Too Consumed

(Consumed #2)

By Skyla Madi

Too Consumed
Copyright 2013 by Skyla Madi. All rights reserved.
First Print Edition: January 2014

Limitless Publishing, LLC

Kailua, HI 96734
www.limitlesspublishing.com
Formatting: Limitless Publishing
ISBN-13: 978-1494755614
ISBN-10: 1494755610
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or
distributed in any printed or electronic form without

4/723

permission. Please do not participate in or encourage

piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work
of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places,
and incidents either are the product of the authors
imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or
actual
personsliving
or
deadis
entirely
coincidental.

Dedication
For the readers who loved Seth and Olivia
and wanted more.

Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen

7/723

Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Epilogue

Chapter One
Seth
(T-minus one week until Las Vegas)
She bounces before me, her tits rising that
little bit higher every time she pushes off the
ground. It turns out, Olivia is very competitive. Jackson had bet her a hundred dollars
she couldnt land a hit on me. Determined to
prove him wrong, she dons a pair of gloves

9/723

and climbs into the boxing ring with me. Her

gorgeous green eyes flare at me from underneath her thick, dark eyelashes and she
smiles playfully before pouncing at me.
Swiftly, I step out of the way and tap her
shoulder. She whips around to face me and
her dark hair follows suit, whirling around
her sexily before gliding across the top of her
breasts. I drag my gaze from her chest to her
face. Olivias playful expression is now
pinched in frustration. She actually thought
this would be easyJackson and Darryl
laugh on the sidelines, pissing her off even
more.
You underestimate me. I chuckle at her,
bringing back her smile.
God, I love making her smile.
She pounces at me again and I sidestep,
like last time and I keep my fists up even
though I dont intend to use them on her.

10/723

Are you running from me, Seth? she

teases, trying to get a reaction out of me.
Are you scared Ill hurt you?
I cant stop the laugh that rumbles
through my chest. Im terrified.
She arches an eyebrow.
Im terrified youll hurt yourself in an attempt to hurt me.
Olivia shakes her head, narrowing her
eyes. She lunges forward, sending a very nice
jab to my mid-section, but I flick my hips
backward and her fist doesnt connect. She
has me on the back foot now and she smiles
as she springs forward. I hear Jackson swear
under his breath, but Im not sweating it. He
isnt going to lose a cent to Olivia and if shes
not careful, shes going to get me in full force
the second were out of this ring. I wrap my
arms around hers, pinning them to her side
and I smile down at her as her tiny body
struggles against me.

11/723

I feel my cock twitch and I try to calm myself by keeping my eyes on her face and not
on the voluptuous mounds that press firmly
against my chest. I dont know how she does
it, but when Im around her its like Im an
out of control teenager whos never had sex
with a girl before.
Thats not fair. She growls, dropping her
head against my chest and relaxing her body.
Jackson pulls on the thick ropes of the
ring, whooping and cheering as I bury my
nose in her hair and kiss her head.
Maybe next time, I tell her, letting her
go.
Maybe. She steps back and holds her
gloves out to me. Can you help me out of
these?
Those seven words stir something wild inside of meand I have no idea why. I narrow
it down to the fact its been a while since
weve had sex, thanks to Darryl and his rules.

12/723

I dont think I can take another minute

without putting my hands on heror in her.
I glide my tongue across my bottom lip to
moistening it, and Olivia watches closely.
The sudden pink hue in her cheeks doesnt
pass me by and I know she wants me as bad
as I want her. I tug at the tape on my hands
and un-wrap them with ease as Jackson and
Darryl leave the boxing section and enter the
training room, ready to start the rest of my
training session. Im not going in there just
yet. Im taking my girl to the shower and Im
going to take care of her. I look at O, and her
eyes lock onto mine as I pull on her gloves,
freeing her hands. She catches her bottom lip
between her teeth and inches closer, looking
up at me through dark lashes. Shes all but
begging me to take her.
I tug her hand and pull her over to the
edge of the ring. I stretch open the ropes, allowing her to slip through with ease and I
follow closely behind her.

13/723

Seth? Where are you going? Darryl calls

after me and I smile at him over my
shoulder.
Ill be out in a minute.
He swears under his breath. I put rules in
place to help you, not me.
Olivia glances over her shoulder at me and
I nod for her to keep walking.
Despite Darryls protest, I follow her to
the female shower room. Inside, we enter a
stall and lock it behind us. When were alone
in the gym, we shower in the open, but when
there are other people around we shower in
the stallseven if its only Jackson and
Darryl outside. I like that most about Olivia.
She respects herself and me. The girls Im
normally around were usually quick to flash
their tits to anyone that walked by, but not
my Olivia.
Shes first to shed her clothing and I watch
closely as she pulls her sports bra over her
head, exposing her hard, pink nipples. It

14/723

takes all of my strength to remain leaning

against the wall and not to descend hungrily
upon her, taking her hard, alluring peaks in
my mouth. My gaze drops from her breasts
to her hips as her fingers curl around her
tiny, black shorts. I watch as she drags them
down her long legs. My stare flits over her
body, unsure what to focus on first. I enjoy
all of itevery pore, every hair follicle and
freckle. Its mine.
She reaches for the cold tap and turns on
the shower. Her entire body tenses as she
stands directly under the cool stream.
Youre having a cold shower? I ask, unable to hold the snicker.
She shudders, letting the cold streams run
down her body and making my blood burn.
Well, yeah, how else am I going to make
it through the day?
Goosebumps erupt over the surface of her
skin, forcing her nipples to pebble. Ready to
join her, I roughly tug my pants down and

15/723

immediately I see her eyes drop to my

length. Im so hard it aches all over, but I
dont attempt to hide it from her. Her eyes
flick to mine as she reaches for the shower
handle and nudges it, making it that extra
degree colder.
Its pointless for me to have a shower now,
when I get out Ill have to start my other half
of training, but I want to please herto satisfy herbefore she leaves here today. I
saunter over to her and even over the roar of
the shower I hear her breath catch in her
throat. She trembles ever so slightly as I
reach around her, inching the shower hotter
and hotter, until steam begins to fill the stall
around us. I want her hot and flustered. I
want her to beg me to fuck her and to make
her come. I lean in close, pressing every inch
of my body against hers until her back is
pressed firmly against the cold concrete. I
lower my mouth to her neck, licking her
slowly.

16/723

Please, Seth, she moans in my ear.

Fucking hell.
I pull back to look her in the eyes and rest
my forehead against hers. Water streams
over our heads, trailing down our skin and
flowing off the sharp edges of our faces. Her
green irises burn at me from underneath her
dark lashes and theyre begging me to devour
her as her hands glide up the ridges of my
arms and over my shoulders before stopping
around my neck. Slowly, she moves her
mouth toward mine and when her supple,
pink lips press against me, I lose it. I need to
have her and no rules are going to stop me. I
force my tongue between her lips and she
willingly opens her mouth. She roughly rakes
her fingers through my hair, urging me
harder against her and I slide my hands
down the curve of her hips, gripping her bare
ass. She moans into my mouth as she hitches
a delicious thigh around my hip. My cock

17/723

presses eagerly against her warm, slick slit

and theres no way Im going to stop now.
Do it, she gasps against my lips, flexing
her hips toward me. Please, just do it.
You want it? I ask her, smiling. You
want to feel me inside you?
Yes, she breathes, catching my lip
between her teeth. Now.
I reach down and position myself right
where I want to be and I enter her slowly,
knowing that if I go too fast this will all be
over before it even begins. She feels so
goodbeyond goodand a low, guttural
moan releases itself from my throat. I feel
the walls of her soft pussy squeeze the very
tip of my cock and it pulses in response. Its
been too long since Ive indulged in her.
Seth? A familiar deep voice echoes
around the room and Olivia releases my lip
as her body goes rigid.

18/723

I shut my eyes briefly, begging Godor

whoever the fuck was listeningto make
Darryl go away.
Theres an MMAC promoter here. He
wants to talk to the owner and the manager
of the gym about advertising. Darryl calls
over the roar of the shower and Olivia bites
her bottom lip against a giggle as a pink hue
flashes across her cheeks. So both of you animals need to put some clothes on and get
out here.
With a heavy exhale I reach around her,
turning the hot tap off and submerging us
both in cold water. The water connects with
my flesh and Olivia and I jump, pressing
ourselves harder against each other as the
water washes our heated session down the
drain, taking my erection with it. Well, it was
fun while it lasted. A wide smile spreads over
Olivias lips and her hands shoot up to cover
it as giggles erupt from her. I guess were going to have to wait.

19/723

***
We emerge from the shower room, our
fingers tightly laced together and when we
enter the main room, Darryl gives us a quick
once over with a small shake of his head.
Olivias fingers tighten around mine and I
glance down at her. She looks up at me
briefly, flashing me an uneasy, embarrassed
smile. In response, I give her my best we
didnt do anything wrong smile and she
nods ever so slightly. Fuck Darryl for making her feel so uncomfortable.
Seth Marc?
My gaze falls onto the tall guy in the suit
who called my name. He quickly moves toward us, giving Olivia an overt twice over
that makes me clench my jaw. He reminds
me of Masonblue eyes, golden hair, and
clearly interested in my girl. The man

20/723

extends his hand to me and I reluctantly pull

away from Olivia to shake it.
Im Mike Sullivan. Its nice to finally
meet you, Seth.
When hes finished with me, he moves on
to Olivia.
You must be Miss James. He greets her,
pulling her hand into his and giving it a long,
slow shake.
My eyes flick onto Darryl, whos regarding
me with clear warning in his eyes and I
frown at him. He needs to relax. Im not going to hurt this guy for shaking Olivias hand,
but if he looks at her like that again I cant
make any guarantees.
Its a pleasure to meet you, he says,
dropping her hand. I wanted to talk to you
both about your advertising campaign. Now,
I know this gym is Seth Marcs official gym,
but the MMAC wants the whole world to
know that. Outside in the truck I have one
billboard, two banners, six life-sized cut outs,

21/723

and hundreds of flyers. All I need from you

two is a signature and well start setting it all
up today.
I dont think Seth needs big pictures of
himself everywhere. Jackson snickers,
strolling over from the training room.
Beside me, Olivia laughs once. Jacksons
right, she says, lacing her fingers with mine
again. Seths ego is high enough.
I roll my eyes as everyone chuckles at my
expense. I dont have a high ego. Im just
confident. I know what I want and how to get
it, thats all. Sue me. Mike hands Olivia a
clipboard and a pen and she signs it. I do the
same, and Mike exits the gym to tell the guys
to bring in the stuff.
Olivia turns to me. I have to go help Mom
with a few things around the house, but Ill
see you tomorrow?
She seems almost disappointed and I
smile. She hates leaving me for entire nights

22/723

at a time, but we made the decision to not

sleep at each others housesfucking Darryl.
Definitely.
She glances sideways at Darryl and then
back at me before reaching up and planting a
soft kiss on my cheek. My eyes narrow as she
turns away. What the fuck was that? If Im
not seeing her until tomorrow theres no way
shes getting away with a pussy kiss like that
one. If Im going to stay away, I need a kiss
that will keep me sated. I snatch at her, my
fingers wrapping around her tiny elbow, and
I force her back to me. She doesnt have time
to react before I slam my mouth against hers.
Instantly, she melts against me, running her
hands around my neck and into the base of
my hair. I lick her lip and with a small smile,
she opens her mouth to me. Blood rushes to
my head as her tongue slides against mine,
massaging me with confidence, like no one is
watching. Keeping in mind that people are in

23/723

fact watching, I pull away with the smallest

nip to her bottom lip and lean into her ear.
If you need me later, call me.
Her hands slide down my neck and across
my chest before gliding up and down my
arms. Her touch electrifies methe things I
would do right now if no one was watching.
I always need you, she replies, her voice
barely a whisper. But were doing this for
Darryl.
She kisses my cheek and turns away from
me. I place my hands on my hips and unashamedly watch her back, her ass, and her
legs as she walks away. Shes mineand I
cant even have her.
Mike comes back through the door as
Olivia exits and he glances over his shoulder
at her ass for a second too long. Ive never
been jealous before, but theres no doubt in
my mind that the possessive anger twisting
deep in my chest is exactly that. I step

24/723

forward, but Darryls voice stops me in my

tracks.
Seth, dont.
Mike approaches me, oblivious to my aggressive stance and I clench my jaw. Theres
a small smile on his lips and I want to smash
it through his skull. I imagine smacking him
around a little bit, until hes crying and begging me to leave him alone. And then Ill hit
him some more.
Do you like to box, Mike? I ask, my fingers flexing involuntarily at my sides.
Beside me, I hear Jackson chuckle and
swear under his breath.
Mike glances awkwardly around the gym
and his Adams apple bobbles up and down
as he swallows hard. Uh, sure. When I have
time.
My lips twitch as he gives me the exact answer I want. Do you want to spar with me?

25/723

Seth, Darryl warns me again, but I pretend I dont hear him. Theres no harm in a
little friendly sparring, right?
Mike checks his watch. Uh, I guess we
have a little time.
I pivot on my heel and saunter over to the
ring, trying my hardest not to appear too
eager to box this fucking guy into the
ground.
Seth, you have a full half of training to
get through and youve already sparred
today, Darryl says, following closely behind
me.
I ignore him again. He isnt going to talk
me out of this. Ill only hit him twiceonce
for giving Olivia a creepy twice over right in
front of me and once for shamelessly looking
at her ass, again right in front of me.
Mike sheds his jacket and Jackson helps
him into a pair of gloves. I grab my own
gloves and slip them on as Darryl leans into
me.

26/723

Seth, youre wasting energy. Who cares if

he looked at your girl, shes beautiful, its going to happen, he says, his voice hushed so
Mike doesnt hear.
I know that, I reply. But if someone is
going to look at my girl while Im holding her
hand and he can clearly see shes mine, then
there are consequences. To me, disrespect
doesnt come any clearer than that.
Do you hear yourself? You sound crazy.
I laugh once. Sometimes I wonder if
Darryl knows me at all. I am crazy, Darryl.
Now, you either let me smack this guy or Im
going home to Olivia to break your rule six
times in a row.
His thick, dark eyebrows rise to his hairline. Six times? Really, Seth? Darryl
pinches his thin nose. Youre a piece of
work, you know that?
You love it. I smile, sliding into the ring.
Two hits. Thats it.

27/723

I nod and he hands me my head gear, but

I dont take it. This guy wont get a hit on me.
Wear your gear, Darryl demands, but I
shake my head.
I shrug him off. Dont need it.
He swears under his breath, dropping the
head gear and mouth guard before storming
away. Poor Darryl, hes always putting up
with my shit. I bring my attention to the ring
and watch as Jackson holds open the ropes
while Mike climbs in. He has his full gear on
and I smile because hes definitely going to
need it. I put my fists up and he follows suit.
Ive never seen a more unintimidating opponent in my life.
I take my steps slow, inching closer to him
and analyzing his face. His blue eyes are narrowed in on me, determined to get at least
one hit. Abruptly, I launch forward, catching
him off-guard and slamming my gloved fist
into his stomach. Air flies from his lungs and
he hunches over with a loud grunt. I step

28/723

back, giving him time to catch his breath. His

face turns red as he struggles to refill his
lungs and I smile. I actually fucking smile at
his pain. Jackson is on the sideline laughing
his ass off and slapping the ring with the
palms of his hands. Jackson loves this because hed do the exact same thing for
SelenahellJackson would have punched
Mikes teeth through his head if his eyes
lingered on his girls face for a second too
long. Hes protectiveborderline controllingand thats not just in general, but
when it comes to sex as well. Ive seen his
bedroom, the weird straps and chains and
whipsit scares the shit out of me. Im all for
taking control in the bedroom and getting
what I want, but Jacksonhe needs it. If he
isnt in control he cant handle it and he cant
finish.
Mike straightens his posture and brings
his fists back up to his face. I didnt see that
coming He groans.

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That was the point. I smile, lurching forward again. I swing my fist and it connects
with the side of his face. With a grunt, his
head is tossed to the side and he falls flat on
his ass. Well that was quicker than I expected. I pull my gloves off and toss them
across the ring. Despite my disgust with
Mike, I extend my hand and help him to his
feet. Im not a total asshole. He cringes,
shaking his head and clasping his stomach.
I guess this is the reason why Im on the
promoting side of the MMAC, he jokes with
a nervous chuckle.
Yep. I drop his hand and turn from him.
For a second, I wish he was a fighter. Then I
could go against him and punish him to my
full potential. Hes lucky I hit him with my
full-pad gloves on.
I slip from the ring, letting Mike gather
his broken pride in peace. Then he needed to
get back to work so he can finish quickly and

30/723

get the hell out of my gym. I cant promise

Ill go so easy on him next time.

Chapter Two
Olivia
(T-minus six days until Las Vegas)
I tap my fingers along my arm, waiting for
my alarm to go off. Ive been up for a while,
and if Im being honest, I dont think I had
much sleep last night. Since the gym with
Seth (more specifically, the shower room),
my brain and my body have been conspiring
against me. My brain refuses to dish out any

32/723

rational thoughts or responses and the only

thing Ive managed to think about is Seths
hard body and hardeverything else. As for
my body, I cant keep still. It constantly has
me moving and squirming, working with the
less-than-wholesome thoughts my brain
comes up with. My alarm blares its annoying
beep and I roll over and slapping the stop
button.
Can girls get blue balls? I roll my eyes at
myself, there I go again. In a huff, I sit up
and push the blanket down my legs. I rake
my fingers through my hair and then over
my face. Seth told me to call him if I need
him (and boy, do I need him) but I cant, for
Darryls sake. Darryl wants one last shot at
training Seth his way before the MMAC officials start dictating the way he trains Seth. I
dont want to be the one to take that away
from him. Besides, its only three more
weeks until his fight and then Seth and I can
do whatever the hell we want to each other.

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Oh, the endless possibilities. Vividly in my

mind, I run my tongue up his chest, feeling
all of his muscles tremble beneath my
mouth. A soft knock taps on my bedroom
door, startling me from my thoughts. I shake
my head. I barely made it two seconds before I started thinking about him again. I
slide from my bed and stretch my hands up
to the ceiling, arching my back like a cat.
Come in. I yawn, dropping my arms and
pulling my tiny shirt down.
It does nothing to really cover my belly
button and if I lift my arms any higher, Im
sure the bottoms of my breasts will pop out.
Moms face peers around the edge of my
door and she smiles warmly at me. I made
breakfast.
As she finishes her sentence, the delightful smell of butter and fresh toast filters into
my nostrils, making my stomach grumble. I
smile back at her.
You didnt have to do that.

34/723

Mom is slowly coming back to herself.

After the unexpected death of my father
eight weeks ago, things got pretty hectic with
Mom. With every passing day she began to
breakjust a chip at a timeuntil she emotionally broke down. For her, I moved back
in. The thought of her alone in the family
home with all of the photos and memories of
her dead husband crushed me. It isnt all
selfless; moving back in also helped Seth
keep his hands off me, although theres been
more than one occasion where hes forced
himself on me with my mother in the next
room.
Ill make my bed and be right out.
With a swift nod, she closes the door. I
pull my hair over one shoulder and tap my
index finger on my bare hip as I glance
around the room. Maybe today is the day I
take all of my things out of their boxes. All of
my big items, like my fridge, bed, and
couches are currently sitting in a storage

35/723

shed somewhere, but everything else is

packed in boxes and stacked in this room.
Theres no space for anything and I have no
idea where to start. I exhale and shrug my
shoulders. Ill deal with the boxes tomorrow,
I think for the fifth consecutive day in a row.
I stroll from my room, enjoying the feel of
the cool tiles on the base of my warm feet as
I enter the dining room and drop into a
chair. Mom definitely went overboard this
morningfruit salad, yogurt, toast with
melted butter, pancakes, and various cereals.
Expecting company? I ask, reaching for
a bowl.
No, but I figured we could take our time
and chat, you know, like we used to when
you were younger.
Although I have things to do, I scoop fruit
salad into my bowl anyway. Sounds good.
A wide smile curls her lips and she pulls
two pieces of buttered toast onto her plate.
So, how are things with the gym?

36/723

I almost flinch. Mom never talks about the

gym, in fact, whenever Seth and I discuss it,
she leaves the room.
Good, I say cautiously. Theyre putting
Seths billboards up today.
And how are things with him?
I put a piece of fresh, juicy apple in my
mouth. Great. Hes training for his first pro
fight in Vegas.
As I finish my sentence, theres a knock at
the front door and Mom rises to her feet.
I hope thats the delivery man with the
new set of curtains I ordered online. They
were meant to be here two days ago.
She disappears around the corner and I
hear the front door open. The deep voice that
rumbles through the house and sticks to me
like humid air on a hot summers night is
definitely not the voice of a delivery man, but
the voice of the man that has kept me sexually frustrated for the past few weeks. Mom
comes back into the kitchen and sure

37/723

enough, Seth is trailing behind her. I abruptly close my lips around a slice of mango
to stop from gasping out loud. He still has
that affect on meSeth has one of those
faces that make your heart stutter and stop
before picking up speed at an erratic pace.
His gaze falls onto me and then drops to my
tiny shirt. He flicks the thin toothpick over
his bottom lip before they curl into a lopsided smirk and I subtly cross my arms over
my chest as my nipples harden. Suddenly, I
feel very exposed in my short top and tiny
satin shorts.
Look who has joined us for breakfast,
Mom deadpans.
Shes never happy with Seths random appearances, even when he brings her flowers
on Saturdays.
Dont worry about her, I tell him, laughing. Shes just upset youre not a pair of
curtains.

38/723

Seth chuckles as he lowers himself into

the seat next to me.
Are you hungry, Seth? Mom asks. Ive
made more than enough food.
Seths eyes scan the table and I know hes
fighting the urge to respond with an obvious,
smart ass comment. Instead of antagonizing
my mom this early in the morning, Seth removes his toothpick and says. A little more
fruit wouldnt hurt.
I slide my bowl over to Seth and grab another one, filling it with fruit for myself. The
kettle clicks in the kitchen and Mom turns
her back to us to prepare a coffee. The moment her back is turned, I feel Seths rough
hand on my inner thigh sliding higher and
higher until the very tips of his fingers brush
against my warm center. White-hot arousal
surges through me and I almost choke on my
mango. Mom glances over her shoulder, but
Seth doesnt remove his hand as he brings a

39/723

glass of water to his mouth and I hear him

quietly chuckle into his glass.
Chew your fruit, Olivia, she tells me,
turning back to her coffee.
Seths finger curls around the hem of my
shorts and stops abruptly when he realizes
Im not wearing underwear. He lowers his
glass.
Crap.
The boxes in my room have blocked my
underwear drawer and I used my last pair of
available clean ones yesterday. Truth be told,
when I decided to skip on underwear last
night after my shower, I wasnt expecting
Seth to show up at breakfast and try to
stroke me while my mothers back is turned.
I glance sideways at Seth and hes staring at
me, his eyes thinned into lusty slits. His
tongue flicks out to moisten his bottom lip
and I find myself staring at it, watching it
closely. If I could just feel that tongue
between my legs for five minutes

40/723

What are your plans today? he asks me,

his eyes flaring.
I look at his eyes. Fuck. I wasnt planning
on seeing Seth until late this afternoon so I
made plans to go down to Masons office to
pick up my last paycheck from months ago.
Uh I drop my sight to my bowl and
shovel fruit into my mouth. Seth grows
weary as I chew and swallow, buying myself
more time. I was planning on going down to
Masons office and picking up a few of my
things. I tell him like its no big deal.
Seth frowns, taking his hand away from
me and I feel strangely bare without his fingers there. A few of your things?
I swallow hard, hoping it doesnt betray
the anxious feeling I have inside. Yes, Ive
been ignoring him for the last eight weeks,
just like you wanted me to, but I need my
last paycheck and theres a photo of Dad I
had on my desk that I would like back.

41/723

Mom glances over her shoulder at us,

eavesdropping. I really dont want to have
this conversation around her. I know how
Seth feels about Mason. Weve had this
discussion a million times before, and according to him, he isnt worried Ill sleep
with Mason, hes worried Mason will sleep
with melike that makes any sense. I slide
my chair back.
Im going to get dressed, Mom, and then
Ill come back and have some more food.
I slip past Seth, and as I stroll up the hallway, I hear his chair screech against the
floor. I squeeze my eyes shut briefly. Here
we go. I enter my room and Seth follows
closely behind, shutting the door behind
him. I walk straight over to my drawers and
pull out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt while he
pushes my boxes aside and searches in the
mess of fabrics for a pair of underwear and a
bra.

42/723

I wait patiently as he pushes past all of my

lacy pretties and eventually throws me a
black, cotton pair of underwear. I try not to
smile at the fact that he chose the least revealing pair of underwear that I own.
Fucking Seth.
He leans against the wall, his leg bent at
the knee and watches as I clip my bra around
my stomach and pull my shirt off over my
head. I quickly pull the bra up and slip my
arms under the straps, adjusting it so it sits
comfortably.
Do you want me to come with you? he
asks.
No, Seth, you dont need to come with
me. Darryl will be pissed if youre late for
training.
He crosses his arms. And if Mason wants
you to go back and work for him?
I slip my shorts down, ignoring the way
Seths eyes rake me.

43/723

Ill tell him no thank you, I already have a

job and it allows me to stare at a certain
sweaty, sexy man that Im particularly fond
of all day.
His lips twitch and he pushes off the wall,
sauntering closer to me. I feel my insides
ripple with every step and my entire body
tightens. I just want him to touch me, for
Christs sake! Is that so hard?! That does
sound like a good job. He smiles, sliding his
hands onto the nape of my neck.
The best, I say, pressing my lips to his.
He groans, sliding a hand down my neck,
down my navel and into my underwear. My
breath hitches as his rough fingers press
against my warmth and instantly, my new
underwear is soaked. He pulls back, his eyes
smoldering at me.
What are the odds of your mother walking in while I take care of you? My, my,
there is a God after all.

44/723

Theres a soft rap of knuckles on the door

and Seth exhales, removing his hand and
stepping back. Calm down girls, false alarm.
There isnt a God.
Olivia, I also made smoothies. Moms
voice calls through the wood. Smoothies?
Now? I choke on a laugh as I pull a new shirt
over my head. Thanks, Mom!
God, she can be so awkward sometimes. I
push my legs into my jeans, pull them up and
button them. I reach for a hair tie off of my
dresser and pull my hair up into a messy bun
as I step past Seth and stroll from the room.
Seth follows me, a little too closely for me to
think straight and when we sit back in our
seats, he leans across and kisses my cheek. I
dont want to smile, but I cant help it and I
end up grinning from ear to ear like the
freaking Cheshire cat. Mom regards us curiously from across the table. So I take it you
two are still going okay?

45/723

Seth laughs, slinging an arm over my

shoulder. Dont look too down, Mrs. James.
Im not going anywhere.
Mom sips at her coffee, narrowing her
eyes at him over the rim of her cup. Mom
plays all cranky and hard-to-please when it
comes to Seth, but deep down she loves him.
She has tobecause Dad did.
Okay, I sigh, after twenty minutes of silent eating. I have to go down to Masons office and pick up a few things. When I come
back, we can work on the garden, if you
want.
Mom nods eagerly and a smile curls at her
lips. That would be wonderful. I bought
these pink petunias and theyll look gorgeous
in the front garden.
Dad always wanted to put pink petunias in
the front garden, but Mom hated the thought
of the pink clashing with her yellows. Now
that hes gone, she wants to put the pink in
the frontmaybe its to honor his memory,

46/723

or maybe its because she feels guilty. Either

way, Im glad the thought of putting them in
the front garden makes her happy. I push out
from my chair and Seth follows suit.
Ill walk you to your car. He tells
menot offers.
Sure.
I slip into a pair of sandals by the door
and pull my car keys off the hook. Seth holds
the door open for me and I step out onto the
patio. The morning air is refreshing and the
golden, low-lying sun warms my skin while
the cool breeze skims across it.
You dont have to go, you know. I could
go down for you after training.
I laugh once at Seth wracking his brain to
come up with anything to stop me from going down there. Yeah, I can see that ending
well.
His fingers lace with mine and we walk
hand in hand down the crunchy, pebble
path. Tension radiates off of him in wavesI

47/723

can see it in the way he walks and feel it in

the extra-tight grip he has on my hand.
Look, Seth, I know how you feel about
Mason, but you need to relax. Im going to be
there five minutes tops.
His eyes search mine and after a couple
long seconds, he drags in a deep inhale, expelling it from his nose. Fine, but call me
when youre done. Maybe we can grab
lunch.
What about Darryl and training?
Darryl has Seth training three times a day
on most days now. It leaves little time for us
to spend time togetherthats probably all
part of Darryls sick plan, too.
He shrugs. Dont worry about that, Ill
sort it out.
I reach up and plant a quick kiss on his
lips. Before I pull away, his fingers unexpectedly dig into the small of my back and he
pulls me hard against him. His mouth drops
to my neck and he pulls the skin between his

48/723

full lips, sucking hard and eliciting an unintentional moan from me. The skin begins to
sting and then it hits me, and I pull away abruptly. Seth releases me with an amused
quirk of his lips and I take a few steps back.
Are you kidding me? I gasp, clenching
my neck.
He runs his tongue over his bottom lip,
like Im the most delicious thing he has ever
tasted. What?
What? I mock him, making him smile at
me. Its one of those Ill do whatever the
fuck I want and you cant do a damn thing
about kind of smiles. Its the kind of smile
that penetrates fabric and licks you right
where your thighs meet, and its because of
that smile I cant be mad at him for wanting
to leave his mark right where Mason will see
it.
You are such an animal, I protest, unsure how to react to him and his blatant
possessiveness.

49/723

Thank you.
I glare at him, but its a confused glare
that battles against a smile. It wasnt a
compliment.
He flicks an eyebrow. I disagree.
I whirl around on my heel, push through
the side gate and onto the driveway. Seth
leans against the small, white gate and
watches me as I get in my car, clip in my
seatbelt, and start her up. Before I put it in
reverse and leave, I wind down my window.
Are you going to the gym now? I ask out of
curiosity.
If I need anything from him later, itll be
easier for me if I know where he is.
He smiles, running his fingers through his
hair. I will in a little bit. I thought Id hang
around here and annoy your Mom for a little
while longer.
I roll my eyes and shake my head. See
you.

50/723

I back down the driveway and he waves

once before I turn the corner and zoom
away.
***
It feels weird driving to Masons office. It
has been such a long time since Ive been
anywhere near it. I purposely avoid it for fear
of running into him. We ended things on bad
termsand considering Im still doing the
things that caused us to fight in the first
place I dont think this is going to be easy. I
pull up out front, happy theres a parking
space available. I check my neck in the rearview mirror and I sigh in relief when I see
the love bite fading. I take a few moments to
group my thoughts. I dont know why I feel
so nervousthen again, maybe its not
nervesmaybe its guilt. I feel guilty because
I was such a shit employee. I was a great employee before a certain someone came along.

51/723

I arrived at work at the right times and never

skipped daysthen I met Seth and he turned
my world upside down. I let him consume
me, I let him take over every aspect of my life
and I loved it. I love the way he makes me
feeltaking a chance with him was worth
more to me than working a nine to five job.
I let my head fall back against the headrest and take two deep breaths. Might as
well get this over and done with. I unclip my
belt and climb out of the car. Ten minutes, I
tell myself. Ten minutes and then Im out of
there.
Olivia? Masons voice rings through my
ears and I turn abruptly, almost falling
against my car. Im so not prepared for this.
Hes about to enter his office with a small
coffee in his hand and I wave sheepishly at
him. I force my legs one in front of the other
and manage to walk around my car and step
onto the sidewalk. I cant say I wasnt hoping

52/723

hed be out and Id only have to deal with his

receptionistshit happens, I guess.
Hey, MasonI came to grab a few of my
things, I say, nervously fingering the hem of
my shirt.
He looks nice in his light grey suit with a
bright blue tie, tied right to the top button.
He smiles and I think its both genuine and
forced, if thats even possible. Sure, come on
in.
My sandals slap the concrete as I follow
him into his office. My gaze drags over the
familiar surroundings before settling on my
old desk. An uncomfortable twinge of nostalgia rolls through me and I ball my hands into
anxious fists. Maybe I do miss working
here
Fae, this is Olivia. Shes your predecessor, Mason informs her with a playful
smile.
I look at the tiny girl behind the desk. Fae
is a suitable name for her appearance. Shes

53/723

tiny, with golden hair and a small, pointy

noselike Tinkerbell. She glances up at me
through her short bangs.
Dont worry, I tell her, rubbing my moist
palms on my jeans. If youre showing up on
timeor at allthen youre already doing
better than me.
She curls a stray hair over one ear sheepishly and chuckles, clearly nervous about my
sudden arrival.
Any patients? Mason asks her and Fae
shakes her head.
Not for another half hour.
Mason signals for me to follow him into
his office and I smile at Fae before slipping
into the room and closing the door behind
me. Without looking at Mason, I drop into
the seat across from his desk. Thankfully, he
sits in his chair behind the table and not on
the edge of his desk, like he used to.
Howve you been? he asks, not making
eye contact and I wonder if he actually cares.

54/723

I entwine my fingers, not relaxed enough

to lean back against the chair. Good, Ive
been good. How about you?
He shrugs. Im doing all right.
An awkward silence fills the room and I
watch him until he finally lifts his azure eyes
from his desk to my face. Hows your
mom?
I cringe inwardly at the stilted conversation unfolding between us, but I power
through it, hoping it ends up where I get my
stuff and leave.
Shes doing better now that Ive moved
back in with her.
Oh, good.
He leans back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair. Im really sorry to
hear about your fatherwhen I read it in the
newspaper, I couldnt believe it.
Thanks, it was a shockbut were dealing
with it.
He nods. And Seth? Are you two still

55/723

Yes, Seth and I are still very

muchtogether.
Mason shakes his head slightly and I
frown. Whyd he think I came here? To beg
for my job back? To tell him I was wrong
and I shouldve chosen him over Seth?
I only came to collect my things, Mason.
And thats it? No apology? Nothing?
Youve been avoiding my calls for the last
eight weeks, but I get the feeling that has
nothing to do with you.
I exhale. Hes right. Mason didnt do anything to me. I was the one who wronged him.
Sorry, Ive been busy managing the gym and
you know how Seth is, especially with
youI
Seth is but an over-confident playboy,
Olivia. Im not scared of him. He cant tell
you who you can and who you cant talk to. I
may have been your boss, but I was also
youre friendI am your friend.

56/723

I pull my bottom lip between my teeth.

Mason cant be my friend. I cant exactly see
us going for coffee or going shopping togetherat least not without jeopardizing my relationship
with
Seth.
Mason
also
hashadromantically feelings towards me,
making any kind of relationship with him
unattainable. I had to close this chapter of
my life. In order to move forward with Seth,
Mason and my old life has to go.
Mason, Im sorry I chose Seth over my
job and Im sorry I abandoned you and this
practice, but so far that decision has led me
to where I am nowand I like where I am.
Disappointment flashes across his features and it frustrates me. Why cant he ever
make things easy for me? What more does he
want me to say?
I hate seeing you do this to yourself, he
admits, sending sharp arrows of frustration
right into the pit of my stomach. Your relationship with Seth is a ticking time bomb.

57/723

You know it, I know iteveryone knows it.

Youre wasting your time.
I scoff, Im wasting my time with Seth?
No. Im wasting my time here with you.
Every millisecond Im with him is time well
spent. He makes me happy, Mason, the happiest anyone has ever made me. Doesnt that
matter to you? You claim to be my friend yet
you only take your own happiness into consideration, not mine. I know exactly what
kind of person Seth is. I know what hes done
and how he is, but that doesnt make me love
him any less.
Mason pinches the bridge of his nose
briefly before pushing up from his chair. He
turns and opens the cupboard above his
head. Reaching inside, he pulls out a small
green box and shuts the door. Before handing it to me, he taps his fingers on the side of
it, like he wants to say something else. Deciding against it, his brows furrow and he
slides the box across his desk. There are

58/723

your things. The picture of your dad, a few of

your receipts, your paycheck and a lip gloss.
I grab the box and pull myself to my feet. I
take one step towards the door and Masons
voice stops me in my tracks.
Ill be waiting for you to tell me that Im
right, and you will, eventually.
I snap my head to look him dead in the
eyes. His eyes are light, almost apologetic
and I glare at him. Dont hold your breath.
I storm the last few steps toward the door
and pull it open. Without a glance in Faes
direction, I march from the office and out into the street. I dodge around an old woman
pushing a shopping cart and unlock my car
before dropping into the drivers seat and
slamming the door.
Asshole! I shout, slapping the steering
wheel with the palm of my hand.
How am I supposed to have a positive outlook on my relationship when everyone else
is so damn negative? All I want is for

59/723

someone to be happy for melike Dad was

or Selena is. I cant give everyone what they
want. I cant make everyone happy so what
the fuck am I meant to do? How can I be
happy when people refuse to let me? I drag a
slow inhale through my nose and expel it at
the same speed. I pull my phone from my
pocket and decide to skip a phone call to
Seth. If he finds out Mason upset me, hell
probably come down here and do God knows
what, so I send him a text instead.
TO: SETH. TIME: 8:00 A.M.
Done. On my way home to help Mom.
Ill call you later.
Love you.
xx
I drop my phone into a cup holder and put
my keys in the ignition. As I pull away from
my old workplace, I cant help but feel a little
relief under the huge pile of worry and guilt.

60/723

Ive officially closed the Mason chapter of

my lifeits finished. Never will I ever have
to see his judging eyes or hear his unwanted
comments. Closing that chapter in my life
was surprisingly easymaybe its because I
know every new chapter I start from here on
out will bring new opportunities, new
memories, and new endings, and hopefully,
all of them will feature Seth.

Chapter Three
Seth
FROM: OLIVIA. TIME: 8:00 A.M.
Done. On my way home to help Mom.
Ill call you later.
Love you.
xx
Fucking Mason, I growl, slipping my
phone into the back pocket of my jeans.

62/723

I lean against my car and keep my eyes

trained on the darkened concrete at my feet
as Jackson saunters up beside me.
Whats up? he asks, leaning against the
car beside me.
Mason, I tell him, refusing to bring my
eyes to his face.
Although Olivia never hinted that Mason
has upset her in her text message, I know he
did. Mason had a habit of running his mouth
where it wasnt wanted. Jackson stiffens beside me. Whatd he do?
I dont know. I cringe. Jesus-fuckingChrist. I sound like an idiot. I pull my keys
from my pocket and push off of the car. I
should go see herfuck it, Ill go see him.
Jackson snags my arm, his grip hard and
strong.
Dont be an idiot. He snickers, reading
my mind. You dont even know if hes done
anything.
I dont have to, Masons a dick.

63/723

Jackson releases me and his eyes thin as

he laughs to himself. Look at you all smitten
and protective. I never thought Id see the
day.
I roll my eyes as he crosses his jean-clad
legs over each other and flicks his eyebrows
suggestively at me. It seems youre no
longer looking to lease, my friend, youre
looking to buy.
I fold my arms over my chest, forgetting I
want to get in my car and drive to Masons.
So what if I am?
I havent told Jackson about my plans to
ask Olivia to marry meor that Ive already
bought her a ring. Ill tell him eventually,
when I know when Im going to ask her. I
cant risk him telling Selena, she cant keep
her mouth shut even if you pay her to. Jackson flashes his palms at me. No disrespect,
man. I just never thought Id see the day.
Yeah, well, things change.
So it seems.

64/723

I dont bother pointing out that he and

Selena also seem to be getting pretty serious.
My guess is, he either hasnt shown her what
hes really like or shes just as damaged as he
is. I dont blame Jackson for being the way
he is. After the childhood and teenage years
hes had Im surprised he has stuck with
Selena for so long. His first real relationship
was fucking unhealthy. Poor kid was only
sixteen and the womantwenty-three. She
was into some dark shit sexually and he ate it
all up, thinking that was how things worked.
If he puts Selena through any of the shit he
had to go through, I cant see their relationship stretching past the three month line.
Ive fought the urge to ask him if hes shown
Selena any of histoys, but prying into Jacksons sex life is something I prefer to avoid.
Let it go, bro, Jackson says, interrupting
my train of thought. He takes my brooding
over his past as thoughts of Olivia and

65/723

Mason. Call her, make her feel better and

forget the rest.
I frown. Am I seriously getting relationship advice from Jackson? The same guy
who has had as many serious relationships
as me? How the fuck did that happen? I
guess it isnt too farfetched. Hes been coaching me on women since high school and now
that I think about itmaybe thats a bad idea
considering his relationships all consist of
one night stands and consensual, sexual abuse. The thought of tying Olivia up and giving it to her arouses me, but Id never do it
with half of the shit Jackson uses.
Call her and then get dressed. Training
begins in ten.
With a slap on the back, he strolls away
from me and I retrieve my phone from my
pocket, dialing Olivias number immediately.
It rings for a while before she answers.
Hey.

66/723

Her voice is happy and high, but I hear

the way it falls flat on the last syllable.
Hey yourself. I clear my throat, trying to
find the right question to ask without looking
like Im demanding information from her.
Howd it go? Nailed it.
She sighs, pausing for a few seconds. It
started off okaybut you know Mason and
how he feels about you.
The thought makes me smile. That I do.
Are you all right?
Surprisingly, yes. She laughs nervously.
Onwards and upwards, right?
Right. I stuff my free hand into the front
pocket of my jeans.
I just got home and Mom is all dressed
up and ready to garden, so I have to go, but
Ill see you later? Well go out for lunch?
I smile, happy she isnt going to blow me
off on account of Mason. Absolutely.
Okay, see you then.

67/723

She hangs up, leaving me smiling at my

own reflection in the gym windows. I cant
wait for lunch. I cant wait to see her milky
skin and plump, pink lips. Seeing her is what
I look forward to most in my day. Most
people look forward to their favorite TV
shows or their favorite meals, not me. I look
forward to the same time every morning
when I step through the gym doors and I
know Ill see her. I look forward to seeing her
cute wave and wide smile when she sees me,
scanning the room for her. I love her, and its
the sweetest feeling in the world. I slip my
phone into my pocket, open the back door to
my car, and pull out my gym bag. Training is
going to drag on because Im desperate for
lunchtime to roll around. I want to see herI
need to see her.
***

68/723

I open my eyes and glance sleepily around

my room. In between tossing and turning, I
didnt get much sleep. Last nightand almost every other nightI was plagued with
images of Olivia that deterred me from sleep.
Much to my brains delight, tonight in my
dreams, she was naked, desperate and begging for me. After I left her house yesterday,
I couldnt shake the look of her in that tiny
fucking shirt and tiny shortsnot to mention
the fact that she wasnt wearing underwear.
There I go, torturing myself again.
I groan, throwing off my blankets. I
havent felt this wound up since the night she
wanted me to take her on her couch and I refused. I swing my legs over the edge of the
bed and push myself onto my feet, running
my hands over my face. I stroll toward the
bathroom because the only thing that is going to help the tenting issue Im currently
having in my pants is a cold shower.

69/723

I drop my pants and open the shower

door. I turn on the cold tap, stepping well out
of the way of the cold stream. As the cold water crashes against the floor tiles and
splashes onto my skin, I decide a little bit of
warmth wouldnt hurtor at least I thought
it wouldnt. The warmer the water became,
the harder I got, and the harder I got, the
tighter I wound.
I reach for the body wash and squeeze a
large amount into my hand. I ignore my cock
that so eagerly juts out in front of me and begin lathering soap over every inch of my
body, purposely leaving my length for last.
When I have no choice but to wash it, I curl
my hand around the shaft, washing as
quickly as I can without causing myself too
much grief. I almost got away with it too, until my index finger slides over the over-sensitive head, sending an overwhelming bolt of
arousal through me. Without a second
thought, I grab the tip of my cock and

70/723

squeeze it firmly. A heavy, pleasured sigh

leaves my lips and I feel my eyes become half
lidded. I start out slowly, almost at a teasing
pace and rest my free hand heavily against
the glass.
Fuck I groan, my voice barely above a
whisper.
I know I shouldnt tease myself and I
know very well that if I go any faster theres
no way Im going to stop. Images of Olivia
trickle into my mind as my hands run up and
down my dick, picking up speed. Almost immediately I edge myself to the brink of orgasm, but before I fall over, I tear my hand
away, squeezing my eyes shut as my balls
threaten to explode. I cant break Darryls
ruleand if Im going to break it, Im not going to waste it alone, masturbating in my
shower. Not when I have Olivia, who wants
me as desperately as I want her. Familiar,
immoral thoughts of Olivia filter through my
mind at the thought of her name. I think

71/723

about yesterday and how badly she wanted

me in the shower room and how close I came
to filling her completely. My hand twitches
towards my cock, but before it makes contact, I bite the bullet and slap the hot tap,
drenching myself in cold water. I grit my
teeth against the freezing temperature, and
when Im certain my boner wont come back,
I shut the water off and step out of the
shower. I reach for a towel and quickly run it
over my body before wrapping it low on my
hips.
My skin is still damp as I march through
my room and throw on a white tank top and
slip into a pair of shorts, tossing my towel to
the side. I glance over my shoulder at the
clock on my wall. Fuck. How long was I in
there?
Im running late and I dont think I can
handle the five minute planks as a punishment today. Darryl makes me do them
whenever Im late and I dont care who you

72/723

are, they fucking hurt. I slip into a pair of

ankle socks and tear from the room.
I stroll through my kitchen, swinging by
the fridge and claiming a yogurt from inside.
As I pass the bench, I reach across and grab a
granola and nut bar from the fruit basket. I
hate training on an empty stomach. I tear the
lid off the yogurt tub and drink it, pouring
the sour Greek yogurt down my throat. The
nutritionist the MMAC assigned to me would
have a fit if she knew how little food Im consuming this morning and the fact that Ive
yet to take one of their protein shakes.
As I reach the front door, I slip into my
shoes, step outside, and lock my door behind
me.
The drive to the gym passes by quickly
and I pull awkwardly into a space. Im sure
my wheels are over one side of the line, but I
dont bother rectifying itnot while Im busy
staring at the giant billboard of me bolted to

73/723

the top of the gym. Its much bigger that I

expected
This is real.
This is happening.
Shit.
I exhale and close my eyes. Im a pro
MMAC fighter with huge billboards of myself
spread all over AmericaI deserve it. I
fought my ass off to make this happen, so
why does this whole sport suddenly feel so
new to me? I open my eyes and look up at
the billboard. Ive never been the kind of person who loves themselves, despite what other people might say about meand looking
at my picturetopless with my fists up, all
taped and dirty, makes me cringe. I never
want to do a photo shoot again. Ive never
felt more feminine in my life than I did that
day. One shoot is more than enough. They
better re-use that same photo for the rest of
my career.

74/723

I slip from the car and shut the door,

pressing the buttons on my keys to lock it. I
saunter toward the gym, still tired, even after
my shower. I hate skipping breakfast. I need
meat, I need eggs, and I need a million other
things just to keep me running all day. Going
off the way I feel now, Ill be lucky to make it
to brunch.
As I approach the door, I notice three men
in brightly colored overalls installing our
new security system and cameras. Olivia
fought me a little on the cameras. She insisted they were unnecessaryand they
wereuntil the grocery store down the road
was broken into.
I reach out to push the gym door open,
but a buzzing in my pocket forces me to
withdraw my hand and retrieve my cellphone from my pocket. Jacksons name
flashes across the screen and I contemplate
answering it. Hes undoubtedly going to

75/723

chew my ass off because Im running a little

late. I hit answer and bring it to my ear.
Im here now, I say.
Hey, man. Jackson clears his throat, ignoring my greeting. Im not going to make it
to the gym today. Selena and I got into it this
morning because I almost punched her father in the mouth.
A laugh rumbles through my chest. You
almost punched her father?
He growls. You should meet the fucking
guy. Hes a fucking dickbag and he treats her
like shit. No wonder she has so many issues.
I dont comment. Ive never really spent
time alone with Selena. I dont know if she
has any deep seated issueshell, I dont even
know what her favorite color is. I do,
however, know she likes to dress pretty and
drink hard.
Anyway, bro, you still prepared for me to
move in today?

76/723

Uh Shit. I forgot I asked Jackson to

move in three weeks ago. Ive been so busy it
slipped my mind.
Yeah, I lie, pretending I didnt forget.
All set.
Cool. Im gonna go find Selena. Shes run
off and isnt answering her phone. Ill talk to
you later.
He hangs up and I slip my phone back into my pocket. I have no idea how Jackson
and Selena are going to work if he already
wants to smash her father. On second
thought, I cant believe Jackson even agreed
to meet her father. Maybe hes becoming just
as whipped as I apparently am. My thoughts
fall to Rick, Olivias dad. He liked me, but it
wasnt like that in the beginning. Although
he played all happy in front of Olivia, when
she left hed turn his sights on me, demanding I keep my eyes on her face and
noteverywhere else. Once I told Rick I
wasnt going to hurt her and he grew to

77/723

believe me, things were fine. He was the only

one I talked to about marrying OliviaId
never been so scared or anxious in my life,
but I got his blessing and thats all that
matters.
I push through the doors and into the
gym. The strange smell I usually notice first
is masked by frangipanior lavendersome
kind of girly scent. Olivia has been trying to
freshen the gym for weeks now and this
smell is definitely not working for me. I scan
the room. In the far corner by the boxing
ring, Darryl is taking a phone callone he
doesnt seem too pleased with, and my sparring partners are stretching on the mat beside him. They have it easy today. I dont
think I have it in me to knock anyone out. I
glance around the rest of the gymtwo
chubby men stroll lazily on the treadmills
and a woman is going hard out on the elliptical. I frown, confused why Olivia isnt here. I
want to see her before I trainI feel stupid

78/723

just thinking that, we arent inseparableI

justI dont know. I guess thats what its
like being in love. You need to see that person everydayevery second. If you dont,
you feel kind of emptykind of incomplete.
Jesus-fucking-christ. Listen to me! I
sound like a pussybut its true. I feel incompleteor at least I do until my gaze
settles on a pair of bare thighs flowing endlessly out of tiny, black shorts as she bends
over a rowing machine. Its her and Im willing to bet my entire pro season earnings on
it. Ive seen her from this glorious angle too
many times to not be certain.
Suddenly pleased with how my morning is
turning out, I draw nearer, my eyes zeroing
in on the small gap between her thighs. Over
and over I have to remind myself that were
in public. My fingers twitch, desperate to act
of their own accord and slip between her
legs. Instead, I rest my hand on the small of
her back. Her skin is soft and warm under

79/723

my palm and I feel her body go rigid as she

slowly turns her head. When she makes eye
contact with me, her green orbs brighten and
she straightens herself before throwing her
arms around my neck.
You scared me! She says, squeezing me
against her.
I wrap my arms around her waist and she
pulls away, but I dont let her go. Did you
see the billboard?
I feel my face pull together. I didthey
dont have any smaller ones?
She half frowns, half smiles. Im sure
they do, but I ordered the biggest.
Of course you did.
Her lips curl into a mocking smirk. Are
you embarrassed, Mr. Marc?
Do I look embarrassed? Sorry, I was going for humble.
You have nothing to be embarrassed
about. She shrugs. I think it's sexy.

80/723

Well, I think your shorts are sexy and I

deem them inappropriate for the workplace.
She rolls her eyes and the palms of my hands
find their way down her back, stopping on
her firm ass. Your ass is a hazard.
She giggles at my lame line, catching her
plump bottom lip between her teeth as her
hands grip my hands, dragging them up to
rest on her hips. There are times and places
for everything.
I agree. I lower my mouth to her ear and
I feel her tense against me. Ive never done
it in a gym.
Seth, people are watching.
My lips twitch upwards at the sound of
her breathless voice. Let them.
I pull back, sliding my hands up the contour of her perfect body, before slipping
them to either side of her neck. Her eyes are
heavy, her plump lips parted to let through a
slow, controlled breath and it exposes her
teeth slightly, so flawless and white.

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Olivia?
A husky male voice draws my attention to
the door and I watch cautiously as a tall,
lean, and over-excited guy struts towards us.
I feel Olivias gaze drag from my face to his
and she takes a step back. I drop my hands
to my sides and watch curiously as he pulls
Olivia into a hug. It isnt a seedy hugit resembles the kind of hug a brother would give
a sister, but the gleam in his eye is
unsettling.
Brad, this is my boyfriend, Seth. Seth,
this is Brad. Hes a friend of my brothers,
she says after they rattle off a very brief catch
up and condolences for Rick.
Brad flicks his fingers through the front of
his copper hair before extending the same
hand to me. I glance at it briefly before putting my hand in his.
Youre the guy on the billboard out
front?

82/723

I fight the urge to cringe, taking my hand

back. I should be proud of it, not ashamed.
Yep.
Cool, bro, thats admirable. How hard
you hit?
I shrug. Get in the ring and Ill show
you.
Brad laughs nervously and O steps beside
me, resting a hand on my arm.
Ill pass, thanks. Maybe next time, Brad
says.
I analyze his face as he turns his attention
to Olivia, flicking it awkwardly to me a few
timesthick, bushy eyebrows, a slender nose
and bright yellow-green eyeshis catlike features unnerve me.
Anyway, Im scouting for a new gym and
I thought Id pop in here and give it a go. I
like the environment and the people. He
flicks his eyebrows at Olivia. Maybe Ill stick
around.

83/723

I cross my arms and Olivia leans into me,

laughing like he said something funny. I
didnt hear anything remotely funny come
from his thin lips. Am I missing some kind of
personal joke?
Come, Ill show you the gym. Olivia
hooks her elbow around Brads and glances
at me over her shoulder. Ill talk to you
soon, she says, her voice broken with a
giggle. Youre late and Darryl is pissed.
I watch as she walks with Brad around the
gym, laughing and blushing as she points out
equipment and doors. Every now and then,
their eyes flit to me before returning to their
conversation. Its bothering me more than it
should. Ive never felt jealousy before I became interested in Olivia. I dont do jealousy.
Im a detached, hit it and quit it kind of
guyor at least I used to be. I dont like the
way jealousy affects me. I hate the anger it
stirsI hate the fact that it makes me want
to throw Olivia on the floor and take her in

84/723

front of everyone just to make a statement. I

exhale. I sound like a fucking psychoand I
am when it comes to her.
Seth! Darryl shouts, drawing my attention. He slips his phone into his pocket.
Youre late. Shirt off, gloves on, lets go!
Reluctantly, I stroll over to the boxing ring
and pull my shirt over my head. I keep my
head down and focus on wrapping my hands
correctly instead of obsessively watching
Olivia and Brad waltz around the gym.
Darryl brings my gloves and head gear. I
take my gloves, but ignore the other item in
his hand.
This isnt the amateurs anymore, Seth,
you have to wear your gear. You cant afford
to get hurt in training. Not to mention you
have interviews and press conferences coming up
I dont want the head gear. Hes not going to touch me.

85/723

Darryl drops the head gear with a sigh.

Youre too damn cocky for your own good.
I cant help the smile that tugs at my lips. I
like Darryl, mostly because he reminds me of
my father. Okay, that comparison isnt accurate. Theres a big difference between Dad
and Darryl. Darryl tells me how proud he is
of me on a regular basis. Dad, however, has
only said it twice. Once when I was six and I
went to the dentists for the first time and the
second time on his death bedIm proud of
your determination, but Im not proud of
your choices. Fair call, Ive made some
pretty shitty choices. Before Mom went off
the tracks, I drank way too much, partied
way too hard, and I slept with way too many
girls. I have no reasons for it. Growing up,
my home life was perfect, well, almost perfect. Maddi, my sister, was the golden child.
My parents bent over backwards for her.
Maddi had always wanted to be a lawyer like
Mom and my parents (being huge on

86/723

success) nurtured her as much as they could.

When they asked me what I wanted to be,
my answer was always different. One week it
was a race car driver. The next, a cage fighter. Hell, I even think I told them I wanted to
be a mob boss at one point. My point is, I
was never treated equally to my sister. When
I told Dad about my plans to be a professional MMA fighter, he was hesitant until I went
off in a long speech about discipline and determination. When he saw how serious and
passionate I was, he agreed to be a part of it.
He studied long and hard on the art of MMA
and ended up knowing more than me, teaching me things I didnt know. Quickly, Dad
and I grew close and it was like the last seventeen years of our tense relationship didnt
exist.
I loved it. I loved seeing him smile at me,
his eyes gleaming with pride. Sadly, our easy
relationship was short-lived. Being a surgeon
and having to deal with death regularly, my

87/723

Dad attended habitual therapy sessions. One

night, he invited me to go with him. He
wanted me to see what he had to deal with,
how determined and passionate he was
about his job, considering he never spoke
about work outside of his therapy sessions.
Its too stressful, hed always say when I
asked.
The office was nearing close timeand
Dad and I were sitting in the waiting room.
There was no receptionist, apparently typical
for that time of night, so he sent me to find
Mason. I strolled around the practice before
I entered his office. I dont regret a lot of
things in my life because at the time Ive
done them, it was exactly what I wanted, but
I do regret the events that followed. The
events that followed me entering Masons office destroyed any relationship Id built with
my father. I dont blame Masons wifeeven
though she should have been a little more respectful of her marriageI only blame

88/723

myself. I was young, horny, and stupid. So

fucking stupid.
My lungs burn as air is forced from them
and I hunch over, blowing air from my
cheeks. What the fuck? I straighten myself
and my spar partner, Dave, locks eyes with
me. He seems almost scared that he touched
me. Fuck knows why, hes at least three
times the size of me.
Nice shot, I groan, running my hands
over my face.
I need to wake up.
Pay attention, Darryl orders from the
sidelines. Keep your hands up.
I bring my fists up and loosen my posture.
He isnt going to get another hit on me. That
I guarantee.
Hello stranger, she purrs, stepping
closer. Looking for Dr. Peterson?
My eyes rake the woman before me in a
tight, red dress and the highest pair of heels

89/723

Ive ever seen. If there was a picture beside

trophy wife on urbandictionary.com, itd be
a picture of her. She drags her long, blonde
hair over one shoulder, her hips swaying as
she saunters toward me. Theres a curve on
the corner of her lipsa confident
curvelike she knows whats going to happen before I even open my mouth.
Mason is out right nowand he skipped
on dinner with his wife again.
I dont talk to her, only watch as she
pouts sarcastically.
So you can imagine how pissed off
and her gaze drags down the length of
my body before returning to my face. I
barely acknowledge my cock twitching in
my pants. Unsatisfied I am.
I swallow hard as her hands press
against my chest and glide downward until
her finger curls around the hem of my jeans.
Although young, you look like you can
satisfy me

90/723

Her eyebrow quirks, silently asking me

for my name.
Seth, I tell her.
She smiles the kind of smile that should
have sent me running. She smiles a wide,
wolfish and hungry smile that tugs at my
nervesamong many other things.
Seth she says in a husky whisper,
bringing her mouth closer to mine. I smell
the alcohol on her breath and I know I
should leavebut I dont. She sucks my bottom lip between hers and I keep my eyes
open, locked on her espresso black irises as
she pops the button on my jeans. Thats a
sexy name.
My nerves skyrocket at the thought of
Dad walking through the door any second
now and I grab her small wrists in my
hands. Dont.

91/723

Her over-plucked brow cocks. Dont?

Her eyes flare. You say it, but I know you
dont mean it.
She kisses my chin, before slowly dropping to her knees. I look down at her as she
glances up at me through hooded eyes and
releases me from my jeans.
Do you like to feel good, Seth? Because
Im going to make you feel real good and
then youre going to return the favor.
I know I shouldnt do it. I know its wrong
and beyond fucked up, but Im too hard to
walk away. I figure, if I do this quickly and
then get back to Dadno harm done.
Her lips wrap around me, coating my
bare skin in slick, wet saliva. A groan slips
from my throat and her fingers dig into my
legs as she takes me all the way to the back
of her throat. I grit my teeth against a
shiver threatening to overcome me and
grab a fistful of her soft hair, forcing her to
move faster and harder. She moans, almost

92/723

sending me over the edge, but Im not done.

Not until I make her feel as good as shes
making me feel. All rational thoughts fly out
the window the moment her warm tongue
wraps around the tip and a dark hunger is
released inside of me. I force the woman
roughly to her feet. She drags an index finger along her bottom lip and I grip her hips
as she wraps her arms around my neck. I
push her backwards, passing the couches
and going straight to Masons desk. As she
slides onto the table, I pull back and reach
for the wallet in my back pocket. While she
tugs her pathetic excuse for underwear
down her legs, I find a condom and slip the
wallet back into my pocket. I waste no time
in ripping the foil and rolling it on. Within
seconds Im between her thighs and pushing
my way inside her. No thoughts fill my
mindnothing that will bring me back to
my senses, anyway. I avoid kissing her

93/723

mouth in respect of her marriageI almost

cringe.
How fucking thoughtful of me.
Im relieved she doesnt mind me avoiding her lips. She isnt looking for romance or
passiona quick fuck to get back at her husband is all she wants. Masons wife falls
back, lying flat on his desk, her eyes closed. I
tighten my grip on her hips, pulling her into
me with every thrust.
Oh fuck, yes, she moans and I feel her
tighten around me.
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, trying
to hold back my own groans of pleasure as
she wraps her legs around my hips, squeezing me closer to her. I feel my release gaining momentum and getting nearer as she
digs her fingers into the wood, turning them
white.
Faster, shit, she cries and her legs begin
to spasm.

94/723

Her fast breathing turn into gasps for air

and her walls clamp down on me. The pressure on my cock sends me over the edge and
I lean over her, my own hands turning
white and bloodless under the pressure as
my knees threaten to buckle. I feel myself
pulse inside of her as I release and I grit my
teeth against moaning out loud.
Fucking hell.
I take a few slow, deep breaths and draw
myself to full height. Almost immediately, I
feel a regretful sickness creep through my
stomach and cling to all of my vital organs.
What have I done?
I slip off the condom and drop it into the
bin. Raking my fingers through my hair,
Masons wife bends down for her underwear and I follow suit, buttoning my own
jeans. As luck would have it, before I get the
button done, the door opens and I freeze.
Honey, this is
Holy shit. Fuck.

95/723

Masons words are cut off as he takes in

the scene before him. His wife finishes adjusting her red thong and pulls down her
dress, covering the red marks my fingers
made when I squeezed her flesh.
Seth? Theres no mistaking the complete
disgust in Dads voice and I flinch. What
the fuck is going on?
Ill tell you whats going on, the woman
says as she grabs her handbag. Seth here
was showing me a good timea great time.
This is the last time you neglect me, Mason.
I want a divorce.
She reaches into her bag and retrieves a
packet of cigarettes. She plucks one out, puts
it between her lips and ignites it with a
tacky diamante lighter. With a sultry wink
in my direction, she says. Thanks, handsome. And then she pushes past Dad and
her husbandex-husband. Mason starts toward me, hate as clear as day in the blue
depths of his eyes and Im not going to fight

96/723

him. Im going to let him punch me in the

face. Fuck knows I deserve it, but before he
reaches me, Dad dives between us. Go after
your wife, Mason. Ill deal with Seth.
I frown, knowing that whatever mental
shit Dad dishes out will be a million times
worse than what Mason could ever do to me
physically.
Mason whips around on his heel and
storms from his office, shouting after his
wife.
Dad, its not my
My words are cut off by a harsh slap to
my cheek and it tosses my head to the side. I
feel my nostrils flare and I clench my jaw
against the urge to hit him back as I slowly
turn to face him.
Its not my fault, I almost growl at him.
Its not your fault? Did she tie you down
and force you to put your dick in her?
I grit my teeth. No.

97/723

No, she didnt. Its your fault just as

much as it is hers. He pinches the bridge of
his nose. I thought you changed, Seth, but
youre still the same disgraceful embarrassment you were months ago and Im finished
with you.
The look on Dads facethe look of pure
resentment and disappointment seeps
through my pores, flows through my bloodstream and penetrates my heart. The last
few months Ive worked so hard to make
him proudonly to destroy it.
***
Pain flashes across my mouth as my lip is
crushed against my teeth and it splits.
Shit. I zoned out again.
Seth! What the fuck are you doing?
Darryls voice pierces me and I lick my lip.
Blood. I fucking hate the taste of blood. I
lunge forward, slamming my gloved hand

98/723

into Daves stomach. He hunches over and I

grab his head, driving my knee into his face.
With a grunt, he falls onto his hands and
knees. As soon as Im done, Darryl launches
himself into the ring, clutching his stopwatch
to stop it from swinging around his neck. I
press my glove against my lip and look at it.
There isnt too much blood, thank God,
which means there isnt too much damageI
hope.
Are you awake? Youre as disoriented as a
kidnapped prostitute on heroin.
Im awake, I tell him, rolling my head
from side to side. I just didnt get much
sleep last night.
Why? Are you ill?
No.
He puts his hands on his hips. Then why
arent you sleeping?
Choosing to avoid the flashback of me disappointing my father, I say. Because Im
wound too tightly, Darryl. I cant go months

99/723

without sex. Im not in the amateur league

anymore. My fights arent a week or two
apart... theyre months apart and I cant
handle it.
Surprisingly, Darryl laughs. You cant
sleep because youre horny? Youre letting
your sparring partners get through your
guard because you want to fuck your girlfriend? He pinches the bridge of his nose (a
typical Darryl reaction) and exhales. If having sex is going to keep you on the top of
your game and alert, then fine, do it. But if
you come back tomorrow and you dont give
me two hundred percent, Im going to kick
your ass myself, got it?
I roll my eyes. Darryls good at what he
does and definitely knows his way around a
cage, but he could never beat me.
Go it?
Yeah, I got it.
Good. He turns from me to face the other sparrers. Next.

100/723

As my next sparrer prepares his gloves, I

scan the gym for Olivia. I spot her leaning
against a training room door. Her long,
slender fingers reach up and tighten her
ponytail and she flicks it over one shoulder.
Shes perfect.
I think back to my recent flashback and
grit my teeth as a pang of guilt crushes my
stomach. The fact Olivia willing touches
what too many other girls have touched
makes me sick. I should be special for
herlike she is special for me. If I could go
back and do everything again, Id have
waited for her because no one makes me feel
as good as she does. Olivia doesnt make me
feel dirty, like I did when I was with other
girls. When we have sex, she doesnt make
me feel like Im doing something wrong and
thats what drew me to her. She makes me
feel good, she makes me feel like a better
personthe person I should have been for
my father. I watch her laugh and playfully

101/723

slap Brad on the arm, and even from here I

can see the pink flush that burns at her
cheeks. Brad grabs her shoulders and pulls
her into him before his eyes flick to me.
Oh hell no.
I tear my gloves off and drop them to the
floor as my new sparrer steps in. I stalk
across the ring and the floor shakes with
every step I take.
What the hell are you doing? Put your
gloves back on, Darryl demands.
More important things to do, I tell him,
not breaking my visual on Brad and Olivia.
More important thingsSeth
I ignore him as I slip between the ropes
and onto the stable gym floor. Brad retracts
his arms from Olivia and an uncomfortable
cringe creeps over his face. When she turns
to see me coming for her, she shakes her
head at me, like Im seconds away from
overreacting.

102/723

Seth, what are youah! I grab her hips

and lift her, throwing her over my shoulder.
Put me downBrad, give me a second. Seth,
stop.
I dont stop. I keep carrying her until
were in her office. I storm across the room
and drop her into her office chair, gripping
the arms of it so it doesnt roll away.
Feel better now? She laughs and I feel
my eyebrows draw together. Is this funny?
He isnt coming here, O. Tell him were
full, I demand in a tone so dark she cant
possibly mistake it for a question.
Her soft hands glide up my arms, softening my frustrated edge. You dont trust me?
I stare into her beautiful green eyes, unwavering. I trust youits everybody else I
dont trust.
Seth She sighs, running a hand over
her face, defeated. Brad is gay. He isnt into
me, hes into you.

103/723

I frown and her hands rise to her mouth

as her body vibrates with laughter. Gay?
NoIve seen and met plenty of gay guys.
They were all the sameconfident, over the
top, and feminine. Brad has a husky voice, he
doesnt walk funny, and I didnt see him
purse his lips once. I drop to my knees, keeping my hands on the armrests.
You look shocked. Her chest hiccups
with a remaining giggle.
I am. He doesnt look gay
What do you mean he doesnt look gay?
Gays arent all the same.
But Im certain they are. Ive seen so many
and all their personalities have been as indistinguishable as the last.
I put my hands on my hips and sink to the
floor before her. Now I feel like a dick
Olivia slides closer and slips her hands
around my neck. Her green eyes flare at me
from underneath her dark lashes and the

104/723

corners of her lips jerk. Well, its a good

thing hes into dicks, isnt it?
I dont want to laugh, but my lips pull
wider anyway and my chest rumbles. I slip
my hands underneath her, pulling her off the
chair and onto my lap. She molds perfectly to
me and my body is anything but immune to
her covered breasts that press against my
chest.
How long did it take you to come up with
that one? I ask, lowering my mouth to hers.
Ive been waiting to say it since the moment Brad walked in and you looked like you
wanted to kill him.
Os tongue flicks out and brushes the cut
on my bottom lip. She cringes, her eyes
glossing over with sympathy. Does it hurt?
Not anymore.
My hands snake underneath her tight
tank top and up the warm skin of her back as
her own fingers brush the back of my neck
before slipping into my hair. She rolls her

105/723

hips forward, sliding further onto me and my

breathing deepens. My whole body tightens
and clenches as she urges her mouth on
mine, pressing slightly on my cut as she dips
her tongue inside, eliciting a moan from me.
Darryl gave me the green light I tell
her, pulling back and resting my forehead
against hers. Tell me to stop or Im going to
take you right now.
Her eyelids drop minutely and she leans
in close, her lips grazing my earlobe.
Whatever you do, she breathes, dont
stop.
I tear my hands from her shirt and bury
them in her hair, roughly tugging her backwards. She gasps and our eyes connect. My
blood burns as her irises flare, sending my
body buzzing before she crushes her mouth
to mine. I drop an arm and wrap it around
her waist, urging her onto her back. In one
fluid movement, she hitches a thigh round
my hip as I pin her body against the wooden

106/723

floor and press myself right between her

thighs. She groans and flexes her hips into
mine. The movement is almost enough to
have me coming in my pants. I pull her shirt
up and tug her bra down so her voluptuous
mounds flow over the useless cups. I suck a
hard nipple into my mouth and she lifts her
hips. I curl my fingers around the hem of her
shorts and she sucks in a sharp breath. I can
feel the heat radiating from her and I want to
be in herdeep in heruntil I lose sense of
where I am, until I cant think straight.
Knock. Knock.
Are you fucking kidding me? I groan
with a mouth full of breast.
I release her and she groans, disappointed. I look up at her face. Her eyes are closed,
trying to compose herself. She swallows hard
before opening her eyes blinking at me. How
hard is it to have five goddamn seconds to
myself?

107/723

What? I call out, unable to mask my

frustration.
When I said you can have sex, I didnt
mean now, Darryl shouts, his voice vibrating through the wood and killing the heat
between Olivias legs. Get out here. You still
have a full training session to get through,
not to mention the five minute planks for being late.
With a defeated sigh, Olivia shifts underneath me and conceals her pink nipples behind her white bra.
Ill be out in a minute, I call, pushing
myself off of her.
I pull on the hem of her shirt, covering her
firm stomach. Now I finally have the green
light, I want to spend every waking minute
with her. Not only having sex, but reconnecting in other ways, and knowing I can reach
out and touch her without having to worry if
I work myself up would be nice. Ive decided
she isnt staying with her mom tonight, no

108/723

way. I want her with me, in my house and in

my bed. All alone.
FUCK!
Jackson is moving in todaymeaning the
chance of isolation and freedom to make
Olivia as loud as I want her to be is slim to
noneJesusand I havent even told Olivia
hes moving in.
I sigh and sit up. I rake my fingers
through my hair, making a mental note to
get a haircut. I should probably mention
Jackson is moving in.
Her eyes widen and she pushes herself up
on her elbows. When?
Today, and I was thinking we could have
a barbequejust you, me, Selena and Jackson, I lied. I wasnt thinking that. I just created a reason to have her agree to coming
over tonight before her mom has a chance to
rope her into dinner.
Olivia sits up and tightens her ponytail,
smiling slightly. Are you feeling okay?

109/723

Above the waist Im okay, why?

Her lips twitch. It doesnt seem like your
style. I expected you to suggest an orgy before a double date.
Firstly, I dont have a style and its not a
double date. Its a couple of friends hanging
out and eating a shit ton of food I hook my
finger under the hem of her shorts and tug
her toward me. Her hands fly up and press
against my chest to stop herself from slamming into my body. I smile as I picture her
naked, digging her fingernails into my bare
skin. To increase stamina for a sleepless
night, I finish.
She takes a step back and I remove my
finger from her shorts as she runs a hand
over her face. Shit, I cant.
The balloon of indecent excitement in my
chest deflates. You cant?
No, I promised Mom wed Skype with
Chase tonight.
What time?

110/723

Eight p.m.
Come to dinner at six and then you can
Skype with Chase afterwards.
She ponders for a little while, pulling the
corner of her lip between her teeth. Fine, do
you need me to get anything? What are we
eating?
You dont need to get anything, I have
lots of steak.
Olivia blinks at me a few times before reaching for her blue backpack that sits on the
desk. Ill go pick up some Selena-friendly
food. She only eats lamb, chicken, or meats
that have been processed enough times they
actually count as a chemical. She rolls her
eyes and mimics Selenas voice. The bigger
the animal, the bigger the bloat.
Whatever the hell that means. A few more
knocks sound on the door and I walk towards it before pulling it open.
We were only talking, Olivia states,
shifting her weight and folding her arms.

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Darryls eyes zero in on her leg and I follow his line of sight. I smile widely when I
spot one half of her shorts pushed up her
thigh.
Apparently, he deadpans.
Olivia glances down and abruptly flattens
her shorts.
Anyway, I have the MMAC breathing
down my neck. Theyre not happy with your
times and theyre extremely close to replacing me with some juiced up gorilla who
knows more about supplements than
techniques.
I shrug my shoulders in an attempt to
come off unbothered, but inside, I feel sorry
for Darryl. Ive fucked him around a lot since
I met Olivia. When Darryl and I first started
working, Id hired him only to piss off my
dadbut we grew close and now I wouldnt
dream of replacing him. Without hesitation,
he gave up his life in Seattle and uprooted
his wife and three children to move to

112/723

Portland with me. He believed in mebelieves in meand I dont know what Id do or

whered Id be without him.
Olivia strolls past, planting a quick kiss on
my cheek. See you soon.
We watch as she rounds the corner and
disappears down the stairs.
Im going to marry her, I say aloud
without thought or warning.
Darryls lips curl into a wide, proud smile
and it illumines his dark features. Good,
youd be stupid not to.
I nod my head in subtle agreement and
lean against the door frame. Darryl analyzes
me for a second before speaking. You know,
the no sex rule isnt only to help your performance levels, but to also help your
relationship.
I frown, confused.
Cmon, everyone knows what kind of guy
you were. With this rule in place, it gives you
time to explore other aspects of your

113/723

relationship. Love isnt only expressed

through words or sex. Its communicated
through actionsselfless actionsas easy as
listening to her talk about her day or washing
her hair. Love isnt about staying together
and having sex. Its about staying together
and growing together, for a lifetime. Darryl
chuckles. That probably went in one ear and
out the other, though, right?
I shake my head. Its advice like that that
is going to help me throughout this relationship. No, I think Ill hold on to that piece of
advice.
He rubs the back of his neck and averts
his gaze, happy, but uncomfortable. Neither
of us is used to conversations like this. Lets
go, weve got training to do.
Before he turns, I stop him.
Thank you, I say, crossing my arms.
for putting up with all of my bullshit. I
know Im hard to handle and I know I can be

114/723

a dick, so thanks for dealing with it better

than Dad did.
Darryls features hardened. With all due
respect, your dad was an idiot. You were just
a boyone that made bad decisionsbut a
boy, nonetheless. If he spent more time
showing you instead of telling you, maybe
things would have been different.
Maybe, but I wouldnt change anything.
I had a love/hate relationship with
Dadpredominately hate, but he was still
my fathersomething I dont think he could
handle at any stage in my life. Olivia,
however, knew exactly what kind of person I
was when we met, God knows I told her a
million times, but she still wanted me. I like
being around her, she soothes me. Being in
the amateur tournament was stressful, beyond stressful. Before every fight, Dads words
would ring through my mind.

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When have you succeeded at anything in

life? Ever? Youre dedicated, sure, but youre
also stupid. You always get your own way
and thisfighting thing is no different. Ill
watch your fights, but only to see you ruin it
for yourself. You always do.
Every time I fought in the amateur comp,
it was a win or die situation. It was win or
prove my father right and I refuse to admit
that Im the loser he believed I was. There
isnt a submission in the world that can force
me to tap out. If you get me in a hold, you
better be prepared to snap a bone or kill me
because I will not surrender. Call me stubborn, I know I am. Call me competitive or
spoiled, Im those things too, but what I am
not, is weak. Ill never give up on anything
that I want and now that Im pro, the stakes
are higherthe fights, meaner. Theres a lot
more stress on my mind and my body than
ever before, but Im ready.

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I think.

Chapter Four
Olivia
I pull up outside the small grocery store
by the gym and I sit in my car for a few long
seconds because I have no idea what Seth
has in his fridgedoubling up would be
pointless. With a heavy sigh, I open the door,
drag myself from the seat and slam the door
behind me. Im happy being here by myself.
The last time I went to a grocery store with
Seth and his nutritionist, Mina, I swear I was

118/723

going to have a mental breakdown. The looks

I received from her every time I suggested
something not organic were ridiculous. It
seems a fighters diet is extremely strict. Did
you know there are different kinds of carbs
and fats? I didnt. Thankfully, Selena doesnt
care if something is organic or grown purely
from chemicals. Shes not one to care what
she puts into her body and yet, her body remains perfect.
My thoughts of healthy foods and perfect
bodies distract me until Im standing outside
the stores Deli section.
Twenty-nine. The womans high voice
commands my attention and I glance down
at the number in my hand.
Oh, thats me. I step forward, hand her the
ticket, and order a few chicken drumsticks
and a rack of lamb ribs. Everything is coated
in a thick layer of smoky barbeque sauce and
it makes my mouth water. My mouth isnt
the only thing lacking in moistureIm still

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not able to shake the way Seths hot mouth

felt when it enveloped my nipplehis tongue
glides with perfect pressure over my hard
peak, sending an abundance of electrified
tingles between my legs
Olivia?
My eyes shoot open. Im still in the store,
standing right by the freezer section with a
small basket filled with itemsitems I dont
remember grabbing because I was too caught
up in the way Seth handled me. And when he
pulled my hair so firmly, oh my Go
Olivia? the familiar voice said again.
I whip around on my heel and immediately meet Blades boyish face and bright
eyes. A thick, uncomfortable feeling twists
my stomach and Im almost positive that its
hate. I think Im angry just looking at him
Blade?
He adjusts his black t-shirt and steps forward, pulling me and the basket I jam
between our bodies into him.

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How are you? he asks when he releases

me.
I havent seen Blade since my fathers funeral. He was so uncharacteristically cool
about Seth and I being in love.
Im good, thanks. How are you?
I dont really care how he is, not like I did
before I met Seth. I only ask out of courtesy
and because I dont want to cause a scene.
Im okay. His eyes drink me in, eyeing
my small, black shorts closely. You look
good.
I shift my basket, dropping it subtly to
hide my bare legs. Blade has seen me naked
too many times for me to feel insecure in
front of him, but I dont want him to look at
me like that anymore. Im not his. Theres
only one set of eyes I want skimming over
my flesh and theyre brown with beautiful
rivers of golden honey, not blue.
Hows Seth? Still treating you well?

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I can hear the hope in his voice and it

makes me feel off. How dare he?
Like a princess, I reply, forcing a fake
smile just to get at him.
Blade inches closer and I step back until
the skin of my shoulders presses against the
fridges cold glass.
He lowers his voice, smiling uncomfortably. Ive been thinking about you a lot
latelyI miss you.
He presses a hand against the glass beside
my head and if I push any harder on the
fridge, Ill go through it.
Blade, dont.
Im not doing anything, I just want to
talk. His sentence finishes with a small exhale and I pick up the scent ofvodkaor
something close to it.
Are you drunk? He doesnt look drunk.
His eyes are alert and his skin free of a
clammy sweat.
I had a little bit, but Im not drunk.

122/723

I step away. Goodbye. He slides in front

of me.
I just want to talk, Olly.
I grit my teeth. I hate that nickname. We
have nothing to talk about. As far as Im concerned, were strangers.
His eyebrows raise and he steps back,
running his hand over his face. I dont have
to ask to know that Ive pissed him off.
Strangers? We were together for six
years, we were each others first, and weve
met each others families, but now were
strangers? What the fuck happened to you?
Its not meit never was me. It was you.
You did this to yourself, and newsflashIve
moved on. I love someone else. If you see me
walking around, dont talk to me. Were
strangers nownot because of me, and its
not even because of Seth. Its because of
you.

123/723

I push past him, but before I storm away,

I turn to him. In light of it all, though, I
guess I do have to thank you
For what? he barks out, his head snapping in my direction.
If it wasnt for you, I never would have
been given the chance to meet Sethso
thank you.
He narrows his baby blues at me and the
fear they used to provoke in me ceases to exist. Ive beaten him and he no longer affects
me. My system is immune to him.
Youre so very welcome, he deadpans,
almost growling.
I turn again and march toward the checkout without double checking the contents in
my basket. He shouldnt be so mad. He
knows how the saying goes, treat her right,
or someone else will, and that is exactly
what happened.
***

124/723

I leave the food in the car and step into

the gym. Finally, I can breathe easier. I
hadnt expected to see Blade againbut now
that I have, I can say the feelings I had are
completely gone. Non-existent. Im glad I ran
into Blade, actually. I feel it finally closed the
Blade chapter of my life. First Mason, now
Blade. Im erasing them from my life only to
make more room for Seth.
I pull my phone from my pocket and
glance at the time. I was at the store for a
little over an hour. The gym is still relatively
clean and quiet, so I stroll toward the training room, hoping to replace Blades face, that
hovers at the front of my mind, with Seths.
I push through the door and my gaze immediately zeroes onto Seths form. Hes face
down on the floor, holding himself up on his
elbows and the tips of his feetboarding?
Fencing? Noplanking! Yes, thats what its

125/723

called. Planking. I tried it once and barely

made eight seconds.
I stroll over to Darryl, whos sitting comfortably in a chair next to Seth. He glances
up at me and smiles, exposing his white
teeth.
Whats his time? I ask.
Eleven minutes so far, four more to go.
Darryl crosses his legs and places the
stopwatch on his grey, sweatpant-clad thigh.
I step closer to Seth, watching his muscles
tremble as he fights to keep himself up. I
hear his breathing come out in controlled
breaths and he keeps his head down, ignoring my presence. Normally, Im okay with
Seth focusing more on the training session
than me, but after seeing Blade, I want to
touch Seth. I want to talk to him and laugh
with himI want to do anything to rid the
memory of my ex-boyfriend.
Switch to high plank, Darryl commands,
and with a small exhale, Seth pushes himself

126/723

off of his elbows and onto the palms of his

hands, holding himself higher off the
ground. Seth keeps his head straight, not
looking at anything but the far wall. I circle
him until I stand in front of him, blocking his
eye contact with the wall. He glances up at
my face and his lips curl into a heart-stopping smile. The urge to be close to him overwhelms me and I sit down before sliding myself directly underneath his large body
Here we go, I hear Darryl sigh under his
breath, but I ignore him, focused only on the
brown irises that glow lovingly at me.
Seth watches my face as I trail the tips of
my fingertips over the rock hard muscles in
his arms. The hard masses coated in a thin,
arousing layer of sweat tremble and my eyes
flick from his arms to his face.
You know, when I pictured you underneath me for the first time in weeks, this isnt
exactly what I had in mind, he says, his
voice strained.

127/723

I hear Darryls chair scratch a few times

on the floor as he moves away from us, giving us the privacy we desperately need. I
laugh, turning my head to look away from
him. He lowers himself and plants a kiss on
my cheek, sending warm butterflies through
my stomach. I bite my bottom lip against
more giggles as his lips playfully travel my
jaw and onto my neck.
Seth, high planks, Darryl commands
and Seth exhales, straightening his arms.
I turn my head to look at him. Even during training sessions he looks amazing. His
skin doesnt turn pink like mine does when
Im overworked, his shines and the golden
rivers in his eyes turn a beautiful sun gold.
Hes so perfect I want kick him or squeeze
him until he pops. Not out of hate, but out of
lovepure, endless, exciting love.
Three more minutes and well go to my
place to help Jackson.

128/723

Will Selena be there, too? Its been so

long since Ive seen her. Shes been taking introduction classes in everything because it
turns out being a police officer wasnt for
her. On her first day in class, she got to
watch them fire guns and she discovered she
doesnt like loud noises. I mentally roll my
eyes every time I think about it. On the plus
side, since shes been with Jackson, her
drinking and smoking habits have been cut
in half. Nothing makes you feel like more of
an alcoholic than when Selena declines a
drink from you. I dont know how he did it.
Ive tried to get Selena to cut down on drinking since high school, but shes very stubborn. After a while, I gave up. Shes her own
person and although I wouldnt want her doing anything to hurt herself, Im not her
mother. She can do whatever she wants and
all I can do is offer some sound advice from
the sideline.

129/723

I dont know Seth answers. If Jackson

finds her and they make up, then probably.
Wait. Finds her? What happened and
why hasnt she called me?
Shes probably too pissed off to talk to
anyone.
No, that cant be it. Selena has always
called me when something in her life hasnt
gone her way. Shes called me crying because
she kicked her toe. Shes called me crying because her Nan died and shes called me crying because her drivers license photo makes
her look like a man. My point is she always
calls me. I pull my phone from my pocket
and dial Selenas number, bringing it to my
ear. After four rings, she answers.
Hey.
I frown, she seems fine. I keep my eyes on
Seths chest, but Im oblivious to the rock
hard body hovering above me.
Sel, are you okay?

130/723

She sighs. I am nowIve had a very long

morning.
Vent to me, itll make you feel better.
Jackson met Dad.
My brows furrow. And what happened?
You know how Dad is and how much he
expects from me. Jackson couldnt handle it,
accusing my Dad of being a controlling asshole. Selena laughs once. Which is hilarious coming from him.
Now Im confused. Jackson is controlling?
Theres so much Selena has obviously neglected to tell meand it kind of hurts. As for
her dad, hes a strict man, but Ive never
really seen him try and control Selena. Then
again, she refuses to say much about her dad
and hes hardly home. Ive seen him easily
only twenty times since Ive known Selena.
He cant be too bad if she still lives there and
refuses to move out. I dont know, I cant
give her advice about a problem shes never
shared with me.

131/723

Will you be at Seths today? Jackson is

moving and we were hoping to have a
barbeque?
Yeah, Ill be there.
Good, we can talk then. I miss you
Selena chuckles. We saw each other two
weeks ago, but if it makes you feel better, I
miss you, too.
I roll my eyes. See you later, dick.
Love you!
I hang up and slip my phone back into my
pocket.
Is she coming? Seth asks.
Apparently.
His full lips curl. Did she tell you Jackson
almost punched her dad?
I feel my eyebrows rise into my hair line.
No.
He nods. Yeah, he did.
Why?
According to Jackson, her dad is an asshole. Jackson isnt one to lose control easily,

132/723

so her dad mustve said something really

messed up to have pissed him off.
My eyebrows drag together. Ive never
seen Jackson as the aggressive typeat least,
not like Seth. Seth can switch his moods at
the drop of a hat and the gleam of hate he
gets in his eyes whenever someones gaze
lingers too long in my direction is unnervingas well as thrilling.
I never expected Jackson to do
something like that.
Hes unpredictable, thats for sure.
Time! Darryl calls from a distance.
I hear his chair creak and then the glass
door open and close, leaving Seth and I
alone. Seths eyes flick between my eyes and
my mouth in a way that makes my heart flutter and my stomach clench. He lowers himself, bending his arms at the elbows.
I have food in the car, I mutter as his
lips graze mine, knowing if I let him kiss me
I wouldntcouldntstop there.

133/723

I smile as he moves across my face and

kisses the top of my head. Then we should
go.
***
Houses whip past me as I glance over my
forearm and out the window. I dont pay attention to any of them, or at least I dont until the familiar houses on Seths streets
whirls into view. Its been a while since Ive
been to Seths house and the thought of being so close to him with a bed nearby is exciting. Seth demanded we take his car and leave
mine at the gym. Regardless of my protesting, I did what he wanted. You know, the
usual.
As we pull into Seths driveway, I spot a
huge moving truck at the front.
Hes here already? Im pouting. I
thought Seth and I could have some alone
time before anyone else showed up. Do you

134/723

know how frustrating it is to have someone

like Seth around you all the time but you
cant touch them? All I want to do is to touch
himhell, I even want to lick him, but I
cantnot yesterday, not today, and probably
not tomorrow, either.
Looks like it. Seth glances sideways at
me and chuckles under his breath. Its okay,
we have forever to do other things.
I feel my eyes widen a fraction as an unflinching Seth scans the driveway in front of
us. Does he even know what he said?
Forever.
He wants to be with me forever I love
Seth and I cant really picture my life without
him, and he loves me too, God knows he
says it enough, but I didnt know hes actually thinking about foreveris he even capable of forever?
Seth shuts the engine off and slips from
the car. Hes at my side before I get my door
open and flashes me a confident, yet slightly

135/723

tired smile. Thats what I like most about

Seth. Hes a gentlemanwell, almost. Hes
the kind of gentleman that opens doors for
you and then slaps you firmly on the ass as
you pass by, all with an unapologetic smile
plastered on his face.
I slide from the car and he closes the door
behind me. Seths fingers entwine with mine
and he pulls me alongside him all the way to
the front door. He turns the handle and we
enter the house. Boxes litter the hallway and
fill the living room. I stop walking when I
hear a giggle come from behind a tall tower
of cardboard.
I got here early, bro. Jacksons voice
calls out. I moved all of the boxes by myselfand, uh, you might want to give us a
few minutes.
I angle my head to peer around a box, but
I cant locate their exact position. When I
hear a quiet moan, I snap upright. Oh. They

136/723

need a few minutes because theyre doing

that.
Thats cool. Im going to have a shower,
anyway. With a shrug of his shoulders, Seth
pulls me into the kitchen, up the stairs, and
into his room. I feel better once inside. The
last thing I want is to see Selenas or Jacksons junk. Dont they have any shame? First
my couch and now thismy God. I would
never have sex anywhere thered be a chance
Id get caught. No way in hell.
So you have that to look forward to now,
I tell him.
Seth strolls into the bathroom and I follow. I lean against the wooden beam of the
door when I get to it.
Its nothing new. Jackson and I have
lived together beforethe shit Ive seen.
Seth shakes his head before he pulls his
white tank top over it. My gaze flicks over his
hard chest, following the sharp flow of
muscles down to his V shape. I wait for his

137/723

hands to curl around his shorts and pull

them down, but when they dont, I glance
back to his face.
What have you seen? I ask, pretending I
wasnt just ogling the hell out of him.
Selena hasnt said anything?
Im really starting to wonder who her best
friend is here. Why does Seth know
everything and Im learning things second
hand through him? I shake my head.
Jackson is a verydifficult person to
please. I frown and Seth continues.
Sexually.
Oh.
Yeah, hes into certain things. Public sex,
being in control, toys
Toys?
He calls them toys, I call them weapons
of torture.
I feel my face scrunch up. And
Selenashe likes that sort of thing?

138/723

I watch as Seth opens the shower door

and flicks on the water. When he steps back,
his fingers curl around his shorts and he
pushes them down his legs. My eyes flick
over him, taking in every line, every shape
and every shade. To be so perfect should be
illegal and the punishment? Fifty tongue
lashings to every perfect mound of
musclewhat the hell is wrong with me?
Reluctantly, I drag my eyes back to his face.
I
dont
know,
I
havent
askedpersonally, I dont really care about
their sex life. I am, however, extremely interested in ours. His lips twitch. Are you joining me or are you just going to keep pretending youre not eye-fucking the shit out of
me?
My mouth drops and an offended gust of
air falls out. Im not eye-fucking you, Im
admiring your physique. Youre welcome.
He rolls his eyes and steps closer. I unintentionally hold my breath as his index

139/723

finger hooks onto the collar of my tank top

and he pulls me into the bathroom, shutting
and locking the door behind me. I swallow
hard as his rough hands slide under my shirt
and up the contour of my body. I lift my
hands to help him get the shirt off as the
room quickly fills with steam.
His rough hands skim across the skin
along my waist and hook onto my bra. The
look but dont touch rule doesnt apply to us
anymore. He smiles.
So it seems.
I feel my bra loosen and my chest become
heavier as my breasts support themselves. I
pull my bra down my arms and drop it onto
the floor as Seths fingers snake into my hair
to release my locks from their tie. When hes
done, I slide my shorts down the length of
my legs and step out of them. I look at Seth
and his eyes darken. A hot flush rolls
through me, igniting a fire underneath my
skin. It pulsates and flares, burning

140/723

relentlessly and refusing to settle. I dont

want it to stop and theres only one thing
that can stop the fire tearing through me and
its right in front of me.
Seth opens the shower door for me and I
slip inside, immediately immersing myself in
the hot stream. I step out of the way when
Seth enters so he can have some water. I
watch as he angles his head down, letting the
streams crash into his head and shoulders
and flowing down the length of his glorious
body.
Can I have some soap? he asks.
I grab the bottle of body wash that sits on
the top shelf and extend it to him. He doesnt
take it.
Put some in your hands.
Doing as he says, I squeeze a large amount
into my hand and put the bottle back. Seth
steps out of the water, his eyes still closed as
small droplets run across his eyelids.
Without another word, I reach out to him,

141/723

coating his chest in a thin layer of soap. I

cant hear his heavy breathing under the
crashing flow of water, but I can see his parted lips, and under my hands his chest
moves in a slow, deep rhythm. I massage his
large, wide chest with my finger tips before
flattening my palm and moving lower towards his alluringly stomach. I catch the inside corner of my bottom lip between my
teeth as I trace the shallow grooves between
each muscle and my body grows warmer
every second my skin lingers on his.
Ive missed your hands he mutters as
he slumps into himself, completely relaxing
under my touch.
My hands continue to roam him, trailing
between bumps of muscle and up his long
arms. Im not sure how long I wash him
forminutes.
Hours.
Days.

142/723

Who knows. What I do know though, is

that I feel completely at peace here with him.
Droplets of water slide over his mouth and
glisten like crystals as they reflect the light.
The drops pool together, continuing their
journey down his chin, and meander over his
throat, past his collarbonesI need to put
my mouth on those collarbones.
Tell me, Olivia The way he speaks
sends vibrations through my bloodstream
and directly between my legs. I look at his
facehes watching me closely. Did you
touch yourself when you couldnt have me?
I never let my eyesight waver from his and
I wait patiently for him to smileor do anything to tell me hes joking. Nothing happens. His eyes remain on mine, waiting for
an honest answer. I ignore his large friend
pointing at me and focus solely on his face.
Yes. Or at least I tried to. I never got
very far because I wanted him to touch me. I
tried to picture my hands as his, but they just

143/723

werent thick enoughor rough enough. His

lips curl slightly and he steps forward.
Youre naughty. He chuckles darkly.
Show me.
I swallow hard. Show you what? I ask,
playing dumb.
I know exactly what he wants me to show
him, Im just buying myself more time to
make up mind.
Show me how you touch yourself when
youre thinking about me.
I step back and my bare ass cheeks press
against the glass. I cant.
Touching myself is something Ive only
done in private time and sharing that with
someone else seemsodd. He inches closer
and snatches my wrist. I gasp as he pushes
my own hand between my thighs and moves
my fingers slowly against my soft flesh, under his guidance. Almost instantly, I notice
an increase in my breathing and my arousal
meter tips over the edge.

144/723

Seth brings his mouth closer to mine and

his warm breath collides with my face.
I want you to do it, I tell him as I slip my
hand from his, making his hard fingers press
firmly against my clit.
Its exactly what I wantrough and thick.
The mere thought of his fingers touching me
causes my breath to hitch and my knees to
almost buckle. I press the palms of my hands
against the glass, keeping my eyes on Seths.
He leans in close, and I flex my hips against
his hand.
Im not going to rub you, he states. But
I am going to taste you.
His tongue flicks out and runs across the
base of my ear lobe before tracing sensually
along my jaw. My blood burns as my skin
erupts with goosebumps. I roll my head to
the side, giving him more flesh to lick as he
lowers himself, nipping and sucking at my
skin. His strong arm surrounds my waist as
his mouth travels over my collarbone, down

145/723

my chest, and over one of my nipples. I try to

dig my fingers into the glass, but end up
balling my fists instead as my heads falls
back. My chest is heavy, filled with steam,
but its not the only reason Im breathing so
deeply.
I rake my teeth over my bottom lip as his
hand glides smoothly between my legs, circling slowly. Keeping my hips still is impossible, but I manage to roll it to a slow,
almost non-existent pace. Ive wanted him to
touch me for so long and now that its happening, I dont want it to endnot yet. I
close my eyes while his mouth brushes over
my belly button, across my hip and down to
my thigh. A light moan slips from my lips as
his hand curls around my knee and he
hitches it over his shoulder. I open my eyes
and glance down. Hes staring hotly up at
me, his eyes halved into lusty slits. Seth
opens his mouth and my eyes grow heavier

146/723

as he sensually slides his tongue directly over

my center.
Ohhh I moan, letting my head fall
back against the glass. Seth
The coarse feeling of his facial hair tickles
me everywhere, forcing the sensation to
build up quickly. My fingers slide across my
own hips and into his hair, urging him
harder onto me. His teeth move to my clit,
biting and nipping. I pull his hair a little too
roughly, causing him to moan and I feel it vibrate over every inch of my excited body.
Sliding one hand from his hair, I guide it
between my thighs and I feel the edge of his
lips pressed eagerly against my smooth skin.
He moves his mouth slightly, allowing me to
feel his tongue dart in and out of me.
Holy shit I moan.
My legs start to shake as my orgasm
builds rapidly, and as its about to tip over
the edge, Seth slips out from underneath my
leg and grabs my hand, forcing both of our

147/723

fingers onto my clit. He presses his whole

body against mine, forcing my back hard
against the glass. His mouth slams against
mine, absorbing all of my panting as our fingers quickly rub my sensitive flesh, sending
shockwaves of pleasure through me. I jolt
forward, moans sounding deep in my chest
as I taste my own excitement on Seths
tongue. His mouth doesnt let up until my
legs quiver uncontrollably and my moans
have subsided to deep slow breaths. He
sucks my bottom lip between his and slides
his hands up my side and around to my
backside, pulling me hard against him.
You will rub yourself for me next time.
Ive never seen Seth so demanding sexually before and its exciting. Im ready to go
again. I nod my head, pressing my mouth to
his and tasting myself for the second time.
He pulls away and plants a soft kiss on my
nose. Lets get out and help Jackson
unpack.

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Wait. What about you? I gesture to his

obvious arousal and he smiles, stepping
away from me and underneath the flow of
the shower before turning the hot water off.
His muscles tense as the cooler water runs
over his body, taking his erection with it.
You dont want to have sex? I ask, confused and disappointed.
I want to have sex with him. Now.
I want to have sex, but not in the shower
and not when people are downstairs. When I
take you again, I want you to be free to be as
loud as you want, and trust me, when that
time comes, you will be loud.
He turns the shower off and I follow him.
As we step out onto the bath mat, he hands
me a towel and I run it over my body, drying
every droplet and wrapping it around my
chest.
I lean against the shower and watch Seth
towel off. He runs the cloth up his arm and
over his black tattooa tattoo I still have no

149/723

idea what it represents, but it sure is beautiful. It isnt tribal, that I know for sure, but
the swirls and patterns would have you believe it is. The closer I look, the more the patterns look sharp and angry, but as they pass
over the shoulder, the curves become more
subtle and peaceful. My gaze drops to the
one running across his hip. If you can make
it through the night, theres a brighter day.
I remember the first time I saw it. It was
the very first time I saw Seth fight and win.
When did you get that one? I ask out of
nowhere.
Seth glances down and then goes back to
running the towel through his hair. When I
was sixteen.
I gape at him. Sixteen?
Yeah. I went through a bit of a dark period He chuckles. And I thought I was
cool.
I shift my weight onto my other leg. Do
you regret it?

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No. Id never get a tattoo Id end up regretting. They all mean something to me.
All of them? Even that? I ask, nodding
my head toward his shoulder.
He glances at his shoulder. Especially
that.
I arch a brow and he sighs as he wraps the
towel low on his hips.
Youre probably going to think its
stupid.
Its tattooed on your skin so it obviously
means a lot to you and I wont think
something that means so much is stupid.
I started my shoulder tattoo when I was
seventeen. He points to his upper bicep and
I make no comment on the absurdity of an
underage teenager getting a tattoo. One day
Dad and I got into a huge fight about responsibilityor lack thereof. I got pissed off
and being the spiteful asshole that I am, I
went and got a tattoo. In the beginning it
didnt really mean anything, just a bunch of

151/723

angry linesI would sit in the chair not saying a word and the guy would tattoo anything on me, going purely off my silence.
His finger follows the tattoo up to his
shoulder. Over time, we started talking and
I began opening up to him about my father
and how he wasnt impressed with any decision I ever made, even if it was a good one.
The tattoo guyDeclanwas fucking brilliant. He helped me through a lot of things.
My gaze follows Seths finger as he traces
his tattoo and then I see it. On his bicep is a
birdjust sitting there with its wings at its
sidesyou cant see it clearly, its made up of
shapes and swirls, not concrete lines. As the
tattoo progresses, theres another bird that
stretches over his shoulder and onto his
chest, wings spread and full of confidence.
Now that I see them, I cant unsee them.
Theyre as clear as day and I cant believe I
didnt see it before.

152/723

When my Dad died, I had the tattoo completed. His finger strokes the confident bird.
It might be a shit thing to say, but I think
Im a happier person because of it.
He gives me a tight smile and drops his
hands to adjust his towel.
I cant believe I didnt notice the birds before I say, changing the subject. I know
how Seth doesnt like to linger on topics
about his Dad for too longnot without getting pissed off, anyway.
Thats the whole point. I know theyre
there and what they mean, but to everyone
else, Im just another douchebag with a tribal
tattoo. Just the way I like it.
I laugh, sauntering closer. You have a lot
of hidden secrets, dont you?
Experiences, yes. Secrets, no.
His arms surround me and the crisp clean
scent of his skin filters in through my nostrils. I press my tongue against the roof of
my mouth to avoid licking him.

153/723

Cmon. Lets help Jackson and then eat.

***
A single, burning hot tear rolls down my
cheek and I swipe it away, blinking rapidly.
Why does it hurt so damn much?
Stupid onions. I sniffle, dicing the last
portion.
When Im done, I drop the knife and dab
my eyes with my tank top. I quickly scoop up
the onions and drop them in with the rest of
the salad before tossing it all together. I grab
the bowl, a pair of tongs, and a small bottle
of French dressing before strolling out the
back door and onto Seths back porch. Its a
low and spacious concrete deck surrounded
by small, sweet smelling bushes and long
concrete columns. His backyard is large,
filled with tiny fruit trees and huge terracotta
pots. Up on the hill at the back is a big pool
house with a large swimming pool to match.

154/723

Helping Jackson with his boxes took

hours, but hes almost set up now. I came
across a few boxes he refused to let me open
for sake of my own innocence which both
Seth and Selena found hilarious. Of course,
that led to Jackson and Seth bringing up the
strip club and how I reacted when Vivian, the
stripper, grinded on me and sucked my lip
into her mouth. Selena protested the fact Id
never gone to a strip club with her, but I
think I convinced her that I legitimately had
no idea we were even going. Thankfully,
nobody mentioned the incident with Don
and I think all those involved appreciated it.
I look around the backyard. The low lying
sun coats everything in a golden light that
makes my stomach flutter. Sometimes, its
the simple things that are breathtaking. Seth
is truly living the life here and I feel bad that
he has to leave his palace to visit me in Mom
and Dads house. I place the salad in the
middle of the table and drop into the seat

155/723

across from Selena. Apparently, Seth has to

sit at the head of his table, just like my dad
did at ours. It feels really nicelike Im
home. Jackson ignores the salad and dives
straight into his steak, making a big spectacle
of it.
Man, these steaks are killer!
Selena frowns at him with a small smile
on the corner of her lips. I havent really
spoken to her yet. We havent had time
alone, but looking at her this afternoon, Id
say she is one hundred percent happy with
Jackson and he seems happy with her. I try
to picture him pissed off and controlling, but
I cant. Hes too laid back and young to be
sodifficult. The only strange thing about
them is that they still claim theyre just
friends when I thought they were planning
on dating after Seths amateur tournament.
I promise you, its legitimately the best
thing youve ever eaten. Jackson groans,
sucking his finger.

156/723

I grip my glass of red wine and bring it to

my lips, taking a sip. Seths chesty chuckle
draws everyones attention and he leans back
in his chair, completely relaxed as he drags
an index finger across his bottom lip. His
dark eyes flick to me and his mouth curls into a cocky, unapologetic smile. I dont know
about that, he says.
Wine catches in my throat and I choke,
spluttering like an idiot.
Oh come on, you two! Selena groans.
Were eating dinner.
Jackson laughs, throwing his head back
and exposing a mouth full of food. I feel my
cheeks burn. Im glad someone is finding it
so hilarious. Seth raises his glass of water to
me before taking a mouthful and I scowl at
him, but he doesnt care. He says and does
whatever he wants. Theres no censoring
himand maybe thats why Im so into him.
Hes unpredictableexciting. My scowl
quickly melts into a grin and I bite my lip as I

157/723

scoop salad onto my plate and mix it with my

grilled chicken. I cant be mad about that, I
suppose. It was a compliment, a naughty
compliment Id rather he not repeat, but one
nonetheless.
Relax, Selena. Seth laughs, sitting forward in his seat. My words have nothing on
what you and Jackson were doing on the living room floor when we got home.
Maybe not, but after the shower you and
Olivia took, Id say were even, Jackson
chimes in with a flick of his eyebrows.
Great. They heard it. I sit my glass down
and scoop salad into my mouth, doing anything to prevent myself from being dragged
into the conversation. Selena giggles, beaming widely at me and suddenly Im trying
hard not to smile.
What do you want me to say? I ask her
through chewed food. Sorry?
She flashes me her palms, biting back a
smile. Nothing.

158/723

After that, dinner conversation flowed

from naughty to naughtier. All of them are
talking about things theyve seen in movies
or strip clubsnot all of them appealing or
sexy, either. Heres an interesting fact I
learned, Jacksons favorite sex position is
doggy style. It turns out hes really into ass
slapping and hair pulling. Selena giggles the
whole time, agreeing with everything he said.
Seth, however, refused to state his favorite,
claiming hes easily pleased and they all work
just fine. I refused to add any personal preferences to the conversation. Selena knows almost everything about me and Im glad she
didnt spill any of my likes and dislikes over
the dinner table.
When Selena and Jackson turn to each
other for a quick make out session, Seth
leans closer to me. Theyve been drinking
since early this afternoon, just go with it.
Drinking since this afternoon? Theres the
Selena I know and lovam used to. I stab

159/723

the last piece of chicken with my fork and

put it into my mouth before dropping the
fork back to my plate and pushing it aside.
My stomach is heavy and I contemplate cutting my shorts to make more room for my
food baby.
As soon as I finish, Seth and Jackson rise
from the table and gather the plates, leaving
Selena and I alone. She jumps from her chair
and gestures for me to follow her into the
backyard. I slide from my chair and follow
her. It isnt until I follow her past the pool
house, into the pool yard and she pulls a cigarette from her bra that I realize shes come
all the way out here to have a cigarette.
She lights her cigarette and inhales
deeply. She expels the smoke with a relaxed
sigh and looks at me. I feel my brow arched
and accusing.
Jackson doesnt like it when I smoke,
she says with a small smile.
So you hide from him?

160/723

I dont hideokay, yeah, I hide. Hes difficult to deal with and Id rather not frustrate
him.
Am I the only who doesnt know who
Jackson is?
Did he almost punch your dad? I ask out
of nowhere.
She shakes her head, almost disappointedly. Yeahit was fucked up. He doesnt
understand how Dad is. You know how he is,
hes an asshole, hes strict and he expects a
lot from me.
Yeah, but youve never really cared what
he wanted you to do or become.
She shrugs, swaying slightly. Maybe its
sinking in now. Im turning twenty-fuckingfour and I still act like Im seventeen. I want
to grow up now and I think Im ready, but I
dont know what I want. I dont know if I
want to live with Dad anymore. I want to
travel. Im not sure if I want to be with Jackson in the long runI just dont know. She

161/723

rattles off her sentences in a random order,

but I manage to keep up. Having a conversation with Selena about growing up is
something I never thought Id share with
her. Until recently, she was completely
happy with her carefree life. Whats
changed?
You dont know if you want to be with
Jackson?
She drags an inhale through her cigarette,
making the red ember at the end burn
brightly. I really like him. She exhales. But
he isnt a long term kind of guyand its not
like Im the only one hes had sex with in the
past few weeks.
What? He cheated on yo
Its not cheating, O. Were not together
and at the time it happened, I was there too,
but it felt different.
I cringe. Of course she was referring to a
threesome. I bite my tongue and ask her
what she means by different. I dont want to

162/723

hear the dirty details of their sex life, but I

am her best friend and she needs to get
things off her chest, which means I have to
step up to the plate.
Normally, when I do those kinds of
things Im okay with itbut the other week,
when it happened I feltalmost disgusted.
Was it the other girl?
No, the other girl was perfect, practically
a ten.
Then what was the problem?
Selena shrugs. I think I was jealous I
didnt want to share him.
Awww! I squeal, balling my hands into
fists like an excited child. You like him!
Like, like-like him.
She shakes her head again, like shes not
happy about it. I dont want to like him
She runs her hand over her face and I step
closer to her, no longer caring about the cigarette smoke that engulfs me. Why not?
What happened?

163/723

Hes too I hear her voice shake and she

clears his throat. Hes difficult, O.I cant
even begin to explain it to you. You wont
make sense of it.
Try me.
She blows air out of her cheeks. Hes very
demanding, always needing things done a
certain way and with sex, he needs hard and
fast, pain and pleasure, all of that shit. Hes
damagedso fucking damaged, and I know I
shouldnt bother with him, but I cant walk
away.
If youre not happy, then leave.
I am happy, Im beyond happy with him,
but hes not the kind of guy youre meant to
fall for. Hes the one you fuck once or twice
and then move on. He isnt the one you settle
down with.
So what if he isnt? You should at least
try to communicate your feelings with him.
Selena laughs once. Youre really cute,
but Jackson isnt Seth. He isnt all badass

164/723

with the boys and then cute and cuddly behind closed doors with his girl. Jackson is
hard through and through and I wouldnt
bring anything deep and meaningful up with
him. I dont want to scare him away.
I open my mouth to tell her to take the
plunge, but a swinging gate cuts me off.
Selena drops her cigarette and stamps it out
as she flicks her hair around her shoulders.
From her back pocket she pulls a small bottle
of mint mouth spray and sprays it on her
tongue. I watch her, curiously as she runs
her tongue over her teeth and shifts her
weight onto her other leg like were just
standing here contemplating getting into the
pool.
I was going to suggest we watch a movie,
but skinny dipping sounds much more fun,
Jackson announces, pulling his tight shirt
over his head and exposing his rippling
stomach. Selena giggles, pulling off her own
shirt. Shes looking a little softer these days,

165/723

more curvy. Its amazing what a few extra

pounds can do to your sex appeal. Her body
is banging and Jackson appreciates it, too.
Even in the faint glow of the pool light I can
see his eyes greedily drinking in her features
as she slips her little black skirt down her
legs.
Keep the underwear on, I beg as Jacksons fingers curl around Selenas underwear
and he tugs her closer to him. For my sake.
Suddenly, glowing lights inside rocks surrounding the edge of the pool flick on and I
no longer have to rely on the dim light at the
bottom of the pool as my main source of
light. I glance around the yard, taking in all
of the features I missed in the dark. The pool
is a standard, jelly bean shape surrounded
with dark rocks, giving off the perfect
lagoon effect. My gaze follows the pool from
the pool house steps, across the water, over
the spa and onto a gorgeous, wide sunbed

166/723

underneath a beautiful, dark rock-like

canopy.
Jackson and Selena stroll hand in hand
over to the steps and lower themselves into
the water. They laugh and talk and whisper
while I sit down on the edge, dipping my feet
into the cool water.
You managed to get them to keep their
clothes on. Well done. Seth chuckles, sitting
down next to me and dipping his legs into
the pool.
Selena giggles as Jackson pulls her into
him. I look over just in time to see his tongue
flick out and lick her bottom lip.
I laugh. I get the feeling it isnt going to
last too long.
Seths ankle hooks around mine and I
glance down at our legs. I like Seth in shorts.
I like seeing the definition in his clavesso
thick and perfectly shaped.
I look back to Selena and Jackson. To me,
theyre the perfect couple. Both beautiful,

167/723

both fun and carefreeI watch as Jacksons

mouth sinks over Selenas throat and she
gasps, wincingand both unashamed of taking on an audience. I didnt think anything
of it until Selenas black underwear floats by
Seth and I.
Time to go. I groan, pulling my feet from
the water.
With a lazy laugh, Seth rises and follows.
He walks closely behind me as I flee from the
pool yard and return to the barbeque area. I
grab my phone off the table and check the
time. Quarter past seven.
I should probably go now I tell him
with a small pout.
I want to stay with him, to finally sleep in
his arms again, but I cant. Not tonight. With
a small nod, Seth goes inside and retrieves
his car keys off the bench. I follow him
through the house, stepping over empty
boxes and scrunched newspapers, before finally exiting out the front door. As we walk

168/723

up the path, Seth threads his fingers through

mine. Youll stay with me tomorrow night?
I cant help but smile up at him. Like I
needed and invitation. Absolutely.
We approach his white Range Rover and
he opens my door for me. Always the gentleman, I say, slipping past him and sliding
into my seat.
A gentleman, you say?
Through and through.
His lips curve into his trademark smile.
Well have to change that.
He closes my door and circles the car,
climbing in behind the drivers seat.
Why do you want to change that? I ask
him out of curiosity. Being a gentleman is a
good thing.
It doesnt fit me, Im anything but
gentle.
I disagree. Youre very gentle I think
about my words. when you want to be.

169/723

Yeah, well, dont tell anyone. I punch

faces for a living, remember. He smiles at
me as he starts the car. Being gentle doesnt
do much to help my intimidation factor.
He reverses out of the driveway and I
watch his face. The small, happy twitch in his
lips sends my heart fluttering. To think I
make him so happy with my mere presence.
Me.
Olivia.
The girl who refused to leave a shitty long
term relationship with her cheating boyfriend, the girl whose sexual experience
dwindles at two, the girl who ignored her
work responsibilities the moment someone
attractive was interested in her, and the girl
whos too plain when put up against Seths
looks and out-going personality. Strangely,
he sees me as his equal like Im just as intense and attractive as he is.

170/723

You didnt tell me what your favorite sex

position is, by the way, he says, moistening
his bottom lip with his tongue.
I like them all.
All of them? You dont have a specific
favorite?
I shrug. You dont.
I do, but I sure as shit wasnt going to
share it Selena and Jackson.
I fold my arms. Okay, so what is it?
He glances sideways at me and then back
to the road. You wanna know?
Yes.
You really wanna know?
I slap my palms onto my legs, impatient
with his torture. Seth, come on!
With you, its missionary.
A laugh forces its way up my throat and I
cover my face with my hands. Missionary?
Yeah, missionary. He seems almost offended. Whats wrong with that?

171/723

I tuck my hair behind one ear and pull my

hands away from my face. Nothing is wrong
with it. I just assumed youd have a favorite
thats a little moredirty.
Dont get me wrong, I like the others just
as much, but with you missionary is my favorite. I like being close to you.
My chest stops hiccupping with giggles as
an almost shy expression crosses Seths
features.
I like being close to your lipsI like to
feel your breath on my face or in my ear and
I like it when your hands glide over my arms
and shoulders.
He glances at me again, biting back a
smile. Anyway, thats my reasoning. Whats
your favorite?
I purse my lips as I contemplate telling
him or not. I dont want to because my position isnt the same as his and theres no way I
can come up with a reason as sweet as that.
Truth is, the position I like the best is purely

172/723

for animalistic reasons. I like having Seth

underneath me and between my legs. I like
taking control of him for a change.
All of the above.
He laughs once and slaps the steering
wheel. I knew you werent going to tell me,
Im such a sucker! I guess were going to
have to do them all.
All of them? I squeeze my thighs tighter
at the thought.
He nods. Ill decide which one drives you
crazy the most.
I roll my eyes. Of course youd turn this
into a challenge.
Hell, yes, and it just might be my favorite
challenge yet.
***
The car rolls to a stop in front of my house
and I linger in my seat a little longer before I

173/723

unclip my belt. I hate leaving Seth and I hate

sleeping without him.
Dont worry about your car. Ill pick it up
for you tomorrow morning and bring it back
before you start work.
I smile, remembering that my work is
managing my fathers old gym with my current professional fighter boyfriend. My life
was so different a few months agowho
wouldve thought Id be here now.
You dont have to. I can catch a bus to the
gym or walk.
Fuck that. Your car will be here waiting
for you when youre ready to leave.
I nod, not wanting to upset Mr. Bossyboots. I lean across the center console and
kiss him on his lips. Thank you.
He kisses me back. Ill see you in the
morning. Tell your brother I said hi.
I will. I grab my backpack off the floor
between my feet and exit the car. Before I

174/723

close the door, I turn to Seth and say, Its

sitting on you, by the way.
He arches an eyebrow. Hm?
I casually sling my backpack over my
shoulder. My favorite positionits sitting
on you.
His lips part as I close the door and step
onto the sidewalk. Without looking back, I
open the gate, walk up the path, and enter
the house. My body buzzes at the thought of
sexually frustrating him, and if that isnt going to keep him up tonight, then I dont
know what will.

Chapter Five
Seth
Holy fucking hell. I have half a mind to
turn my car around, kick her door down and
force her to ride meI cant imagine her
mother or her brother appreciating that very
much, though. I smile to myself. What a sexy
little minx. She did it on purpose, too; undoubtedly because I chose not to have sex in
the shower tonight which, by the way, was a
fucking hard decision, especially after I

176/723

already had her taste on my tongue. I didnt

avoid having sex with her purely because I
wanted to rock her world without demeaning
her in front of Jackson and Selena who, lets
face it, love to torment her every chance they
get. I also didnt have sex with her because I
wanted to show her that Im more than
happy taking care of her without wanting
anything in returngirls love that shit,
right?
I like being close to your lipsI like to
feel your breath on my face or in my ear
and I like it when your hands glide over my
arms and shoulders.
To think the whole time I was thinking romantically, Olivias train of thought was the
complete opposite of minenaughty. I never
intended to say that to her. It just flowed so
easily from me, without thought and it
wasnt the first time today Id said something
I never intended to. I told her this afternoon
that wed have forever to do other things.

177/723

What the hell was I thinking? Olivia and I

havent really spoken about the future. Im
certain I want to marry her and be with her
forever, but I know she doesnt expect that
from me and I dont want to come off too
strong. Will I ever have the balls to ask her
what she wants? Will I ever have the balls to
ask her to marry me? Ive come close to asking a million times, but I pussy out at the last
minute. Its not like me. Im very upfront. I
say what I want and ignore the consequences, but I cant fuck this up. It needs
to be perfect. It needs to be everything shes
ever wanted. When I said forever, I felt her
eyes on meanalyzing me. I wanted to look
at her, to read her expression, but I didnt for
sake of being scared to see her displeased. I
felt the disbelief in her posture. It was an uncertain hunch, like she was unsure if Im for
real or not.
I am.

178/723

Ive never been more certain of anything

in my life. I need Olivia. I need her to wear
the ring I give her, carry my last name, and
live in the house I buy for us and our family,
if we have one. I havent asked her yet because Im scared. What if she says no? What
if this relationship is only funtemporary? I
cant handle that. I cant take no for an answer and I wont. To be without her isnt an
option. I run my hand over my face. There I
go sounding like a fucking serial killer
again. I cant help it, though. In my mind its
her or nothing.
***
I open my door with caution, unsure of
what Im walking into. Knowing Jackson,
hed start in the pool and finish somewhere
between the kitchen and the front door, doing God knows what. I slip inside and close
the door behind me. The house is quiet.

179/723

There are no moansor screamsits silent,

as if everyone is in bed. With a sigh of relief,
I kick off my shoes and pinch the bridge of
my nose, hoping to fend off some of my
tiredness until I get into bed.
Hey man, youre back.
I stop in my tracks, slowly turning my
head toward my living room. Jackson is sitting on the couch shirtless, but with pants
onthank fuckand a cold beer in his hand.
I scan the living room, looking for Selena. I
wait a few seconds before I respond, expecting her to pop out from somewhere. She
doesnt.
Shes sleeping, Jackson says, sipping on
his beer.
I notice the way his jaw clenches and on
Jackson, thats never a good sign. I wasnt
gone longer than an hour, but I guess thats
plenty of time for them to fuck and fight.
I stroll into the living room and drop into
the armchair, crossing my legs at the ankles.

180/723

I never ask Jackson what happened. Usually,

I wait until he finds the right words.
I think I fucked up
I dont say anything, not yet.
She called me again.
My chest tightens and I sit forward in my
chair. Amelia?
He nods, taking another large sip at his
beer. She hasnt called me in months, not
since I moved to PortlandI wasnt expecting her to call me ever again.
What did she want?
I dont know. I told Selena to check my
phone, thinking it was you, and she asked me
who Amelia was.
He shakes his head. I couldnt tell her,
Seth. I dont ever want her knowing who
Amelia iswhat she didwhat I did.
I nod. Amelia was Jacksons first love. The
woman who literally chewed him up and spat
him back out. Shes a real piece of worka
sadistic, controlling whore who loves nothing

181/723

more than to fuck with peoples minds. Feelings, love and sexto her its one big game.
Always playing games, I scoff, crossing
my arms.
You should have seen Selenas face
Jackson rakes a hand through his hair.
She went to bed straight after that?
Yeah
I frown. And you havent gone up yet?
He shakes his head, his eyes flicking to his
mobile phone. Motherfucker. Hes waiting
for Amelia to call back. Fuck no! Shell never
talk to him again, not if I have anything to do
with it. I launch myself out of my armchair,
grab Jacksons phone and throw it, sending
it crashing against my wall and falling into
bits and pieces on the carpet.
Fuck that shit, Jacks. What are you doing
sitting down here and waiting for her to call
you back? Dont you remember what state
you were in the last time you let her sink her
claws into you?

182/723

I do. I remember it clearly. He was fucked

up on everything, drugs and alcoholhe was
borderlining a trip to the mental hospital,
thats how fucked up he was. No way am I
going to let him go through that shit again.
Jackson barely bats an eyelid as I tower
over him.
Put the goddamn beer down and get your
ass upstairs before you do anymore damage.
Jackson may not admit itever(and I
cant believe Im admitting it) but Selena is
good for him. Shes a lot like him in a way
and can certainly take a lot of his shit. I
thought Jackson was moving on from
Amelia, the grown-ass woman who ruined
his teenage years.
Obviously not.
I cant say what happened between them
exactly because I dont know. Jackson refuses to tell anyone the full story.
I dont want to go up there.
Why?

183/723

Because I cant look her in the face, I

cant explain what just happened.
Then dont, but dont sit down here leaving her alone all night upstairs with her own
thoughts. You know how girls are, they overthink things.
He drops his head.
Look at me, I demand, my voice coming
out a lot more aggressive than I really feel.
He hesitates before dragging his green gaze
to mine. When you first met Selena I told
you to stay away because I didnt want your
fucked up issues to ruin my chances with
Olivia and somehow, I get the feeling you not
going upstairs right now will do just that.
You might be having fun and Selena might
not mean much to you, but Olivia means the
world to me and I wont let you fuck it up.
He grits his teeth before raking the top
row across his bottom lip. Youre wrong.
What?
Selena means a lot to me

184/723

I feel my face straighten out in surprise.

There isnt much that can surprise me anymore, Ive seen it allbut this I didnt see
coming. Then prove it.
With a heavy sigh, Jackson rises to his feet
and slams back the rest of his beer. He hands
the empty bottle to me and I take it.
You owe me a phone.
Gladly.
I dont move until he disappears through
the kitchen. When hes gone, I stroll from the
living room into the kitchen. I drop the
empty beer bottle into the bin and flick out
the lights before sauntering up the stairs in
the darkness. When I reach the top, I hear
quiet murmurs of conversation coming from
their room. I hope he tells her and I hope she
takes it wellwhatever it is, and if he
doesnt tell her, I hope one day hell reveal
his story, if not to me, then at least to
someone he loves.

185/723

***
(T-minus five days until Vegas)
Roll into him, get away from his legs!
Darryl orders and I follow, rolling my hips
and getting out of Jacksons submission. I
push off of him, my chest burning heavily.
Coming mainly from boxing, my ground
work isnt too great and it takes a lot out of
me once Im down. My main goal in any fight
is to keep standing, be quick, and never give
my back to the opponent. I get that once
youre on the ground its difficult to defend
yourself when theyre on top and punching
you in the face, but the last thing you should
do is roll over and give them your back. Rear
naked chokes fucking suck and will have you
tapping out like a bitch within seconds. Unfortunately for me, my first opponent is
world wrestling champion, Junior Moset,

186/723

known for his killer ground game and hardcore submissions.

Good. Darryl exhales, putting his stopwatch down and stepping onto the mat.
We turned one of the training rooms into
a private room for me, complete with my
very own cage and training mats. The MMAC
had issues with the way I trained and would
prefer me to follow some of their methodsmats, ropes, gloveseverything.
Now Ill show you how to prevent a rear
naked choke, he says, sitting on the mat. He
nods his head to Jackson and he slides in behind Darryl. Most rear naked chokes will
come in from behind.
He shifts backwards and Jackson wraps
his legs around Darryls waist, attempting to
hold him across the chest.
What we dont want is for your opponent
to connect his hands, because it wont take
long for him to wrap that arm around your
neck. As one hand comes over the shoulder

187/723

and the other underneath the opposite arm,

push your shoulders up and keep your chin
down. Then, grab the upper and clamp down
on the second so he has no mobility. When
youve done that, drive to the underhook side
and put the back of your head on the floor.
I watch as Darryl plays it out with
Jackson.
As that happens, let go of his arm and
wriggle until your shoulders and hips are
firmly on the ground. As you get outand
any good grappler will do thisyour opponent is going to try and roll on top. When he
does, Darryl slides out from underneath his
opponent, establishing a half guard. Go
either half guard or full guard, keep him
away with your legs, and work on getting
yourself back to your feet.
Darryl jumps to his feet. Try it.
I drop into a seated position on the mat as
Jackson wraps his legs around my waist. As
his hands come around to choke me from

188/723

behind, I grab his arm, clamp down, and

drive myself to the side. I follow Darryls orders step by step until Im on my back and
keeping my opponent away with my feet.
Great, Darryl cheers. A few more techniques and hopefully we can perfect your
ground work before the fight.
I climb to my feet and Darryl slaps me on
the back as Jackson hands me a bottle of water. He smiles at mea genuine smileand I
assume he and Selena made up last night.
They were gone before I got up this morning.
I stroll over to the windows and hit the button so I can see out into the gym. Were doing pretty well todayespecially for this
early in the morning. Classes are cranking,
we have boxers, runners, cyclists, and rowers
all doing their thing. Its good to see Ricks
gym thriving without him. Hed be very
proud if he was here with us now. The elevated, happy feeling Ive got in the pit of my
stomach drops the moment I see him step

189/723

through the door. My stare rakes over his

bald head and seedy face.
What the fuck? I swear, dropping my
water bottle to the ground and tearing my
door open.
I hear Jackson and Darryl curse and call
my name, but I dont stop. No way in hell can
I ignore that piece of shit walking around my
gym.
Don! I shout, drawing the attention of a
few gym goers.
Him and his two boys turn slightly and
they all smirk at me. I clench my fists. I can
take them all, right now.
Well, well, Mr. Professional Fighter.
Long time no see. I grit my teeth together at
the sound of Dons voice.
Seth, dont do it, Jackson tells me. Let
someone else deal with him.
I ignore him. Don is my problem, not anyone elses. Hes heading for the stairs to the
office, too and theres no way in hell Ill let

190/723

him within ten feet of Olivia. I march right

up to him, slipping in between him and the
stairs. My entire body is clenched and ready
to go. Don looks the samebald head and an
angular face with a jaw made of glass. I know
because I almost shattered it the last time we
fought. I came close to breaking his arm, too.
I thought Id come down and check out
the gym set up of Portlands favorite fighter.
His smile widens. Thats a mighty cute billboard youve got outside, too.
Jackson laughs. Mighty cute? Jesus
Christ.
Dons amused expression doesnt falter.
What do you want, Don? Darryl chimes
in, but I dont take my eyes off of the bald asshole in front of me.
I want to speak to the manager. My
friends and I are looking for a new place to
train. He turns to his friends. What was her
name? Pretty face, big, green eyes and a
killer rack He snaps back to me with a

191/723

click of his fingers. Olivia, yeah, thats it.

Shes the manager, isnt she?
I start forward, but Jackson slips in front
of me, barely pressing his hands against my
chest. Dont do it.
Youve worked too hard, Seth, Darryl
adds.
Don straightens his grey t-shirt and smiles
wryly. Isnt that nice?
He attempts to step around me, but my
arms shoot out and I shove him backwards.
With a growl he launches forward, but Darryl
grabs him, forcing him a few steps back and
into his friends. Jacksons heels are digging
into the ground, his shoulders pressing
against me as he fights to keep me back from
Don.
Seth? I hear her voice before I see her
green eyes peer up at me from around my
waist. Whats going on?
Jackson steps away, knowing Id never
bowl Olivia over to get to Don. I glance down

192/723

at her and theres a worried expression on

her face.
Theres the girl I wanted to see. Don
chuckles, licking his lips.
Darryl steps back, but keeps his position
between Don and I. Olivias face falls and her
eyebrows draw together. Slowly, she turns
around and when she sees him, her
shoulders square. What are you doing
here?
He steps closer and Darryl doesnt budge.
Ive come to scout a new gym. Some welcoming committee you have here. Do you
treat all potential customers like this?
Youre not welcome here.
I step closer to her, pressing my front
against her back and planting my hand on
her hip for support.
Don nods slowly, clearly pissed off. What
did he expect? Does he seriously think well
open our doors to him?
I see how it is.

193/723

Get out of here, Don, Darryl demands,

his fingers flexing at his sides.
Don runs his hand over his bald head.
Fine. He looks Olivia dead in the eyes. Ill
talk to you when your dogs arent around.
I step around Olivia, my chest rumbling
with anger. I dont know what happened
next. Theres a whole lot of shouting and
people grabbing at me, and all I see is Dons
face through a red haze. There are too many
hands on me to count and I know more
people have come to prevent me from
smashing Don into a million pieces. Don is
torn from the gym and I storm across the
floor, ignoring all of the scared stares. I head
straight for my training room, hearing smaller footsteps slap the floor behind me. He
pisses me off and I fucking hate that I know I
deserve all of it. Everything hes doing to me
and Olivia is my fault. I cant even remember
his girlfriends namethats whats really
messed up. I always blamed her for what

194/723

happened. Id always tell myself the she was

the one that was unfaithful, not mewhich is
true, in a way. I mean, I sure as shit I didnt
force her to have sex with me. I can assure
you she decided that on her own. I feel shit
about it now, because I cant help but wonder if the girl I took from Don was his Olivia.
What if she was the one he wanted to spend
the rest of his life with, but she turned out to
be unfaithful? Im not going to call her a
whore or a slut because, well, what does that
say about me? It wasnt her fault, not
entirely.
Anyway, screw that. Don has done way too
much shit for me to feel sorry for him now
though, and every time I see his face, I cant
help but think of his intentions with Olivia.
Id die before Id let his unnerving gaze rest
upon her naked perfectionand the fucking
nerve of him showing up here to talk to her!
I grab a fifty kilo boxing bag off the floor
and throw it, desperately needing something

195/723

to take off the edge. I want to fight and I

want to fight right now. I pace the room, not
once looking at Olivia, who steps away from
the door and makes her way slowly over to
me.
I feel her tension rolling off of her in
waves and when I finally lift my eyes to her
face, I can see shes trying desperately to
hide it. My heart beats rapidly in my chest,
sending adrenaline and anger through my
veins. Theres an ache there too, an ache
thats trying desperately to cut off air to my
lungs. I breathe quick and deep through my
nose to prevent myself from really going off.
I was so close to throwing it all away, I
tell her. One hit is all it wouldve taken and I
was willing to do it. I shake my head. Why
does he get to me so easily?
Don is irritatinghe makes everyone
want to kick him, its just who he is.

196/723

I cant help the twitch that pulls at my

lips. I thought that if I beat him, hed go
away.
Hes a cockroach. He isnt ever going
away, Darryl says, scratching the top of his
dark hair. I didnt notice him come in behind
Olivia. Hell probably be right behind you
for the rest of your life and you need to deal
with itnot with your fists, but with your
brain.
Jackson casually slings his arm around a
dummy and says, You have what he wants
and he isnt going to stop until hes higher
than youproblem is, hell never be higher
than you.
What do you want me to do?
Olivia shrugs, her long dark hair sprawling further across her shoulders. Its simple.
Ignore him and walk away. A person like
Don doesnt like to be ignored. He craves the
thrill of attention. Don't give it to him.

197/723

The ache in my chest dulls, lessening my

anger as well. I don't think Ive had so much
support in my life. It feels good.
Okay. I breathe. Im in the pros nowI
need to think about my career.
Darryl claps, making the stopwatch
around his neck jolt. Now thats sorted,
weve got training to do. Grappling, lets get
into it.
***
After seeing Don, training flew by and
Darryl seemed to be impressed with my aggressive approach. It helped to picture Dons
head on Jackson's body, although I dont
think Jackson appreciated it much. Especially when I hit too hard and split his lip.
Olivia watched all of the ground training, but
fled the room once we took it into the cage.
Later, she resurfaced to tell me shes going
home and shell meet me at my house later

198/723

tonight. I walked her to her car just to be

safe, even though she told me it was
unnecessary.
Ready to go? Darryl asks, shutting off
the training room lights and pulling me from
my thoughts of this afternoon.
Its late, the sun barely high enough to
produce proper lighting. All I want is to go
home, have a shower, and spend the rest of
the night in bed with Olivia.
Yeah, I grab my shirt and pull it on over
my head.
My arms felt weak. We spent the whole
day in the gym working on improving techniques and all I want is to rest.
We stroll from the room and give the main
area a once over before slipping out the door
and locking it behind us.
Tomorrow six a.m.
I nod. Got it.

199/723

I fish for my keys out of my pocket and

out of nowhere a hard fist drives into my kidney, throwing me forward.
What the f
I grunt as another fist clips the side of my
cheek, causing my brain to roll in my head.
In defense, I launch forward, ducking an arm
and slamming someone in the ribs. Before I
can throw another, a fist connects with my
mouth and it starts to burn as an old cut
splits against my teeth. Thick arms seize
mine, pulling me upright to face the man in
front of me. My eyes scan over a bald head
and dark, green eyes.
You motherfucker, he growls. His arm
snaps out and slams into my ribs, forcing the
air out. You think you can disrespect me?
Another hit to my ribs has me hunching in
pain. Fuck. It hurts to breathe. Don grabs a
fistful of my hair and I spit blood at him.
What a pussy, attacking me in the parking lot
unexpectedly.

200/723

Hey, Seth, tomor I keep my eyes on

Don as he whips around to see Darryl standing there. Darryls car keys crash to the concrete and all emotion drains from his face.
He has a cold look in his eyes, like he's out
for blood. He starts for Don and when he
reaches him, Don throws a right hook that
Darryl ducks before his fist connects with
Dons jaw. Don stumbles under the force of
Darryls punchstunned that a man Darryls
age can rock him with one punch. Suddenly,
I'm released and I waste no time diving forward to help Darryl. Don's friends push Don
out of the way, concealing him behind their
back and they come down hard on Darryl
and I.
Darryl holds his own, fending off two guys
as I take on the last. Hes slow compared to
me, and even with the pain searing through
my chest, I out punch him a million to one. I
grab his head and drag it down before I slam
my knee into his nose. I feel warm, sticky

201/723

blood seep down my leg and I let the guy go

as he stumbles backwards clenching his face.
Darryl is curled up on the ground next to me
as two guys kick him with all the force they
have. I launch for them, but Don joins the
fight again, coming out of nowhere and
thrusting himself into me. I stumble backwards as he grabs the collar of my shirt and
swings. I just managed to duck it as he drops
my shirt and delivers another strong hit to
my ribs. Pain flares and my knees buckle. I
fall to the ground, groaning and clenching
my sides.
Learn some fucking respect, he growls
before whistling to his dogs and storming off.
Moaning, I drag myself to my feet,
cradling my ribs. I didnt see that coming
and Im too hurt to be pissed off right now,
but tomorrow, when my brain isnt swelling
against my skull, hes a fucking dead man. I
watch as Darryl pulls himself to his feet, his
face already bruising.

202/723

Are you all right? I ask, spitting blood

onto the concrete.
Dont worry about me. He coughs and
winces, clenching his stomach. Im not the
one with an interview next weeklook at the
size of the cut on your lip.
I run my tongue along it, feeling the tenderness immediately. Darryl reaches out and
begins poking and prodding me, making sure
nothing is broken and thankfully, nothing
feels broken. Weak assholes couldnt even do
a decent job
Hes going to fucki
Dont do anything, Seth. Darryl exhales,
running his hands over his face.
All pain drains from my body. Youre not
serious?
We have to deal with this professionally,
police and everything. You cant risk losing
your career over this.
What if I was with Olivia tonight? What if
she got hurt instead of you?

203/723

His eyebrows furrow. Youre my main

concern, not her.
Fuck that, I snap.
Im too tired and too battered for this shit.
Dropping my gaze, I shove my hands in my
pocket, angrily digging for my keys. When I
get them, I turn from Darryl and storm to my
car.
Wincing, I slide in and slam the door before turning my car on and zooming away.
The aches of my body fade away as I try to
come up with something to tell Olivia. I dont
want her to come over tonight. I dont want
her to see me like this.

Chapter Six
Olivia
Come on! Chase laughs, tilting his head
back. Its not that bad.
I hold the photo of him at fourteen closer
to the computer and point at his horrible
undercut.
Look at it! How can you look at that and
think it looks good?
Chase laughs again, this time running a
hand over his tired face.

205/723

Our Skype session with Chase ended early

last night because he was called out on duty
at the last minute, so we rescheduled for tonight. I smile, looking at my brother. The
buzz cut suits his strong facemuch better
than his undercut did.
Hows Seth? he asks, genuinely
interested.
Good. I bite back a smile. Im staying at
his place tonight.
His face scrunches and he flicks his hand
at me. I dont want to know.
Growing up, my brother and I told each
other everything. Even though we had our
own friends at school, wed always come
home and hang out with each other, sharing
gossip about the other kids. We continued to
share secrets and information up until we
both became sexually activeafter that, it got
real awkwardespecially when Chase started
sleeping with a few of my friends.

206/723

In the hidden pocket in my dress, my

phone buzzed. I know its either Seth or
Darryl. Theyre closing the gym early tonight
and they said theyd call to let me know when
its all locked up. I slip my phone from my
pocket
and
glance
at
the
screenDarrylthought so.
Taking the phone call as a heads up, I let it
ring out, knowing its nothing important.
Is that Seth? Do you need to go?
I shake my head. No, its Seths coach,
Darryl. He said hed call me when the gym is
all locked up.
Sweet. Hows the gym going, anyway?
I smile widely. Its going great, actually.
Weve tripled our sign ups.
My phone buzzes again, drawing my attention and I frown. Give me a second. I
grab my phone.
Darryl?
Olivia He sighs in a tone that sends
dread spiraling into the pit of my stomach.

207/723

Im heading over to Seths nowI think you

should meet me there.
Im staring at the top of the desk and seeing nothing but Seths face.
Oli Mom steps out of the kitchen and I
silence her with a flash of my palm.
Is everything okay? I ask slowly, wondering what the hell could have happened in
the gym.
Not really, no. Piece by piece, he rattles
off what Don had done to them. Mom and
Chase watch me and I can see their mouths
move as they ask questions, but I cant hear
them. By the end of it, my hands are shaking
and my vision glazes over in a red haze. Don
jumped them in the parking lot? Seth is
hurt?
Im on my way.
I hang up and leap from my chair, raking
my fingers through my hair.
O? Chase asks, his face hard. Whats
going on?

208/723

Uh, I shake my head, unable to repeat

what Darryl told me.
Liv? he says, using his nickname for me.
Its been so long since Ive heard it and it immediately clears my head. O, Olly, Liv, sometimes its hard to keep up.
Seth is hurt.
Mom gasps, her fingers reaching up to
bridge her lips.
I have to go.
I slip my phone into my pocket and run
into the kitchen, grabbing my keys off the
rack.
Ill call you later, I tell Mom without
looking over my shoulder. You too, Chase.
I slam the door behind me and my heart
begins to race as it all sinks in. I look at my
phone. Why hasnt he called me?
I practically jump into my car and speed
away, going way over the speed limit. In the
cup holder my phone buzzes and despite the
risk, I grab it and read the message.

209/723

FROM: SETH. TIME: 7:08PM

Going to bed early tonight. Tired. Sorry.
I drop my phone and press down harder
on the accelerator. I shake my head, upset
that he neglected to mention hes hurt in his
vague text message. I know he doesnt want
to see me, but Im not turning around, not
when I know hes hurt.
***
I make it to Seths house in record time.
His car is thereand so are Darryls and
Jacksons. I park on a small angle along the
road and barely wait before I turn my car off
to get out. Unintentionally, I slam my door
and my heart beats harder. Anxiety claws at
my chest because I know he doesnt want to
see me right now and I can only imagine how
bad his pride hurts. My palms begin to sweat

210/723

and I rub them together, praying that what

Im about to walk into isnt going to be anything more than a busted lip.
I shake the thought from my mind. If it
were me, hed never leave my side. The
round door knob fits perfectly into the palm
of my hand and I turn the handle slowly before slipping into the hallway. Jackson is on
me in an instant. His hair is disheveled and I
swear I can feel the stress radiating off of
him in intense surges. Heads up, hes in a
really bad mood right now. Weve checked
him out. There are no broken bones or fractured ribs, but hes a little bruised.
I slip past Jackson with a nod, ignoring
both Selena and Darryl that sit on the couch,
staring at nothing. I look at Seth. He keeps
his gaze on the floor in front of him, not
looking at me once, although I know he
knows Im here. My heart swells in my chest
as I scan his body. I see tiny droplets on his
skin from a recent shower and even though

211/723

hes in painI still feel the familiar desire

flood my system. That desire quickly molds
to anger as my eyes rests on his bruised ribs.
Can you guys leave us alone for a
minute? I ask, never taking my eyes off
Seth.
He tilts his head up and his dark eyes flick
to my face. At this angle, I can see the cut
high on his cheek bone and the one on his lip
has been reopened.
When I hear the back sliding door close, I
step forward, never dropping eye contact
with him. Are you all right? I ask, first and
foremost.
His jaw clenches. I think we both know
Ive seen better days.
I ignore his attitude. I cant hold it against
him, Id feel the same if I was in his shoes.
Trying a different approach, I step closer and
take his hand in mine. I tug on it and he
pushes himself to his feet, gritting his teeth
against the pain of the bruising. I pull him

212/723

alongthrough the kitchen up the stairs and

into his room. I want privacy. I want to talk
to him and take care of himbecause he is
mine to take care of.
I close the door and wait until Seth has
lowered himself on the bed. I flick the light
off and kick off my shoes before sliding onto
the bed next to him. Out of instinct, I reach
out to him, running the open palm of my
hand up his damp, hard body. The fresh
scent of washed skin fills me and I slide
closer, desperately needing to comfort him.
As my hand passes over the side of his ribcage he flinches and I pull my hand back,
gritting my teeth against a new bout of anger. After a few seconds, I touch him again,
purposefully avoiding his tender ribs.
I run my hand over his chest and he grabs
my wrist, pulling it up to his mouth and kissing the tips of my fingers. I feel the uneven
swells on his lip and my chest almost
constricts.

213/723

You didnt fight back? I ask as he let my

hand go and I move back to sliding it over
his stomach.
Of course I fought back, he growls and it
sends vibrations up my arms and through
the rest of my body. It didnt matter. They
caught me off guard.
I scowl, trying to picture how it all went
down. I noticed Darryl looking a little beat
up when I walked in, as well. Don attacked
them both? Im so mad words cant even begin to describe it.
How could Don do such a thing?
Seth scoffs, Its been a long time coming,
O. Im surprised it didnt happen sooner.
These are the consequences of being an
asshole.
Asshole or not, you dont deserve to be
beaten. He has to pay for what he did. We
need to get him back, somehow.

214/723

Seth shifts on the bed, turning his body

toward me. He will pay for what he did, but
he will pay legally, not physically.
I hear the skeptical tone in his voice and I
know he wishes it was the other way around,
but theres no way Darryl or Jackson is going
to let Seth get revenge on Don.
Seths large arms surround me and he
pulls me into him, holding me slightly
against his body. I close my eyes briefly as
his thumb strokes my shoulder.
Why didnt you call me?
I feel his body tense and he lets out a slow
exhale. Because I didnt want you to see me
like thisthis isnt how a man should
lookall bloodied and bruised. He shakes
his head. I should have come out on top, if
not for me, then at least for you.
I dont think any less of you. In my eyes,
youre still amazingbeyond amazing. I love
you. You shouldve called me instead of lying
through text.

215/723

I didnt lie to you.

You didnt have to. Youre guilty by
omission.
His chest fills with air and he expels it
with a defeated sigh. Youre right. I should
have called you.
Satisfied, I pull away from him and he
rolls flat on his back. I rest my head on my
hand and I dont say another word as I let my
fingers trail his torso, feeling every line and
muscle. His skin is soft and smooth, and my
fingers glide over the surface easily, as if he
were coated in baby oil. It bothers Seth to
know he cant get back at Don, but I can. I
cant get back at him physically, of course.
Theres no way I can go toe to toe with Don,
even on a good day, but I dont have to lay a
finger on him to bring him to his knees.
Darryl knows we recently had cameras installed in and around our gym. I know hes
going to use them against Don legally, but I
want to be the one to tell him. I want to see

216/723

Dons heart crash and watch everything hes

worked so hard for become an unattainable
dream.
I dont know how long I waited for Seths
breathing to even, but it eventually does and
in the dim lighting seeping through the bathroom door, I can see Seths face. Its the perfect picture of calm. I drag the tips of my fingers from his chest down to his obliques. My
fingers slide over the impressions and
grooves and I feel his muscles contract
briefly before completely relaxing under my
touch. It sends a flustering heat through me
and I cant help myself. I run my finger along
the band of his shorts, tucking the tip of my
index finger under the fabric. A deep, sleepy
moan falls from Seths lips and it sends an
electrical current through meigniting my
skin from my head to my toes. The urge to
slip my hand in or to take him in my mouth
while he sleeps is strongso strong I dont
realize Im digging my fingers into his skin to

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stop myself from going further. Seth sighs,

shifting his body in my direction. Oh, crap. I
slip my hand away from him and roll out of
the way before he can pin me beneath his
large body. Believe me, theres nothing more
I want right now than to be pinned between
Seth and a comfortable mattress, but I have
revenge to dish out.
I know when Seth finds out what Im
about to do hes going to flip, but hopefully
he sees that I did it for him well, kind of.
Im also doing it for me. Nothing will make
me happier than knowing Don will never be
in the same circles as Seth and I. He needs to
be knocked down a peg or two and Ill happily be the person to do it.
I slip off the bed and tip-toe to my shoes,
putting them on one by one. I straighten myself and waste no time in opening the door
and running from the room. As soon as I
close his door behind me, adrenaline flares
through my system, pumping hard and fast

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and kicking my heartbeat up a notch. I dont

know much about Seths sleeping pattern so
I have to get out of here before he notices Im
gone. I speed walk through the house and
out into the backyard. Jackson, Darryl, and
Selena are chilling in the barbeque area, not
saying a word.
Wheres Don, Darryl? I demand, placing
my hands firmly on my hips.
Darryl frowns, confused. Then, his eyes
widen and he leaps from his chair. Are you
insane? he demands in a whisper. Youre
going to go see Don?
I shake my head. Im not going to see
him. Im going to destroy him.
He steps closer. You dont want to do
that, Olivia. Seth will flip the fuck out and
come looking for you.
Where is he? I ask, emphasizing my
words.
Youre out of your mind if you think Im
going to send you to Don on your own.

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Ill go with her, Jackson offers, pushing

himself off of a chair next to Selena.
Jackson, you saw what they did to Seth.
Youre not going, Selena protests.
Jackson ignores her, keeping his eyes on
Darryl. With a frustrated exhale, Selena pulls
a cigarette from her pocket and ignites it, inhaling deeply. Jacksons eyes shift, zeroing in
on her. Selenas green eyes settle on his face,
almost like shes challenging him. Without
hesitating, he yanks the cigarette from her
lips before crushing it beneath his sneaker.
Selena rolls her eyes, expelling the smoke before glancing at me. I guess she wasnt kidding when she said Jackson hates her
smoking.
Theres a warning in Jacksons eyes before
he turns them on Darryl. I know where he
is. Cmon, O.
Jackson grabs my arm and pulls me forward, but Darryl steps in front of us, blocking the door. If Seth wakes up and finds you

220/723

gone, hes going to come down here looking

for you. What do you expect me to tell him?
I shrug. Tell him the truth. I wont hide
anything from him.
Darryl laughs once, running his hands
over his face and pinching the bridge of his
nose. Tell him the truth? Are you insane? If
I tell him the truth, the only thing standing
between him and you and Don is me, and I
dont know if youve noticed or not, but Ive
already been treated like a fucking boxing
bag today.
Sighing, I step closer to Darryl. You can
go home. You dont have to have any part in
this.
He blinks at me.
Please, Darryl, move. I need to do this.
He exhales, shaking his head. Hell be at
his gym on Weir Road. He has a night time
training schedule on Tuesdays.

221/723

Before I can say thank you Ive already

pushed past him and headed out the door
with Jackson in tow.
***
I drive fast, occasionally noticing Jackson
wipe the palms of his hands over his jeans
from time to time.
Are you scared of Don? I ask, gripping
the steering wheel out of my own fear.
He snorts, like Ive said something ridiculous. Don couldnt provoke fear in me even
if he was a hundred feet tall and fifty feet
wide.
My brows furrow.
Seth, however, he shakes his head. is a
different situation entirely.
I chew my bottom lip. Ive seen Seth angry
before, but I havent seen him as angry as
this will undoubtedly make him. Strangely

222/723

though, I dont feel bad about it, and if I get

out of this okay, then no harm done.
I can take you backits not too late.
No. I want to see Dons smug face fall
when you tell him. Ill risk pissing off Seth
for that.
I clench the steering wheel again. You
really think hell flip out?
Oh yeah, he is going to go mental.
Nervously, I unhand the steering wheel
and slip my index finger into my mouth and
begin to chew at the nail.
Maybe I should crash at Selenas tonightafter this I cant imagine Im going to
be too welcome, he thinks aloud.
Eager to change the subject away from
Seth freaking out, I ask, Speaking of you
and Selena, whats the deal?
He counters instantly, Whats she told
you?
Nothing, thats the thingshe usually
tells me everything, but lately, nothing. Im

223/723

trying to decide if its because shes too

happy or too unhappy.
Jackson runs his fingers through his hair.
Maybe its because youre both grownups
now and dont need to share gossip like a
pair of giggling teenagers.
I glance sideways at him.
Sorry. He exhales. Ive told Selena
things about me that Id prefer she never repeatseven to you.
I wonder whats so bad about Jacksons
past that has him so damaged? Seth claimed
his own life was complicated, but besides a
dead father, drunken mother, and a sister
who ran away to Vegas with her wannabe
rock star boyfriend, his life isnt too bad.
There was a girl I prompt him, my
eyes flick to him. I see him tense.
No, there was a woman. Girl implies
there was some kind of vulnerability or innocence about her.

224/723

Theres a lot of emotion to his tone, not

love or longing, but hatedisgust. He swallows hard, as if trying to get rid of a bad
taste.
Was she
Look, youre cool and all, but I dont want
to discuss what I went through with that
whore. I havent even told Seth the whole
story and weve been friends forever. He
flexes his fingers. I promised myself Id
keep my hands to myself when I see Don tonight, but I cant if youre going to try and get
in my head. As for Selena, if she was unhappy, shed leave.
If she was unhappy, shed leave. Thats
true. Ive known Selena long enough to know
she doesnt do anything she doesnt want to.
Third building on your right, Jackson
mumbles, causing my heart to shoot into my
throat.
Suddenly, this feels like a bad idea.
Images of Seth filter into my mind with his

225/723

discolored ribs and busted lipits enough to

clear my head and allow me to group my
thoughts.
Don hurt Seth.
Don is going to continue to hurt Seth until
he takes everything from him.
I slam my foot on the brakes and the car
jolts to a stop, sending Jackson and I shooting forward before our seatbelts catch us.
What the fuck? Jackson grunts.
Without hesitating, I unclip my seatbelt
and fumble to get my keys out of the ignition.
Anger courses through me as I think about
Don and how hes using me as a pawn in his
game to get revenge on Seth. I keep moving
erratically, knowing if I slow down now, my
anger will fade. I need to act while it is still
white hot.
Lets go, I grumble at Jackson as I shoot
myself out of the car.
Without closing my door, I storm across
the small parking lot and towards the

226/723

modern gym in front of me. Jackson falls into step beside me.
No fighting, I clarify.
He agrees, No fighting.
I slam my hands into the glass doors,
pushing them open to let me through. I ignore the stares from late night gym goers
and enter the main room. I eagerly scan the
room for a tall, bald dickbag. When I spot
him standing by the boxing, ring chatting
and laughing with a massive guy who has a
fresh swollen eye, I lose it. Inside, a pressure
begins to build in my stomach before spilling
over and filling my chest. I want to scream
and cry. I want to kick him until he cant
movebut I cant do any of that. Thats what
he wantsand I will never give him the satisfaction of getting what he wants.
Instead of raging and mauling him to
death with my claws, I plaster a wide smile
on my face and stroll casually toward them.
The hulk-like man slaps Don on the shoulder

227/723

and nods in my direction. When Dons slimy

gaze falls onto me, my skin crawls like a
bucket of baby spiders have been poured
over every single inch of my body.
Olivia, he purrs, leaving a bad taste in
the back of my throat. What a nice
surprise.
He smirks, turning his attention to Jackson. I see you only brought one of your
dogs. The others werent feeling up for the
trip?
I step forward, desperately wanting to slap
him or spit on him, but Jacksons finger
hooks around the thin strap of my dress and
pulls me backwards. I let out a slow, steady
breath. Something like that, I reply bluntly.
Tell me, whats the next event youve got
coming up?
He shrugs. I have a fight scheduled.
I smile. Its not in Vegas, though, is it?

228/723

An electrical current flows through me as

Dons smirk fades and just like that Im addicted to hurting him.
Dont worry your pretty little head about
me. Ill get to Vegas one day and Ill go
through your boy to get there.
I stick my hands into my dress pockets.
See, thats where youre wrong. Seth will
make sure you never fight again.
Don chuckles and looks over his shoulder
at his friend, who also happens to find what I
said hilarious.
I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but
the only way Seth is going to stop me from
fighting is if he breaks both my legs.
I shrug. Or if he has proof you hurt him
and his coach and turns it in to the MMAC.
Don folds his arms over his chest in an attempt to come off as intimidating. I analyze
his face, watching familiar emotions flicker
over it. Disbelief shows first, followed by

229/723

fear, then frustration before his lips finally

curl upwards in a smug grin.
Nice try, but you cant scare me.
Jackson lets my dress go and I take it as
an indication to go in for the kill. I step forward. Im not trying to scare you, Don.
Everything you and your friends did was
caught on camera.
His smug smile falters, straightening into
an impassive line. Youre fucking lying, he
growls.
I shake my head, smiling ever-so slightly.
Afraid not.
Don watches me closely for a few seconds
and when he realizes Im not fucking around,
his eyes become glossy with various emotions. I can tell his brain is confused, unsure
which feeling it wants the rest of the body to
feel first. I know I shouldnt be enjoying this
as much as I am, but I cant help it and the
exciting, addicting feeling of seeing Don
weak spurs me on.

230/723

Look for a new career, because this one is

closed to you.
Its like flipping on a switchone second
hes dark and brooding and the next hes
bright and alive, punching the massive guy
behind him and dropping him to his knees.
The force behind the hit jolts me back to my
senses. Holy. Shit.
He turns his dark eyes on me. If he uses
those tapes I swear to God Ill kill him.
I swallow hard, taking a few small steps
backwards and it isnt until Jacksons hand
plants firmly on my back that I stop. Youve
made your bed. Lie in it.
Dons arms shoot out and he grabs my
forearms, squeezing me with unnecessary
force. I gasp and grit my teeth against
squeezing my eyes shut. I wont appear weak
in front of him.
Let her go, asshole, Jackson demands,
keeping his hand on my back for
reassurance.

231/723

Don ignores him, his dark, green stare remaining solely on my face. Im warning
you, he almost whispers. Dont fuck with
me! The rest of his sentence comes out in a
mighty roar and its so loud my head spins
with a mild case of shell shock. He shoves me
backwards and I dont stumble as Jacksons
hand stabilizes me. Jackson launches himself
forward, stepping in front of me. I can feel
panic rising in my chest at the thought of
Don and Jackson getting into a fight right
now. I grab Jacksons arm and tug him
backwards.
No fighting, I shout and he glances over
his shoulder at me, clearly frustrated that I
still want this meeting fist free. No longer interested in us, Don tears around the gym,
punching and throwing things like we dont
exist.
Lets go, Jackson demands, grabbing my
elbow and pulling me towards the exit.
People stare at us like were criminals while

232/723

others cower like were going to kill them

and when we pass a mother and her young
boy no older than twelve. I stop. The mother
grabs her son and pulls him into her.
If you use it Don shouts but we dont
look over our shoulder. If you fucking use
itlook out!
Sorry, I mutter before Jackson nudges
me out of the gym.
I inhale the cool air, filling my lungs to
maximum point and my hands begin to
shake. I flex and shake them a few times in
an attempt to get them to stop, but it doesnt
work. I pull my car keys out of my pocket
and hand them to Jackson, whos as calm as
the eye of a storm. Can you drive?
He nods, takes the keys, and heads for the
car.
I follow him and climb into the passenger
seat. He drives me back to Seths house,
neither of us saying a word about what
happened tonight. I use the tips of my

233/723

fingers to massage my temples, hoping to

gain some composure. My heart is racing,
not because of what I did, but because I
know Seth will be up and waiting for me
when I get home. I dont know what hes going to do, or what hes going to say, but I do
know what I did tonight satisfied me and I
wont apologize for it.

Chapter Seven
Seth
With a groan, I roll off my stomach and
aching ribs and onto my back. Sleeping is
definitely going to suck for the next few days.
I run my hands over the mattress in search
of Olivias warmth.
Nothing.
Slowly, I open my eyes and stretch further, feeling only the cool bed.

235/723

Olivia? I grumble, my voice husky with

sleep.
Nothing.
What the hell? I push myself up into a sitting position ignoring the pain in my chest
and the throbbing headache behind my eyes.
I slide off the bed and waver uneasily on my
feet before I slowly make my way out of the
room. Downstairs, the lights are on and I can
hear voices speak in low, cautious tones. I
stroll through the kitchen and into the
lounge room, frowning as my gaze settles on
Selena and Darryl. Selenas eyes widen and
she quickly averts her gaze before adjusting
her dress and shifting uncomfortably on the
couch. I look at Darryl and he analyzes my
bruises at first, before his eyes flit to mine.
Wheres Olivia? I ask and I swear I see
Selena flinch out of the corner of my eye.
Shes out, Darryl replies.
Selena rises to her feet, drawing my gaze
as she steps around the couch before trotting

236/723

into the backyard. Alarm bells begin to ring

as she closes the door behind her.
I lean against the wall. Whered she go?
Her and Jackson he clears his throat
and rubs the back of his neck,went to see
Don.
I push off the wall as powerful anger rages
through me, making my throat curl tightly
around my words. Surely I heard that
wrong. What did you say?
She went to see Don
My jaw clamps down and I grit my teeth
together. I let out a slow exhale, trying not to
completely flip the fuck out. And you let her
go?
I didnt have a choice. It was me against
Olivia and Jackson.
And you let him take her? Im shouting
now, unable to keep my cool. Are you fucking kidding me? How long have they been
gone?

237/723

I pivot on my heel and storm into the kitchen, searching for my keys. I have to go and
get her. Darryl strolls in behind me. Dont
waste your time looking for your keys. Jackson took them so you couldnt follow them.
What the fuck! Needing to take my anger out on something, I grab the fruit bowl
off the bench and throw it across the kitchen.
A familiar tightness overcomes my chest and
my breathing deepens. I can feel panic rising
inside me, but I cant calm down. Not until I
see Olivia. Oliviawhy the hell would she go
and find Don? Is she out of her mind?
Seth, calm down.
I laugh once. Calm down? You want me
to calm down? Look at me. Im fucking
bruised and beaten because of that asshole
and I wake up to find my girlfriend has gone
to pay him a visit. Sure, Ill calm down when
shes here and safe with me. You want to
hope for your sake there isnt a fucking
scratch on her.

238/723

You know what? I dont need this shit.

Im sore too, and I have a family that I need
to spend time with before I have to get up
early to train your ungrateful ass again.
Darryl turns and storms from the room. A
few seconds later, I hear the front door slam
shut. A growl tears from my chest and I grip
the edge of the bench, squeezing as hard as I
can. I cant just sit around and wait, I need to
do somethinganything. Freeing the bench
from my grip, I turn from the kitchen and
march up the stairs. I flick my bedroom light
on and head straight for the boxing bag
hanging in the middle of my room. A nauseating pain cramps my stomach and I want
to be sicktossing the hanging gloves to the
floor, I swing my fists into the bag, clenching
my jaw against the pain every time I connect.
If I dont punch or fuck until Im exhausted,
theres no getting rid of the anxiety. It
lingers, gnawing at me until I completely lose
my mind and Im worried if I dont calm

239/723

myself enough before Olivia makes it back (if

she makes it back) Im going to both say and
do something stupid.
When my arms refuse to connect with as
much force as I intend, I stop punching.
Forty minutes I stood here punching this bag
and still no Olivia. I squeeze my eyes shut
and roll my head from side to side. Ill have a
shower and if shes not back by then, Ill
walkfuck itIll run to her.
After Ive washed my body, I lean my head
against the tiles, hoping any second now
shell come through that door. When I hear
the bathroom door click shut, relief washes
over me. The relief fades just as quickly as it
came when I remember why Im feeling so
shitty in the first place. Olivia left me while I
was sleeping to go see my enemy
I shut the shower off and stand for a little
while longer, letting the excess water run off
of me. When Im done, I step out and she immediately hands me a towel. Without looking

240/723

at her, I grab the towel and run it over my

face. I have no idea what Im going to say yet
and Im buying time, trying to talk myself out
of saying something stupid. I drop the towel
and wrap it low on my hips, and finally, I
look at her and she almost flinches. She fingers the small black buttons that run up the
front of her dress.
Don hurt youand Darryl. I had to do
something, she says without any prompting
from me.
So you thought youd go and handle it
without me?
She nods. Yes.
I grit my teeth and they ache slightly. Im
doing that way too much tonight. Do you
know how worried Ive been?
I thought you were sleeping. She lowers
her voice. Im capable of handling myself.
I almost laugh and she scowls at me, no
longer intimidated. She thinks shes capable
of handling herself against a fighter who

241/723

would love nothing more than to get back at

me? Yeah fucking right.
What are you, one hundred and thirty
pounds? I could lift your entire body weight
on my fucking big toe, yet here you are walking around like you cant be touched.
Her thin, well-shaped eyebrows pull together. Don hurt you.
Yes! I snap. He hurt me. Let me deal
with it.
She steps toward me and digs her skinny
index finger into my chest. You cant control
me, Seth.
I cant control you? You think this is
about controlling you?
Isnt it?
I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying for
the one millionth time to control myself...
and I fail. This is about you! I yell and she
takes a defensive step back, swallowing hard.
Ever since I met you, you do stupid things

242/723

that put you in danger! You have no consideration for anybodyyoure selfish!
Im selfish? she scoffs. I am far from
selfish!
She turns from me and attempts to leave
the bathroom, but I grab her by the elbow
and pull her back, slamming the door shut.
Im not finished, I warn, holding her
tightly against me.
Well, I am.
She tries to pull her small frame away
from me and gets nowhere. Theres no way
Im letting her go. Not yet. I drop my hand
and grip her hips, lifting her and placing her
on the counter. I slip between her legs and
anchor her hips so she cant get away.
Her eyes flare with anger and it stirs
something wicked inside me. Im warning
you, let me go.
I almost smile. What are you going to do,
Olivia? She claims she can handle herself
and I want her to show me. She struggles

243/723

against me and nothing happens. You cant

do anything to help yourself and thats why
you need me. We are together. Were meant
to make decisions together. Isnt that what a
relationship is? I mean, shit, you were the
one in a relationship, so tell me why Im the
one giving you the advice?
Seth, let me go.
I squeeze her harder. No.
She shuffles her hips forward abruptly,
trying to slip off the counter. I grip her legs
and yank her hips forward, forcing her thighs
to wrap tightly around me. She gasps and
presses a hand against my wet chest, arching
her back in an attempt to lean away from me.
Im not letting you go until you tell me
Im right. You know I am.
She straightens her spine, bringing her
delicious body closer to mine and getting
right in my face. No.
So fucking stubborn.

244/723

Her warm breath caresses my face and I

look at her perfect lips. I lurch forward,
slamming my mouth to hers. Her hands immediately slide around my neck, pressing me
harder against her. I reach under her dress
and roughly pull her panties to the side. She
gasps against my mouth, dragging my bottom lip between her lips. I can see it in her
face, shes pissed off, but she cant possibly
be as pissed off as I am.
I grasp the fabric of her dress and pull it
open, sending buttons scattering along with
my thoughts and exposing her body to me.
What the fucI lace my fingers in her
hair and force her mouth back to mine. Her
ankles lock around me, pulling me closerso
close I can feel the heat radiate from her.
Tell me Im right, I demand against her
mouth.
She bites down on my swollen lip, not giving a shit that its sore. No.

245/723

Her quick, shallow breaths hit my skin as

she lowers her mouth to my neck and licks
my clean flesh. I feel her hands grip my towel
and a second later it falls to the floor. Cool
air clings to my skin, spurring me closer to
her. Her lips suck and nip at my neck while
her fingers wrap around my extremely hard
length. She guides it toward her openingright where she wants me. I feel her
wetness on the tip of my cock and I cant
help myself. I groan, thrusting deep and
hard. Olivia cries out, sending white hot
arousal through my body, forcing me to go
hard and fast .I look at her face. Her eyes are
closed and her mouth is agape as she pants
heavily. I grab her low on the hips, forcing
her to move against me.
Ill fuck you until you tell me Im right, I
rasp, dropping my mouth to her collar bone.
I run my hands up her back before I entwine them in the base of her hair. I pull
hard, tilting her head backwards and she

246/723

moans loudly, my name sharp on her lips.

Who wouldve thought my sweet Olivia likes
it rough? I drag my lips over her collar bone
and up her neck. Every time I move inside
her, I get closer and closer to release. I can
feel her tightening around me and its making it harder to hold on. I yank her bra down,
letting her tits spill over the cups and I take
one in my mouth. She presses her chest
deeper into my mouth all while digging her
nails into my flesh.
I pull away. You fucking like that, dont
you?
She rakes her teeth over her bottom lip,
shaking her head. No, Im just humoring
you.
I smile a little before pulling out and
thrusting all of the way back in. She inhales
sharply and grips me tighter. I pull her off
the counter, grabbing her backside in large
handfuls and whirl around on my heel, bracing her hard against the bathroom wall.

247/723

Gravity forces her to settle fully onto my

length and I clench my jaw as my body hums
with intense sexual energy. Olivia leans back,
showing off her perfect breasts that bounce
every time my hips collide with hers. My
fantasies of Olivia never do her justice. Her
soft, pliable body is perfection from the
strands of chocolate hair on her head to the
hot fuck noises she makes as I thrust into
her. I pull back from her and slip out. She
groans, her eyes closing briefly and I bite the
inside of my lip against a smirk. Shes frustrated, although shell never admit it. With a
trembling breath, I propel myself back into
her.
Seth! Her cry echoes around the bathroom, bouncing off the tiles and hitting me
right in the sweet spot.
I moan, dropping my mouth to her neck
as her hand reaches out and she turns the
door handle.
Bed. Now, she demands in a husky pant.

248/723

I crush her against me, pulling her away

from the wall and out into the bedroom. She
rakes her fingers through my hair, harshly
tugging on it and forcing my mouth to hers.
Fuck the bed. I want her on the couch. My
legs move quickly and I drop her onto the
white fabric. Her eyes snap to mine and I
know shes going to protest. Before she gets
the chance, I grab her waist and flip her
around. She rests over the back of the couch
and glances at me over her shoulder with an
uncertain lookthe sight alone is enough to
make me come. I kneel on the edge of the
couch, lining myself exactly where I want to
be. I grab her hip with one hand and her ass
with the other, squeezing with enough pressure to let her know Im not going to be
gentle. She started this. If she wants rough,
shes going to get rough. Im going to fuck
her hard until she comes and is begging for
me to forgive her. Shes a tiny woman but it
isnt like shes made from glass. I enter her

249/723

with a harsh thrust and she cries out at once.

I watch her reactions every time the tip of me
reaches maximum point, enjoying the way
she claws at the couch as her body lurches
from the impact. Her fingers dig into the fabric in an effort to keep herself steady. There
are no pauses as I rear back and rock forward again, sheathing myself all the way to
the hilt.
More, she mewls, grinding backwards
on me. Harder.
With a growl, I pump her faster and
harder. Every time, I pull back, she slams
herself back onto me and I feel her muscles
grip me tighter. The firmer she gets, the
closer I come to, well, coming. I grit my teeth
and slip my hand off her hip and around her
stomach before gliding the tips of my fingers
between her legs and into the creases of her
sweet pussy.
Oh, God, she moans, her body speeding
up in its movements.

250/723

I feel her legs begin to tremble and I know

shes close. As I circle her, I pound her
harder and harder until she cant breathe,
until shes trying to crawl away from me. One
more thrust has her clenching me tightly and
melting down with me deep inside her. The
sound of her being taken away into bliss with
my name a husky rasp on her lips is enough
to send me over the edge and I sink over her,
pressing my body against her back and unconsciously sinking my teeth into her
shoulder as a powerful release surges from
me.
We rest in a piled heap on the couch until
one of us has enough energy to move. When
my arousal wears off, the ache in my body
comes back full force. Shit. I shouldve taken
it a little easier. Without a word, Olivia slips
out from underneath me and storms to the
bathroom, shutting the door with a small
slam behind her. I guess shes still pissed off
that I called her selfish. I get it, it was a little

251/723

harsh and I dont believe shes selfish, not

like I am, anyway. Shes done lots of selfless
things for me, neglecting her job, for one.
But when I called her selfish, I meant in
terms of her decisions. She doesnt think
about how her decisions affect anyone
elsegetting involved with me affected
Mason and her mom. Going to dinner with
Brent affected meseeing Don affected me.
She doesnt think and thats the one thing
that bugs me above all else. I have every
right to be mad, not her.
I push myself off the couch and stroll over
to my wardrobe, not wanting to shower for
the third time tonight. I grab a pair of sweat
pants and slide them on before strolling to
bed and climbing in. I lie flat on my back,
choosing the least painful position for the
best chance at getting some sleep. A few
minutes later, Olivia emerges from the bathroom, her hair damp and sticking to her
clean skin. Helping herself, she pulls a tank

252/723

top from my wardrobe and a pair of black

sweatpants, matching mine. Her eyes flick
over to me as she pulls the white top over her
head and covers her bare breasts. My gaze
falls onto her shoulder, where Id bitten her.
Its a little red; I didnt cut the skin, but it
might bruise.
Did I hurt you? I ask, trying to keep the
detached tone in my voice.
No.
Her response is clipped and blunt and I
cant help a small smile. She cant stay mad
at me forever and Ive already forgiven her.
Hell, my heart forgave her the moment she
stepped into the bathroom, but my dick refused to. It wanted to punish her, to make
her screamit got what it wanted and now I
know I have to apologize for calling her
selfish, but my damn pride wont let me. I
cant. If I apologize, it means I wont do it
again and that I cant guarantee. I cant guarantee Im not going to say it again or say

253/723

something even worse next time because

thats what I do. According to Dad, I take
every good thing I get and destroy it. I dont
deserve good. I deserve nothing because I
dont appreciate anything. Some inspiring,
fatherly words right there.
Olivia stalks toward the door with a frustrated sway in her hips. She flicks off the
light, plunging the room into total darkness.
I wait a few seconds before I feel the mattress sink slightly. I know shes got her back
to me and instinctively, I reach out for her.
Before I touch her, I quickly pull my hand
back. All I want from her is a sorry I left
without saying anything. Is that so hard?
I wait for a very long timejust waiting
for her to sigh and apologize.
Nothing.
And it isnt until she mutters for someone
to clean their machine and shifts in my direction that I realize Im not going to get one,
at least, not while shes sleeping, anyway.

254/723

Allowing myself one last feel of her skin

before I drift off, I slip my hand underneath
her shirt and run the palm of my hand down
the side of her waist and over the rise of her
hip. A soft sigh of relief escapes her and her
body relaxes even more as she falls deeper
into sleep. I pull my hand back and sling it
over my head, covering my eyes.
Why are we both so fucking stubborn?

Chapter Eight
Olivia
(T-minus four days until Las Vegas)
I stretch, spreading my legs and arching
my back before I open my eyes. As they flutter open, I take in my surroundings and the
sleeping giant next to me. He has an arm
slung over his face and I can just see the cut
on his lower lip. Dread rolls through me as I
recall last night. It wasnt a dream.

256/723

Awesome.
I watch Seth for a little while longer, trying to find the right way to apologize. I know
Im the one in the wrong. I know I shouldve
told him my plans and I definitely shouldnt
have ignored him until I fell asleep last night,
but what he said hurt me. Im not selfishI
cant be, not to him. Ive given up so much
for him. I chose him over my job. I chose
working at the gym over my writing. I
havent opened a Word document since we
got together. I dont have time. Between
Mom, Seth, and the gym, I cant do the
things I want to do, but Im happy with that.
Is that selfish? Is being there for him selfish?
I grit my teeth.
No.
Seth shifts, moving his arm and rolling
onto his side. His face contorts in pain before
straightening itself out. My muscles relax
from a cramp I didnt know I had. The
thought of Seth waking up and being as

257/723

angry as he was last night terrifies me. The

dark, murderous look in his eyes when he
stepped out of the shower last night is
something I never want to see again. The sex
was really good though, I cant complain
about that. I didnt anticipate it happening,
but he was so angry and intense and I
wanted him to take it out on me, to punish
me for leaving him. I reach out and run the
tip of my finger over the back of his
handthe same hand that had gripped me so
tightly last night as he fucked me hard and
fast, sending endless amounts of electrical
currents pulsing through me. I pull my hand
back and squeeze my thighs together and
wince at the tenderness. Im a little sore, last
night waspassionate, to say the least.
I sigh. Seth is used to getting his way and I
know he expects me to cave in and apologize
firstbut I need him to know I wont take
him talking to me like that. I am his equal,

258/723

not a childeven though my actions say

otherwise.
I leave the bed and cringe at the ache in
the muscles between my legs. Today is not
going to be comfortable, thats for sure. I tiptoe from the room and down the stairs. Surprisingly, Selena is here eating breakfast at
the counter. When we got home last night,
Selena and Jackson left to stay at her
houseHad they come back? Had they heard
Seth and I last night?
Morning. Selena smiles tightly, licking
her spoon. Howd it go?
I run my hands over my face and lean on
the breakfast bar. We argued. And had epic
sex. We havent really spoken since then
Yeah, Jackson demanded we come back
this morning so he can talk to Seth. She
flicks her head toward the backyard. Hes
been sitting out there for over an hour now.

259/723

I look out the glass door and see Jackson

sitting there on the chair, his face tired and
worried.
He didnt sleep last night, she adds.
Poor guyIts my fault.
I hear heavy footsteps coming down the
stairs and my entire body goes rigid. Seth is
either going to ignore us, which I can handle,
or hes going to lose his mind and kick the
shit out of Jackson.
I dont turn around to look at him as he
steps into the kitchen and Selena drops her
gaze to her bowl.
Good morning, Selena, he says coolly
and I hear the fridge door open.
Uh, she mutters, confused. Good
Morning.
I frown, looking over my shoulder and
watch as he pulls a small bottle of milk from
the fridge. He opens it and takes a long sip.
When he puts it back, his eyes flick to me.

260/723

I see waking up without you is becoming

a routine.
My eyes narrow in on him and Selena
shifts uncomfortably in her seat. He waits for
a response, watching me unapologetically.
Hes not in the least bit uncomfortable about
arguing in front of other people. Realizing I
have no response for him, he strolls past me,
running a hand over his chest and through
his already disheveled hair as he steps outside and closes the door behind him.
Well, that was awkward, Selena mutters
and bites her bottom lip as I glare at her.
We watch as Jackson rises from his chair.
His lips move fast as he explains last night to
Seth. With every word, Seths features
darken and his hand shoots out, gripping
Jackson by the collar and pulling him into
him. Selena and I gasp, frightened a fight is
about to break out. How the hell are we
meant to stop that? Jackson remains cool
and
neutralnot
scared,
not

261/723

worriednothing. Its like hes been through

this a million times. Seth drops Jackson and
storms back into the house. Selena looks
away again, pretending she wasnt watching
the interaction between the two boys. I dont
look away. As Seths dark gaze settles on me,
I stare right backsadly, getting a little
heated by the intensity in his face. He
marches past, keeping eye contact until he
passes me and heads back up the stairs.
When hes gone, I pull a sour face.
Wow, there really is a wedge between you
two right now.
I sigh. You have no idea.
Why dont you talk to him?
Because itll end up in an argument. He
wants me to apologize
She quirks an eyebrow. So do it. Its your
fault.
Offended, I blow a gust of air out of my
cheeks. Geez, tell it like it is much? Im not

262/723

going to apologize first. He called me

selfish.
Granted, when I say it aloud it sounds
childish and stupid, and the look on Selenas
face tells me Im not far from the truth.
I cant apologize first. Not to Seth. She
doesnt understand what hes like. He thrives
off powerhe loves getting exactly what he
wants. Thats why he smiled at me last night
before I switched the lights out. He expects it
from me, but he wont get it until were on
equal grounduntil he engages me in a loving conversation.
She gives me another one of those youre
a moron looks and I turn away from her.
Do you have any clothes here? I need to
borrow some, I call over my shoulder.
Yeah, in a bag on Jacksons floor, she
replies when Im halfway up the stairs. Apologize, O. Its your fault.
I roll my eyes and finish climbing the
stairs. I sneak into Jacksons room and find

263/723

Selenas bright purple suitcase open on the

floor. Thankfully, Selena has been wearing
jeans and shorts more often since being with
Jackson, so when I fish through her clothes,
I easily find a pair of jeans and a light cotton
shirt to wear to work. I take the clothes to
Seths room and fortunately for me, hes in
the shower. I get changed, managing to only
just pull the shirt over my head as he enters
the bedroom. I fight hard against the urge to
let my eyes roam his body. I want to. I want
to push him onto the couch and lick him
everywhere, tasting his clean skin on my
tongue as he entwines his fingers in my hair,
pulling until my scalp burns.
Olivia? His rough voice snaps me back
to attention and I realize Im staring.
Goddamn it!
What? My voice comes out a lot more
frustrated than I expected it to and I feel like
an idiot.

264/723

Are you ready? I take in his fully clothed

body, embarrassed that I completely zoned
out thinking about all of the things Id do to
him.
Yep, lets go. I whirl on my heel and
stroll from the room.
In the car, neither of us speaks. Its stupid,
really. We arent mad anymore, but weve
started a war we want the other to finish.
Seth knows Im competitive, like I know hes
competitive, and I can only see this game
ending badly, but I cant swallow my pride.
Not yet.
***
I flinch away from the training room window as Seth slams his fist too hard into his
partners ribs. I see his flesh ripple and his
ribs bend, reacting to Seths force. The guy
drops to his knees and Darryl bangs on the

265/723

cage, throwing his clipboard across the

room. Gritting my teeth, I push open the
training room door. Seth knows to keep the
windows blacked while hes sparring, I dont
want to see itnot unless I have to.
Youre injured! Darryl shouts. If you
keep going full strength, its going to take
longer to heal, do you understand?
On the sideline, Jackson shakes his head
at me, warning me off, but Im not going
anywhere.
Will you take it easy? I demand, approaching the ring and crossing my arms.
Seth turns his sweat-coated body in my
direction, instantly making my breathing
quicken. His chest moves quickly and his
eyes are dark, like fresh coal.
I cant keep hiring spar partners because
you break your old ones. Theyre humans,
not toys!
He watches me for a little while, his intense eyes never relenting, before he turns

266/723

away. When his partner catches his breath

and rises to his feet, they square off again. To
further my point, I stay rooted in my spot
and watch them circle each other. The guy
launches forward and Seth sidesteps him,
driving his fists twice into his partners side
and the other straight into his face. My insides clench, sending waves of fear curling
through me.
Like a tree cut from the base, he sways
minutely before crashing to the ground with
a loud thud. Seth casually turns to face me
and I swallow down the sickness I feel in the
pit of my stomach as he approaches the edge
of the cage. He crouches, getting as close to
eye level as he can.
When youre ready, Im going to need a
new one, and if its not too much to ask, get
me one that can actually take a punch.
And just like that Im transported back to
the first time I met Seth. What a spoiled,

267/723

aggressive asshole! I completely forgot what

a major dick he can be.
Do it yourself.
I storm from the training room, slapping
the button to blacken the windows before I
exit. I dont look over my shoulder, even
when I hear him snap my name. Perhaps our
game has gone too far. Were pushing each
other now, deepening a disagreement that
could have been resolved before we got up
this morning, and unless this ends today,
who knows what its going to do to us in the
long run.
***
I leave the gym in a huff. The good thing
about being your own boss is you can leave
whenever you want. Although I dont think
Seth will appreciate it too muchor maybe
hell be relieved I left.

268/723

I pull into Moms driveway and turn my

car off. I linger for a moment, thinking about
Seth and how hes acting. To be annoyed
with me because I went behind his back and
refuse to apologize is one thingits almost
harmlessbut to physically hurt someone
else to get back at me is not okay and now I
have a whole new reason to be mad.
I exit my car and enter through the small,
white picket gate. Beneath my feet, pebbles
crunch and grind together. I like the sound.
It reminds me of homeof Dad. I pull my
key from the back pocket and unlock the
door. Even though Mom is home, Id hate to
wake her if shes napping. As the front door
opens and I step inside, she shifts on the
couch, drawing a tissue to her face. I quickly
shut the door behind me and step toward
her.
Sorry, she sniffles. I wasnt expecting
you to be home this early.

269/723

I drop into the couch beside her, pulling

her into me. She rests against me, patting
her red face with a tissue. I often see her
cryand it never gets any easier. I purposefully avoid the home video playing on the TV
and I hear Chase and I sing in the
background.
Happy birthday dear Daddy, happy birthday to youuuu!
His young laugh fills my ears and my eyes
begin to well. I never thought Id hear it
again, and its a marvelous sound, but its
still too soon for me. Im not ready to hear
him, not when Ive only just been able to
stomach looking at photos of him. I swallow
and my chest hiccups as I press my tongue to
the roof of my mouth.
Sorry, Mom apologizes, shutting off the
TV. I thought Id be okay seeing him by
now.
Dad died, its never going to be
okayand thats okay.

270/723

She wraps one arm around me and it feels

bony. Mom has lost a lot of weight since
Dads funeral. Shes never been a big girl, but
she sure as hell hasnt been as tiny as she is
now. I hold her for a little while longer. I
think I almost fall asleep and before I fully
drift off, Im jolted awake as Mom shifts
away from me.
Are you hungry? I have chicken wraps in
the fridge.
Stifling a yawn, I shake my head. I didnt
get a lot of sleep last night so Im probably
going to take a quick nap.
Her eyes widen. Seth, thats right. Im so
sorry, darling. I completely forgot. How is
he? Is he okay?
I lick my bottom lip against a smile. For
someone who seems to be so indifferent
about him, she sure is worried.
Hes finemore than fine. Hes still his
usual asshole-ish self.
What happened?

271/723

I dont want to go into details with Mom

so I give her the simplest, quickest version I
can. Seth has a long history with another
fighter and last night it came back to bite
him in the ass. I roll my eyes unintentionally and Mom frowns.
Youre not happy?
Im happy Seth is okayafter I saw him
last night and he fell asleep, I went to see the
other guy.
The one that hurt Seth?
I nod. I told him that we had the whole
thing on camera, he lost his mind, and when
I got back to Seths, he was mad and we
fought and then went to sleep. When we
woke up, we were still mad at each other and
we have been all morning.
She pinches her earlobe and the pretty
pearl earring between her thumb and index
finger. You didnt apologize?
Apologize? Mom, he called me selfish.

272/723

You left him while he was asleep to go

and see the guy that hurt himits not exactly selfless. Whyd you do it?
I shifted in my seat. Because My voice
sounds whiny and juvenile, and I hate it.
Don is an ass and I wanted to hurt him like
he hurt Seth.
You didnt think that maybe Seth
wouldve liked to be the one to bring
Daniels
Dons, I correct her.
RightIm sure Seth wouldve liked to be
the one to bring Dons world downbeing as
arrogant and self-important as he is. Mom
bites back a smile. I hate to say it, honey,
but youre the one who owes the apology
here.
Mom on team Seth, who would have
thought? I sink lower on the couch, instantly
feeling like an idiot. How do you know when
youre right and theyre not?

273/723

She chuckles, slapping my arm. Oh,

darling. Lesson one on men, they always
think theyre rightespecially the fighter
types. You want to come out on top? Dont
sweat the small stuff. Let them think theyre
right. Like your father, Seth is going to say
stupid, hurtful things to you at one time or
another, nobody is perfect. Even the good
ones have their moments, but at the end of
the day, if they can make you feel loved beyond anything else, if they show you just how
much you mean to them, then the other
things are just bumps in an otherwise
smooth pavement.
I nod my head. I never thought Mom
could ever give me advice Id agree with.
Shes grown so much since Dads death. I
dont even know how to explain it. We have
conversations without arguingactual full
length conversations. I cant remember the
last time weve been so close.

274/723

Ill go see Seth at lunch time and apologize

for taking the satisfaction of seeing Don
crumble. I cant give it back to him, but
hopefully the apology is enough. Mom leaves
the couch and enters the kitchen, allowing
me to lie down and stretch out. My eyes become heavy and I yawn countless times before finally falling asleep.
***
Three strong knocks rap on the door and
my eyes shoot open. Its almost dark, the living room is two shades from being pitch
black. I push myself off the couch and climb
sleepily to my feet. My stomach growls and
churns because I havent eaten today. Instead of making me hungry, it puts me off
the mere thought of food.
Theres another knock against the wood
and I shuffle slowly towards it. I flick the
light switch on and pull the door open. On

275/723

the other side of the screen stands Seth in a

white shirt that clings tightly to his chest and
arms. My heart rate instantly skyrockets. Not
out of fear or intimidation, but out of pure
unwholesome desiresoh, and the thought
of having to apologize to him. Hes going to
make it as painful as possible.
Youre happy to see me, dont deny it.
He lowers his gaze to my breasts. Or at least
your nipples are.
Ignoring my less than impressed expression, he opens the screen and holds it, all
while looking at me like Im the most amusing thing on the planet.
Youve been asleep this whole time?
I shrug. I didnt get a lot of sleep last
night. But of course he knows that.
Seths amused expression fades, turning
serious. I wont have us fighting for a
second longer, Olivia. His voice is commanding, like hes ordering me to stop being

276/723

mad at him. All you have to do is tell me

Im
Youre right, I interrupt him. I
shouldnt have gone to Don, or at the very
least, I should have told you. I step forward.
And you shouldnt have hurt that guy to get
back at me. That was cruel. Promise me you
wont do that again.
He shakes his head. I cant promise you
that.
Seth
He leans forward an inch. Im not going
to promise you something I cant keep. I can
promise you Ill always be here for you or
that Ill never be unfaithful to you, but I cant
promise I wont hurt you in other ways. Its
what I do, its who I am. I have strange outlets and its how I deal with things.
I hug myself as the cool air brushes along
my skin. But those people do nothing to
you.

277/723

They signed a contract agreeing to be my

punching bag wherever and however I
please. If they dont like it, they can always
leave.
The fact hes being so careless is beyond
me and quite frankly, it pricks at my frustration levels.
You know who I am. Ive been nothing
but honest with you from the start. I wont
change, not now. Not ever.
I dont want you to change.
Then what do you want? What can I
sayor door give you to make you happy?
I dont want to tell him what will make me
happy. I want him to automatically
knowwhich has to be the stupidest thing
Ive ever thought because even I dont know
what I wantI want him. I want us to be
happy and not act like children.
I dont want to fight with you anymore.
You win.

278/723

His face softens in a way that makes me

want to squeeze him.
I love winningso why do I feel like shit
right now? He steps forward and playfully
strokes my arm with his index finger.
Maybe its the huge puppy dog eyes youre
giving me.
My lips curl into a smile. Does it make
you feel bad? I ask, flicking my eyelashes.
Seth laughs once. Yes, actually, it does.
I step aside and Seth crosses the threshold
and into the house. Before we settle in for
night, I shut all of the curtains and checked
all of the rooms. Strange. Mom isnt here. I
stroll into the kitchen where Seth casually
sits on the counter, drinking a big glass of
cool water.
Your Mom left you a note. He hides his
over-confident smile behind his glass as he
takes another mouthful.

279/723

Sprawled in elegant handwriting on the

whiteboard stuck to the fridge, theres a message from Mom.
Olivia,
Will be out late tonight. Going on a dinner cruise with your Aunt Kate, remember?
See you tomorrow morning.
P.S.Who bit you? Never mind.
I cringe, slipping my fingers under my
cotton shirt and over the flesh Seth sank his
teeth into last night. Well, that has to be the
most awkward note Ive ever received.
Seth laughs, slipping off the counter and
coming up behind me. I feel the hard front of
his body graze faintly across my back and my
breath hitches as his fingers curl around the
edges of my hair and he pulls it across one
shoulder. I take my fingers from the bite and
almost immediately, Seths lips sensually
brush over it.

280/723

Im sorry I bit you, he murmurs deeply,

sending shivers cascading down my spine.
Theres something about his low, husky voice
that gets me every. Single. Time.
Dont be sorry, I breathe, my fingers
trembling to touch him. I liked it.
And I did. No word of a lie. The frisson of
energy his teeth sent through me as we both
came was intoxicating and something Id let
him do over and over again.
This is much better. I sigh, relaxing
against him. I dont like fighting with you.
He smiles against my skin. Me either, but
I dont regret it.
You dont?
No. I learned a lot of new things about
you.
I turn around. Like what?
Youre passionate. Youre stubborn, and
you like it when I fuck you hard.
I almost choke, feeling my cheeks heat immediately. I do not.

281/723

My breath hitches as he comes at me, one

hand snatches my wrists and the other
swiftly grabs a handful of my ass. He slams
me hard against the fridge and electrical currents flow through me, pooling in the most
sensitive places as he pins my arms above my
head. Embarrassingly, my breathing quickens and I soak my underwear.
Told you, he says.
He doesnt smiletheres no victory to his
expression, only darknesssweet, arousing,
darknessand I want all of it to myself.
Forever.
His mouth finds my neck and he roughly
sucks and nips at me, and I grind my hips
against him with urgency. I can feel him hard
against his jeans and pressing eagerly into
mine. Im ready for him to rip my clothes off
and take me on the countertop right nowor
at least I am until his phone rings.
He pulls it from his back pocket and slips
it onto the counter, all without taking his

282/723

mouth from me. Im more than happy to ignore it. I want all of his attention on
mewhere it counts. I hook my finger
around the hem of his jeans and almost get
the button undone when his phone rings
again. He pulls away with a frustrated groan,
and keeping my arms pinned above me, he
grabs his phone. When he reads the screen
he hesitates for a moment.
California, he mutters, answering it and
putting it to his ear. Hello? Yes. Visits? He
pauses as the person speaks on the other
end. How is she? A longer pause. Okay. Ill
be there the day after tomorrow.
He hangs up and frees my wrists. I wait
for him to speak as he rakes his fingers
through his hair and expels an exhale from
his lips. Were going to California.
We? As in me and you?
He arches a brow. No, me and the
fridgeof course you and me.

283/723

I roll my eyes playfully at his sarcasm.

What about the gym? Whos going
He silences me, pressing a finger against
my lips, and bringing the phone back to his
ear. I swat him away and he smiles, tucking
his fingers into my jean pocket and tugging
me closer. I laugh once as I push off of him
and slip away from his hold.
Jackson, its meeverythings fine. I
need you to book two tickets to California for
tomorrow afternoon. Yesand look after the
gym for a few days Seth frowns. Because
Im going to California. He laughs.
Thanks.
I smile. Im glad theyre on good terms
again. He slaps his phone against the palm of
his hand. Jackson has got the gym and
Selena will probably help.
What about your training?
Seth leans against the kitchen counter
crossing his legs at the ankles. Im not going

284/723

to be able to sort that out over the phone.

He groans. I have to go.
My insides deflate. Go? You cant go. You
were justwe wereI wasreally?
He chuckles, pushing himself off of the
counter and circling me in his arms. Ill
make it up to you, I promise. When were in
California, Ill do whatever you want me to
do to you.
The thought of going to California to see
Seths mother suddenly becomes tolerable.
Deal, but you better bring your A game.
His hand slips under the fabric of my shirt
and around to the small of my back. Dont I
always?
I smile. He sure does.
Seth plants a quick kiss on my lips and
stalks from the house, locking and closing
my front door behind him. I drop into the
couch with a heavy sigh. The thought of seeing Vanessa again makes me nervousthe
last time I saw her, Seth was carrying her

285/723

passed out from the police station. Shes had

finer moments, Im sure, and I hope shes
better, for his sake. I think itd do him some
good to have his mom back.

Chapter Nine
Seth
Talking to Darryl about skipping on training for a few days is something that had to be
done to his face. He isnt going to like it, but
the truth is, Im fucking sore. My body aches,
my ribs hurt, my face hurts, and I have a
constant headache thats driving me insane.
Sleep.
I cant wait to climb into bed and fall
asleep. Unfortunately, Darryl lives on the

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other side of town and I have to venture

through a million and one traffic lights,
meaning Im going to be driving for at least
forty minutes there and backnot to mention the long, long conversation Im going to
have
with
Darryl
following
my
announcement.
I roll to a stop outside Darryls nice family
home. Its small, but it gives off a loving vibe.
It doesnt feel cold or emit an unwelcome
feeling like my house does or the ones I grew
up in. My parents were hardly homedinners were always frozen instead of fresh,
leaving the kitchen feeling sterile. There was
no warmth of a freshly cooked meal floating
in the airnot that it matters now, I guess. I
didnt really mind, it was all I knew.
When I walked in on Olivias family dinner months ago, before Rick died, I knew Id
missed out on so much, but my kids will never have to. That I can guarantee.

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I shake my head, ignoring the thoughts.

Im only twenty-four. No need for kids
yetnot until Ive accomplished everything I
need to. I dont want to be a fighter when I
have kids. I dont want to drag Olivia to
events and parties when shes pregnant. I
smile at the thought of a small, round belly
protruding from her t-shirts. A firm knock
on my window forces the way too domesticated thoughts from my head. Im beginning
to wonder exactly who is the female in this
relationshipDarryl steps away from my
door as I open it and I try hard not to laugh
at his best dad in the world pajamas and
fail.
Ha. Ha, he deadpans. Its hilarious.
He shifts his shirt, pulling it around his
shoulders more. When you have kids, youll
see how much strength it takes to actually
use the gifts your kids buy you and then Ill
be laughing at you.

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The corner of his mouth curls upwards

and I know he enjoys it more than he lets on.
Anyway, you never visit me at home, not
since the night you almost slept with Olivia
and your mom was hospitalized for alcohol
poisoning.
I swing my legs over the edge of my chair
and rest my feet on the step. I remember that
night. During the weeks Olivia and I couldnt
have sex I remembered that night over and
over, torturing myself. Had I known all of the
things I said was going to end up being a
waste of hot air, I wouldve taken her right
then and there, and I know it would have
been the sweetest victory everhad the hospital not called for the third time that week,
that is.
So, whats up?
Im not one to beat around the bush, so I
tell him. Im taking a few days off training.
His eyebrows draw together and I brace
myself for the speech sure to follow.

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Surprisingly, they relax back to their natural

curve. Okay.
Okay?
Sure. He shrugs, crossing his arms over
his chest. You need time to recover and if
you keep going as hard as you did today, itll
take too long. He paused. Are you and
Olivia still fighting?
I shake my head. No, we made up. Were
going to California tomorrow to see Mom.
Darryls eyebrows pull closer to the
middle of his forehead again. Are you sure
thats a good idea so close to a fight? You
know how your mother is. Youve barely
been anxious since she left.
Im not letting her out, Darryl, Im only
going to see her to see if shes made progress. And because every morning I wake up
and shes not in the house, I feel like the
biggest asshole in the world. Support, thats
all she needs, but I dont have time to look
after her and me, not now that Im in the

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pros. When the season ends, Ill contemplate

signing her release. And I want Mom and
Olivia to spend some time together.
Has your mother even met Olivia?
I nod, almost cringing at the memory.
Mom had been drunk on both occasionscalling Olivia by another girls name.
I doubt she remembers, but yes.
As long as you rest, I dont see the harm
in going to California. Were leaving for Vegas in two days and tomorrow morning, we
have a meeting with the authorities and the
MMAC to discuss suing Don and
I dont want to sue him.
He inches closer to me. You dont want to
sue him?
I dont want his money. I want him out of
fightingfor good. I dont want him to have
the balls to even look at a glove, ever again.
Darryl rubs his forehead with the tips of
his fingers. Theyre not going to go for that,
theyve had their eyes on Don for a while.

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Hes a good fighter, Seth, one that the company can benefit from.
Theres no contest and I wont budge.
Don will never fight in the MMAC again and
I wont tolerate anything less.
And if they dont give you what you
want?
I shift my weight. We were attacked outside our gym, unprovoked and unaware.
Theyll give me exactly what I ask for.
Darryl shakes his head. Youve yet to
have your first fight and youre already
threatening your employers.
I smile. What can I say? Im one of a
kind.
Thats for sure.
My phone buzzes with a text message and
I pull it from my pocket to take a look.
FROM: JACKSON. TIME: 8:00P.M
Flights booked. You leave day after
tomorrow @ 5 a.m.

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I slip my phone back into my pocket.

What time is the meeting?
Nine a.m.
All right, Ill see you then.
He extends his hand to me and I put mine
in his. His long fingers clasp mine in a firm
grip and he tugs me forward, wrapping an
arm around my shoulder.
See you tomorrow. He releases me.
Who knows, maybe youll find the right
time to propose to Olivia in California.
I straighten myself in my chair and grip
my door. Maybe.
The thought alone sends dread spiraling
through my stomach. Im freaking out over a
question Im sure shell say yes to. A questionthats all it is. Its strange how
something as small as talking can have me
paralyzed with fear. I close my door and start
my car. Chatting to Darryl didnt take as long
as I expected. I can tell he needs a break, he

294/723

seems tired, and a day or two should be

plenty of time to refresh his body and mind.
I didnt take it easy on him todayespecially
after last nightand I still havent apologized
for getting pissed off at him, but I dont have
to. He wont accept an apology. They make
him uncomfortable. He prefers to forgive
and forget with no heartfelt exchanges.
Thats just who he is.
I contemplate going back to Olivias
house. Knowing her mom is out until God
knows when is temptingholding Olivia is
tempting too, but I need sleep and Id never
get my much needed sleep in a bed with
someone like hernot until I exhaust every
opening and every position.
I pull out of Darryls street, unsure where
to go. I turn right, in the direction of Olivias
house. Ignoring the dont text and drive
sign I pass, I retrieve my phone from my
pocket and send her a text message.

295/723

TO: OLIVIA. TIME: 8:11 P.M.

Go home or come to yours?
A few minutes later, she replies. And what
a reply it is. Id set the image she just sent me
as my wallpaper, but such naked perfection
is only meant for me. Theres a caption too:
You decide.
In the picture, her dark hair is wet and it
drapes down her glistening chest, barely settling above her gorgeous, pink nipples. I
want to see her bottom halfI want to see
water glisten on the other parts of her body.
The parts Id lick over and over without hesitation. That is my idea of heaven. Now, Im
glad I turned right instead of left toward my
house. Dropping my gaze to my phone
routinely, I text back.
TO: OLIVIA. TIME: 8:18 P.M.

296/723

On my way. Dont you dare move.

I drop my phone into the center console
and press a little harder on the accelerator. I
dont think I can get there fast enough.
***
(T-minus three days until Las Vegas)
I enter the gym with Darryl hot on my
heels.
I cant believe youre lateeven after I
told you we had a meeting this morning.
I hear the annoyance in his steps and I
zone it out. Im not that latetwenty
minutes, give or take a few. He follows me up
the stairs, past the office and into the meeting roomthe only room in this entire building I havent been in.
A long, varnished wooden table complete
with big (and no doubt comfortable) chairs.

297/723

Its very corporate compared to the old

school styling outside of this room. My eyes
drag over the men and woman sitting before
me. They dont seem bothered that Im late.
Then again, with suits you can never really
tell. They have their poker faces perfected.
Darryl steps by me and into the room.
Gentlemen he clears his throat. and
lady.
The caramel haired woman with the large
whiskey eyes nods at him, acknowledging his
correction. As Darryl goes back to addressing
them, her eyes flick to me and I know that
look. Her eyes are glossy, her cheeks slightly
flushed. Lust. Ive seen it a million times and
it doesnt really come any clearer than that. I
think shes attractive. I like the way her hair
is pulled back into a loose bun and I like her
tight business dress, but the look on her face
doesnt make my stomach clench. I dont
want whiskey colored eyes looking at me
from underneath slack, aroused eyelids. I

298/723

want greenI want long chocolate hair and

perky, natural breasts. Olivia. I want her, no
one else.
Where are we standing on the decision?
I ask.
Darryl steps to the side and I drop into the
chair at the head of the table.
Well, weve come to an agreement with
Dons lawyers.
Thomas, MMACs best lawyer replies,
Theyre willing to pay a substantial amount
of money to stop this from escalating.
I sit forward in my chair, resting my elbows on the table. I dont want his money.
Thomass thick, dark eyebrows furrow.
Your trainer told us
Darryl sighs, cutting him off and sitting in
a spare chair. Forget what I said. Seth has
his own idea about the outcome of this case.
Thomas knows exactly what I want and
the stress on his face tells me he doesnt want
to go that way.

299/723

What do you want, Seth? the woman

asks, slipping the end of her pen between her
lips.
She knows what shes doing and Im sure
many others have fallen for that whole sex
kitten vibe. Shit. I would have months ago.
I dont want a single dime from him. I
want him gone. No more competitions, no
more training, and no more fights.
Thomas pulls his glasses down the bridge
of his nose and off his face, before his beady
blue eyes zero in on me.
With all due respect, Mr. Marc
Seth, I correct him. Mr. Marc sounds
weird.
Seth, sorry. The MMAC is in need of good
fighters. Don Russell is our number two
choicesecond to you. Hes an asset wed
like to possess when hes earned it.
You want someone like him to represent
the MMAC? Look at my face. I rise to my
feet and tug my shirt up, exposing my

300/723

darkened ribs. Look at my ribs. He isnt a

fighter. Hes a fucking pussy.
The young guy next to Thomas shifts in
his seat and leans closer to mutter something
into his ear. When he pulls away, Thomas
clears his throat. I understand there was an
incident in Boston during the amateur tournamentyou hit Mr. Russell in the face?
I dont let my eyes waver from him. How
does he know that? I thought the tapes were
gone? I lower myself back into my seat.
Youre going to have to refresh my
memory.
As Thomas glances down, I steal a look at
Darryl, whose face is locked on me. He
seems just as surprised.
Mr. Russells lawyers have informed us
that you attacked him and his lady friend at
the Polaris gentlemens club in Boston.
Lady friend? I think for a moment and it
isnt until Darryl laughs once under his
breath I realize hes talking about Olivia.

301/723

Lady friend? Is that what he called her?

I shake my head. Don was sexually harassing my girl. I didnt attack him for no reason.
I was protecting her.
Regardless of what she was to you
Is, I interrupt.
Hm?
Is, I say again. What she is to me. Shes
still mine.
I say it with a hell of a lot more possession
than I intend.
My mistake, he replies, worried hes
overstepped a boundary. Regardless of what
she is to you, you broke the rules and he
looked the other way. Dons lawyers and the
MMAC are asking you to do the same, and
theyre offering you a substantial amount of
money for it.
I snap. Rolling over and letting Don Russell fuck me in the ass is not something Im
willing to do.

302/723

I wont budge. Never in a million years

will I ever look weak in his eyes again. He
will learn to fucking fear me. Thomas and
the MMAC lawyers watch me with excitement. They enjoy the rivalry, but I dont
want them getting any ideas about a rematch. He doesnt deserve to be in the same
ring as me.
Exhaling, Thomas shuts his folder. Well
have to do another hearing with his lawyers.
You have rights and we dont want to take
them away from you, but think about it. Having Don in the MMAC will benefit you
immensely.
I dont reply. I think Ive said enough and
Im sick of repeating myself.
They trail out of the room, one after the
other until theres no one left but Darryl and
I.
Hes right, Darryl announces after a few
long seconds, leaning forward on his elbows.
Having Don in the MMAC will be good for

303/723

your career. Spectators love rivalsit excites

them.
My rivals dont begin and end with Don.
Ive pissed off a lot of peopleI piss off Junior Moset all the time.
He shrugs. Thats not rivalry. Thats a
little cocky banter. As far as I know, you
havent slept with his girlfriend. No one
hates you like you Don hates you. Darryl
laughs loudly, making me smile. And he
hates you so fucking much.
I shift in my seat. He has to go. I want to
humiliate himto break him into tiny little
pieces.
And the ring is the perfect place to do it.
Youre in the pros now. Every fight youre in
will be broadcast to millions of viewers.
Youve beat Don before. Do it again. Do it
over and over until he begs you to leave him
alone.
I lean back in my chair. I was right about
them being comfortable, thats for sure. You

304/723

dont understand. It isnt about beating him

anymore. Ive done that. Its about closing
old chapters and moving forward. I dont
want Don in the MMAC because Im in the
MMAC, which means Olivia will see him frequently. She knows why Don hates me, and I
dont want her to get hurt because of
something I did before I met her.
So this is about Olivia?
I begin to nod, but change my mind and
start to shake my head. Its about moving
forward. Ive changed and I dont want to be
associated with the person I used to be.
Darryl sighs. Theyre not going to give
you what you want. You know that, right?
I know that and I fucking hate it.
Call my lawyers and have them call the
MMAC. They need to be reminded of the
rules. Don is out.

Chapter Ten
Olivia
My car rolls to a stop outside Seths house.
Thankfully, neither Jackson nor Selenas car
is at the front and Im hoping theyve gone
somewhere else for the night. Seth has told
me all about his lovely plan for usdinner by
the pool, wine, and a swim. Im excited. My
blood flows rapidly through my veins, causing my head to spin like Ive already ingested
alcohol. I didnt bring anything to swim inI

306/723

did it on purpose, too. Ive never swum naked before in my life, even when Selena insisted it was cool and routinely did it in her
pool. For me, being naked in a swimming
pool just isnt something that Im intonot
until now, that is. I slip from the car and approach the front door. I tug on the hem of
my dress, hating that I chose to wear
something so short and skipping on the underwear. It barely hits mid-thigh and I feel
the loose, flowing fabric sweep across my
backside. The dress is a nice royal blue and
cuts low, exposing the sides of my breasts. I
bought the dress two days ago. A little while
back, Seth and I went shopping. He really
liked the dress, but I insisted it was too out
there. I went back the next day and bought
it, hoping wed have a secluded moment so I
could wear it for him. I decided to wear my
hair up in a messy bun tonight, too. If theres
one thing I hate about swimming pools, its

307/723

getting chlorine in my hair. It makes it go all

dry and stringynot sexy, at all.
I open the door and step inside. A delicious smell filters through my nose and my
mouth instantly waters. Whatever hes cooking, it smells amazing. I dont pay attention
to the dim lighting as I make my way toward
the kitchen. My legs arent going off orders
from my brain, but from my stomach. It
wants to fill itself with the delicious basil and
tomato scent.
When I enter the kitchen, its clean, only
the warmth of a freshly cooked meal lingers
in the air. I scan the room and wait a few
seconds. Still no Seth. As Im about to step
toward the living room to sit and wait for
him, I notice the back door is open and I instinctively make my way towards it. I hear
the sounds of cutlery clashing against porcelain and a curse word fall from his lips. Hes
in the pool yard, prepping our dinner. My
heart flutters. I never expected Seth to be the

308/723

cooking type. I mean, he obviously has to

make crazy meals to keep his nutrition up,
but cooking for two? It cant be something
hes done before. I follow the stepping stones
up to the gate and peer through the bars. The
mere sight of him sends my heartbeat skyrocketingloose jeans and a tight teemy
favorite. I like the way it stretches over his
back, showing every line of muscle. He adjusts the huge bowl of pasta, shifts a chair
and moves a glass of wine. He steps back and
puts his hands on his hip, analyzing it. With
a frustrated humph he shifts the bowl back
to its original position and pushes the
second, wide chair away. As he nods approval to himself, I open the gate and it
screeches. Slowly, he looks over his shoulder,
his eyes immediately zeroing in on my legs.
Dont you look His lips twitch as he recognizes the dress. edible.
I feel my skin burn under his intense gaze
and if it wasnt for my stomach growling, I

309/723

would have skipped the meal and gone

straight for dessert.
You cooked. I smile. It smells
amazing.
Seths lips curl into a proud smirk and he
turns his body around to face me front on. I
did. I made one gigantic bowl of pasta for us
to share.
Hes looking at me like I should say
something and I bite back a laugh. Okay.
Okay? I thought youd be a little more excited than that.
I scratch my head. Over a bowl of pasta?
He laughs and the sound is so rough it
sends goosebumps rippling over the surface
of my skin. There are no words to describe
the way someones laugh elevates you higher
than the clouds and no, Seth Rogens laugh
doesnt count, no matter how glorious it is
and no matter how many times you set it as
your notification tone and text yourself over
and over just to hear it. I didnt do thatokay

310/723

I did, but it was only my message tone for

two days before I realized Id crossed the
sane line and frolicked dangerously on the
edge of bat-shit crazy.
Its strange how my body reacts to him.
Last night, after I sent Seth the picture of me
fresh out of the shower, he came over and
spent the night with me. We didnt have
sexbut he did spend most of the night with
his face between my legs. Over and over and
over he made me comeI thought Id be set
on the orgasm front for a few days, but seeing him now, laughing and trying being all
romantic, moistens me. I can feel it, slick and
wet between my thighs.
Youve seen Lady and the Tramp, right?
he asks.
Sure.
Well, girls love Lady and the Tramp.
Hes almost proud of himself.

311/723

I laugh once at his reference to the iconic

movie, famous for the pasta kiss. Says
who?
Selena was watching it when I got home
this afternoon. She said you two have
watched it a million times.
Yeah, I agree. When we were twelve.
Seth rolls his eyes and places himself in
his seat. Do you want to share a bowl of
pasta with me or not?
Id love to. I stroll over to the empty
chair and as Im about to drop into it, Seth
clicks his tongue in a disapproving way.
Thats not your seat.
I pause mid-squat. Where do I sit?
His thick fingers nonchalantly tap his
knee. Right here.
I quirk a brow. Wait, whos the tramp
here? I dont think a lady would sit on a
mans knee at the dinner table.

312/723

His eyes flare, apparently enjoying the

banter. Sit on my knee before I bend you
over it.
I comply because I know hes a man of his
word. I slip onto his knees and he pulls me
right into his chest, inching the glass table
closer to us. I inhale subtly as his smell engulfs me. Its that clean, fresh out of the
shower smellthe kind of smell that filters
through your nose and lingers at the back of
your throat, igniting your blood. You swallow
hard in an attempt to quench the desire to
lick the flesh the scent emanates from, only
you cant. Nothing extinguishes the craving,
not until the skin becomes slick with your
saliva as your tongue glides over it ever so
smoothly.
He twirls his fork in the delicious chaos of
pasta and sauce before bringing it to my lips.
I open my mouth and he puts it in. I glance
backwards at him and his eyes are locked on
my mouth. They watch closely as my lips

313/723

wrap around the food and I pull it off the

fork.
Are you ready for California tomorrow?
I nod, chewing my food. You?
Yeah. He spins the fork in the pasta,
pulling a forkful out for himself.
I look around the pool yard. It really is
beautiful. The lights are all on, giving the
pool a beautiful, forbidden glow. Right now,
I feel like Im in the jungle somewhere, near
a hidden location untouched by anyone else.
The rocks that house the lights look real. The
blue water looks like its glowing, and theres
a chorus of chirps from crickets that make it
all that much more believable.
The pasta doesnt get finished, which
makes Seth happy. It turns out hes a big fan
of reheated foods, not me. Its fresh or nothing. When he takes the leftovers to put in the
kitchen, I whip my dress over my head and
unclip my bra. When he comes back, Im naked and waiting to get in the pool. As he

314/723

opens the gate, he stops abruptly, his eyes

completely glued to my naked body. I bite
back a smile as his stare darkens and he pulls
his t-shirt off in a single, fluid move. All of
his hard muscles and tattoos are exposed to
me and I try hard not to faint into the pool.
Without saying a word, he stalks toward
mehis naughty intent clear in his eyes and
he doesnt stop until his warm torso is
pressed firmly against mine, sending white
hot arousal to every tip in my bodyhead,
toes, fingersyou name it, its there. My
body buzzes as his eyes remain locked on
mine while his thick fingers travel down my
stomach before slipping right into my wetness. His free arm surrounds me, pulling me
tightly against him and he lowers his mouth
to my ear.
Youre so fucking wet, he growls, firmly
touching me.
His voice, low and husky, vibrates through
my body and I almost shiver. I groan in

315/723

agreement and he chuckles darkly once under his breath. The sound sends a stronger
arousal, pure and unmatched by any other
feeling, rocketing through my system.
We shouldnt be doing this outside, I
say, although I have no intention of stopping.
This time, I shiver as his mouth moves to
my ear and the very edge of his plump lip
brushes against it. We should and we will.
The first stroke of his fingers causes me
moan. Its loud, low and unbelievably
shameless. Its a sound I shouldnt have
made outside, but my care-factor for being
seen or heard is suddenly below zero.
Freeing myself from his pull, I step backwards, making my way down the steps of the
pool. The warmish water laps at my ankles
and then my shins. I move backwards, maintaining eye contact with the beast waiting on
the sidelines whos watching me closely like
Im his next meal. When the water breaks
against my shoulders I stop, waiting for Seth

316/723

to make his next move. Theres a small smile

on the corner of his lips as he pulls his belt
off and tosses it to the side. I catch my lip in
between my teeth as he pops the button on
his jeans and drags down the zipper. I sink
lower in the water, up to my neckuntil my
hard breathing causes the surface to ripple.
In one swift movement, Seth is nakedall
of him on showand he likes it. Quickly and
with absolute purpose, he makes his descent
into the water, barely flinching at the cool
temperature. When hes shoulder deep and a
short distance away from me, my body heats
up and the water isnt enough to cool me
down. Im certain if Seth doesnt put his
hands on me right now, Im going to
implode.
When he finally does reach me, I realize
Ive backed all the way up to the wall and
now my backside is pressing hard against the
smooth pebbles. Seth lowers himself so hes

317/723

eye level with me and his hands grip the edge

of the pool, either side of my head.
The glow of the pool darkens his features
and I drag my gaze over his jet black hair,
dark eyes, the healing cut on his cheek and
finally, a set of full lipsall of them are only
a few painful inches away from me. Thankfully, he decides to close the distance and
bring his mouth to mine. Surprisingly, the
kiss is at a much slower pace than what I was
expectingits sensual and stokes the small
flames inside me. Without breaking the kiss,
his hands drop from the edge of the pool and
slip onto the nape of my neck. As soon as
they touch my flesh, they begin their descent
over my shoulders, down my arms, and circle
my waist. I inch closer to him, reveling in the
sensation of his bare, rough hands on my exposed skin. Even in the silky water his hands
feel rough and invigorating.

318/723

A small quiver rolls down my spine and I

feel his lips twitch before he pulls his head
back to look at me.
I love the way you react to me. Ever so
slowly, the hands that hold my waist glide
higher again, until his thumb brushes
against the swell of my breast.
Yeah?
He nods once, smiling his beautiful smile.
Yeah.
Seth leans closer to me, bringing his gorgeous lips right by my ear. I listen closely
and he moans his own name, mimicking me,
and a jolt of embarrassed energy frissons
through me. I shove him backwards.
Seth! I squeal, feeling my face heat up.
Dont!
I can see it on his facethe way his playful
expression leers at mehe loves the reaction
Im giving him.
Oh, Seth, he says in his best Olivia
voice. I fucking love that. Do it again.

319/723

Seth! I try really hard to sound threatening and not amused by his taunting, but its
just not working.
Youre the best Ive ever had, he continues, boosting his ego sky high. Harder.
Faster.
He knows hes the best Ive had and he
loves it. I launch forward, wrapping my arms
around his neck and pulling him against me.
You need to stop before I drown you.
You dont like hearing how sexy you
sound? His hands travel down to my backside and he lifts me, forcing me to wrap my
legs around his hips.
Its not sexyat least not when you repeat it back to me in that horrible tone.
Horrible tone? Im so good at impersonating you that I gave myself a boner.
I almost choke on a laugh and attempt to
push off of him, only he squeezes me harder
against him and I cant get away.

320/723

You are a piece of work, you know that? I

sound nothing like that. You
His glorious lips cut me off and my eyes
flutter shut on instinct. Such a typical Seth
move, thinking he can shut me up with his
mouth. Ill show him
In a minute
when his mouth stops feeling so damn
amazing.
My brain wants to contest Seth, to fight
him for being so pert, but my lady parts want
other things and they know exactly how to silence my brain.
My hands whip through his hair, following
the orders of my hormones instead of my
brain. They slide over his strong shoulders,
the defined muscles of his back and down his
solid arms. He kisses me down my neck and
continues on his familiar route to my collarboneI love it when he kisses my collarbone.
At the apex of my thighs, I can feel his length
waiting patiently for us to get the show on

321/723

the road. Any second nowI dont think I

can hold out for much longer.
I roll my head to the side and watch the
water glisten on the dark marks of Seths tattoos. My arms surround his neck again, and I
hold him close to me. Underneath, I feel him
lining himself up and no more than a second
later, he shoves himself inside of me. I gasp
in euphoric shock as my body enlivens with
erotic sensations. Even though I knew it was
coming, I forgot the indescribable feeling
that comes with being completely filled by
him. He keeps his mouth on my neck as he
grips my ass, pulling our hips as close as
possible.
Hes so deep, striking all of the chords in
the very back of my depths causing bursts of
heat to explode throughout my body.
Fuckinghell He breathes against my
skin before hanging his head back.

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I watch him, completely mesmerized by

his parted lips and his muscular chest that
heave with his strained breaths.
A wave of lust hits me with the full force of
a tsunami behind it and without thinking I
lean forward and press my open mouth to
his neck. I lick his skin and feel his throat vibrate underneath my tongue.
Bite me, Seth rasps and I dont hesitate.
Not for a second.
I bite down on his neck and the growl that
erupts from Seth sends heat shooting
through my veins in steady bursts. My
muscles clench and I scream into his
shoulder as my stomach rolls with familiar
waves, and I swear to God white lights blind
my eyes.
When I come back to, I realize Im pressed
against the edge of the pool. I release Seth,
lean backwards and rest my elbows on the
dark edges of the concrete. He holds my hips
and I look up at him as the water laps over

323/723

our bodies as he thrusts into me. His dark

eyes are on my breasts before they flick to
my face.
He half smiles, half catches his lip
between his teeth. So sexy.
Seth draws his body closer to mine and
my back grazes against the rocks with every
thrust, sending new waves of lust through
me. He begins to groan and swear under his
breath with every second thrust. I can tell by
his face and his erratic movements that hes
close.
Fuck, baby, Seth grips my shoulder,
pulling me off the edge of the pool and right
into him. I manage a sharp intake of air before he slams his mouth to mine and the moment our tongues rush to entwine, he groans
harshly, crushing me to him. His hips move
in an unsteady rhythm, his fingers digging
roughly into my flesh. I hear his growls
soften and eventually die down to relieved
moans and satiated sighs. As my own waves

324/723

of bliss begin to fade, the mere thought of

snuggling up to Seth in bed sounds like an
amazing idea.
His mouth slips from mine and he nuzzles
my neck, kissing it softly. When his grip on
me loosens, I slip away from him, planting
my feet on the floor of the pool. I attempt to
pass him, to leave the water and gather my
dress, but before I get anywhere, he grabs my
elbow and pulls me right back to him. His
lips part, drawing my gaze, and he purses
them in thought.
Are you okay? I ask, confused.
Yeah, I just He almost smiles, but behind the smile I see the frustration. It can
wait.
I feel my brows draw together. You
sure?
He seemed pretty conflicted a second ago,
but now all traces of it are gone.
Positive.

325/723

He releases me and I linger for a few

seconds before continuing my way to the
steps.
When I emerge from the water, the warm
air is suddenly cool and unwanted. I glance
over my shoulder at Seth. Hes completely
submerged himself under the water and by
the time he resurfaces, Ive already slipped
my dress over my body. It clings to my wet
skin as I lean lazily against the fence with my
hands tucked tightly underneath my armpits
in an effort to warm them.
I blink a few times in order to stay awake.
My eyes threaten to shut and the only thing
keeping them open is the stunning mass of
muscle that rises from the pool. I swear my
world goes slo-mo while I watch him roughly
rake his fingers through his hair, making it
look all disheveled and sexy. Thats not all
that caught my attention, either. My eyes
roam his perfect formlike they did the first
time I ever laid eyes on him. My mouth goes

326/723

dry and I want to run my lips over his moist

throat. Im suddenly aware of a strange,
searing heat across the back of my neck and
an electrical current Ive never felt before
tingles. I smile. Its nice to see nothing has
changed. I dont think Ill ever get used to his
unadulterated perfection.
Keep looking at me like that and Ill take
you for round two.
I push off the fence and lick my bottom
lip. It feels cold and numb. I really hope its
not blue. We have to get up early tomorrow,
remember?
He shrugs. If we miss it, well book another flight. He smiles a cocky smile. Im
sure itll be worth it.
I bend over, pulling Seths shirt off the
ground and tossing it to him. Ive never
been on a plane before and Im excited, so, if
you make me miss it, Im going to kill you.
He ditches the shirt and reaches for his
jeans, putting one leg in after the other. He

327/723

pulls them up and buttons them low on his

hips. As he finishes, he extends his hand to
me and I take it. My skin warms up in his
and I cant wait to get upstairs and have his
entire body heat radiate onto me.
In Seths room, I dump the dress in the
bathroom and quickly run a towel over my
body, drying up all of the little beads of water
that are chilling me down to my bones.
I drop the towel and stalk back into the
bedroom, stopping halfway to the bed. My
eyes widen a fraction as they settle on Seth
and all of his damp glory casually lying in the
bed.
Youre wet.
Wet is a little bit of an exaggeration. The
air had almost dried him completely before
we got into the house, save for a small spattering of drops over his chest and arms.
He flashes me another one of those
smiles. I believe thats my line.

328/723

I try not to smile, but Im sure the awkward pout on my lips as I shake my head had
already given away the fact that I want to.
Seth chuckles as he rolls the sheets down
to his naked hips. Get in here.
I rapidly rush to the light switch and flick
it off before diving into bed. Seths arms
circle me, immediately drawing me into him
and my chest flutters.
I like this.
I like the way were connecting. When we
were fighting and lying in the bed, ignoring
each other, I felt empty and I never want to
feel like that again. With Blade, I fell asleep
alone and angry more times than I can
countthats not a relationship. What we
had was an inconvenient routine I couldnt
shake and Ill be damned if I let another relationship go down that path. When Im in bed
with Seth, I want to touch himto feel his
skin against mine. I want to feel overwhelmed by loveso overwhelmed that it

329/723

exhausts me and I fall asleep in his arms.

That is a relationship. That is love.
Seth buries his face in my damp hair and
kisses me. I love you, he whispers and it
makes my heart stutter.
As silly as it sounds, I forget he loves me.
Its hard to believe someone who walks
around commanding so much attention with
his acute cockiness, hard muscles, and tattoos would ever let someone like me to bring
him to his kneesand make no mistake, I
bring him to his knees. I bring him to his
knees, hard.
I shuffle backwards, pressing my body
harder into his. I love you, too.
In the silence that follows, I think about
our trip to California. Ive never been on a
plane beforeIve always wanted to go on
one, but believe it or not, I was a very dedicated worker before Seth came along. I never
took a day off for anything. I dont know
what happenedSeth stalked into my life

330/723

and scrambled my internal wiring. Since

then, I havent been the same and Im okay
with that. When you meet someone who
makes your entire body buzz with only a curl
of their lips, you cant escape it. You become
drawn to it, forgetting everything thats supposed to matter to you. Seth became my sun
and I gravitated around himI still do, and
like the sun, theres still so much to learn
about Seth. I know hes big and beautiful, but
I also know hes fiery and unpredictable. In
California, I think Im going to be seeing a lot
more of the fiery, negative Seth. Hes always
moody when it comes to his motheror at
least he was when I first met him. He was always in the gym, punching out his
frustrations.
His mother, Vanessa, is a very hard woman to read. Ive only met her once and on
both occasions she was drunk off her ass,
both confusing and frustrating me with her
violent mood swings, not to mention the fact

331/723

she calls me by a different girls name every

time I see her. A nervous feeling twists my
stomach. Vanessas going to be mad Seth had
her sent awaymaybe I can sit out visiting
her? No. I cant do that. Seth will need my
support and thats why Im going
For him.
The need for sleep fades and I find myself
wide awake long after Seths breathing evens
out and my body bears the weight of his arm.
His breathing is slow and heavy, sounding
totally at peace. I wish the sudden bout of
anxious nausea would go away so I can sleep.
The last thing I want is to look like crap visiting Seths mom tomorrow. I want her to like
meto think Im worthy of her son. Hell, Ill
even go as far as to say I want her to be
proud of Seth for finding a girl like me. Im
not one to brag, but comparing myself to
Cassie (the girl Seth slept with before me),
Im a catch. Sure she was hot, but shes
hardly the kind of girl you can bring home to

332/723

your Mamanot unless you want to be accused of hiring a date from an expensive escort service.
Seth sighs sleepily, pulling me from my
thoughts, and I stifle a yawn as sleep slowly
claims me. I shift forward, hoping to roll
onto my stomach, but Seths hand clenches
my stomach, holding me in place. I smile.
Even in his sleep he has to have me close.
I wish hed ask me to marry him already. I
know thats what hes been trying to do for
the past few weeks. Only one question makes
a guy that nervous. Seth is uncensored. He
says what he wants when he wants and I find
it cute that hes scared of my response. I
dont know why, surely he knows its going to
be yesa million times yes! Im impatient. I
want him to be all mine. I want his last
nameto carry his childrenyou name it, I
want it.
And all he has to do is ask.

333/723

***
I lean lazily against his car and yawn as
Seth pays the meter. Apparently, you can
leave your car at the airport, who knew? Id
never do it, not these days, anyway. Seth,
however, has no problems leaving his car. He
doesnt have to, though. Jackson offered to
drop us off and pick us up, but Seth insisted
we do it alone. Not surprising, hes never
been one to want help.
After he pays, we enter the airport, do all
of the lame, time-consuming obligations like
waiting in line and checking in as well as
waiting an hour and half before we can even
board the gigantic plane. As I sit in the plane
awaiting take off, my pulse quickens. It sped
up when we arrived at the airport, it
quickened even more when we had our necessary IDs checked and it was violently
slamming against my ribs as we boarded the
plane. Through it all, Seth rubbed my lower

334/723

back and gave me small squeezes of reassurance and it helped, a little.

Flying to another state is exhaustingthe
packing, the early morning, the driving, the
waitingits all too much. Beside me, Seth
shifts closer, putting his hand on mine.
Relax, he tells me, giving a slight lopsided smirk. There cant be two anxious
messes on the plane.
I study his face and the slow rise and fall
of his chest. Neither betrayed any sign of the
anxiousness he apparently feels inside.
You dont like flying?
God, no. Id much rather have both my
feet firmly planted on the ground, but sometimes, we have to do things we hate. His
smirk widens. And this is one of those
things.
A tall, lanky stewardess with beautiful auburn hair slips by us and strolls into a small
room at the front of the plane.

335/723

Try not to freak out or theyll throw you

off the plane.
I lean into him, whispering. What?
Theyll kick me off? Just like that?
Seth is enjoying this. The amused expression on his face says so and he licks his lips
to hide a smile. Yep, so behave.
I relax back into my seat and try to come
off as uncaring and cool, but I cant help tapping my fingertips along the hem of my skirt,
occasionally touching my bare thigh. Seth
chose my outfit for todaya tight, black
business skirt and a light pink silk blouse
with a frilly collar. I planned on saving this
outfit for dinner if we go out, but Seth
couldnt wait that long to see me in it and demanded I wear it today. Id be happier in a
pair of sweatpants and a plain tee. Isnt that
what people wear on planes? Comfortable
clothes?
I drag in a deep inhale and reach to open
the window. We arent in the sky yet, but I

336/723

figure if I face my fear head on and watch

our ascent, then Ill be ready for the flight.
Before my fingers curl around the handle of
the blind, Seth whips across, grabbing my
wrist. I gasp as he pulls my hand away from
it.
Settle down, daredevil. He chuckles.
You might want to conquer your fears, but
Im fine hiding from mine. He lets me go.
Please dont open the blind.
Am I trying to hide a skeptical smile? I
think I am. Youre that scared? Im sure its
beautiful.
He nods his head, unashamed. Yes, I am
that scared. Were going to be very, very high
uptens of thousands of feetand I dont
care how beautiful it is, its a sight I never
want to see.
Im itching to open the blinds now. I want
to see the cloudsmy thoughts of the fluffy
white clouds are interrupted by the pilots
voice. I barely pay attention to what hes

337/723

saying. All I can focus on is the erratic pulse

of my heart. A few minutes and a dozen
safety announcements later, were racing
down the runway and officially on our way to
California.
***
(T-minus two days until Las Vegas)
My body is charged with excitement and a
sense of self-accomplishment as we drive
away from the airport in an SUV Seth rented.
I went on an airplane for the first time! I
dont care how childish I sound, it was amazing and when Seth went to the toilet, I even
peeked out the window.
Seamless. Serene. Surreal.
Those are the only words I have to describe what I saw. I want to see it again and I
want to take photos of it, to remember exactly how perfect it was. I pull down the visor
and check my hair in the mirror, not bad

338/723

considering I was squishing it against the

headrest of a chair for a couple of hours.
I peek sideways at Seth, his eyes focus on
the road and I notice his hands grip the
steering wheel off and on again, over and
over.
Nervous? I ask, placing a hand on his
jean-clad thigh.
He drops his hand from the steering
wheel and takes my hand in his. Strangely,
the gesture sends a million and one flutters
up my arm and directly into my chest.
I dont know. He moistens his lips and
keeps his gaze out the front windscreen.
This can go really wellor it can be a total
fuck up.
If it goes well? I wonder aloud.
Well take her home with us.
And if its a fuck up?
He ponders for a second and his jaw
clenches imperceptibly. She stays.

339/723

I analyze his face. He doesnt like that idea

and I can tell hes conflicted. He wants to
bring his mother home, but not until shes
better and I pray for his sake that she is.
***
The institute is nothing like I imagined. I
pictured a cold, white cube-like buildingI
didnt expect a resort by the beach. We drive
up a long, straight driveway, lined with gorgeous palm trees and bushes. I wind my window down and the car floods with the smell
of various flowers. What a lovely place.
The color scheme of the buildingsthe
browns and charcoalscontrasted well with
the blue sky and almost white sandits
nothing like the dull prison I envisioned. I
contemplate cracking a joke about becoming
an alcoholic just to get locked up in a place
like this, but I decide against it. Its way too
soon for jokes like that.

340/723

I breathe in the crisp scent of sea salt and

it tickles the back of my throat. I love it here.
Were not in Kansas anymore, Toto. California feels worlds away from Portland, Maine.
Im paralyzed with awe at the serenity of
the institutionfrom the driveway to the
parking lotall of it amazes me and it isnt
until I feel Seths full lips press quickly
against my cheek that I realize weve
stopped. When I look at him, he smiles at
me, but its a fake smile that I assume is supposed to make me feel better. His eyes are
darkcloudedand the beautiful golden
rivers are barely distinguishable.
Without a word, I slip from my seat and
shut the door. As we meet around the back of
the car, Seth stuffs his hands into his pockets. I study him closely as he breathes
deeply, preparing himself for the reunion
with his mother. His sky blue shirt tightens
around his chest with every inhale and I
reach out to him, running my arms up the

341/723

hard ridges of his biceps and onto the nape

of his neck. He blows air from his cheeks. I
feel stupid.
I frown. Why do you feel stupid?
He shrugs his broad shoulders. Because
Im nervous His eyelids droop a fraction
and for some reason, his sudden vulnerability pierces my heart. Theres a sick feeling in
the pit of my stomach and I feel like throwing up.
In this moment, I see a glimpse of what
Seth mightve looked like as a child, with all
of his innocence still intactbig, glossy
brown eyes, straight lips, and a worried little
furrow between his brows.
Adorable.
Dont feel stupid, I say, unable to hide a
smile.
I bring my arms back down and hook one
around his. Slowly, I draw him closer to the
front doors. You have every right to be
nervous and whether it ends on a good note

342/723

or a bad note, this will all be over soon. Then,

we can both sit around and sulk or we can go
to the beachwhatever you want to do, well
do it.
He nods and the movement keeps me
linked to his childhood.
So fucking adorable.
***
Once we pass the reception desk and they
check us over a few times to make sure we
arent trying to smuggle anything in, a nurse
leads us up spacious halls and through luxurious sitting areas. Everything seems to be a
bright white trimmed with gold. All stonework is marble and the lights are low, crystal
chandeliers. This place is more like a six star
hotel than an alcoholic recovery center. The
nurse veers around a corner and we follow.
The uniforms here arent scrubs in various
colors of blue, but more office attiretight

343/723

business dresses and lavish, too-high heels.

Sadly, I fit right in here.
The nurse stops outside a door and suddenly a tornado of nerves sweeps through
me. I hate not knowing whats on the other
side of the door. It can swing both ways.
Either itll make this trip worth it or itll be a
complete waste of time.
The pretty blonde nurse turns to us.
Heads up, shes in a little bit of a foul mood
this morning.
Great. I lick my lips in an attempt to
moisten the nervous dryness that has seized
themit doesnt help. With a friendly nod,
she leaves us alone at the door. I shift closer
to Seth, allowing my finger to glide over the
back of his wrist.
Ill wait out here for you. I step away
from him, feeling a little relieved that I dont
have to go in there with VanessaI almost
get away with it too, until Seths hard, strong

344/723

hand envelops mine and he pulls me right

back into him.
I want you with me, he says under his
breath as he crushes me to his chest. Its low
and aggressive, striking all of the right
chords. Dont make me face her alone.
Seth, shes your moth
Im not asking you, O. I need you in the
room with me.
His faceI cant even take it. Hes sweet
and demanding all at once. How can my
brain compete against my heart? My brain
knows its better for Vanessa and myself if
Im not in there tainting their reunion, but
my heart knows I should be there to support
Sethregardless of how uncomfortable it
makes me.
I nod in compliance and he holds me
closer for a little while longer. Time and
space falls away as he holds me in his gaze.
The building could be on fire right now,
alarms
could
be
blaringsprinklers

345/723

blastingand Id have no idea. Id be completely oblivious to anything that isnt Seth.

His hands circle my waist and my sight drops
to his lips as he lowers them to mine. I feel
his breath on my face as he painfully eliminates the distance between our mouths. My
lips are parted by the time his graze mine
and before they seal shut, his body goes rigid
and he turns his head, taking his luscious
lips away from me. I blink rapidly, feeling as
though Ive just been let out of some crazy,
lust-filled mind control. I was too consumed
in Seth to hear Vanessas door open and
when I turn my head, Im met with the dark,
espresso eyes that belong to one pissed off
mother.
Seth shifts his weight and I pull away from
him, straightening my shirt and skirt. I feel
my face heat up and I clear my throat.
Theres no sign of embarrassment on Seths
features and I wonder if he actually cares

346/723

that we were busted by his mother outside

her door.
Theres a long silence and my gaze flicks
between the two. They watch each other in
some silent showdownat least now I know
where he got it from. The silence doesnt last
long and is quickly broken as Vanessas hand
shoots out and slaps Seth right across the
face. I gasp and my hands fly up to cover my
mouth. He barely looks hurt by the slap and
he keeps watching his mother. Hair prickles
over the surface of my body and my entire
system floods with shock and anger.
What the fuck?

Chapter Eleven
Seth
My face stings, but Ive been hit by things
ten times bigger and stronger than my 120
pound mother. I dont mind, its not like I
didnt deserve it. I had her taken away in her
sleep and sent to the other side of the country for rehabilitation. Id be pissed, too.
Are you kidding me? Olivia barks, stepping forward. I reach out, pressing my hand
firmly against her stomach. The last thing I

348/723

want is a fight between my mother and my

girlfriendMom is tall and has reach on her
side, but dont underestimate Olivias fierceness. The girl can throw a mean jab, too.
Hes your son, O continues and I feel her
stomach clench under my hand.
Olivia
And I am his mother, Mom interrupts.
She flicks her long, back hair over her
shoulder and straightens her blue blouse.
Yet he had me shipped to California against
my will, kicking and screaming.
Despite the angry features that contort her
face, she looks healthy. Her skin is free of
that alcohol-induced sweat and her eyes are
wide and alert. She really is a beautiful woman and I dont hold the slap against her.
You look good, Mom, I tell her, unable
to hide my smile.
I can feel Olivias confused stare burn into
the side of my face. I dont think shell ever
understand me. Im unpredictablethe best

349/723

kind of unpredictable. Tears well in Moms

eyes and I know shes already forgiven me
for putting her here.
Oh, Sethy! she sobs before launching
forward and wrapping her arms around my
neck. I hug her back. I dont know how long
we hug, but its nice. With one hug, all of the
apprehensions and nerves I had upon arrival
are gone. Theyre replaced with feelings of
happiness. Maybe it worked this time and
shes better. Maybe I can take her home.
Mom pulls away as Olivia speaks. Ill be
waiting for you down the hall when youre
ready. I see her lips slightly pouted, shes
still a little mad and its cute that shes fired
up to protect me.
I nod at her and she whirls around on her
heel before heading back the way we came.
I see you brought Nata
I look at Mom and frown. Why cant she
remember her name? Its not hard. Its the

350/723

one name I want her to remember and she

cant even do that.
Sarajane?
Holding in my frustration, I prompt her.
Olivia.
Olivia, right. Shes still around, I see.
Mom turns around and enters her room.
I follow her and close the door behind me.
Moms room is immaculatedefinitely worth
the money I forked out for it.
She must be good in bed for you to keep
her around this long. The other girls I saw at
the house came and went in the same day.
Olivia is good in bedgreat in bedbut
thats not why I keep her around. I lean
against the wall and fold my arms over my
chest as Mom drops into a hard looking arm
chair. Shes around because I love her.
Moms eyebrow quirks and she pulls a
small ball of fluff off her black slacks. You?
In love? Cmon, Seth, we both know thats
not true. Love isnt you.

351/723

I shrug. It is now.
Ive come a long way in such a short period of time that my mother wouldnt even
know who I am anymore, and its all because
of one girl. My girl. Im going to marry her.
Her full lips twitch upwards. You sound
certain.
I am.
She starts to pick at her nailsa habit that
really gets under my skin. If youre so confident, why havent you asked her yet?
I grind my teeth together, frustrated. Its
the same damn question Ive been asking
myself every night before I sleep. Moms lip
twitch turns into a full smile.
You want to marry her? Do you need my
blessing?
I shake my head. I dont need anyones
blessing. Im just informing you of my plan.
And children? Last I heard you never
wanted kids. Has that changed?

352/723

Yes, I want kids. Threeall boys. I tell

her without hesitation.
When the hell did I decide that? Children
used to be a no-go zone, but now I know
how many I want and the sexes I want them
to be? If Im not careful, Ill be writing baby
names into a notebook by the end of the
week. Scary.
You cant choose their sex, Seth. Why
dont you want a girl?
Karma, thats why.
Mom laughs and the sound is a welcome
noise to my ears. Its been a long time since
Ive heard her laugh hiccup free. Anyway,
we have limited time. Tell me everything.
Howd your tournament go?
I won, I reply. Im in the pros now.
She shifts forward in her seat, excited, and
it makes me feel all warm and shit inside.
Thats so great! I knew you could do it.
Hows Maddi?

353/723

Hows Maddi? I should have assumed a

conversation about my success would spark
one about hers.
I dont know, I deadpan. And I didnt.
Ive been ignoring her calls since she moved
to Vegas. We havent spoken since you hit
her.
Mom flinches at the memory and sits back
in her chair. I immediately feel bad. I
shouldnt have brought it up. It was years
ago. Before we moved to Portland, Mom
came home pretty drunk and Maddi and I
were watching a movie. By that stage, it
wasnt unusual for Mom to indulge in alcohol
after work and we didnt hold it against her,
considering Dad had passed away. Maddi
told Mom about her plans to drop out of law
school to go to Vegas with her douchebag
boyfriend, Kye, and Mom lost her shit. She
threw things, cursed, swore and criedshe
went through the usual over the top drunk
emotions before lashing out and attacking

354/723

Maddi. I knew Mom had crossed the line, but

I let her slap Maddi repeatedly in hopes
Maddi would come to her senseshell, I
wanted to slap her. I dont like Kye. I dont
like the way he looks at my sisteror the way
he touches her. He fills her head with hopes
and dreams, ones I know shes too good for,
and if, by some fucking miracle, his band
does get picked up, I dont want Maddi to become second to him. She has to be firstalways. I want nothing but the best for my
little sister. Hell fuck her around and I know
he willbecause hes like me. Difference is, I
fucked around before I met the girl of my
dreams. Ive experienced it all. He hasnt,
and when the women start to throw themselves at himIm worried my sister will get
hurt.
Anyway, back on topic. I shouldnt have
sat back and let Mom hit Maddi. I should
have fucking done something.

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It was a long time ago, Mom mutters. I

wasnt myself.
I step closer. But you are now and you
seem okay. Let me take you home.
A sudden tear rolls from Moms eyes and
down the length of her cheek. She wipes it
away. Im not ready to go.
Well, I wasnt expecting that. I crouch
low, getting to eye level. Did I hear her
correctly?
This is where I need to be right now. Im
so close to kicking the habit. I want to come
home, but all Im thinking about right now is
going to a bar for a Cosmo. I want to get better, Sethy, and I have to be here to do it.
She tucks a lock of black hair behind her
ear. Im okay physically, but mentally, Im
drained. I cant go back to the real world yet.
Not yet.
I want her to come home, but Im not going to pressure her. If she feels she needs

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more time, then thats exactly what Ill give

her for as long as she wants.
You can have more time, but the second
you truly believe youre ready to come home,
call me and Ill be on the first flight, regardless of where I am in the world.
Mom reaches out and cups my face. Oh,
my baby boy. she sniffles and blinks back
tears. Im sorry you had to take care of me.
Youve done so much for meIm the parent,
not you, and yet you stepped up to the plate
and kept me going.
To hear her acknowledge all that Ive done
for her strikes me directly in the heart. It
makes everything Ive done worth it. It
makes all of the stress, all of the sleepless
nights and scares Ive endured worth it.
Her bottom lip quivers and I want to
flinch away. Seeing your mother cry is the
worst thing in the world. It makes you feel
small and helpless, like a child.

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Now that Ive passed the dark stage I was

in, I can admit to myself and to you that I
wanted to die. Before I fell asleep every
night, I prayed for death. I begged God to not
let me wake up, knowing Id have to repeat it
over and overwaking up alone, driving to
work alone, eating aloneall of the things I
was so used to doing with your father, I had
to do alone and it affected me.
She leans forward, planting a quick kiss
on my forehead. I never want to feel that
again. I never want my children to see me
like that ever again. Im better now, not perfect, but better.
Ive never really had a deep and meaningful conversation with Mom. Not like this,
anyway. She drops her hands from my face
and I smile at her. You were never alone
and you never will be.
A distracting beep over the P.A. pulls us
from our conversation and Mom wipes her

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pink face with the back of her hand, sniffling

with sadnessno, happinessmaybe both.
Attention guests, visiting time is now
over. Please say your goodbyes. You are
more than welcome to return in four hours
when visiting hours recommence. Thank
you.
I rise to my feet and run my fingers briefly
through my hair.
How long are you in California for?
Mom asks, pushing up off of the couch.
Until tomorrow morning. I was going to
take Olivia to the beach this afternoon, but
Ill come back and visit you instead.
She scoffs and swats me away. Dont be
silly. Take the girl to the beach. Cali is too
beautiful to be stuck indoors.
But
No buts. Her long, thin arms surround
me as she pulls me in for a hug and her familiar scent envelops me. Take her to the
beach. Ill be fine.

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After a quick goodbye, I close her door behind me and draw in a deep inhale. When I
exhale, I feel differentrenewed. Mom is
okay. For the first time in a long time, she
isnt playing on my mind and Im completely
at ease when I think about her. It has been
years since Ive felt that way, and since meeting Olivia, the old chapters in my story have
closed one by oneMason, Mom, all of the
random girls and even Don. From here, new
chapters will be written and theyll feature
Olivia in every single sentence of every single
paragraph. Without her, my story cant move
forward and it cant be completed. I love her.
Shes the one good thing Ive allowed myself
to have since I let Dad get into my head, and
so far, so good. Maybe I am good. If I wasnt,
why would the universe give Olivia to me?
They wouldnt put someone as innocent as
her in harms way.
Maybe Dad was wrong about me.

Chapter Twelve
Olivia
I watch the beautiful girls in glamorous
dresses practically glide around the restaurant. I envy them and their porcelain skin. I
envy the way they sway with fluid movementsmovements so graceful, they give
flowers swaying gently in the afternoon
breeze a run for their money. I definitely feel
like Im sitting low on the attractive scale tonightespecially with the minor sunburn I

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received after being at the beach with Seth

all day. Why he let me sleep in the middle of
a Californian beach in the middle of the day
is beyond me. Apparently, I looked too comfortable to wake. He smiles at me from
across the table and I roll my eyes at him. I
dont care how comfortable I looked, Im not
comfortable anymore, my skin stings a little
and Im tired as hell.
The tight black dress with the plunging
neckline Ive chosen to wear tonight may
make me look slimmer, but it does nothing
to lessen the pinkish hue in my skin.
Im assuming youve been to California
before? I ask, slipping a piece of ravioli into
my mouth.
Seth has been more than accommodating
here in California. He knows which beaches
to hit, what restaurants make the best steak,
and Ive yet to pull out my wallet to pay for
anythingwhich is very strange for me. With
Blade, I paid for almost everything. I dont

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like depending on people, it makes me uncomfortable. Depending on someone else

doesnt come natural to me, but Seth has no
problem swiping his card anywhere we go.
Jackson and I used to come here every
summer for a couple of years.
He smiles at me before taking a long sip of
his ice cold water. I admire the way his black
formal shirt tightens around his thick arms
as he lowers the glass to the table.
Hardly an innocent visit, I presume?
His eyes flare, dropping briefly to my
chest before dragging back to my face. His
lips curve into a mischievous smirk. Is anything I do innocent?
Marveling over my burning cheeks and
how quickly he made them flush, I reply,
Never.
He holds me in his stare and suddenly my
mouth is dry. I swallow hard and his dark
eyes drop to my throat. The way he stares at
me, like he wants to take me right now,

363/723

sends a myriad of heat through my body and

it pulses everywhere. I quickly run my
tongue over my lips to moisten them. I need
to do somethinganythingto quench my
desire for him and to stop myself from diving
over the table and running my mouth over
him. He looks at my lips with such fierce,
erotic intensity before finally looking me in
the eyes.
Lets get out of here.
Theres no question to his words. He
wants to get out of here, now. Dropping my
fork against my bowl with a cling, I nod my
head. Who needs dinner when I have dessert
waiting for me? Seth rushes to his feet in a
hurry, pulling cash from his back pocket and
dropping it on the table. As I push my seat
back, a tall, beautiful girl in a gorgeous red
gown floats graciously toward our table. Her
eyes are on me first and I look at Seth, whos
watching me with a questioning gleam in his
eye. I arch an eyebrow. Strange that he

364/723

thinks shes here for me, I havent made any

friends in California and Selena is my only
real girl friend, anyway. I give him a Shes
not mine shake of the head and look back to
the girl, whos closed the distance between
her and the table. Once shes here, her gaze
shifts to Seth and Im no longer worthy of
her attention. I take in her tight red dress. It
clings to the subtle curves of her body and I
hate that it looks so fucking good on her.
Seth! she cheers, stepping forward and
wrapping her arms around his neck. I cant
believe it, its been so long!
I watch, curiously, as his body goes rigid
and he places a hand on the small of her
back, returning the hugsort of. When she
pulls back, he seems almost frustrated.
Dont tell me you dont remember me?
He glances at me, his facial expression
melting from annoyed to worried. Theres a
bubble in my chestjealousy? I think so. Im
mad, but I dont want him to know it.

365/723

Frustration burrows in under my ribs and I

shuffle back in my seat. I forgot that Seth has
a myriad of lady followersI remember the
ones that came for him in the gym clearly.
No, sorry.
She shifts her weight, planting a manicured hand firmly on her hip. Jesse? We
hung out at the Newport beach party last
year. The way she says hung makes me
sick. I really hope she stops sparing my feelingsbesides, how old is she?
How old are you? I blurt out, leaning
forward in my chair.
Seths stare flicks to me, warning clear in
his eyes. Im not implying Seth would voluntarily have sex with someone under the legal
limit, but theres no way this girl is older
than seventeen.
Twenty-six.
I clench my teeth to prevent my mouth
from falling open. Twenty-six? How is she
older than both Seth and I? Her face is doll-

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like and she has a mass of golden curls that

are tied into a classy bun. She has high cheek
bones and huge blue eyes. Seventeen. I swear
to god shes seventeen.
Anyway She exhales, turning her attention back to Seth. How long will you be
in California?
Not long He glances sideways at me.
Maybe we should have this conversation
somewhere else.
The red-lipped smile that spreads over her
face makes me sick. As she steps past him, he
turns to me. Ill be right back. Stay here.
Im glaring at him, I can feel it. With a
clenched jaw, Seth turns and follows the girl
somewhere. When they disappear from
sight, I slump into myself.
I tap my fingers along the white tablecloth
for what feels like my fourth hour. I pull my
phone from my handbag. Its only been eleven minutes. I sigh, dropping it back inside
and placing my bag on the table. What the

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hell is this? Were having dinner one minute

and about to go home and tear into each other. The next, hes gone with a girl hes fucked
and Im alone at the table. Thats not okay,
right? Shit. I dont know. I dont know whats
acceptable and what isnt! Why couldnt he
tell her to go? Why couldnt he tell her we
were leaving? Why am I so pissed off? I can
feel it poisoning my mood.
As soon as that thought passes, Seth appears back at the edge of the table. Ready to
go?
Without a word, I grab my bag and rise to
my feet. I keep my eyes on the floor as we
leave the restaurant. When we reach the car,
he opens the door for me and I climb in.
When he slips into the drivers seat and shuts
his door, my brain sends words shooting
from my mouth before getting my tongues
approval.

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Did you have sex with her last time you

were here? Im proud of the indifference in
my voice.
Yes. Not one second of hesitation on his
part and I dont know whether I should be
disturbed or proud of his honesty. Are you
mad?
I ponder the question, raking my teeth
over my bottom lip, nervously. I dont
knowis it always going to be like this?
He doesnt answer and I take it as a big fat
yes.
Olivia, I told you that this part of my life
was complicated. Its not complicated with
drama and dark secrets. Its complicated
with girls and their partners who want to
kick my ass. I want to tell you that it wont
happen again, but thatd be a lie. He exhales. Im not goodand I dont have any
emotional back story thatll make you sympathize with my behavior. I like sexlove
sexI love the way it feels. Plain and simple.

369/723

Im bad, I told you thatand you still wanted

me.
Hes right, I know that, but things were
different before I fell in love with him. Back
then, I only wanted fun. I only wanted to get
back at Blade, but now, I want to be with
Seth for the rest of my life. I want to be
proud of himI dont want to feel sick every
time a girl talks to him because theyve
fucked. Its not a nice feeling.
I dont want to fight, just take us home, I
tell him, leaning back against the headrest
and shutting my eyes against a headache that
threatens to form. I know hes going to try
and sort this out before we sleep and I hope
we can. I dont want our time to be ruined
because of this.
Id like to say Im happy with my own
thoughts, but at this moment, my thoughts
suck. I keep picturing the two of them having
sexher golden hair flowing everywhere, his

370/723

strong hands gripping her hips as he thrusts

into her.
I open my eyes, desperate to get away
from the mental visions.
Enjoy the silence while you can, he
grumbles. Because were talking as soon as
we get back.
I look out the window as dread fills my
stomach. Talks with Seth are always intensehe doesnt believe in sulking and ignoring the issue. He faces things head on and
doesnt stop until a conclusion is made. I
dont know whether I like that approachor
absolutely loathe it. Either way, it was going
to happen.

Chapter Thirteen
Seth
She drops onto the bed and kicks off her
shoes while I lean against the wall with my
arms crossed firmly over my chest. I watch
as she reaches up to pull the big hoops from
her ears and one after the other, she tosses
them onto the mahogany bedside table. Shes
preparing for bed, but theres no way in hell
Im letting her go to sleep yet, not until I
break down every thought she has and

372/723

reassure her that she is all I want. Ill replenish whatever love she lost for me tonight and
then someI wont take anything less than
one hundred and fifty percent.
Tell me the three little words I said to you
in Boston.
She shakes her head. I know she doesnt
want to get into this now, but Im not giving
her a choice.
Seth
Tell me, I demand, stepping forward. I
want to hear you say it.
I love you, she mumbles.
Easy enough.
Now ask me how many girls Ive said it
to, besides you.
Olivia sighs, her attitude suddenly radiating off of her in waves. I dont want to
Ask me. My voice comes out a lot more
aggressive than I intended, but it startles her
enough to answer me.
How many? she snaps.

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None.
She looks up at me and the sight of her
face is almost enough to make me falter and
forget the whole situation. But you already
knew that, so why are you upset?
She glances down at her hands.
Because
Because a girl I had sex with in the past
approached us at dinner? Because I walked
her away from the table because I could see
how much she was upsetting you? I unfold
my arms. I couldnt give two shits about
that girl and it hurts that you think she
means anything to me. I quickly rake my
fingers through my hair. I need her to believe
that the girl wasisnothing to me. She
was as much a stranger to me as she was to
you.
I approach the bed and drop to my knees
in front of her. Her body is tense, waiting for
me to do something. I glide my hands up her
smooth calves and up the sides of her thighs.

374/723

Her gorgeous green eyes lock onto mine and

the intensity of it makes my heart speed up.
What more can I say? Did I have sex with
that girl? Yes, twice, but I can tell you with
one hundred percent honesty that I dont
even remember how the sex wasI dont remember my sex life before you anymore. I
dont. You are my resolution, O. You are the
person Im here withthe person I choose to
be here with. I grip her, pulling her closer to
me. I love you. I fucking love you more than
youll ever know and I know tonight hurt
you, but I swear to God Ill spend the rest of
my life making it up to you.
Her eyes flick between mine as she soaks
in what I said.
I cant even tell you her name, I add,
sincerely. But I can tell you your name. I
feel my lips twitch. I can tell you your favorite color, favorite food, favorite book and
your favorite brand of perfume. I can download your favorite song right now and not

375/723

think twice about it. I know you like Ive never known anyone else. I inch closer, bringing my face to hers. If I could go back and
change things, I would, without a doubt. But
I cant. So, all Im asking is for you to trust
me. I could never and would never hurt you
like that. Ever. Youre good and you deserve
good. I know Im far from it, but what I am is
all I have to offer you. If you want me, you
get everythingmy problems, my passions,
my pasteverything.
I dont need a response from her to know
shes happy with what I said and I get the reaction I want from the feel of her fingertips
grazing up my arms.
Olivia is the kind of person that shuts off
whenever shes upset. She wont touch or
talk. She prefers solitude, to wallow in her
own thoughts. Fuck that. The thought of
leaving her alone for a second when shes upset kills me and its even worse when I know
Im the one who made her upset in the first

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place. Theres no filter on my mouth or my

actions. I do it and watch the chemicals react. Its a science experiment, really.
Os fingers curl around my collar and she
pulls me onto the bed. I willingly follow, neglecting to kick off my shoes. Her soft, alluring body molds perfectly to mine, and I love
how soft and feminine she is. I lower my
mouth to hers and I can feel her breath quick
and nervous on my face, but before I touch, I
tell her: I fucking love you with everything I
haveand I wont take anything less from
you.
And I love you.
I run my hand over the top of her head,
smoothing the dark locks as I look her in the
eyes. Tell me how much you love me.
I want to hear it. I want her to use ridiculous metaphors and lame lines. I need it. I
need to be reassured because I will not fucking lose her, not tonight.

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Her gaze flicks nervously over my face. I

cant
I feel my eyebrows draw together. Why?
Because there are no words that describe
what I feel for you. She swallows hard. I
can tell you I love you to the moon and back,
but as far as Im concerned, its not enough. I
can tell you I love you to the next universe
and back and the distance still isnt enough
to describe how I feel. I love you. I love you
more than any word, any object, any emotion
and any measure of distance this life can
ever depict.
Olivias wide green eyes remain locked on
mine and she clears her throat. I overreacted The corner of her delicious mouth
twitches. Maybe, but its only because I love
you and youre mine.
I agree. I am yours.
Lines carve their way through her otherwise smooth face, like she wants to get

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something off her chest. I dont want other

girls touching you.
She catches her plump bottom lip between
her teeth and releases it, lighting my body up
like a goddamn Christmas tree. Olivia has always played indifferent when it comes to
girls until now and the thought of her claiming me sets my body alight with fiery passion. She hitches her thigh over my hip,
pressing me into her.
I dont like hearing your name on other
girls lips. Her fingers snake around my collar and she draws my head closer until her
lips graze my ear. Your name coming out in
excited gasps should only fall from my lips
and the lips of your spectators, not random
girls in restaurants.
Her tone is aggressive and possessivea
tone I never thought Id hear come from my
sweet do what shes told Olivia. I want to
unbutton my shirt so I can breathe a little
easier, but I wait and watch, looking forward

379/723

to what shes going to say next. Her eyes narrow. You will not disappear with another
girl ever again. Even if Im crying and my
chest is hiccupping with sobs, you will not
fucking leave me.
I open my mouth to agree with anything
she wants, but she yanks on my neck, stopping my words from forming and pulling my
lips hard against her own. Her hands push
hard against my chest and I let her roll me
over onto my back. She straddles me, her
warm center hovering directly over my
length that presses hard against my slacks. I
can feel her warmth radiating through the
fabric, teasing me. Her tongue glides against
mine and this kiss isnt like our usual
kissesthe kind of kisses where I lead. Shes
claiming me, telling me exactly how things
are going to go and I cant be more obliging.
Hell, Ill agree to anything she wants me to
do if it means her taking control of me like
this every time.

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Her hand runs down my stomach before

slipping between our bodies and pressing her
palm right against my hard dick. I could
make you forget where you areforget your
name and forget her with one swipe of my
tongue. Her finger twitches against my cock
and I subtly flex my hips into her hand. Shes
never put her mouth on my cock before. Ive
thought about it a million times and Ive
wanted her to, but Ive never pushed for it.
But Id much rather you sit and stew, blaming her for not getting any tonight.
Olivia slips off me and I abruptly push
myself onto my elbows. My head spins as
oxygen floods into my lungs, neglecting my
brain. Her fingers trail up the side of her
body before curling around the zipper and
dragging it down the length of her torso. As
the zipper nears the end, the dress falls from
her, pooling at her high, glassy heels. Words
fail me at the sight of her and all of her fucking naked perfection as my eyes drag down

381/723

her pretty face, over her slim shoulders and

linger on her perfectly round breasts. I stare
for a few seconds as she stands there, letting
me take in her whole form. My stare finally
leaves her breasts before making their descent down her smooth navel and onto the
bare slit between the gap in her thighs. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I close my eyes briefly
in an attempt to prevent a premature accident. She doesnt have to touch me and Im
all ready to go. I want her to stroke herself
while I touch myselfand I want her to do it
in those heels. She twirls and strolls toward
the bathroom. I shoot up to a seated position. Where does she think shes going?
She turns back to me, shielding her body
with the bathroom door. Im going to
shower and then Im going to bed.
Bed? Now? After she brought me to the
edge? I dont think so. I launch myself off the
bed, ready to join her in the shower, but she

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shakes her head, stopping me on my war

path to ecstasy.
No.
No? I cant believe it. When has she ever
said no to me? Is it possible to scowl with a
smile? Im pretty sure thats what Im doing.
Youre sadistic.
With a flick of her eyebrows, she closes
the bathroom door, leaving me alone in the
bedroom. I stare at the chocolate panels of
the door, my fingers itching to reach out and
twist the gold door handle. If I hadnt pissed
her off tonight, Id kick the door down and
show her exactly whos in control here, but
since Im already the bad guy, Ill leave it. I
hurt her, so she can be in control for the
night and only this once. I sigh, turning on
my heel and exiting the bedroom. Its going
to be a long fucking night.
***

383/723

I kick my shoes off behind the couch and

trot up the stairs. Ive been outside on the
balcony in the warm salty air for over forty
minutes. I only planned to be out here while
Olivia was in the shower, but I got to thinking and I couldnt stop. Tonight shouldnt
have happened. Ive never been ashamed of
my past. Ive never stopped and reflected on
all of the decisions Ive made, or at least I
hadnt until they started coming back to bite
me in the ass one after the other. I knew
theyd come back on me, thats how karma
works, but at the time I didnt care. The various emotions that flicker over her face when
something like this happenssadness, distaste, jealousyall of them, they twist my
stomach into knots and I feel unworthy of
her. Dad always told me that I destroy every
good thing I get. Was I destroying Olivia? If
this keeps happening, will it change her?
Will she care less for me?

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I need to marry her so she cant leave

meIm not trying to trap her, I just want
the proof that she will be beside me
foreverthat she wants to be a part of my
existence.
Olivia is the one thing I know my Dad
wouldve approved of. He wasnt there for
me and when I think of him, the word love
doesnt exactly spring to mindbut I still
wanted him to be proud of me. What son
doesnt want to make his father proud?
I push open the bedroom door and my
eyes scan the semi-dark room. I dont know
what I expected to finda naked, horny
Olivia perhaps? Shes dimmed the lights and
dimmed lights are always a good sign. I close
the door behind me and as it clicks, I hear
the sheets ruffle. In amongst the mass of royal blue sheets and pillows, I see a small foot
sticking out over the edge of the bed and I
smile to myself. She actually went to sleep.
She put me in my place and then fell asleep

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without another wordstrangely, Im proud

of her.
Her stubbornness is what drew me to her
in the first place, I suppose. She knows when
to contest me and when to surrender. Its like
she has a radar for when I need to be put in
my place and when I need to be in controlsure, shes mixed the two up a few
times, but usually, shes right on the money.
Button after button, I undo my shirt and
throw it to the floor. I drop my slacks and replace them with a pair of loose sweatpants
from my suitcase thats awkwardly strewn
across the room. As I crawl across the bed,
her clean, fresh scent hits me like a ton of
bricks and I realize Ive frozen in my spot.
Her smell flows through me and I close my
eyes as it filters through every pore and sets
fire to my blood. Forcing myself to move
again, I pull back the sheets on my side and
slip in. Olivia is facing me, her hand tucked
adorably under her chin and her body

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clothed in a thin, grey nighty thats pulled up

over her hips, exposing the tiniest pair of
white lace panties Ive ever seen. In the dim
light, I cant make out the exact tone of her
skin, but I know its all a slight shade of pink.
I smile, recalling the forty minutes I laid next
to her on the beach. I had my sunglasses on
so to passersby, we were both sleeping, but
in reality, I was watching her. I memorized
every inch of exposed skin, creating maps in
my headmaps I plan to follow with my lips.
I inch closer to her, keeping my eyes on
her peaceful face. Without thought, my hand
reaches out and I brush my fingertips over
her outer thigh and over the thin, white material of her underwear. The very tips of my
fingers seem to heat up as our skin connects
and I continued my ascent, gliding my tips
over her hip. Her lips part and she expels a
warm breath of air, sending a pleasurable
chill through my body that forces my hair to
stand on its ends as goosebumps erupt over

387/723

my skin. I cant help but imagine the sound

right by my ear as I pleasure her. I drag my
finger over the edge of her hip and across her
stomach. With another breath, she rolls onto
her back. I wait for a little while, not wanting
to wake her, and when Im positive she
wont, I continue to let my fingertips roam.
Before long Im stroking the hem of her underwear. Despite being on her back, shes
still facing me and I can hear her heavy
breaths of anticipation. Even in her sleep she
wants me to touch her. I know I should just
leave her and let her sleep, but the pull she
has on me is unstoppable. I slide my fingers
over the outside of her lace panties, avoiding
her sweet spot, to caress the insides of her
thighs. I hear her breath catch in her throat
as the edge of my finger grazes her center
and she minutely thrusts her hips. Her leg
inches closer as she spreads her legs a little
wider. I keep my eyes on her face and her
parted lips as I slide the very tip of my finger

388/723

under the edge of her underwear. Her skin is

soft and unbelievably smooth and as I slip
my finger between her moist creases, she
moans and it sends electricity crackling
through my body. She spreads her legs even
wider and I push my index finger inside. Her
walls tighten around me, almost sending me
over the edge and my dick hasnt even
touched her yet. Forget touching, Im all
about tasting. I push myself on top of her,
taking extra care not to wake her. I lower
myself until my face is directly between her
thighs and right over the honey pot I so desperately want to taste. Her sweet scent overwhelms me, sending my senses into a frenzy.
My cock aches from digging so hard into the
mattress and I shift my hips to alleviate some
of the pressure.
I pull her panties to the side and I admire
her perfection in the dim lighting before
parting her with my tongue. As soon as my
tongue touches her hot flesh, she inhales

389/723

sharply, her hips flexing into my mouth and

forcing my tongue harder against her clit. I
swirl my tongue, slowly at first, and her back
begins to arch as her breathing becomes
heavy enough for me to hear. The sound
spurs me on and I lick faster and harder, until shes moaning and gripping the sheets.
Heat, white-hot heat tears through my veins
and I want to fuck her sweet pussybut I
cant. This is about making it up to her and
Ill gladly give myself a severe case of blue
balls if it means making her happy.
I stop swirling my tongue against her delicious bundle of nerves and trace my tongue
down her center and across her hole. Olivia
shivers as my tongue sends feelings through
her sleeping body. I hear the sheet strain under the pull of her hands as she tugs at it and
I switch back to massaging her clit. An unintentional groan releases itself from my throat
as I rub the back of my hand along her inner
thigh before slipping the tip of my finger

390/723

inside her. Olivia releases the sheets and I

look up to see her lift her shirt and expose
her breasts as she gropes herself, pinching
and rolling her nipples between her fingers.
Fucking.
Hell.
I move my finger in and out, slowly at
first, until her hands fall from her tits and
rake through my hair, urging my lips harder
against her body as her legs hook over my
shoulders. I glance up at her and see her still
in a dreaming state. I drop my attention back
to what Im doing, focusing on getting her
exactly where I want her to be.
Mmmm
My eyes flick back to Olivias face and lock
onto her wide green eyes. Even in the dim
lighting, I can see her cheeks flushed with
her arousal. Her body shakes under the
thrust of my finger and the quick, rough
lashing of my tongue. I know she loves my

391/723

fingers, so I add another and the effect of it

has her rocking her hips into me.
Yes, she pants, closing her eyes. Oh,
fuck yes.
I feel her walls begin to tighten as she
nears orgasm. The feel of it has me finger
fucking her harder and faster. If she gets any
tighter, I wont be able to move my fingers at
all. I curl my fingers up and Olivias legs
draw nearer, threatening to crush my head
between her thighs. I almost smile at the
thought of making her come and catch her
clit between my teeth, biting down on it ever
so softly.
Seth! she groans, her chest rising and
falling quickly. Dont stop
Im not going to. As I slip in a third finger,
Olivias hips jerk upwards as loud moans
tear from her lips. Oh! Oh, God, fuck!
Her thighs crush my head, but its not
enough to keep me from pounding her with
my fingers.

392/723

Yes! Ohhh! Seth! Her walls spasm

around my fingers and her pussy makes a
slushing sound as they slide in and out.
Sweet juices trickle from her, coating my finger and my tongue. Her body twitches as the
effects of her orgasm wear off, leaving
everything in a hypersensitive daze. I remove
my fingers and run my tongue over her sweet
spot one last time, making her body quiver
and her chest heave with a satisfied giggle.
I slide my body up hers, pressing my
hardness into her soft core and she squeezes
my hips between her thighs. Excitement
flares in the depths of her eyes as I kiss the
very tip of her nose and roll off her. I close
my eyes briefly, hoping the pulsating tightness in my pants wears off. Olivia sighs,
slowly rolling her body my way and tucking
herself into my side. Her fingers trail down
my chest along my stomach before dancing
along the hemline. Im still hard, still

393/723

wanting to bury myself inside her, but I

wont. Not tonight.
I want to be inside her, but I think being
selfless and giving her something without receiving anything in return is the best move I
can make tonight, in terms of our relationship. She needs to know its not all about sex
with me. I love her more than sex, and not
having sex with her tonight will (hopefully)
show her that Im capable of giving without
taking back. I pull her right into me, nestling
my chin on top of her damp, strawberry
scented hair.
As her hand curls underneath the band of
my pants and swipes the tip of my cock, I
snatch her wrist and pull it back. I feel her
smile against my skin and I picture her perfect lips curl vividly in my head. So beautiful.
You dont want to?
Oh, I want to. I press the palm of her
hand against the hard bulge in my pants and

394/723

grit my teeth against the urge to make her

stroke it. But Im not going to. Not tonight.
Her fingers twitch against me and I close
my eyes, swallowing the mass of saliva that
floods my mouth as the taste of Olivia
lingers.
Not tonight, I say again, more as a reminder to myself than Olivia.
She yawns, pulling her hand back and
slinging it around my waist. Who knows,
maybe Ill wake you up with a nice surprise.
I laugh once. Dont. When you do it, I
want to be wide awake from start to finish
with the lights as bright as they can be. I
dont want to miss a second of it.
She chuckles sleepily, snuggling closer.
Do you want to film it, too?
Can I? I ask, a little too excited than I
should have been.
Olivia swats my chest. I was being sarcastic. No, you cant film it.
Well see.

395/723

I can picture her rolling her eyes and I

squeeze her a little tighter. Goodnight.
It is now.
I fall asleep soon after with the love of my
life in my arms and the sweetest taste in the
world on my tongue.

Chapter Fourteen
Olivia
(T-minus one day until Las Vegas)
I was alone on the way back to Portlandor at least I might have well as been.
Seth slept the whole way after taking a sleeping pill or two because he was feeling particularly anxious about the plane ride with all of
the dark clouds hanging around.

397/723

I had to drive us to the airport and try and

keep him awake until we got on the plane.
Its not easy bearing the weight of his large
frame, Ill tell you that. In the end, I had him
leaning against a pole as I read stupid, unfunny jokes and articles from a Males Humor magazine I found on a table nearby. The
amount of strange glances we received was
ridiculous and SethI laugh once under my
breath as Seths sleepy smile fills my
mindhes such a goofball sometimes. It was
funny trying to watch him string together
complete sentences. He zoned out that many
times and ignored that many people I was
worried they werent going to let us on the
plane. Eventually, they did and Seth was
down for the count before the pilot had addressed the passengers. I had to clip his seatbelt on and make up a story about him being
unwell to the concerned stewardess, who I
think wanted Seth to wake up just so she
could talk to him. It was allamusing, to say

398/723

the least. On the plus side, a sleeping Seth

meant I could have my blind up and watch as
we soared through the clouds.
Thankfully, Seths car was still there when
we got back into Portland, and I was the
lucky designated driver again.
Whats the plan for the rest of the day?
Seth yawns, still tired.
I glance sideways at him as he tugs his
black hoodie up over his head and rests
against the window. I dont know why hes
wearing a hoodie. The weather in Portland is
warm and stickyits anti-hoodie weather,
really.
We dont have any plans.
Good. I think I might sleep this off.
I glance at him again. Its only nine a.m.
and you want to spend the whole day in bed?
Im assuming its not the fun kind of all day
in bed, either?
I can make it fun. I swear I hear him
smile. After a few hours rest.

399/723

I pout. Maybe I can read while Seth

sleeps, that might be fun. I havent read in a
while and Ive been dying to finish my latest
historical romance novel, Loves Curse.
I pull into Seths driveway and slip from
the drivers seat. I love driving Seths caron
the rare occasion that Im allowed to drive it,
that is. Its big compared to my blue Mazda 6
sitting outside Seths house, but I love it so
much more.
I lock the car and hand him his keys when
he steps around to meet me on the other
side. I glance down the quiet street, thankfully, Jackson isnt here and Seth and I might
just have some absolute peace and quiet to
wind down after our trip. Before we walk towards his house, Seth checks his mailbox
and pulls out two white letters. One, he stuffs
back in, but the other, he opens.
Apparently, we have a dinner to go to in
Vegas. Formal dress. He looks up at me,

400/723

pulling the hood off his head and exposing

his messy dark hair. I hate formal wear.
Formal dress? I ask, ignoring his complaint. I wrack my brain, desperately trying
to remember if I have a dress remotely nice
enough for an event like that. Crap.
Were leaving for Vegas tomorrow, I tell
him. Im have to go dress shopping today.
Today? You cant go tomorrow?
I shake my head. I need as much time as
I can get. It has to be perfect.
Im already backing away from Seth towards to my car and dialing Selenas number
in my head.
Wait, at least take my card. He reaches
for his back pocket and I feel my eyes go
wide.
Im appalled that hed reach into his wallet for me. Hes spent enough money this
weekendplane rides, hotels, meals, carsI
cant fathom him spending another cent on
me. I stuff my hands into the pocket of my

401/723

jeans as he pulls the black and gold card

from his wallet, extending it to me.
Im not taking that.
He shakes his head, like Im being stupid.
Why? I dont want you spending your
money on a dress youre only going to wear
once.
Im not taking your card. Im a big girl, I
can take care of myself.
He steps forward. I step back and he exhales. Not this again, Olivia. Take the card.
I whirl around on my heel and unlock my
car with my spare key. Thank God I put it in
my back pocket before we left California. Ill
see you later.
I duck down as I open the door. As quickly
as I ducked, I pop back up, meeting Seths
disapproval head on. Thanks for California.
Love you.
I dive into my car, start it up for the first
time in a few days, and drive towards Annies
Formal Wear. Its the only dress shop I know

402/723

that will definitely have something breathtaking for me. I see the gowns in the window
every time I drive past on my way to work in
the morning. I dial Selenas number and
bring the phone to my ear.
Hey you! Are you back? she answers.
Yep, meet me at Annies Formal Wear in
fifteen. We need dresses for a formal dinner
in Vegas.
Jackson and I are already sorted for that,
but Ill meet you there, anyway. I dont want
you picking a dress Id approve of in the
nineties.
I roll my eyes. Fifteen minutes or Im
shopping without you.
I drop my phone into a cup holder and
speed towards the dress shop. I cant contain
my excitement. It bubbles in my chest and I
clench my hands tighter around the steering
wheel. Forget clubs and tight small dresses.
Elegant gowns and formal dinners are what
Im all about. Those are worth wasting a

403/723

night for and I need to find the perfect

dressthe kind of dress that will knock
Seths socks off and have everyone at the dinner eating out of the palm of his hand.
***
I meet Selena in the convenience store
across the road from the dress shop. I take
one look at her tight black dress and tall,
gold heels and glance down at my jeans and
tee. At least I dont look like a hooker.
How much? I ask, approaching her with
a wide smile.
She smiles back and her bright green eyes
flare at me. Free for you, baby.
I wrap my arms around her slim frame,
pulling her tightly against me. Its been so
long since Ive hung out with her, just the
two of us. It doesnt mean anything when
youre giving it out to everyone for free,
anyway.

404/723

She squeezes me and the sweet smell of

her candy perfume engulfs me. Hey, Im
just trying to make you feel better about
yourself.
I swat her away and she giggles, exposing
her perfect teeth. Before we go across, I
want to get some snacks.
Snacks? Were going dress shopping, not
seeing a movie.
Hey, if Im going to be sitting around for
a while watching you try on dresses I probably wont approve of, Im going to need all
of the sustenance I can get.
With a heavy exhale, I follow her into the
convenience store. We walk around the shop
and every now and then, I catch Selena glancing at me like she really wants to tell me
something.
Do I have something on my face? I ask
her, rubbing my cheeks.
No.,

405/723

Then why are you staring at me? Its

awkward.
She stops walking while I look at little
packets of Tylenol. Theres a small throb at
the back of my skull and I know its going to
expand into a full blown headache within the
next hour or two.
I cant tell you. She complains, frustrated with herself.
I drag my eyes from the box of Tylenol to
her face. Why cant you
Okay, fine! She sighs. I let Jackson do
something to me.
I tuck the Tylenol under my arm as I
choke on a laugh. Geez, I didnt even finish
my question and youre ready to spill
everything. Remind me not to tell you anymore of my secrets. You suck at this interrogation thing.
She slaps my arm and folds her arms over
her chest. Id never repeat your secrets.
I narrow my eyes.

406/723

At least not the really important ones,

Selena clarifies with a satisfied nod of her
head.
Theyre all important, thats why theyre
secrets.
I think there are definitely different degrees of secrets. For example
Forget the examples, I demand, plucking the Tylenol from under my arm and giving it to her. Just tell me what you want to
tell me.
She blushes. I dont know if I should say.
I dont want you to think Im weird.
I snort, absentmindedly picking up a
small box and reading the back of it. As soon
as I read the first sentence Ribbed increases
her pleasure, I flip the box around and read
the front before stuffing it back on the shelf.
I feel blood rush to my cheeks as Selena
laughs her laughyou know, the head back
mouth wide open kind of laugh, the same
laugh that also draws unwanted attention. I

407/723

move erratically and end up knocking a

whole row of condoms off the shelf. Forgetting the mess, I grab Selenas arm and drag
her away. When we round the corner, she
shrugs out of my grasp. Relax, youre old
enough to buy condoms. Her eyes grow
wider with excitement. I know that look. Its
the same look she gets when shes ready to
gossip. Tell me, what size does Seth use?
Why are you so obsessed with my sex life
and what size condoms my boyfriend uses?
I whisper as an elderly woman strolls past.
I give her a kind smile, one she gracefully
returns. Thank God, she didnt hear me.
Because Im curious. I want to know. I
like sex and I like to talk about sex, and now
that you finally have a boyfriend I wouldnt
mind picturing naked, I want to know all of
the details. We stroll down another
aislethe confectionary aisleand Selena
grabs a long, skinny packet of Twizzlers. So,
what size?

408/723

I dont know, I mumble, avoiding her

face. We dont use them.
The Twizzlers fall to the ground and I
stare down at them before looking at
Selenas terrified face. Youd think she just
saw a ghost.
Are you fucking kidding me? You start
banging a hot guy and you throw all caution
to the wind? You know what comes from unprotected sex? Fucking babiescrying, pooing, eatingbabies. Not necessarily in that
order and sometimes all at once.
I laugh at her because theres nothing else
to do. Typical Selena, always blowing things
out of proportion.
Dont laugh, O. Im serious. Do not take
that unprotected sex shit lightlydid you
even hear what I said? Babies. B. A. B. I. E. S.
Screw that.
Selena never has been a baby person, but I
have. Ive always wanted kidshell, I even

409/723

expected to have at least one by the age of

twenty-three.
Im protected,. I say, picking up her lollies. She takes it from my hands and puts in
on the shelf. Apparently, shes lost her
appetite.
Yeah, and smoke alarms in houses actually prevent fires, she states sarcastically.
By the time youve woken up to a smoke
alarm, its too late. The fire has started and
the smoke is already filling the house. Dont
rely on the pill. Double up on protectionshit, triple up on protection. Make no
mistakes.
I roll my eyes and proceed down the aisle.
Anyway, I exhale. What did you let Jackson do to you?
With a huff, she drops the conversation
about Seth and I having unprotected sex.
Well, let me start off by saying that Im
not afraid to try anything and Im pretty
much DTF for anything.

410/723

DTF? What the hell does that mean? I roll

my eyes and Selena scoffs. Dont you judge
me, O. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. She continues with her story. Jackson
is into some weird things and last nightI let
him tie me down.
I stop walking. You let him tie you
down?
The old lady that passed by us earlier
walks by again, this time hearing my mini
outburst. I give her my best I really hope you
didnt hear that smile and she frowns at
Selena and I before shaking her head and
slowly strolling away.
Whyd you let him tie you down? Youre a
human being, for Christs sake, not an animal, I tell her in a harsh whisper.
Because I like him and he promised he
wouldnt hurt me.
Funny, thats what the serial killer said to
his victim in the last Law and Order episode
I watched.

411/723

She blinks at me.

Its a TV shonever mindthe girl was
found in a garbage bin. My point is I say.
Okay, so I dont actually have a point. You
can do whatever the hell you want with your
body.
I know I canand I do, but the thing
isit doesnt stop at tying down. I wish I
could tell you, O, but I promised him I
wouldnt say anything. It took him so long to
open up to me sexually and I dont want you
to repeat it to anyone.
Who am I going to tell? Mom? I laugh
once. Youre my only friend.
Okay, fine. I wont tell you everything, Ill
just tell you that hes into public sex.
That I knew already.
And he likes to hurt me.
I frown.
Only when we have sex, its not anything
over the top. He doesnt bruise me or cut me
or anything like that. Is that supposed to

412/723

make me feel better? He likes to slap me

on the ass really hard and sometimes with
things like belts or whips. He likes to bite me
and pinch me as well as pull my hair
Wait I interrupt. You just let him do
those things to you?
She shrugs. He needs it. He cantfinish,
unless something unusual is happening and I
want to be the person to help him.
What he needs is professional help.
Selenas brows pull together and her lips
straighten into an impassive line. He
doesnt need professional help, Olivia. He
needs someone who understands him.
Oops. I didnt mean to step on anyones
toes, but Jackson has definitely got some
deep seated issues.
Can you do that, though? I ask her
straight out. What if he wants things that
you cant give to him? What if you draw a
line and he wants to cross it?

413/723

She visibly thinks about my question. I

dont know
If you like it when Jackson does all of
these things to you, then fine, more power to
you. All Im saying is talk to him before you
give yourself over because his problems
probably go deeper and darker than what
hes showing you.
Selena opens her mouth to protest, but I
flash her the palm of my hand. I know he
doesnt like to talk, but youre compromising
for him. Make him compromise for you.
She thinks for a second, before slowly
nodding her head.
I sigh, hoping she talks to Jackson. I dont
want him taking advantage of Selenas carefree soul, especially now that shes falling for
him.
Now, lets go find a dress.
***

414/723

Were barely in the shop for five minutes

before my gaze falls onto a stunning deep
purple gown. It flows to the floor and has
two thin straps covered in exquisite beaded
patterns that come down and circle the
waist. Underneath the beaded waist, theres
a thin strip of purple lace that will expose a
thin strip of skin before the beaded pattern
starts again.
This.
This is the dress Ill wear to Seths dinner.
Its sexy. Its elegant and its perfect.
That is amazing! Selena coos. She
reaches out and pulls it off of the rack. Try it
on.
She shoves it into my hands and the
smooth satin fabric glides between my fingertips. Yep, this is definitely the dress Im
going to wear.
I dont need to try it on. I want it.
Selena stares at me, the same stare that
Seth gave me after I declined using his card.

415/723

Her stare doesnt make me excited like Seths

does, though. You have to try the dress on,
to make sure it fits.
Itll fit, I tell her, hugging the dress
closer to me.
She grabs my shoulder, her bony fingers
dig into me as she spins me around, nudging
me in the direction of the changing rooms.
Inside, the rooms are spacious. So spacious theres even a couch to sit on and
watch your friends get dressed. Thats not
weird at all. Of course, Selena has to sit and
watch me change. Once Im in the dress, I
feel different, and at risk of sounding like a
complete and utter loser, I feel like a princess. The dress exposes an appropriate portion of my breasts and clings to my waist and
hips before flowing smoothly down my legs
in an endless stream of purple perfection.
Seth will really like this. I smile, twirling
to look at the back. The back of the dress elegantly exposes my back.

416/723

He will. Who knows, maybe hell like it

enough not to tear it from your body.
My eyes flick to her and I feel my cheeks
grow red. Seth has a habit of tearing all of my
pretty things. No comment.
Selena falls back against the couch in defeat. Come on. Youre no fun! Tell me about
it. Tell me something about Seth and sex. I
bet hes good, is he good?
The store owner peers awkwardly around
the door and Selena smiles at her like nothing is wrong. The lady returns Selenas smile
with a glare, like were unworthy of being in
her store before huffing once and stalking
away. Selena rolls her eyes and continues
talking, unashamed. At least tell me one
thing he does that you like?
I proceed to unzip the dress. No, Sel, Im
not telling you anything. Youll repeat it to
Jackson and whoever else will listenprobably even my mom.
I wont, I promise.

417/723

I shake my head and Selena tries a different approach. An approach she knows will
get a reaction out of me.
Do you like it when he kisses your neck?
I step away from the mirror so she cant see
my emerging smile in the reflection. Maybe
you like it when his strong hands roam your
body, gripping you in all of the right places?
Selena, I warn her. Her words make me
breathless as I imagine all of the things she
says vividly in my head.
Or maybe you like it when he moans your
name She moans my name in her best
Seth voice and I grab the emerald dress that
hangs on the rack. I glance over my shoulder
and she smiles wickedly at me as my face
heats up. When he takes you roughly from
behind?
I turn and throw the dress at her and she
laughs wildly, balling the fabric. You are
such a dirty girl, O! Underneath that innocent face theres a sexual beast, isnt there?

418/723

I want to be mad at her for being so uncensored, but I cant. She has one of those
faceslike Sethsone you just cant bring
yourself to hate. As she giggles like an idiot, I
remove myself from the gown and get back
into my plain blue jeans and white tee.
Ill get this dress. Now, lets get the hell
out of here before you embarrass me
anymore.
I trot from the dressing room and pay for
my dress, all while Selena giggles behind me.
She cant stop. She loves tormenting me, she
always has, and the store owner doesnt appreciate me blurting out a laugh once or
twice as she rings my purchases up on the register. I think I even spat on her a couple of
times. Stupid Selena, its like high school all
over again. You know, when youre trying
desperately not to laugh, but end up cackling
like a psychopath? Yeah, this is one of those
moments and when she hands me my receipt, I cant get out of there quick enough.

419/723

After the dress shop, Selena went to see

Jackson and I went home. I figure Ill have
an easier time keeping myself from showing
Seth my dress if I dont see him straight
away. Strangely, Mom isnt home, so I go
straight to my room and hang my dress in
my closet. Boxes still litter the floor, along
with a ridiculous amount of clothes. Dirty or
clean, I have no idea. My phone rings and I
know its Seth because I set his walk in song
as his personal ringtone while we were in
California. I pull it from my pocket and bring
it to my ear, closing my wardrobe and leaning against it.
Hello?
He yawns his hello to me. Seriously? He
was sleeping the whole time I was out?
Somehow, I was gone for almost three hours.
Sleep well?
I would have if you were here. He sighs.
I slept okay. What are you doing?

420/723

I love when his voice is all husky from

sleep.
I just got home and put my dress away.
Im probably going to start packing for
Vegas.
Fun, he deadpans and I smile. Seth
hates packing more than I do and I know
hell leave his until the hour before we leave.
Im heading down to the gym. Darryl called
and wants to do a small training sesh this
afternoon.
Be careful. How are you feeling? I didnt
really take care of you too well in
California
You were perfect in California and Im
fine. I hardly feel a thing.
I believe him. The time we spent in California was both relaxing and liberatingwe
didnt have sex and Seth didnt get into any
fights, so his body had a good chance to recover. I know he wont miraculously heal
overnight, but hell be perfect by the time his

421/723

fight comes around in a little over two weeks.

Were all leaving for Vegas in two
daysSelena, Jackson, Darryl, Seth and
Iplus whatever staff the MMAC have assigned to Seth. From twelve a.m. the day of
our departure to Vegas will be exactly tminus two weeks until Seths first debut professional fight. He seems excited for it, but I
wish he expressed his feelings to menot the
cocky bullshit he uses to cover his worry.
Seth is confident in his skills, but I also know
he doubts himself more than anyone else I
know. Not that hed ever admit that.
Will I see you today? he asks, pulling me
from my thoughts.
You can see me anytime you want. I was
going to pack, but if you need me at the gym,
Ill be there.
No, I think I can managejust. He
laughs once under his breath. Pack your
bags and Ill call you later.
Okay.

422/723

I love you. His three little words make

me smile widely and I turn my body so I
dont see my cheesy smile in the mirror on
my dresser.
I love you, too.
He lingers on the line for a few seconds
longer before sighing and hanging up. I dont
know what goes through his head sometimes. I lob my phone onto my bed and place
my hands on my hips. I dont have to pull my
suitcase out from any hidden nookits
already open on the floor of my room. I step
toward it, lifting my feet higher than normal
so no tricky clothes wrap themselves around
my toes and trip me. I kneel beside the suitcase and run the palms of my hands down
my thighs, letting a heavy exhale fall from
me. Finally, I reach out and begin sorting
through the clothes as I pack for the biggest
adventure of my life.

Chapter Fifteen
Seth
I lean against my car, my hands stuffed into my jeans as I wait for Olivia. Portland is
surprisingly cold at four-thirty in the morning. Apparently, Darryl booked the earliest
flights he could get. Hes all about making
the most of his day and he doesnt want to
spend the bulk of it sitting in an airplane. By
my calculations, we get on the plane at fivethirty a.m. and well be in Nevada by eleven

424/723

a.m. Not bad, but its still too goddamn long

for me. Id much rather drive the two thousand, eight hundred and eighteen miles to
get there and avoid falling from the sky. Ive
been lucky so far, but how long can I dance
with death? One of these days, he and karma
might decide theyre sick of my shit and send
me plummeting into the ocean.
Im jerked from images of a falling, fiery
death by the sound of Olivias front door
opening and the screen slapping against the
brick wall. Seeing her immediately eases
some of my hesitation and I push off of the
car and make my way through the gate to
grab her suitcase for her. She looks adorable
in a white hooded jacket and black slacks.
Olivia smiles sleepily at me and I cant help
but smile back. Shes too pretty not to smile
at, even when shes mad.
Good morning, she greets me, making
my heart feel all stupid and warm.

425/723

Good morning, I reply, taking her suitcase and pushing it behind me.
Forgetting the luggage, I grab Olivias
jacket and tug her to me. Her sleepy face
wakes up the instant I press my body against
hers. I dont know why I always pull her into
mebut I feel better when Im touching her.
I feel at peace, like everything is okay. Her
green eyes study my face, watching me
closely. I want to kiss her. Im going to kiss
her. I lower my mouth to her, barely pressing
my lips against hers. I pause for a little while,
listening to her quick breathing. I love the
way I affect her and I know if I slipped my
hands into her pants, shed be wet and ready
for meshe always is. As I press my lips
harder against hers, her Mom, Sandra, trails
out behind her carrying a long black bag.
Dont forget your dress, Olivia. Morning,
Seth.
Olivia snaps away from me, like Im a hot
plate she absentmindedly put her hands on. I

426/723

smile, amused by her reaction. Olivia takes

the dress from her mother and briefly looks
at me, her pink cheeks flaring before she
takes the dress to the car. An awkward silence fills the air between Sandra and I. I
know Sandra isnt exactly my number one
fan, but I also know she likes me enough to
be with her daughter.
Im going to ask her to marry me, I tell
Sandra flat out, no bullshit.
Her thin, brown eyebrows almost rise to
her hairline, but she tries to play my announcement off as no big deal. Are you
now?
Yes, while were in Vegas. And Im going
to take her from this house and put her in
mine.
The corner of Sandras lips twitch, her
sludgy, green eyes narrowing in on me. I get
the feeling youre not asking for my
permission?

427/723

I shake my head. No, maam. Im telling

you how things are going to go.
She folds her arms. She looks so tiny in
her floral robe. Youre awfully confident
Olivia is going to say yes.
I am, I say and my stomach churns with
the lie. I dont know why I feel so much apprehension about her response. She loves
me. She tells me almost every day, but shes
also flighty and unpredictable. Theres a
chance shell say no or not yet and my mission in Vegas is to take away those chances.
When Im positive shell do anything for me,
Ill ask her and I wont ask her the traditional
way. No. Ill ask her the Seth way so she
never fucking forgets it.
Well, you have my approvaleven if you
dont want it.
Her words catch me off guard and Im
suddenly frozen, incapable of speech. Did
she just give me permission? Did Sandra
James give me, Seth Marc, her blessing? I

428/723

fight the urge to pinch myself to see if Im

dreaming.
Thank you.
She flicks her hand at me and I snatch it,
pulling her into a hug. Instead of swatting
me away like I expected, she chuckles and
quickly pats my back. When I release her and
she steps back, she swipes at her eyes and
turns her back to me.
Safe travels. Keep my baby safe.
Before I can respond, she enters the house
and shuts the door. I grab the suitcase and
turn toward the car, Olivia has the door open
and both she and Selena are staring at me,
their eyes bulging out of their skulls.
What? I ask as I open the gate and step
through it.
Nothing, they respond in unison.
I approach the rear of the car and put the
last suitcase inside. Olivia and Selenas suitcase takes up the most space, leaving just
enough room for the rest of us.

429/723

Thankfully, Jackson is in the front seat

and Selena is in the back. I swear to God if I
have to listen to one more make out session
or moan fall from either of their lips Im going to snap. I climb into the backseat and
Olivia immediately snuggles into me. I
havent seen her since I called her last. Ive
been so busy sorting out the gym for our
leave and dealing with lawyers I havent had
time to show her any attention.
On the plus side, my lawyers told me the
MMAC is reviewing the settlement details.
They refuse to let Don go, they want to draft
him at some point and this littlepredicament is the only thing stopping them.
Darryl drives towards the airport. I wrap
my arm around Olivias shoulder, pulling her
closer. I want to touch herto smell her. I
need anything and everything from her, to
make up for her absence.
You amaze me, Olivia mumbles, her
voice loud enough for only me to hear over

430/723

the sound of the soft music. I glance down at

her, taking in the sharp angles of her face
and her kind eyes and juicy, soft lips.
Me?
She nods without an explanation and I
dont press her. I can survive off those words
alone. Her eyes dont drop from mine and I
keep watching her, waiting for her to look
away. Instead, I feel a build up of electricity
starting in my chest and radiating south.
Suddenly, my surroundings fade away and
she holds all of my attention. I run my fingers up her neck and across her cheek to her
bottom lip. Her lips part, her tongue
emerges, and I watch as it licks the top of my
fingerso soft and wet. I cant help but wonder what her tongue feels like against other
parts of my anatomy and I shift slightly in
my seat, hoping to make my jeans feel
lesstight. My mouth runs dry and if it were
just us, Id pull over and moisten it with the

431/723

taste of her. Id let her soak every inch of fabric in the car with her delicious wetness.
I slip my finger from her mouth, but keep
my gaze locked on her lips. She straightens
her back, bringing her mouth closer to mine
and then she kisses me. Its slow and quiet,
going unnoticed by the other three. My eyes
close and I run the back of my finger along
her jawline. Then, I crack under my urges
and grip her jaw, forcing her mouth harder
against mine. I feel her breath being sucked
from her lungs and I swear I hear her heartbeat pick up and her pussy become slick with
need.
Easy now. I hear Selena giggle. My
makeup isnt water proof.
Olivia pulls away from me and rests
against my shoulder. I hear Jackson laugh in
the front seat and see the side of Darryls
face as he smiles. Neither is my phone.
Silence falls in the car for a split second
before its broken by laughterfrom all of us

432/723

and soon after, we dive into conversations

about Vegas and what we should do there.
Darryl is first to pipe in.
Were unavailable five hours a day, every
day, leading up to the fight. Thats two hours
in the morningfour a.m. to six a.m. One
hour during the day, eleven a.m. to twelve
p.m., and then four p.m. to six p.m. He
clears his throat. Outside of those times,
youre free to do whatever you likeexcept
all of the things youre not allowed to do like
drinking, or doing something stupid that can
put you at risk.
Strip clubs arent bad for you, Jackson
chimes in and I feel Olivia go rigid against
me.
I rake my teeth over my bottom lip, recalling the last time we went to a strip club. It
was such a stupid move on my part. Olivia
wanted to stay home, but I was the designated driver and I forced her to come out
with us. We all made a few bad decisions that

433/723

night and Olivia suffered the consequences

for all of them.
No strip clubs, Olivia orders. Im not
making out with a stripper again. It was disturbing enough the first time.
Jackson roars with laughter and I hear
him slap his thighs. Jesus Christ, that was
so funny. Every time I picture your face
when she kissed you, I laugh. You were a
deer in headlights.
Yes. Ha. Ha. Laugh it up.
I stroke Olivias arm with my thumb as
Selena speaks. Ive always wanted to go to a
strip club in Vegas. We have to.
Going to Vegas and not going to a strip
club is like going to Paris and not bothering
with the Eiffel Tower. Whats the point?
Jackson chimes in.
Selena agrees.
No one is stopping you guys from going,
but dont expect me to tag along, Olivia
states, yawning.

434/723

The car fills with lively chatter about all of

Vegass endless possibilities and all I can
think about is snuggling with Olivia in my
spare time. Fuck the casinos. Fuck the strip
clubs. I want to lie in bed with my girl and
enjoy every second I can because the closer I
get to my first pro fight, the more unnerved I
know Ill become. Im two weeks out and I
already feel anxiousmy first pro fightin
Las Vegas, Nevada, at the MGM Grand in
front of thousands of spectators as well as
being broadcasted across the sports network.
I need my head in the game, not in some
strippers breasts or in a poker machine.
Im not in Las Vegas for pleasure. Its
business only and I will treat it as such.
***
We drive along Las Vegas Boulevard, but
Im still too nervous from the plane ride to
really appreciate it. I rest my head against

435/723

the headrest while Olivia and Selena stick

their heads out of the limo sunroof like little
puppies. I almost smile. I was the same the
first time I rode in a limo. Its hot in Nevada
and the open sunroof doesnt allow for the
air conditioning to work to its full potential.
Shutting the roof! Darryl calls through
the front window, as if reading my mind.
Darryl decided hell drive the limo, not
trusting anyone else to chauffeur his precious cargo around. Heres an unknown fact
about Darryl, he has a license to drive a bus,
a car, a limo, and a truck. How many of them
fall under the same license category, I have
no idea, but its still impressive.
Selena and Olivia drop down, nestling
comfortably in their seats with a remaining
fit of giggles shaking their bodies. Their faces
are flushed with the outside heat and as soon
as the roof closes, I feel the cooler air brush
over my skin.

436/723

I watch as Olivia slides across the leather

seats and right into me. My eyes flit to her
nice sky blue blouse. It clings to her slim
waist and hips, exposing a small portion of
her cleavage, too. The fabric is thin and I
know I can easily ruin it with my teeth. She
removed her jacket a long time ago and Ive
had the pleasure of carrying it around with
me.
During the day, Vegas is still surprisingly
busy, filled with the tourists who want to
avoid Vegass nightlife. I dont blame them.
The nightlife here in Vegas can get pretty
wild. Everyone is looking to make their own
Hangover story and to indulge in all of the
citys darkest pleasures.
We slowly make our way up Las Vegas
Boulevard and soon enough, we arrive at the
MGM Grand. The others waste no time in
clambering excitedly from the car, but I wait
a little while to gather my thoughts. Olivia
waits too, watching me curiously.

437/723

You made it to Vegas, she tells me and I

look at her.
She tucks a lock of long, chocolate hair behind her ear and her lips curve with the hint
of a smile. Im proud of you.
Her long, soft fingers slide over the back
of my hand that lies idly in my lap. I dont
know why I feel so out of it. My chest aches
and the warmer air makes it harder for me to
breathe. This is the beginning of my new
lifethe life I never really expected to have. I
made it through hard work and dedicationso why do I suddenly feel like Im not
strong enough to be here? The feeling of impending failure is weighing down on me and
I cant shake it and I havent been able to
since I fell asleep last night. I guess I always
expected this to fall to pieces. Every good
thing I get never works out and Im cautious
as to why this is all still happening for me.
Youre dead weight, Dads voice rings
throughout my mind.

438/723

I remember laughing at him. Im not

dead weight. Im a fucking balloona soaring fucking plane and Im never coming
down.
Balloons may fly high, but after a certain limit they pop and planes have to land
sometime. They both have their needs and
limitations, just like you. You could have
said bird, they dont need much sustenance
and they dont fly too high, but you had to
go and put yourself thousands and thousands of feet above everyone else. That says
a lot about you, your personality and your
temperament. You always have to be number one. You always put your wants and
needs before anyone elses, and you always
have to be in controlI feel sorry for you,
Seth.
I swallow. Would it have killed him to say
that hes proud of me on a regular basis?
Shit, he didnt even have to tell me he was
proud of me, actually disciplining me and

439/723

giving me proper advice on what to do and

what not to do would have sufficed. Yes, I
fucked up a lot with school and girls. Yes, I
dropped out of college and refused to get a
normal job. I probably drank way too much
and started way too many fights, but I was
only a kid. Isnt that what kids do?
This year has done nothing but inflate
mewhy havent I popped yet? Why havent
I landed for fuel? Im getting dangerously
close to the sun with no sign of bursting. My
fuel is redlining, but my engines are running
just fine on the fumes.
And Im sure your dad is proud of you as
well, Olivia adds with a smile.
And then it hits me. I havent popped or
crashed and burned yet because of her. She
has been keeping me up. If it wasnt for her,
Id have flaked on my first fight in the amateur
tournament
against
Frederick
KennedyI was about to throw in the towel,
but she helped me. She came into my room

440/723

and touched me. She didnt have to. I did

nothing but treat her like shit prior to
thatonly seeking to get one thing from her.
She let me inshe saw something in me and
let me into her life. The other night Jackson
asked me why I chose her, but the real question is, why did she choose me? Why did she
take a risk with me? Shes not the lucky one
here, I am, and I count my blessings every
fucking day. Olivia is the string attached to
my balloon. I havent popped because she
hasnt let me. Olivia is the fuelling jet, following me as I soar through the clouds. She
feeds me fuel a little portion at a time, so I
dont get ahead of myself. She keeps me
grounded and thats why I love her.
Olivia doesnt know about the tense relationship with my dadat least not in its entirety, and it isnt really a big enough issue to
share with her.

441/723

I dont care about that anymore, I reply,

sliding my arms around her waist and inching her closer to me.
No?
I shake my head. Only what you think of
me matters.
Is that right?
I nod, slipping my hand under her shirt
and caressing the small of her back. The
touch alone is enough to ease the nervous
grind in my stomach.
And what do you think of me?
She purses her lips in thought and as shes
about to speak, Jacksons light hair and
green eyes peer around the door and stick into the car. You two coming?
Five minutes, I demand. Shut the
door.
With a swift nod, he closes the door.
Can we do this later? Were holding
everybody up.
I shake my head, slightly. Now is fine.

442/723

Okay. She drops her gaze and fidgets

with my shirt. I think you are insatiable, intense, aggressive, hard to read, and
stubborn.
Old news. Even I know that.
But I also think you are confident, determined, hardworking, handsome
Good in bed, I chime in, suddenly feeling playful. Amazing with my hands, but
better with my mouth and I have nice sized
c
Ego, she cuts in, her cheeks flushing.
Yeah, your ego is huge.
Is that what were calling it now? Its a
strange nickname but I think I can make it
work.
She slaps my chest and I grab her arms,
pinning them to her side. She thrashes
against me trying to break away. Im barely
using any strength to hold her down and I
find it extremely amusing (and a little arousing) that shes fighting so hard against me.

443/723

You love my ego. I chuckle, yanking her

forward so her chest is flush on mine and her
lips only inches away. You love the way my
ego feels.
I tilt my head forward and she gasps as I
suck her bottom lip into my mouth. I let it
go. Whether you like the way it tastes is yet
to be seen.
I watch her face as her lips straighten into
a serious line. Keep this grip on me and I
guarantee your ego wont see the outside of
your pants this entire trip.
I arch an eyebrow, but her face doesnt falter and I release her. Not a second later, she
crushes her lips to mine. Olivia parts her
thighs and slips them over mine as she rakes
her fingers through my hair. It takes me by
complete surprise. Im thoroughly dazed, my
brain and body out of sync as they desperately scatter to catch up with each other. As
her tongue roughly massages mine, my
hands come up and grip her ass, pulling her

444/723

hard against me. With a sharp inhale, she

rolls her hips into me and I groan into her
mouth. Luckily, the windows are black glass
and no one can see in. Only my eyes will see
my girl when shes like thishorny and commanding. I think having her hands on me is
exactly what I need to ease the negative
thoughts. My head swims with the taste of
her and the feel of her against me. Only she
has the power to consume me, to eradicate
all train of rational thinking. Even an occasional brush of her hand against my skin is
enough to send a warm shock through my
system.
Olivia pulls back an inch and our breath
collides between us. I look at her face. Her
eyes are thinned into lusty slits, her lips
swollen from our kiss. The waves of energy
between us has my heart pounding and it
takes all of my strength not to swallow hard.
I promise I will love every second I get to
taste you.

445/723

She leans forward and in one painfully

slow movement, she kisses me softly before
sliding off me and exiting the car.
I exhale, pulling her jacket over my lap to
conceal the erection thats trying to force its
way through my zipper and I give myself a
few long minutes to compose myself before
sliding from the car. The hot, sticky air clings
to me and I cant wait to get inside and out of
the desert heat.
The valets take the keys from Darryl while
the bell boys retrieve our bags from the back.
Vegas, baby! Jackson cheers, slinging an
arm over my shoulder.
I nudge him with my elbow and he recoils.
Lets not make this a repeat of our first trip
to Vegas. Lets keep it like last time, nice and
quiet.
He scoffs. You had a ball when we came
the first time.
Hes referring to the time he and I came to
Vegas for my twenty-first birthday .I roll my

446/723

eyes at him. Its because of that first time I

dont drink anymore.
Jackson is the only one I know who wears
a t-shirt with a formal jacket. Sure, it looks
good, but that doesnt make it any less weird.
Youre the only person in the world thatd
be upset by what you did. He shakes his
head. Not me. That was fucking awesome!
My gaze nervously flicks to Olivia, who
seems to be deep in conversation with Selena
as they gush over the giant gold lion at the
front. I dont want her to know what I did
years ago in Vegas. It makes me sick to even
think about it.
Dont bring it up anymore, I order, my
voice sounding a lot more aggressive than I
intend.
Jackson flashes me his palms, smiling deviously. Relax, I wont tell her. Your secret is
safe with me.
He winks and it makes me a little nervous.
Its not really a secret. Its not that I want to

447/723

hide it, I just dont like being reminded of it.

I was only twenty-one at the time and I was
stupid. Jackson and I got a little wild. Vegas
is the ultimate party spot and when I drink, I
tend to get a little out of controlin every
sense of the term. I got into a fight outside a
strip jointbroke the guys nose in two
places and had sex with three girls at the
same time. My stomach churns as my brain
pulls up on and off broken flashbacks of me
fucking all of them. I cringe. Ive never been
more disgusted with myself. Im not one to
regret or care about my decisions because at
that point in time, it was exactly what I
wantedbut that night left me feeling as stupid and as low and pathetic as my dad always
implied. When I drink, I become uncontrollableangry, horny, and unstoppable. Its
not something Im proud of, either, and its
something I tend to avoid. I dont like that
part of me. I dont like that alcohol brings
out a more magnified version of me and my

448/723

inability to control myself was part the reason I always declined alcohol around Olivia. If
she thinks Im insatiable and aggressive now,
she hasnt seen anything until Ive had my
fair share of booze. The second time I saw
Olivia, at Luxs back in Portland, I went out
that night with only the intent to drink and
fuck her out of my mindbut then I saw her
dancing with Selena and she planted her
roots in. I stopped drinking after half a beer
on the notion that if I drank anymore, I
wouldnt treat her like the good girl she is. I
wouldnt have stopped until I had Olivia in
the bathroom, in the alleyway, or on the
fucking dance floorI didnt care.
Olivia, however, is the polar opposite.
When she drinks, shes all cute and bubbly,
complete with hiccups and all.
Lets go and settle in, ladies and gentlemen, Darryl announces, slipping a pink
Lets Party shirt on over the top of his black
tee. This is our home for the next three

449/723

weeks. I am without children and other

father-related responsibilities. He looks at
me. Well, mostly.
I laugh. Darryl is a known party animal.
He loves beer, boobs, and dancing. Hell undoubtedly want to hit up a strip club or two
while were here, and hell call his wife,
Janie, right in the middle of it. Thats the
kind of relationship Darryl and Janie share.
Janie has no problem with Darryl having fun
with the boys. In fact, shes tagged along
once or twice. Olivias fingers thread though
mine. I hadnt realized she left Selena and
approached me. I squeeze them gently and I
feel her fingers flex in return.
Look! Selena squeals, pointing out toward the road. Theyve got you on a TV.
I follow the direction her skinny arm is
pointing and I see me on an LED television
up high by the road. I scan my stern face and
oiled skin. I dont think Ill ever get used to
seeing myself sopublic. Being out there

450/723

only makes it more embarrassing if I fail .I

look at my opponent, Junior Moset, on the
opposite side of the screen, who Ill fight in
the MGM Grand Garden Arena. Hes a little
smaller than menot intimidating at allso
why am I suddenly feeling so much selfdoubt? I dont deserve this and Im going to
fuck it up. I start to over think
thingseverything feels wrong. Olivia releases my hand and her fingers travel north
before wrapping around my elbow and
pulling my arm into her chest. Olivia doesnt
touch my face or hold me like she usually
does when Im feeling on edge. Those moments are for us only and I dont like sharing
my problems with everyone elseeven
Darryl and Jackson. If I really focus, Im sure
I can feel her heart beating against me and
the thought alone is enough to ease my
tension.

451/723

We can all gaze on Seths perfection

later. Olivia laughs. I want to see my
room.
Since you boys are going to be busy all
the time, maybe Olivia and I should share a
room? Selena suggests, flicking her long
blonde hair over shoulder.
Like fucking hell. Jackson and I start our
protest at the same time, forcing Selena to
take a slight step backwards.
I dont think thats a bad ide Olivia begins and I cut her off.
Youre staying with me.
Vegas is a big city and not the kind of
place I want Olivia walking around without
me, especially under the influence of Selena
who, lets face it, isnt exactly the smartest
person in the world or the most innocent.
When I first met Olivia, she was drinking
beer in a steakhouse in the morning, roofied
in a club, and groped in a parking lot all

452/723

because of Selena. I wont have it. No fucking

way.
Selenas green eyes narrow in on me. Jesus Christ, its only a suggestion. Nobody is
taking your precious away from you.
Beside me, Olivia giggles and when I look
down at her, she shrugs and bites her lip. Im
glad she finds this so amusing, but I dont. I
need our time in Vegas to go off without a
hitch. Everything Ive planned for Vegas all
adds up to the one big question I will ask her.
All of it. I cant take any chances.
Darryl sighs. Keep fighting and Olivia
and Selena are sharing a room with me. Stick
to the original plan. Selena and Jackson,
Seth and Olivia, and me and myself. Happy?
Everyone agrees and turns to enter the
hotel. I glance over my shoulder and take
one last look at the sign.
I can do this.

Chapter Sixteen
Olivia
I still cant get over the sheer extravagance
of our room. Even with Jackson, Darryl and
Selena here, the Skyline Terrace suite still
feels large and empty. The two-story suite is
easily seven hundred and eighty square feet
and is filled with loads of elegant furniture.
Why he paid for such a big suite for just the
two of us is beyond me, all five of us can fit in
here easily.

454/723

I drop my black stilettos onto the bathroom tiles and adjust my clingy dress. Selena
brought it up for me to wear after she refused to let me leave the hotel in the plum
colored dress Id originally chosen. This one
is nice, if not a little revealing.
I side step in front of the arty floor length
mirror just outside of the bathroom and into
the master bedroom. I adjust the front of the
dress to prevent my nipple from falling out
before analyzing the rest of my outfit. The
hemline at the base of the dress stops midthigh and curves a little higher in the middle,
exposing a large portion of my legs. I turn
around and my back is completely exposed,
the whole dress held together by a few thin
straps attached to a metal ring in the middle
of my spine. This dress is the epitome of sexy
club dressesand it so isnt my style.
The bedroom door whips open and Seth
strolls in. I watch him, waiting for him to see
me, but apparently he thinks hes alone up

455/723

here. I lean against the wall and watch him

and his delicious naked torso walk around
the room, apparently in search of a shirt. He
threw his clothes all over the bed when we
arrived and I put them away in the wardrobe. Might as well settle in, this is our home
for three weeks.
He pauses and scratches the back of his
head. I smile and bite back a giggle. Watching someone as beautiful as him be so genuinely perplexed is amusing and heartwarming.
Theyre in the wardrobe, I tell him with
a chuckle.
He snaps around to face me and his expression shifts from surprised tosomething
else. I know the look. Ive been on the receiving end of it for months nowdesire. Pure
desire. The look in his eyes makes my heart
rate increase, but I continue to lean coolly
against the wall, like he isnt affecting me. He

456/723

inhales and his muscles contract, relaxing on

exhale.
What happened to the other dress? The
purple one?
I want to tell him the difference between
purple and plum, but you know what? Hes a
male, hell never understand. Lavender,
plum, mauveto them its all purple.
I changed my mind. I dont tell him its
Selenas. He already has a fewissues with
her decisions. You dont like this one.
He nods slowly. And Id be an idiot to let
you leave this room in it.
I step forward, feeling rather daring. I
dont know what it is, but lately I like challenging Seth and it turns out, with enough
force, he melts like putty in my hands. Its a
nice change. Hes always the one to order me
around and mold me to what he wants, but
now its me. I wonder if he realizes that hes
bending to my needs. I wonder if he realizes
that hes a hell of a lot more in love with me

457/723

than he knows. What does Jackson call him?

Pussy whipped. Thats it. Seth is pussy
whipped, by me.
I step toward him, smiling. Its not one of
my usual smiles. I can feel it. Its mischievousdaring. Are you going to stop me?
His eyes thin out and the challenge comes
through loud and clear. Testing him, I proceed to walk past him and I barely make one
step past his body before his hand shoots
out, planting itself on my stomach. The heat
from his hand causes my stomach muscles to
clench. I look at him and his dark eyes are on
mine. They lure me in from underneath his
brow and I turn my body toward him, completely hypnotized by his intensity.
Im not going to stop you, he tells me.
But I am going to make sure you remember
exactly who youre with and exactly who
youre coming home with.
As if Id forget. He comes at me, gripping
my hips and forcing me backwards. The back

458/723

of my legs hit a table and pushes me against

it. I drop my hands to the surface to stabilize
myself as Seth smashes his mouth to mine.
Tingling warmth and pleasure sweeps
through me as one of his hands rest on the
table behind me, the other heavy hand pulls
my dress up to my hips and slips straight into my underwear without so much as a
please. He doesnt check to see if Im ready
or not because he knows I amI always am
for him and he slips a finger inside me. I sink
my teeth into my bottom lip as a shiver tears
down my spine. A frisson of hot, sinful pleasure hums my skin and I shift my hips forward, wanting to be closer to him as my patience gets the best of me. Im so incredibly
wet and his finger glides with ease in and out
of me.
I lift my hands, placing them on his hard
biceps and I feel him trembling with lust. He
hunches over me with a rough exhale, adding

459/723

a second finger and forcing me to bend with

him, arching my back.
His fingers slide in and out quickly now,
with purpose and intention. He lowers his
mouth to my ear and I shudder, rolling my
hips on his hand. All night you are going to
feel my fingers inside you.
He curls his fingers, grazing my sweet
spot, and I clench his arms, gasping unashamedly into his shoulder. He pumps his
fingers harder and faster, pressing into me
from the inside. My mind blanks and my
body jerks as heat explodes inside me, leaving me breathless and desperately limp.
Seth pulls his fingers out and brings them
to my face before dragging one over my bottom lip. All night you are going to remember how hard I made you come and youre
going to be eager to get home so I can do it to
you all over again. The way he draws the
last three words moistens me immediately.
When we come home, Im going to pound

460/723

into you so hard, youll feel like youre going

to break.
You want to break me?
His scorching eyes flare at me. Like fucking porcelain. Im going to lie you down on
the bed, spread your legs, and fuck you so
thoroughly the only word youll remember
tomorrow is my name.
I catch my breath. That epic, huh?
You have no idea.
He kisses my nose and saunters toward
the cupboard. I watch, trying to regain my
composure as he pulls a shirt from the bedside table. When hes happy, he turns back
around and strolls toward the door. Lets
get out of here.
I slip off the table and trail lazily behind
Seth as he pulls a nice light blue tee over his
head. Thats all it takes for him to get
dressed? I spent forty minutes doing my hair
and makeup. He rakes his fingers through
his hair, throws a shirt on, and calls himself

461/723

finishedand somehow, he still looks perfectas if hed spent an hour grooming himself. If only I could be that simple with anything I do.
A loud wolf whistle pierces my ear and I
cringe, snapping my gaze to Selena.
I knew that dress would look amazing on
you.
I take in her outfit and suddenly feel a
little underdressed. I have never, ever, ever
in my life seen Selena dressed and ready for
a club in anything more than tissue sized
fabric. Yet, here I am, the one in a skimpy
dress and her dressed to the classy nines in a
pair of tight, black slacks, high black heels
and a beautiful, satin pearl shirt with a
plunging neckline.
Selena I ask cautiously, walking down
the rest of the stairs and towards the kitchen.
Where are we?
She arches an eyebrow and eyes me curiously. Las Vegas.

462/723

In the background somewhere I hear

Darryl chuckle.
And how many dresses do you own specifically for Las Vegas?
Selena flicks her long blonde curls over
her shoulderand she didnt straighten her
hair? What the hell? Has hell actually frozen
over? I watch her, still in shock as she steps
into the kitchen. On the counter there are
three shot glasses already made up, filled
with unknown and undoubtedly potent spirits. She grabs one and hands it to me. I look
at it for a second before taking it from her.
You need to relax. I have three weeks to
wear slutty dresses. She winks at me. Youll
only go out twice maximum, so you can wear
the nice dress tonight and the stupid plum
one next time.
I feel Seth move from behind me. He leans
on the counter next to me. And here I was
thinking Olivia was an adult capable of making her own decisions.

463/723

Jesus Christ. I down my shot in one swallow and slap it down on the counter, gritting
my teeth against the burning booze.
Its fine. Ill wear the dress, I smile at
Selena. but only because I know itll kill you
seeing me in one while youre stuck in
pants. I poke at the empty shot glass, inching it closer to her. Your turn.
She flushes a shade of pink Ive never seen
grace her cheeks before as she fills the glass.
Ive had my fill for the night, she informs
me, sliding the glass back.
Seth and I look at each other and he
seems just as baffled as I am. Selena doesnt
have her fill. When it comes to alcohol, her
stomach is a bottomless pit.
From behind me, Jackson swoops in and
wraps his full lips around the glass, tipping it
down his throat. I glance at Seth again and
he shrugs with a small smile on his lips.
I have the feeling Jackson has a lot to do
with Selenas behavior tonight. Im happy

464/723

that hes helping her to quit smoking and

drinking, but I hope he isnt putting too
much pressure on her. Im her best friend
and I couldnt even get her to listen to me
about the risks of ingesting too much alcohol. Shes always been assertive and her own
person in her own right and no one has been
able to tell her differentlyuntil now. Dont
get me wrong, I dont mind that Selena isnt
drinking. I just hope its her own decision
and not Jacksons.
Jackson slides the remaining shot glass
across the counter to Seth. Without hesitation he pushes it right back. Ive never really
found out why Seth chooses not to drinkmy
assumptions always begin and end with his
mother, but I dont think thats the whole
story. I watch the silent exchange of glances
between Seth and Jackson. Jackson appears
to be having the time of his life as he bites
back a smile. Seth, however, tries to keep his
calm faade, but even I can see the warning

465/723

in his eyes. Whatever is going on, its making

me uncomfortable.
My mood suddenly dampens and going
out feels like itll be more of a chore than an
adventure. I fail to see the point in going out
of its only Jackson and I drinkingand
Darryl too, wherever the hell he is. I cant
hide my pout.
You guys have all been to Vegas before.
Youve all done it, but I havent. I want crazy,
dramatic, and exciting. I want loud music,
gambling and strong alcoholic beverages
with stupid sexual namesI want the Vegas
experience.
Which is actually stupid. I hate clubbing,
Ive hated it for as long as I can remember,
but Im in Vegas and you dont avoid the
clubs in Vegas. Am I being selfish? I cant
tell.
With an exhale, Seth reaches for the shot
glass and slams it back with such ease youd
think hes shooting water.

466/723

You want the Vegas experience then Ill

give it to you at your own risk, he tells me,
sliding his glass to the middle of the marble
counter.
Jackson claps his hands before pouring us
another round of drinks and Darryl slips into
the kitchen from the living room as soon as
he hears the lid unscrew and joins us at the
island.
My own risk? I wonder aloud.
He nods. Yep. You want crazy, dramatic,
and exciting? Its yours, but Im only giving
you until I finish my next shot to back out.
Once Ive downed the shot, youre on the Vegas rollercoaster, your safety bar is locked,
and there is no getting off He smirks and
caresses the hem of my dress. Unless its by
me, of course.
I feel heat flood my cheeks. Seth will say
anything in front of anyone and sometimes, I
admire his boldness. Other times, I want to
jam my hands in his mouth to prevent him

467/723

from speaking. I drop my sight to his fingers

and I watch as they curl around the tiny
glass. It seems almost doll-like in his large
hand. I follow the cup all the way to his lips.
His brown eyes lock with mine and he seems
almost excited, like hes daring me to let him
drink it. Seth begins to pour the liquid into
his mouth before tipping the whole thing
down his throat. He swallows and my pulse
begins its rapid ascent, from normal to overdrive. Shit. What have I gotten myself into?
Oh yeah! Jackson cheers, pouring a shot
and handing it to Selena. We are in for a
treat tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Seth is
here and hes bringing the action!
Seth rolls his eyes. Lets get out of here.
Jackson slides us all a shot each and we
take it. Sadly, Im the only one to recoil from
the taste. Its then I realize Im barely going
to be able to hang with these guyseven
Seth, who seems to be more acquainted with

468/723

the taste of alcohol than me, which really

piques my curiosity.
Locked and loaded. Lets blow the roof
off this bitch! Darryl shouts, adjusting his
black button up shirt. It seems Darryl has
been drinking prematurely and is probably a
little too over the limit to chauffer us around.
Whos going to drive?
Selena laughs over her shoulder at me as I
approach the door. Were on Las Vegas
Boulevard with Luxor, Bellagio, Mirage
Okay, I get it. So what?
So, were walking everywhere tonight.
You want the Vegas experience and that
means you have to drunkenly stumble everywhere you want to go or catch a cab.
I look at Seth and he shrugs at me.
You guys walked everywhere when you
did Vegas?
They all nodeven Darryl.

469/723

And the casinos? Are they what they

make them out to be on TV? I ask as we
reach the front door.
Theyre everything youve seen and
more, Darryl says, looking over his shoulder
at me. The lights. The sounds. The pulsating
energy He smiles. Dont worry, youll
love every second of it, that I guarantee.
***
The air is charged like an electrical storm.
I can almost taste itas well as feel it. What
shot is this? Eight. Maybe seven. I slam it
back and squeeze my eyes shut against the
licorice tasting burn at the back of my throat.
Theres music blasting in quick, booming
beats. Im way over my limit and my brain is
too fuzzy to register the music, but I can feel
it vibrate the metal stool Im sitting on as it
hums through my body.

470/723

I dont know what casino Im at. Wherever

it is, its loud, filled with people and exotic
dancers in tiny cages and glass boxes. I love
the atmosphere and the way excitement and
anticipation hangs heavily in the air.
Do you want another? Seth shouts into
my ear and I look at him over my shoulder.
Hes had as many shots as I have, but he
seems hardly affected by the alcohol, unlike
me. My eyesight sways and I see two of him
before they merge back into one. If only
there were two of himthe things I would
doHe smiles down at me, amused, and I
realize I havent responded to his question. I
open my mouth, but he cuts me off.
Maybe not. His warm hand engulfs my
elbow. Come on.
I hold onto him as he pulls me over to
Darryl, who sits on a purple looking
couchor maybe its pink. Hell, it could be
red for all I know. My eyes arent exactly my
most reliable source right now and the dark

471/723

lighting makes it that little bit harder. My

head rolls and my heavy eyes threaten to
close so I sit down on a small compact arm
chair while Seth joins Darryl on the couch.
Darryl slides a shot glass over to me. For
you.
The thought of having another shot while
the last one lingers so freshly at the back of
my throat makes me nauseous, but I cant
stop now. Seth sits back on the couch, his
arms stretching over the back. He watches
me for a few seconds before giving me a nod
of the head. Maybe I dont look as drunk over
here as I did at the bar. Without hesitation, I
down the shot and surprisingly, it doesnt
burn my throat. I return the glass to the table
and let my head roll to the side to rest
against the velvet fabric. Im feeling sleepy,
my eyes heavy with the effects of the alcohol.
Sleep would be great right now, but as far as
everyone else is concerned, the Vegas experience has only just begun. We still have yard

472/723

glasses to drink from, casinos to throw

money at, and cabs to take to nowhere. They
feel combining all of their experiences into
one huge experience is necessary, but Im
ready to go homenot that Ill ever admit
that. I wanted this. Everyone is drinking because of meeven Seth and Selena. I have to
go through with it. Im a twenty-three year
old woman drinking alcohol because she
feels bad that her friends are doing it, how
pathetic do I sound? I guess the main thing
is that Im feeling a lot better now Im very
well under the influence.
Out of nowhere Jackson and Selena stroll
up to our table with more drinksall shot
glassessome with wedges of lime and a
shaker of salt. Selena sits a shot down on the
wooden table in front of me and the thought
of drinking it makes me sick. She watches me
eagerly, enjoying every second of my drunkenness. Unwilling to fail, I force myself forward and reach out for the little cup of mind-

473/723

numbing, head-spinning, nausea-inducing

poison. Before my finger makes it within an
inch of the glass, Seth leans forward, taking
the shot for himself and buying me a few
more conscious seconds. I offer him a small
smile and he returns it.
Last stop on the Vegas experience, The
Spearmint Rhino. Well spend the rest of the
night there and then walk back to MGM.
The Spearmint Rhino? I ask, unsure if
my voice is coming out in a slurry fumble or
if Im imagining it.
Its only the greatest strip club in Las Vegasquite possibly the world!
Ive never felt so out of the loop. I rake my
fingers through my hair in an attempt to
wake myself up. Thats hardly a sexy name
for a strip club
No. Seth cuts in, leaning back in his seat
again. No strip clubs.
Selena struts toward me and slowly drops
herself into my lap. I rest my head against

474/723

hers and watch while Jackson folds his arms

across his chest. Olivia wants the Vegas experience. Whats Vegas without a trip to the
Spearmint Rhino?
I swear if I hear the words Vegas experience one more time Im going to puke.
Seth laughs once. Youre in no position to
tell me what she wants, Jackson.
Theres a small smile on Seths lips, but
his eyes are dead serious. Both Selena and I
groan at the same time, rolling our eyes.
Here we go.
We can go, I cut in, drawing everyones
shocked eyeseven Seths. Its not worth
the argument. I said Id do everything and if
going to a strip club is included, then Ill do
it, but I swear to God, if a stripper touches
me, Im out of there.
I dont know why strip clubs and strippers
freak me out. Its nothing against them or
their professionI think its quite brave to

475/723

get up and dance for seedy men, although Id

never do it.
Ever. I dont like that the last stripper invaded my personal space for money. I was
never asked by the stripper in Boston if it
was okay for her to touch me or kiss me. She
took the money and she did what she was
told without approval from me. Im not a homophobe, either. I dont flinch away from
lesbians in the street or treat them differently because of their preference, but if one
were to kiss me, Id freak out, because that
isnt my thing. I dont kiss girls to impress
boys. I dont see women (no matter how hot
they are) and think man, Id kiss her. Its
just not me.
All three of themJackson, Selena and
Darrylare excited about my willingness to
go to the Mintyfresh Rhino (or whatever the
hell he called it). Seth, however, watches me
from underneath his brows, his eyes dark
and questioning.

476/723

Well meet you outside! Selena squeals

and they leavethe lot of themthey leave
me alone with Seth and his less than happy
state.
I dont want to be caught alone waiting for
him to speak. I know he hates that, so, in one
swift and surprisingly sober move, I join him
on the couch.
We watch each other for a few seconds,
gauging each others state. He moves first,
leaning forward to bring his mouth toward
my ear. My stare follows his full, parted lips
right up to the side of my face. We dont
have to go. If you want to call it quits, Ill
take you home right now. His voice close to
my ear causes pleasant chills to rush through
me.
I shake my head. But the others
Forget them. Theyll go with or without
you. Tell me now if you youre up for it. If
you are, Ill shut my mouth and continue to

477/723

make sure youre having a good time. If

youre not, well go home.
I ponder for a little while. Hes giving me a
way out of this whole scenario, but I dont
know if I want to take it. But if I go
homeIll have to walk in these heels and my
feet are killing me.
He smiles. Ill carry you.
Youll carry me? Do you know how far we
are fromwait, where are we?
Seths features straighten and he looks
around the club for a sign or something that
tells us where the hell we are. I glance down
at the table, there are some coasters, but
theyre all ripped up or so wet the writing is
unreadable. I dont think he knows where we
are, either.
Lets go, I tell him, rising to my feet.
I sway unsteadily for a moment and Seth
reaches out, wrapping an arm around my
waist. He stabilizes me by pulling me down
and onto his lap, flush against his chest.

478/723

Even in the club I can smell his cologneits

fucking sexywhatever the hell it is. Ive
never smelled it before now and its intoxicating. It envelops me and I think it makes the
hairs on my body stand on their ends. Then
again, it could be the alcohol or the air-conditioning blowing straight down the back of
my neck. Being the romantic I am, Im going
to narrow it down to his smell.
New cologne? I wonder aloud.
He nods and an excited smile pulls at his
lips. I bought it yesterday. Do you like it?
Surits nicyeah, I stutter my answer.
I exhale and nod my head insteadhow charismatic of me. Seths eyes flare at my response and I make a mental note to fill the
bath with his perfume when we get back and
drown in it.
I clear my throat. To the Pepper Albino?
Seth laughs loudly, dropping his head to
my shoulder and my body shakes as he

479/723

laughs into me. Did I say something funny?

What?
The Pepper Albino? He chuckles, pulling
back from me.
In the dim light, I see the glimmer of happiness in his eyes and I want to know what
made him so happy so I can do it again. And
again. And again andwell, you get the
picture.
What the fuck, O? Whered you pull that
name from?
What? I shrug. Thats what he said.
The Spearmint Rhino, is what he said.
I stare at him for a little while. The Spearmint Rhino? Is that right? It doesnt sound
right. Oh, is all I manage to say. Now I feel
like an idiot.
My chest hiccups as I randomly spit out a
laugh and I quickly slap my hand up to cover
my mouth.
I will forever call that place The Pepper
Albino.

480/723

I swat at him, but he pulls back and manages to avoid it. He grabs my hands, pulling
me back into him. and I think Ill keep you
drunk, he says, kissing my nose.
Whys that?
Because youre funny and you dont
think.
I arch my eyebrow at him. Wow. Only
you can tell someone theyre dumb and make
it sound like a compliment.
He rolls his brown eyes at me. Thats not
what I meant. When youre drunk, there are
no cog wheels in your eyes as you try to decipher your next move. You do and say
things right from the top of your head and I
love that. You should do it more often.
I smile. See, thats not going to work. We
cant have two people in this relationship
throwing caution to the wind. Someone has
to be the responsible one.

481/723

He bites his bottom lip and then rakes his

teeth over it. Thats true, but for tonight,
lets both be reckless and stupid.
Reckless and stupid? I like it. Should we
add crazy and exciting to the list while
were at it? I suggest, inching my face closer
to his and setting my body alight with
arousal.
He nods. And dramatic and passionate.
Easy, now. Dont make promises you
cant keep
Ive never broken a promise in my life
and Im not going start tonight.
He grabs the shots and hands one to me
before he tips his down his throat. Following
his lead, I slam mine back and grit my teeth
against the taste as I throw my glass onto the
couch. Seth grabs me by the face and crushes
his mouth to mine. Tequila floods my taste
buds and I gasp into his mouth as his tongue
forces more of the flavor into my mouth. He
produces a lime from nowhere and my heavy

482/723

stare drops to his mouth as his wet tongue

slips out from between his lips. He licks the
lime slowly and brings it to my mouth. I
watch him, dazed, as he rubs it along my bottom lip. I part my lips and suck it into my
mouth, now hes the one watching me with a
heavy, lust-filled stare. I bite down and sour
juice floods my mouth, mixing with my
saliva.
I keep watching him as he grabs the salt
shaker and opens the lid, dipping his lime
moistened finger in. He draws his finger to
my mouth, while retrieving the lime with his
other hand. He rubs the very tip of his salty
finger along my bottom lip and I take his
whole finger in my mouth, sucking the salt
off. I make sure I swirl my tongue to get
every grain. Its not a coincidence that hes
wants me to suck the salt from his finger. I
know hes fishing to see if I know what Im
doing when it comes to other sexual acts. I
havent taken Seth in my mouth yet, and I

483/723

know hes curious to experience it with me.

He probably thinks Im avoiding it because I
havent done it before. Ive done it before and
Id say Im pretty good at it. Every time Ive
done it, Ive received the appropriate response, but I havent done it with Seth because, well, compared to Blade, his penis is a
lot bigger. Like, a lot bigger. Im nervousor
at least I was until I downed a copious
amount of shots and he put his finger in my
mouth with that sexy look in his eyes. Under
the influence, Im not nervous. I can do it tonightI will do it tonight.
***
Selenas hand convulses around mine, she
can barely contain her excitement as we
enter the Spearmint Rhino. She loves clubs,
but she loves strip clubs even more. According to her, men leave you alone in strip clubs
and focus more on the already provided bare

484/723

breasts instead of trying to free yours from

your dress.
Inside, the club is decorated with lots of
blacks and goldseverything seeming to follow that strict color code. Unlike the Polaris
in Boston, the Spearmint Rhino strangely offers a homier vibewhich is probably the
weirdest thing Ive ever thought in my life. In
this club, I dont feel dirty. The red-haired
girl doing her thing on the narrow stage isnt
fully naked and that makes me feel bettereven if I can still see her hard, fake
breasts and dark erect nipples.
I feel Seth plant his hand low on my back.
One word and well go, okay? he tells me,
his breath caressing my earlobe. I nod my
head. One word and I can go home, thats all
it takes. Relaxing, I inhale deeply, drawing in
the scent of whiskey and Coke.
We follow Jackson over to a little group of
black chairs in the far corner of the room.

485/723

Here we are, nice and secluded for

Olivias bashful eyes, but not too far away for
the rest of us to enjoy the show.
I smile, knowing very well that Jackson is
taking a shot at me and my timidness about
being at a strip club. I dont care, Im just
glad he was thoughtful enough to not get us
seats right underneath the stage. Without
sitting down, Darryl leaves and brings us
back a round of drinks. Im already having a
hard time keeping my eyes open and preventing sharp lines from blurring into one
another. And Im trying hard to ignore the
pressure I feel at the front of my forehead,
behind my brow. I bring the wine glass that
he sits in front of me to my noseits red
wine of some kind. I sip at it and it goes
down smoothly, not burning like the shots
Ive been taking all night, and the feeling of
having something so fruity and smooth slip
down my throat is refreshing. After the
drinks are received, we talk about the

486/723

upcoming fight. Seth doesnt seem so keen to

add to the conversation and I know its because hes nervous. I dont know what it is
with him but hes usually so confident that it
borderlines self-obsessed, but when it comes
to fighting he can be so reservedlike he
thinks hes not good enough. I push myself
off my chair and straight onto his lap. He
hands me his drink and his lips curve into a
delightful smile as he wraps his arms around
me. What do you know, a beautiful girl is
sitting on my lap and I didnt even have to
pay for it.
I chuckle. Arent you lucky?
Extremely lucky. His fingers dance
around my thigh, toying with the edge of my
dress.
I lean in to kiss him, but a guy in a very
nice suit with three girls on his arm strolls
past us in a haze of giggles and whispers, distracting me.

487/723

That looks familiar. Jackson snickers,

drawing my attention and the glass to his
lips.
Underneath me, I feel Seths body tighten
and I look down at him. He takes his drink
from my hands and takes an uncomfortable
sip, his eyes never leaving Jackson.
Familiar? Selena asks, curiously.
Youve had three women? At once?
Not me, I dont have enough stamina to
entertain three women. His eyes flick to
Seth and then his smug smile fades as realization sets in.
Does he mean Seth? Seth has had three
women at once? I glance down at Seth again,
whose eyes are no longer on Jackson, but on
me. Hes tense, like hes expecting me to
freak out. Faintly, in the background mixed
with sensual music and lively chatter, I hear
Selena start a new conversation in an attempt to forget the last one. Waitwhy is
Seth so worried? When did he do three

488/723

women? The last time he was in Vegas?

When he was fighting Don?
Three? I spit out, feeling my own eyes
widening. I glance back at the rest of the
group. Theyre engaged in a new conversation, ignoring Seth and I. A few seconds pass
and the three of them rise from their seats
and stroll toward the bar.
Seth cringes, shaking his head. That
wasnt nicehe shouldnt have said anyth
When? The last time you were in Vegas?
He frowns, seeming almost agitated. No,
I was with you the last time I was in Vegas. I
did it when I was here on my twenty-first
birthday.
Seths voice lowers a few decibels and I let
out a breath I didnt know I was holding. I
dont know why I was expecting him to tell
me he did it when we were togetherIm
used to it, I guess. How pathetic does that
sound?

489/723

Is he ashamed? No, he cant be. Seth Marc

ashamed of something hes done? Now Ive
seen everything.
Do you remember them? I ask, never
dropping eye contact.
No.
Do you remember me?
Trick question. I know he does, but I want
to hear him say it. I want him to tell me how
beautiful I am compared to them. I want him
to tell me that Im the only one he ever wants
to be with. Every girl wants that when they
ask these kinds of questions. We fish for
compliments and reassurance. No girl will
ever admit it, but its true. We always want to
be told how much better we are than the last
girl. Always. Even when were compared to
our best friends, we want to be put on top.
Girls, we can be such vain creatures.
Seths face doesnt falter at my question,
his intense eyes still penetrating me with the
same dark gleam. Every rise and

490/723

depression, every scarevery fucking

freckle.
Then I say, slowly, we have no
problem.
He watches me closely, trying to decipher
if Im playing with him or not. Who am I to
hold what he did before he met me against
him? I know Im guilty of itespecially after
my little outburst in California, but since
then Ive realized when you meet someone
new, its all about starting fresh. You cant
take someones past and throw it in their
face. Its called the past for a reason.
When I drink I get a little out of control. I
get mad and horny and I cant stop He
confesses with a small cringe on his face.
Here I am thinking hes traumatized by
his mother enough not to drink, but its because hes an aggressive-horny drunk and he
doesnt like it. How unexpected
And you did all three of them?
He nods. All three.

491/723

I feel my pussy pulsate at the thought.

Sure, Im jealous, and yes, theres a swirling
mass of nauseating butterflies in my stomach
at the thought of him touching them like he
touches me, but underneath all of that,
theres desiredesire to see this other side of
himto experience this other side of him. I
bring the drink closer to him, holding it up to
his mouth.
You still want me to drink? Seth asks,
curiously. Anymore and I think Im going to
be way over my safety limit.
I pull the glass back a little. Only if you
promise to take all of your anger and passion
out on me and not three strange women.
His eyebrows arch in disbelief before
pulling into a determined frown. He snatches
the drink from my hand and slams it back in
a few quick seconds. He leans over me, his
body almost crushing me as he sets his glass
down on the table. When he pulls back, I
fling my arms around his neck and force my

492/723

lips against his. Im not usually one for public displays of affection, but there are enough
bare tits in this room to take the attention off
a couple making out in the back corner of the
room.
Seth pulls away as the speakers announce
a new dancer and his eyes flick to the stage.
After a few seconds, I feel his entire body go
rigid and I drag my gaze from his lips to his
eyes. The colorful spark of lust, gone; replaced with dark anger. In one rapid movement, he shifts out from underneath me,
swiftly laying me flat on my back on the
couch. What the hell?
In the distance, I hear the sound of a metal stool colliding with the side of the bar and
it forces me out of my confused stupor as
Darryl runs right by my couch and after
SethJackson in tow.
I push myself up onto my elbows before
sitting up and swinging my legs off the edge
of the couch. I watch Seth stalk his way past

493/723

chairs, infatuated business men, and rowdy

bachelors to get to the stage. The lone girl on
stagethe one he appears to be going foris
oblivious to his approach and Jackson and
Darryl are unable to reach him before he
jumps onto the stage in a single bound.
What the hell is going on? Selena demands as she drops into the seat next to me.
We both watch Seth grab the girl on stage.
She looks genuinely terrified to see him and
desperately tries to cover her breasts and
tiny light blue G-string.
What the fuck, O? Selena breathes,
grabbing my wrist.
I dont speak as I watch Seth and the girl
silently yell at each other. By the time Jackson and Darryl make it to the stage, the
bouncers are already there, trying to contain
Seth, but hes too powerful for them. When
he shrugs them off, they stumble back several feet before they find their footing again.
The girl tries to run back through the doors

494/723

she came from, but he grabs her wrist, forcing her to stay with him. Her long black hair
whips around and her face is flushed with
both embarrassment and anger. I cant see
all of the fine details from here, but I hate
that shes so pretty.
Who is that? Do you know who that is?
Again I ignore Selena, heartbrokenly immersed in the scene before me. Surely Im
imagining this. Whoever this girl is, Seth
doesnt like her stripping in front of all these
people, and the way he handles her with such
aggression and possession sends my stomach
in knots. From the dark corners of the club,
six security guards march onto the stage and
restrain Seth. They pull back on their heel,
dragging a pissed off Seth from the stage as
the girl disappears behind the staff doors. I
leap off the couch and make it to the doors as
Seth is forced from the club.
Outside, Darryl has Seth against the wall,
trying to calm him, and Jackson is by the

495/723

road, hailing a cab. Everything is happening

so fast and my dizzy brain cant take it all in.
My head spins as a result of all of the alcohol
and the scene that just played out before me.
It cant be what I think it isWe havent been
in Vegas long enough for him to find
someone elseright?
A cab pulls up almost immediately and its
whitecompletely different to the yellow
ones we have in Portlandnot that thats an
important piece of information right now.
Seth pushes past Darryl and I watch as he
storms toward the cab. He pulls open the
door and turns to me. Get in.
I step forward and then pause. Seth
Jesus-fucking-Christ, he snaps. I said
get in!
I glance over my shoulder at Selena and
she folds her arms tightly over her chest.
Olivia, you dont have to go with him,
she tells me, spitting the word him like it
fills her mouth with a bad taste.

496/723

Stay out of it, Selena, Jackson demands

and Selena opens her mouth, about to
protest.
Its okay, I tell her, proud of how steady
my voice comes out. Ill call you later.
I look back at Seth and receive no hint of
warmth or sympathy for what I just witnessedwhatever the hell that was. Trusting
Seth, I approach him, hoping hell give me
some kind of sane explanation inside the
cab. I hunch and climb into the taxi and he
follows me, slamming the door behind him.
After he grumbles out the hotel to the taxi
driver, he doesnt move or even try to explain
what just happened and I dont know if I
should be the one who starts the
conversation.
The Persian taxi driver smiles at me
through the rear-view mirror and I decide
dragging him into this isnt a good idea. I can
hear Seths loud, fast breathing, but I dont
do anything to comfort him. I sit with my

497/723

straight posture and watch the lights whip

past. I keep my hands in my lap, entwined in
each other to fight the urge to touch him.
Seth winds down the window, letting in
more fresh air and I can hear his fingers
playing in an uneven beat against his denim
jeans as he becomes more and more anxious.
I flinch when he finally speaks. I know
how fucked up that probably looked to you,
but Ill explain it allonce I come to terms
with it myself.
I nod without looking at him. I hope he
explains it to me soon because I fear Im
about to burst into tears at any second. As
the bright lights of the Las Vegas Boulevard
begin to whip past, I bite my lower lip and
ask myself the same question Selena was
asking me earlier. Who the fuck was that and
what the fuck just happened?
***

498/723

I lean against the wall at the base of the

stairs to our bedroom, my body tight and on
high alert as Seth loses the plot. He grabs a
small orb candle holder and tosses it hard
against the wall. The pretty red and silver
glass shatters into tiny pieces on the ground
and I avert my gaze as he snatches up a bar
stool and puts it through the beautiful glass
coffee table. Fear catapults through my body
and grips my stomach as I flinch away from
the loudness. Note to self: If we ever live together, avoid purchasing anything ceramic,
glass or anything else he can destroy. Sadly,
Im having a serious case of dj vu from Boston. Only now its over some random girl in
a strip club instead of Don.
He snaps around on his heel, his dark eyes
zeroing in on me. Go to bed, he growls and
I almost flinch. I dont want you to see me
like this.
No, I reply, pressing myself harder
against the wall for support and to prevent

499/723

myself from cowering away from his dark,

aggressive stare. Im not going anywhere.
I want to hate him right now. I want to
slap him and call him names and leavebut
he told me he loved me. He has told me over
and over that hed never hurt me like that
and although tonight leaves me feeling
highly betrayed, I know theres more to it.
Miscommunication is a killer and I wont let
this relationship fall victim to it.
His chest rises and falls in quick pants and
his lips are parted as his breath is quickly expelled from his lungs before he draws it back
in again. Youre just going to watch me flip
out and give yourself another reason to love
me less?
I feel my features pinch together. Love
you less? How can I love you less? I step
forward. It doesnt work that way. I love you
to my fullest capabilities or I dont love you
at all. There is no in between.
And do you love me now?

500/723

I purse my lips. Yes. Yes, I love him now.

Yes, I love him after the scene I witnessed at
the strip club, but hes in no position to ask
me questionsnot while Ive yet to receive
an explanation from him.
When youre ready to give me an explanation, Ill be ready to give you the answer.
I know I should be fuming. I know I
should be the one throwing things and demanding answers, but sometimes a girl just
needs to take a step back and be told what to
do. A girl should have strong moments,
where shes fierce and in control and sometimes, a girl should have weak moments,
where shes vulnerable and wants to cry just
to be told everything is going to be okay. This
is a weak moment for me. Maybe I dont
want an explanationmaybe Im scared of
what hes going to say. As quickly as he
builds me up with his sweet lips, I know he
can send me crashing at any second.

501/723

He doesnt like my response. I can see

panic settle in his eyes and as Im about to
crackto tell him how much I love himhe
storms from the room, slamming the door
with a loud hit behind him. I sag against the
wall and close my eyes. How the hell am I
going to deal with this? I dont even want to
deal with this right now. Im drunka weird
on and off sober kind of drunkbut still, my
brain is fuzzy. All I want is sleep and some
cold fresh waterbut first, I have to find my
angry fighter.
***
I dont know how long I walk around the
hotel before I locate Seth in the gym. Im so
stupid. The gym shouldve been the first
place I checked. I hear Seths fists before I
see him. My heart beats harder every time
his fists slam into the bag, pumping hot,

502/723

nervous blood through my veins in record

time.
I stroll past a long line of treadmills and
over to the bags in the far corner by the
weights station. Sure enough, there he is. He
has his naked back to me and he doesnt hear
my approach, which is fine by me. I slip onto
a nearby bench and watch his shapely back
as the muscles tighten and flex while he
works his knuckles into the bag. I see his
body ripple every time he makes contact and
the sound of him expelling air soothes me.
He relaxes with every hit, his body becoming
increasingly tired. Every now and then, hell
realize hes slowing down and then hell pick
up again, sometimes increasing his power
and speed.
After one whole hour of watching him, I
lie down on the bench. My spine aches from
hunching and my eyes grow heavier with
every passing second. My eyes teeter
between alert and sleepy, occasionally falling

503/723

over the edge and allowing me to take a

micro-nap. I wake myself up because I dont
want to fall asleep. I dont want to deal with
this tomorrow. I want it to be over now. Ill
sit up, so I dont fall asleep. My toes twitch at
the thought, but my body refuses to comply.
I give myself a few minutes to gather energy,
but after the sixth attempt of fighting sleep, I
succumb to it, leaving this situation to linger
until tomorrow.

Chapter Seventeen
Seth
My knuckles throb and the skin threatens
to split as I thrust my bare hand into the bag
one last time. How could I have been so
fucking stupid? Im supposed to protect
herto look after herand yet Ive ignored
her calls for the last ten months and neglected to respond to any of her voicemails.
Sweat coats my body and I bend down to retrieve my shirt from the floor. I run it over

505/723

my face and the back of my neck. Where the

fuck is Kye? And why is he letting my little
sister grind naked on poles? The image of
her naked body bombards my mind and I recoil from it. How could I have let this happen? My baby sisterdancing naked for
money. I grit my teeth and draw myself to
full height. Shes not stepping another goddamn toe in a strip club, not if I have anything to do with it.
I turn around, ready to make my way back
to the room, but Im stopped dead in my
tracks by a passed out Olivia. The sight of her
tired body almost brings me to my knees.
She followed me down here? How long has
she been lying on that hard bench?
I remember smashing all of the breakable
things upstairs and I remember her leaning
against the wall. Shed never admit it, but I
could see the absolute fear in her eyes, like
she was scared I was going to turn on her like
a wild dog. Sometimes I overreact and smash

506/723

thingsand the thought of her seeing me so

mad kills me. I dont want her to fear me, or
to fear pissing me off. She should feel safe,
always, and Id never hurt her physically.
Shes so small compared to meits funny
how someone so small can completely incapacitate me.
I approach Olivias sleeping form and the
urge to wake her up and tell her how sorry I
am eats at me. I wanted to clear this up before she fell asleep. All I needed was a little
more time. When I get like thisall anxious
and crazy, I cant talk. The mere thought of
trying to explain or even listen to people try
and explain things to me while Im so wound
up is infuriating. I need to be left with my
thoughts and space to work through it alone.
If I dont, I end up saying and doing stupid
shit Ill regret when Im calm. Seeing her all
exhausted and alone makes me anxious and I
contemplate waking her just so she can look

507/723

at me with her green eyesthen I know the

pressure in my chest will dissipate.
In the morning, Ill tell her everything. As
much as it kills me to even think about, Ill
tell Olivia that my sister is apparently a stripper at The Spearmint Rhino. Shell
understand.
I throw my t-shirt over my shoulder and
bend down, scooping Olivia up into my arms.
She barely bats an eyelid. Theres no way
shes waking up, she drank way too hard tonightand hows Jacksons fucking form?
He has never, ever, let anything slip about
me beforeever. Hes used to people pressuring him for info on my personal life and
he has never slipped up, not once, but the
one time I needed him to keep his mouth
shut, he speaks. What if he ruined everything
for me and O? Olivia isnt your usual girl.
Shes confusing. Shes one big bag of emotions and tricks. Anything you say or do can
provoke a different reaction every time. This

508/723

time, she was cool with itwhich was one

hundred percent unexpected considering her
reaction to the girl at the restaurant. If she
decided to flip and leave, I dont know what I
wouldve done. But she shrugged it off like it
was no big deal and I dont know whether I
should feel bad or relieved. I know Selena
sees Olivia as weak because she bends to my
every command, but thats not weakness.
Olivia is anything but weak. Sure, she stayed
with her douche ex for a ridiculous amount
of time after he cheated on her repeatedly,
but that isnt weakness, either. That is fucking strength. I couldnt handle constantly
looking at the face of someone who betrayed
me. Its not her fault. Olivia is a romantic.
She sees love in everyone and ignites it in
those who care to know her. She believes
people can change even if they prove to her a
million times that they wont. I think thats
why she can be so flighty at times. She
doesnt know what to be mad at and what to

509/723

let go. Blade has done a very good job at

training her to deflect her emotions onto
random things. Things that should upset her
dont and things that dont really matter, she
freaks out over. Its like her emotions go into
hyper drive and she doesnt know how to express them. She so desperately tries to give
everyone everything they need that she
doesnt realize when people are helping her
and when people are attacking her.
I sigh and dip my lips toward Olivias
damp head and I kiss it. Hopefully, Ill always be around to help. So much for a perfect time in Vegas to erase all of her doubts
of marrying me. Its barely day one and Ive
already made a huge mess of it. I pull her
tighter into my chest and glance down at her
face. I dont want morning to come because
Im afraid to look her in the face when she
wakes up. What if Ive left it too long and the
damage is already done?

510/723

***
My arms ache by the time I get Olivia back
to the bedroom. The blue glowing numbers
on the bedside table signifies its two a.m.
but I cant sleep. I cant sleep knowing my
little sister is still out and about in this
fucked up city. I dont know where Kye is,
but when I see him, hes a fucking dead man.
I lie her down on the right side of the bed.
Normally, thats my side of the bed, but since
Ive started sleeping with Olivia, Ive opted
for the left because she also likes the right
side. I pull a light sheet over her and she
shifts onto her side. If I ignore the slight furrow between her brows, she looks peaceful.
I turn from the bed and leave the room. I
drop my t-shirt on the stairs and sit down
with a loud exhale. I know I should be trying
to get some sleep now, considering I have a
formal dinner tonight (technically) but I
cant sleep, not after tonight, and definitely

511/723

not after seeing my sister naked, dancing on

a pole. I have to go back and get her. No sister of mine will dance for moneyand what
pisses me off the most is that its all my fault.
I ignored her calls and I refused to get back
to her because Im too damn stubborn for my
own good. Ive been so caught up in how my
life was going that I didnt care to know how
Maddis was panning out.
I reach for my shirt and pull it over my
head. Its a little wrinkled and damp, but its
going to have to do. I use the rail to pull myself to my feet and I stomp down the rest of
the stairs. When I get to the door, I pull it
open and instantly my stomach sinks into itself in both anger and relief. Shes clothed, at
least, in a loose t-shirt and a pair of tight,
black skinny jeans. My eyes zero in on a
small trail of inked lady birds that appear to
be strolling along her collar bone.

512/723

Dont look at them like that, Maddi

scoffs, pushing past me and into the room.
Theyre cute.
I fight the urge to mock her as I shut the
door and turn around, leaning my back
against it. I watch her as she stuffs her hands
into the back pocket of her jeans and strolls
around the main room, assessing all of the
damage with an amused smirk on her lips.
Still smashing things when youre upset,
I see.
Skip the bullshit, Maddi, I snap. What
the fuck?
She tucks one side of her long black hair
behind her ear, all while her brown eyes
glare at me. Now you want to talk? Do I
have to show up unannounced just so youll
talk to me?
I shake my head.
Ten months. For ten months Ive been
calling you for help, but you ignored me.

513/723

I push off of the door. Ive been

busylook where youre standing. It took me
a lot of time, money, and effort to get here.
Maddi flinches, her eyes narrow into accusing slits. I couldnt give two shits if Im
standing in the Queens palace right now.
The material items you have mean nothing
to me. She strolls toward the kitchen. You
couldnt even spare one second for your sister? Familyhave you ever heard of the fucking word?
She leans against the white, square kitchen island and plucks a grape off its bunch
before popping it into her mouth.
I know that word better than you. You
left me to deal with Mom when you knew she
and I have a difficult relationship.
Maddi smiles. She fucking smiles at me.
And hows that going for you?
Hows that going? Shes in a rehab facility
in California. Thats how its going.

514/723

Her posture stiffens. And you didnt

think to call and tell me that?
You wanted nothing to do with her after
she hit you. Why would I call you? So you
can tell me you dont care?
Of course I fucking care! Shes still my
mother.
I shrug my shoulders and she rolls her
eyes at my attitude. Why does she always
make me feel like a child? God knows we argue like children. Anyway, going over this is
pointlessit wont change anything. It wont
get Mom out of rehab or magically fix
Maddis stripping problem.
Where the hell is Kye? I ask her. I want
to see him.
And just like that, I see the color drain
from her face. Even her bright red lipstick
lessens in its hue.
I dont know where he is.
Shes lying. I can tell by the way she averts
her gaze and her eyelids flutter.

515/723

Dont play with me, Maddison. Ill go out

and search every shitty bar in this city until I
find him.
She doesnt move and I let a few seconds
pass. When I know she isnt going to tell me,
I move for the door. Im not fucking around.
When I say Im going to do something, I do
it. Period. As my fingers curl around the cool
metal of the door handle, she breaks.
Stop!
Slowlyalmost triumphantlyI turn
around. She starts to pick nervously at her
red nail polish. Kye doesnt know that I strip
for cash.
What? My voice comes out in a loud
boom, making Maddi jump and undoubtedly
waking Olivia. He doesnt know? Who takes
you to and from work? Who protects you?
I do it all myself, Im not a child anymore. Im twenty-one.
Hearing her say it the way she does
sounds anything but grown up. I dont see

516/723

her as twenty-one. I see her as the little girl I

grew up with. In my mind, she doesnt drink
or have sexor get tattoos. Shes supposed to
be the good child
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
Have I become the good child?
Why? I breathe, running my hands over
my face. Out of everything you could do,
why stripping?
She shrugs. Its expensive in Vegas. The
touristy prices are ridiculous and well, Ive
got the body for it.
I scowl at her.
Its only temporary, she adds. until Kye
and his band gets picked up.
Yeahtheres no way Im relying on that
talentless asshole to help you out of this situation. I spin on the heel of my foot and
march up the stairs, ignoring my sister

517/723

calling after me. I can fix thisall I have to

do is find my goddamn checkbook.
I dig around in my suitcase, locating it underneath a few pairs of socks. When I turn
around, my gaze skims over the bed and I see
Olivias tired face blinking at me. I cant help
but smile. I like seeing her dazed, its cute.
She opens her mouth to say something, but I
cut her off.
If you give me ten minutes, Ill be right
back with the answer to any question you
want to ask me.
I tear from the room before she responds.
I want to come through on my promise of ten
minutes. Olivia has waited enough on my account tonight and she still has no idea who
Maddi is to me. The last she saw, I was on
the stage at the Spearmint Rhino trying to
pull a girl off of it and then I refused to talk
to herman, am I shaping up to be dickbag
of the year or what?

518/723

Downstairs, Maddi is still pigging out on

grapes and I ignore the way she peels them
from their skin. Old habits never die. I detach the pen from my checkbook and lay the
book flat against the table top. Ill give her
thirty thousand dollars. That should keep her
out of the clubs for a few weeks and when
she runs out, Ill give her more and more and
more until she realizes Kye and his lame
dream isnt going anywhere and drops his
loser ass.
What are you doing? Maddi asks me
curiously as I sign away tens of thousands of
dollars.
What does it look like? Im giving you
money.
Thats not why I came here.
I ignore the offended tone in her voice.
Maybe not, but since you did, youre not
leaving here until you take the money and
promise me youll stop stripping.
And if I dont take your money?

519/723

Maddi. I shake my head, shes always misunderstanding my demands for questionslike Olivia.
Take the money, stop stripping, and I
wont tell Kye about your temporary lapse in
judgment.
I rip the paper from the book and fold it
once, then twice, before I extend it to her.
She doesnt take it from my hand, only
glances at it.
Are you seriously blackmailing me into
taking your money?
If you take it, I wont have to.
Her brown eyes stay locked on mine for a
few long seconds before she expels an exhale
and takes the money from me. As soon as the
money leaves my fingertips, weight is lifted
from my shoulders.
I knew youd come through for
meeventually. You always do.
I nod. No more silence between us. I
want you to know that you can contact me

520/723

whenever you want and not get pushed to

the side.
I feel her head nod against me as she pats
my back. I notice her brown eyes are swimming with tears when she pulls back and she
stubbornly wipes them away. Its nice. I like
helping my little sisterwhen Im not being
a total dick and ignoring her, that is.
You wanna go get something to eat?
Theres a good pizza place a few corners
away from here.
I rake my fingers through my hair and
glance at the clock. Three minutes is all I
have until I return to Olivia and I need to explain everything to her. I dont want her
waiting a second longer than she has to.
I have to get back upstairs
Maddis pretty face contorts into a cringe,
like Ive given her too much information.
Sorry, I shouldve known youd have
company.
Its not that kind of company.

521/723

She smirks, pulling a final grape from the

bunch and peeling it between her long nails.
Its always that kind of company when it
comes to you.
Not this time, I reply and I even smile a
little. Shes different.
She cocks her head to the side, like an adorable puppy. Is my big bro finally settling
down? I want to meet her! She drops the
remnants of her grape, bounces past me and
toward the stairs, but I snag her tiny arm and
pull her back before she makes any real progress. Olivia is unaware of Maddi. She knows
her as the stripper I flipped out over and
having that same girl sprinting up the stairs
to say hi isnt going to help anyone.
You can meet her when Im not in the
doghouse for trying to pull a stripper off a
stage.
Maddi frowns. She doesnt know Im
your sister?

522/723

Not yet, but Im going to tell her in I

glance at the clock. Forty seconds.
She flashes her palms at me, stepping
backwards. Then dont let me hold you
back. Her lips curl into an adoring smile.
Im glad you ran into me tonight. Its nice to
clear the air.
I smile at her and she steps past me.
Where are you going? I ask. Its late,
crash on the couch for the night.
She shakes her head, not slowing her pace
to the door.
Cant, Maddi calls over her shoulder as
she opens the door. I have to meet Kye at
three a.m. Love you, bro.
She steps out and closes it behind her,
leaving me with seven seconds to spare.
Without a second thought, I rip my shirt over
my head and bolt for the stairs. I clear them
one, twonothree steps at a time and slam
to a halt before I reach the door. I take a
second for myself, swallowing hard and

523/723

dropping my shirt to the floor. In my back

pocket, I feel my phone vibrate. Its been vibrating all night. Darryl knows better than to
show up here tonight. He knows Olivia is the
only person I want to be around right now
and when I sleep, my phone going unanswered, hell know that Im okay because
Im with her.
The door creaks a little as I open it and
slip through, locking us in a pitch black
room.
O? I whisper, almost tripping over a
bunch of random clothes as I make my way
over to the bed. You awake?
II think so. She yawns and I hear the
bed sheets ruffle before a choked yelp and finally a relieved exhale. Shit. She breathes.
I almost fell off the bed.
I chuckle under my breath. Hold on, Im
coming.
I lean forward, my arms extended, searching for the gigantic bed. My fingertips brush

524/723

against the mattress and I push forward until

the palms of my hands are planted firmly. I
straighten my posture and fidget with my
buttons, unable to get my jeans off quick
enough. When they pool at my feet, I kick
themsomewhereand slide onto the bed.
On my side, the fabric remains cool and untouched, but when I slip under the blankets
and shuffle toward Olivia, its warm and inviting. I reach out and touch the bare skin of
her stomach. Shes taken her dress off and
the thought of her lying next to me in her underwear has me hard and ready. My blood
pools in the only place it knows how when
shes around and the pressure hurts. I pull
her against me, hooking a leg over the
blanket and hiding my hard cock from her.
She squirms forward, pushing her head right
into the gap between my neck and shoulder,
oblivious to how hard Im trying to keep a
rather eager part of my anatomy away from
her.

525/723

You said you were going to tell me

everything.
I nod, kissing her ear. I did.
Then please startyoure the only one
who can take away the sick feeling in my
stomachor make it worse.
My poor girl. Shes been so worried this
whole time. I need to make her feel better.
She needs to know shes the only girl I love,
the only girl Ive ever loved and the only girl
Ill ever love.
I really wish tonight didnt happenI
wanted you to have fun.
And I did have fun, she counters. Until
we got to the strip clubI think Im going to
stay away from them from now on. They only
seem to ruin my night, not enhance it.
I see theres no point in warming up,
straight to it then. The girl was my sister.
At the strip club? The disbelief is clear in
her voice. Your sister?

526/723

Yeah. Maddiit turns out shes a stripper

at The Spearmint Rhino. I exhale. She just
left hereI gave her money, so heres hoping
she never takes her clothes off for cash ever
again.
Olivia pulls back from me and I can feel
her trying to decipher my expression in the
dark. When she realizes its too dark to see
anything, her hands fly to my waist and she
presses herself into me. I thought you
It doesnt matter what you thought, I tell
her. I dont want to hear how little she thinks
of my loyalty to her and I dont think I can
handle hearing such doubtful words from
herat any stage in our relationship. Olivias
trust levels are naturally low and I guess I
dont blame her. We all know Blade was a
douchebag, with a douchebag name to boot,
and if I have to spend the rest of my life gaining her trust because of him, then bring it on.
I like a challenge and Ill love the look on her
face when Im on my deathbed and she sees

527/723

that Ive been faithful to her every single

second of our relationship. What matters is
that its sorted out now and Im here with
you.
Will I meet her? O asks, her voice
slightly hesitant. I want to tell her how close
she came to meeting her, but decide against
it.
I shrug. Sooner or later.
Is she anything like you?
Is Maddi anything like me? Shes tough
with too much attitude for her own good.
Shes over-confident to the point of being
crazily egotistical and she Shes a hell of a
lot like me. I laugh, realizing how similar we
are.
Then I think well get on just fine.
I smile at the thought of Maddi and Olivia
having girl time, doing girly things like
shopping and whatever else it is that women
do when they hang out together. Knowing
Maddi, itll be mimosas and a baseball

528/723

gameor whatever hippie music festival is

on. Olivia will have her work cut out for her
when shes tries to keep up with my sister.
Shes full of life, never turning down an opportunity and never taking a breather. I
think Olivia will appreciate my lifestyle a lot
more after experiencing Maddis.
I shift my body weight forward, resting
against Olivia. Sorry for scaring youand
for not talking to you. I twist the tip of my
index finger in her hair, causing the ends to
wrap around me. Im not used to expressing
myselfyou make it easier for me, but sometimes I cant. I dont know why. I dont have
a reason for being the way I amnot everyone has a horrible back story. Do I need one?
Do I need to have a dark, horrifying past to
be the way I am? Why am I this way if I grew
up okay? I dont fucking know, but what I do
know is, breaking things, swearing, fucking,
punchingall of itit helps me. It helps me
when Im mad, sad, anxious, and depressed.

529/723

Does that make me psycho because Im not

reliving some twisted past? Shit. I have no
idea.
Its not okay, she mumbles. Its unhealthy and it leaves too much room for miscommunication. If Id have left tonight
I flinch inwardly at the thought.
because you werent talking to
mewhat wouldve happened between us?
Dont you think a situation like that would
inflict too much damage on our
relationship?
But you didnt leave, I tell her, my voice
takes a cold, dark edge, on purpose, to make
a point. She cant leave me, I wont let her.
Why?
Its simple, I love you, but that doesnt
mean Im invincible to the hurtful things you
do. And its because I love you these things
hurt me more than they should.

530/723

I untangle my finger from her hair and

drag it down her spine to the small of her
warm back.
The last thing I ever want to do is hurt
you, but there are certain ways I handle
things, I confess. When Im mad, I need
time and space. I need to work it out of my
system.
So work it out another wayby, I dont
know, kissing me or somethinganything
other than what youre doing now.
Kissing you isnt going to work, I say. I
need something fast, to work the anxiety and
anger out of my system.
Olivia pulls back from me. Kissing me
wont work?
No. And I truly dont think it will. Im so
used to doing it my way, its too late to try
anything new.
Her warm, feminine hands slide up my
bare stomach and my muscles clench as her

531/723

delicate fingers rest on my chest. But when I

touch you, you feel better?
A cool, calming buzz melts through my
hot veins under her touch. Yeah, but thats
when Im feeling anxious, not exceptionally
pissed off.
Lets try it.
Olivia, its not going to
Seth, she replies, mimicking my tone.
Do it.
But its not going to wo
Do it.
Shes pricking at my frustration levels and
I know shes doing it on purpose. Its awfully
cocky of her to think her lips are the answer
to everything, but if she wants me to kiss her,
then fine, Ill kiss her with everything I have.
My fingers fall from her back before they
bury themselves in her hair. I tighten my
grip and she gasps against the pain as I tug
her head backwards and roll my body on top
of her, making sure she feels me everywhere.

532/723

I press her hard into the mattress, one of my

thighs resting firmly between her legs and
against her sweet, warm spot. My mouth
lingers less than an inch from hers and her
breath hits my face in a quick, anxious pant.
You think your lips can help me? I ask.
Her pouty, marshmallow-like lips curl. I
know they can.
I crush my lips to hers and her mouth
opens willingly underneath mine. As soon as
her tongue glides against mine and she
wraps her hands around my neck, Im lost.
Adrift from my original intentwhich Im
sure was to prove her wrong, yet here I am,
completely captivated by the taste and feel of
her. Maybe shes right. I shouldnt push her
away when Im mad. I should pull her closer
and let her calm me. I trace the curve of her
soft little body with my hand before gripping
her thigh and hooking it over my hip. Forgetting the fact I was previously hiding my

533/723

erection from her, I shamelessly press it into

her, letting her know exactly how bad I want
it.
Easy Olivia giggles against my mouth,
pressing her hands firmly against my chest. I
rake my teeth over her bottom lip and release it. We have a dinner to go to tonight
and sleep is a more viable option than sex.
Shes right. Its the morning and Im beyond tiredI want to sleep, but I want her
more. I can assure you well be finished by
tomorrow night. I drop my mouth to her
neck, licking her flesh and eliciting a half
moan-half giggle from her.
She pushes against me, forcing me away
from her body. Olivia laughs once under her
breath. Im telling you to get off me and go
to sleep, not asking.
I pull back. Im unable to see her face in
the dark, but Im certain I hear her smile.
Cheeky little minx. I roll off her and onto my
back. Instantly, she melts into my side,

534/723

wrapping an arm over my waist. I pull her

closer, but it still feels like shes too far away.
How does your own medicine taste? she
chuckles, ending it with a quick, sleepy yawn.
Bitter, like that gross cherry shit youre
force fed as a kid.
She laughs and it vibrates my ribcageit
also makes me smile. Olivia has the funniest,
cutest, strangest laugh Ive ever heard. Its
halfway between a giggle and an actual
laughand most times, it sounds kind of
nervous. I love it; the sound of it is addicting.
Soon, the room falls silent and I feel her
arm become heavier as she falls deep into
sleep. My eyes grow heavier as I follow
quickly behind her. Tonight, well attend a
formal dinner downstairs in the function
room. Theres no purpose to it other than to
shake hands and meet other fighters, but Im
excited (and a little nervous) to officially be
welcomed into the professional community.
Tonights dinner isnt just about me, either.

535/723

Its about Darryl and Jackson. After tonight

theyll formally be recognized as legitimate
trainers and team members of the MMAC,
something I know theyve both been looking
forward to. They deserve it. Olivias heavy
breathing filters through my ears and eradicates my thoughts. It lulls me nearer to sleep
and I shift closer to her, absorbing the
warmth of her soft skin. I will never ignore
Olivia again. Im going to try my hardest to
share my emotions with her, I tell myself before I fall over the edge into sleep. Ive
already told her I loved her, how hard can
the rest be?

Chapter Eighteen
Olivia
The bathroom door creaks as Seth leans
his weight against it.
Were going to be late. He sighs, tapping
his fingers against the wood in a cute, fast
beat.
I roll my eyes and adjust the beaded
purple straps. How is he dressed already?
Ive barely been in here five minutes. And the
dinner is downstairs in the function room by

537/723

the arena. I pull my phone off the counter

and check the time. Oh! It turns out Ive been
in here going on forty minutes. Its not my
fault Im moving slo-mo. Seth and I went to
bed sometime this morning and only woke
up two hours ago. I dont drink coffee, either,
so being a normal human being at tonights
dinner is becoming less realistic by the
minute. We slept until late in the afternoon
and when we checked our phones, they were
full of messages and missed calls from the
rest of the crew. Seth had a lot of calls to
make once he woke and I replied to Selenas
myriad of demanding text messages. Now,
were getting ready for dinner. Nerves chew
their way through my stomach lining at the
thought of being there on Seths arm. Thats
why I needed the perfect dress, so I dont
look so out of place next to his beyond gorgeous face.
I smooth my hands over the satin fabric
against my thighs. The dress is perfect, to say

538/723

the least and my long chocolate hair that Ive

curled into subtle waves adds that extra
touch of elegance. I remind myself of a Cadbury chocolate bar. I twirl once, careful not
to roll my ankle in these ridiculously high
heels, and when Im sure Ive finished, I unlock the bathroom door, meeting Seths suitclad back. The fabric is crisp and straight,
following the same shade of his hairjet
black. He turns around and I visibly see air
being forced from his lungs. His eyebrows
lift and his lips partthe exact reaction I was
hoping for. Forgetting me, I take in his entire
form. The white shirt under his black jacket
clings to his chest and you just know theres
a killer body hiding underneath it. I
nervously run the tips of my fingers along my
neck. I feel like Im wearing a collar and its
suddenly choking me. He looksthere are no
words. In the suit, he looks mischievous.
Like hes ready to do indecent, naughty

539/723

things at the drop of a hat and hide it behind

his classy suit.
Now I feel bad, he says, finally speaking
and raking his fingers through his hair.
Instinctively, I step forward, pressing my
hands against his chest and under his black
tie. Why?
He reaches for my chest and runs a single,
thick finger underneath the beaded strap. He
avoids my eyes and miraculously comes off
as indifferent. Because you spent money on
a dress Im only going to destroy. His eyes
flick from my chest to my eyes to gauge my
reaction. But I promise Ill make it worth
every single dollar you spent.
Ive already kissed the dress goodbye. His
rough hands, wet tongue, and hard body
feels better on my skin than any fabric ever
couldeven one as expensive as this.
Theres a knock at the door and my breath
catches in my throat. Our friends have impeccable timing. I suppose them showing up

540/723

is a good thing. Five seconds longer and I

would have torn the dress myself.
Ready? He smiles, extending his elbow
to me.
Lets do it.
He leads me out of the bedroom, down the
stairs, and over to the front door. He wastes
no time in yanking it open and exposing our
glamorous friends. Selena takes one look at
my dress and launches forward, pulling me
into her arms. Oh my God, O! she squees.
You look amazing.
Selenas black silk gown has Vegas written
all over it. She releases me and adjusts one of
her tiny pearl earrings. Her golden hair is
tied up in an elegant bun on the top of her
head with strategic strands that spill from it.
I admire her dressits a halter neck with a
plunging neckline. It clings to her waist and
goes wide at the skirt. From mid-thigh to the
floor, theres a huge slit, exposing the majority of her tan, slim leg.

541/723

Wow, look at you, Ms. Angelina Jolie, I

say, taking a step back.
I think Selena would even look amazing in
a tartan patterned plastic bag. She looks elegant, but at the same time, casual, and I
wonder if she spent half as long as I did getting ready. Who am I kidding? She probably
spent the whole day preparing herself for the
dinner.
So that girl was Seths sister? Selena
whispers to me when Darryl and Jackson
pull Seth to the side and scold him quietly
for last night.
I nod and fidget with the thin, silver
bracelet on my wrist. YeahMaddi. Did
Jackson tell you?
Yep. I bet he never saw that coming.
I laugh once. Did you see his reaction? Of
course he didnt see it coming.
She inches closer to me. Darryl had a
cleaner come up today and clean all of the
glass. I look over my shoulder. All of the

542/723

destruction is gone. Theres no trace of what

happened last night when Seth and I came
home. Are you okay?
Im fine. Howd Darryl know he smashed
things?
She shrugs. He knows how Seth is.
Jesus. How regularly does he smash
things?
Theres a hefty bill Seth has to foot when
we leave here, though. The hotel is not impressed and even contacted the MMAC.
Darryl has been apologizing on Seths behalf
since last night.
I shake my head. I guess thats what
Darryl and Jackson are talking to Seth about.
I look at him, theres the faintest hint of a
smirk on the side of his lips and Darryl
watches him in exasperation. Theres no getting through to Seth. I find myself smiling at
him. He does what he wants and explains
himself to nobodyexcept me. Im his exception and I guess deep down, I love arguing

543/723

with him. I like riling him up and watching

him become aggressive and demanding.
Granted, its not the hobby Im most proud
of, but its definitely one that excites me
above all others. With a swift nod of his
head, Seth steps away from Darryl and Jackson, focusing his eyes on me.
I must be still smiling at him because he
angles his head ever so slightly, his eyes flaring that over-confident gleam of his. I feel
heat pool in my cheeks and flood down the
back of my throat before settling in random
spots, sending waves of hot flushes through
me. I hate getting caught looking at him. He
never lets me live it down. Thankfully, he
doesnt say a word in front of the others. I
couldnt handle it if they started pointing it
out, too.
I know I look at Seth a lot, but give me a
break! Hes kind of hard to ignore and Im
only human. I cant be held accountable for

544/723

the decisions my hormones make while they

hold my brain at gun point.
Selena, Darryl, and Jackson stroll from
the room and once again, Seth extends his elbow to me.
Are you ready, baby? he asks me gruffly.
I dont take his elbow straight away and I
dont answer because this isnt about me.
This is about him. Im just here for moral
support.
Are you ready? Because this is
iteverything youve worked so hard for has
led to this moment.
His eyes never leave mine as he ponders
my words. Tonight is going to change both
our lives. I need to know if youre ready for
that. If youre not, Ill shut this door right
now and we can go back to bed. But if youre
ready He glances down at his extended elbow. Well go.
I slip my fingers around his large arm,
feeling it all before hooking my elbow around

545/723

his. Im ready. I exhale with a steady

breath.
He smiles widely. Me too.

Chapter Nineteen
Seth
The function room is immaculate and beside me I hear Olivias breath catch. I take
note of all of the things her eyes linger on for
more than five secondsthe glass water drop
chandeliers, the large pane-free windows
and gold edged paintings of some countryside. All of them Im going to find and put
in our house. I want to see her smile and
hear her breath catch every time she enters

547/723

our family home. I quickly notice Im not the

only one watching Olivia, either. There are
loads of beautiful women here in dresses
more provocative and edgy than Olivias, and
still the prying eyes of seedy men linger.
Every eye in this room snaps towards her,
they devour her every dip and curve, but she
pays them no attention. She looks up at me
and I feel the tension leave my shoulders
once our eyes meet. I drop my elbow and
grip her waist instead, guiding her with my
hand away from the center of the room before I lash out at someone I shouldnt.
Selena and Jackson disappear immediately and Darryl leaves to do his rounds, introducing himself to all of the right people,
people that could help my professional career with their knowledge, skills, and endless
amounts of money. I dont need any of it, but
Darryl thinks its always good to have contacts. You never know when things will go
sour and if they do, its good to have

548/723

powerful people behind you, Darryl always

says and maybe hes right. A woman, holding
a large plate of wine glasses, comes to a stop
in front of Olivia and I and we both cringe
away from it, still feeling the effects of last
nightwellthis
morning,
technically.
Theres another reason I avoid alcoholthe
hangover. The pound of my brain against the
front of my skull hurts.
My eyes flick to a light grey suit, pushing
through the sea of black suits and colorful
dresses. I recognize the tall, chubby man instantly. Matthew Somer, the CEO of the
MMAC. Hes doing pretty well for himself for
someone so youngforty threemaybe. He
runs his fingers quickly over his black/grey
hair and stalks toward us. Olivia slips from
my grasp, slightly, but I tighten my hand and
hold her against me. I dont want her walking around without me.

549/723

Seth! Matt cheers, clapping his hands

together twice before extending one to me.
Good to see you, man.
You too, I tell him. Ive only met Matt
once and that was when we were signing my
six figure MMAC contract. His eyes pass over
me and onto Olivia.
Im Matt, he says, smiling wide and
wolfish, making his skin crease around the
eyes.
Olivia smiles back, as friendly and as
beautiful as ever. Olivia, she tells him as he
extends his hand to her.
Olivia, its nice to meet you. He clears
his throat and they shake hands briefly. Do
you mind if Seth and I have a quick, private
discussion?
Under my hand, I feel her body sag with
relief, but it never shows on her face.
Not a problem. She turns to me. Come
find me later.

550/723

I nod and it takes all my strength to pry

my fingers from their snug position on her
hip. Matt watches Olivia walk away, unashamedly enjoying the way her hips sway.
He shakes his head and turns back to me.
Luckily for him, another passing tray of wine
swings by us and I pull one off to busy my
hands and prevent them from lashing at out.
The women this sport gets you is insane.
Fucking nines and tens, I swear.
Like he knows anything about nines and
tens. To him, nines and tens are the girls
everyone has hadthe girls everyone wants.
Those arent tens, take it from me, a ten is a
girl who respects herself, who doesnt ruin
her body with vain necessities and endless
strokes of cock.
She was my woman before I made pro, I
tell him, avoiding eye contact. I draw the
glass to my lips and take a sip. I cant believe
Im drinking fucking wine to avoid punching
out my boss. I hate wine. Ive always hated

551/723

wine, and yet I let the fruity liquid linger for

a few seconds on my tongue before I swallow
it. You wanted a private discussion? I
prompt him, eager to ditch him, ditch this
wine, and find Olivia.
He smiles and his hazel eyes flare at me.
Wow, you really are the cocky, not-so-subtle
asshole everyones been warning me about.
I shrug my shoulders. At least hes
straight to the point. I can admire that. I
am.
Self-proclaimed as well, I see?
I smirk at him. If the shoe fits, why not
wear it?
I like you, Matt says, adjusting the cuffs
on his jacket. And its because I like you that
Im choosing not to bring up the fact you
trashed your hotel room last night. He folds
his arms. Youre a fighter, youre full of
testosterone and energy and anger, I get it.
He shifts his weight, leaning closer to me.
But if you so much as reflect negatively on

552/723

this sport and my fucking company, I will

end you as quickly as I made you. Do you
understand?
I bring the wine glass to my lips to hide a
smile. Ive already pissed off the boss and I
havent even started work yet. I sip the foul
liquid and swallow it. The whole time Matts
gaze never drops from mine.
I understand.
Good. He turns and then turns back.
Oh, and by the way, if I want you to fight
Don, you will fight Don. Im the rule maker
in this game. I created them and I can
change them. He rubs his fingers together,
gesturing all of the money he could make off
of us. Think twice before you go against the
MMAC. Don can easily end up the one on
top, not you.
My fingers clench around the slender
stem of the wine glass as Matt stalks away
before camouflaging himself in with everyone else. Not a second later, I ditch my glass

553/723

on a nearby table cluttered with all kinds of

white and leafy decorative crap. I have to
find Olivia, and luckily for me, shes the only
one wearing such a vivid, alluring shade of
purple. I stroll around with my hands stuffed
in my pockets so I dont fidget. Im feeling a
little anxious and I dont know if its because
of Matts words or because I plan to propose
to Olivia tonight. I dont know how many
times Ive planned to ask herIve lost count.
After thirty minutes, I give up and lean
against a wide table next to a couple having a
disagreement. I tune them out, uninterested
in their problems. I let my eyes scan the
roomI look up the wide, long staircases
and along the walls, but I still cant see her.
When Im about to give up and start socializing, a large group of men in black suits
step out of the way and my eyes are drawn to
a purple fabric like a moth to flame. I let
them roam up the length of her legs, over the
curves of her body, and onto the side of her

554/723

face. How does someone look perfect from

every angle? Of course only she can manage
something so mind blowing. I see her and
the two guys shes talking to.
She spots me stalking toward her from her
peripherals and angles her head slightly to
look at me. A nervous blush flashes across
her cheeks and she seems almost scared.
Shit. Am I really that bad? Am I that much
of a jealous asshole? The answers to those
questions I know myself, but Im sure as hell
not going to admit them.
I walk toward her, proud by the way I
keep my cool, and on my approach, when I
slow to a stop beside Olivia, she abruptly
hooks her elbow around mine. Her fingertips
brush against my arm in a soothing gestuream I not doing a good enough job at
looking calm?
This is my boyfriend, Seth, she says, introducing me to them.

555/723

Boyfriend. Boyfriend is not enough for

me. It seems childishhigh schoolish. I want
to be referred to as her fianc, better yet, I
want to be called her husbandso others
know she has given everything to me and
theres no chance in hell for them to get
closer to her. They eye me closely and
onethe one wearing a tan suit and has
blond hair and blue eyes to matchseems
intimidated, but the otherthe one with the
sharp features and shaved headseems almost territorial. He eyes me up and down
like he can take me, no sweat. I wouldnt
fight either of them. Both seem barely
twenty-one.
How long you guys been dating? His
thick Texan accent comes through loud and
clearand it irritates the shit out of me.
Whats it to you? I demand, inching
closer.
Olivia subtly elbows my ribs, but I hardly
feel it.

556/723

A couple of months, she tells him

Thats not too long, he states, his eyes
flaring suggestively at her.
Youre right, it is short. Undoubtedly
shorter than your stay in the hospital if you
keep going with your unsubtle bullshit. I
dont know what it is about him that irks me.
It could be the way his hair juts outwards or
the way his lips curl crookedly when he
speaksor maybe (just for added craziness)its the way hes talking to my girl in
front of me. His blond friendthe smarter
onemutters for his friend to relax, but he
ignores him. The idiot.
You think you can put me in hospital?
I smile because I know I can put him in
hospital.
Jesus Christ, O snaps at him, tugging on
my arm. Dont challenge him.
I dont move, although I know I should.
Im just not finished here. I can see it in his
face how badly he wants Olivia, how

557/723

desperately he wants to impress her and I

want to take that away from him. Without
taking my eyes off him, I snatch Olivias
waist and pull her to me.
You want to fight me for my girl? I ask,
narrowing my eyes on him. He doesnt say
anything, only glares as I continue. You see,
Olivia here likes men, not boys. I wrap my
hands around her waist, feeling the subtle
curves of her body. Your hands are small
and inexperienced. I feel sorry for every girl
that has ever been with you and has
strangely given you the confidence to even
blink at a woman like this. My hands,
however I feel my lips curl devilishly. I
know I shouldnt say it. are experienced.
Theyve made her come more times than you
question
your
sexual
orientation,
whichjudging by your outfitI assume is a
lot. Go away and come back when you know
how to treat Olivia like a real woman.

558/723

Or better yet, Olivia growls, pulling

away from me. Dont.
She stalks off and I dont follow her right
away. I want to, but I want these to assholes
to disperse first. With the dirtiest look Ive
ever received in my life, the douchebags turn
and disappear.
Good.
Making friends everywhere you go, as always. Darryl exhales behind me.
Hes getting pretty good at watching me
from the background without my knowledge
and I smirk over my shoulder at him.
Id go and get her before she leaves.
My smirk fades. Fuck. Now Ive got to find
Olivia and apologize for being an idiot. Its
like one big vicious circle, but I cant help
ithow many times do I use that excuse?
Its true, though. I see someone that wants
her and I feel the need to crush their souls.
The thought of a mental image of Olivia popping into their brains pisses me off. I cant

559/723

explain itand I know its pure, crazy selfishness that has me acting this way, but Ive
never felt the way she makes me feel. Ive
never had the stomach churning, chest levitating love before and now that I have it, I
cant let it go. I wont.
I see her pushing her way through the
throng of people and I march after her,
catching up in no time. I reach out for her,
grabbing her small, fragile wrist and forcing
her to stop and turn around. Her cheeks are
flushed pinkwith embarrassment or anger,
I have no idea.
I told you to stop using me against people
after you did it with Mason, she whispers
harshly, avoiding attention.
I know.
So whyd you do it?
I dont think she or anyone will ever understand that I dont have reasons for anything that I do. I do it. Thats it.
Because that guy was a douchebag.

560/723

Seth
Let me show you something.
She frowns. What? Now?
I nod as excitement begins to pool inside
me. I grit my teeth against a smile that
threatens my lips. Now is the perfect time to
unleash what I want to do on her.
Is it going to make up for what you just
did?
I promise.
She studies my face for a few seconds and
I wonder if she can read my thoughts. Im
taking her to the Garden Arena where Ill
fight Junior Moset and Im going to let her in
the cagethen Im going to ask her to be my
wife.

Chapter Twenty
Olivia
He leads me away from the gala and
nervousness replaces my previous frustration. Are we even allowed back here?
Where are we going? I wonder aloud as
he escorts me up a corridor, his hand low on
the small of my back.
Youll see, is all he says as he glances
sideways at me.

562/723

In that quick glance, I saw it. I saw his

eyes flash with indecent excitement and heat
spreads through my organs. The wild gleam
in his eyes doesnt pass me by, and as he
pushes through some double service doors, I
follow behind him. After a few more steps
Im suddenly standing in the Garden Arena
looking down on the intimidating cage. My
chest tightens and I grip the black metal railing for support. I havent been in a stadium
in a few months and being back both terrifies
and electrifies me.
Seth clears his throat and I snap my attention to him. His hand is extended and his
eyes clearly reflect the positive emotions he
feels.
Were going down there? I ask, taking
one step.
He doesnt say anything, only nods. The
weak lighting barely filters off the plastic
chairs and to think in two weeks this place is
going to be as bright as day and filled with

563/723

thousands upon thousands of screaming

people bewilders me.
Seth walks with purpose, pulling me along
behind him as he leads me through rows of
seats and down concrete stairs. The closer I
get to the cage, the larger it seems, and the
larger it seems, the more the apprehension
of what Seth does settles in. Im with a fighterHow the hell did that happen and what
the hell is wrong with me? I dont like fighting and I never have, so how the hell did I
fall for a fighter?
The tall cage looms over me, distracting
me from my thoughts. I gape up at the monstrous structure. Ive never been this close to
a cage beforea real cage, I mean. Ive seen
Seths training one plenty of times, but it
doesnt intimidate me like this one does.
Seth moves from me and up the small
steps before opening the cage door. He
smiles down at me with those gorgeous goddamn lips and says, After you.

564/723

He gestures for me to enter the cage with

one gentle swipe of his hand.
Me? I almost glance over my shoulder.
Am I allowed to go in there?
We can do whatever we want. Whos going to know?
The way he says itwith such promisehas my stomach doing flips and I inch
forward. When the tip of my shoe hits the
bottom step of the ring, I halt and look up at
him.
Scared? he asks.
Should I be?
His irises flare at me and his mouth curls
into a cocky smirk. Absolutely.
My body reacts as if he said, no, I
shouldnt be scared. Its like he has me under
some kind of spell. I ascend the steps and
inch forward until Im standing firmly on the
vinyl flooring. The floor doesnt bounce or
bow underneath my weight. How hard do
these guys slam each other to make it

565/723

bounce so much? I do a full circle, taking in

the view from this spot. How amazing would
it be to see the arena filled with people from
where Im standing? Even now, when its just
Seth and I, adrenaline flows through my
veins like rapid-fire, making my head spin. I
circle the ring slowly, letting my fingers glide
over the vinyl baked wiring. Halfway around,
I run out of breath. Not because Im tired,
but because Im overwhelmed by the size of
it all. I rest against the cage, letting the cold
metal cool my burning skin. I drag my eyes
around the ring before settling on Seths
face.
I see why you love being on this side of
the wire, I wonder aloud, feeling a hot flush
flow through me as he pushes himself off of
the cage door. Its amazing from here.
The door closes behind him with a light
slam and I watch as he hooks a finger around
his black tie, loosening it. I swallow hard and
subtly squeeze my thighs together as a

566/723

familiar pulsing startsthe pulsing only Seth

can arouse. Only he can provoke such feelings with one painfully normal act. I expel a
slow, heavy breath as he saunters toward me.
Theres no mistaking the way he walkshe
wants me and he wants me now.
Seth stops once his hard body grazes mine
and his hand wraps around my wrist, pinning it above my head. Being within a foot of
him, I feel my body come alive, humming as
pure sexual energy starts to take over. Our
eyes stay locked as he pulls his tie from the
collar of his white formal shirt. The soft silk
of his tie glides against skin and I frown.
What is he doing? The fabric bites into my
wrist and I lurch forward, rebounding off his
large torso and ending flush up against the
cage again.
Seth! I gasp, tugging at my wrist and
getting nowhere. What are you doing?
He works the fabric around the wires of
the cage, ignoring me. The whole time I

567/723

watch him, panicked by whats happening,

he has a mischievous, smoldering gleam in
his eyes.
When hes done successfully tethering me
to the cage, he runs his rough fingers up my
sensitive forearm, sending heat inducing
tingles tearing through my body. I can just
make out his features under the glow of security lights and exit signs as his hands slide
onto the nape of my neck and his lips crash
to mine. My body melts to his as he presses
me hard against the wire and all is well and
fun until his fingers slide across my waist
and clasp the zipper to my dress. I pull away
from him, breathless.
The zipper begins its painfully slow descent and my nerves rise. I flinch away from
his hand in an attempt to get him to stop.
Easy, he scolds me. Im already trying
hard not to rip this thing at the seams.
Someone will see us

568/723

He stops and looks me dead in the eyes.

You think Id put you on show for someone
else to see? No. Youre all mine.
Using my free hand, I squeeze it between
us and reach to untie the tie, but Im stopped
as he yanks my hand away. I squirm as he
presses it against the cage above my head,
right next to the other and his free hand slips
into my dress, clamping on my bare hip.
Why here? Why cant you wait until we
get home?
He lowers his head, bringing his full lips
to my ear. His breath hits my face and its
like fire lapping at my nerves, singeing and
burning my insides.
Why wait? he breathes, his hand tightening around my hip. I fight here and I
want to fuck here.
I dont have time to reactor even
frownbefore his mouth claims me for a
second time. I shiver as his rough hand
skims my bare flesh. He tugs my dress down

569/723

and it pools in a purple mess at my feet.

Kissing me harder than Ive ever been kissed
before, his hands roam my body, harshly
grabbing and squeezing everything and eliciting moans from me every time.
I cant say I ever pictured myself bound to
an MMA ring in my underwearbut thats
how it is with Seth. If he wants something,
he gets it, and he gets it any way he wants it.
His fingers curl around my underwear
and he snags it, snapping the flimsy fabric
and leaving me bare. Too consumed in his
mouth, it takes me a while to register what
hes doinguntil the lace of my underwear
tightens around the wrist above my head.
He catches my lip between his teeth and I
wince as he rakes them over it before taking
a step back. His eyes linger on my breasts,
long enough for my cheeks to burn from the
scrutiny as he admires me, giving no indication if this is to his liking or not. Seth steps in
close again and reaches round me,

570/723

unhooking my strapless bra. I feel my eyes

widen as the cups fall to my feet, landing on
top of the fabric.
I try and cross my legs, but he jams a hand
between them, chuckling deeply. I dont
think so. I didnt lure you all the way up here
and tie you to the ring only to have you shy
away from me.
Seth
O, I want you to take all of those nervous
thoughts that are skittering around your
head and I want you to forget them. Id never
do anything to hurt you. Id never do anything to demean you His lips twitch. intentionally. All I want is to make you feel
good.
He removes his hands from my thighs,
slips out of his jacket and tosses it to the side
like it isnt worth a cent. I want you to feel
special, like youre the only girl I want to be
with.

571/723

I keep my eyes on his as his fingers curl

around his buttons one by one, exposing his
alluring flesh piece by piece. Im enthralled
by the vision. Every muscle in his perfect
body is obvious and sculpted to complete
perfection.
You dont scream for me when Im fighting, but you will scream for me now. He
strokes his finger along my bottom lip then
pushes it inside. He surveys his finger in my
mouth before he snatches it back, grabs my
jaw and swoops down, claiming it with a
heavy breath. His tongue tastes me with an
aggressive passion that sets my body alight. I
can hear our breath smashing into each other and I gasp loudly when he pulls away
without any notice. He rests his forehead
against mine. And I will replay your
screams over and over in my head every
second Im in this ring two weeks from now.
I nod my compliance eagerly, but I dont
know whether to be petrified or exhilarated.

572/723

He shrugs out of his shirt, exposing all of his

clean cut muscles and he kicks the fabric to
the side, uncaring if it wrinkles. He doesnt
give me much time to admire him topless in
a nice pair of slacks. His hands shoot out and
grip my bare hips as he descends on me,
lowering his head to suck harshly on my
neck. Fervently, I press myself into him, unable to get enough. Seths rough hand glides
down my navel and between my legs. I shudder as a low growl rolls through his chest like
thunder and he drags his lips to my ear.
Youre so fucking wet. He sucks my earlobe between his lips and releases it. You
dont want to be, but youre really turned on
by this, arent you?
He strokes me and it sends a bolt of pleasure down through my body, making my
knees weaken. I rake my teeth across my
bottom lip and shake my head, refusing to
play into his hands straight away even

573/723

though my heart pounds hot blood through

my veins.
Youre going to have to do better than
that, baby, I tell him, not in the slightest bit
embarrassed that my voice is low and
breathless.
His eyes flare. He knows he has me melting like butter, but he plays along, undoubtedly eager to see how long I can keep
from letting myself go. His fingers slip from
me and a pang of disappointment courses
through my bodyor at least it does until I
hear the zip of his pants. Before I have time
to see if hell drop them or not, his hands
tighten around my hips and Im suddenly being thrust upward. He hoists me up, forcing
me to wrap my legs around him while he
shoves his hips into mine, thrusting against
me. Seth smirks as he presses his bare erection deliberately into the apex of my thighs,
and I squirm as my breath escapes in a sharp

574/723

gust. His expression turns predatorydark

and hungry.
Ive watched you strut around in your
dress while others stared. He cups one of
my breasts and my peaks strain against the
palm of his hand.
I squeeze him tighter, forcing him even
closer to me. In response, he runs his tongue
slowly over my bottom lip. Ive watched other men flirt with you and eye-fuck you. He
drops a hand to position himself right where
I want him to be. Youre here with me now,
though, he rasps, entering me a fraction and
sending white hot pleasure arrowing through
my core. And all I want is to hear you say
it.
He doesnt push further as he waits for me
to say itwhatever it is. I flex my hips, forcing him in deeper, but he pulls away, keeping me desperate and wanting.
Seth I groan.

575/723

Cold tingleswaithot tingles dance over

the surface of my skin as he pushes a little
deeper then moves back out.
You were mad at me upstairs, he says,
his breath sounding awfully shaky for
someone who is meant to be in control. I almost smile.
I was.
It was never my intent to demean you,
but I had to let those dick bags know that
youre mine.
I feel my brows draw together. I know
Im yours. Thats all that should matter.
He shakes his head. For as long as youre
with me, Ill make sure everyone knows it.
Whoever talks to you, touches you, or looks
at you will know that you are mine, and I will
do and say an endless amount of stupid shit
to achieve that.
Why?

576/723

He moves inside of me and I desperately

want to grip his shoulders against the shudder that rolls through me.
Because I love you and Ive never loved
anyone beforeI dont want anyone else to
feel how you make me feel. I told you when
we met that Im fucking selfish and spoiled,
and I wasnt kidding. I want every one of
your smiles, every laugh, every tear, everyfucking-thingall of itI want it and I want
it all to myself.
My heart swells at his wordsalthough
not elegantly statedand I want to give him
all of me. I do give him all of me. I want to
break through these restraints and glide my
hands across his shoulders and up his neck
to reassure him. I am yours and solely
yours. The smiles I give everyone else arent
like the smiles I give you. For them, I smile
out of courtesy. For you, I smile out of
lovesomething only you make me feel.

577/723

His features soften and I watch his tongue

glide quickly over his bottom lip. Why do
you love me?
I stare into his choc-honeycomb eyes and
think about my answer. After a few prolonged seconds, I realize I dont have one
and I shake my head.
I dont have an answerand maybe thats
what love is.
His brows furrow. Explain.
Well, maybe love is enigmatic for a reason. Think about it, all of the greatest things
in this world are indescribable because there
are no words that can accurately portray
them. He smiles and I mimic it. In short,
inexpressible beyond words is my answer for
you.
His forehead falls softly against mine. I
dont deserve youI shouldnt be tying you
up out in the open and I shouldnt be treating you like youre anything but good.

578/723

I shrug, my stare falling to his lips. I dont

want him to stop this. It feels right. All I
want is Seth on me, around me, inside of
meI cant get close enough to him.
Even good can be a little bad sometimes.
His mouth quirks up on an adorable
angle. That doesnt make sense.
It doesnt have to, now shut up and finish
what you started.
I dont think you understand how this
works. He bites back a cocky smile. Youre
the one tied upwhich means, you are in no
position to give me orders.
With a flick of my eyebrows, I roll my hips
on him and he growls deep in his chest, gripping my hips. I may be tied up, but I still
have the power. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as Seth slams himself all the way inside, making me take all of him in one deep
thrust. As he fills me, the air whooshes out of
my lungs and stings when I forget to breathe.
His hands squeeze me as he moans my

579/723

name. With each thrust his length fills my

hot core completely and my helpless body
writhes against the wire as I cry out in ecstasy. My eager moans spur Seth onward and
he slams into me with surprising, spinetingling force.
You are here with me, he mutters in a
sexy husky voice and Im unsure if its to me
or himself. Because you are fucking mine.
I bite my lip harshly and moan my agreement. My head spins and momentarily, Im
worried that this is all a dreamthat Im
about to wake up and find this isnt happening, but when I drag my eyes to his and see
his scorching eyes and sexy smirk, I know
theres no way Im dreaming. This is real. He
feels realand fucking amazing.
Untie me.
I want to engulf my fingers in his dark
hair. I want to run my hands over his hard
body and feel his muscles tremble because of
me.

580/723

You want to touch me?

I nod. Desperately.
In an instant he reaches up and manages
to free my hands. Its clear the tying thing
doesnt work for us. We need to feel each
other with our handsevery time we have
sex we explore each other and touch each
other like its the very first time all over
again.
Immediately, I plunge my fingers into his
hair and he groans as I weave my fingers
tightly through his locks. His tongue plunges
into my mouth, assuming all control. Im
sure Ill have marks on my back from the
cage, but I dont carenot right now,
anyway.
Seths movements speed to a frantic pace
and I can hear him grunting and growling
low in his chest, begging me for his release as
he continues to fuck me. Im close, and I begin to pull at his hair as I climb higher to my
peak. Im falling endlessly, waiting for

581/723

something to explode inside me, but I dont

want to come yet. I want to stay here on the
edge of euphoria with him. Seth grips the
base of my thigh, thrusting in long, quick
strokes.
Yes, I hiss, locking my ankles.
My mouth and brain are disconnected
from each other. My brain knows to shut up,
but my mouth insists on begging for more.
When Im panting for air, his mouth slips
down to my neck and he bites down on it,
sucking fiercely. He releases the skin instantly, realizing a love bite isnt the classiest
thing to show off at an event like this, and
runs his tongue over the spot he sucked. My
hands grope him and my mouth nips and
licks every section of exposed flesh available
to me.
Tell me he moans into my ear. Tell
me how much you love this.
I love you taking me hard against the
cage.

582/723

He moans, deep and husky, and it vibrates

every sensitive part in my body, increasing
my pleasure tenfold. My body contracts as
sensations begin to build in me, forcing me
to pant hard and heavy. Im going to comeI
try to hold it off, wanting to prolong this feeling and this moment, but as soon as Seth
reaches down in between us, and he flicks a
rough, thick and hard finger over my sensitive bundle of nerves, all is lost. Im spinning
down an endless spiral, floating above my
body. Hes swearing under his breath as my
muscles constrict almost painfully around
him, and Im milking him deeper and deeper
inside of me.
Seth! I grab his shoulders as the friction
of him thrusting into me becomes too much.
You better fucking scream for me, he
rasps, rubbing me harder, thrusting deeper.
He bites my bottom lip and the feel of his
tongue, the nip of his teeth, the heat of his
breath, the friction of his fingersits all too

583/723

much and dark coils unfurl in my stomach,

whipping wildly inside of me, shattering my
self control and fragmenting me. I dig my
nails into the taut flesh of his shoulders and I
scream out as wave after wave of the most
intense orgasm of my life rips through my
entire body, causing my muscles to spasm
and my breath to falter. Seths hips drive
harder and faster as I ride out the surge, his
eyes never leaving mine.
Fuck yeahoh he growls, pressing his
forehead against mine. Our breaths clash in
a heavy pant and our lips barely graze. His
thrusts become quick and shaky, his eyes
half-lidded and lust-filled. Not a second
later, he jams his tongue in my mouth and I
absorbed all of his moans on the tip of my
tongue as warmth spreads throughout my
womb. Long after I feel him soften, he continues to kiss me. His lips slow moving
against mine in a relaxed rhythm as his
tongue licks and tastes me. I feel myself melt

584/723

into him and he supports most of my weight.

With a small nip of my bottom lip, he pulls
away.
Thatll do just nicely. He smiles, and its
a cute, lazy smile that makes my heart swell
hard against my ribs.
He steps away from me and fresh, cool air
clings to my skin in his absence. I reach for
my dress, but his voice stops me. Not yet.
I freeze and draw myself back to full
height. Excitement bubbles at the thought of
doing what we just did again, but when Seth
starts putting his own clothes back on, I
really become confused. I watch, leaning
thoughtfully against the wirethe wire that
is probably printed onto the flesh on my
back, too.
As he pulls his jacket over his shoulders,
he steps closer with a wide smile.
What? I ask.

585/723

You are so amazing. He chuckles, stroking my nipple with his index finger and it
stands to attention.
You cant tell me this when Im dressed?
I can, but its what Im going to tell you
afterwards that I want you to be naked for.
I frown. Why?
Because I want you to remember this.
When you think back to this life changing
moment, I want it to have my name all over
it.
Seth drops before me, down on one knee!
My heart stops and stutters, threatening to
implode and kill me on the spot. When it
continues to beat, it pumps blood through
my veins at a pace too quick for the rest of
my body to accommodate and my head
spins. Do not freak out. This cant possibly
be what I think it is.
He looks up at me through thick, dark
lashes.
Oh, fuck.

586/723

Without taking his eyes from mine, he

reaches into his jacket and produces a gorgeous green velvet box. Im frozen. Its exactly what I think it is. He opens the box and
exposes the most beautiful ring Ive ever
seen. Gold. Emeralds. Diamonds. All of the
pretty rocks are arranged on top of the gold
band in a breathtaking display of elegance.
Oh, shit.
If I dont do this now, I know Ill regret it
later. Im here in my favorite place, with my
favorite personnaked, might I addand I
cant think of a more perfect time other than
right now to ask you what Ive been dying to
ask you.
I try to speak, but only pathetic gusts of
air come out.
Before I ask, I want you to know that I
know Im a difficult person. I know Im childish and immature and a million other things,
and I want this one second to say thank you
for putting up with me and I thank Godor

587/723

whatevereveryday for making you as masochistic as me. I roll my eyes at him. Im

hardly masochistic. I know you have a lot of
people you can rely on that are more than
willing to be there for you and to support
you, but no one can look after you or take
care of you like I can, O. Not your mom, not
your brother, not even you, at least, not like I
can and not like I want to.
He inches closer, his eyes glossy and
pleading. I want to be the one to look after
you and to care for you. I want my last name
to be the one you sign forms with. I want to
be the person you call when you need help or
advice. I want to be the love of your life, your
reason for living, and your best friend. What
Im asking, O, is for you to give me the
chance to take care of you, to give you
everything youve ever wanted, and
everything youve always deserved. I want to
marry you. I want you to have my last name

588/723

and carry my children. I want us to buy a

home togetherto be together.
Whoa. That is a lot of wantsmy mouth is
still open, still in utter shock at what is unfolding before me. I snap my mouth shut and
squeeze my fingers against my damp palm to
stop from trembling. I feel sickbut its that
excited/nervous kind of sick. Time slows and
my gaze drops to his lips as the question falls
from his lips.
Will you marry me?
Youre going to ask me to marry you
when Im naked in a cage and youre fully
clothed? I choke out, completely avoiding
the point to buy myself more time. Ive been
waiting for this to happenbut now that it
has, Im a deer in the headlights.
He smiles wickedly. This is exactly how I
imagined it, but thats not the response I
want from you.
Right. I flick my tongue over my bottom
lip to dispel the dryness. Yes. I tell him,

589/723

unable to hide my sudden, face-splitting

smile. Of course its a yes.
The smile that splits Seths face is like no
other and in one fluid motion he pulls the
ring from the box, takes my hand in his, and
slips the ring on. Without missing a beat, he
launches at me, sweeping me into his arms
and pressing me hard against the cage again.
We kiss. We kiss again. We kiss over and
over, unable to express our happiness in
words. When I was young and I dreamt of
my engagement, I definitely didnt imagine
Id be naked in a cage with a fighter. I imagined snow falling from the sky, white
horses, red rosesthe whole unrealistic
package. But this is so much better. This is
real and perfect. This has Seths name all
over it and Ill never forget it, ever.
***

590/723

As we walk back to the function, its hard

to keep my eyes on the tiles in front of me
and not on the ring wrapped around my finger. My knees wobble underneath me as my
body still reels in the after effects of the
mind-blowing sex and the excitement of
what came afterwards. I feel differentlike a
new person entirely. I always knew I wanted
to be with Seth forever, but now the feeling is
certainas solid as stone. I rest most of my
weight against him. My fianc. My husband
to be.
I cant stop smiling and I glance at Seth.
As usual, hes the perfect picture of calm, but
I know hes as excited as I am. I can tell by
the way his thumb brushes eagerly over my
fingers. As we walk through the crowd and
different pairs of eyes stop and stare at me, I
notice Seths fingers dont possessively
squeeze me. That says a lot about our new
relationship already. He knows Im his now.
He knows I want to spend the rest of my life

591/723

with him. Not squeezing me gives me confidence that hes willing to grow as a person and
that he trusts me. Walking with Seth is like
walking with a loaded gun at times. You never know when hes feeling particularly aggressive or territorial and you never know if
or when hes going to go off.
Seth is the kind of person who needs to be
shown love in order to feel loved. We could
be sitting alone in a room after a movie or
sex and hell feel unloved unless hes touching me or Im touching him. We dont talk
much about him or his childhood. He prefers
to live in the now and avoids dredging up old
memories, but I know (from the small conversations weve had) that his neediness and
his need for validation stems from his fathers neglect. Because of that, Seth needs constant affection. He needs to be praisedhe
craves it. He acts like hes untouchable and
his confidence is a balloon too hard to pop

592/723

with a sharp needle, but deep down I think

hes just as insecure as the rest of us.
Seth is jealous, commanding, and a little
too proud, but thats okay with me. Hes only
human, and being human means youre vulnerable, that you have weaknesses and imperfections. Thats the beauty of it. Being human is about making mistakes and learning
from themor not, if you dont want to.
Theres too much pressure to be perfect
these days, and guess what? People are imperfect. People are annoying, stupid, and
rude at times, but its okay. Its okay because
ninety percent of the time it doesnt affect
you directly and its up to you to let it bother
you and poison you or you can brush it off. I
dont know, maybe Im just trying to defend
Seths behaviorhellmaybe Im trying to
defend my own behavior. My decisions
havent always been sound ones, but they are
my decisions and Im the only one that has
to live with them, no one else.

593/723

Seth escorts me through some more

double doors and into another function
room. Huge round tables fill the room, decorated with red and white dressings topped
with a gorgeous ice sculpture centered in the
middle. Forget the swan. These guys want
boxing gloves and fists in the middle of their
table to add elegance to their celebration.
Were seated at a table with people we
dont even knowwellpeople I dont know.
Seth seems to know everyone and has fought
and beat at least three of the five fighters at
our table. The coordinators of this event has
split everyone up into their occupationsfighters with fighters, coaches with
coachesand so on. At our table, and directly across from us, sits wrestling world
champion and Seths opponent, Junior
Moset. Their relationship is a hell of a lot
tamer than Seth and Dons, and they even
smile and throw jokes at each other when
their conversations cross paths. No matter

594/723

how friendly the conversation is, though, its

clear both fighters think theyre going to win.
Junior is a lot like Seth, size-wise, and its
hard to believe someone his size can be so efficient on the floor. Regardless of his impressive background, Seth isnt intimidated
by him, and Junior isnt intimidated by
Seths outstanding undefeated history. Itll
make for an interesting fight, Im sure.
Junior is handsomelight caramel skin
and crazy-bright, golden honey eyes. He has
a scruffy mop of chocolate hair (two shades
lighter than mine) that sticks up in an array
of styled spikes. It suits him and his fun, confident personality.
Seth, you do know Junior has defeated
his last two opponents with a standing rear
naked choke, a guy I dont know or recognize says, nudging Junior with his elbow.
I glance sideways at Seth, who shrugs and
smiles. Im aware.
It doesnt bother you?

595/723

Junior smirks, and rests his elbows on the

table, chewing on a steamed bean. He enjoys
tormenting Seth and I get it. Hes new, he
hasnt fought for his keep yet, but when they
fight in two weeks, I know its Seth wholl
come out on top. Seth knows it too, and
thats why hes casually playing along with
their games.
Nothing bothers me.
Theres got to be something that bothers
you, Junior snickers. Spiders bother me.
Seth drops his fork against his plate.
Okay, the anxious wait between fights bothers me. Not having sex for long periods of
time bothers me, and knowing Im going to
knock you out in the first round and not give
the spectators a good show bothers me.
The table erupts with whistles and burn
remarks. I roll my eyes. I have no idea how
Ive put up with this for the last forty
minutes and I dont think I can take another
second. The other girls that sit around the

596/723

table with their fighters are enjoying the

banter immensely, but I find it a pointless
show of feathers. Every single man at this
table thinks they are the ultimate alpha
male, which leads to some very loud, pointless conversations and challenges.
Seth leans into me, pulling me from my
thoughts. Lightning bothers me, too, he
whispers with a wink.
Lightning? Like the stuff that comes from
the clouds during a storm?
He nods, pulling his glass of water to his
lips and taking a sip. It freaks me out, he
says when he lowers it again.
I watch him, my eyes as wide as saucers.
How someone his size is scared of anything,
let alone lightning, is beyond me. I put my
napkin to my mouth and conceal my laugh.
Seth smiles back, pleased with himself for
sharing this new piece of information with
me.

597/723

Spiders are pretty scary, Seth tells Junior, returning to the table conversation, to
girls.
I nudge Seth with my elbow and he
laughs, picking at his fish with his fork. The
table roars with laughter and Junior shrugs
it off like its no big deal. Hes very humble,
not caring what Seth says to him, and I decide I like Junior, which will make watching
Seth and Juniors fight slightly more
difficult.
A girl? Junior chuckles. You shouldnt
have labelled me as that, now its going to be
a hell of a lot more embarrassing for you
when I submit your ass.
Seth opens his mouth to reply with another undoubtedly rude, smart ass comment,
but a male voice over the speakers stops him.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and
welcome to our first official MMAC dinner of
this season.

598/723

Applause erupts over the room and we

twist in our chairs to the stage behind us. At
the microphone is the CEO of the MMAC,
Matthew Somers. Matthew seems like a good
enough guy.
This season will be a memorable one. In
the break, weve recruited a few new fightersDarren Shane, Rashad Moens, Hayne
Gains, and amateur champion, Seth Marc.
The crowd goes for another round of applause and in the distance I hear whistling
and whoopinga female voice that sounds
an awful lot like Selenas. I bite back a smile,
assuming shes had a little too much wine.
All of these new fighters will go up
against our seasoned pros at one stage or anotherthe usual, but
The way he says it sets me on edge for
some strange reason.
This season, were going to do something
weve never done before. Were going to give
an amateur a shot at joining the MMAC. He

599/723

raises a finger. One shot. One fight. Weve

all seen the hype on the internet about Seth
Marc. We all know what hes capable
ofwhat he can bring to this sport.
I look at Seth and his jaw clenches
imperceptibly.
In this room, we have one man capable of
bringing the greatest rematch this sport has
ever seen. You want to know how many
views the amateur championship fight
between Don Russell and Seth Marc got on
the internet. Five hundred and fifty-seven
million.
Matt raises two fingers. Two weeks following his fight with Junior Moset, Mr. Seth
Marc will be going up against a promising
fighter at the Mandalay Bay Event Arena.
One we pulled off the same streets as
Sethone who wants to be here just as badly
as any of you. Matt chuckles, smirking at
Seth like the back-stabbing wolf he is. One

600/723

who hates Seth more than anyone else on the

planet.
My mouth drops, following the motions of
my stomach. Surely he doesnt mean
Don Russell.
The room crackles with anticipation and
enlivens with chatter. I look sideways at Seth
to gauge his reaction. His eyes are focused on
Matt and his lips are held in a small smile.
Watching him now, youd think he isnt the
least bit phased by the announcementbut I
know him and theres no doubt that deep
down hes losing his mind.
If Seth wins, Don Russell will never get a
chance to join the MMAC. If Don wins, he
gets a spot in the MMAC and a shot at the
World Champion title like everyone else.
Two weeks from nowJunior, try not to hurt
him too bad. I need him. Matthew laughs
and puts the microphone back in its holder
before turning on his heel and strolling from
the stage with a wide smile on his stupid

601/723

face. What a snake. Matt made this announcement public, knowing Seth will never
back down and risk humiliating himself. He
knows Seth is stubborn and proudhe
knows doing it this way Seth cant say no. He
manipulated Seth into the fight.
Seth turns back around in his seat and
pushes his plate of food to the side, resting
his elbows on the table.
Don Russell, Junior scoffs. The guy is a
joke. Why Matt wants him in the MMAC is
beyond me. Fucking vermin.
Half the table mumbles their agreement.
Can we go home? I ask Seth, loud
enough for the table to hear.
I know he doesnt want to be here, I can
see it on his faceregardless of how hard
hes trying to hide it. Knowing him, he
wouldnt want to be seen as running from
the dinner directly after the announcement.
Go home?

602/723

I nod my head quickly, nudging him. He

catches on, relief flooding his features.
Beauty sleep? the strange guy next to me
slurs. You dont need beauty sleep, baby.
I laugh nervously, rising to my feet and
pushing my chair back with my legs. I glance
at Seth, whos watching the guy closely. I
dont need a drunk creep making Seth flip
out right now. Seth?
He removes his attention from the guy
whos already shifted his interest back to his
date. Seth nods his head, says his goodbyes
to the rest of the table, and I shoulder the
blame for our sudden departure.
We stroll past table after table, unable to
avoid the congratulations on the rematch,
and when the door is only a few feet away,
Darryl and Jackson slip in front of us.
Not now, Darryl, Seth growls through
clenched teeth.
Ive called your lawyers; theyre going
to

603/723

Seth pushes past them, dragging me behind him. Cancel them.

Cancel them? Jackson questions. Seth,
you-
Seth snaps around and I take a quick defensive step backuntil my arm is
straightened and straining at the elbow, but
he doesnt let me go. A few passersby move
quickly away from the scene unfolding before them. I cant back out now. He announced itin front of everyone. I will fucking destroy Don and everyone else the
MMAC throws at me. Fuck them all.
They exchange glances for a few seconds
before Darryl retrieves his phone from his
pocket and dials a number. Seth tugs me in
close again, letting go of my hand and wrapping an arm around my waist. He pulls me
away from Darryl and Jackson and we head
outside.
We dont say a word to each other, but he
keeps me held firmly against his side up

604/723

stairs, through corridors and in elevatorsall the way to the hotel room. He lets
me go to unlock the door and he pushes it
open. My heart hammers in my chest like a
jackhammer to concrete and Im scared to go
inside and be alone with him. I dont think I
can handle another night like last night.
Please go inside, he mutters, pinching
the bridge of his nose.
His voice isnt harsh or commandinghe
seems sadbroken. I step inside and I dont
look back. I tap as fast as my heels will let me
upstairs and into the shower. When I come
out all fresh and revived, dressed in sweat
pants and a tank top, I go back downstairs.
The lights are dim and the bright neon of Vegas become obvious as they filter in through
the large window. I hesitate on the last step
when I see Seth sitting on the couch with his
head in his hands. His back is to methe depressions are darkened by shadows of absent
light. Swallowing my uncertainty, I push off

605/723

the last step and move to the couch Seth has

dragged over to the window. As I draw nearer to him, my sight catches all of the droplets
of water on the surface of his skin. He used
the shower downstairs to avoid me and what
I have to say about the rematch with Don.
Im not hurt. He needs space and I respect
that.
Before I step around the arm of the couch,
I hesitate, and out of pure nervousness, I
clear my throat. He lifts his head from his
hands and looks over his shoulder at me.
I can go I mumble uneasily, shifting
my weight.
Seth flicks his head, gesturing for me to
join him and I cant move quick enough. He
slides across the couch to make room and
when I sit down, he grabs me, pulling me to
him, and with a flick of his hips, he flips me,
pressing my back firmly into the couch. He
slides his body between my legs and my
muscles tense as he drops a heavy portion of

606/723

his weight on top of me. His full lips press

against mine and they melt together in a
slow rhythm. When he pulls back, I ask, Are
you mad?
The bright pinks and yellows outside reflect in his dark eyes. Yes.
You can go to the gymyou dont have to
stay with me.
He shakes his head. When I look back on
the night I proposed to my wife, I dont want
to remember it like this. I want us to be
happy and loving for nowthe rest can wait
until tomorrow.
I slide my fingers over his shoulders and
down his arms, savoring the feel of his warm
skin under my fingertips. As my hands come
up his neck, I see my ring glisten in the light
and my breath catches. How easy it is to forget how happy we were tonight before Matthew Somers and the mention of Don Russell
destroyed it. Seth asked me to marry him
and I said yesI said yes.

607/723

We can just lie here in silence and appreciate each others company, he adds with a
soft sigh.
Seth rests his head on my chest and
watches the cars driving down the boulevard.
His thumb glides back and forth over my hip,
sending pulses of pleasurable energy through
my stomach. I let my fingers move smoothly
over his shoulder, up his neck, and into his
hair. I can feel his muscles are tight and
alert. I know hes playing calm and collected
for my sake, to show me he can change, but I
dont want him to change if it means wallowing in his own anger and poisoning himself
with stress from the inside out.
I flex my hips and Seth lifts himself off of
me. Maybe you should lie on the bottom, I
suggest. I can see the news headline now;
Fighter Falls Asleep and Crushes Fiance
Under the Weight of his Body.
With a heart-stopping chuckle, we shift
positions and Seth lies flat on his back with

608/723

his hands tucked underneath his head.

Whoa. If I had a dollar for every perfect
muscle I see in his upper body alone Id be
richor Seth would be richbecause Id pay
him to let me lick them. I slip my legs over
his hips and unashamedly run my hands
over his stomach, feeling every bump and
tremor. I glance at his mouth and he smiles
up at me. Its a genuine smile, one that
makes all of my insides feel light and happy.
I run the palms of my hands over his chest
and onto his shoulders, no longer looking at
his face. I focus on relaxing him and making
him feel better about tonight. I can feel his
intense eyes on me, watching me as I continue to caress him.
Your hands feel nice, he mutters almost
sleepily.
Does it make you feel better?
Under my fingertips, his muscles relax a
fraction. Much better. I like it when you
take care of me.

609/723

I lean forward and plant a soft kiss on his

nipple, gaining a small hum of approval. If
Im going to be his wife, I need to learn how
to take care of him properly. I need to step
up and look after him, the way he deserves to
be looked after.
Ill take care of you forever, I whisper.
Seth doesnt say anything in return. Im
not sure if he even heard it and thats okay. I
never said it to get a response. I said it because I mean it and it eases the overwhelming bubble of excitement in my chest.
After a long while, my fingertips are numb
and tingly, and Im unsure where his flesh
ends and mine begins. I lie on him now and I
rise up and down a fraction of an inch every
time he breathes. Forty minutes ago, Seth removed my shirt and watched my breasts as I
massaged him. It was thrilling, to say the
least, and the urge to coax him into having
sex with me was almost overwhelming, but I
held my own and kept my cool. Just. If he

610/723

hadnt fallen asleep, Im sure my resistance

would have caved. It always does when hes
around. With one last slow, pathetic stroke
of his forearms, my hands give up and collapse on his skin. My eyelids are heavy, like
they have tiny weights tethered to my eyelashes. I let them close and snuggle even
closer into my sleeping Seth.
Starting tomorrow, he will dive into intense daily training sessions and have little
to no time for me. Thankfully, Selena is here
and I wont be totally alonebut despite her
presence, however, I know Seths two upcoming fights are going to linger over me like
a dark cloud. I know Seth can take Junior,
but Im worried his emotions are going to get
the best of him when he fights Don. If Seth
loses to Don, it will break him. I shake the
thought from my head. Seth wont lose. He is
the bright center of my universeuntouchable. Infallible. He cant lose.

Chapter Twenty-One
Seth
(Fight Night: Seth Marc vs Junior
Moset)
A plastic chair slaps the concrete wall and
Im brought back to my senses. Anxiety
ripples through my body and I clench my
fists as it rests in my chest and threatens to
suffocate me. Where is she? I sent Darryl up
to the hotel room half an hour ago to find

612/723

her. Olivia wanted to wait until the very last

minute to come down. These fighting things
still make her nervous and I try my hardest
to respect that, but without her here with me
now I dont think I can make it through my
warm up. I want to see her calming green
eyes looking at meall caring and worried.
I flex my fingers and survey my bare fingers. They stick out from the thick material
and I turn my hands palm down to assess the
gloves. Across the top of my gloveright
over the padded knucklesit reads MMAC
in big white letters. I made it. Im here, ready
for my professional debutthis fight, win or
lose, will be remembered for the rest of my
career. The first fights always are.
Being immortalized an amateur losing my
first pro fight isnt the only thing eating at
me, the crowd is, too. Tens of thousands of
spectators all sitting and waiting for the
main card fight. Junior is the crowd favoritesomething Ive known for weeks now.

613/723

His pro record is nine to one, losing only to

disqualification in his first fight by repeatedly grabbing the cage for added support. My professional record is zero both in
wins and defeats. They dont care about my
amateur record or that Ive had twenty-two
official fights and havent lost a single one.
What counts is now. I need to win this
fightand I willI just need to keep my
head clear and in the game. One mistake and
Junior can have me in an arm bar, or triangle lockor even a guillotine. Ive seen his
fights. He knows exactly how to lock the submissions down and getting out of them is going to take more energy than its worth.
The door swings open, drawing my attention. The rest of the team fades out and my
sight focuses solely on my woman. When her
gaze lands on me, the anxiety in my chest
minutely lets up and I sigh a breath of relief.
Even back then I couldnt pinpoint what it is
about her that relaxes me so muchmaybe

614/723

its because shes always so nervous I take it

on myself to make her feel better. My team
filters from the room and closes the door behind them. Weve done this enough times
now that they know to leave us alone when
she comes to see me. I cant have my whole
team thinking Im weak. Only she is allowed
to see that side of me. I brace my hands on
the bench on either side of my open thighs as
she strolls right up between them and places
her hands half on my shoulders and half on
my neck.
She looks absolutely amazing in a pair of
classy black slacks and a stylish white sweater. No mini skirts. No tight tube dresses.
Perfect.
A relaxing hum vibrates from her fingertips and creeps over my skin before seeping
into my pores. Unintentionally, I bring my
lips closer to hers and I stop myself just as
they graze. Her breath hitches before she expels it nervously on my face.

615/723

Thank you for being here, I mumble,

looking deep into her eyes. I couldnt do it
without you.
You were doing just fine before I came
along.
No, I wasnt. I was ready to throw in the
towel, to give up fighting. Darryl knew it and
Jackson knew it, too, but when I met Olivia,
her passion and her fight ignited a spark in
me I thought was long gone. She inspired
meand I think thats why I have to see her
before a fightbecause she gives me the motivation I need.
You have no idea, I say, playfully
nudging her nose with mine.
Her fingers snake around the back of my
neck and lock together as she pulls my forehead harder against hers.
Youre going to win, she says. Youre
not going to win for me, or Darryl, or the
MMAC. Youre going to win for yourself because you put in the hard yards to get here.

616/723

There she goes again, always knowing

the right things to say.
And if I dont want to win? I ask,
teasingly.
Then you better lose with a smile on your
face.
I laugh under my breath. Fuck that. Im
not losing to anybody, my pride wont let me.
***
The cold cement of the hallway floor
makes my feet tingle as I march down the
corridor. My hands clench into fists, unclench, and then clench again while I dance
back and forth on the balls of my feet a few
times. When I come to a stop behind double
doors and after I read the MMACs sloganBe strong. Be smart. Be great. I tilt
my head to the ceiling with my eyes closed,
and blow out a long, slow breath. In both
ears, Darryl and Jackson are talking to

617/723

megiving me words of encouragement and

helpful tips, but I don't hear them. My mind
is elsewhere, focused on cages and crowds.
In no time, the bass of Seths intro song
starts thumping through the sound system
and the door in front of me opens. I flex my
muscles from shoulders to thighs and I prowl
out of the empty, slanted hallway and into
the crowd, doing my best to seem as confident as ever.
People grab at me and I ignore them, focusing only on the empty, looming cage. I
run my tongue over my guard to feel it securely in place as adrenaline shakes my body
and boils my blood, sending it at light speed
through my veins. I love this. My nerves are
electrified, like Im sitting on the edge of a
severe storm, praying not to get hit by the
bolts of lightning that strike the ground next
to me. As I approach the steps to the cage, a
staff member of the MMAC checks my gloves
and mouth guard while Darryl reaches

618/723

around me and unzips my black hoodie. I

shrug it off and bound up the stairs and into
the cage. The roar of the crowd is so loud its
deafening, and Im absolutely floored by the
amount of people who have come to see me
and Junior fight. Never in a million years
would I have thought people would flood an
arena to see me fight. I run my bare fingers
across the baked vinyl cage, doing a lap of
the ring. When I run my hands over a certain
part of the cage, I linger for a little while. I
turn my head to the left and instantly pick
Olivia out of the crowd. Shes right at the
front, sitting beautifully with her legs crossed
and fingers in her mouth as she nervously
chews her nails. Shes focused on the floor as
Selena talks in her ear, but when she looks
up at me from underneath her thick, long
lashes and sees me looking at her while I
touch the spot I fucked her two weeks ago,
her fingers fall from her mouth and theres
no doubt in my mind her cheeks are heating

619/723

up. Flashbacks flood meperfect pink

nipples, sleek, wet pussy and swollen lips. I
have half a mind to kick everyone out of the
arena and drag her back up here.
She gives me a warning look, like she
thinks someone here will know what we did
and I smilenobody will ever know what we
did. She sticks her finger back into her
mouth and I see her engagement ring glisten
under the bright lights, the ring that I bought
herthe ring that took me six hours to pick
out. How easily I forget we are no longer girlfriend and boyfriendthat I promised the
rest of my life to herand she promised hers
in return. To think it all happened right underneath my feet.
I continue my circle of the ring until Im
back in my corner. Normally, I like to show
off a little bit for the crowd, but tonight I
want them to see that I mean business.
An unfamiliar song blasts over the speakers and the crowd goes nuts once again. A

620/723

pang of anticipation courses through me and

I turn my head to see Junior Moset thundering down the walkway with a wide smile on
his face. Hes used to this. This is his world
that Im entering and I hate that it gives him
an edge over me. Junior enters the ring and
does his round before settling on the opposite side of the ring.
Remember, try to keep it standing. Avoid
going to the floor if you can and go for the
knock out. Its your best bet, Jackson calls
as the announcer speaks, introducing the referee and the fighters.
He sounds extremely confident in me, but
little does he know, its easier said than done.
Its almost impossible to keep a ground fighter standing for the majority of the fight.
When things get too fast, they go for the
takedown. When they get stung, they go for
the takedown. Hell, they even go for the
takedown if they miss a hit. Im not going to
be able to keep this standing for longand I

621/723

hope my ground game is good enough to prevent any devastating submissions.

Junior and I watch each other from opposite sides of the cage, and when the referee, Marty Quim, steps inside, the noise of the
audience lessens. Junior crouches slightly,
his nostrils flare out as he breathes heavily. I
monitor the way his fists tighten as he raises
them up in front of his body and awareness
covers me. I know the purpose of every
muscle in my body, and I position each one
in preparation for what's to come. This is my
element, too, I remind myself. This is my
show.
My life.
My passion.
And I will not fucking lose this.
Junior, are you ready? Quim shouts and
Junior flicks his cocky, dark eyebrows at me.
Yes!
Seth, are you ready?

622/723

I nod my head, narrowing my eyes at

Junior. Hes a good guy, but tonight hes the
only thing standing between me and the respect I deservewhich makes him my enemy. The bell rings and we push off from our
corners and meet in the middle to touch
gloves. As soon as our hands touch, we drop
our stances and square off.
Powerful feelings envelope me and I waste
no time in lashing out, swinging full force. It
was never in our game plan to throw power
punches right off the bat, but I wanted to
gauge Juniors reaction time because once I
find my flow, hes a fucking goner. He takes a
couple quick steps back as my fists rain down
on him. He brings his hands up to shield his
face, but its no use. I drop low and slam my
knuckles into his ribs, listening to them force
the air from his lungs. With every hit I land, I
feel myself become more and more relaxed,
no longer anxious. And because of that, I
find
myself
moving
quickermore

623/723

confidently. Junior is no match for my

strikes. He knows it too, and he dives for my
legs to avoid my punches. I sprawl, wrapping
my arms around his and shoving him off me.
I step back as he jumps to his feet and brings
his hands back to guard his face. Juniors
brow is furrowed and I know he didnt expect
me to be so aggressive. Rule number one,
never underestimate me. Never underestimate my weaknesses because when I use them
to fuel my strengths, you better look out.
Junior comes in hot with quick jabs to the
stomach. I drop my hands to protect my
stomachboth of thema rookie mistake
and he clips me in the mouth. A searing pain
splits my lip (in the exact same pace thats
healing from Dons beating) and I taste
blood. Junior backs off as I spit blood onto
the canvas.
Lucky shot, I growl, bringing my fists
back up and advancing on him. As if his impatience is running out, Junior begins to jab

624/723

at me again from the right. I let two hit me

and feign left as the third comes in. He
switches his angle, like I expected, and I go
right, striking Junior once, twicenothree
times in the ribs. Junior hunches and I grab
his neck, bringing up my knee and driving it
right into his chest. I hear the crowd go crazy
and I know the quick pace of this fight is
driving them insane. Junior counters as I
bring my leg down and grabs me by the knee.
He hooks his arm around it and twists, causing me to turn at an awkward angle and fall
to the mat with a bang. I yank my ankle free
and roll quickly, flipping myself up onto the
balls of my feet as Juniors fist flies toward
my face. At the last moment, I pivot, but its
not fast enough and Juniors knuckle clips
the side of my head, sending a loud ring
through my ear. I take a few steps back to
clear my head and Junior doesnt waste a
second and dives at me almost instantly. He
grabs my legs and takes me down. I struggle

625/723

against him, barely getting anywhere. Hes a

heavy bastard, thats for sure.
Dont get caught! I hear Darryl shout.
Watch your arms!
I clap my hands together and squeeze
them tightly as Junior does his best to work
them open and wrap himself around one of
them. He moves his body up mine, getting
the mount and trapping my arms underneath his weight. I grunt as I flick my hips in
an attempt to get him off me, but it fails. Im
in full guard position and I wrap my legs
around him to prevent him from standing
up. Somehow, he passes my guard and rises
up. My whole body tenses as I see him lift his
elbow before dropping it down on my chest.
A groan releases itself from my throat as he
does it again and again, drawing nearer to
my face. I unclasp my hands and push
against his chest. My chest aches from the
force of the elbows he slammed into them
and I grit my teeth into the mouth guard. He

626/723

copies my movements, pushing down on my

chest.
No, Seth! I hear Jackson yell and I feel
Junior shift on me. Oh shit! His leg swings
over my face as he twists his body. Shit! He
grabs my arm and drops himself backwards,
straightening my arm out until it bends in
the opposite direction. I clench my jaw as
pain shoots up my forearm and into my elbow. Junior pulls harder and I growl out
loud.
Hold it! Three! I hear Darryl scream.
Two!
A second later, the bell dings and the pressure subsides. Junior slips away from me
and jogs over to his corner. What the fuck? I
blink a few times, still lying on the floor,
dazed. He almost beat me. I shake my head
and climb to my feet. I shake and squeeze my
elbow. It feels bruised and tensehe almost
had me with a goddamn arm bar.

627/723

Its okay, Darryl says as I drop onto my

stool. The next round is yours.
Darryl and Jackson are in my face. I try to
focus on what theyre saying, but my heart
pounds loudly in my ears. That was too fucking close. He almost had me and he would
have if the bell hadnt gone off.
Water, I demand and Jackson hands it
to me.
I suck down a mouthful of water and
swish it around my dry mouth before swallowing it. Darryl goes over our game plan in
detail, but Im way too worked up to listen.
Instinctively, I glance over my shoulder and
seek her out. Olivias wide green eyes peer at
me through the gaps in her fingers. Her long,
chocolate hair is messy and disheveled, like
shes run her fingers through it, and even
with her hands guarding most of her face, I
can tell shes worried for me and I have to
change that. The next round is mine.
I will not lose. Not today.

Chapter Twenty-Two
Olivia
I suck in a sharp breath but I don't cry out
like I want to. Every cell in my body presses
against my skin, urging me out of my chair
and towards him. Every atom that Im composed of demands I protect my fiancand
yet I remain in my seat, silent and obsessed,
watching his every muscle spasm, lip twitch,
and every clench of his jaw as Junior
straightens his arm out. Im on the edge of

629/723

my seat, absorbing all of the energy and

anxiety inside the massive arena into my tiny
body. Id chew my nails if I hadnt already
chewed them to the bone. Cmon, Seth, tap
out. I dont care if he loses, but I care if he
gets hurt. I see Seths elbow begin to bend in
the other direction and the pain on his face
sends a sharp arrow of panic into my chest.
Anxious sweat begins to bead on my skin and
I rake my fingers through my hair. I witness
exactly four more seconds of Seths pain before I cant take it anymore and I shield my
face with my hands.
The bell rings and I peer through my
fingers.
Holy hell! Selena giggles, practically
bouncing in her seat. That was so fucking
close!
She rocks her bony shoulder into mine
and I jerk to the side, ignoring her. Jackson
has a stool down in Seths corner before the
bell stops its annoying chime, but Seth

630/723

remains on the floordazed. Like he cant

believe hes still in the fight. He shakes it off
and climbs to his feet and stalks towards his
team before dropping onto his stool. While
Darryl talks, Jackson checks his body and
hands him a water bottle. Seth takes a quick
mouthful of the water and glances over his
shoulder at me. I heat up under his gaze and
I cant pinpoint what hes thinking, exactly.
Jackson slaps a bag of ice down on his
shoulders and Seth barely flinches at it. I
look over at Juniors team and they seem
really happy with the first roundtheres no
doubt in my mind that he won it. Seth needs
to finish this before it goes to the judges.
Hes already lost one round.
The stools are pulled away and the teammates leave the ring.
Ding.
Round two begins.
Anticipation crackles through me, setting
my blood alight. I lean my elbows on my

631/723

knees and press the tips of my fingers to my

forehead.
They circle each other watching, waiting
for an opening. Junior is the first to break
and lashes out with a hard kick. Seth grabs
his ankle and yanks Junior off balance,
pulling his leg past his torso and then
launching forward and punching him
straight in the nose. Blood gushes almost instantly and I suddenly feel under the weather. Dread swirls in my stomach, mixing with
the nausea and I sink in to myself. Why do I
do this to myself?
Junior wipes his nose with the back of his
glove, but never drops his hand. He swings at
Seth, but Seth ducks and lunges toward
Junior. He grasps his neck with his left hand
and begins delivering a series of devastating
punches to Juniors stomach. Junior attempts to bring his knees up to protect his
torso, but fails and Seth drives him back until hes pressed against the cage. Seths

632/723

eyebrows are drawn together, his lips parted

in an aggressive way, exposing his white
mouth guard. My eyes begin to sting and are
screaming at me to blink, but I dont. I dont
want to miss a second of this fight.
With a second wind, Junior drops low and
rushes at Seth with a vengeance. His thick,
tattooed arms wrap around Seths legs and
they both hit the canvas with a slap. Theres
a flurry of fists and legs before Seth rolls
quickly, coming to rest on top of Junior.
Junior blocks his head as Seth starts to rain
heavy punches and elbows down on him. The
referee gets in close, ready to call the fight in
Seths favor as a result of a TKO at any
second. Jackson and Darryl are yelling directions at him and urging him to keep going.
The crowd is so loud I can't make out their
exact words, but when I look over at Juniors
corner, I see the look of panic in his teams
eyes. They dont want an experienced fighter
like Junior Moset to lose to an amateur like

633/723

Seth. I almost smile. They were wrong to

ever underestimate my man. Seth is fierce
and fast, like a train. When he reaches full
speed, hes unstoppable and you better get
out of the way. With terrifying speed, he hits
Junior over and over and over again. When
Junior blocks his face, Seth drops his fists to
his stomach. He hits him with wild abandon,
showing no finesse, no rhythm to his strikes.
He wants to win and he wants to win in the
most devastating way possible. I shiver, glancing away from Seth as he dominates Junior.
I dont think Junior is going to have much of
a face after this. Seths chest rises and falls
rapidly, like hes run a marathon and a half.
Its splattered with his opponents blood and
I watch as the crimson dots glisten under the
bright lights. Seth draws his arm back and
Junior refuses to block it, he lies there
breathing heavily, waiting for the ref to call
it. Before he strikes Junior one last time, his
eyes flick to me and my heart whams against

634/723

my ribs. His dark eyes linger on me, waiting

for me to do something. I realize Im shaking
my head at himbecause I understand what
he wants. Hes asking my permission to hit
Junior one more timea defenseless, injured
Juniorand I shake my head because its
wrong. Hes already given up. With a swift
nod, Seth swings a leg over Juniors head,
grabs his arm and falls backward. Junior
doesnt tap out at first, but when Seth flicks
his hips, Junior slaps the canvas so hard the
spectators in the back can probably hear it.
The referee calls the fight and the crowd
goes mental with cheers and screams. Selena
undoubtedly squeals the loudest and pulls
me to my feet. Her arms surround me and
she shakes me from side to side. I cant do
much with my arms forced down against my
sides, so I glance back to the ring. The ring is
suddenly filled with press and teammates
and reporters. I cant see Seth at all and Im
probably not going to for a while.

635/723

Well wait for them back in the locker

room. Selena smiles, hooking her arm
around mine and dragging me from my row.
I let her lead me because my body is still
in shock. What a flip aroundI bet everyone
thought Junior was going to take that one.
Not to mention Sethand the look on his
face when he was absolutely dominating
Junior. Pure hunger. He wanted to win, and
he did. He certainly did.
***
Selena and I jump as the room door
swings open and crashes into the concrete
wall. Whoops and cheers fill the otherwise silent room as loads of people fill it to the
brim. Selena leaves my side the second Jackson makes himself present, but I decide to
linger in the background on the couch. Im
sitting on my hands to stop the excited,
anxious energy that still flowed through me.

636/723

Will I ever get used to this lifestyle? I dont

like feeling like this, like Im on the edge of a
panic attack, but on cloud nine as well.
I won. His rough, tired voice hits me
and clings to my skin. As a result, goosebumps form. I look up at him from underneath my eyelashes and I unashamedly let
my eyes drag up his slim waist and broad
shoulderseven covered in someone elses
blood, he makes liquid pool between my legs.
I saw. I cant help the smile that pulls at
the corner of my lips.
Did you like it?
I frown. My over-heated body tells me to
nod, but my over-caring brain tells me to
shake my head. He started bleeding
Seth glances down at his blood-speckled
body. I think I know that better than
anybody.
Did you like it? I ask, slipping across on
the couch, subtly inviting him to sit down.

637/723

He drops onto the couch and his gloveless

hands reach out to me. They grip my sweater
and he pulls me close to his damp body. I
grip his hard forearms for stability as my
body presses against his. Blood from his skin
soaks into the white fabric, but Im too captivated by his raw power to care. I swallow
hard as my gaze falls to his split lip.
Do I give you the answer you want, or do
I tell you the truth?
Always the truth.
My eyes lock onto his lips and I follow
them all the way to my cheek before they disappear into my hairright by my ear. I
fucking loved it.
The rumble from his chest vibrates down
my spine and into my core, threatening to
shake me to my foundations.
Why? I whisper back to him.
To feel someone break under your control is addicting, to overpower someone who
desperately wants to overpower you is

638/723

thrilling, and to destroy someone who thinks

theyre better than you is satisfying.
I fight the urge to roll my eyes. All of this,
everything he puts himself through, is only
to prove that he is the best at what he does?
Will I ever understand man logic?
You do it all to be number one?
He shrugs. Well, I sure as hell wont
settle for second best.
Whoooo! Jackson hollers, interrupting
Seth and I. Were going to hit the town hard
tonight, ladies and gentlemen. You keen?
I practically recoil from his words. No way
in hell am I going out tonight. Im done with
clubs and alcohol, for good. Well, Im done
with clubs, anyway. Alcohol, I might do a few
more times.
Like at my wedding.
My wedding!
I purse my lips against squeeing out
loud. I jump, completely pulled from
thoughts of my possible wedding dress as

639/723

Seth slaps his hand down on my thigh and

squeezes me.
What?
Do you want to go out?
I shake my head. Ive had more than
enoughexcitementhis eyes flarefor
one night.
Seth looks up at Jackson. Sorry, man.
Were going straight home.
Jackson blinks a few times. And then a
few times more. I get that she wants to stay
home, but theres no way in hell Im going to
let you stay home.
Selena shakes her head at me, all while
smiling like Im the most interesting specimen on the planet.
You won your first professional fight,
man. Come with me tonight, have some fun
and well get back into training tomorrow.
I nudge Seths knee with mine. Go, have
fun. Ill still be here when you get home.

640/723

His brown eyes roam me and I see the cog

wheels in his eyes as he decides his next
move. Deep down, Im secretly hoping he
takes Jackson up on his offer. Finishing the
book Im reading and getting a full nights
sleep is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Fine. Seth exhales. Ill come out with
you.
Awesome! Jackson whips around on his
heel and dives into the madness of the excited teammates and over the other side to
Darryl. Selena drops onto the couch next to
me.
Are you sure you dont want to come
out?
I shake my head. I need sleep.
She pouts. We wont go to any strip
clubs.
Strip clubs or no strip clubs, I want to
shower, read my book, and go to bed.

641/723

Selena rolls her eyes and leans forward on

her elbows. You picked a real badass here,
Seth.
Seth smiles a warm smile, eliciting one in
return from me. And out of nowhere, he
shoots forward, planting his lips on mine. I
wrap my arms around his neck without
thought and urge him harder against me.
Behind me, Selena groans and I feel pressure lift off the chair. You two are dirty.
I smile, not only because thats awfully
rich coming from her, but because we are
dirty and theres no one else in the world Id
rather be dirty with. Only Seth. Only the man
who helped me put an end to my dead end
relationship, supported me during the sudden passing of my father, and took me higher
than any rocket ever could. I love him and
every dirty array of public affection he gives
me, and if that means Im dirtythen I never, ever want to be clean.

Chapter TwentyThree
Seth
I draw my fourth whiskey and Coke to my
lips. I swear each swallow rests not in my
stomach, but on my eyelids, making them
heavier. I stand at the over-crowded bar,
away from Jackson and Selenas make out
session. Now I know how they feel when I attack Olivia in front of them. Still, Im not

643/723

going to stop. I kiss Olivia whenever the hell

I feel like kissing her and I guess Jackson is
the same. A loud eruption of laughter explodes from my table and I glance over my
shoulder. Darryl shifts in his chair and tugs
on his white button up shirt, as if hes trying
to loosen it. Hes having fun and its just as
much his and Jacksons night as it is mine. I
turn from the bar and my head spins a little.
I smile. I havent felt this good in a while and
the three shots I took before my whiskeys are
just starting to settle in. This whiskey will
definitely have to be my last one.
I walk towards the table, holding my drink
low. About ten feet away, Im stopped in my
tracks by a short woman and my eyes automatically zero in on her huge fake tits that
protrude out of her tight, red tube dress.
Hey, you, she purrs. Remember me?
Fuck, she knows who I am, but Ive never
seen her before. I lift my gaze to her bright,
cherry red lips and finally a pair of bright

644/723

blue eyes masked by too much smoky

makeup. Her small hands run over my chest
and down my biceps, feeling as much of me
as she could. Normally, (and by normally I
mean before Olivia) Id probably take this
girl homeIm not an idiot, shes gorgeous in
that fake kind of way. Unfortunately for her,
theres only one pair of thighs Id like to slide
between tonight and every other night for
the rest of my life.
I was wondering when I was going to run
into you again, she adds, squeezing me for
extra measure.
Uh I chuckle nervously. Look,
Samantha-
Her drawn on eyebrows pull in close.
Nicole.
Shit. NicoleIt still doesnt ring any
bells. Right. Listen, Im only here for a drink
with my friends.
Her hands glide back up my arms and
down my chest before curling around the

645/723

hem of my jeans. I analyze her for a moment,

trying to link her face to her nameI cant.
Instead, Im distracted by the way she looks.
There was once a time I was into that whole
porn star lookI cant say it does too much
for me now. Her index finger sweeps a little
too low and I snatch her wrists with my free
hand and move them away from my body.
Even in the dim club, I see her eyes flare. She
likes the challenge. Nicole shrugs out of my
grasp and inches closer, making me more
frustrated than aroused. Ive been trying to
be a better person for Olivia, in terms of my
promiscuity, and right now I feel like Im doing something wrong. Its a feeling that
twists at my stomach, I hate it and this woman is testing my patience.
Im sure your team can waitcome with
me. I wont take up too much of your time.
Let me take care of you.
Nicole rakes her teeth over her bottom lip
and I sigh. Not out of defeat, but out of

646/723

boredom. Ive had girls of every kind and

every shapemore than Im willing to admitand this girl is attractive, but Im not
going to risk my relationship with Olivia for
her. Lets be honest for a second, how good is
this girl in bed really if I couldnt even remember her name or her face?
Thanks, but I have a girl at home who
takes care of all my needs. With a tight
smile, I attempt to step past her, but she
sidesteps and blocks me. I clench my glass
tighter and expel a gust of air through my
nose.
Believe me, I can make you forget all
about her.
Nicoles words strike a chord inside me
and I narrow my eyes at her. Theres no
doubt in my mind that her over-used mouth
can show me a good time. She can probably
suck my dick well and have me coming in
minutes, but I dont want it. I dont want her.
Nicole touches me again. Her long

647/723

fingernails slowly stroking a silver button on

my steel grey shirt. What do you say?
She really doesnt want to know what I
have to say. I grit my teeth together against a
copious amount of bad names and hurtful
words. I say you try your luck elsewhere,
sweetheart.
She steps closer, her body almost pressing
against mine. The distinct smell of cigarette
being masked by an expensive cherry perfume has my nose twitching. Sorry, darling.
Im after a ten tonight, nothing less.
And here I was thinking only men rated
women on a scale of one to ten. I lower my
head to her ear and as my breath blows over
her skin, I hear her breath catch.
No, thank you.
Her hands fall away from me and Im finally able to push past her. I dont dare look
over my shoulder for fear of inviting her into
my personal space again. I saunter over to
the table and drop into an empty seat. Darryl

648/723

and the rest of the team have left, leaving me

alone with Selena and Jackson.
Who was that? Selena asked.
I look up at her and shes trying really
hard to be calm, but I can see the anger in
her posture. Her arms are crossed tightly
across her chest, covering the cut out that exposed the majority of her breasts. Im sure if
this were a manga cartoon, shed have one of
those little exasperated squiggles on her
forehead. I smile at the thought.
Nobody. Im not sharing shit with
Selena. She talks way too much and Olivia
doesnt need to hear about this. Not because
Ive done anything wrong, but because what
happened in the past (if it happened in the
past) needs to stay in the past. I cant confirm nor deny if I had sex with that girl. I
dont remember her face and I know it
makes me look like a total assholebelieve
meI feel like it, but it is what it is. I wont
take full blame for being a using asshole,

649/723

though. They let me use them and on most

occasions they approached me for sex. I
merely took what was offered. Sue me.
Didnt look like nobody to me. You two
seemed pretty comfortable.
Jackson groans. Selena, let it go. He
didnt do anything wrong.
Of course, she ignores Jacksons advice.
And she keeps looking over at you from the
bar.
I draw my cup to my lips and take a long
sip. Selena grows more agitated with every
second I dont respond. When shes fully
arched up, I lower my cup and speak.
Its a free country. She can look at me all
she likes, and as long as she doesnt touch,
Im sure Olivia wont mind. I place my glass
on the table. Like Jackson said, I did nothing wrong. I turned down an invitation for
sex, yet youre looking at me like I had a
quickie in the bathroom.

650/723

Im not looking at you like anything. Im

just worried for
Dont be, I interrupt, letting my frustration get the best of me. Let me worry about
Olivia. I look after her better than you ever
did.
Her eyes widen and she takes offense to
what I said by scoffing at me. She angles her
body towards Jackson, waiting for him to defend her; instead, he looks at her and shrugs
his shoulders. With another scoff, Selena
flicks her curly blonde hair over her shoulder
and sits back in her seat, crossing her legs as
tightly as her crossed arms. Jackson leans
forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his
jean-clad knees and his seedy, drunk gaze
rolls onto me.
To the bar?
I nod my head, wanting an excuse to get
away from Selenas condemning glare. She
takes a long, hard gulp of her beer before
pulling out her cellphone. I contemplate

651/723

demanding her to tell me what shes doing,

but I let it go. I have done nothing wrong tonight and overreacting will only make it
seem like Im guilty. The only thing Im
guilty of is never wanting to see Olivia hurt
or doubt that Im faithful to her.
I push off of my chair, abandoning my
current drink. At the bar, Jackson hands me
another beer and I hesitate for a second before I take it and bring it to my lips. I know I
should stop. The more I drink the more I
lash outand Selena has already got on my
nerves once tonight. I have so much pent up
inside me that I want to say to herthat I
want to blame her forand I dont think
Olivia or Jackson will appreciate it if I let it
all out. I dont think theres a nice way of
calling someone a messI grin into my beer
bottle right before I take a long sip. I cant
wrap my head around Selena. Shes this out
of control woman who has no goals in life
and only aspires to drag people down with

652/723

her. I suppose she has to have some other

side to her that no one sees. Why else would
Jackson stick around? I know for a fact he
likes easy going, submissive girls. He likes
girls that can break easily and cave at his
every whim, and Selena doesnt seem like
that kind of person. Shes too stubborn and
bitchy to go along with Jacksons shit. Then
again, who knows who Jackson and Selena
really are? They both seem to have lots of
hidden shit they keep to themselves. Jackson
with his ex-bitch-whore and Selena with her
dador whatever, her story still remains a
mystery to me.
Dont worry about Selena, he tells me.
You know how she is about Olivia. Jackson
rolls his eyes and pulls at the blue collar of
his shirt.
For someone who claims to be so protective of her, she sure put Olivia in some shit
situations.

653/723

He takes a sip of his beer. Yeah, but

Selena is her best friend. Theyre allowed to
do stupid shit and make bad decisions. Fuck,
we didwe still do.
But Olivia is
Human. I know you love her and youre
getting married and all of that crazy shit, but
shes still human. Shes curious, and impulsive and known to make bad decisions at
times, but she has history with Selena. They
grew up together and theyre best friends.
Dont belittle Selena because you see her as a
threat.
A threat? I dont see Selena as a threat, do
I? No. Selena is not a threatshes just
trouble. Id never do anything to force Selena
and O apart, but Selena needs to realize that
Im not going to step to the side and let her
force Olivia into stupid situationsand she
also needs to realize that Im not like Blade. I
appreciate what I have. I know Olivia is one
in a million and I wouldnt fuck that up, not

654/723

even for all of the cherry-lipped, big breasted

women in the world. Trading someone you
love for something you lust is like trading a
grilled chicken salad for a bag of potato
chips. Sure, they taste good while youre eating them, but when its finished, you feel sick
and youre still hungry. Meanwhile, the guy
with the chicken salad is satisfied, he feels
good, and hes nourishing his body with real
nutrients. Blade took his chicken salad and
traded it for a bag of chips because hes a
fucking idiot. Now, I have the salad and I
wont trade it for anythingchips, cake,
chocolate or otherwise. If only Selena would
stop trying to convince herself that Im
scouting for chips.
I slam the last of my thirdfourth? Second. I say out loud in an awkward, kind of
slurry tone. Now I remember. This is my
second beer.
Jackson chuckles as my head violently
rolls. Five. Youve had five beers, mate.

655/723

Either Im hearing things, or Jacksons

voice is slurred, too. Fuuuuck. I need to go
home. Selena appears at Jacksons side and
she wraps an arm around his waist. He leans
a lot of his weight on her and she groans under the pressure. Its seven beers for the
both of you. Time to go.
Selena stumbles with Jackson across the
club floor. I look aroundthe club has
wound down and only handfuls of people litter the room instead of throngs. I follow behind the others, proud with how straight Im
walking. In front of Selena and Jackson,
Darryl is being carried out by another one of
my teammatesAaron, our towel guy. Compared to them, I must look sober and when I
think about it, Im not that drunk, just heavily tipsy.
I snap my attention to the left as a heavy
arm hooks around mine. I glance down, only
to see Nicole, hanging off my arm. Leaving
so soon, honey?

656/723

I feel my body sag into itself. Howd I not

see this coming? I was hoping she left hours
ago.
Whos place, mine or yours?
I free my arm from hers and stop walking.
Im too tired for this shit now. My eyes are
heavy, I can barely keep them open and my
head is dangerously close to toppling off my
neck.
I am going home to my fiance, alone.
She smiles. Im not going to get out of
this, am I? Seth Marc, settling down. When
we met, you didnt even ask for my name and
now youre settling down. She shakes her
head and sighs. How ironic. Anyway, its almost morning and I live the next street over.
Go home to the other woman in the morning. She doesnt have to know.
In front of, us Selena snaps around, leaving Jackson to keep his balance on his own.
Didnt you hear him? He said he has a
fiance. The growl in Selenas voice triggers

657/723

Jackson and puts him on edge. He sobers

and grabs her wrist, holding it tightly. Selena
isnt exactly a lets talk it out kind of girl, apparently, and Im way too tired and tipsy to
break up a cat fight.
Nicole smiles. You say that like it means
anything in Vegas. She turns her gaze on
me. Last chance, baby, come home with
me.
Selena steps forward with a grunt, but
Jackson pulls her back. Selena, stop, he orders and she stills in her movements, but her
eyes never leave Nicoles face.
I have to deal with this, not Selena. Ive
given this woman a few chances to walk away
unhurt, but now I have to take matters into
my own hands. If she wants a straight out,
curt, brutal answer, shes going to get one.
I dont want to go home with you, I tell
her. Im looking at you and I dont remember a goddamn thing about you. Sure, I could
go home with you now, have sex and leave,

658/723

but I guarantee Id forget youagainby

lunch time tomorrow. Her lips part and she
narrows her eyes at me in an ugly scowl. Id
much rather go home to the girl that I love. A
girl that could be standing naked in a pitchblack room and Id still be able to kiss every
single freckle in their exact location going off
my memory alone. She shifts her posture
and I hear Selena snicker under her breath.
You are forgettable because youre like
everyone else and the girl Im going home to,
isnt.
Not waiting for a response or a reaction, I
walk off, passing Selena and Jackson and
ending up outside in the cool desert air. The
bouncer slaps my back on the way out and
murmurs words of congratulations that I
dont hear. I just want to go home. Ive
spoken to enough people and Ive done
enough interviews for one day. Not to mention all of the interviews and talk shows I
have to do the next two weeks leading up to

659/723

my fight with Don. Selena busts out of the

door after me, squealing like a baby pig. I
cringe and watch her as she runs towards me
and flings her arms around my neck.
I believe you. She laughs, squeezing me.
I pat her back and frown at Jackson, who
smiles widely walking out of the club.
She lets go and steps back. I believe that
you really do love Olivia and all doubts I had
are gone.
Good, now I can breathe a little easier because this whole marriage thing depended
purely on what you thought. I try to keep
my face serious, but I fail and smile. Selena
rolls her eyes.
Thank you, I tell her. Now lets go
home.
Right on cue, a taxi pulls up and Aaron
drags Darryls heavy, alcohol-filled body over
to it. I open the door then Aaron stuffs him
inside and climbs in after him. I dont know
how, but all four of us managed to fit inside

660/723

and I think I fell asleep against Selenas

shoulderthe next thing I remember is her
poking my head with an awkwardly twisted
hand and looking at me like Im meant to be
doing something.
Open the door, she says. The other one
is broken.
I glance at Aaron, who holds Darryl as far
away from him as he can. Darryl is curled up
against the far door with his mouth open as
he drools onto his own shoulder. Classy. I
laugh at him while Jackson fumbles into his
jean pockets for his phone. He opens his
camera and takes snapshot of Darryl.
Im saving that for later, Jackson slurs,
zooming in on Darryls face.
I open the door and practically fall from
the car. I draw myself to full height and I
dont wait for the others as I stumble
through the lobby of the MGM and into a
random elevator. I dont pay any attention to
my surroundings. My brain is too mushy to

661/723

absorb any of the details and after twenty

minutes of strolling around, I finally make it
to my door. I reach into my back pocket and
the only thing that touches my fingers is the
denim fabric. Its empty. Shit. I left my key
card inside on the coffee table. I bang my
head softly against the doorWhat the hell
am I going to do? I didnt plan on waking
Olivia up when I came home and I was even
going to sleep on the couch. The wood collides with my numb head a few more times
as I bang it quietly against the timber.
Minutes later, when I look around the hallway for a comfortable spot to fall asleep, the
door to our room opens. My eyes drag up her
bare legs, over a pink see-through sleep dress
thing and settle on two nipples barely hidden
by the sheer fabric. The visions soak into my
eyes and drips down my insides, pooling
right between my legs. I want to peel it off
with my teeth.

662/723

Seth? Wheres your keycard? She yawns,

husky from sleep.
I force my eyes up to her face and she
swats a stray strand of chocolate colored hair
away from her cheek.
I didnt mean to wake you.
Stutter. I almost fucking stutter at my
wife-to-be because shes wearing a seethrough babydoll. What am I, sixteen?
You didnt mean to wake me? You were
banging pretty hard.
Was I? Maybe Im drunker than I thought.
Forgetting everything at the words banging
and hard that fell from her lips, I launch at
her and force her back into the room. I kick
the door shut as my arms wrap around her
waist and I draw her into me. I have her face
in my hands and I pull her mouth to mine.
The taste of her mouth brings my dick to a
painful point of confinement in my jeans.
She wraps her arms around my waist,
hanging on for dear life as my mouth molds

663/723

to her. Her touch sends a streak of fire

through me as she parts her lips to my kiss
and our tongues rush to meet. Just as abruptly as I started it, I break the kiss, holding
Olivias flustered face inches from my own,
drilling her with my stare.
Ride me, I breathe, desperate to feel her
warmth engulf me. Make me yours.
Youre already mine, she points out and
I shake my head.
I want to her to claim me so hard other
girls can smell her on me. You have to prove
it over and over for the rest of our lives. I
want to be reminded. Every time I forget,
claim me back, just like I would for you.
She gulps deep, slow breaths and the
seconds begin to feel like small eternities.
Without an answer, she slowly, deliberately,
rises up on tip-toe to capture my lips. A low
groan comes from deep in my throat, and my
hands touch her everywhere at once, popping the dainty buttons on her babydoll,

664/723

freeing her breasts from the fabric, lifting the

dress over my hips and tearing her flimsy
underwear from her body. How many
panties do I have to go through before she
gets the picture? Maybe I should put up a
sign. This house is a panty free zone.
Olivia yanks my shirt open, destroying the
buttons on my clothes for a change. The
heavy buttons drop to the floor with little
plops as her fingertips lightly tease the hot
skin of my stomach, my hips, and then skilfully divesting my belt, and opening my button fly.
My mouth joins my hands in the endeavor
to touch every inch of her skin and a violent
shudder tears through her body .My mouth
is at her neck, her lipsher eyelids in a heart
beat, and I grip her elbows and draw her
back with me, until my calves hit the couch
and I fall into the seat, dragging her down
onto my lap. Olivias legs straddle me, her
warm strong thighs above mine as our kisses

665/723

grow wild and bruising. My hands engulf her

breasts and the feel of her smooth, milky
skin causes a light layer of goosebumps to
erupt over me. I lay kisses down her throat to
the swell of her breasts. Above me, I can feel
the hot, silky smoothness of her center
brushing against my shaft. The tip of my dick
is wet with pre-cum and Olivia raises herself
up slightly, maneuvering her opening over
my crystal-hard erection. As the warmth of
her creases graze my eager tip, our frenzied
movements halt and we freeze, both caught
in the others gaze. She looks at me differently than she ever has beforetheres no
soft, gentle look to her, only the fierce arousal her lust-filled lids revealed and Im certain
Im mimicking it. My hands grip her hips
and I harshly thrust up, forcing Olivia to
plunge down. She lets out a strangled moan
and I cup the back of her head, fastening my
mouth over hers to swallow the sounds of
pleasure shes making. She feels amazing, so

666/723

tight and ready for me, that I have to be careful not to come right now.
Ride me, I demand, stilling my hips and
letting her take control.
She gasps and her breath is steamy as it
skirts across my jaw. Her walls flutter and
clench around me.
Fuck, I moan, letting my head roll back
against the couch. Squeeze me again. Her
legs twitch around me as her pussy clenches
and she rises up and sinks back down on me.
Squeeze, relax, Squeeze, relax. Heat coils
in my stomach and rolls through my body in
perfectly timed waves. I grip her hips harder,
she knows just how to bring me over the
edge, how to use her body to make me come
for herand she gets better at it every time
we fuck. Olivia begins to lose her rhythm, as
her walls tighten and she draws nearer to orgasm. I love it. I love that I have the power to
make her lose control.

667/723

Are you going to come? I ask and she

bites down on her bottom lip, nodding
profusely.
So fucking hard, she squeezes out.
I push her off of me, laying her on her
back on the couch. Her legs surround my
waist and she pushes herself up on her elbows to get closer to my mouth. Her wetness
flows on my cock and I slip in and out with
ease. Olivia makes a high moaning noise in
the base of her throat and against my lips before she drops against the couch, arching her
back.
Seth,
she
gasps
in
warning.
SethSeth My name comes out in heavy
pants and not a second later, her pussy
clamps down on my thick cock. I pump her
harder and faster as everything tightens inside me. The pressure in my groin builds up
to absurdly high levels and my head fills with
white noise as I reach my limit and sail over
the edge, groaning and flooding her with hot,

668/723

sticky fluid. My arms tremble under my

weight as I hold myself above her and I give
in, lowering myself onto her chest. Olivia
wraps her tired arms around me and she
kisses my damp forehead. I angle my head
down to hers and she slowly lifts her mouth
to meet mine. She explores my mouth lazily
with her lips and tongue, and I threaten to
fall asleep while she does it.
I love you, I mutter, pulling away.
She lets her fingers trail down the side of
my neck. I love you, too.
Im proud of myself for not being as rough
with her as my body and my mind wanted to
be. I close my eyes, completely at peace. This
is the most peace I will feel until after I defeat Don. The next two weeks are going to fly
by in a blur. Theyll bring me nothing new,
but after the fight, my world will changefor
better or for worse

669/723

And Im praying to Godor whoever is

fucking listeningthat Don is finally pushed
out of my life.

Chapter Twenty-Four
Olivia
Four weeks. Ive been in Vegas four weeks
and yet, I feel like Ive only been here a
couple of days. Everything has gone so fast,
its like I blinked and whole days are missing.
Nothing big has happened over the course of
the four weeks, besides Seth proposing to me
and winning his first professional fight. This
fight, the one with Don tonight, is the first
time in MMAC history that a professional

671/723

MMA fighter will fight an amateur fighter in

an arena of this scale. Mandalay BayI
glance around the large arena. It seats twelve
thousand people and Im sure every seat is
taken to watch the rematch between the two
rivals. The air is heavy with anticipation. I
can hear the laughs and giggles of spectators
in my row. It crackles along the seats and vibrates my body. Im not excitednot like
everyone else is. Theres a flush of heat that
pulses through me with every bout of nausea
and my chest tightens anxiously.
Selena sticks a bag of chips under my nose
and I recoil away from it with a shake of my
head. The thought of eating right now churns
my already violent stomach. The chair next
to me shakes as a large man drops himself
down next to me. Ive never seen him before,
but hes wearing a black shirt that reads
DON and I decide, rather quickly, that I
dont like him. Anyone who would root for
someone like Don is an idiot. I look down at

672/723

my own shirt and smirk. Im happy I packed

my SETH shirt. I havent worn it since his
first fight in Portland, Maine and I figured
hell like seeing it on me again. It might ease
some of his anxiety, considering I couldnt
see him before this fight.
Darryl wants Seth to be wound up and on
edge for this fight. Dont ask me why, I have
no idea. None of them share any of their
thoughts about the fights with me, which I
didnt particularly mind, until tonight. Seth
contested Darryl, refusing to leave his locker
room until I came in, but Darryl still sent me
away. He knows Seth wont forfeit a match
with Don Russell and he wanted to kick it
old school, having Seth wind down with boxing bags and skipping ropesin order to
warm up before the fight. If that makes
senseit doesnt really make much sense to
me, but I went along with it, regardless. I
zone out as the announcer beings to speak,

673/723

but the second a familiar beat begins to play,

my body forces me to tune back in.
My blood bubbles and pulses through my
body to the beat of the music and I subtly
squeeze my sweaty palms together. I eagerly
scan the crowd, waiting for Seth to appear
and every second his song plays and I dont
see his fierce figure storming out here, the
more my excitement melts into worry. Then,
I hear the roar of the crowd as everyone
jumps to their feet, sending my nerves reeling and my heart pounding. Here he comes.
The cheers grow nearer, the closer he gets
to the stage and I cant see him over the
shaking, yelling bodies over the other spectators. I see the top of his black hoodie first
and as he rounds the corner, his entire glorious body comes into view. His mouthpiece
forces his lips to protrude, giving him a darker edgenot that he needs it.

674/723

His eyes scan over my row and my lips

part as heavy breaths escape me. When his
stare fall onto me, I cease to breathe.
With a twitch of his lips, he turns from me
and shrugs out of his hoodie. Jackson throws
it over his own shoulder and slaps him on
the back as he bounds up the stairs and into
the cage. My lungs ache and I release the
breath I was holding as Seth does his usual
circle of the ring, bouncing on the tips of his
toes and shaking his wrists. Theres no cockiness to his movements, he moves with absolute purpose. Tonight isnt a game. Tonight is
Seths one chance to remove Don from his
lifefrom our life.
Seths music cuts off and the announcer
calls out Dons weight, reach, and height before dragging out his name. A loud, metal
song blast through the speakers and I cringe.
So much anger and hate this guy has. I
shake my head. The crowd cheers and claps,
but the intensity of it isnt like it was with

675/723

Seth. The crowd respects Seth. Most of them

follow his career and witnessed him beat his
experienced opponent two weeks ago. Don
tears around the corner, topless and eager.
Hes determined to take back everything
Seth took from him. Dons eyes flick onto me
and I scowl as he winks, puckering his lips at
me over his mouthpiece.
Fucking hell. Selena chuckles under her
breath. That guy has a death wish.
Seth sees Don look at me and I see his fingers clenching at his sides. He rolls his neck
over his shoulders and as Don bounds up the
stairs and into the ring, Seth steps forward,
getting right in his face. My heart races as
the crowd goes berserk, fueling the already
tense relationship between the two fighters.
The referee is on them immediately, ordering
them to their corners. As they separate, the
crowd sighs in bitter disappointment.

676/723

Theres a lot of animosity in the cage tonight, ladies and gentlemencan you feel
it?
The crowd explodes with cheers and applause. They cant wait a second longer for
the fight to start. They want bloodshed and
they want it now. The camera crew and the
announcer leave the cage and I start chewing
my fingernails. If only Dad was here right
nowhed know the right thing to say to ease
me into this fight. I need him to assure me
that Seth is going to win. I need to see the excitement on his face when the bell dings and
Seth gets the first punch.
Dons got this, the large guy next to me
mutters. I turn my head to look at him and
he smirks at me.
If you think so.
His bright blue eyes flare. I know so.
I roll my eyes and turn my attention back
to the cage. I really hope Seth wins now so I
can rub it into the strangers big, fat face.

677/723

The referee calls the two fighters to the

center of the ring. Each referee is different.
Some prefer them to touch gloves before the
bell rings, others prefer them to touch after
the bell rings. Either way, the fight cannot
commence until they touch gloves.
Don and Seth meet in the middle. I see the
referees lips move, undoubtedly telling them
to touch gloves. Neither fighter moves.
Theres a silent war going on between them
and the crowd watches in silencewaiting
for war to break out.
I swear I can hear the rapid heartbeat of
every spectator, mine included, and a crackle
of excitement flows over us as Don extends
his hand first. Seth smacks it away and a unanimous sharp intake of air is heard
throughout the arena. The referee steps
between them, sending them back to their
corner. He points at each and they nod their
heads. Then, the bell rings and my vision
wavers with the ringing. I take a long, slow

678/723

breath and close my eyes in an attempt to

calm myself. Olly, relax. Its just a fight, I tell
myself, pretending its Dads voice. Nobody
is going to die.
The thought makes me feel better and I
open my eyes to see Seth coming in quickly,
ducking and dodging Dons swings and
punching him wherever he can. With every
fist that connects, the crowd gasps and
cheers. I chew my bottom lip, counting down
the seconds of the round. Don throws a
counter punch, going for a quick left jab and
to everyones surprise, Seth dodges the
punch, responding with his own left jab, followed by a quick right uppercut to Dons jaw.
You can tell Seth is in the gameall of his
movements are planned and precise. Its almost like he knows Dons moves in advance.
Seth is absolutely dominating this round and
despite how much I dont like watching
people fightI know Ill enjoy watching Don
fall.

679/723

Hit after hit they exchange, neither of

them growing tired of smacking the other.
Two minutes into the round, when both Don
and Seth are bleeding, Don takes the plunge
and dives at Seth and the two become a
swamp of flesh as they roll around, trying to
get the drop on the other. I feel my hands
creep up my neck and over my mouth as they
each struggle to dominate the other. As the
round draws to a close, Seth gets the upper
hand. He straddles Don, pushing down on
his chest. Seth drops an elbow on his face
and I gasp, feeling the blood drain from my
face as Dons own blood pours from his eye. I
hate Don, everyone knows that, but I still
cant enjoy watching him suffer like this. Its
not okay. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip
and cringe as Seth drops another and another, splitting Dons brow wider. Theres so
much blood, but the ref doesnt call the fight.
I feel Selena lean into me. Im going to
the bathroom and Ill probably miss the rest

680/723

of the fight, so Ill meet you in the locker

room after Seth wins. I nod my head, sparing a glance in her direction. She winks at me
and the big guy beside me chuckles under his
breath. I peer slyly at him, but he gives no indication that he heard what Selena said, so I
turn my attention back to the fight. Seth has
this in the bag, Dons face is almost purple,
but he refuses to tap out. Seth chokes Don
harder with his own arm and the crowd goes
mental, cheering and begging to kill Don. I
bounce my legs and tap my fingers against
my jeans. Its the only way I can express my
anxiety and excitement without jumping up
and down and actually looking like I support
the violent sport.
I see Dons resolve finally give way and his
fingers twitch toward Seths arm. This is it!
My heart levitates in my chest, hovering dangerously close to my throat and threatening
to fly up and out. Seth deserves this. He deserves this win over Don. As I shift in my

681/723

seat, I feel the unmistakable pressure of a

large hand sliding over the top of my thigh. I
jump up and away from the guy next to me.
What the He follows, grabbing at me
and pulling me into him. He pins my arms to
my side and holds me against his body. I
struggle against him and get nowhere. No
one steps in to help me and I realize its because we look like were a couple hugging.
What the hell?
Let me go! I shout, but no one hears me
over the roar of the crowd.
I look at Darryl and Jackson, but theyre
too consumed in the fight to pay me any attention. Is this seriously happening? Damn,
Selena. I wish she never went to the toilet.
Out of panic, I look to Seth and I startle
when I see his eyes on me. My heart beats in
my chest as he lets Dons arm go.
No! I shout, at the top of my lungs for
the first time ever. What are you doing? Get
the tap out and then help me!

682/723

Without a second to catch his breath, Don

shoots to his feet and takes Seth down.
Theres a fumble of arms and legs before Don
straightens Seths arm out.
No! The whole crowd is yelling with me
now and all I can feel is the vibrating
laughter of the asshole holding me. Tears
well in my eyes as Seths face becomes
strained and his elbow begins to bend in the
opposite direction. He wont tap out. Hed
rather Don break his arm than submit to him
and admit Don is stronger. Don is the weakest person Ive ever met. Hes sneaky, arrogant and asshole-ish. He knew Seth would
beat himhe planned this. He planned to
distract Seth, knowing he could never beat
him. And it workedworst of all, it fucking
worked.
***

Seth

683/723

I have his own arm around his neck.

Nothing is more embarrassing than choking
yourself out in a fight. All of this is being recorded and I hope it haunts him for the rest
of his life.
Your girl. Don chuckles, his voice barely
audible.
I frown at him and pull his arm tighter.
He tries to laugh and uses his free hand to
point to something outside the cage. Out of
curiosity, I look up.
Through the black metal cage I see her.
My blood begins to boil at the way the huge
brute holds her. I recognize him immediately
as one of the large guys that jumped me outside my gym a while ago. I see his white
knuckles and fingers as he presses them into
her flesh. Hes a dead man. Out of nowhere,
my back slaps against the canvas as Don
throws himself on me. I try to fight him off
and get out from under him. This isnt about

684/723

the fight anymore. I dont want to kick the

shit out of Don, at least, not as badly as I
want to kill the man holding my woman. Don
wraps a leg over my chest and yanks on my
arm, straightening it out over his hips and
pulling downwards. Pain shoots from my elbow, radiating through my body and making
me cringe. Shit. Fuck! He has me in an arm
bara fucking arm bar!
I will not tap out.
Not to Don-fucking-Russell.
I angle my head and peer through the
cages wires. Color has drained from Olivias
face and even from here I can see the tears
welled up in her eyes.
Shes calling out to me, but I cant hear it
under the protest of the crowd. I feel two
pops in my elbow and I cringe as Don
straightens it further. My heart slams into
my lungs and my whole body is taut, fighting
against Dons strength. I dont take my eyes

685/723

off Olivia, who is desperately begging me to

tap. I cant.
I cant tap
Im prepared to let him break my arm.
Then, I see the one thing I never want to
see flash over Olivias countenancedisappointment. My heart dips, deflating into
nothing as my stomach churns. I cant believe Im about to do this. I cant believe Im
about to do what I told myself Id never do. I
grit my teeth against my pride and without a
second thought I slap my hand down onto
the canvas.
The bell rings.
The pressure on my arm is released.
and Ive lost the fight to Don Russell.
DonfuckingRussell.
Don leaps up and thrusts his arms in the
air.
Theres no time to let the feeling of failure
settle in before I jump to my feet and push

686/723

past a crowd trying to make their way into

the cage for photos and interviews.
Don set this whole fucking thing up! I
snap at Darryl as I pass him.
My eyes are on him, the guy that has my
girl tightly in his grasp. I push past a few
camera guys at the bottom of the stairs,
shoving one a little too hard and knocking
him on his ass. From my peripherals, I see
Jackson talking to meyelling at mebut I
dont stop. The brute lets her go as I approach and he cleverly hides behind Olivia,
knowing the rows are two small for me to get
to him without hurting her.
Youre going to put your hands on my
girl? I shout and a few people sitting flee
from their seats. Olivia races forward and
plants her hands on my stomach in an effort
to hold me back, but I continue to walk toward him without struggle.
Seth, dont. Its not worth it, dont do it,
she begs, tears still fresh in her eyes.

687/723

More of the crowd flees, afraid to get hurt

in the crossfire.
The big guy takes a step back as security
guards swarm in to protect him from me.
They circle us, pulling us back and out toward the rooms. Olivia clings to me as I push
against the guards, but theres too many of
them. As I peer over one of their shoulders I
see Jackson swing hard and connect with the
brute-assholes face. He goes down hard and
Jackson is crushed under the bodies of two
large security guards. Over the speakers, I
hear Matt Somers introduce Don as a new
contender in the MMAC. After that, all I see
is red.
The security guards throw us into my
locker room and shut the door. My entire
team buzzes with discussion on the fight and
how the ref should have called it when I was
smashing Don with my elbows. It doesnt
matter. It doesnt matter that Don set me up.
I fucking lost. For the first time in my life, I

688/723

lost a goddamn fight and it was to Don Russell. The thought sinks to my stomach like a
rock and I growl as Olivia cuts my gloves off.
When my hands are free, I push off the
bench, grab the nearest chair, and throw it
across the room. The whole team falls silent
and beside me I hear Olivia gulp.
Get out! I demand, not wanting any
sympathetic looks from them. I feel shit
enough. They open the door and the security
guards let them out. Olivia doesnt follow,
even though I wanted her to.
If youre going to look at me like that, you
can leave, too, I tell her, feeling my eyes
narrow.
She averts her gaze, dropping it to the
floor and fidgeting nervously with her fingers. It wasnt your fault, he played you,
she says to me, inching closer.
I still lost. Regardless of anything, I got
distracted and I lost the fight. Now, hes in
the same league as me. Now, Ill see him

689/723

everywhere and he will look at me with that

smug face and I just cantughhh! I lash
out and punch the brick wall.
Pain crepitates through my hand and I
like it. It takes the pressure of my chest.
***

Olivia
Its okay, I tell him, my throat becoming
thick with emotion as he hits the brick wall
again. I cringe as my hand aches in sympathy. He whips around and I take a defensive step back.
Its not okay! he shouts, kicking a stray
plastic chair halfway across the room. I jump
as it collides with the concrete wall and a
loud slap echoes around us. What about this
entire situation is okay? Are you okay with
Don being in the MMAC? He steps closer,
his eyes flaring violently and I shake my

690/723

head. Are you okay with him breathing

down your neck at events just to spite me?
Seth grips my arms and pulls me into him. I
shake my head again. Are you okay with
him touching you just to get a rise out of
me?
I swallow hard as my knees shake. No.
Then fill me in. Which part of this is
okay?
I blink rapidly as a hot tear rolls down my
cheek. None of it.
He lets me go and confirms my words.
None of it. So dont fucking tell me its okay.
Im not a child. I dont need to be reassured
with lies.
He reaches for his hoodie on the bench
and shrugs it on. He heads for the exit, grabs
a cap with the MMAC logo on it off the hook
and opens the door. The security guards arch
up at Seths appearance.
Where are you going? I shout.

691/723

Out. He slams the door, leaving me

alone in the room. I stare at the white door,
confused and hurt. My chest is tight and I
feel like Im wearing a corset four sizes too
small. Does he blame me? Is this my fault?
The door swings open as I sink to my knees
on the floor. Darryl and Selena step inside.
Instantly, Selena moves to my side and
places a comforting arm around my
shoulder. I wrap my arms around her waist
and cry freely into her shoulder.
O? she mumbles sympathetically.
I drop my head as the tears flow harder.
Ill go find him, Darryl mutters, closing
the door.
I didnt mean to I sniffle and Selena
pulls me close. It wasnt my fault.
I know, honey. Seths just mad. Hell be
okay once this all wears off.
I shake my head. She didnt see his
eyesshe didnt see how dark they were.
There was no love on his face, only pure

692/723

hate. She rocks me slowly as my mascaradarkened tears fall onto her pretty white
dress.
Lets get you home and when Seth comes
back, hell be calmer and you two can talk.
I peer up at her, feeling like a small child.
You think so?
She smiles, but even I can see her uncertainty. Yeah.
Selena drags me to my feet and I use the
bottom of my black shirt to wipe my face.
She keeps a comforting arm around me as
she escorts me from the room. As soon as
were in the hallway, people have their microphones and cameras in my face. Lights
are going off, questions are being thrown at
me and an overwhelming lump forces its way
into my throat again.
Piss off, vultures,. Selena growls, pushing me through the noisy crowd.
I wonder if Seth had to deal with them on
his way out or if he just missed them. They

693/723

all seem to be unscathed, so one can assume

they were lucky enough to avoid him.
Selena drops me home and then heads
back to the arena to find Jackson. No one
has seen him since he hit the guy that
grabbed me and we dont know if hes being
held in a security room somewhere or in
jailhe could be anywhere.
I pace the hallway outside our room for an
eternity and every time the elevator sounds
off, anticipation and fear washes over
meonly to be replaced by utter disappointment. I receive a text from Selena saying
Jackson is okay and theyre back in their
room. Two down and two to go. After my
second hour of pacing, I re-enter the room
and have a shower. I do everything in an
absent-minded daze, from undressing, to
washing myself and climbing into a cold
bedall of itI do without any real knowledge. The only thing I can think of is Seth
and what hes doing, and Don and what he

694/723

did. He didnt win the right to be in the

MMAC, he stole it. I hear the door downstairs shut and Im jerked from my thoughts.
My heart breaks through my lungs and slams
into my ribs as I peel the blankets back and
slide out of bed. I put my Seth shirt back on
and head down the stairs. The lights are off,
its dark, and if it werent for the bright neon
of Vegas that shine through the window, I
wouldnt have been able to see a damn
thingincluding Seth, who has dropped onto
the couch. I stroll over to him and my eyes
zero in on his chest, it rises and falls in an
even pant and my body almost sags in relief.
I lost, O. He sighs, leaning his elbows on
his knees. Im sorry.
Sorry? I drop to my knees in front of him
and run my hands up his thighs. You have
nothing to be sorry for.
I hear his breathing become uneven and
my body tenses. Is he crying? I cant tell. If

695/723

he is, hes doing a good job at concealing it

from me.
I wanted to win so badbut I fucked it
up.
Hey, I say with more aggression this
time. You did nothing wrong. You were perfect. Don played you.
And I let himI let him play me.
I hear Seth sniffle and he pulls away from
me, leaning his head on the back of the
couch. He is cryingand he doesnt have to
shield it from me, I wont hold it against him.
In my world, only real men cry. He pinches
the bridge of his nose and clears his throat,
forcing himself to stop.
I dont want to do this anymore. Fighting,
I mean. Im done.
Youre done, just like that?
He doesnt respond.
You beat Don months ago, did he quit?
You beat world wrestling champion Junior
Moset two weeks ago, do you think he quit?

696/723

Still nothing. No. Hes scheduled to fight

another opponent in two weeks. So you lost,
big deal. You showed everyone that youre
human, and wins dont stand out as much as
comebacks do. Do you think people will be
talking about Seths Marcs loss? No, theyll
be
talking
about
Don
Russells
comebackhis revengeand when you attend the press conference tomorrow morning, you will promise them an epic
comeback. You will promise to deliver your
fans Dons head on a silver-fucking-platter,
not disappoint them by quitting because it
got too hard.
He looks down at me. Is that what you
want me to do? To get revenge on him?
I want more than revenge, Seth. I want
you to humiliate him. I want you to beat him
so bad he gets a nervous twitch every time he
sees a cage.
Seths nods slowly, letting my words sink
in. Then thats exactly what Ill do.

697/723

***
Ill be back, Seth tells the cameras. In
four months Ill be back to put him in his
place, but first, Im going to go home, marry
my girl, and take her somewhere nice. I
hear the ring girls beside me sigh and I bite
back a smile. And when I get back, Im going to hurt Don beyond the point of redemption. Hell be so embarrassed by the beat
down I put on him, hell leave the MMAC for
good. That I promise you.
Seth winks at me, the small cut on his eyebrow bowing with it and I smile widely in
response.
You heard it, ladies and gentlemen, Matt
Somers announces with a wry smile. The
third and final fight between Seth Marc and
Don Russell will be settled in the cage on
July sixteenth.

698/723

And just like that, Matt forces Don back

into Seths life and the drama between the
two starts all over again, only this time, Seth
is out for blood.

Epilogue
Seth
Will you keep still? Mum scolds me,
fussing with my blue tie and making sure it
laid the proper way under my collar and
waistcoat.
What do you want me to do? I groan.
Im nervous.
Im more than capable of dressing myself,
but I let Mom do it, knowing that it makes

700/723

her feel good to fuss over me, like a real

mother would.
Youre marrying the love of your life. You
should be excited, not nervous.
She reaches around me and pulls my jacket off its coat hanger. Mom holds it open for
me and I slip my arms into it, shrugging it on
over my shoulders.
What, I cant be both? I ask and she
smooths the palms of her hands over my
shoulders and rolls her eyes. I adjust my
jacket, making sure it sits comfortably on me
as she reaches for the boutonniere of some
white flower and pins it to my lapel.
Why do I have to wear flowers? Im not
the bride.
From the couch next to me, Jackson
chuckles. Youve complained so much this
morning Im really questioning who exactly
the bride is today.
Now its my turn to roll my eyes.
Hilarious.

701/723

You wear it to match her, and its not just

a flower, its a phalaenopsis orchid blossom,
and it just so happens to be Olivias mothers
favorite flower so watch what you say about
it around her. That woman can be very
Intense, I answer.
Controlling, Jackson adds and we both
chuckle.
Are we talking about Olivias mom?
Maddi asks, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. How did she know
we were talking about Olivias mother?
Scratch that, how nice of her to make it. I
havent seen her since I gave her money to
stop strippingtwo months ago. I never received an RSVP back from hernot even a
text to say congratulations.
Youre alive, I deadpan.
Yeah, sorry, I kind of dropped off the face
of the Earth for a while. Im back now,
though. You didnt think Id miss your wedding, did you?

702/723

Actually, I did.
Never fear, brother. She laughs,
grabbing a fistful of her long, pink dress and
walking over to the couch. I wouldnt miss it
for the world. She drops in next to Jackson.
Its not every day you witness the
impossible.
Jackson snickers and I narrow my eyes at
them.
Enough, the pair of you. This is Seths big
day and we should be as supportive as we
can. Mom finishes pinning in the orchid and
takes a step back. Her floor length red gown
sways around her feet and tears well in her
eyes as she clasps her hands over her chest.
Perfect. She smiles up at me. You look so
handsome.
Gorgeous, Jackson snorts, nudging my
sister. I can hardly contain myself.
I ignore them and their snickering.
Theres a knock at the door and Darryl pops
his head inside.

703/723

All of the guests are here and Olivia is

ready. Are you?
Another bout of nervousness twists my
stomach, but I nod my head despite it. He
pushes the door open wider and I exit
through it. I stroll eagerly down a hallway
and out a small door, into the main room of
the large church. Lively chatter erupts on my
entrance, followed closely by Mom and
Maddi. They take their seats in the front row
and hold each others hands like theyve never had a disagreement in their lives. Its nice
to see. Its nice to see my family with some
semblance of love and normality after the
craziness of Dads death.
Jackson and Darryl will come in with the
bridal party. Olivia and I chose two people
each to be up here with us and we figured
wed choose the people that have been with
us since the beginningSelena, Darryl and
Jackson. I know that leaves us uneven, so I
did something secretive to level it out. The

704/723

color Olivia chose for the bridesmaids and

groomsmen to wear is a very nice pearly grey
broken up by a dark navy blue. So, I had a
tailor make a tuxedo out of the same material as Selenas bridesmaid dress. And then I
contacted Olivias brother, Chase. Surprisingly, he was more than happy to be one of
Olivias bridesmaids. She doesnt know I did
that for her and as far as shes concerned,
her brother is too busy to make it back home
for our wedding. I cant wait to see her face
and I hope Selena catches it all on camera
like I asked.
A second later, the piano begins to play,
cutting into my thoughts. The wedding is beginningmy wedding is beginning. My
palms becomes slick with sweat and I rub my
fingers against them, my eyes never leaving
the open doors at the back of the room.
Selena steps up to the door in her beautiful
gown and waits as both Darryl and Jackson
take her elbows.

705/723

I smile, knowing very well that my plan

has worked. Chase is here and hes going to
walk his sister down the aisle because Rick
isnt here to do it. And here she was thinking
she was going to have to walk alone. If Chase
couldnt make it, I was going to walk her my
damn self and hand her over to me on my
own. I smile again at my own ridiculousness.
I just want to make her happy.
Two little girls in poufy white dresses step
out of the door as Selena, Jackson and Darryl
reach the altar and join me on the top of the
stairs. The adorable little girls (Olivias cousins kids) coat the aisle in beautiful white,
grey, and blue flowers. I watch them only for
a few seconds before my eyes flit back to the
double doors. Shes next. Shes coming.
I dont know how this happened. I dont
know how I got to be the one at the altar,
waiting for the girl of my dreamsall I know
is, she wants me. She will want me forever.
Olivia makes me happy to be alivelike I can

706/723

do anything. Emotions well up in my throat

and I swallow hard and roll my shoulders to
rid myself of it.
Easy, big boy. Jackson chuckles under
his breath. Shes coming.
Then, I see white fabric flick over the edge
of the door and a second later, there she is.
My bride.
I cease to breathe as air flees from my
lungs at the vision of her in her beautiful
tight, white wedding dress. It clings to the
curves of her body, before flaring out at the
bottom, leaving a long trail of fabric behind
her. My stare drags up the rest of her body
and onto her face, thats hidden by a thin
white veil. On her arm, her proud brother
stands with his stern face and green eyes
locked on the altar in front of him. I hear
sniffles and gasps and low murmurs come
from our relatives, but I dont dare let my
eyes waver from the perfection strolling toward me. Now all I want is to see her face. I

707/723

want to see her emotionsto see if shes as

excited as I am.
In a few small eternities, shes in front of
me with her brother, a protective dog at her
side.
Shes yours now, Chase tells me. But Ill
always be looking over her shoulder. Treat
her welllike a princess.
I shake my head. Not like a princess.
Like a queen.
Chases lips pull into a wide smile and he
places her hand in mine. He gives Olivia one
kiss on the cheek and then steps down to
stand behind Selena, evening out the bridal
party. O clutches my hand tightly, eagerly,
lacing her warm, sweaty fingers through my
own. The priest begins to speak and I feel
Olivia become a little restless next to me.
When I peer at her, I hear her whisper fuck
it under her breath and she flicks the veil
over her head and throws herself at me,
crushing her mouth to mine. The guests

708/723

cheer and clap, hooting and hollering and

laughing at Olivias sudden urgency to kiss
me. Behind me, I hear Darryl and Jackson
groan and utter Jesus Christ under their
breaths. I dont have much time to register
the kiss, Im still stuck on the sudden
glimpse of her beautiful face. When my body
begins to react to her mouth, I wrap my arms
around her waist and pull her tighter to me.
When she pulls away, she whispers,.
Thank you so much, youve made my day.
Her eyes are damp with tears and her
voice seems shaky. I smile down at her and
pull the veil back over her face. Youre welcome. Now lets get married already.
She laughs up at me, stands back in her
place and apologizes to the reverend.
The reverend clears his throat. Lets try
that again. As Olivia and Seth take their vows
today, we are privileged to witness the joyous
love of a new familya family that will be
nourished and nurtured through the

709/723

devotion of two separate individuals growing

together through the common bonds of love.
May their marriage bring them the peace,
joy, comfort and contentment that is known
in the hearts of all Gods children.
I zone out and glance at Olivia. Through
the thin material, I can make out her lips as
she smiles widely at the reverend. Her happiness is pouring from her in waves, exceeded
only by my own.
To truly love another person is to be willing to accept both their strong points and
their weak points, with equal measures of
understanding and respect.
The ceremony in itself is a traditional one,
and not lengthy at all. We recited after the
reverend where prompted and exchanged
rings. Ive never worn a ring before, but the
gold band that now decorates my finger
doesnt feel out of place or alien at all. It feels
right, like its a part of my skin.

710/723

Seth, do you take Olivia to be your wedded wife, your partner in life, and your one
true love? Do you cherish her friendship and
promise to love her today, tomorrow and
forever? Do you promise to comfort her,
honor her, and keep her in sickness and in
health, remaining faithful to her as long as
you both shall live?
I dont have to think. He just asked me the
easiest question Ive ever heard in my life. I
do.
Olivia, do you take this man to be your
wedded husband? Do you promise to love
him, comfort him, honor and keep him in
sickness and in health, remaining faithful to
him as long as you both shall live?
I do.
Then by the power invested in me, I now
pronounce you husband and wife. You may
kiss the bride.
I reach out and lift the veil from Olivias
face, exposing the single curl of dark hair

711/723

that rests against her chest. I pull her to me

and kiss her with everything that I have. I
pour all of my love, my excitement, and
nervousness into the kiss, and I feel the air
leave her lungs. Everything in my life has led
to this momentthe moment where Id claim
my one true love as my wife in front of all of
our friends and family.
And I wouldnt change a thing.
***
The reception was a wild blur of flashing
cameras, music, dancing and food. My face
muscles hurt more than my entire body does
after a fight, just from smiling.
I could write a five hundred page novel
about tonight. I could write about the vows
we exchanged, the conversation we had, or
the dances we shared in extreme detail, but
to me, those things didnt matter as much to
me as being joined in matrimony forever did.

712/723

I drive away from the reception at Emerald Cliff Restaurant and Marina, and head
toward the resort I booked for us at The Captain Lord Mansion. Im relieved the whole
thing is overbefore we left, our relatives
were all starting to feel the effects of the alcohol and the uncomfortable childhood stories
that were slowly starting to roll out. Chase,
Maddi, Jackson, Selena and Darryl were
huddled around a table, sharing stories and
laughing like theyve always hung outand
my Mom, she was happily sitting with
Olivias mother, neither of them touching the
free booze. Today and tonight was perfect to
say the least, but now were finally alone
again. Ive wanted to be alone with Olivia
since I saw her at Saint Pauls Church and
the only thing I can think about is making
this night memorable for her. I dont know
howI dont know what else I can do for her.
Ive taken her in a shower and tied her to
cages. Ive licked between her thighs while

713/723

she slept and Ive lost my fingers inside her

until she melted around me a million and
one times. What else can I bring to the table?
What else can I do to make tonight
memorable?
We pull up outside the Captain Lord Mansion and Olivia slips from the car with a
yawn.
Leave the bags, I tell her as I exit the car
and she reaches for the back handle. Ill get
them in the morning.
Our fingers lace together as she meets me
around my side of the car. I lead her up the
stairs and through the mansions double
doors. She marvels at the layout and all of
the decorations, but her eyes dont linger on
them. Im way too tired to really care if I was
somewhere nice or somewhere dodgy. She
practically bounces next to me as I escort her
to our room. Inside, I eye the bed, eager to
lie down and rest my eyes.

714/723

Can you run a bath? Olivia smiles. I

think we need to wind down a little before
bed.
Anything for you, wifey. My chest
squeezes at the word and Olivia beams at
me.
I pull my jacket off and undo my waist
coat and tie, throwing it onto the bed, uncaring if they wrinkle. I stroll through the large
bedroom and into the open, elegant bathroom. I barely marvel at the stonework as I
run the bath, hot and bubbly to Olivias liking. At the thought of her name, she strolls in
with a bottle of wine and two glasses in her
hand. She turns and glances at me over her
shoulder. I rise up and clasp her zipper,
drawing it down her spine and over the rise
of her ass.
You want to drink now? I ask, lowering
my mouth to her neck and planting a soft
kiss. Under my lips, light goosebumps erupt

715/723

over her skin. I pull away and she smiles

wickedly at me.
Sure.
You know how I get The last thing I
want to do is fuck her too roughly her on
our wedding night. Isnt it meant to be passionate and loving?
I unhook her bra and toss it away.
Ive heard how you get, but I havent seen
it yet.
Her words stir my dick in my pants and I
watch her plump, red lips as the next two
words fall from her mouth. Show me.
You dont want me to be kind and loving? I ask, curling my fingers around her
white lace underwear and pushing them
down her thighs. When they reach a certain
point, they fall without my assistance and
she steps out of them. Shes fully naked now
and I watchnoI admire her as she puts
one foot after the other into the bath and
lowers herself down. I watch the milky skin

716/723

of her thighs turn a light shade of pink, immersed in the hot water. The water is barely
deep enough to cover her thighs and I love
the vision before me as rogue bubbles cover
one half of her nipple.
Well She smiles, pouring wine into a
glass. You can still love me with a fistful of
my hair.
Holy. Shit. She wants it rough, hard, and
fast. She wants me to completely dominate
her, taking her on every surface in this room.
Baby wants, baby gets.
She places the full glass on the edge of the
bath and looks up at me. Are you going to
join me, or are you going to continue to eyefuck me instead of actually fucking me?
I unhook my belt almost aggressively, not
believing the words that are coming out of
her mouth. I shed my clothes and lower myself into the bath. She hands me a glass of
wine and I slam it back in three big gulps. I
fucking hate wine. I drop the glass over the

717/723

edge and onto the bath mat before I surge

forward, grabbing Olivias legs and yanking
her toward me. I dont need alcohol to give
her what she wants. Olivia pulls from my
grasp and tsks at me.
We have all night to do that. She smiles
devilishly. She flips her body around and
crawls toward me. Theres something I want
to do for you, first.
She runs her tongue over her bottom lips
before leaning right in and kissing my
neckand then my chest. The palm of her
hand flattens against my chest and my heart
beats rapidly into her hand as she pushes me
back a little. I watch her, amazed how my
body does what she tells it to without hesitation and its in this moment I realize, Olivia
isnt mineIm hers.
I quickly moisten my lip and a gasp of air
leaves me as her eyes stay locked on mine
and she lowers her mouth to my cock.

718/723

Her moist lips wrap around the head,

coating it in saliva and a guttural groan tears
from me as my head falls back against the
tiles. Pleasure radiates from my core, pulsing
in consuming waves each time her tongue
flicks over the very tip, and as she takes me
all the way to the back of her throat, I shudder and smile, realizing Im completely, irreversibly and happily lost to my wife.
To be continued... in Forever
Consumed.

Acknowledgements
I just wanted to say a big thank you to my
husband and daughter for always being patient with me and my dream. For two
months they sacrificed special family time in
order for me to complete this for the fans of
Consumed. Speaking of fans, I want to
thank all of my readers for reading and loving Consumed. Originally, Consumed was
going to be a stand alone, but when so many
of you expressed your love for Seth and
Olivia, I had to bring them back a second
time.
Thank you to my publisher, Limitless
Publishing, and their team for being infinitely supportive of me and my writing.
Without them, thered be no Seth and Olivia.
Too Consumed was hands down the hardest book Ive ever written. In Consumed, we
experienced the thrill of Seth and Olivia

720/723

meeting and getting to know each other. Trying to top that in Too Consumed was difficult
and at one point, I had so much doubt about
it that I was willing to give up writing all together but it was because of all the love and
support I received during that time from my
family and my amazing readers that spurred
me on. Thank you.
I hope Too Consumed is worth
every second you waited for it.

About the Author

Skyla Madi was born in the small town of
Port Maquarie, New South Wales in 1993.
She spent half her life growing up in
Wauchope, a thriving rural town at the heart
of the Hastings River Valley before making
the leap to the busy city of Brisbane.
Whenever this young Australian writer
isn't changing diapers, watching cartoons,
cooking for her husband or doing other
motherly-wife things she is actively working
on her writing and improving her writing
skills.
Skyla loves to read just as much as she
loves to write and since discovering that YA/
NA/paranormal romance/urban fantasy/ are
her favourite genres, she has embarked on
her own writing journey and is currently
contracted with Limitless Publishing.

Facebook:
www.facebook.com/SkylaMadi
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https://twitter.com/Skyla_Madi
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Website:
http://skylamadi.com/
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