SEXUALITY - GOD’S GIFT

Pastoral Letter of
Most Reverend Francis J. Mugavero
Bishop of Brooklyn
February 11, 1976

Dearly Beloved in Christ :

Sexuality is one of God’s greatest gifts to man and woman. We can say
this only because sexuality “largely conditions his or her progress toward
maturity and insertion” but also because it is that aspect of personhood which
makes us capable of entering into loving relationships with others. Theology
teaches that relationship – the gift of oneself to another – is at the very heart of
God. The Father and Son give themselves totally to one another and the
mutuality of their total response in love is the Holy Spirit, binding them together.
we honor God and become more like Him when we create in our own lives the
loving, other-centered relationships which at the same time gives us such human
satisfaction and personal fulfillment.

Recently the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith issued a

Declaration on certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics to emphasize the
importance of sexuality in our lives as followers of Christ. Bishops are urged to
share the moral wisdom of the Church in a way “capable of properly enlightening
the consciences of those confronted with new situations” related to the meaning
and value of human sexuality. It is with this hope that we share these thoughts
with you, our brothers and sisters in the Lord.

Let us say clearly and without apology that chastity is a virtue which
liberates the human person. Chastity means simply that sexuality and its
physical, genital expressions are seen as good for man and woman – good in so
far as we make them serve life and love. Any of our good powers can be turned
to destructive purposes due to lack of concern, weakness, or even a well-
intentioned error. The excitement and adventure of human living is to take our
God-given talents and become someone worthwhile – lovable and loving. It
should not be surprising that the power and pleasure which are part of sexuality
will demand of us the intelligence, honesty and sacrifice that might test our
maturity to the utmost degree. But we do not fear sexuality, we embrace it.
What we fear at times is our own inability to think as highly of the gift as does the
God who made us sexual being,

Sexuality Serving Love

Sexuality is so much more than genital activity. It is an aspect of

personality which lets us enter other persons’ lives as friends and encourages
them to enter our lives. The dimension of sexuality must be developed by all
men and women not only because it is, as we have just seen, a gift making us
more like God, but is also so very necessary if we are to follow Jesus’ command
to become “lovers.” It is a relational power which includes the qualities of
sensitivity, understanding, warmth, openness to persons, compassion and
mutual support. Who could imagine a loving person without those qualities?
Our Lord Jesus Christ was fully a man – with the sexuality of a man. Some men
and women choose to conform closely to His life of celibate love in service of
fellowman and God’s Kingdom; most people will express their love of God and
neighbor through “the intimate partnership of married life and love.”

Does it appear unusual that as member of the same Church some can
embrace married love and others celibate love as expression of personal
sexuality? It did not seem contradictory to Christ, who respected and blessed
matrimony as a sacrament of His own mission as an unmarried man. Far from
condemning sexuality, He knew man and woman were created thus by God as
“very good” and may “become as one flesh” in the permanently faithful union of
married love. Neither did He discourage those who would sacrifice the genital
expression of their sexuality out of love for serving fellowman and God’s
Kingdom as priest, Religious and dedicated laity.

But if we are honest with ourselves as were the Christians who have lived
before us, each of us will recognize that it is not easy to integrate sexuality into
our lives. We all want to be loved and accepted. We want to draw close to other
people, and many of us will seek fulfillment in that special closeness which
married life should be. Helping our sexuality develop in a constructive way – in
a way which will help us gain and give the love and affection that brings
tremendous joy and peace of mind – demands that we consciously live our lives,
that we do not just “let things happen.” The relationships with other people
which can make our life full and enjoyable do not just “happen.” We are
members of a Church whose people have been part of the successes and
failures of almost two thousand years of human living. We are continually being
brought out of slavery by the loving Spirit of God. One form of slavery is the
ignorance of how to love – how to use our sexuality for giving life, for truly loving,
for deep and lasting relationships.

There may be no convincing way to say this to someone who does not
want to listen. We know, however, that the experience of countless human
beings and sound psychology support the wisdom of the Church teaching
regarding both the goodness of sexuality and the unfortunate ambiguity related
to its genital expression. Although each of us is called to live our sexuality in the
sense of the human qualities and relationships seen above, its genital
expression (physical sexual contact, arousal, orgasm) needs a special context
before it can serve human love and life generously and without deception.

Pre-Marital Relations
 Human beings can use mineral for health and strength or turn them into
bombs to kill and destroy. The pleasant smile can find its true meaning as a sign
of friendship or be used to deceive. Sexuality can find its genital expression
serving mutual love and new life in the total commitment of marriage, or it can
easily become self-serving and stripped of its true meaning. What is meant to
be the expression of deep love of a man and woman joined forever through
marriage in the service of life can be trivialized as merely a way of enjoying this
person I am with. In pre-marital intercourse the full genital expression of sexual
love is robbed of its proper context of exclusive commitment, the genuine and
permanent gift of oneself to one’s beloved, and the possibility of the couple’s
love showing itself in a stable enough environment to develop new life.

In truthful human communication, we must accept the meaning which is

present in certain actions. A warm smile and a tender embrace are universal
signs of friendship; to communicate in a human way is to be true to the meaning
of a sign when I use it in my life. As much as they might like to do so, no couple
can rewrite the meaning of sexual intercourse. It is tied to committed love; it is
tied to life-giving. When a person engages in sexual intercourse it is a sign of
giving one’s very self, whether one intends to or not. To let my actions be a sign
of self-gift if my heart knows the truth to be different is to lie.

We must pledge ourselves to be true to what is really happening. Is our

love so real that it is truly permanent, exclusively centered on this one person
with whom I wish to link my life forever, the kind of love which could some day
bring forth children as its sign? Then we are ready not for “second best” but for
the joy of marriage in Christ – not in any sense “a piece of paper from the
Church,” but a chance to stand at the altar before God and Fellowman and say
“We love one another and want our love to last forever. We ask you to respect
this, to rejoice with us, to help us keep it so.” This is Marriage in the Church.

How inadequate it would be to propose Christian marriage merely as a

solution to sexual problems or needs! Those who have grown to a point where
they can make the permanent, exclusive pledge of themselves one to other in
Christ are people who are alive with hope, signs of the wonderful “Foolishness”
of a love deep enough to face together an unknown future. They remind us that
life is neither stagnant nor finished, and their total commitment to one another in
Christ is broad enough to share someday with their own children. In the light of
this beautiful reality, do not the tentative and shallow aspects of “sleeping
together” or “living together” without the maturity of a marriage commitment
become painfully clear?

We know the pressures society and peers place on an unmarried people.

The young are made to feel “out of step” or unpopular if they avoid genital
sexuality. Loneliness and searching for something or someone can lead the
unmarried or unloved of any age to seek an answer to their pressing need in
some passing intimacy. But this is a “solution” which is short-lived. The genital
expression of sexuality is too much “myself” to let it become something common
place or shallow, to reduce the significance to “handshake,” to lose the meaning
and mystery. I am worth more than that.

Multiple Motivations

We recognize how sexual behavior is often intertwined with many other

needs, often unconscious ones. Sexual behavior can be used to express
nonsexual feelings and relationships such as the need to prove one’s identity or
self-worth, to escape from loneliness or to express strong aggressive feelings.
To deny these multiple levels of motivation in the human personality would
isolate the problems of sexuality from the whole reality of the person. Certain
inadequacies of sexual integration must be worked on from within the person
and need pastoral guidance, professional counseling, and therapy. Let us not
forget, however, that religious commitment has a tremendous influence on the
development of our sexual perception and behavior. It is this meaning in one’s
life that will enable a person to discipline himself and renounce certain
destructive types of activity. We must not, therefore, presume on grace alone to
heal what truly requires psychological counseling, nor feel that habit or emotional
problems totally excuse one from long-proven means of asceticism and spiritual
growth. Here the generosity of our response to God’s love can open us to
beneficial scientific and spiritual means to achieve greater personal integration.

The Practice of Masturbation

The practice of masturbation is a prime example of the complex nature of

sexual behavior. It may begin in adolescence as an immature expression of
“self-discovery” or enter a person life at any time for a number of reasons.

We wish to encourage people to go continually beyond themselves in

order to achieve greater sexual maturity and urge them to find peace and
strength in a full sacramental life with the Christ who loves them.

“Modern psychology provides much valid and useful information for

formulating a more equitable judgment on moral responsibility and for orienting
pastoral action . . . . In the pastoral ministry, in order to form an adequate
judgment in concrete areas, the habitual behavior of people will be considered in
its totality.”

Homosexual Orientation

The complexus of anthropological, psychological and theological

reasoning in regard to human sexuality has contributed to the Church’s teaching
that heterosexuality is normative. All should strive for a sexual integration which
respects that norm since any other orientation respects less adequately the full
spectrum of human relationships.
 Whatever the cause of the homosexual orientation, both to those who
share that orientation and to society in general there are certain cautions we
wish to put forward.

We urge homosexual men and women to avoid identifying their

personhood with their sexual orientation. They are so much more as persons
than this single aspect of their personality. That richness must not be lost.

Being subject to misunderstanding and at times unjust discrimination has

resulted in an overreaction on the part of some persons of homosexual
orientation. It is not homosexuality which should be one’s claim to acceptance or
human rights to being loved by us all; it is the fact we are all brothers and sisters
under the Fatherhood of God. Our community must explore ways to secure the
legitimate rights of all our citizens, regardless of sexual orientation, while being
sensitive to the understanding and hopes of all involved.

On a more personal level, we wish to express our concern and

compassion for those men and women who experience pain and confusion due
to a true homosexual and pastoral mean available they will recognize Christ’s
and the Church’s love for them and our hope that they will come to live in His
peace.

A Call To healing

A most important way to aid the human person achieve sexual integration
and live the virtue of chastity is to provide from life’s earliest years a loving and
secure climate. We urge parents and teachers to examine their own attitudes
toward sexuality and to set the pace for young people in developing as loving
and mature men or women.

We restate the Declaration’s plea that responsible sex education be

provided for all our people including children who should receive “information
suited to their age.” Knowing the beauty of sexuality and the wisdom of chastity
facilitates the young person’s moral growth, as encouraged by the Second
Vatican Council :

This Holy synod likewise affirms that children and young people have a
right to be encouraged to weigh moral values with an upright conscience and to
embrace them by personal choice and to know and love God more adequately.
Hence, it earnestly entreats all who exercise government over peoples or
preside over the work of education to see that youth is never deprived of this
sacred right.

We call on all men and women of good will to help create a more
wholesome climate in society. There are still so many imprisoned wither
psychically or physically in the destructive activity of prostitution. The social
problems of pornography must be challenged by community concern.
Advertising and media too often miss vital important opportunities to free the
human spirit and instead contribute to a sex-saturated atmosphere that confuses
rather than heals.

To those engaged in the ministry of healing – religious people, doctors,

psychiatrists, teachers and so many others we encourage inter-disciplinary work
to improve the quality of pastoral care and to help Christians in the delicate task
of forming their own conscience. We hope that parish communities will
cooperate in studying sexuality and chastity so these important gifts of God can
enrich us in the way He intends.

Together

We are very conscious of the fact that all of us touch one another with our
lives. What gratitude we should all have for those who have struggled with the
difficulties of sexual integration and chastity in their lives and are now witnesses
to us that it can indeed be done – that fidelity, commitment, self-sacrifice and
compassion are realities in the lives of so many. We rejoice in you and thank
you.

Yet we recognize that maturity in these areas comes only through what
for many people will be a long and demanding process growth. To our brothers
and sisters of all ages who are experiencing difficulties – to those who cannot yet
see that the personal and public commitment of marriage should be the context
for the gift of oneself in sexual relations; to those whose homosexual orientation
is causing them pain and confusion to the widowed and to the adolescent
encountering sexual needs: to those separate from their spouse by
circumstances or by divorce – to all of you we pledge our willingness to help you
bear your burdens, to try to find new ways to communicate the truth of Christ
because we believe it will make you free. We respect you in your struggle.

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus
Christ.

Faithfully yours in Christ

Francis J. Mugavero
Bishop of Brooklyn

Notes

1. Declaration on Certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics, issued

by the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Rome,
December 29, 1975, N. 1.
2. Declaration, N. 2.
3. Declaration, N. 13.
4. Mt. 22:36-40
5. Heb. 2:14-18; 4:15
6. Vatican II, The Church Today, N. 48.
7. Gen. 1, 2.
8. Mt. 19:12.
9. Evident themes in Sacred Scriptur, the Fathers, and the constant
teaching of the living Church.
10. Declaration, N. 7.
11. Vatican II, the Church Today, N. 49 and N. 50
12. Declaration, N. 9.
13. Declaration, N. 8.
14. Declaration, N. 13.
15. Vatican II, Christian Education, N. 1. Also Declaration, N. 13.