one of these
shifts, explains matrimonial and family law
pioneers. Wickman, who specializes in personal I think things are better than the statistics
attorney Sari M. Friedman, 59, of Friedman &
injury and medical malpractice law, chose flexibility seem to indicate, Wickman says. From when I
Friedman, Attorneys at Law.
when she founded her practice in 2009. first started practicing law in 2001 until now, Ive
When I was starting in law, society is not seen a dramatic change in the help females
Why am I a solo practitioner? Because Im a
where it is now, says Friedman. Her daughter, attorneys get in caring for their families.
mom, and I wanted a family. I didnt want to have
Andrea, is a partner in the firm, which runs offices
to answer to anyone when my kids are sick, The community is adapting with greater
in Long Island and Manhattan. Society changes
explains the 39-year-old trial attorney, who also options for reasonable leave, flexible schedules,
first; the law changes afterward.
co-chairs the New York State Trial Lawyers Young and offices with daycare, she says.
Nationally, the NAWLs Current Status of Lawyer Network. Her work is both demanding
Improvements in pay parity and representation
Women In Law survey reveals a longstanding and rewarding. And though shes a minority in
in key industry roles and leadership organizations
trend: The number of women equity partners in New York courtrooms, she views her independence
will continue to gain momentum, too.My advice
law firms has barely increased in the past 10 years, as a strength.
to New Yorks next generation of women attorneys
according to the 2015 report.
Its not only being a female attorney, would be that you can have everything,Wickman
Reports from other organizations echo the Wickman says. Its being a female trial attorney. says. The family, the career, the happiness. Every
ongoing challenges and highlight the fact that Its really rare, and there still arent that many of day is going to get easier and easier.
status disparity between the sexes remains a
significant challenge for women.
In its 2014 installment of A Current Glance

Schlissel Ostrow
at Women in the Law, the American Bar
Association found women who fill the roles of
associates and summer associates accounting for
44% and 45.3%, respectively. Women occupying Karabatos, PLLC
higher-level positions numbered in the single digit
per percentages, as they did in 2013.
Limitations for women within male-run firms Elena Karabatos is a partner at the matrimonial
arent new. Friedman went into private practice in boutique Schlissel Ostrow Karabatos, PLLC, among
1984 to meet a need she saw in the community the most highly regarded firms in the New York
for matrimonial and family law. She currently metropolitan area. She is President of the New York
serves as general counsel for the Fathers Rights
Association of New York State and Long Island, Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial
and is the author of numerous articles on Lawyers. She is a member of the Attorney for the
matrimonial and family law issues. ELENA Children Advisory Committee for the 10th Judicial
It was a challenge, she says of establishing District and a member of the Matrimonial Practice
KARABATOS
her own practice. But her work, commitment to Advisory and Rules Committee for the New York State
the community, and focus on family, helped her Office of Court Administration. She has been selected
chart a course for other female attorneys in the to both Best Lawyers and Super Lawyers.
state. More than 30 years after beginning her
career, Friedman is counted as one of New Yorks Elena is the treasurer of the Nassau County Bar
Legal Leaders Top Rated Lawyers in 2015 and
2016. She was also named by The American Association (NCBA). She was chair of the NCBAs
Academy of Trial Attorneys as one of the Premier Matrimonial Law Committee (2009 2011) for which
200 Garden City Plaza,
100 Trial Attorneys in New York State in 2015. she received the 2010 2011 NCBA Directors Award
Garden City, NY 11530
Add to that the ability to practice the profession for Outstanding Service as Chair. She has been
she loves alongside her daughter Andrea.Its very PH: 516.877.8000
selected by Long Island Business News as a member
rewarding to have her not only as my daughter FX: 516.294.3188
but as my partner. of the 2015 class of Top 50 Most Influential Women
SOKLAW.com In Business.
That kind of power has been hard to come by,
for many women. The 2015 NAWL survey found

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NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

FROMMER LAWRENCE & HAUG LLP

MORE THAN JUST IP

Laura A. Chubb Elizabeth J. Murphy

Frommer Lawrence & Haug LLP, a leading national intellectual Dr. Kuzmich sums up the special contribution that FLHs female
property law rm with headquarters in New York and an ofce lawyers make to the rm and its clients: The women attorneys at
in Washington, D.C., recognizes that a noteworthy component FLH are unique in that not only are they experts in the practice of
of its success is its team of extraordinary women attorneys. intellectual property law, but they also have trainingand in many
Accordingly, FLH is excited to announce the election of two new cases practical experiencein a diverse range of scientic disciplines.
female partners: Laura Chubb and Elizabeth Murphy. FLH proudly supports the professional development of its
Ms. Chubb is a registered patent attorney who focuses women attorneys as well as their involvement in the rms
her practice on patent and trademark litigation involving management and in the legal community, as evidenced by its
software, medical devices, food products, consumer goods, participation in and leading sponsorship of organizations such as
and mechanical devices. With experience in trade secret and the National Association for Women Lawyers.
licensing litigation, patent and intellectual property licensing, ABOUT THE FIRM
and disputes related to such agreements, she advises clients on
developing, enforcing, and maintaining patent and trademark All of FLHs attorneys and scientic advisors have the necessary
rights in the U.S. and internationally. advanced degrees, technical prowess, and legal experience
to not only recognize and understand each clients unique
Ms. Murphys expertise lies in pharmaceutical litigation, where
business goals but also to set a realistic and effective strategy to
she has helped the rm achieve key victories in numerous cases
achieve the desired results. Our practice areas include Antitrust,
for innovator clients. Her particular interests lie in the intersection
Appellate, FDA/Regulatory, Corporate Transactions & Due
of science, technology, and law and how these three areas
Diligence, IPR & Post-Grant Review, ITC Practice, Life Sciences &
inuence the evolution of the pharmaceutical industry.
Biosimilars, Litigation, Patent Prosecution, Trademarks & Unfair
Ms. Chubb and Ms. Murphy join two women partners Competition.
who currently lead FLH practice groups. Dr. Sandra Kuzmich
heads the rms life sciences practice and is leading member
of the rms partnership. She also sits on the Federal Circuit
FROMMER LAWRENCE & HAUG LLP,
Bar Associations International Series Committee and, most
importantly, serves as a mentor to the rms women associates. NEW YORK WASHINGTON, DC
Marilyn Matthes Brogan heads the trademark group and 745 Fifth Avenue 1667 K Street NW, Suite 500
dedicates her time to recruiting new talent. She is an active New York, NY 10151 Washington, DC 20006
PH: 212.588.0800 PH: 202.292.1530
member in the International Trademark Association.

3 N E W Y OR KS WOME N LE A DERS IN T HE LAW 2016 | A LM FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT NYMAG.COM/NYMAG/ADVERTORIAL/LEADERS

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016

FRIEDMAN & FRIEDMAN,

Photo by Deidre Schoo

ATTORNEYS AT LAW
CHILD CUSTODY, DIVORCE,
FAMILY, FATHERS RIGHTS

For 35 years, Sari Friedman has remained

at the forefront of matrimonial and family law
thanks to her knowledge and experience in
the eld and her leadership on novel divorce
matters. In particular, Friedman is known as
a erce proponent of equal rights for both
genders in the areas of child custody and
economic parity and recognition.
With regard to custody and parenting,
Friedman has long advocated for fathers
rights, serving as general counsel of the
Fathers Rights Association of New York State
and Long Island for the past 25 years. She has
also represented a vast number of women
LEGAL LEADERS
who appreciate her rms zealous advocacy
and personalized approach. And recently, she From Left: Sari M. Friedman and Andrea B. Friedman
has been handling emerging custody issues
relating to same-sex divorce. Friedman is joined as a partner at the rm by her
Reecting her inuence in the bar, Friedman
has been AV Preeminent rated by Martindale- daughter Andrea, who has built her own reputation
Hubbell, and included in New York Metro for aggressive yet compassionate advocacy. In 2014, SARI M. FRIEDMAN
Super Lawyers, Whos Who in American Law, Andrea was named to the Long Island Business News
Rue Ratings Best Attorneys of America, National Ones to Watch in Law list, and recently she was selected 666 OLD COUNTRY RD., SUITE 704,
Advocates Top 100 Lawyers (Matrimonial & along with Friedman as a Top Attorney in North America GARDEN CITY, NY 11530 | PH: 516.688.0088
Family Law), and New Yorks Women Leaders in
the Law section. In 2012, she also received the by Whos Who. Andrea is a quick study, Friedman MANHATTAN OFFICE: 515 MADISON AVE.,
Long Island Business News Leadership in notes, and that allows her to go toe-to-toe with 40TH FLOOR, NEW YORK, NY 10022
Law Award. attorneys who have been practicing for much longer. PH: 212.722.6167 | WWW.SARILAW.COM

ELLEN B. HOLTZMAN
A Leader in Matrimonial and Family Law
Meet Ellen Holtzman, known and respected as one of New Yorks leading matrimonial
trial attorneys. With more than 30 years experience in helping both men and women
navigate the rocky waters of divorce and child custody disputes, Ellen Holtzman has
achieved a remarkable record of results in high-conict cases. In addition to favorable
results in the lower courts, Ellen and her associate, Meryl Neuren, are also known for
their strength and expertise in appellate matters. The rm has argued cases in a broad
spectrum of family law and matrimonial matters that have set legal precedents in the
State of New York. Ellen is also a sought-after speaker at symposia on some of the
most important issues in family law today, particularly issues involving child custody.

Most divorce and custody cases are settled outside the courtroom, and Ellens reputation as an attorney who is able
to achieve her clients goals through favorable settlement negotiations attracts women and men from throughout the
metro area. At the negotiating table, she has helped to resolve many disputes involving high asset marital property
distribution, including family businesses, to the clients benet, as well as many challenging child custody issues.

The Law Ofce of Ellen Holtzman handles the full range of matrimonial and family law matters. Ellen and her caring,
responsive team provide close personal assistance as problems arise, and are deeply committed to resolving each
clients problems. Ellen is a past president of the Womens Bar Association of the State of New York and currently serves
the people of New York as a Commissioner on the New York State Legislative Ethics Commission.

ELLEN B. HOLTZMAN 101 North Middletown Road, Nanuet, NY 10954 845-627-0127 rocklandfamilylaw.com

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NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

SULLIVAN PAPAIN BLOCK MCGRATH & CANNAVO P.C.

MOTOR VEHICLE ACCIDENTS, PERSONAL INJURY, CONSTRUCTION AND WORK
SITE ACCIDENTS, MEDICAL MALPRACTICE

Photo by Statia Grossman

Seated left to right: Christopher T. McGrath, Eleni Cofnas, Michael N. Block, Robert G. Sullivan, Nicholas Papain, Marie Ng, Vito A. Cannavo
Standing left to right: Elizabeth Montesano, Eric K. Schwarz, Frank V. Floriani, Thomas J. McManus, Mary Anne Walling, Brian J. Shoot,
John F. Nash, Albert B. Aquila, Hugh M. Turk, David J. Dean, Liza A. Milgrim, Deanne M. Caputo

Since its founding more than 80 years ago, Eleni Cofnas, a senior partner of the rm, in analyzing medical records, deposing
Sullivan Papain Block McGrath & Cannavo has been with Sullivan Papain for her entire doctors, handling medical malpractice
P.C. has continued to attract, retain, and 30-year legal career and oversees the rms cases, and preparing them for trial.
develop some of New Yorks most skilled medical malpractice department. Her results Deanne M. Caputo started at the rm
personal injury attorneys, building a staff of include the largest verdict in New York for 13 years ago while still in law school. Now
more than 40 dedicated and highly qualied the failure to diagnose breast cancer. As a married with two children, she handles a
lawyers. leading authority in her eld, Eleni, who is
variety of cases in the general negligence
married with a child, is often asked to lecture
Over the last 12 years, the rm has eld, including motor vehicle accidents,
on medical malpractice issues.
recovered more than $2 billion for construction cases, and other serious injury
individuals who have suffered serious In the 27 years that Marie Ng has been and wrongful death matters. Deanne is
injuries or lost loved ones as a result of the with the rm, she has become widely known for her strong negotiation skills and
wrongdoing of others. The rm has also recognized for her talents in the areas of her expertise in preparing cases for trial.
municipal liability and premises hazards.
been retained on complex matters involving
Marie, a senior supervising partner of the Liza A. Milgrim, who is married and
mass disasters and public health issues: expecting her second child in March, has
rms general negligence department,
Sullivan Papain was selected by the State of been with the rm for over a decade,
oversees and trains the rms younger
New York to help in its litigation against the associates while securing seven and eight- during which time she has obtained seven-
major tobacco companies, which resulted in gure recoveries for her clients in cases as gure recoveries in cases ranging from
a historic $25 billion recovery for the state. varied as construction site, bus, and subway motor vehicle accidents to general liability
The rm has been, and continues to be, at accidents and explosions. matters. As a bilingual attorney, Liza is able
the forefront of representing victims of the to assist Spanish-speaking clients and also
Elizabeth Montesano joined the rm in serves as a member of the Puerto Rican Bar
9/11 WTC Terrorist Attack, having obtained,
2002 and focuses her practice entirely on Association.
to date, more than $690 million in awards
medical malpractice. She often handles
from the Victim Compensation Fund for Were able to provide clients with a wide
cases involving babies who suffered brain
rst responders and rescue and recovery damage at birth or people who lost loved range of talent and experience, particularly
workersincluding many reghtersand ones due to a delayed cancer diagnosis. at the partner level, observes Sullivan.
their families. As a wife and mother of two, she is both And thats important, because it ensures
We are proud of our work ethic. Every sensitive to these families needs and a that our clients receive the undivided
single partner contributes dedicated hours, erce advocate for their causes. attention of a lawyer who is committed to
says senior partner Robert G. Sullivan. making a difference in their lives.
Mary Anne Walling has practiced at
Nevertheless, we respect our lawyers the rm since 2001, and she is a vital
family lives. That balance, work and home, is SULLIVAN PAPAIN BLOCK MCGRATH &
member of the rms medical malpractice CANNAVO P.C.
one of the reasons why many of our female department due to both her legal expertise 120 Broadway, 18th Floor
partners started with the rm early in their and her background as a registered nurse. New York, NY 10271
professional careers and have continued to Indeed, Marys medical nursing experience ph: 212.732.9000
excel throughout the years. has proved to be a tremendous asset www.triallaw1.com

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 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

JUDITH A. LIVINGSTON
KRAMER, DILLOF, LIVINGSTON & MOORE 217 Broadway
New York, NY 10007
KDLM.com PH: (212) 267-4177 FX: (212) 233-8525

ivingston is one of the most successful

spected trial attorneys in America.
s won 32 jury trials with verdicts
han $1 millionmore than any other
nand settled cases on behalf of her
totaling nearly $1 billion.

ton has been named to every major

top attorneys for more than 20 years.
s the rst woman and youngest person
amed to the prestigious Inner Circle of
atesthe nations top 100 trial lawyers.

5, Livingston was awarded an honorary

by Fordham University School of
2014, she received the Presidential
from Hofstra University in recognition
outstanding career achievements
ofessional leadership, along with the
m Founders Awardthe universitys
t honor. It recognizes individuals
personal and professional lives reflect
hest aspirations, and are dedicated to
and learning in the service of others.
NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

TRAUB LIEBERMAN STRAUS &

Photo by Statia Grossman

SHREWSBERRY LLP
INSURANCE COVERAGE LITIGATION, PROFESSIONAL
LIABILITY, PRODUCTS LIABILITY AND GENERAL LIABILITY

With 2016 marking its 20th anniversary, Our depth ensures that we can
Traub Lieberman Straus & Shrewsberry respond quickly and comprehensively
LLP celebrates not only its growth from to our clients needs, notes Lisa
a four-lawyer rm into an international Shrewsberry, who for the past three
presence in the insurance industry, but years has been named by Super
also the female leadership that got the Lawyers as a top 25 Westchester
rm there. County lawyer. It also means that
clients benet from the collaboration
Its unusual for a rm of our size and
and insight our diverse lawyers and
longevity to have two female name staff bring to the workplace.
partners, says Meryl Lieberman, a four-
time honoree in Super Lawyers list of the In addition to providing leadership From Left: Lisa L. Shrewsberry
within their rm by serving on the & Meryl R. Lieberman
top 25 attorneys in Westchester County.
But then diversity has always been an rms management and nance
important aspect of our culture committees and leading its coverage NEW YORK ILLINOIS
it shows that here the and professional liability practice SEVEN SKYLINE DR. 303 WEST MADISON STREET, SUITE 1200
path is wide open, which in turn is what groups, Lieberman and Shrewsberry HAWTHORNE, NY 10532 CHICAGO, IL 60606
has allowed us to grow and recruit are regarded as authorities in the PH: 914.347.2600 | FAX: 914.347.8898
PH: 312.332.3900 | FAX: 312.332.3908
talent. insurance industry: Lieberman regularly
NEW JERSEY
speaks at conferences both nationally CALIFORNIA
Today, Traub Lieberman comprises and internationally concerning 322 HIGHWAY 35, THIRD FLOOR
RED BANK, NJ 07701 626 WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, SUITE 800
nearly 100 lawyers, with ofces complex insurance matters, and PH: 732.985.1000 | FAX: 732.985.2000 LOS ANGELES, CA 90017
throughout the country and a liaison she is a contributing author to the
ofce in London. As a leader in the FLORIDA PH: 213.624.4500 | FAX: 213.624.0820
Insurance Law Journal, an international
insurance industry, the rm is known for scholarly publication. Shrewsberry, 360 CENTRAL AVENUE 10TH FLOOR LONDON (LIAISON)
its sophisticated representation in all meanwhile, is a frequent speaker and ST. PETERSBURG, FL 33701
GALLERY 4, 12 LEADENHALL STREET
manner of insurance coverage litigation, writer for the Professional Liability PH: 727.898.8100 | FAX: 727.895.4838
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM EC3V1LP
as well as its defense of insureds in Underwriting Society, the American Bar 11770 U.S. HIGHWAY ONE +44 (0) 020 7816 5856
general liability, products liability, and Association, and the New York State PALM BEACH GARDENS, FL 33408
professional liability. Bar Association. PH: 561.848.8300 | FAX: 561.848.8301 WWW.TRAUBLIEBERMAN.COM

Advocates for Workplace Fairness

Outten & Golden is honored that three of its partners,

Wendi S. Lazar, Kathleen Peratis, and Tammy Marzigliano,
have been recognized as Women Leaders in the Law
Outten & Golden focuses on a global scale on advising and representing individuals and groups in employment,
partnership, and related workplace matters. The rm counsels individuals on employment and severance
agreements; handles complex compensation and benets issues (including matters involving bonuses,
commissions, and stock and option agreements and awards, and I.R.C. Sections 409A and 280G), and advises
professional partners (including accountants, doctors, and lawyers) with contractual and strategic issues. It also
represents employees with a wide variety of claims, including discrimination and harassment based on sex,
sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, race, disability, national origin, religion, and age, as well as
retaliation, whistleblower, and contract claims. Outten & Golden is also at the forefront of family leave issues and
veterans workplace rights. The rm handles some of the largest class action and impact litigations in the United
States involving a wide range of employment issues, including economic exploitation, gender- and race-based
discrimination, wage-and-hour violations, violations of the WARN Act, and other systemic workers rights issues.

Outten & Golden has nine practice groups: Executives & Professionals, Financial Services, Sexual Harassment
& Sex Discrimination, Family Responsibilities & Disabilities Discrimination, Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender
Queer Workplace Rights, Discrimination & Retaliation, Whistleblower Retaliation, Class & Collective Actions,
and WARN Act.
outtengolden.com
New York Chicago San Francisco
PHOTOS, TOP TO BOTTOM: WENDI S. LAZAR, KATHLEEN PERATIS, AND TAMMY MARZIGLIANO

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SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016

ROSENBERG & ESTIS, P.C.

LITIGATION (COMMERCIAL), LITIGATION (REAL ESTATE),
LANDLORD TENANT LAW, LOFT LAW
Over the past four decades, Rosenberg & Estis has
grown from a two-attorney ofce into a legal powerhouse
in the New York real estate community, nearly doubling in
size since 2010, when Luise A. Barrack became the rms
managing member.
Barrack, the rst woman in the rms history to hold this
position, has been an integral part of Rosenberg & Estis for
more than 30 years. In addition to managing the rm, she
provides leadership and insight as the head of its litigation
department, where she draws on her substantial experience
in all facets of real estate and complex commercial litigation
to oversee its trial and appellate matters. Through her
knowledge, strength, and vision for the rms future, she has
propelled Rosenberg & Estis from 45 attorneys in 2010 to
almost 80 lawyers today.
Weve made a concerted effort to expand our services
to meet our clients needs, and the result is that we can
offer a level of service that very few law rms can match,
particularly at our price point, Barrack says. There is an
across-the-board ability here to create and shape deals,
not just document them, and that is something we are very
proud of.
As one of New Yorks leading real estate law rms,
Rosenberg & Estis continues to be the rst choice for the
citys most prominent developers, landlords, and institutions.
Indeed, the rm has guided its clients through some of
the highest-prole developments in Manhattan, including
One Bryant Park, One World Trade Center, and Four Times
Square. The rm also represents clients in matters ranging
from hotels, mixed-use projects, and condominium and
cooperative conversions to rezonings, special permits,
variances, and development agreements.
You only have to examine the New York skyline to see the
impact Rosenberg & Estis has had on Manhattan, Barrack dedication to the organization. Not only is she a member
notes. We have handled litigation and transactions all over of the YMCAs Development Committee and Leadership
New York, representing clients on large-scale development Council, but in 2016 she was asked to co-chair the YMCAs
projects and assisting not-for-prot organizations and Annual Campaign.
individual owners on smaller ventures. So when it comes to
local knowledge and dealing with New York real estate, there Having been able to achieve my professional goals, I am
really is no one who knows it better. committed to sharing that good fortune, particularly when
it comes to helping children and young adults who would
Recognizing her leadership in the industry, Barrack was
otherwise not have the resources to reach their potential
proled in Real Estate Weeklys Womens Forum issue in
2014 and was honored by Real Estate Forum as a Woman and their goals, Barrack says. Leadership is important,
of Inuence from 2011 to 2014. She has consistently and thats a value both myself and the rm have embraced
been AV Preeminent rated by Martindale-Hubbell, the wholeheartedly.
organizations highest rating for legal ability and ethical
standards, and since 2008 she has been recognized in
Super Lawyers. ROSENBERG & ESTIS, P.C.
733 Third Avenue
Beyond her professional success, Barrack was recently New York, NY 10017
honored by the YMCA of Greater New York at its Arts Ph: 212.867.6000 | Fax: 212.551.8484
& Letters Reception for her long-term commitment and [email protected] | www.rosenbergestis.com

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NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

GANFER & SHORE, LLP

Photo by Catherine Gibbons

COMMERCIAL LITIGATION,
SECURITIES LITIGATION & REAL ESTATE

Ganfer & Shore, LLP is a signicant force in New

Yorks commercial litigation and real estate legal
sectors. Among its talent are eight attorneys who
were recognized this year as New York Women
Leaders in the Law.
Sandra Jacobus, Margery Weinstein, Daniella
Zelefsky and Bianca Costa Rodriguez bring
extensive experience in transactional matters
through their representation of foreign and
domestic corporations, trusts and individuals
in the acquisition, sale and nancing of vacant
land, commercial and mixed-use buildings,
condominiums and cooperative units and private
homes including top luxury sales regularly Top row left to right: Daniella Zelefsky, Dawn Wilson, Bianca Costa Rodriguez, Jamie L. Sinclair
recognized by the media. They also counsel Front row, left to right: Virginia Trunkes, Margery N. Weinstein (Partner), Sandra L. Jacobus (Partner), Manali Misra
many cooperative and condominium boards in
their real estate corporate governance matters. their business disputes, and advocate on behalf
Additionally, they represent numerous landlords, of property owners, investors, developers and
tenants and sub-tenants in leasing transactions lenders regarding construction, design, title and
and many types of clients in construction and regulatory issues. They also assist and represent
architect agreements. the rms cooperative and condominium board
Complex commercial litigators Dawn Wilson, clients when shareholder and unit owner disputes
Virginia Trunkes, Manali Misra and Jamie Sinclair, arise. 360 LEXINGTON AVENUE
each with her own unique background and skills, Both groups of these leading women lawyers NEW YORK, NY 10017
represent investment banks, broker-dealers, share the satisfaction of preventing, alleviating PH: 212.922.9250 | FAX: 212.922.9335
corporations, directors and ofcers in securities and bringing closure to conicts so that
[email protected]
litigation and enforcement proceedings, assist their clients can turn their focus back to their
small companies and entrepreneurs in resolving businesses and lives. WWW.GANFERSHORE.COM

DOUGLAS & LONDON, P.C.

Photo by Catherine Gibbons

MEDICAL MALPRACTICE, PERSONAL INJURY AND
PRODUCTS LIABILITY

A nurse-lawyer, Stephanie OConnor is unique among trial attorneys in

that her medical background, when combined with her nearly 30 years
of legal experience, has made her a highly effective advocate for people
injured by defective pharmaceutical drugs and medical devices.
My training as a nurse has greatly assisted me in understanding and
helping people who have suffered injuries and are in pain, OConnor says.
The cases I handle are usually very complex, and that rsthand medical
knowledge has been invaluable in my practice.
OConnor is frequently sought out by lawyers across the country to assist
in the scientic, medical, and causation aspects of preparing complex and
catastrophic cases for trial in both individual and multidistrict litigation
cases. Notably, she was a member of the trial team that achieved a $9 billion
verdict against Takeda Pharmaceuticals for the drug Actos, leading to a
global settlement of more than $2.2 billion. She also worked extensively on
the Yaz/Yasmin birth control multidistrict litigation, which resulted in a more
Stephanie OConnor
than $2 billion settlement with Bayer Healthcare.
Most recently, OConnor was appointed by U.S. District Court Judge
Kathryn H. Vratil to serve on the Ethicon Power Morcellator MDLs plaintiffs Douglas & Londons history of pioneering recoveries, such as the rst
steering committee, representing women who were diagnosed with verdict in New York against the tobacco industry, made joining the rm an
metastatic cancer due to the dispersal of morcellated tissue. This steering easy decision, says OConnor, a partner since 2008. Moreover, the rm
committee for the rst time in multidistrict litigation history consists of a truly embodies the principles and legal ethics that are so important to
majority of female attorneys. representing injured people against corporate America.
While in recent years OConnor has come to focus on litigation involving
dangerous medications and faulty medical devices, she has successfully 59 MAIDEN LANE, 6TH FLOOR
handled all types of medical malpractice and personal injury claims over her NEW YORK, NY 10038
career. Indeed, it was after winning a $1 million medical malpractice verdict PH: 212.566.7500
in 2005 that she was approached by Gary J. Douglas and Michael A. London WWW.DOUGLASANDLONDON.COM
about joining their rm, Douglas & London, P.C. [email protected]

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FIRM FEATURE SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

You Cant Do It All.

Read it again! And that is an appreciation for what it takes and
Judy Livingston repeats that piece of advice so means to serve people who have been injured, are
many times, it sounds like a mantra. Which it is. in need, or are simply less fortunate than the very lucky
Dont read the medical record ve times or even people sitting in this marvelous classroom.
ten times. Read it 50 times, says Livingston to the The most rewarding part of this profession is
dozen law students who are hanging on every word. getting our clients the justice they deserve, she
Because it may be on the 27th reading or the 47th explains.
that you see something you havent seen before. And
Livingston is one of two senior partners at Kramer,
that can make the big difference in a case.
Dillof, Livingston & Moore. The other is her husband,
Livingston is mentoring a group of soon-to-be
Tom Moore. Their rm is always among the top
lawyers on what it takes to be a truly good trial
lawyer. She should know. Livingston has won two or three rms for all types of plaintiff work.
32 verdicts of more than $1 million each more Last year, KDLM was the number-one rm on the
than any other female attorney in America. She VerdictSearch/ ALM Medical Malpractice Hall of
doesnt use the word Fame; had the
successful with the largest automobile
students because that accident verdict in
connotes too narrow a New York history;
metric. and was recognized
Of course she wants for its ground-
them to win at trial. breaking $172
But she is conveying
million verdict for a
something equally
botched 911-EMS
important: being of
service to others. response. The rm
also solidied its
Our clients have
leadership in an
suffered irreparable
tragedy. We restore area of practice
to them a measure of not traditionally
aspiration, self-esteem, Livingston, right, with her husband Tom Moore and their daughter associated with
and independence otherwise unattainable, KDLM: product
she explains. It is a 24-7 commitment. liability law. KDLM recently settled two cases for more
The students in this particular group are from than $10 million each.
Fordham Law School, but Livingston has talked with In addition to her extraordinary success in the
young lawyers from law schools and Bar associations courtroom, her willingness to volunteer her time
from all across the country; she is very much in mentoring students, and serving on non-prot
demand as a guest speaker. Most of these third-year boards, Livingston and her husband also raised three
students will probably not wind up practicing medical
children, now in their 20s.
malpractice or personal injury law Livingstons
specialties and a few may even become her I have no idea how she could do it all: career
courtroom opponents. and family, said her husband Tom Moore. He then
But no matter; Livingston has been mentoring paused and corrected himself. Actually, she couldnt
for years. Her goal is simple: to help prepare new do it all. I dont think either of us cooked a meal for
attorneys not just by building legal skills and an 10 years. Our kids probably thought that Uncle Tso
appreciation of the need for really hard work, but with really was their uncle. But all that she did do really
something far more important. mattered.

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NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

COHEN RABIN STINE

SCHUMANN LLP
FAMILY LAW

Cohen Rabin Stine Schumann LLP,

one of New Yorks top family law rms,
located at 11 Times Square, was founded
by Harriet Newman Cohen, Bonnie E.
Rabin, Martha Cohen Stine and Gretchen
Beall Schumann. The rm practices at the
forefront of family law, and its casework
is both high stakes and far reaching,
including complex nancial matters
involving the citys top CEOs, business
owners, legal and other professionals
as well as their spouses and partners.
Cohen notes: Weve been recognized
by Bench and bar as the crme de la Front row (left to right): Martha Cohen Stine, Harriet Newman Cohen, Bonnie E. Rabin, Gretchen Beall Schumann
crme of family law rms, and that has Back row (left to right): Laura Tucker, Amanda Laird Creegan, Evridiki Poumpouridis, Lindsay Pfeffer
been very gratifying to me, personally and
professionally. Stine adds: We handle cutting edge and law, says Schumann, but its rewarding
All of the rms partners and associates intellectually challenging cases for a wide to advocate on behalf of our clients
have been named as Super Lawyers, all range of clients, including high-prole and interests and see them through tough
partners are rated AV Preeminent by other individuals. In all of our cases, we times so they can move on to the next
Martindale-Hubbell, and Cohen and Rabin make a true difference in our clients lives. chapter of their lives.
have been recognized as among the Top 25 The rm handles all aspects of family law,
Women Lawyers in New York. including international and multi-state cases. 11 TIMES SQUARE, 10TH FLOOR
We are proud of being lawyers with The rms attorneys also serve as leaders of
NEW YORK, NY 10036
the highest level of scholarship, skill and the bar, advise legislators on legal reforms
commitment to meet our clients needs, and write and teach on family law issues. PH: 212.512.0825
say Rabin. This is a highly demanding area of the WWW.CRSSLAW.COM

JACQUELINE HAROUNIAN
Education Law, Labor and Employment Law MATRIMONIAL AND FAMILY LAW
and Special Education Law Jacqueline Harounian is consistently
ranked as one of the best divorce
FLORENCE T. FRAZER founding partner of Frazer & attorneys in New York. She received
Feldman, LLP., a firm concentrating on the representation the highest rating by Martindale
of public school boards of education. With over 25 years Hubbell for legal ability and
professional ethics; was chosen to
experience in public sector labor law, including service as Super Lawyers for six consecutive
Assistant Director of the Governors Office of Employee years; and was twice named as one of
Relations, she has negotiated hundreds of collective the Top 50 Women Lawyers in New
York. She recently received the 2015 HIA LI Those Who
bargaining agreements. She serves as general counsel to Make a Difference award for leadership in her eld.
boards of education, providing guidance on the Affordable Ms. Harounian practices exclusively in matrimonial
Care Act and APPR, and student and employee rights. and family law. She was named partner of Wisselman,
LAURA A. FERUGIARI, became a partner in Harounian & Associates, P.C. in 2006, and along with
Jerome Wisselman, she leads a nine attorney team
January 2005. Laura handles special education matters, with a record of success for trial advocacy up to the
impartial hearings and appeals, attends Section 504 and appellate level.
CSE meetings, student discipline and manifestation Ms. Harounian is a Board member in several
professional societies and non prot organizations, and
determination hearings. She has successfully handled is President of the Yashar chapter for lawyers and judges,
employee discipline and discrimination cases before the NCBA. She is a lecturer and author on family law, an
From Left: Laura A. Ferrugiari, Office for Civil Rights, State Division of Human Rights adjunct law instructor at Hofstra Law School, and called
Christie R. Jacobson and the EEOC and successfully defended appeals to the upon as an expert for legislative advocacy.
Center: Florence T. Frazer Says Ms. Harounian: Our clients count on us during a
Commissioner of Education, SRO, Appellate Division time of emotional crisis, entrusting us with their children
and the Second Circuit Court of Appeals. Laura oversees and their nancial security. We go the extra mile to help
budget votes for all of our school district clients. improve their lives with compassion and smart solutions.
When the case is resolved, we continue assisting them to
Frazer & Feldman, LLP CHRISTIE R. JACOBSON became associated successfully deal with the aftermath of divorce.
with the firm in 2006. Christie handles appeals to the Believing every case is important whether large or small,
1415 Kellum Place, Suite 201 Commissioner of Education on matters including Wisselman, Harounian & Associates, P.C. never charges
residency, homelessness, student discipline, transportation for an initial consultation. The rm is committed to
Garden City, New York 11530 serving its clients cost effectively, with meticulous strategic
and interpretation of the Education Law. Christie advises planning customized for each case, including expert trial
PH: 516.742.7777 clients regularly about the Affordable Care Act, FERPA, advocacy, mediation and negotiated settlement.
FOIL, McKinney-Vento and residency matters. Christie
Fax: 516.742.7868
was recently re-elected to serve on the Board of Directors WISSELMAN, HAROUNIAN & ASSOCIATES, P.C.
E-Mail: [email protected] of the Nassau County Bar Association. 1010 Northern Blvd., Suite 300
Great Neck, NY 11021
PH: 516.773.8300 | www.lawjaw.com

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SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016

LAURA A. BREVETTI

LEVITT WHITE-COLLAR CRIMINAL DEFENSE AND

BUSINESS LITIGATION
LLP Over the past 25 years,
Ms. Brevetti has built a highly
respected and successful
white collar criminal defense and

Karen L.Weiss business litigation practice.

She is a superbly skilled,
BUSINESS LITIGATION tenacious, and zealous advocate
for her clients, and has been recognized by her
CORPORATE peers as one of Manhattans Super Lawyers and
REAL ESTATE a preeminent rated lawyer in her specialties.
Ms. Brevetti represents individual and corporate
Karen L. Weiss is the Managing Partner of
clients at trial and arbitration; conducts complex
Levitt LLP, located in Mineola, Long Island.
internal corporate investigations of allegations of
In her 25 years of litigation experience, she
fraud, bribery, and violations of employment and
has handled a broad range of business and
corporate policy; advises companies on matters of
trade secret disputes and real estate matters, governance, compliance, and crisis management;
representing diverse clients ranging from a non- and defends individuals and nancial entities
profit artists community to a Fortune 200 global facing government and SRO enforcement
defense contractor. Her practice is nationwide, investigations and actions in securities and other
in federal and state courts, before arbitration areas. Recently, Ms. Brevetti completed a tenure
tribunals, as well as before government agencies. as a General Counsel and Corporate Secretary
She has been consistently selected for inclusion of a NYSE listed company, managing attorneys,
in Super Lawyers Magazine in the area of business supervising litigations and major outside law
litigation, has been listed as a New York Top Woman Attorney in the New York Times Magazine, rms, conducting internal investigations, and
and has been named as a Top Legal Eagle by the Long Island Pulse Magazine. Ms. Weiss earned responding to government and SRO regulatory
her law degree from Yeshiva University, Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law, and her bachelors inquiries.
degree, cum laude, from The George Washington University. Outside of the practice of law, Ms.
LAW OFFICES LAURA A. BREVETTI
Weiss devotes time to philanthropic and community organizations such as the Juvenile Diabetes 415 Madison Avenue, 11th Fl
Research Foundation. New York, NY 10017
PH: 212.359.2922
129 Front Street, Mineola, New York 11501 [email protected]
PH: 516.248.9700 | FAX: 516.741.9224 | levittlawllp.com www.brevettilaw.com

SUSAN L. BENDER
PROFESSIONAL BACKGROUND
LAW OFFICE OF
VICTORIA WICKMAN SUSAN L. BENDER is the
managing partner in the rm of
Bender & Rosenthal LLP. She
Medical Malpractice | Personal Injury recently served as Chair of the
Traumatic Brain Injury Matrimonial Law Committee of
the New York City Bar Association.
Susan is a Fellow of the American
The Law Office of Victoria Wickman is primarily
Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers,
focused on medical malpractice but also specializes a former member of its Executive
in personal injury and traumatic brain injury cases. Committee and a current Board member. She is
a Fellow of the American College of Family Trial
Ms. Wickman began her law career by working in a
Lawyers, and she is a past President of the Womens
local personal injury law office while attending college Bar Association of the State of New York. Susan is
and law school. While there, she developed a passion a former member of the Executive Committee of
for those that have been mistreated and injured. the Family Law Section of the New York State Bar
Association, and was a member of the Executive
Ms. Wickman earned her Juris Doctorate from St. Johns Committee of the Interdisciplinary Forum and the
University School of Law in 2001. After graduation, as Board of Directors of the New York Womens Bar
an associate for two prestigious law firms, she secured Association.
Justice Betty Weinberg Ellerin appointed Susan
multimillion-dollar settlements in cases involving to the Committee to Certify Law Guardians for
personal injury and medical malpractice, including Appointment in Domestic Relations Matters; Chief
failures to diagnose cancer, improper surgeries and Judge Judith S. Kaye appointed Susan to the
Matrimonial Commission chaired by Justice Sondra
improper infant deliveries. This continued success led Miller; and Chief Administrative Judges Ann Pfau
her to open her own firm in 2009. As a sole practitioner, and A. Gail Prudenti appointed Susan to serve on the
she dedicates her time and energy to her clients. She is Matrimonial Practice Advisory and Rules Committee.
Ms. Bender has an AV rating from Martindale
120 Broadway, 18th Floor highly regarded in her field and has been selected as a Hubbell and is routinely chosen to be included in The
Super Lawyer in 2013, 2014 and 2015 and ranked an AV Best Lawyers in America published by Woodward/
New York, New York White, Inc. and is routinely named a Super Lawyer.
preeminent lawyer by Martindale Hubbell.
Ms. Benders practice is concentrated in domestic
Ms. Wickman is the Vice-Chair of the Medical relations law matters in Supreme and Family Courts.
PH: 212.374.9161
Malpractice Committee of the New York State Trial
Lawyers Association and a member of the Kings BENDER & ROSENTHAL LLP
[email protected]
County American Inns of Court and the Brooklyn 451 Park Avenue South
www.wickmanmedlaw.com Womens Bar Association. She speaks fluent Italian. New York, NY 10016
PH: 212.725.7111
www.brmatlaw.com

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NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

ELIZABETH DONOGHUE
REAL ESTATE AND LITIGATION
BERKMAN BOTTGER
Ms. Donoghue represents
NEWMAN & RODD, LLP shareholders, unit owners,
tenant groups, individual rent
regulated and market rate
DIVORCE, FAMILY LAW, MEDIATION, tenants, in numerous facets of
New York City housing law.
COLLABORATIVE LAW AND
With 30 years of experience,
PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENTS Ms. Donoghue regularly appears in
administrative tribunals, trial and appellate
Jacqueline Newman is the managing partner courts.
Ms. Donoghue graduated from Antioch
of the midtown matrimonial law firm, Berkman School of Law, where she clerked for the
Bottger Newman & Rodd, LLP. Ms. Newmans Honorable Vincent Broderick, S.D.N.Y., and
Georgetown University Law Center, where she
JACQUELINE N. practice consists of litigation, collaborative was a Fellow of the Harrison Institute for Public
NEWMAN law, and mediation. She specializes in complex, Law. Ms. Donoghue, a recipient of a Reginald
Heber Smith Fellowship, also practiced law at
high-net-worth matrimonial cases and negotiation
Land of Lincoln Legal Assistance Foundation in
of prenuptial agreements. Ms. Newman regularly rural Illinois.
appears as an expert commentator on various Ms. Donoghue is active in the New York City
Bar Association, currently as a member of its
television and radio shows and has been quoted Executive Committee. She served as Chair of
as an expert in numerous publications. Mrs. its Judiciary and Housing Court committees,
and was a member of Co op Condominium
521 5th Avenue, 31st Floor Newman is AV preeminent peer review rated by
Committee and the Council on Judicial
New York, NY 10175 Martindale-Hubbell and was selected for inclusion Administration. Ms. Donoghue is a frequent
lecturer on housing issues.
Tel: 212-867-9123 in Thompson Reuters New York Metro Super
Fax: 212-983-8526 Lawyers Top 50 Women list in 2013, 2014, and 2015 HIMMELSTEIN, MCCONNELL, GRIBBEN,
DONOGHUE & JOSEPH
[email protected] and was included in the 2016 edition of New York 15 Maiden Lane, New York, NY 10038
www.berkbot.com Citys Best Lawyers. PH: 212.349.3000
[email protected]
www.hmgdjlaw.com

ALYSSA EISNER
DAVIDA S. PERRY, the Managing Partner at Schwartz DIVORCE, CUSTODY
& Perry has spent most of her legal career fighting for the
Voted one of the top 50
rights of victims of workplace discrimination. Her work
has resulted in landmark decisions, namely Thoreson, women lawyers in New York
where the Court ruled that sexual harassment can be and a Family Law Super
proven by the victims testimony alone and Bracker, where Lawyer, Alyssa Eisner is known
the appellate court held that the New York City Human for her zealous and devoted
Rights law was constitutional. This paved the way for
representation of her clients.
victims of discrimination, working in New York City,
to avail themselves of one of the most protective and As Managing Partner of Sager Gellerman Eisner

comprehensive human rights laws in the country. LLP and a member of the Executive Committee
Most gratifying was a jury verdict for $6.6 million of the Family Law Section of the New York Bar
awarded to a plaintiff who endured sexual harassment and Association, Alyssa immerses herself in the
retaliation. The plaintiff, as well as Ms. Perry and her father,
practice of Family Law on behalf of the families
partner and mentor were celebrated at a ceremony for
she represents. Alyssa is a member of the
Courageous Plaintiffs, held by the National Employment
Lawyers Association. Other notable awards were jury Attorney for the Child Advisory Committee, the
verdicts in favor of a retaliation plaintiff for $2.5 million, New York Family Law Chapter of the American
of which $300,000 was for punitive damages, a sexual Inns of Court and the Nassau, Queens and New
harassment plaintiff in the amount of $1.33 million, and a
York City Bar Associations, and a fellow of the
substantial verdict in favor of the plaintiff in a pregnancy
New York Chapter of the American Academy of
discrimination case.
Ms. Perry has co-authored articles and lectured Matrimonial Lawyers. Alyssa Eisner will invest her
295 Madison Avenue
New York at programs sponsored by area bar associations and time, knowledge and unsurpassed credentials to
continuing legal education providers. She has achieved an help you resolve your Family Law needs.
New York 10017
AV rating with preeminence by Martindale-Hubbell. For
P 212.889.6565 each year since 2009 to the present, Ms. Perry has been
F 212.779.8208 named to the New York Super Lawyers list and in 2012
SAGER GELLERMAN EISNER LLP
and 2013, she was also named one of the Top 50 women 118 35 Queens Boulevard, Suite 1705
[email protected]
lawyers in the New York Metro Area. Since 2012, Ms. Forest Hills, NY 11375
www.schwartzandperry.com Perry has been recognized in Women Leaders in the Law. PH: 718.261.2300 | Fax: 718.261.0821
[email protected]
www.sagergellerman.com

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NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

WENDY R. FLEISHMAN

Cardi & PERSONAL INJURY, PRODUCT LIABILITY

Wendy R. Fleishman is a

Edgar LLP passionate and experienced

lawyer for those injured by the
wrongful misconduct of others.
With more than thirty years of
MATRIMONIAL & FAMILY LAW, CRIMINAL DEFENSE LAW, courtroom experience, Wendys
EMPLOYMENT LAW practice focuses on patients
injured by dangerous prescription drugs with
undisclosed side effects or by defective medical
Cardi & Edgar LLP is a boutique law firm specializing in devices.
matrimonial and family law, criminal defense and select federal and Wendy has served in leadership roles in
New York State litigation. signicant MDL litigation in federal and state
courts including Stryker Rejuvenate and
Founded in 1992 by firm principal, Dawn Cardi, the firm provides a
ABG II Hip Implants, Zimmer Durom Cup Hip
full range of legal services in New York City and surrounding areas. Implants, Yaz and Yasmin, DePuy Hip Implants,
Ms. Cardis 30 years experience as both a matrimonial and family (212) 481-7770 Medtronic Sprint Fidelis heart leads, Guidant
lawyer, and as a state and federal criminal defense attorney, means cardiac debrillators, the Ortho Evra Patch, and
clients benefit from her unique combination of negotiation and cardiedgarlaw.com contaminated contact lens solution litigation
against Bausch & Lomb and Abbott Medical
litigation experience. Her years spent as general counsel for
FIRM ATTORNEYS: Optics.
corporate entities, coupled with her expertise in financial and Wendy has been named in the top 100 trial
business matters further augment her experience, making her an Dawn M. Cardi lawyers in America and is an ofcer of NYSTLA;
invaluable asset to clients in both the matrimonial arena and in she is the President of the AAJs Section on Tort,
Chad L. Edgar
criminal defense and litigation. Environmental and Product Liability Litigation, and
Robyn L. Enes NY State Delegate to the Board of Governors of
The firm has established itself as an authority in matrimonial law,
the AAJ.
criminal defense and civil litigation, with an impeccable reputation Joanna C. Kahan
for successfully negotiating, litigating and settling hundreds of
John P. Buza (Of counsel) LIEFF CABRASER HEIMANN & BERNSTEIN, LLP
cases against law firms of all sizes. The firms client-focused practice
250 Hudson Street, 8th Floor
is devoted to providing the highest levels of professional expertise, Remi Schwartz (Of counsel) New York, NY 10013
customer service, responsiveness and concern to clients across a PHOTO COURTESY OF PH: 212.355.9500 | Fax: 212.355.9592
broad array of professional fields. CHRIS LEE PHOTOGRAPHY [email protected]
www.lieffcabraser.com

RACHEL GEMAN PATRICIA ANN GRANT LAURIE BERKE-WEISS

EMPLOYMENT, FALSE CLAIMS ACT FAMILY LAW EMPLOYMENT LAW

Rachel Gemans practice Patricia Ann Grant has practiced Laurie Berke Weiss practices
combines a drive for basic family and matrimonial law since all aspects of employment
fairness with a fascination for 1986. She has tried cases in the law. Corporations, non prots,
Family and Supreme Courts, local businesses, executives,
unraveling complex fraud. Her
and successfully argued appeals lawyers, physicians, architects,
cases focus on employment and
in Appellate Court. Ms. Grant and teachers number among
discrimination law and False is also a trained Mediator and her clients. Laurie negotiates
Claims Act litigation brought to Collaborative Law practitioner, employment contracts and
redress fraud against the government. She has and is on The Neutral Evaluation Panel for the severance agreements, handles partnership
successfully represented employee benet plans Supreme Court of New York County. issues, provides advice and counsel on
in recovering $65 million from AXA Rosenberg Ms. Grants practice focuses on divorce and workplace policies and procedures, and conducts
custody mediation and litigation, as well as workplace investigations. She also litigates claims
over its handling of investments; litigated and
pre and post nuptial agreements. She has made concerning sex harassment, discrimination and
settled a class discrimination suit on behalf of presentations at the American Psychoanalytic wrongful termination, Family Medical Leave Act
female nancial advisors at BofA/Merrill Lynch Association, the American College of Forensic including pregnancy issues, and non competition
for $39 million; and recouped $78.5 million Psychiatry and Psychology, and the New York
agreements. Laurie is A V rated. She has over 30
from University of Phoenix in the largest U.S. County Lawyers Association. She has co authored
years experience in state and federal litigation,
Department of Education FCA case in history. a chapter in a book entitled A Handbook of
arbitration and mediation. Laurie is a leader in
Divorce and Custody: Forensic, Developmental
She has litigated multiple wage and hour cases, the New York legal community, having served
and Clinical Perspectives. Ms. Grant is a Past
including a $35 million victory over Wal Mart in as President of the New York Womens Bar
President and is currently on the Advisory Board
Washington State. Association and Chair of the Executive Committee
of the New York Womens Bar Association, a
A Certied Fraud Examiner, Rachel has of the New York City Bar Association. Currently,
member of the New York State Bar Association
she chairs the City Bars Advisory Committee on
spoken and written extensively on class action, and the New York City Bar Association.
the New Lawyer Institute. Laurie is a graduate of
whistleblower, and employment law topics, and She is listed in Best Lawyers in America and
Cornell Universitys School of Industrial and Labor
has taught a course she designed on international has an AV Preeminent rating from Martindale
Hubbell, evidencing that her peers rank her at the Relations and Fordham Law School.
employment law as an adjunct law professor.
highest level of professional excellence.

BERKE-WEISS LAW PLLC

LIEFF CABRASER HEIMANN & BERNSTEIN, LLP 950 Third Avenue
250 Hudson Street, 8th Floor GRANT & APPELBAUM, P.C. 32nd Floor
New York, NY 10013 565 Fifth Avenue, 9th Floor New York, NY 10022
PH: 212.355.9500 | Fax: 212.355.9592 New York, NY 10017 PH: 212.888.2680
[email protected] PH: 212.308.2200 [email protected]
www.lieffcabraser.com [email protected] www.BerkeWeissLaw.com

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NEW YORKS WOMEN LEADERS IN THE LAW 2016 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

PAMELA D. HAYES RUTH JIN, ESQ. ELLEN RELKIN, ESQ.

CRIMINAL, STATE AND FEDERAL MERGERS AND ACQUISITIONS DEFECTIVE DRUGS & DEVICES
AND CAPITAL MARKETS
Pamela Hayes has a boutique Ms. Relkin, represents plaintiffs
Ruth Jin is an exceptional injured by defective medical
practice in the areas of Criminal Law
products with a recent focus
corporate and securities law
and Family Court issues. She has leading litigations involving
attorney with in depth knowledge recalled metal on metal hip
been the private practice of law for
of laws and regulations and implants.
22 years. In addition to handling She was court appointed as
tremendous experience in Co Lead Counsel of the DePuy
numerous high prole cases, she also spends a notable
negotiating and crafting legal mechanism that solve ASR Multi District Litigation and the Lead Counsel
amount of time performing commentary on high prole for the New Jersey Stryker Rejuvenate & ABG II
clients challenging issues. Ms. Jins clients range Modular Hip Implant Litigation where she was an
cases in the social, religious and political realm on radio
from entrepreneurs to Fortune 500 companies. She architect of the multi billion dollar settlements.
and TV. In addition she enjoys fund raising activities for She also serves on the Plaintiff Steering
regularly advises businesses through all stages of
Committee of the Xarelto Multi District Litigation.
political campaigns, religious organizations and women growth from start up/capital nancing to IPO. She Ms. Relkin a graduate of Cornell University
organizations. Pamela lives in Manhattan and practices and Rutgers University School of Law is Certied
has extensive experience in mergers and acquisitions,
by the New Jersey Supreme Court as a Civil
law in New York State, New Jersey, and Georgia. joint ventures and alternative public offerings, and Trial Attorney and is an elected member of the
Pamela Hayes areas of practice includes Criminal, State very familiar with legal issues related to US China American Law Institute. She is a frequent lecturer
and a member of numerous local and national bar
and Federal Law. Pamela Hayes practice in New York transactions. Prior to founding Jin Law Group, she associations. Ellen is AV rated, with more than
State, New Jersey, and Georgia. was an associate at Orrick Herrington & Sutcliffe. She 30 years experience representing plaintiffs in
complex injury cases. She is licensed to practice
Pamela Hayes has a college age daughter who is has her law degrees from Georgetown University,
in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and
almost ready to graduate and she lives in Manhattan. University of Tokyo and Peking University. She is Washington, DC.
uent in Chinese, Korean and Japanese.

LAW OFFICES OF PAMELA D. HAYES WEITZ & LUXENBERG, P.C.

200 W 57th Street, Suite 708 THE JIN LAW GROUP, PLLC 700 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
New York, NY 10019 200 Park Avenue, Suite 1700 ph: (212)558 5500
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DEBORAH A. SCALISE DANIELLE J. SEID - VAZANA, ESQ.

PROFESSIONAL RESPONSIBILITY, ETHICS, MATRIMONIAL AND FAMILY LAW
WHITE-COLLAR CRIME
Danielle J. Seid Vazana is
Deborah A. Scalise is a partner a Matrimonial and Family
in SCALISE & HAMILTON LLP Law litigator who represents
in Scarsdale, NY. They provide individuals in highly contested
proactive ethics advice to law custody and divorce actions
rms and represent professionals from commencement through
in ethics and white collar criminal conclusion, including the drafting
matters before the Character &
of pre and post nuptial, separation and divorce
Fitness Committees; the NYS
agreements, and in the litigation of support, paternity,
and Federal Disciplinary & Grievance Committees
relocation disputes, family offense and child neglect
and the Judicial Conduct Commission. The rm
proceedings, and trials. She compassionately
received the WWBAs 2014 Family Friendly Award.
guides clients through the uncertainties of litigation
Ms. Scalise was recognized by the NYLJ as one
during what is often a very stressful and emotional
of the Top 100 Largest Women Owned Law Firms
experience.
and Top 25 Attorneys in Westchester Magazine in
Ms. Seid Vazana is a member of the NYS Bar
2014 and 2015. She has been rated a Best Lawyer
Association, Nassau County Bar Association, and
in America since 2012, a Super Lawyer since
NYS Family Law Committee. She was named a
2009 and AV Preeminent by Martindale Hubbell
Rising Star in 2013, 2014 and 2015 by SuperLawyers,
since 2002. She received the WBASNY Marilyn
was recognized as Top 10 Under 40 in 2014 by
Menge Award & Westchester County Above the
the National Academy of Family Law Attorneys,
Bar Pace Setter Award. She is active in several bar
and is recognized as an American Academy of Trial
associations. A member of the New York State Bar
Association, she serves as Chair of the Continuing Attorneys 2015 Premier 100 Trial Attorney and is
Legal Education (CLE) Committee & on the a Rue Ratings Best Attorneys of America Lifetime
Attorney Professionalism Committee. Charter Member.

SCALISE & HAMILTON LLP THE LAW OFFICES OF ANTHONY A. CAPETOLA

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[email protected] www.capetolalaw.com

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 Carter: Okay. Im serious. Like you cant superior-court judge for the state, told South
even wait till tonight. You have to do it when Coast Today, a local-news site. Its going to
you get back from your walk. be a very difficult case to prove, a former
To the outside world, Carter seemed to Massachusetts District Court judge said.
genuinely care about Roy. Her high-school She didnt put the instruments in his hand.
friends said she would frequently talk about There is one contemporary case that could
him, and she told him she loved him in the serve as an example. In 2011, a Minnesota
days before his death. After Carter told him nurse named William Melchert-Dinkel was
he had to commit suicide today, he found guilty of posing in online chat rooms
Death by Text responded: Thank you. as a depressed woman in her 20s and per-
CO N T I N U E D F R O M PAG E 6 7 For what? she responded. suading at least two people to kill themselves.
Roy: Still being here. The state supreme court reversed Melchert-
Carter and Roy were, in a way, replicating Carter: I would never leave you. Youre Dinkels convictions in 2014, ruling that
a disturbing dynamic that happens in some the love of my life, my boyfriend. You are my advising or encouraging suicide is pro-
online forums, where the severely depressed heart. Id never leave you. tected by the First Amendment, while actu-
can gather and discuss best practices for Roy: Aw. ally assisting in someones suicide was a
self-harm and suicide. Without being able Carter: I love you. criminal act under state law. Last year, an
to understand what each person might be Roy: Love you, too. appeals court upheld the conviction against
going through personally, it certainly seems One of Carters defenders, a friend from Melchert-Dinkel in one of the suicide cases,
to be the case that those who experience school, said she thinks Carters mental- for providing detailed instructions to a man
mental illness can end up reinforcing mal- health issues played a role in what trans- who later killed himself.
adaptive behaviors accidentally, or because pired between them. This case is about two Matt Segal, the legal director for the Mas-
theyre not resourced to know how to better unstable teenagers, one of whom was very sachusetts ACLU, says there are two major
help, said Mitch Prinstein, a professor of suicidal and the other that had no clue how hurdles for the state in pursuing this case.
clinical psychology at the University of to handle the situation, she said. I think One is the First Amendment, and the
North CarolinaChapel Hill who studies Michelle went through stages of handling question there is, did the young woman
peer-to-peer relationships and their effects Conrad; first, she tried really hard to change have a constitutionally protected right to
on teen depression and self-harm. his mind; then, she felt she couldnt con- say what she did to this young man? And
Prinstein said that the experience of hav- vince him so she resorted to something she even if she didnt have the right, did saying
ing a close friend or loved one talk repeat- found on the internet to comply with his those things amount to a crime under Mas-
edly about suicide can be a major stressor plans; and finally, I think she started to real- sachusetts law? That might be an easier
for anyone, but especially a young person. ize the longer the plans went on that Conrad question if Massachusetts had a statute
There is plenty of evidence to suggest that was really going to go through with it, she about assisting suicide, but it doesnt have
the experience of being in a close relation- said. I truly believe that Michelle was delu- one, so to win on that second question, they
ship with someone who is depressed is a dif- sional about Conrads situation. will have to prove the elements of man-
ficult experience for that non-depressed slaughter. That really seems like an uphill
partner, he said. But he doesnt think that here are very few instances climb for the prosecution.
can explain the body of text messages
released as part of the indictment. Despite
the distress that might form from being in a
relationship with someone depressed or sui-
cidal, theres no reasonable explanation for
the type of aggressive and demanding
behavior displayed in the messages, he said.
T in the United States of someones
successfully being convicted of
causing another persons sui-
cidea person who kills himself
is generally considered to be the ultimate
cause of his own death. Most states, though,
have specific laws criminalizing the aid or
W
hen investigators inter-
viewed Carters friends after
Roys death, they told them
that she had a tendency to
exaggerate and needed a lot
of reassurance and attention. Even the
This is what makes the messages so hard assistance in someone elses suicide. Massa- friends who were sympathetic toward her
to dismiss: Even in moments when Roy chusetts is one of the few states in the coun- had to contend with messages that were
seemed to be reconsidering, Carter pushed try without a specific law against it. difficult to dismiss, ones that felt calculat-
him forward. In recent years, theres been a small but ing and aware.
Like why am I so hesitant lately. Like two growing number of criminal charges leveled Two days before Roy set off for the
weeks ago I was willing to try everything against young people who cyberbully peers Fairhaven Kmart, she practiced her
and now Im worse, really bad, and Im LOL who later commit suicide, most famously response to Roys death with friends, acting
not following through. Its eating me inside, the six students criminally charged for bul- as if he were already gone. She texted a
Roy wrote the day of his death. lying in the suicide of Phoebe Prince, friend: Like, he always texts me in the
Carter: Youre so hesitant because you another Massachusetts teenager. The case morning and he didnt and he stopped
keep over thinking it and keep pushing it against the teenagers involved in Princes answering last night. She said she had
off. You just need to do it, Conrad. The death ultimately ended in plea deals for mis- reached out to Conrads mother, who said
more you push it off, the more it will eat at demeanor charges, with the more serious the family was looking for him but couldnt
you. Youre ready and prepared. All you charges dropped amid criticism that the find him. None of this was true, but it would
have to do is turn the generator on and you prosecution had overreached. be a few days later.
will be free and happy. No more pushing it Successful convictions against teenagers On the day Roy died, Carter asked him,
off. No more waiting. charged in peer-suicide deaths have proved Did you delete the messages? as though
Roy: Youre right. elusive for prosecutors, and the Carter case is she knew exactly how bad theyd look after
Carter: If you want it as bad as you say likely to be just as challenging. I think they his death. In one of the most disturbing
you do its time to do it today. have a very thin case. Im surprised they even exchanges included in the case against her,
Roy: Yup. No more waiting. charged this girl, John M. Xifaras, a retired Carter messaged a friend named Sam just

152 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
over a week after the suicide, worrying about hole in my neck right now, she joked.)
the legal implications of her role in Roys Pop! Second, she discovered that inside, the cyst
death. I just got off the phone with Conrads was composed almost entirely of tough,
mom about 20 minutes ago and she told me fibrous tissue. For the better part of an hour,
that the detectives had to come and go she used a pair of scissors and a curette to
through his things and stuff, she wrote. Its scrape it out. (When she later sent a tissue
something they have to do with suicides and sample to a lab, the results revealed that the
homicides and she said they have to go lump had not been a cyst at all; it was a type
through his phone and see if anyone encour- of skin cancer.)
aged him to do it on text and stuff. Sam, they Lee looked discouraged. Over the
read my messages with him Im done. His CO N T I N U E D F R O M PAG E 6 2 months, she had developed a keen sense
family will hate me and I can go to jail. of what popaholics will find satisfying. Its
Carters friend tried to console her, but she scary); explosions in a Michael Bay film; a not rocket science, she said. You figure it
wasnt convinced. She would later tell her roller coaster; a sunset; a shooting star; a out because they tell you. Theyll say That
friend that she had been on the phone with natural childbirth (Gross and messy, but was gross, theres just too much bleeding
him when he took his final breaths. the end result is beautiful in a way). or That was awesome right there, like
Investigators would later learn that from This sensation is not limited to popping Silly String!
July until December of that year, Carter videos. YouTube also contains surprisingly Next up on the hard-pop roster was a
had been messaging Roys mother. In one popular videos of people removing plugs of young woman with a relatively rare condi-
message, she wrote, You tried your hard- earwax, shampooing filthy car seats, using tion known as eruptive vellus hair cysts on
est, I tried my hardest, everyone tried their wood glue to strip the dust from vinyl her back. They, too, refused to pop out
hardest to save him He was the most records, and power-washing the grime off a cleanly. Youre interesting, but not greatly
important person in the world to me, I saw metal toolbox. But the intimacy and univer- satisfying, Lee told her. Sorry about that.
my life with him. I wish things could be so sality of pimple popping make it an excep- You dont take it personally, do you?
different now too, but you need to know tionally cathartic ritual. Life is hard, so The following day, Lee saw a patient
that it is not your fault, she wrote. In hard, wrote one popaholic, a 34-year-old with a benign fatty tumor that adhered
another message she told Roys mother, woman from Iowa who worked nights and stubbornly to the skin and she had to cut
He thought he would never be truly happy weekends to support her 2-year-old son. it out in pieces. A few hours later, a lipoma
with himself. And he didnt think hed be a The only thing that makes me feel okay, walked in, on the back of an exterminator
good husband or father and didnt want his even for a short period of time, are the named Ronnie, but the same thing hap-
kid to have the same problem but you videos. I watch them every single night. Its pened; she deemed it a dud. The pres-
cant blame this on you, please. It wont my only escape right now. So, if you can, sure to capture one good, hard pop on film
solve anything and it makes it harder living please thank Dr. Sandra for me, because I was mounting.
with the guilt. Later, when officers would probably be in a psychiatric hospital Finally, in walked Geoffrey, a young guy
obtained a subpoena of Carters phone if I didnt have her videos. in black athleticwear, with a smaller pilar
records, they saw that she had continued to Like pornography, popping videos come cyst hidden beneath his short-cropped
text Roys number more than 70 times in two main genres: soft and hard. Many dark hair.
after his death. popaholics report that while they started Well, we havent got any really great
In one of the messages Carter sent to a out only being able to handle soft pops pops like this yet, so were hoping that youll
friend after the fact, she wrote of her guilt (black- and whiteheads), they now crave be one, Lee told him. Are you going to
over his death. Its hard to know how to deci- something more hard-core: primarily cysts, deliver or not?
pher her words, where the manipulation abscesses, and fatty tumors called lipomas. Geoffrey smiled nervously.
ends and the sincere confusion begins. But After her appointment with Mr. Wilson, Lee readied her tools and instructed
in them, she wrestles with her sense of Lee had a patient lined up who she hoped Kristie to move the overhead light so her
responsibility. His death is my fault. Like, would produce a spectacular hard pop. He hand didnt cast a shadow on the cyst. She
honestly I could have stopped it. I was the was an RV salesman named Bill, with a numbed the area, made a small incision,
one on the phone with him and he got out of golf-ball-size lump growing atop his and then placed two rubber-gloved thumbs
the car because [it] was working and he got leathery forehead. It appeared to be a pilar on either side of the opening. She pushed:
scared and I fucken told him to get back in cyst. A special delicacy among popaholics, nothing. She pushed harder: nothing. Then
because I knew that he would do it all over pilar cysts are sacs filled with a white tooth- she braced herself against the wall and
again the next day and I couldnt have him paste-y substance made of soggy, dead skin pushed with all her strength
live the way he was living anymore. cells. They are not dangerous, but they are Pop!
I couldnt do it. I wouldnt let him. And unsightly and can occasionally lead to pain- A pale, slippery, oblong object ejected
therapy didnt help him and I wanted him to ful infections. Bill said that it had been neatly from the skin, like a white edamame
go to McLeans with me when I went but growing for the past seven years; it had pre- bean. Kristie deemed the pop perfect. Lee
he didnt want to go because he said nothing viously been even bigger, but he had stitched shut the wound, then brought the
they would do or say would help him or squeezed the fuck out of that thing until it cyst around, on a bed of gauze, to show to
would change the way he feels. So I, like, burst. Then, over time, it grew back. her patient. Then Kristie turned the iPhone
started giving up because nothing I did was Lee worked quickly, but when the tip of around and let him watch the video of it
helping but I should have tried harder, she her scalpel cut into the cyst, two unfortunate popping out of his skin.
continued. Like, I should have did more. things happened more or less simultane- Huh, I didnt feel anything, Geoffrey
And its all my fault because I could have ously. First, a thin stream of liquidwhat reflected. I could tell when it was coming
stopped him but I fucken didnt. And all appeared to be a mixture of anesthetic and out, though. I just felt, like, a release or
I had to say was I love you and dont do this cyst-juicejetted out from the incision and something? Its just like if youve ever popped
one more time and hed still be here. hit Lee in the neck. (Its like acid, burning a a pimple. I was just like: Whoa, crazy.

m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 153
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m a r c h 7- 2 0 , 2 01 6 | n e w y o r k 169
 crossword

and business offices: 212-508-0700. Postmaster: Send address changes to New York, P.O. Box 62240, Tampa, FL 336622240. Canada Post International Publications Mail Product (Canadian Distribution) Sales Agreement No. 40612608. Canada returns to be sent to Imex Global Solutions, P.O. Box 25542, London, ON N6C 6B2. Subscription rates in
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March 720, 2016. VOL. 49, NO. 5. New York Magazine (ISSN 0028-7369) is published biweekly, plus two special issues, Spring/Summer Weddings (March) and Fall/Winter Weddings (October), by New York Media LLC, 75 Varick Street, New York, N.Y. 10013. Periodicals postage paid at New York, N.Y., and additional mailing offices. Editorial
Sounds of Sigh
New York Crossword by Cathy Allis
12 Breaking Bad spinoff
Better Call __
13 Prado display
14 Breakfast-item holder
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 15 Genius
16 Data speed unit
19 20 21 22 17 Brink
18 Cervine animals
23 24 25 26 24 Galway Bays __ Islands
28 Former space station
27 28 29 29 Hang limply
31 Does laps, maybe
30 31 32 33
32 Mom of George and Charlotte
34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 34 Woodwind instrument: abbr.
35 New Haven collegian
44 45 46 47 36 Christmastides
37 __-de-boeuf (oval windows,
48 49 50 51 52 literally oxs eyes)
38 Died down
53 54 55 56 57
39 Phi Delt, Deke, or SAE
40 Sole
58 59 60 61
41 Desert flora
62 63 64 65 66 42 Irish actor Milo
43 Projection that pricks
67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 46 Cut-rate, in brand names
47 Printers greenish-blue color
76 77 78 79 80 81 50 Rudolphs bright feature
51 Not orig.
82 83 84 85

Bruce Wasserstein; chief executive officer, Anup Bagaria. New York Magazine is not responsible for the return or loss of unsolicited manuscripts. Any submission of a manuscript must be accompanied by a SASE.
52 They protect your dogs?
86 87 88 89 90
54 Letter-shaped fastener
55 Quit stalling
91 92 93 94 95 59 Bacterial culprit in some
illness
96 97 98 61 Preppy clothing brand
63 Hoover or Dyson alternative
99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 64 Internet-caf connection
65 This is so exasperating!
109 110 111 112
66 Something charged
113 114 115 116
67 Hidden supply
68 Oceanias __ New Guinea
117 118 119 120 69 Drive onward
70 Gold-coated
73 Faith with Five Pillars
74 Take flight to unite
Across 49 1991 Bret Easton Ellis novel 97 Backslide 75 Become ready to pick
1 Territory of Indias capital turned film 98 Reds : Cin :: Blue Jays : __ 77 Yearly celebration time, for
6 Mao contemporary Enlai 53 Cambodian currency (lire 99 Bid farewell, Japanese-style short
10 Olympic Games sponsor since anagram) 104 Chose 78 Fuel brand in Canada
1986 54 Theyre a.k.a. ink 109 Macrams makeup 79 Breadth
14 Flowed back 56 Ham it up 110 Ruffalo of Spotlight 81 Southwest horizon hump
19 With full force 57 Misanthropic type 111 __ unto my people Israel 83 Piano-key wood
20 Attilas ilk 58 Gist (command in Amos 7:15) 84 JAG spinoff
21 Month of Purim 60 Continuous clamor 113 Bar of gold 85 Tablet for game tallies
22 Steepness 61 Sea between Italy and Greece 114 Puppy Love singer Paul 89 Like some parking or mail
23 Broadway title role for Lea 62 Put (someone) in their place 115 Buffalos county 92 Brewers and bakers supplies
Salonga 67 Faucet 116 Major heart vessel 93 One of ConAgras margarines
25 Boorish oaf 71 Grande, por ejemplo 117 Theyre often in bars 94 Upscale-hotel facility
26 Measuring device 72 Indianan 118 Very promising 95 __ contendere
27 Setting for protection of 76 Sri Lankan language 119 Darn or patch, say 96 Camera-lens setting
game 77 Gripes 120 Like the Capitol 97 Avian symbols of happiness
28 Fruity, spiced hot drink 79 Texting command 99 Gear for Stowe or Vail
30 Pres. after J.A.G. 80 Willowy Down 100 Part of A.D.
31 Azure expanses 82 Bioengineering, e.g. 1 Somewhat wet 101 Ashram practice, often
33 Bolt, la Usain Bolt 85 Steepness 2 Kuwaiti ruler 102 WWII General Bradley
34 Roger Clemens won it seven 86 Tallow source 3 Use beams surgically 103 iPod model
times 87 Luxuriate (in) 4 Greet the villain 104 Determine the next Twister
39 Dud 88 Suffix with micro 5 Sans self-assurance move
41 Hotel-room extra 90 Hatteras and Horn 6 Pasternak title physician 105 Footwear designer Jimmy
44 Longtime Today co-anchor 91 Holbrook of Lincoln 7 Mammoth 106 Glossary entry
45 Dead lines? 92 Fluctuate wildly 8 Lennons second wife 107 Tivolis Villa d__
46 Suffix with switch 93 Extrasensory perception, 9 Grp. of SEALs 108 Twosome
47 Plastic alternative precognition, etc. 10 Highly regarded 111 Prized person
48 Kates TV housemate 96 Boggy lowland 11 Fan favorites 112 Lode load

170 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6 The solution to last weeks puzzle appears on page 134.

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 THE APPROVAL MATRIX Our deliberately oversimplified guide to who falls where on our taste hierarchies.

highbrow

P H OTO G R A P H S : S A LVO C A N N Z Z A R O / W K CO M M O N S ( B E E ) ; L B R A RY O F CO N G R E S S, P R N T S & P H OTO G R A P H S D V S O N , C A R L VA N V E C H T E N CO L L E C T O N ( WA U G H ) ; A N D R E W TOT H / PAT R C K M C M U L L A N ( V G O DA ) ; J O H N M O O R E / G E T T Y M AG E S (C H R S T E ) ; M A R O TA M A / G E T T Y M AG E S ( B R A Z L ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F N Y P D ( A R T ) ;

T H O M A S W O L F / W K CO M M O N S ( L A S V E G A S ) ; PAT R C K T. FA L LO N / T H E N E W YO R K T M E S / R E D U X (O S C A R S ) ; J A S O N M E R R T T / G E T T Y M AG E S ( T E G E N , L E G E N D) ; N G H T S C R E A M / W K CO M M O N S ( FA R WAY ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F H B O (G A M E O F T H R O N E S ) ; R I C H A R D Y E H / W N YC ( B O OZ I N G ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F T H E A R T I S T A N D G AG O S I A N
The Rope, Iraqi scholar-
This method we novelist Kanan Makiyas
have to select razor-sharp dissection of the
presidential Good-bye, church- post-Saddam unraveling
candidates might and-state: Tribune through the eyes of a
not pick the most Publishing has fictional Shiite militiaman.
Times list of the 100 most-
qualified one combined the role read female writers in
after all. of editor and publisher college classes included
at all of its newspapers. Evelyn Waugh. For Evicted, sociologist Matthew
Boomerologists, Desmonds immersive, essential
the official Bob account of poverty in rent-is-
Dylan archives are too-damn-high America.
$2.00 DESIGNATED AREAS HIGHER 2016 W T THURSDAY, MARCH 3, 2016 latimes.com available now in
Oklahoma to
answer all of your Meanwhile, thanks to new city
questions. programs, evictions by city
A two-year-long U.N. marshals have decreased 24
report confirmed that Chris Christie couldnt percent since 2013.
bees are continuing to die, just return to quietly
endangering the human and diligently govern The trio of John
food supply. New Jersey, could he? Kings 20-minute
micro-operas
at the Wild
Project in the
East Village.

MIT interactive chart

Gregory Crewdsons of celebrity history China finally
creepy-country show starts at 4,000 BCE, makes domestic
Cathedral of the Pines shows roughly when abuse a crime.

G A L L E RY (C R E W D S O N ) ; CO U R T E S Y O F T H E B O B DY L A N A R C H I V E S ( DY L A N ) ; F R E D E R I C J. B R O W N / A F P / G E T T Y I M AG E S (C H I N A ) ; B U N D E S A R C H I V / W I K I CO M M O N S ( H I T L E R ) ; T H E L I B R A RY O F CO N G R E S S ( E I N S T E I N )
gets extended at Hitler overtook
Abe Vigoda got left Gagosian Gallery. Einstein as worlds
out of the Oscars In most famous person.
Memoriam tribute.
Ken Corbetts A Murder Over a
NYPD finds $1 million Girl parses the killing of an
Instead of simply reminding worth of pot in a package
its populace about anti- apparently transgender teen
delivered to the West
despicable

abortion laws, Brazils by a schoolmate: equal parts

Village labeled art.

brilliant
legislature proposes to courtroom drama, gender study,
make them more strict. and psychological page-turner.

The stretch of the Bronxs

Sedgwick Avenue in front Mark Rylance, Sam
of building No. 1520 gets Smith, and Ennio
renamed Hip-Hop Morricone are each now
That tone-deaf Asian Boulevard (though Kool halfway to an EGOT.
joke at the Oscars Herc Boulevard might
What are the odds? And its tone-deaf have been better).
There is a syphilis use (at least according
outbreak in Las Vegas. to Public Enemy) of Fun Home becomes
the song Fight the the first Broadway
Power. show to record a live
Spotify session.

With his single Sunday,

Taco Bells latest Iggy Pop proves
Steve Martin, on The he can still rock, even
desperate Frito-Lay Tonight Show, singing
stoner-food mash- Why are we discussing the if crawling on broken glass
fact that Chrissy Teigen and about not wanting to be onstage is a
up: Cheetos on The Tonight Show.
Crunchwrap Slider. John Legend dared to bad idea at his age.
choose their babys sex?
How dare parents play God You can buy official Game
during a God-playing The decline of of Thrones unsullied armor
procedure! Fairway, New Yorks from HBO. (Proof of being a
80-year-old grocery, eunuch not required.)
amid gourmet-
supermarket
oversaturation.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
The Manhattan district Darryl discovers hes
February was the third- attorneys office will no
biggest month on both-sexualfinally, a
There is a Kickstarter longer have to arrest non-creepy bi guy on TV.
record for gun campaign afoot to people for boozing on
background checks, fund an exhibition of the sidewalk
which means more and paintings of the Olsen
more Americans are twins hiding from the Sufjan Stevens released a Also, youll no longer
arming themselves Lena Dunham paparazzi. fifth (again, pretty be arrested for taking
(for what?). mistakenly calls out a interesting) version of his up two seats on the
Spanish magazine for song Chicago. subway.
Photoshopping her.
lowbrow
172 n e w y o r k | m a r c h 7 2 0 , 2 0 1 6
The untold true story
of the Witches of Oz

GERSHWIN THEATRE x WickedtheMusical.com