Death Wish-Lawrence Block

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The cop saw the car stop on the bridge but didn't think

too much about it. People often stopped their cars on the
bridge late at night, when there was not much traffic. The
bridge was over the deep river that cut the city neatly in two,
and the center of the bridge provided the best view of the
city.
Suicides liked the bridge, too. The cop didn't think of
that until he saw the man get out of the car, walk slowly
along the footpath at the edge, and put a hand on the rail.
There was something about that lonely figure, something
about the grayness of the night, the fog coming off the river.
The cop looked at him and swore, and wondered if he could
get to him in time.
He didn't want to shout or blow his whistle because he
knew what shock or surprise could do to a probable suicide.
Then the man lit a cigarette, and the cop knew he had time.
They always smoked all of that last cigarette before they
went over the edge.
When the cop was within ten yards of him, the man
turned, gave a slight jump, then nodded as if accepting that
the moment had passed. He appeared to be in his middle
thirties, tall with a long narrow face and thick black
eyebrows.
'Looking at the city?' said the cop. 'I saw you here, and
thought I'd come and have a talk with you. It can get lonely
at this hour of the night.' He patted his pockets, pretending to
look for his cigarettes and not finding them. 'Got a spare
cigarette on you?' he asked.

The man gave him a cigarette and lit it for him. The
cop thanked the man and looked out at the city.
'Looks pretty from here,' he said. 'Makes a man feel at
peace with himself.'
'It hasn't had that effect on me,' the man said. 'I was
just thinking about the ways a man could find peace for
himself.'
'Things usually get better sooner or later, even if it
takes a little while,' the cop said. 'It's a tough world, but it's
the best we've got, and you're not going to find a better one
at the bottom of a river.'
The man said nothing for a long time, then he threw his
cigarette over the rail and watched it hit the water. He turned
to face the cop. 'My name's Edward Wright. I don't think I'd
have done it. Not tonight.'
'Something particular bothering you?' said the cop.
'Not... anything special.'
'Have you seen a doctor? That can help, you know.'
'So they say.'
'Want to get a cup of coffee?' said the cop.
The man started to say something, then changed his
mind. He lit another cigarette and blew out a cloud of
smoke. 'I'll be all right now,' he said. 'I'll go home, get some
sleep. I haven't been sleeping well since my wife -'
'Oh,' the cop said.
'She died. She was all I had and, well, she died.'

The cop put a hand on his shoulder. 'You'll get over it,
Mr Wright. Maybe you think you can't live through it, that
nothing will be the same, but-'
'I'd better get home,' the man said. 'I'm sorry to cause
trouble. I'll try to relax, I'll be all right.'
The cop watched him drive away and wondered if he
should have taken him into the police station. But if you
started taking in everyone who thought about suicide, you'd
never stop. He went back towards the other side of the
bridge. When he reached it, he took out his note-book and
wrote down the name, Edward Wright. So he would
remember what the man meant, he added, Big Eyebrows,
Wife Dead, Thought About Jumping.
***
The psychiatrist stroked his pointed beard and looked
at the patient.
'... no longer worth living,' the man was saying. 'I
almost killed myself the night before last. I almost jumped
from the Morrissey Bridge.'
'And?'
'A policeman came along. I wouldn't have jumped
anyway.'
'Why not?'
'I don't know.'
The endless talk of patient and doctor went on.
Sometimes the doctor went through a whole hour without
thinking at all, making automatic replies but not really

hearing a word that was said to him. I wonder, he thought,


whether I do these people any good at all. Perhaps they only
want to talk, and need a listener.
He listened next to a dream. Almost all his patients told
him their dreams, which annoyed the psychiatrist, who never
remembered having a dream of his own. He listened to this
dream, glancing now and then at his watch and wishing the
hour would end. The dream, he knew, indicated a decreasing
wish to live, a development of the death wish, and a desire
for suicide that was prevented only by fear. But for how
long?
Another dream. The psychiatrist closed his eyes and
stopped listening. Five more minutes, he told himself, and
then this fool would leave.
The doctor looked at the man, saw the heavy
eyebrows, the expression of guilt and fear. 'I have to have
my stomach pumped, Doctor,' the man said. 'Can you do it
here or do we have to go to a hospital?'
'What's the matter with you?'
'Pills.'
'Sleeping pills? How many did you take?'
'Twenty,' said the man.
'Ten can kill you,' said the doctor. 'How long ago did
you take them?'
'Half an hour. No, maybe twenty minutes.'
'And then you decided not to act like a fool, yes?
Twenty minutes. Why wait this long?'

'I tried to make myself sick.'


'Couldn't do it? Well, we'll try the stomach pump,' the
doctor said.
It was very unpleasant, but finally the doctor said,
'You'll live.'
'Thank you, Doctor.'
'Don't thank me. I'll have to report this.'
'I wish you wouldn't. I'm... I'm under a psychiatrist's
care. It was more an accident than anything else, really.'
The doctor raised his eyebrows. 'Twenty pills? You'd
better pay me now. I can't risk sending bills to people who
may be suicides.'
***
'This is a fine gun for the price,' the clerk said. 'But for
just a few dollars more-'
'No, this will be satisfactory. I'll need a box of bullets.'
The clerk gave him a box. 'Or three boxes for-'
'Just the one.'
The shopkeeper opened a book. 'You'll have to sign
there, to keep the law happy.' He checked the signature when
the man had finished writing. 'I'm supposed to see something
to identify you, Mr Wright. Can I see your driver's license?'
He checked the license, compared the signatures, and wrote
down the license number.
'Thank you,' said the man.

'Thank you, Mr Wright. I think you'll get a lot of use


out of that gun.'
'I'm sure I will.'
***
At nine o'clock that night, Edward Wright heard his
back doorbell ring. He walked downstairs, glass in hand,
finished his drink and went to the door. He was a tall man
with thick black eyebrows. He looked outside, recognized
his visitor, and opened the door.
His visitor put a gun in Edward Wright's stomach.
'Mark-'
'Invite me in,' the man said. 'It's cold out here.'
'Mark, I don't-'
'Inside.'
In the living room, Edward Wright stared at the gun
and knew that he was going to die.
'You killed her, Ed,' the visitor said. 'She wanted a
divorce. You couldn't let her have that, could you? I told her
it was dangerous to tell you, that you were nothing but an
animal. I told her to run away with me and forget you but
she wanted to do the right thing, and you killed her.'
'You're crazy!'
'You made it look like an accident, didn't you? How did
you do it? Tell me, or this gun goes off.'
'I hit her.' Wright looked at the gun, then at the man. 'I
hit her a few times, then I threw her down the stairs. You

can't go to the police with this, you know. They can't prove it
and they wouldn't believe it.'
'We won't go to the police,' the man said. 'I didn't go to
them at the beginning. They didn't know of a motive for you,
did they? I could have told them a motive, but I didn't go,
Edward. Sit down at your desk. Take out a piece of paper
and a pen. There's a message I want you to write.'
'You can't- '
'Write I can't go on any longer. This time I won't fail,
and sign your name.' He put the gun against the back of
Edward Wright's shaking head.
'You'll hang for it, Mark.'
'Suicide, Edward.'
'No one will believe I was a suicide, note or no note.
They won't believe it.'
'Just write the note, Edward. Then I'll give you the gun
and leave you to do what you must do.'
'You-'
'Just write the note. I don't want to kill you, Edward. I
want you to write the note, and then I'll leave you here.'
Wright did not exactly believe him, but the gun at his
head left him little choice. He wrote the note and signed his
name.
'Turn round, Edward.'

He turned and stared. The man looked very different.


He had put on false eyebrows and false hair, and he had
done something to his eyes.
'Do you know who I look like now, Edward? I look
like you.
Not exactly like you, of course, but a good imitation of
you.'
'You - you've been pretending to be me? But why?'
'You just told me you're not the suicidal type, Edward.
But you'd be surprised at your recent behavior. There's a
policeman who had to talk you out of jumping off the
Morrissey Bridge. There's the psychiatrist Who has been
seeing you and hearing you talk about suicide. There's the
doctor who had to pump your stomach this afternoon. It was
most unpleasant. I was worried my false hair might slip, but
it didn't. All those things you've been doing, Edward.
Strange that you can't remember them. Do you remember!
buying this gun this afternoon?'
'You did, you know. Only an hour ago. You had to sign
for it. Had to show your driver's license, too.'
'How did you get my driver's license?'
'I didn't. I created it.' The man laughed softly. 'It
wouldn't fool a policeman, but no policeman saw it. It fooled
the clerk though. Not the suicidal type? All those people will
swear you are, Edward.'
'What about my friends? The people at the office?'

'They'll all help. They'll start to remember your moods.


I'm sure you've been acting very shocked and unhappy about
her death. You had to play the part, didn't you? You should
never have killed her, Edward. I loved her, even if you
didn't. You should have let her go, Edward.'
Wright was shaking with fear. 'You said you weren't
going to murder me. You were going to leave me with the
gun-'
'Don't believe everything you hear,' the man said, and,
very quickly, he pushed the gun into Wright's mouth and
shot him. Afterwards, he arranged things neatly, wiped his
own fingerprints from the gun and put Wright's fingerprints
on it. He left the note on top of the desk, put the
psychiatrist's business card into Wright's wallet, and the
receipt for the gun into Wright's pocket.
'You shouldn't have killed her,' he said to Wright's dead
body. Then, smiling privately, he went out of the back door
and walked off into the night.

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