Every Exquisite Thing (Preview)
Every Exquisite Thing (Preview)
Every Exquisite Thing (Preview)
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of
the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales,
or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright 2016 by Matthew Quick
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning,
uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the
publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like
to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission
must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for
your support of the authors rights.
Little, Brown and Company
Hachette Book Group
1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10104
Visit us at lbteens.com
Little, Brown and Company is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the
publisher.
First Edition: May 2016
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Quick, Matthew, 1973
Every exquisite thing / by Matthew Quick. First edition.
pages cm
Summary: Nanette OHare, a star student and athlete, is given a mysterious out-of-print
cult classic novel by her beloved teacher that sparks the rebel within her, but as she befriends
the reclusive author and attempts to insert her true self into the world with wild abandon,
Nanette learns the hard way that sometimes rebellion comes at a high price.
ISBN 978-0-316-37959-5 (hardcover) ISBN 978-0-316-37958-8 (ebook)
ISBN 978-0-316-37962-5 (library edition ebook) [1. Books and readingFiction.
2. Self-realizationFiction. 3. AuthorsFiction. 4. Teacher-student relationshipsFiction.]
I. Title.
PZ7.Q3185Ev 2016
[Fic]dc23
2015011641
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
RRDC
Printed in the United States of America
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PA R T O N E
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1
He Was an Adult and I Was Still a Kid
The last lunch period before Christmas break junior year, when
I arrived at Mr. Gravess classroom, he was full of holiday cheer
and smiling much more than usual. We had been eating alone
together for months. But for that day, his wife had baked me a
plate of Italian pizzelle cookies, which made me wonder what
Mr. Graves had been telling her about me. The cookies looked
like giant snowflakes and tasted like black licorice. We each had
one, and then Mr. Graves handed me a small box wrapped in
blue paper dotted with the white silhouettes of reindeer equipped
with enormous antlers. I had never received a present from a
teacher before. It seemed significant.
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2
Like the Story Wasnt Finished
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home, much to his horror, he realizes he didnt ask for a name and
therefore doesnt know if he had this really intimate experience
with Stella Thatch or Lena Thatch, which induces a crippling and
nauseating anxiety attackhe actually pukesbecause the twin
kept saying over and over, Please dont tell my sister about this.
Please! He realizes that he cant ask one of the twins if it was her
by the creek without risking betraying her confidence, because if
he asks the wrong twin, it would ruin everything. Its obvious
that he cant get out of his own way, but you feel really sorry for
him anyway because in his mind it is an unsolvable problem that
tortures him.
He spends months trying to figure out exactly which twin he
spoke with and waiting for her to say something to him in school
and worrying that maybe shes waiting for him to make the first
move, and hes also worrying even more that she regrets their pri
vate conversation in the woods and never wishes to speak with
Wrigley again.
Finally, after months of watching the two twins in the lunch
room, he decides that Lena is his twin, mostly because she some
times taps her foot nervously when she speaks at the table full of
popular girls, but hes not exactly sure. Furthermore, Lena has
begun carrying a handbag with an L stitched into it, which also
seems like a very good sign. Maybe shes sending him a signal
about her identity, clueing him in, he thinks.
Wrigley decides to ask Lena to the prom, telling himself that
if she says yes, he will know for sure that she was the one who
confessed to Unproductive Ted. She does say yes but seems unen
thusiastic about the proposal, which confuses him even more.
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Then he holds the kids head underwater until his friends start to
plead for their buddys life, begging Wrigley to let him breathe
again. When the h
alf-drowned kid resurfaces soaking wet, he
gasps and begs not to be held underwater again. Wrigley lets him
go, and the kids run away.
Unproductive Ted bites Wrigleys hand and removes a triangle
of skin when our hero sets the turtle upright.
As Unproductive Ted makes his escape, Wrigley bleeds and
drip-dries and curses and waits for the right twin to show up, but
she never does.
The parents of the kid he almost drowned arrive instead,
and the father throws Wrigley into the creek and starts kicking
water up into Wrigleys face, saying, How do you like being a
bully now? My son is eleven years old and half your size. Youre
a scumbag. A complete and utter embarrassment to the commu
nity. Why arent you at the prom, anyway? You already have the
tuxedo on! Its unAmerican to skip the prom. Are you a pinko
communist?
Rather than explain himself, Wrigley strips out of his prom
costume, swims into the middle of the polluted creek, where he
knows no one will follow, floats naked on his back, and says,
Now I understand, Unproductive Ted, why you sit alone on the
rock all day long doing nothing. I quit. Im just going to float
here forever and ever and ever. And then the novel ends with
Wrigley laughing maniacally as the stars begin to pop through
the night sky above.
On the Internet, there are different theories about the end
ing, but the predominant thought is that Wrigley is rejecting
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3
Youve Got to Meet Him Yourself
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too, I said. This book is me. Me. Its so much more than a
story. The author has a responsibility to provide answers. All the
answers!
Mr. Graves smiled, laughed, and said, I thought you would
like The Bubblegum Reaper. Like I saida rite of passage for
weirdos like us.
Mr. Graves was always using the word weirdo to describe him
self and people he liked. He said that all the great writers were
weirdos, toothat our best artists, musicians, and thinkers
were first labeled weird in high school or when they were young.
That was the price of admission.
Why is it called The Bubblegum Reaper, anyway? I said.
Why do you think?
I have no idea. Thats why Im asking you!
He laughed. Well, there are many theories.
I did an Internet search already. Im not buying whats out
there.
Then maybe you should ask the author yourself.
How can I do that?
Mr. Booker actually lives within walking distance of this
school. Did you know that?
Are you even serious?
Mr. Graves smiled like he had been leading me down a path
without my knowing it. And I hear that if you offer to buy him
a cup of coffee at the House, hell speak with you. Although I
should warn you that he never, ever gives a straight answer. And I
think he actually hates The Bubblegum Reaper now.
How do you know that?
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4
A Hymn to the Noble Art of Quitting
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pants that were too short at the bottom and too baggy around
the waist. His oversize c able-knit wool sweater was worn and a
bit dirty. And he had hair slicked back on the sides and poufed
up at the top like Elvisonly gray. You really want to buy this
old man coffee? he said, pointing his thumbs back at his face.
How did I get so lucky?
I nodded, and then we ordered and I paid, and we sat down.
So? he said.
I took a deep breath and said, The Bubblegum Reaper is my new
personal manifesto. I didnt know that there were other people like
me, but there obviously are. And you get it, too. Which is why
Okay, he said, and then chuckled. Thats enough of that.
I couldnt tell if he was just being modest, so I pressed on with
my questions. Why isnt it in print anymore?
Probably because it isnt very good, he said, and then laughed.
I didnt have any formal training as a fiction writer. I just had this
story in my head and I had to get it out. It was like I had a fever
one summer and the writing was the medicine. I couldnt believe it
got published, and I have no idea why I sent it to New York in the
first place. Probably a double case of temporary insanityme and
the obscure publisher, which went out of business shortly after the
book came out. Go figure. They only had time to do one moderate-
sized paperback print run. Thank God.
I had no idea what he was talking about, so I stuck to the
questions I had prepared ahead of time. Is it true that you buy
all the used copies off the Internet and burn them?
He laughed and said, I dont even have an Internet in my home.
The way he said an Internet made me believe he was telling
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the truth. You can always tell when an old person has no idea
what you are talking about, because they mess up the wording
almost as if theyre trying to defeat the thing you are discuss
ing by refusing to name it correctly. I call this technique s enior-
citizen word voodoo.
I went to my third question, saying, What happens to
Wrigley after he gets out of the creek?
Who says he ever gets out?
So he drowns?
We cant know for sure.
Why?
The story ends.
But you could write more.
No, I cant. Theres no more to write.
Why?
Just the way it is. The story ends where it ends.
I dont understand.
See that nice woman who served us our coffee?
I looked back over my shoulder at the tall cashier with the
brown ponytail and the permanent smile on her face, and I
nodded.
Her name is Ruth, Booker said. Ever see her before?
Kids my age never came into this coffee shop, so I said, No.
Maybe you wont ever see her again.
So?
You only got to see five minutes of Ruths story. And thats
just the way it is. But Ruth, well, she goes on now whether youre
looking or not. She does all sorts of things that some people see
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and some dont. But your version of Ruths story will be the five
minutes you spent buying coffee from her. Thats just the way it is.
All right, I said. But what does that have to do with The
Bubblegum Reaper? Ruth is real. Wrigleys a fictional character.
There are no such things as fictional characters.
What?
He sipped his coffee, smirked, and said, I wrote that book a
long time ago. Before you were even born. Its hard to remember
what I was thinking back then. I can hardly remember what I
was thinking this morning. You seem like an intelligent young
person. You dont need me to explain anything to you.
My head was spinning, so I went back to my prepared list of
questions. What did you mean when you said Wrigley wanted to
quit? In the book. He kept saying he wanted to quit. Quit what?
He raised his eyebrows and said, Dont you ever feel like you
want to quit doing something everyone else makes you feel like
youre supposed to keep doing? Didnt you ever just simply want
to...stop?
I dont know, I mean, I guess so, I told him, even though I
knew exactly what he meant.
A silence hung between uslike when you suddenly notice
the dust motes dancing all around you in the late-afternoon sun
and you wonder how the hell you didnt notice them before.
Why dont we talk less about my failed attempt to be a novelist
and more about you? he finally said. Are you a happy person?
Im not sure anyone had ever bothered to ask me that before,
so I said What do you mean? to buy time and think of a clever
answer.
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I asked him how to spell the last name and typed the letters
into my phone. Then I typed The Genius of the Crowd in, too,
which I later read and loved. Reading that poem was like putting
on the proper prescription glasses after bumping into walls for my
entire life. Bukowski was able to sum up precisely what I had been
feeling for many years, and he made it look so easy on the page.
Be careful with the Buks poems, Booker said that day in
the coffee shop. Powerful stuff. And pleasewhatever you d
o
dont tell your parents I told you to read counterculture poetry,
especially if theyre uptight types who send out family portraits
as Christmas cards. Definitely dont say a word about the Buk if
they make you coordinate holiday outfits. Even n
on-Christmas-
card-sending suburban parents tend to despise Charles Bukowski,
which, of course, is why so many suburban kids love him.
How did you know they do that? I asked, astonished. My
parents. The Christmas cards. Coordinating holiday outfits.
Far too often, people are woefully predictable. And I know
many things. Its a curse. Heres something else I know: You are
not doomed to be your parents. You can break the cycle. You can
be whoever you want to be. But you will pay a price. Your parents
and everyone else will punish you if you choose to be you and not
them. Thats the price of your freedom. The cage is unlocked, but
everyone is too scared to walk out because they whack you when
you try, and they whack you hard. They want you to be scared,
too. They want you to stay in the cage. But once you are a few
steps beyond the trapdoor, they cant reach you anymore, so the
whacking stops. Thats another secret: Theyre too afraid to fol
low. They adore their own cages.
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already? True friends are better than novels! Better than Shake
speare plays! Any hour of the day! Fake friends, on the other
handwell, Id rather smash open my skull with a solid-gold
Bible than endure the slow poison of a fake friend! When a few
other patrons looked over at us, Booker thumbed his nose at
them and then smiled at me.
I laughed. Is this just a way for you to get me to stop asking
questions about your book?
No, its a way to move beyond the book. The books there
stagnant. It never changes. We evolve as people. Im not the same
man who wrote that book t wenty-some years ago. And you wont
be the same girl in love with Wrigley forever.
I blushed because he was right about one thing: I absolutely was
in love with Wrigley. Id even begun hanging around the pond in
our town where turtles sun in the summer because I was secretly
hoping that Wrigley would magically show uplike I could think
him into existence, as we do when we read fiction. I felt my cheeks
burn and changed the subject by saying, So why did you agree to
meet me today? If you hate talking about your book so much?
I love free coffee in real cups and saucers, he said without
missing a beat. Buy me a cup of black and I will meet you every
single week forever and ever.
I smiled and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. What
happens when we become friends?
No way to tell now. I think we just have to give it a try and
find out. There are no guarantees when it comes to such treacher
ous things as friendship. Its a tricky business.
You were Mr. Gravess friend when he was my age, right?
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We corresponded. Yes.
Mr. Graves was one of the few adults I admired. I wanted to
do whatever helped make him the person he turned out to be.
Okay, I said. Were friends now.
Good.
And that was it.
Booker and I became friends.
We met regularlysometimes for coffee at the House, some
times in his garden, where he has a pet turtle named Don Quixote
who sits eternally between two miniature windmills that have
faces and arms holding swords, which makes Booker laugh and
laugh every time he looks at his pet, which is daily. Initially, we
didnt talk about his book even once, although I continued to
reread it dozens of times. I kept my word, even though I also kept
accidentally calling Don Quixote Unproductive Ted, which
made Booker angry. Thats not his name! hed yell whenever I
slipped up.
And if you are one of those pessimistic people who think that
an old man cant befriend a teenage girl without some sort of
perverted, deviant ulterior motive, let me end the witch hunt
right here and now. Booker was as grandfatherly as they come
and never once did or said anything inappropriate or sleazy. No
funny business at all ever went on between us. I loved him like
I loved walking through summer grass barefoot, like I loved a
warm mug in my palms, like I loved driving on a long road as
the sun sets in the distance. It was a good, safe, simple sort of
friendshipwell, at first, anyway.
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5
He Never Told Anyone Else What I Did
It was our usual lunch period, except it was Valentines Day. Mr.
Graves and I were alone in his classroom, talking about Booker.
We had turned two desks sideways and were watching a flock of
birds perching on the wires just outside the windows. We were
also laughing and smiling and trading info like old friends. He
turned to say something at the same time I did. Our faces were
so closeI could smell his aftershave and see where his razor had
irritated his neck just below his jawboneand when I looked up
into his eyes, suddenly I was full of electricity.
I didnt plan to do what I did next.
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