The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the sourc
e of all art and science.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit wit
h a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.
Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, i
ntoned in the distance by an invisible player.
Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that g
oes by the name of patriotism -how passionately I hate them!
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. -albert ei
nstein
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord
makes so many of them.
Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it
tried on him personally.
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tai
l a leg doesn't make it a leg
And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in y
our years.
The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
My experience has taught me that a man who has no vices has damned few virtue
s.-abraham lincoln
ok, so what's the speed of dark?
music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy-Ludwig van Beethoven
there are three kinds of people, those who can count and those who cant's
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
4 stages of life-believe in santa, not believe in santa,being a santa, looking l
ike a santa
never moon a werewolf
well-behaved woman rarely make history
lead, follow or get out of the wAY!!
tHIS IS MY CLONE,i'm actually someplace else, having amuch better time
"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."
Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure abou
t the universe."
Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein
"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot"
Short Funny Quote by, Unkown.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been m
ore specific
An alarm clock is a device that wakes you up just in time to go back to sleep."
You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try."
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much
Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a
radio.
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
hurt myself, so I can feel alive.
It s quite ironic that in life, the person that brings out the best in you and the
one that makes you strong is actually your weakness..
If I m such and important person, why do you stutter when i ask you if you know my
name?
If you love me so much, why are you walking away?
Can you give me a reason for coming out of the closet?
Your coment cheered me up.
Since when was my name on the attendance, am i really that important?
Sometimes if you love someone so much, it will actually hurt more.
Here we are! A compilation of some of Dan s best emoisms from the past week.
Life is worthless. Would you please leave me Evelyn so that I can end it all? You r
e the only reason I m living for and I wanna start dying.
Mother suspects that I m a gayer. She stormed into the room with your dress that I
had borrowed last night. I think she found it on the stairs, which is where I le
ft it after coming home drunk earlier.
I think I m dying Evelyn. I can hear the vampire bats of death flapping away in my
head like an insane drill of doom
What s the point in eating when you just end up crapping it all out anyway?
What s the point in ever trying to be happy when the very pursuit of happiness is w
hat makes you miserable.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Never eat with your mouth full.
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find tha
t he is.
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing sectio
n in a pool.
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend s forehead.
Sometimes people need what only friends can provide Absence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over the strings a
re attached.
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it s hard to tell if someon
e is inconspicuous.
Be alert the world needs more lerts.
Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.
Friends don t let friends drive naked.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move dead bodies.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Never let a computer know you re in a hurry.
With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.
To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
Anywhere is walking distance, if you ve got the time.
People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege.
Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
The average person thinks he isn t.
one b00b at hand is worth two in the bra
Never ruin an apology with an excuse
Success isn t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.
School s out, Memories past, Don t ever doubt, Our friendship will last
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone s feelings unintentionally.
- Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.
- Rose Macaulay
May your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders.
- Anonymous
Too slow to keep worms in a tin.
- Anonymous
I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you re twenty minutes.
- Oscar Wilde
The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respec
t than he exacts.
- William Hazlitt
A slander is like a hornet; if you can t kill it dead the first time, better not s
trike at it.
- H.W. Shaw
I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent me t
he insulting Christmas card I received this morning.
George Grossmith
Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like
a whipped dog.
Harold Wilson
Never insult anyone by accident.
- Robert A. Heinlein
May your arse cheeks turn into bicycle wheels and backpedal up your arse!
- Anonymous
She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.
- Oscar Levant
Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone.
- Arab Proverb
Humans only use about 1/10 of their brain power. With you, it could be less.
- Anonymous
I can t believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
- Steven Pearl
I ve had a wonderful evening but this wasn t it.
- Groucho Marx
It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that
money can buy.
Money talks but all mine ever says is goodbye =[
Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra
the strong man is not the good wrestler, the strong man is only the one who cont
rols himself when he is angry-muhammad
In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonde
r what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about
you.
And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.
<(") Penguin looking to the left. read more...
:|] Robot face. read more...
:) A happy smiley face. read more...
:( A sad and frowning smiley... read more...
:P Sticking tongue out. read more...
:D A big grin and laughing. read more...
:O Shocked and surprised. read more...
;) Winking. read more...
B) Nerdy smiley with glasses. read more...
B| Cool smiley wearing... read more...
>:( Upset and angry. read more...
:/ Unsure or doubtful emoticon. read more...
:'( Crying emoticon with tears. read more...
3:) Laughing devil emoticon. read more...
O:) A blushing angel with a halo. read more...
:* Girl sending a kiss and a... read more...
<3 A red heart emoticon. read more...
^_^ Kekeke happy emoticon. read more...
-_- Annoyed, sighing or bored. read more...
o.O Confused or WTF emoticon. read more...
>:O Upset, angry or shouting... read more...
:v A Pacman emoticon. read more...
:3 Cat faced smiley. read more...
:putnam:
Narrated Abu Bakra:
During the battle of Al-Jamal, Allah benefited me with a Word (I heard from the
Prophet). When the Prophet heard the news that the people of the Persia had made
the daughter of Khosrau their Queen (ruler), he said, "Never will succeed such
a nation as makes a woman their ruler