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Pick me up - what happens when you put a group of amazing and talented
people into a room and they start inspiring each other.
Wow. It is amazing what happens when a group of empowered and talented
individuals are put together into the same room. Magic happens. And it is
scarcely predictable that a compassionate act done years ago passed on could
result in such wonderful, creative and powerful energies harmonizing. And
looking at the result of the efforts, it is amazing.
Pick me up - When an aspect of your life is expanded and you experience an
uplifting in your conditions and circumstances. Over the years, I have met
individuals who looked for assistance with an aspect of their lives or another.
As a function of livelihood by necessity and contribution by choice, I have had
the opportunity to work with these individuals to coach with them on their
situations and work with them. Coaching, of course, is a slow but progressive
route. So we slowly pieced together solutions, breakthroughs, new paradigms,
new opportunities, and new lives. Whenever there was a new accomplishment,
a mark of their progress, there would be celebration of triumph, an
acknowledgement of possibilities and the successful coordination of skill, effort
and probabilities.
Pick me up - When your life suffers a setback and you need a helping hand.
Everyone deserves a chance at happiness. After all, didn't the US constitution
promise us the pursuit of happiness? (We're Asians here, so we are not actually
entitled) Most of us find ourselves in the overwhelming circumstances of our
lives, and however valiant the efforts of our parents and teachers, our
education prepares us for the real-life situation poorly, for much of real life
lies outside the domain of simple theories. Armed with a roadmap that doesn't
really make practical sense, we march down the road of life only to find that it
isn't quite what we expected. We struggle to make sense of things, and turn
our eyes to the models and solutions that are offered and thrown around, that
make vague promises of happiness, possibility and success, and never knowing
really what works.
Once in a while, for some people, they discover something that makes sense
and fits, and when they apply these answers that they have found to their life
circumstances, they produce results. When these results are accumulated, they
create stories of victories over circumstances, the realization of deeper aspects
of themselves, the fulfillment of intended dreams, and produce a purpose to
the meaninglessness around. I want to acknowledge the individuals who
generously offered their stories of their journeys, the team that put it together,
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and to the spirited efforts that made this possible. And in 24 hours no less.
Amazing.
This book is the collection of the journeys these people undertook, and the
lessons they learnt. May they inspire you to greater experiences of your
extraordinary.

Kelvin Lim
Master Certified Coach
Founder
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd

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KELVIN LIM For being the source of these stories

For taking those leaps in your life such that youre able to pave the way
for others to follow. For sharing, for just being there, and in this case, for
staying the night:
Alex
Benjamin
Dave
Dionis
Enghao
Hung
Jannis
Johnson
Lai Cheng
Merry
Richard
Simon
Soon
Xing Jian
Yuan Teck
Khim - For feeding our hungry
stomachs with absolutely
delicious breakfast that
raised our energy level!

Andrew
Didi
En Yung
Eileen
Esther
Jada
Joanne
Jourdan
Lin
Ranvir
Rosli
Siong Chee
Teng Nging
Yixin
Zeoane
Gobbs For the fantastic book cover!
Visit her website at
www.forestcreative.com

Others who contributed to this 24-hour Pick Me Up Book:

Bharad
Chee Hong
Chun Liang
Clarie
Eric
Halimah
Joseph Gan
Julz
Lena

Pei Ying
Vicki
Wei Ling

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Introduction
- Story One ALT + CLARITY + CHANGE
By Eric Feng

- Story Two Good use of Boredom

By Eileen Feng

- Story Three Long Lost Love

By Soon Loo

- Story Four What I Really Want For Myself

By Julia Ng

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- Story Five Blind To The Love That Was Always There

By Jannis Wah

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- Story Six The Fall I Learnt to take

By Alex Tay

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- Story Seven The Gift of Depression

By Anonymous

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- Story Eight Giving With My Heart

By Esther Zheng

27

- Story Nine To Love Again

By Khim Erh

30

- Story Ten Self-Searching

By Giam Lai Cheng

33

- Story Eleven My Gift to Mankind

By Simon Tan

36

- Story Twelve The Search of Inner Peace

By Vicki Lew

40

- Story Thirteen Lovingly So

By Weiling Lin

43

- Story Fourteen The Shocking Truth

By Tan Xing Jian

46
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- Story Fifteen Getting My Family and Myself Back

By Ye Yi Xin

49

- Story Sixteen Courage to Take the First Step

By Zeoane Goh

53

- Story Seventeen The Death That Brought Life

By Andrew Zhan

56

- Story Eighteen Searching For Something More

By Ben

60

- Story Nineteen More Efforts More Results!

By Joanne Lee

64

- Story Twenty How I Ditched My Game Console

By Johnson Tan

67

- Story Twenty-one The Greatest Love in Life

By Jourdan Soh

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- Story Twenty-two Not Giving Up

By Lena Goh

74

- Story Twenty-three The Second Child Syndrome

By Lin Tan

77

- Story Twenty-four Possibilities

By Merry Tay

81

- Story Twenty-five Gratefulness

By Mohammad Rosli

86

- Story Twenty-six Growing Up

By Bharad Satyavolu

89

- Story Twenty-seven The Prodigal Son

By Didi Fardi Bandi

92

- Story Twenty-eight The Return

By Peh Eng Hao

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- Story Twenty-nine Appreciation

By Chew En Yong

99

- Story Thirty My Family Miracle

By Halimah Rahmat

102

- Story Thirty-one Getting Up and OUT!!

By Ranvir Singh

106

- Story Thirty-two Rewarding Reunion

By Richard Chua

111

- Story Thirty-three Led and Lost

By Loke Siong Chee

114

- Story Thirty-four Letting Go

By Teng Nging Tan

117

- Story Thirty-five All For the Family

By Lim Yuan Teck

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- Story Thirty-six If Only I Wasnt So Shy

By Goh Ee Hung

124

- Story Thirty-seven Confidence

By Lim Pei Ying

127

- Story Thirty-eight All It Takes Is Just A little Courage

By Dionis Chiua

127

- Story Thirty-nine Finding Myself

By Dave Tan

127

- Story Forty Barrier Breakers

By Jeda Seet

127

- Story Forty-one Abnormal People

By Claire Kwa

127

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5 Lessons to Pick Me Up
- Overcoming Barriers and Blind Spots
- Clearing Clutters
- Performing Acts of Courage
- Being Discipline
- Putting in Actions

149

About ECI

153

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ALT + CLARITY + CHANGE

Throughout my life, people around me have always complained
about their lack of money. I always struggled with a different kind
of problem my lack of time.
I have always been an ambitious person; ironically, I was also very
lost in my life. I spent my time doing meaningless things for
different people, so much so I hardly have time to spend on myself.
As I strived to keep that up, I soon forgot what I wanted for myself.
I was drowning in my busyness, and started to forget what was
important to me. Like my ambitions, for example. However I could
not completely let go of them. I ended up so lost and torn that I
started to tumble into a state of despair and confusion. My life
turned chaotic and devoid of any meaning. I wanted so much to
believe that there has to be something that I could do about this I
found myself asking numerous questions that remained unanswered.
The answer came to me when a kind acquaintance introduced me to
coaching. Through the process, I got real with myself and had a
hard look into what I kept myself so busy all the time for other
people. The answers were hard to swallow the truth always is. I
had a fanatical need for approval and I somehow made that the
meaning of my life. Sure enough, that was about as useful as I could
be.
Knowing this gave me the chance to fix my life as it is. My mind was
filled with all the possibilities of what my life can be about, and no
doubts can prevent me from taking this chance. The passion that I
used to have come back with fervor and, coupled with my new
found clarity, I learnt to focus it on the things that really mattered
to me. I carried on pursuing the ambitions that I once neglected.
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Within a short span of time, I started to make marked achievements

in the area of public speaking and eventually emerged champion in
several regional speech competitions, including the Toastmasters
Humorous Contest (Division). I was short-listed and invited to be
featured in The Straits Times under the Top 25 Alternate Achievers
in 2006. Just a few months after, I authored and launched a book
The FAQ Book on Public Speaking. And I dare say I have only just
begun!
Most importantly, these achievements are only secondary to what I
now realize really matters to me my relationship with my family.
They say loving someone gives you courage - I started opening up to
my parents. I told them how much I love them. I made efforts to be
with them when possible and spend quality time with them. All
these allowed me to achieve a level of intimacy with my parents I
never thought possible.
I found myself falling in love with life itself and my days starting
filling with joy and excitement. I was living my life for MYSELF! Yes,
life started to feel glorious! My dreams and ambitions were being
fulfilled and with every achievement, new dreams started to unfold
for me. Life is never boring now, and it just gets better every step
of the way.

Eric Feng, 26
Professional Star Speaker
Associate Certified Coach, ICF
Program Leader, AdvantEdge

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COMMENTARY FROM MASTER COACH

When one is young and talented, many opportunities tend to come
to us and sometimes we fall into a frenzy of trying to fall upon all of
these opportunities at the same time. And if u are talented, it is
easy to attain gains in several areas and get caught in a trap of
multiple successes. While this can be considered to be an enviable
position, being torn between two promising roles can be painful
because we could find it difficult to even consider letting go of any
of them. When one chooses to go right back to ones core one
would be able to find what really matters the source of what
made you successful and
talented in the first place. And when we find the core it will be a
relatively smooth journey to begin to establish oneself in the
direction of ones true talent.
Sometimes ambition is in fact a running away from a sense of
failure or a fear of failure and hence a person tries to cover up the
emptiness inside by acquiring things on the outside. After all, does
not the triumphant cry of a successful man ultimately result in look
at how much money I have, dont you envy me? Am I not better
than you? Look at the 10 thousand people Im talking to? Do you
love me enough now? and it all come down to one thing Im doing
this to prove to myself and the world how good I am. Dont you
think somebody can now pick me up?

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GOOD USE OF BOREDOM

I remember when I was younger; I was doing pretty well in class. I
scored As in exams; I was the president of my debating club. Life
was smooth for me. However, I had a big issue unresolved!!!
I got bored very easily!
And I had to create excitement for myself.
Every afternoon when I returned from school, I would make new
friends on internet relay chat (IRC). Soon after, we met at Orchard
Road to chill out. Problem is, I could never really get their
conversations they were always boring. They would complain
about
their teachers, school work, exams I got so bored hearing their
complaints that overtime, I shunned them.
Soon after, I met another group of friends. They were training hard
for national competition in counterstrike. I never joined a gaming
competition before, so I wanted to join them! They took me in and
trained me up. I was never as hardworking in my school tests in
comparison. We trained day and night and we won! It was exciting
initially, but after the competition, there was nothing to look
forward to.
I started to hang out with them less. And I got myself into a
relationship. Life was so romantic. We would search for our favorite
recipe and cook together, sneaked into pubs together. I even ran
away from home to stay with him for awhile. I love these mini
adventures! However after some time, life became routine again.

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Even in school, Id get very bored easily. I cannot understand why

teachers read word-by-word from the textbook! I was frustrated
and I didnt want to waste my time in school. So I pretended to be
sick and took medical certificates. However, after a few weeks, I
still went back to school not because the teachers were
complaining, but because if I did not go school, there was no where
else better for me to go! So I back to school I went.
One afternoon while sitting in my school auditorium, I looked
around, and was shit by this strange feeling. There seemed to be no
one whom I could connect with. I felt very lonely and I realized if
this was how my life would look like for the next 20 years, I would
be devastated! I began to ask Why am I here for?
I went home and shared my feelings with my brother. My brother is
a coach. He shared with me about coaching and asked if I was
interested. As there was nothing better for me to do in December, I
thought this would be a good opportunity to meet new friends!
Never would I have expected that this was the turning point of my
life! I had so many realizations about myself - one of which was that
I didnt dare to dream. And where did that come from? When I was
younger, my dad always told me not to dream.
You must study hard, work for a company first to gain your
experience and earn enough money! Those words left a deep
impact in me. At that point of time, my dad was the eldest and the
man I respected most, so I always thought he must be right. This
mindset has been implanted in my mind for a long time- and whats
most unbelievable was that I was not even aware of how it has
influenced my goals in life. Ever since the conversation I had with
my dad, I never wanted to waste my time dreaming. All I did was
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to focus on my studies so that my good grades can land me in a

company to work and gain experience.
When I realized how this mindset has influenced me, I saw how it
was possible to achieve my long lost dreams. This breakthrough
allowed me to regain clarity and energy!
With that newfound inner energy, I went back home to generate a
long list of my wish list. I showed my dreams to my coach, and he
was surprised by the dreams that I have always blocked myself from
achieving. He looked at me, told me to pick one goal to work on
first!
I worked with my coach to develop a plan to raise $30,000 for my
fashion business. With this amount of money, I can set up my
fashion boutique. The day arrived when I shared my business plan
with my investors. To my surprise, they asked If we give you 5
times the amount, would you be able to create 5 times the result?
And I replied Why not? With that, they invested 5 times the
amount of money to my business!
I had $150,000 to set up my fashion boutique. I expanded my
fashion boutique from one storey to two stories. I also created my
own menswear label, which is housed in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur,
Hong Kong and USA. As the finishing touch, I organized a fashion
show in St James Power House, with over 900 tickets sold. In one
year, the fashion boutique was featured in 7 local and overseas
magazines.

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Its not only the results that are amazing, but it is how I am able to
create an exciting life for myself! I get to do real big things in my
life, such as traveling to different countries to visit clients. Also,
this frees me up in my relationships with my mum and dad.
Currently, my expression of love to my mum and dad has become
very open at home. Being able to connect with my parents and say
I love you to my mum and dad was one of the biggest
breakthroughs in my life that I will always cherish.

Eileen Feng, 21
Entrepreneur

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COMMENTARY FROM MASTER COACH

Why is it that human beings are always running? When we are not
running away from our fears, we could end up running away from
our boredom. Boredom is a scary word. Boredom haunts a lot of
people with gifts but who have no channels to express them through.
Why does one get bored? Mostly I believe we are afraid. Afraid of
what is to come, afraid of what I could be. When we get bored, it is
often because our environment has no idea of how to make use of
us. That we are not called upon for our talents and we cannot
become the best that we can be. On the other hand, boredom could
be a fear of what we could become. That our whole lives we have
been told that we have to do so much to be worthy and the better
lot is not meant for us, but reserved for some other privileged
person.
Maybe we are all meant to be great in some way, big or small. And
in a world view that we live in currently, that tells us we are not
good enough, that we are equal yet there are other people that are
more privileged, we end up trapped in the paradox of knowing
something is inside us but yet believing we have no claim to that
greatness. A human being needs worthy opponents either in the
form of people or in the form of circumstances. The greater the
challenge the more we rise to the occasion. Sometimes all we need
is a dream bigger than what we believe we can handle to break
what we were told that we couldnt be. Is there a dream that you
are afraid to even begin?

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LONG LOST LOVE

To my peers, I may be considered as successful with a Harvard MBA
to boot. I am in my early thirties and was a vice president with AXA
one of the worlds largest financial and insurance institutions in
Singapore. I had a staff strength of 42 people and was managing a
general insurance portfolio worth S$120M in annual premiums.
Despite all that, I was not happy. Because I could not get the most
important thing that I want in life: to be able to love deeply.
You see, a long time ago I was able to truly love deeply. She was my
university sweetheart and we shared many of our firsts together:
first kisses, first love poems written, first practice job interviews,
first paychecks and more. However, when good things happen, I
took it for granted. 10 years into the relationship, I gave up it up
when I returned to Asia from North America. I had many excuses:
she has changed, I have changed, and the relationship is not the
same as before. The truth is: I am just being plain stupid.
Back in Asia, I went into new relationships and advanced well in the
corporate world. However, something inside me changed: I was not
able to love anymore. Deep down inside, my conscience kept
reminding me that I do not deserve to love because I have given up
on a lovely ten year relationship. If I could break it up once, what
make me think that I would not do it again?
If life is supposed to be colorful, then my world was gray. That was
the kind of life I was living for years a life of pretense and acts.
All that changed the day I met my coach.
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The funny thing is, I was looking for ways to further my career and
get more money. Instead, in all my conversations with my coach, I
came face to face with this relationship that I have abandoned and
came to terms with the fact that it was me who broke up the
relationship, and that I was not as good as the person whom I
thought I was.
After two weeks of coaching, I flew back to San Francisco to the
mini locker where I stored all my belongings ever since I left for
Asia 4 years ago. As I went through the lockers content, my history
with this past relationship and the weight of the life that I was
running away from bore down on me. I broke down and cried and
cried. I needed
her forgiveness. Saying sorry deeply was never easy for me. I took
up all my courage and I called her in Hong Kong on the spot to ask
for her forgiveness. And she did. I also found out that she has
already moved on to a new relationship for the last 2 years.
So it was just me who was stuck in my guilty state!
In getting her forgiveness, I forgive myself. In forgiving myself, my
whole world opened up. I could love again, and I was finally able to
live my life happy again! Great things started to happen. I found a
renewed devotion into my career and was promoted to regional vice
president position of AXA in Japan and Asia Pacific managing
regional projects for 11 countries in the region subsequently. A few
months down the road, I then took on a further act of courage. I
found the courage to quit the corporate world and joined the board
of directors of a large real estate company that will soon be listed
on the Singapore Stock Exchange.

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One year four months, I am still living the courage to create journey
to continuously create the life that I truly deserved and desired.
And yes, I am in love!

Soon Loo, 34
Entrepreneur
Director of a Singapore Real Estate Investment Trust

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COMMENTARY FROM MASTER COACH

In our acquisitive world, drive is a very powerful tool to push. We
run, we fly and by doing so we receive the envious looks of people
who long for that kind of power. When things slow down, we use
the ability to whip ourselves into creating the results that are
beyond extraordinary. Indeed this is the stuff of legends, of how
heroes are made. And in some way, some of us long to become a
hero, or hang out with one. Hoping some of that magic would rub
off on us. Nietchzhe once said verily polluted a stream is man.
And in the end we are human, all too human. Our heroes are flawed.
We are flawed. And so we strive to mend that flaw even if it costs
us our lives. Our gurus have clay feet. Our parents arent
impeccable. And our drives are tainted. Why would a person push
himself so hard? Something we run towards would mean there is
something we are running away from. To drive oneself really hard
against the odds of the world requires courage. To turn back and
face our shadows to see what is really pushing us takes greater
courage. When we dare to face what we run away from that
punishes us so relentlessly, perhaps we could like in this story, go
beyond what we ran away from. And find the very thing that is
missing in us. And when a man is fulfilled, and he chooses to fly,
what a glorious sight.

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WHAT I REALLY WANT FOR MYSELF

I was at the peak of my design career 10 years ago in 1998 and
unclear of which path to take when choices opened up, due to a
lack of clarity on my part to make any decision on what I want to do
with my life. One day, as I was going through the everyday motions
of life - going to work, arriving at the office, settling down with a
cup of coffee in my hand and looking at the view outside my office.
As I looked out of the window to the nice view outside, it suddenly
hit me that I have been going through this mechanical routine for
years! All this time I hadnt even noticed! That got me thinking and
I started questioning myself about what I could be doing, what is
really important to me and where I wanted to go. I was looking at
the life that I had lived and I wondered what other aspects of life
that I had not considered. I wanted more. I wanted a direction.
Through coaching, I realized why I am driven the way I am, how I
became someone who only knows about going for appointments and
never stopping to question my way of life. One other major
realization that I got was that Ive always been seeking my mums
approval, to get a good job and climb the ranks, following in the
footsteps of my parents. All my life, I had been living my parents
dream for me. What about my dream for myself? With all this
awareness and realization of myself, there was a shift in paradigm,
I found the direction that I wanted and I set on to create the change
in my life.
In the past, I had many creative ideas but was unable to implement
them into the work I was doing. But this time round, after observing
the many gaps in the design industry, I found the courage and
started my own design business, taking on direct creative projects,
in which gave me better control of my work, enabling me to pick
and choose my own clients, which opened a window of bigger
opportunities to do the things that I truly enjoy. Finally, I was living
my dream after all these years.
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My relationship with my family has since improved tremendously

and I am now so much more present to the world, noticing the
things around me and enjoying life and the beauty and pleasures it
has.
I am now the Creative Director at Sightworks and also the Managing
Director of Advantage Coaching, I am set on grooming the next
generation of creative designers. While this sense of fulfillment that
I have in my life can never be returned to those who made it
possible, I can and am paying it forward with my contributions to
the world.

Julia Ng, 41
Associate Certified Coach, ICF
Program Leader, AdvantEdge

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COMMENTARY FROM MASTER COACH

We get lost easily in the mechanics of life because sometimes it is
all there seems to be. Even the promises and answers that some
people proclaim end up being mechanical routines as well. What
was thought to be a perfect job, turns out to cost our very
fulfillment. What was a perfect house becomes a nightmare of
maintenance. Life can be
mechanical if we forget who we are and what our dreams are. Life
becomes mechanical when we get caught into the cogworks of
trying to make ends meet, trying to meet deadlines, trying to
please the boss, trying to get the next promotion, trying to make
more money than our cousins so that during Chinese new year, we
can brag, trying to have an attractive mate that would provoke
envy.
It is difficult though, to try to go beyond the mechanics of living
because they are after all a kind of necessity, but until and unless
we transcend the mechanics of living, either though surpassing
them or simplifying ourselves, we wont really be able to have
access to space and energy to discover what we really want for
ourselves. Sometimes what we need is a nice long break that we
can scarcely afford, or sometimes we just need someone to open
our eyes when we are mired in the mechanics of living. Wouldnt it
be wonderful if somebody could reach in and pick us up?

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BLIND TO THE LOVE THAT WAS ALWAYS THERE

For many years of my life, I did not know why I am here. During my
schooling years, I knew I had an education I had to achieve.
However, over the years, I did not know what I was studying for. It
hit me harder especially in university years when my mind was
often preoccupied with questions about life and I was just drifting
through life. I became anguished in the process. This feeling was
accentuated by thoughts of my dad not caring about me. Hence, to
protect myself, I decided to shut him out of my life. However, on
the other hand, I yearned for acceptance by him. These led to my
mind and emotions being in turmoil. Through the years, I got worn
out and subtly rejected my life. In order for me to protect myself, I
told myself that I had to be strong and try not to display my sadness,
especially tears, in front of others.
One day before entering the working society, I decided that it was
probably time to get my life back so I took joined a seminar.
However, it did not give me the clarity I wanted. It was not until my
best friend, shared some of her experiences with me.
The coaching that she introduced to me caused a paradigm shift in
the way I see things. I realized that all this while I misinterpreted
my Dads actions. You see, I always thought that he did not care for
my well-being, but it turned out that he was actually showing me
his care and love in a different form! Let me explain... Since young,
my dad has always been asking to look at my grades and how I
performed at school. I always saw him as being strict; and since he
was away from home often he should not be asking me such
questions.
But in the coaching program, I saw that that was actually his way of
showing concern for me all these years. However, back then, I was
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marred by the thought that he was often away from home and
failed to realize that his concern for me was actually through his
query about my grades, etc. This cleared up my relationship with
him. I no longer had an emotional turmoil with regards to my
relationship with him. Now I am able to speak with him more
willingly.
Not only that, I found out that there was more to my life. I have a
clearer idea of what I want to do with my life, which is to give back
to society by doing missionary or charity work. And eventually I
want to set up a charity foundation.
As I expanded myself, other transformations happened. Before, I
often tend not to convey my thoughts on certain matters for fear of
saying the wrong thing hence being rejected. However, I realized
that my past impression of my father created this fear I had. With
awareness about the history I had with my father, I now do not have
as much self-doubt. I have more courage to express my thoughts
and feelings. As my relationships got better, it contributed to my
career too. Im am connecting with my clients now and maintaining
my relationships with them. Theres a higher probability of getting
more deals than before. When things are bothering me, Im able to
let them go faster and focus better. Not am I starting to connect
with people, but most importantly, with myself.
Finally, Im starting to live my life.

Jannis Wah, 24
Financial Advisor

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COMMENTARY FROM MASTER COACH

Preparation. There are many ways to prepare oneself for life. Most
of them insufficient. For theory and practice is never the same as
real time situations. But it takes courage to realize that one isnt
ready and it takes even more courage to prepare oneself well so
that one can move at the pace and in the direction that one desires.
Sometimes the preparation is missing because we dont know
enough. Sometimes it is because we feel we are not supported
enough. And until we have enough of both venturing out can often
lead us to bad decisions that eventually trap us. We need a kind of
love and support either from ourselves to ourselves or from the
people who love us to us. We need someone to hold our hands
sometimes, and more importantly we need someone to hold our
hearts. And armed with that kind of certainty, its not too hard to
imagine how we can face the unknown.

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Are you interested in changing

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