Where Two or More Are Gathered
Where Two or More Are Gathered
Where Two or More Are Gathered
own heart, within my own being, and I instantaneously realized she always Was with
me and always Will be. This redefining of my Mother from an outside entity that
could be here or not, to a very real experiential Internal Presence, is Healing in the
Highest Sense.
A couple of years later, as I was better able to see myself in relation to others, I grieved
greatly for not having and knowing my Father. It was not often I swam the seas of
tears and emotions that come with the feelings of lacking the presence of the Father, if
not too much more than a handful of times in my entire early lifetime. The very first
experience with this suffering brought not only intense crying, but an immediate
recognition of all of the beautiful men and women in my life who had Fathered me in
various ways in a manner that expressed the best of what a Father could be. I then felt
as if the whole universe was my Father, and that the specific player of the role may
continuously change, but my Father remained. This, too, I knew to be inside of my
own being. Before the age of 6, I understood that these intense moments of suffering
were very real catalysts for realizations and redefinitions that I can cherish and benefit
from eternally. Naturally, my relationship and definition of suffering has been one of
up-most Appreciation and Respect. Rest assured, I would still have an interesting
challenge learning to pay attention to All-That-Is as an Abundant Blessing and
Unconditionally telling stories that reflect what I really believe to be Truth.
At age 19, I began to heal from an accident where my best friend and I where hit by a
drunk driver, resulting in the death of Aaron and the new birth inside Myself. This
new Birth started as what seemed like an undertow but instead of waves and sand, it
was a car at 65 miles per hour, and rocks, glass and cement that rearranged and
interpenetrated my being. I come to a restful stop sitting up in a fetal position where
the road meets the ditch on River Road somewhere between Downtown Baton Rouge
and the LSU campus. I glance to see Aaron has flown further and is laying on his side,
clearly not breathing in a pool of blood. I immediately knew I needed to stand up, but
it felt like my back was broken. I stood up with an accompaniment of screams that
resided somewhere between war cries that help push one forward and the gnashing of
teeth and wailing from the valley below. This culminated in experiencing a blackness
seeping in and overcoming my consciousness until all that was left was what seemed
like a molecule, an atom of red which then brightens my awareness to visually make
out my reality in shades of red. This would be my experience of putting on the Rose
colored glasses of my college daze. As I stand there waving my arms, two cars pass
from each direction without hesitation, leaving me to wonder if I was even there... At
that moment, two vehicles stop to help. The first was a wrecker service that I
immediately direct to help Aaron as I sit back down in my fetal position and rock
gently back and forth. The other vehicle was a nursing student, who I immediately
direct to my camel pak that I must have gracefully taken off in mid-flight. I let her
know that the phone ringing in it is my fianc and to please explain to her what has
just happened. The ambulances arrived faster than normal because there had been a
rodeo downtown. This contributed to my not bleeding to death. As I am loaded up, I
hear the paramedics saying that they have one of us dead on site and expecting me to
be dead on arrival. Keep in mind, instead of the word dead he used number codes, but
I clearly got the gist. My immediate reaction to riding with this pain was to be with it.
Really feel it, all the while giving thanks to those to have suffered and sacrificed for
the betterment of others, having as a strong focus the story of Christ and those in my
life who had put aside immediate gratification so that my life could be better... When I
arrive at the hospital, as my clothes are being cut off I ask the nurse if Id make it,
thinking that if I was conscious and well enough to have calm discourse Id clearly be
fine. He tells me in a most sincere and concerned manner that he had seen worse make
it. They could not administer anything to alleviate pain until they were sure of all of
the internal damage. This resulted in 2 to 3 hours of just being with it all, panting like
a dying dog on the side of a slow country road. During this time I had to move around
in order to take x-rays and scans all cut up from head to toe with a fractured pelvis.
This was made easier with the support of the nurses. At one point, they told me that a
doctor was coming in to put his hand inside of my gaping wound to feel around and
see if my internal organs are ruptured. Remember, Im feeling EVERYTHING. He
comes in and tells me to turn on my side so he can gain access to my insides. I say ok
just give me a second. And I mean, not one-Mississippi had gone by, this doctor lets
out a tiff like Im just ruining his day and didn't just get hit by a car... I immediately
respond with one of those war wailing cries as I turn over, and thankfully, no internal
ruptures or bleeding. My fianc arrived two hours after receiving the call from three
hours away. Before she comes in the room, some of her friends who were already there
made it a point to ask the nurses if they could wipe up some of the blood before she
came into the room. They started wiping the floor, walls, and machines that had been
blessed with my life blood. During the process, I remained light. I remember a nurse
trying to find, unsuccessfully, a place to inject a local anesthetic in order to put a stitch
in my eyelid. I began to laugh and said, Considering what Id been through, I can
handle it. We'll call it my Superman stitch. About a month later, I started to become
angry at the person who hit us. I channeled this into a work out regime which at the
time was optimal and even healthy, but would not remain so. After being mad and
bulking up, I began to channel my anger in visions of revenge. I went so far as to
finding the address of the man involved in the hit-and-run. It then got to a point to
where I was seeing myself kicking open his door with a sawed-off shotgun wanting to
impose my will and cast my judgment in ways that I can leave to your own poetic
imaginings. This immediately stimulated me to stop and consider how I really felt,
and feel, about this person... A wave of Unconditional Love came to the surface from
the depths of my own being, revealing my love not only for this person, but for any
and all people... After this, I understood that being honest and experiencing Hate is a
Catalyst for a deeper, more profound Love. An intense redefinition occurred. Hate is
not bad, nor does it oppose love; it can be used to stimulate a spectrum of action, but
more than anything else, it is always a Catalyst for the realization and experience of a
deeper Personal Expanded Love. I then began to redefine any challenging experience
as a Catalyst for more Love.
Around three years later, I got a call early in the morning from my family back home
letting me know that my mother in a hit-and-run accident, was on life support and not
expected to last much longer. I hauled ass from Baton Rouge to Lake Charles. My
mother held on until I got there, allowing me to talk and sing to her for a few hours
before she died. At this point, I was learning to define everything as an Abundant
Blessing and then process the particulars. I chose the perspective that my mom had
been released from what was on one hand a life long struggle with multiple
personality disorder and co-occurring addictions and on the other, a woman who
changed peoples' lives for the better. Two-hundred and seventy people showed up to
her funeral and almost all of them made it a point to tell me, Madeline is the reason
Im clean today. Mimi is the reason I passed this class, or even went to school. All
this from what society may consider nobodies on up to doctors. I felt that if Id helped
one person in the way she helped plenty, Id be more than happy to die. Now, I could
have been devastated over the fact that I was just now starting to open up and
empathize with my mother after having been away from her on a permanent basis
since age seven, or beat myself up cause I'd wasted time being cold and callous toward
her in my late teens. I would dive deeply into these feelings and ones far more intense,
and really enjoyed the experience of loss and grief. Because I chose to focus on the
blessings of the situation and honestly dived into the full spectrum of emotions while
continually expressing my appreciation for it all as well, I was able to see the tangible
benefit of the situation, even in the midst of the storm. Just as wonderful, the minute
thoughts and realizations of potential negativity, although sometimes accompanied
with intense emotion, began to continuously become more and more resolved. As my
main focus was on the Growth and Healing, the tiny waves of negativity began to
bring with it more and more tangible resolve with each recurrence. The negativity had
no fertile ground to expand, so as it kept popping up, the only thing that could
expand from it was tangible resolve and integration into All-That-Is being an
Abundant Blessing. All I did, do, or can do to create Growth and to allow the Healing
is to Define EVERYTHING as an ABUNDANT BLESSING, Pay close attention to
everything being as such, and express sincere tangible appreciation for All-That-Is
in any Given Moment.
I had been having a bit of a hard time before I started to practice reverence for
cannabis. I had recently watched my best friend die from a hit-and-run accident that
almost killed both of us while we were riding our bikes just outside LSU campus. On
top of that I was working 20 to 30 hours a week while taking a full time schedule at
Louisianan State University, which I promise ain't no joke. On top of all this I was
extremely ornery with God and the world at large. Needless to say I needed some
relief. I then encountered the medical reality behind cannabis and that many people
throughout history have used it as an entheogen in order to strengthen their
relationship to God. See in high school I was still riding high on the childhood
imagination that my mother helped me cultivate so well. Didn't hardly drink or
smoke, especially compared to my peers at Sulphur High, nor did I trip at all when I
was younger. I was too busy laughing at the world, making good grades without
doing homework and becoming a 1st team all-district defensive end.
On top of all this I was not at all ready for the coldness of 'secular' social life in the
academic and business worlds. I come from a Cajun, Kryol, Coonass background
born and raised in Brownsville Lake Charles, Louisiana till I was 7. We were not only
taught to care for all people, to us it was the normal thing to do, because the example
was set in the way of life around us. Back then, before the hood was glamorized
notoriously, it was a place where people supported one another with a cup of sugar,
mutual respect and care.
When people gather under the banner to seek relief and share space with respect and
care, a brilliant synchronistic psychoneuroimmunological reaction occurs in the bodies
of those open to love in this micro-moment of biological positivity. Sharing joyous
space with other people is the strongest medicine known to man, the driving force
behind the placebo effect, and healing and enhancement in general. The Cannabis
culture was my first encounter with another modern culture similar to my own. The
cannabis plant was my first encounter with God in (outside) matter, an entheogenic
experience that has helped me seed God in all things.
The practice of our roots will lead us to find similar people out in the world and
expand upon the ways in which you practice praising and glorifying Creation. One
other culture I became familiar with was the Way of Infinite Harmony, a Taoist
spiritual practice that sees Cannabis as holding the Spirit of Princess Ma Gu. These are
the same characteristics I see in my wife. Cannabis helped my wife and I greatly
during our first pregnancy. We where praised by all who helped and were involved in
our pregnancy as being magnificent in the ways in which Laura cared for her body
and mind. Keep in mind we spent literally all of our waking time together, had money
saved and cheep rent. This coupled with a daily practice of reverence helps us have
wonderful births, healthy children and have a perfect life. Keep in mind this includes
the integration of all ranges of all kinds of intensities. For our second birth, we had
integrated another similar culture into our practice. This time it was Tai Chi Chih, a
non-martial set of 19 movements and one pose, and literally means knowledge of the
supreme ultimate. Our second birth was an all-natural, no pain, amazing gift from
God for our good Work. We showed up at the hospital at three in the afternoon, had
him in our arms at 6PM.
My wife and I then came across another culture similar to our own, that not only
gathered under the banner of mutual respect and care and used cannabis as a spiritual
supplement that we call Santa Maria, but also used one of the strongest entheogens
known to man, Ayahuasca. In Brazil where it comes from, it is usually practiced as a
living faith community almost identical to the way Cajuns had lived since they
established one of the very first settlements in North America, other than our native
bothers and sisters. They did it as a faith community with no false governmental
authority, carrying mutual respect and care for all people, especially women and
children. Santo Daime and Cajun also share the worship of the Divine Feminine, our
Divine Holy Mother, who cares and loves for all things.
The spiritual Works held by the Santo Daime are not to be taken lightly and should be
seen as a great joy if you ever get the pleasure to interact with this most holy doctrine
of shared internal exploration. My wife and I spent almost a year and a half with the
local church. We started saying Hail Marys before we consecrated Santa Maria. And
more importantly, we took paying attention to our lives as meaningful, all important
and completely up to us in which direction it can go. Our relationship with each other
was healed and strengthened during and forever after our time with Daime.
In looking back on my experience with Santo Daime, I must focus on the results and
the developing Philosophie. I now have a clearer understanding of my inner world
and a greater degree of direction over my unique way of processing. Our expression
and experience of life is a direct result of our awareness of the internal processes that
are specific to us and our ability to work with and metabolize what we find inside
ourselves. The sacrament of the Daime Work provides an individual with the sacred
space, place and intention to open all doors up for integration and betterment. The
sacrament of Cajun Communion provides an individual with the sacred space, place
and intention to open all interpersonal interactions up for integration and betterment.
Combining these two has been to the Up Most benefit. In traveling through passages
within one's Self, it becomes clear that a focus on there being a Greater Good is a
necessity in keeping the very fabric of your personal consciousness intact. Your very
ability to experience relies on your capacity to identify this Greater Good within you.
God goes from being a notion to your Gumption. The understanding resulting from
my wife and I's experience with Mestre Irineu is ineffable and tangible. In His own
words passed down, Within an individual lies a set of Superior and inferior
Attractions. This knowledge put into practice brings about the Perfection of one's
Personality. The validity of this realization, as brought to light the preceding short
stories, is that our every day personal interactions are launch pads for Divinity
measured undeniably in optimal physiological and psychological functioning and
have a Neurogenic Epigenetic Epiphenomenonal Influence on the Societal Organism's
Optimal Functioning. From one's place, one can heal the world. From one's place, one
can experience the Mysteries and full Force of Creation's Firmament. This practiced on
a day-to-day basis is in Line with Mestre and the king of Science. The result of any
good Divine Experiment, spiritual Work, and Present Day should be, at the very least
can be, a permanent increase in Internal recognition of one's Place. From this we can
choose to generate Superior Attraction with all that one encounters, taking it in the
direction of a Greater Good by reaching for better and better thoughts about our
current moment experience, no matter how intense, while attributing all Force to an
even Higher Power and a Greater Good. It becomes evident that salvation rests in the
individual's ability to relate and express the Superior Set of Attractions within. This is
Set in Stone in the Firmament. It is not, however, static or a destination. This is Eternal
Life, Infinity moving forward in All Directions. A beautiful man of the Doctrine shared
with me his way of understanding this, saying, The Challenge is always greater, but
it's never as bad as it was. For me, the Challenge is mustering up ways of expressing
Unconditional Love and Appreciation through all terrains of Energetic and Emotional
Beingness. Having Experienced and Now Knowing the Force within and the Eternal
Movement Forward, it can Never be as bad as it was when my day-to-day behavior
was less in line with my insides. While under the Guidance and Protection of the
strongest Entheogen know to man, Imagine every cell of your body being surrounded
by all of the nastiest personalities that ever existed, turning everything you've ever
done into gross and gruesome beyond any possible imagining or experience. The
awareness is clear that Any attachment to Any thing other than a focus that all is well
and God is Good, could send one's very Being into the Mouth of Marachimbe. To not