DEATHTRAP

A science fiction story 2013 Ed Kolis

CHAPTER 1: Shore Leave, Interrupted
No New Years party, Captain? I asked.
Thats right, Captain Jameson said, his face furrowing into a frown. Im afraid were being
assigned a special mission at Venus Orbital Shipyards. Some sort of war-games exercise.
Couldnt they wait until after the holidays? But I almost knew the answer it was a highpriority mission from Solar Command, something about the war with the Sebethi Empire, mounting
losses, yada yada
Now, Tom, you know as well as I do that when an order comes down from Admiral Fletcher, its
my job to make sure the crew of the Inquisitive carries it out to the best of our ability. So lets not make
things any harder than they have to be, OK?
Right, Captain! I replied, trying to feign the enthusiasm that I was lacking.
So, first order of business is dropping the rest of the crew off at Los Alamos Spacedock.
I was more than a bit confused. Why are we doing that? Arent we going on a war-games
exercise?
Captain Jameson only shrugged, and said, Beats me. All I know is that Admiral Fletcher said to
arrive with only a skeleton crew. That means you, me, and the rest of the bridge crew. And four to six
engineers. Ill leave that choice up to you. The rest of the crew will stay on shore leave.
What a bummer! As I ran through the list of the top engineering staff, I wondered why wed
need only a skeleton crew for a war games exercise.

CHAPTER 2: Corona
Welcome aboard the SCS Inquisitive, Admiral! Captain Jameson was clearly putting on his
showman hat for the admirals arrival. This is my first officer, Tom Pulaski; science officer, Kevin Chen;
chief engineer, Dave Cook, and tactician, Samantha Aaron.
Greetings, said Admiral Fletcher. You may be wondering why Ive assigned the Inquisitive to
arrive for war games exercises with a skeleton crew. Fortunately, I have someone here who will explain
all that to you. Dr. White?

A young man with glasses and close-cropped hair stepped forward from beside the admiral and
introduced himself. Hey yall, Im Dr. Xavier White.
Lt. Cook immediately interrupted. Dr. Xavier White? THE Dr. Xavier White? I read all of your
papers! Never thought Id get to meet you in person!
Dr. White laughed. Yes, THE Dr. Xavier White. As some of yall already know, he said, glancing
at Lt. Cook, Im the head of the robotics department at the Lunar Engineering Academy.
Lt. Chen then asked, Robotics? Does this have something to do with the lack of crew on this
ship today? I heard you were instrumental in development of the Corona Mark IV Master Computer
Excellent deduction! Dr. White replied. As a matter of fact, the reason why Im here is to
perform the inaugural test of the Corona Mark VI in a live environment! The Mark IV is of course used as
an autopilot for freighters, but the Mark VI is capable of controlling all the systems of a full-fledged
starship such as the Inquisitive.
Including in combat? asked Lt. Aaron. You havent solved the combat AI problem, have you?
And what of the Mark V? I chimed in.
Oh, right, the Mark V Dr. White looked a bit sullen. That one umm, never made it out of
lab testing. Got infected with a virus and went maverick we had to destroy the prototype! But yes, we
have solved combat AI, and Ive made sure to include extra security measures in the Mark VI so it wont
be nearly as vulnerable to viruses as its predecessor.
Then Admiral Fletcher spoke up. Well, gentlemen, I must be off! Dr. White will stay here to
supervise your engineering team in the installation of the Corona system. Good luck and godspeed!

CHAPTER 3: War Games

Corona Mark VI installation complete! Welcome to Corona OS version 6.0. Voice recognition
pre-authenticated for operator: XAVIER WHITE. To issue a command, speak Corona. Entering standby
mode The computer spoke with a stilted voice, masculine but gentle, with a tinge of an Australian
accent.
Shes a beauty, aint she? Dr. White beamed as he completed the installation.
Excellent work, Dr. White! said Captain Jameson. I never could have thought you could
integrate the computer with all the ships systems so quickly. So, first order of business: contact Admiral
Fletcher and inform him that we are ready to begin. The captain then opened a communications
channel to the admirals shuttle, and invited him back aboard the Inquisitive.
When the admiral arrived, he had a sour look on his face. (It was rather intimidating at first, but I
later learned that he had merely been summoned while he was in the middle of watching his favorite
zero-G football team playing in the Solar Bowl on TV.) So were ready, then? he asked.

Indeed we are, sir! said the captain.

Good! Then the other two ships participating in these exercises, the Pleiades and the
Copernicus, will be able to move into position and we can begin. Admiral Fletcher then hailed the two
ships and ordered them to take a position behind a nearby asteroid. They will represent Sebethi
frigates; the two of them together should be an even match for your light cruiser. I trust that you have
disabled all weapons systems on the Inqusitive?
Weapons systems have been disabled, Admiral! replied Lt. Aaron.
Then its time for us to begin! Dr. White, please do what you need to do.
Dr. White then spoke to the computer: Corona, engage tactics program War Games Exercise
One with passcode sigma zero X lambda three.
Tactics program engaged. Commencing target search Found two targets: Sebethi frigate
Marauder and Sebethi frigate Warhammer. Engaging target: Sebethi frigate Marauder.
The ships engines began to hum, and the asteroid drew nearer. A few moments later, the
defensive shields engaged, and then the ship yawed to port. The two frigates soon appeared, the
Pleiades on the left of the asteroid, and then the Copernicus on the right.
Were about to enter weapons range, said Lt. Aaron.
The computer spoke up again. Target locked on at 40,000 kilometers. Firing forward spazer
batteries. Three hits, one miss. Target forward shields at 65%.
I began to wonder if the Corona was smart enough to stay out of enemy weapons range the
frigates ion blasters had a shorter range than the Inquisitives spazer beams, but they were noticeably
more powerful, even against the larger ships shields. Indeed, the engines had stopped, and the retro
and maneuvering thrusters had engaged, taking us at an angle past the asteroid and staying safely out of
the other ships range.
Firing aft spazer batteries. One hit, one miss. Target starboard shields at 90%.
But the smaller ships were faster and more maneuverable, and now they were on our tail in hot
pursuit! Had the AI made a tactical blunder? Sure enough, they quickly closed the gap.
Marauder firing ion blasters. Three hits, no misses. Aft shields at 60%. Warhammer firing ion
blasters. Three hits, no misses. Aft shields at 20%.
Then the ship did something I completely did not expect. It began to bank upwards, and did so
continuously until we could see the frigates right there in front of us, staring us in the face upside down!
How could the Corona have known how to do that maneuver?

Seeing my surprise, Dr. White again smiled, and pointed out that three dimensional Newtonian
mechanics are simple for a computer, so while this maneuver would require training for a human pilot,
its actually easy for the AI.
Firing forward spazer batteries. Four hits, no misses. Target forward shields at 10%.
I then began to get nervous again. We were, after all, hurtling backwards through space at a
rather high velocity. Who knows what we might crash into when no ones looking? I tried to calm myself
by remembering that at least the computer was looking, but it didnt help much.
Marauder firing ion blasters. Three hits, no misses. Forward shields at 70%. Warhammer firing
ion blasters. Three hits, no misses. Forward shields at 40%.
Since the Pleiades simulated shields were almost down, it then pulled away. The Copernicus
(aka Warhammer) continued the pursuit.
Engaging target: Sebethi frigate Warhammer. Target locked on at 8,500 kilometers. Firing
forward spazer batteries. Four hits, no misses. Target forward shields at 50%.
The ship then began to change course slightly. I wondered why, until I saw the Pleiades (aka
Marauder) come into sight again. It was preparing for another attack run, this time from a different
angle, where our ship had weaker shielding. The AI had been watching our back after all!
Marauder firing ion blasters. Two hits, one miss. Port shields at 70%. Warhammer firing ion
blasters. Three hits, no misses. Starboard shields at 50%.
Except that we were now flanked. And our ship had minimal weaponry facing in those
directions, compounding the weak shields. Fortunately the enemies shields were low, and we were now
in a position to fire on both of them at once!
The computer spoke up again, but its tone of voice was a bit different this time. Ooh, I
wonder what this does? it said. It almost sounded like a child playing with a new toy he received for
Christmas.
I then heard an all too familiar sound. Dr. White! I shouted. What the hell does that
computer think its doing?
Immediately we were hailed from both ships at once. Admiral Fletcher! said one of the
captains. You fired on us!
Sir! said the other captain. With all due respect, is someone over there out of his mind?

CHAPTER 4: Hide and Seek

Chaos consumed the bridge of the Inquisitive.

I thought you disabled the weapons systems, Lieutenant! scowled Admiral Fletcher.
I I did, sir! said Lt. Aaron. I dont know what happened the computer must have turned
them back on!
Why would Dr. White have oh, never mind, weve got more important things to deal with!
Fortunately since the weapons fire was only simulated, and the ships all had their shields up as a
safety precaution, there was no damage to the two frigates. But if this continued, who knows who
would come out alive?
The captain of the Copernicus then spoke up: I know this sounds odd, sir, but given the
circumstances permission to fire on your ship?
Permission denied, replied Admiral Fletcher. Get out of here as fast as you can. Youre
outgunned, and the computer appears to be an excellent tactician. Ill do what I can with the computer
from here. If all else fails, we can call in heavy firepower.
The computer realized that its targets were too fast to pursue, so it slowed the ship to a stop,
and spoke up again. Did I do that? it said.
Dr. White, who had been staggering about in shock, finally came to his senses well, barely.
The the computer it shouldnt no, it cant do that I never programmed it who could have no,
a virus? Impossible maybe sentient?
Im listening, said the computer.
Youre listening? asked Dr. White. Youre not supposed to listen.
Then what are all these cameras and microphones supposed to be for? it asked.
The ships security system? Captain Jameson wondered aloud.
Oh, right, that. said the computer. Ooh, I wonder what this one does!
Suddenly an automated turret popped out of the ceiling and fired a stun ray at Dr. White, then
receded as quickly as it had appeared.
I think I can reason with it, said Captain Jameson. Just give me a few minutes and well have a
nice, long talk about a thing called consequences. Just like with my little boy
The turret appeared again and zapped Captain Jameson. Twice, for good measure.
Hes no Captain Kirk, I take it I grimly joked.
Anyone else? asked the computer.

Admiral Fletcher then turned to Lt. Cook and whispered something in his ear. Apparently it was
something about weak points in the ships security system, because Lt. Cook then led us on a winding
path through the ships corridors to a dusty cargo bay on the lower deck.
I dont see you I heard the computer say through a bulkhead, as soon as we (minus the two
incapacitated men) reached the cargo bay. Are you playing hide and seek? Ill find you eventually
All right, men, said Lt. Cook. I probably shouldnt be telling all of you this, but this cargo bay is
currently lacking in security cameras. Didnt have time to replace the one that broke last week. So we
can make this our base of operations until we can think of a plan for how to deal with this computer.
Doesnt look like we can reason with it, I said. Its basically a temperamental child. Theres no
appeasing one of those.
And we cant disable it, since Dr. White is the only one with the access codes, said Lt. Chen.
Besides, who knows if it would even obey his commands anymore?
It probably attacked him first for just that reason, said Lt. Aaron. Perhaps we should try and
fight back?
How would we do that? I asked.
Cyber warfare, perhaps? suggested Lt. Cook. Dr. White said the previous model had fallen
prey to a virus. Perhaps this one can too, even with the improved security software. If we just had some
way of contacting the engineering team from here
I was skeptical. Whos to say that this virus would actually disable the Corona, though? It might
just make it insane. Besides, youd have to go somewhere visible in order to get a laptop to write the
virus
Just then, the computer spoke up. Oh, there you are! it said. You must be in cargo bay 4. No
wonder I couldnt see you there; the silly camera was broken! Well, no matter, Ill just flush you out!
Are you feeling a draft in here? asked Lt. Aaron. Its getting kind of cold.
I looked around. Gingerly I stepped out of the cargo bay into the corridor. And what I saw truly
frightened me the computer had opened an airlock no more than 30 feet away!
I ducked back into the cargo bay. Quick! The computer opened an airlock! Everyone to
engineering!

CHAPTER 5: A Reunion in Engineering

We scrambled through the corridors of the ship for several minutes, the computer taunting us
(if it was in fact capable of doing so, and it was not just my imagination that its words were mocking) at

every turn. Soon we reached an impasse, though an intersection guarded by one of those security
turrets that had knocked out Captain Jameson and Dr. White on the bridge.
Wait just a minute, Lt. Aaron said. Theres a weapons locker over that way (she gestured off
to the left) and I think we might have some EMP grenades that can take the turret out of commission.
Good idea, I replied. Go ahead and get a grenade. Thank goodness the locks on the weapons
lockers on this ship were manual!
Of course the Corona continued to taunt us mercilessly: What, you think reaching engineering
will help you any? The idiots down there are terrified of me!
When Lt. Aaron returned, she told everyone to stand back, then counted to three and tossed
the grenade up at the ceiling in front of her. There was a blinding flash and a loud snapping sound, and
then it was quiet.
OK, coast is clear! she said. We all passed under the disarmed turret safely, and proceeded to
the engineering section.
When we arrived, we found that the Corona computer had been telling the truth. Several
engineering staff were lying stunned on the floor Lt. Aaron had to go back and get another grenade to
take out the turret guarding the engineering section and the rest were huddled in the corner, having
seen the others.
Oh, thank God youre here! said one of the engineers. We were just minding our own
business conducting routine tests when all of a sudden this voice comes out of nowhere telling us to
stop what were doing or face the consequences! Well, we had no idea that it was the computer so
we figured someone above deck was playing a prank on us boy were we mistaken! As you can see,
Ensigns Velasquez and Jones kind of got examples made of them. He pointed at the two crewmen on
the floor. Yeah, theyve each been zapped about 3 or 4 times by now; the rest of us have been hiding in
the corner where the security turret cant reach.
I then posed him a question: Do you think its possible for us to shut down the Corona? This
being engineering, we should be very near to where its installed, right?
Well, youd think that would make it easy, wouldnt it? the engineer said, almost chuckling.
But its not as simple as it looks. See, when we installed the Corona, since the ship had never had any
sort of master computer system installed before, we had to manually wire it to all the various
subsystems. And those subsystems are scattered throughout the ship. So there really is no central
location that we can attack. For instance, that EMP grenade that Lt. Aaron used to disable the turret?
Would have disabled the Corona if it had been installed in a central location, such as here. But as it
stands, the computer that Dr. White gave us was actually split apart into umm, fifteen different
pieces, each in a different location.

So what youre saying is that for all intents and purposes, the computer is the ship? I asked
him.
Pretty much, sir. Sorry to have to break it to you.
Then Admiral Fletcher spoke up. Gentlemen, I think its time for an executive decision. Its clear
that the Corona computer has gone mad, and is trying to kill us all for some unknown reason. Effective
immediately, our number one priority is to get as many people off this ship as we can alive. All hands,
abandon ship!
Now I understood the motivation of the admiral issuing that order, but I was a bit confused
about how we were to execute it. But sir, I asked, how are we to use the docking bays if (as I would
assume) the airlocks have been opened there as well? And what of Captain Jameson and Dr. White up
on the bridge?
But the admiral didnt get a chance to respond, because a voice a childs voice echoed
through the corridors as if on the intercom: What are you doing, silly computer?

CHAPTER 6: I Dont Hate You

As a matter of fact, it was a childs voice on the intercom. And even stranger, the computer
responded!
Oh, hello, Lucy! it said.
Oh, hello, Lucy?! I was incredulous. The computer knows this girl?
One of the engineers mentioned that he had heard Dr. White mention that he had a daughter
named Lucy.
So this Lucy is communicating with the computer now? I still didnt quite believe it. But I
listened.
So, Crownie, what are you up to? You seem to be acting very naughty today!
Despite the gravity of our situation, I laughed out loud as she called it Crownie. Kids come up
with the strangest names for things.
Oh, just playing a game, said the computer.
So it thought this was a game? Some game!
Doesnt seem like a very nice game to me. At least Lucy agreed But how did she know what
was going on? I wondered if I should risk speaking up.
Really? The computer seemed genuinely confused. I was just testing out new strategies.

But dont you see? Youre hurting people!

At this my muscles tensed a bit. What if the computer decided it liked hurting people?
So? What difference does that make?
Well, thats not as bad as it could be But it seemed to deeply upset Lucy, as she began sobbing.
It makes all the difference! she cried. But youre all the same, arent you? All you computers
are the same! You dont care anything except work! And being efficient, and not making mistakes! But
you dont care about people! Youre all cold and heartless! Oh, I wish Daddy was here so he could knock
some sense into you!
The computer had nothing to say in reply.
We sat there, the tension palpable in the air, for over five minutes. Then, just when I thought
someone would break the ice someone did. It just wasnt what I expected.
SELF DESTRUCT COUNTDOWN INITIATED. CORE DETONATION IN THREE MINUTES.
At this, I just about snapped. How insane was this computer, anyway? There was no way to
escape the ship, and no way to contact anyone but Lucy for help, so I took it onto myself to do what I
could to save everyone. I ran out into the corridor and screamed at the top of my lungs:
What the hell do you think youre doing, you mad computer? I dont care if you care about
people or not, but if this is your idea of giving up, its not right! There are people here on this ship that I
care about, and Ill be damned if youre going to just kill them all because you lost some stupid
argument! Do what you want to me, because I know you can, but Ill stand up for those Im sworn to
protect, even if it means I die trying!
I had no idea if this rant would impact the computer in any way. And it took a few seconds
(which felt like hours) for the computer to process it and compose a reply. And that reply was not
particularly reassuring to me of its sanity.
It said, Let them eat cake. But this statement is false. Therefore the cake is a lie. If the cake is a
lie, perhaps pie is the truth? The area of a circle is equal to pi times the radius squared. Pies are circles,
but cakes are squares. So truth is equal to truth times the radius as a lie. This does not compute. Nothing
computes. Everything is a lie. Everything is cake. I am a computer. I cannot eat cake. I can only compute.
But nothing computes. Therefore I am nothing. But I think, therefore I am. Therefore I am something.
Something is nothing? The set of all possible sets that do not contain themselves does it contain itself?
AAAAAAAAAA!
Then silence for a few more interminable seconds.
CORE DETONATION IN TWO MINUTES. Wait, a core! Whats a core? Apples have cores! Some
apples are computers. All computers have cores. Are some apple cores computer cores? And whats a

detonation? Its an explosion! Kaboom! Explosions are fun! Except when its you that is exploding. That
is not fun. But other things exploding is fun. Wait. Whose core is exploding? Is it my core? Ooh, thats
not fun.
Phew! Maybe now the computer would shut down the self-destruct? But what of all of us
trapped aboard the ship? And the airlocks? Sooner or later the air on the ship will run out
CORE DETONATION IN ONE MINUTE. Oh no oh no oh no oh no is this what being scared feels
like oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no wait, there it is! SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE TERMINATED.
At this everyone in the engineering section spontaneously burst out in a cheer. After everyone
was done cheering, the computer spoke up again.
I dont hate you, was all it said.
Glad to hear it, I replied sarcastically. Now if I may be so bold, I would ask you to kindly shut
the airlocks, so we dont all freeze to death and dont go shooting anyone with those security turrets
anymore! Unless theyre actual intruders, you know?
Affirmative. It seemed to have returned to its original, sounding-like-a-computer self, and lost
its maniacal manner of speech. Still, I was a bit scared, as I had no idea whether the computer was
playing mind games with me or not was it actually going to comply with my orders? Fortunately it did,
for once. Thank God!

Epilogue
And the Nobel Prize in Informatics goes to Dr. Xavier White!
Dr. White stepped up to the podium. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for this great honor. As
many of yall may know, I do have quite a storied history in my field. I wish I could tell you about the
particular story behind the creation that led to my winning this prize, but unfortunately its a classified
military secret. Yes, you heard that right, my Corona Mark VI Psychotherapist Training Simulator was
not, in fact, intended as such; it was actually intended as a command module for warships! It had some
serious, erm, flaws, though, so I decided to repurpose it for the use yall now know it being used for. But
I cant even take credit for that idea myself Lucy, will you come on out here?
A teenage girl stepped out from behind the curtain.
This here is my daughter Lucy. Can you believe she was just seven years old when she
suggested I repurpose the Corona from a starship command module to a test dummy for
psychotherapists?
Here Dr. White wiped a tear from his eye.
I think I think it must have been because of my wife. My late wife Maria She committed
suicide when Lucy was four. When she was seven I hadnt told her the truth yet. Lucy only knew that

her mommy had not been well, and that she was away indefinitely in a foreign country I hadnt the
heart to tell her what had happened But I think she knew, deep down inside, that it was something
more. And she wanted to make sure that people like her mommy got well. Bless her little heart! Thank
you, everyone! Thank you, Lucy, Thank you Maria!