Class 1(Lec) : Activity Guess the personality

Class 2(Tut) : Revision Importance of softskills + Marooned Island(activity)

A reputed software company in India is all geared up for a client visit.
The clients have indicated that, after inspecting the progress of the project they have outsourced,
they would like to meet the team members working on it.
Why? To select one team member for a stint onsite -- something almost every software
engineer aspires for.
Ravi has been one of the most active members in the project and has done a wonderful job. He is
technically brilliant, but has some concerns:

Will he able to communicate his performance to the client in an impressive manner so

that he is chosen?

Why do his team mates not prefer to come to him for solutions and go to less capable
people instead?

His project manager doesn't seem to be very warm towards him either, although he does
drop in those occasional mails appreciating his work.

Here is a typical scenario in an IT company; or for that matter, any organisation where
interpersonal communication is involved. Or, like in Ravi's case, where an employee suffers
from a lack of interpersonal skills.
Importance of Soft Skills
In today's world, clearing a job interview requires much more than academic qualifications and
an impressive resume. Many a times we come across people who fail to make to the top in spite
of possessing the best of technical knowledge. What do they lack? Soft skills, of course.
Broadly speaking, soft skills are a set of personality traits that help a person to communicate
effectively with others. These include self-awareness, facility with language, sense of
responsibility, team-playing abilities, flexibility, friendliness, and many more. Soft skills
complement hard skills, and in a world where the premium is placed on interactivity and
communication, can be an invaluable asset for an individual.
All those who have attended grooming classes or read articles on personality development must
have recognized the tremendous emphasis placed on individual's outward appearance. This, of
course, is done to create a favourable first impression, which in many cases, also becomes the
last. In an interview, you have a fixed quota of time to impress your interviewer, and it is
necessary for you to come up with your best in such a situation. People who can communicate

effectively, flinch less under pressure, possess good diplomatic skills and sound convincing in
their responses are likely to sail through an interview, even with lesser qualification than some of
their competitors who are devoid of these soft skills.
Are soft skills hard to acquire? Not really. Developing soft skills is an art, and with practice, one
can really improve. One may not find it easy to change the way one thinks, but can definitely
strive to project a better self before the world. An honest introspection can go a long way in
helping you to understand your weaker points. If you have difficulties speaking to others,
practice talking in front of a mirror. A direct look in the eye, a firm handshake accompanied by a
gentle smile can work wonders in making a positive first impression. Dressing appropriately for
an occasion, maintaining personal hygiene are some of the basic steps you can take in order to
improve your soft skills.
Soft skills, of course, mean a lot more than just outward appearance. The ability to remain firm
under pressure, dealing diplomatically in tense situations, making instant decisions, being a
teamplayer, and exhibiting an eagerness to be on a continual learning curve are some of the more
important aspects that employers look for while recruiting a person. With proper soft skills, a
person may be able to convey all these in the short span of an interview. This substantiates its
necessity, and its prime importance to someone who aspires to climb to the top of the success
ladder.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Communicative skills
Thinking skills and problem solving skills
Team work force
Life-long learning and Information management
Entrepreneur skills
Ethics, moral and professionalism
Leadership skills

Grooming
How you are groomed is the first thing anyone looking at you will probably notice. When you
are fresh and well groomed, it creates a positive impression. Research has shown that good
looking people have a 20% advantage over the not so groomed ones.
If you are a genius, perhaps you can get away with anything. If you are not, though, here are
some basic rules to conform to:
1. Daily showers are a necessity.
2. Hair must be shampooed at least once in 2 days and conditioned once a week.
3. A hairstyle to suit your face and personality must be chosen.
4. Eyes, nose and ears need to be cleaned in privacy and not in public.

5. Teeth need brushing and flossing every morning and night, and rinsing after every meal. Make
sure not to eat any pungent food during office hours. If you do, rinse your mouth thoroughly and
eat some mouth freshner.
6. Nails should be clipped and filed short for men and be of medium length for women. It is
understood that medium length nails have to be clean and if painted, the enamel should not be
chipped. Bright and zany nails are great for parties but not for work.
7. Toes and feet too should be taken care of. The feet should be kept clean and crack free. The
toenails should go through a routine of cleaning. Ladies can paint them in mild colours for work
and try and have a pedicure once every fortnight.
Self motivation
If you want to excel in life, self motivation is essential. You must know how to motivate
yourself. You must be able to keep your spirit high no matter how discouraging a situation is.
Thats the only way to get the power you need to overcome difficulties. Those who are
discouraged in difficult times are certain to lose even before the battle is over.
The question is: how do you motivate yourself? Here are several tips Ive found to be effective to
build self motivation:
1. Have a cause
I cant think of a more powerful source of motivation than a cause you care about. Such cause
can inspire you to give your best even in the face of difficulties. It can make you do the
seemingly impossible things.
While other causes could inspire you temporarily, a cause that matters to you can inspire you
indefinitely. Its a spring of motivation that will never dry. Whenever you think that you run out
of motivation, you can always come to your cause to get a fresh dose of motivation.
2. Have a dream. A big dream.
Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I
see, only as much as I dream can I be.
Karen Ravn
Your cause is a powerful source of motivation but its still abstract in nature. You need to make it
concrete in the form of a dream. Imagine how the world will be in the future. Imagine how
people will live and work.

Having a dream is important because its difficult to be motivated if you dont have anything to
shoot for. Just think about people who play basketball. Will they be motivated to play if there is
no basket to aim at? I dont think so. They need a goal. You need a goal. Thats what your dream
is for.
But just having a dream is insufficient. Your dream must be big enough to inspire you. It must be
realistic but challenging. It must stretch your ability beyond your comfort zone.
3. Be hungry
Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely
compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way.
Les Brown
To be truly motivated, you need to have hunger and not just desire. Having mere desire wont
take you through difficult times since you dont want things badly enough. In many cases,
hunger makes the difference between the best performers and the mediocre ones.
How can you have hunger? Your cause and your dream play a big role here. If you have a cause
you care about and a big dream related to it, you should have the hunger inside of you. If you
think that you are losing hunger, all you need to do is to connect again to your cause and dream.
Let them inspire you and bring the hunger back.
4. Run your own race
I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.
Mikhail Baryshnikov
Comparing yourself with others is an effective way to demotivate yourself. Even if you start with
enthusiasm, you will soon lose your energy when you compare yourself with others.
Dont let that happen to you. You have your own race so how other people perform is irrelevant.
Comparing yourself with others is like comparing the performance of a swimmer with a runner
using the same time standard. They are different so how can you compare one with the other?
The only competitor you have is yourself. The only one you need to beat is you. Have you
become the best you can be?
5. Take one more step
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
Winston Churchill

When you meet obstacles along the way, there could be the tendency to quit. You may think that
its too difficult to move on. You may think that your dream is impossible to achieve. But this is
where you can see the difference between winners and losers. Though both of them face the
same difficulties, there is one thing that makes the winners different: the courage to continue.
In difficult situations, just focus on taking one more step forward. Dont think about how to
complete the race. Dont think about how many more obstacles are waiting for you. Just focus on
taking the next step.
6. Let go of the past
Finish each day and
Ralph Waldo Emerson

be

done

with

it.

You

have

done

what

you

could.

Believe it or not, one of the best demotivators is your past. Your past can drag you down before
you realize it. Your past can give you a heavy burden on your shoulders.
The good news is its a burden you dont have to carry. Take it off your shoulder and leave it.
You might make mistakes in the past. You might disappoint others with what you did. But its
over. Its already in the past and theres nothing you can do about it.
Today is a new day and you have the chance to start again. No matter how bad your past might
be, you still have a bright future ahead waiting for you. Just dont let the burden of the past stop
you.
***
Apply these tips and motivate yourself. Dont settle for mediocrity. Let your self motivation take
you to excellence.
Transactional Analysis
It is:
Model of Communication
Theory of Personality
A study of repetitive patterns of behavior
It is primarily concerned with:
1. Analysis of Self Awareness

2. Analysis of Ego States

3. Analysis of Transactions
4. Analysis of life Positions
Interpersonal skills
A relative once confided rather gloomily that he had been to a party which was not very
enjoyable because hardly anyone spoke to him. Lacking the necessary interpersonal skills, he
clammed up like a frightened crab, hugged one section of the room and hoped someone else
would make the first move. No one did and he was the loser. Being frightened of initiating
contact themself, he was, of course, ignored.
Interpersonal skills are essential ingredients of good communication and social finesse, but they
do not come naturally. They are strongly related to the way we were brought up (whether we
were expected to be seen and not heard), our inner feelings about ourselves, our level of
confidence and degree of interest in others. When such skills are missing in the home, group or
office, it can lead to loneliness, frustration, non-cooperation and substandard service. Routine
skills are required on three levels: personal, social and occupational. To have them welldeveloped means you can communicate verbally, physically and in writing with far more
confidence and assurance.
For example, merely knowing how to use a phone is an indispensable personal tool. Often people
dial a number without any idea of what they are going to say or how they should address the
person at the other end. Instead, they become the victim of nervousness, they mumble
incoherently and at length while they waste needless time in their search for information and
their desire to be understood. On the other hand, some receptionists may rudely, or impatiently,
respond to callers in a manner suggesting some surprise that anyone should ring their number to
disturb their peace!
The Need for Social Skills
Good interpersonal skills assume even more importance on a social level. They are the invisible
glue which binds relationships together. Without those skills, we would cause much pain and
anguish for our friends and associates and unhappiness for ourselves. Advance skills reveal
themselves through a readiness to share ideas and resources, to give credit where it is due, to
offer constructive criticism, to enquire into a person's health or circumstance or even being the
first one to say hello.
Shy people find it difficult to do most of these things because their own level of self appreciation
is often so low they cannot project a favourable image of themselves or take any genuine interest
in others. The focus is always on themselves as they seek approval without really having the
courage to get what they want.
Presentation Skills

Today presentation skills are required in every field. Whether you are student or an executive or
the Chairman of a big name organization, you will have to make a presentation at one time or
other. In order to deliver captivating presentations a lot of input and work is needed.

Begin your presentation by telling your audience what your topic is and what you will be
covering. Audiences like to have a guidepost.

Avoid reading your remarks

Dress neatly and appropriately. The rule of thumb is to dress one level nicer than the
audience will be dressed.

Do not wear a hat of any kind

Speak in a clear, audible voice loud enough to be clearly heard in the back row. Never,
ever mumble

Stand up straight, dont slouch or drape yourself around the podium. Dont be afraid to
move around the room moving around is good, it causes the audience to pay attention

Dont rock back and forth on your heels, dont tap a pencil or play with pencil or pointer
,dont do things that will distract from your content.

Never apologize to your audience for the state of your knowledge or your degree of
preparation. The audience wants to have confidence in you, you are the authority, do
nothing to undermine your authority.

Never mention anything that could have been in your talk but wasnt

Make frequent eye contact with the audience. Really look at the audience as you talk to
them. Engaging them directly with your eyes transfers a bit of your energy to them and
keeps them focused on your content. Making eye contact says that you are in charge of
the room and for a presentation thats what you want.

If you use slides or PowerPoint avoid the tendency to speak to the screen instead of to the
audience. Be so familiar with your visual aids that the only reason you look at them is to
point something out.

Never turn your back on the audience and try to avoid walking in front of the projector

Adhere strickly to your time limit. Organize your main points and rate of speech so that
you speak for your eight minutes. You will be surprised how quickly the time goes.

At the conclusion of your presentation ask for questions. Encourage questions with your
eyes and your body language. Respond to questions politely, good-humoredly, and
briefly. Take a quick moment to compose your thoughts before responding if you need
to but do not fill the moment with uh.

At the end of your presentation, summarize your main points and give a strong
concluding remark that reinforces why your information is of value.

Show some enthusiasm