Seaira Baker

Professor: Malcom Campbell

Single Parents: What Are You Doing Wrong?

How many people know someone who was raised by a single parent? A better question to
ask would probably be: how many people do not know someone from a single parent home? If
this question was asked in a room full of any group of people, I doubt there would be many
hands raised, if any. The truth is, that many children are not growing up in what is known as the
traditional family, and it is common for children to be raised by one parent. According to the
United States Census, the number of single parents in America has increased more than 10%
since 1980. I myself grew up with a single mother and many of my friends did as well. As a child
I never questioned being raised that way because I didnt know what it was like to have both
parents for the majority of my childhood. So why does this matter? Is there something wrong
with being raised by only a mother or only a father? Should I and other children in single parent
families feel different? It is not a secret that single-parent, or disrupted, families have grown, and
that it is very possible for them to continue to grow in the future, but the secret, or the debate, is
whether or not the children are negatively affected and if there is something that should be done
to fix, or change this so-called issue.

There are many ways to explore a childs well-being. The variables measured in this
particular topic include, but are not limited to, the parents financial stability, the childs
behavior, the parents stress level, and the childs performance as a student. Research shows a
significant difference between children from disrupted families and children from traditional
families, especially in the childs adolescent years. Sara McLanahan and Gary Sanderfur found,
in their book Growing Up, What Hurts, What Helps and through their experiment on school
performance, that children from single parent homes scored lower on tests, had lower
expectations about college, lower grades, and poorer attendance. They continue to say that these
results indicate that the children from single parent families are not as motivated as other
children (Growing Up 45). The authors of the article Sex of Parent and Children's Well-Being in
Single-Parent Households from the Journal of Marriage and the Family found similar results
also showing lower scores for children with a single parent. However, not only do they argue that
the sex of the single parent does not matter, but they argue that children are not affected by
having one parent. It was a little eye-opening to see the results clearly showing a difference
between both sets of children, yet the authors stating there was no effectaffect. They continue to
explain their case by saying that human behavior is complex and that it is impossible to pinpoint
the difference in results to the fact that the children had single parents (DowneySex of Parent).
Although this argument may have a point scientifically, it is somewhat misleading to completely
disregard years of research especially since many of the findings from related experiments show
similar results. McLanahan and Sanderfur have a better explanation that uses both science and
logic. They say that children from disrupted families are not bound to be delinquents, and they
are not necessarily going to get bad grades and drop out of school, but they are in fact worse off

than children from traditional families. This sets up my argument that children raised by a single
parent are usually worse off than children raised by both parents in one home.
One factor that is obviously an issue for children from disrupted families is financial
stability. Simple math can demonstrate why this is a problem. A household with two incomes is
most likely going to be bringing in more money than a household with only one income. If the
basic math in this situation does not persuade you to believe that a traditional family is better off
financially that a disrupted family maybe 10 years of research will. The poverty rate is the
highest in single parent households at 26.5%. Also, in the same poll it was found that 87% of
traditional families owned a home where only 50% of single parents were home owners
(SanderfurGrowing up). These results clearly show that children from single parent homes are
worse off financially. There are, of course, other factors such as a stay at home mother in a
traditional family who would not have an income, or a single parent who makes more money on
average than most people, and in these cases a child from these homes would not necessarily be
worse of or better off but the child from the disturbed family would be from a more financially
stable family.. Although there are these other factors, a single parent is most likely to be less
financially stable. No matter what the circumstance, combining two incomes will always
increase a familys income and decrease the risk of being in poverty.
Although it is not scientifically acceptable to say that a teen dropped out of high school
because they grew up with a single parent, we can say that a child who grew up relying on
himself or herself themself because their only parent was always at work would be worse off, or
even be more likely to drop out of high school because they did not feel supported. It can also be
said that a child had a lack of motivation in school because he or shethey didnt have a dad to
pick them up off of the ground and tell them to try again after falling off of their new bicycle.

This child may transfer the lack of motivation in a simple childhood situation to something a
little more serious such as failing multiple classes or missing many days of school. A child
lacking support and encouragement may end up feeling hopeless and may not have the ability to
care about something such as school, or other activities. Children from traditional families
however, might perform poorly in school too because of their parents. They could suffer from
hearing their parents argue all day which is not healthy for a child either. All children are
different and therefore they handle situations differently, however, results show that having one
parent does negatively affect a child in some way especially when looking at school performance
and behavior.
Having only one parent means, less opportunity for attention, a lack of input or influence
from one gender, and a higher chance of having a stressed parent. I know from personal
experience that single parents are often more stressed. My mother would come home from a long
day of work and still have to take care of my sister and me all by herself. She had no help, and
she was responsible for feeding us, making sure our homework was done, getting us to bed, and
a countless number of other things all while making us feel special and loved. Now, of course
parents should be expected to do these things, and if anyone were able to do this it would
definitely be my mom, but even she had days where it was impossible not to scream and even
sometimes cry because of how overwhelming it was to take care of two children alone. Now, the
question is how does a parents stress affect the childs well-being? Studies show that parental
stress can hinder a childs social-cognitive development (Guajardo et al. Relationships 38). For
example, a child growing up with a parent dealing with stress may have a harder time making
friends in school later in life. Developing these social skills are critical to a childs future even
into adulthood. There is of course parents that are more stressed out when they are married, and

that child would have the same risk of developmental problems as the child from a single parent
home. Research shows that children from disrupted families are more likely to be in this
situation, not that they will be, and not that other children wont have problems.
Lets answer the big question. Why are these children from disrupted families worse off?
What are the parents doing wrong? Through my research, I believe that the parents are not
necessarily doing anything wrong, but it is what they are not able to do that is causing their
children to become worse off. These children are missing out on necessary financial, mental, and
social stability and are also lacking in drive. They do not have two parents helping each other,
but they have one parent screaming at the burnt dinner in the oven while trying to help them
study for a spelling test when all the parent really wants to be doing is relaxing after a long day at
work. If the parent is lacking a support system, the child will also lack support. This lack of
support can feel like neglect and can cause the children to carry negative feelings and behavior
with them as they grow up. Being a single parent does not mean that you will be stressed and
miserable, but it does increase the chances of a stressful situation occurring. Single parents are
more likely to be financially unstable, stressed, and distracted from their childrens needs. This
can cause a child to become at risk of growing up in poverty, undeveloped socially, and to feel
neglected. If the population of disrupted families is increasing, than so is the number of children
who might be affected by one or more of these issues. Although an obvious solution to this
problem might be to make sure all children have two parents, it is very unlikely for this to
happen. It was also discussed that a child with both biological parents had a more positive
outcome than children with a step-parent, or neither biological parent (Growing up). So what
should be done to fix this growing problem? The government could be required to compensate
financially in the place of a second parent, but many people in this country would not agree that

this is a fair solution. There could be a mentoring program developed to help children in
disrupted families feel more secure about situations at home, school, and even their future. Also
the argument of traditional family problems plays a part into the results. There are many different
things that could help children from single parent families, and I think that more research should
be done to determine exactly what would help disrupted families the best and most importantly,
help the children succeed.

Works CitedCitations

Downey, Douglas B, James W. Ainsworth-Darnell, and Mikaela J. Dufur. "Sex of Parent and
Children's Well-Being in Single-Parent Households." Journal of Marriage and the Family. 60.4
(1998): 878-93. Nov. 1998
Gringlas, Marcy, and Marsha Weinraub. "The More Things Change . . . Single Parenting
Revisited." Journal of Family Issues. 16.1 (1995): 29-52. Jan 1995.
Guajardo, Nicole R, Gregory Snyder, and Rachel Petersen. "Relationships Among Parenting
Practices, Parental Stress, Child Behaviour, and Children's Social-Cognitive
Development." Infant and Child Development. 18.1 (2009): 37-60. Print.
Sanderfur, Gary and Sara McLanahan. Growing up with a Single Parent What hurts, What
Helps Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1994. Print