Sample Essay #1 - Accepted by Harvard: Admissions Committee Comments

Sample Essay #1 Accepted by Harvard
Of all the characters that Ive met through books and movies, two stand out as people
that I most want to emulate. They are Attacus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird and Dr.
Archibald Moonlight Graham from Field of Dreams. They appeal to me because they
embody what I strive to be. They are influential people in small towns who have a direct
positive effect on those around them. I, too, plan to live in a small town after graduating
from college, and that positive effect is something I must give in order to be satisfied with
my life.
Both Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham are strong supporting characters in wonderful stories.
They symbolize good, honesty, and wisdom. When the story of my town is written I want
to symbolize those things. The base has been formed for me to live a productive, helpful
life. As an Eagle Scout, I represent those things that Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham represent.
In the child/adolescent world I am Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham, but soon I ll be entering
the adult world, a world in which I m not yet prepared to lead.
I m quite sure that as teenagers Attacus Finch and Moonlight Graham often wondered
what they could do to help others. They probably emulated someone who they had seen
live a successful life. They saw someone like my grandfather, 40-year president of our
hometown bank, enjoy a lifetime of leading, sharing, and giving. I have seen him spend
his Christmas Eves taking gifts of food and joy to indigent families. Often when his bank
could not justify a loan to someone in need, my grandfather made the loan from his own
pocket. He is a real-life Moonlight Graham, a man who has shown me that characters like
Dr. Graham and Mr. Finch do much much more than elicit tears and smiles from readers
and movie watchers. Through him and others in my family I feel I have acquired the
values and the burning desire to benefit others that will form the foundation for a great
life. I also feel that that foundation is not enough. I do not yet have the sophistication,
knowledge, and wisdom necessary to succeed as I want to in the adult world. I feel that
Harvard, above all others, can guide me toward the life of greatness that will make me the
Attacus Finch of my town.
ADMISSIONS COMMITTEE COMMENTS:
This essay is a great example of how to answer this question well. This applicant
chose characters who demonstrated specific traits that reflect on his own
personality. We believe that he is sincere about his choices because his reasons are
personal (being from a small town, and so forth). He managed to tell us a good deal
about himself, his values, and his goals while maintaining a strong focus throughout.
Sample Essay #2 Accepted by Wellesley

It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinary influence my mother has been
on my life. She s the kind of person who has thoughtful discussions about which artist
she would most want to have her portrait painted by (Sargent), the kind of mother who
always has time for her four children, and the kind of community leader who has a seat
on the board of every major project to assist Washington s impoverished citizens.
Growing up with such a strong role model, I developed many of her enthusiasms. I not
only came to love the excitement of learning simply for the sake of knowing something
new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the community in exchange
for a new sense of life, love, and spirit.
My mother s enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel. I was nine years old
when my family visited Greece. Every night for three weeks before the trip, my older
brother Peter and I sat with my mother on her bed reading Greek myths and taking notes
on the Greek Gods. Despite the fact that we were traveling with fourteen-month-old
twins, we managed to be at each ruin when the site opened at sunrise. I vividly remember
standing in an empty ampitheatre pretending to be an ancient tragedian, picking out my
favorite sculpture in the Acropolis museum, and inserting our family into modified tales
of the battle at Troy. Eight years and half a dozen passport stamps later I have come to
value what I have learned on these journeys about global history, politics and culture, as
well as my family and myself.
While I treasure the various worlds my mother has opened to me abroad, my life has been
equally transformed by what she has shown me just two miles from my house. As a ten
year old, I often accompanied my mother to (name deleted), a local soup kitchen and
children s center. While she attended meetings, I helped with the Summer Program by
chasing children around the building and performing magic tricks. Having finally
perfected the floating paintbrush trick, I began work as a full time volunteer with the
five and six year old children last June. It is here that I met Jane Doe, an exceptionally
strong girl with a vigor that is contagious. At the end of the summer, I decided to continue
my work at (name deleted) as Jane s tutor. Although the position is often difficult, the
personal rewards are beyond articulation. In the seven years since I first walked through
the doors of (name deleted), I have learned not only the idea of giving to others, but also
of deriving from them a sense of spirit.
Everything that my mother has ever done has been overshadowed by the thought behind
it. While the raw experiences I have had at home and abroad have been spectacular, I
have learned to truly value them by watching my mother. She has enriched my life with
her passion for learning, and changed it with her devotion to humanity. In her endless
love of everything and everyone she is touched by, I have seen a hope and life that is
truly exceptional. Next year, I will find a new home miles away. However, my mother
will always be by my side.
am
Sample Essay #3 Accepted by Cornell

Question: Tell us about an opinion have you had to defend. How has this affected
your belief system?
I chuckle to myself every time I think about this. I am perceived as a mild-mannered,
intelligent individual until I mention that I am involved in riflery. It is interesting to watch
someone's expression change. It is as if I instantaneously grew a pair of horns and a sharp
set of claws. Believe me this gets worst; I am a member of the NRA. I try to tell these
folks that I belong to the NRA to fire my rifle. "Oh my God! You fire real guns? with real
bullets?!?" they remark with a perplexed look on their face. Besides having horns and
claws, I now possess a tail and leathery wings.
This is how it began five years ago. I had played on a soccer team for several years. As I
grew older I began having difficulty playing soccer because of shortness of breath. I was
diagnosed as having mild asthma which ended my soccer career and eliminated my
participation in most physical sports.
Shortly afterward, during a Boy Scout summer camp, I participated in riflery at their
shooting range. This was the first time I had ever touched a firearm. To my amazement, I
won the camp's first place award for marksmanship. I was more than eager when a friend
of mine asked me if I would like to join a shooting club.
My parents were wary when I asked to join the rifle club. My mother feared guns, but my
father felt there was no problem with trying this sport. Gratefully, he gave me the
opportunity to try rifle marksmanship, despite secretly hoping that I would quit. Both of
my parents were afraid of what people would think about their son's involvement with
guns.
Like my parents a majority of people believe that all firearms are dangerous to our
society. All they remember are the hysterical news releases of street violence and injured
children. I am often asked how many deer I've shot. Frankly, I could never bring myself
to injure another living creature and neither would most of the competitors I have met.
Yet, I keep finding myself defending the sport from all of the misconceptions that
surround it. Most people have developed a negative impression of the sport and I have
found that these prejudices are difficult, if not impossible, to rectify.
Because of this conflict, I have become an open minded individual. I express my opinions
without reservation, and I have learned to accept opinions and viewpoints contrary to my
own. I do not intend to alter what I enjoy because of the ignorance of friends and
acquaintances. If people have a negative view of me simply because of the sport I am
active in, then they must be so superficial that they cannot see the person who I really am.
I am no longer apprehensive of being perceived as a gun toting, trigger happy fanatic,
even though I still endeavor to educate my friends and relatives on the beauty of this
sport.

Sample Essay #1 - Accepted by Harvard: Admissions Committee Comments

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Sample Essay #1 - Accepted by Harvard: Admissions Committee Comments

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Sample Essay #1 - Accepted by Harvard: Admissions Committee Comments

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Sample Essay #1 Accepted by Harvard

Sample Essay #2 Accepted by Wellesley

Sample Essay #3 Accepted by Cornell

You might also like