THE WAVERLY NEWSLETTER

Spring, 1997 - Volume X

Greenwich, CT
The Final Tally
Here is a final summary of the cash transactions completed during the 1996 Waverly Invitational.
1995 1996 Total Calcutta Tournament Close To Pin Total
Player Owner Bid Bid Investment Prize $ Prize $ & Long Drive Winnings

Tim Bardo Rudy $ 8 $60 $ 55.00 $156 $ 90 $40 $286

Stan Beyler Billy G. N/A $85 $ 42.50 -0- $ 5 $30 $ 35

Tim Birney Horn N/A $45 $ 22.50 -0- -0- -0- -0-

Woody Billy G. N/A $65 $ 72.50 $104 -0- -0- $104

Brotzman

Jim Cadden Bardo $30 $50 $ 25.00 -0- $ 35 $40 $ 75

Bill Carey Rick $34 $32 $ 16.00 -0- $ 10 $30 $ 40

Patrick English Woody $48 $80 $ 40.00 $104 $ 70 $10 $184

Tom Geshay Rick N/A $85 $ 42.50 -0- -0- $30 $ 30

Billy Gillette Sammy $ 9 $90 $160.00 -0- -0- -0- -0-

Sammy Goble Marty $36 $90 $ 90.00 -0- -0- $20 $20

Rick Hakes Larry $25 $30 $143.50 $208 $ 20 $10 $238

Pat Horn Ricky $32 $65 $ 55.00 $208 $120 $10 $338

Marty Kurlich Larry $ 7 $35 $100.00 $ 56 $ 50 -0- $106

Greg Poole Billy G. N/A $80 $ 40.00 -0- -0- -0- -0-

Larry Ellis Marty N/A $75 $ 70.00 $ 56 -0- $10 $ 66

Rudy Marshburn Ricky N/A $75 $ 67.50 $156 -0- -0- $156

Other $62

Total $295 $1,042 $1,042 $300 $230 $1,572

Just Some Observations

An analysis of the above reveals that Calcutta bids jumped a whopping 350% from 1995 to 1996. For 95
players returning in 96, the bids jumped by 250%. Limo Carey was the lone player falling in bid price, by just
over 5%. Razor Gillette had the largest increase, a meteoric rise of 1000%! And he DNF-ed!!!!! Prize
money went from $430 in 95 to $530 in 96. Ricky’s $32.50 bet on 5-O Horn bought a very nice 640%
return. Rudy’s $30 wager on Bardo returned 520%. Makes one wonder what 1997 will bring.
For What It's Worth
If you want to know what a man is really like, take notice how he acts when he loses money.

Waverly Memorial
In memory of Paul Henson, a plaque has been commissioned for Paul’s home course in Waverly, NY. A
small donation from Waverly participants is appreciated. Please see Rick Hakes.

Bardo Gets Lucky

Tim Bardo and the Seven Dwarfs walk up to a convent and huddle outside the door to discuss something.
Then Doc walks up to the door and knocks. The Mother Superior opens the door and Doc asks her if there
are any 3 ft nuns in this convent. The Mother Superior looks at him funny and says that no, there are no 3 ft
nuns here. Doc thanks her and goes back to the group and they huddle again making all sorts of whispering
noises.

Happy walks up to the door and knocks jovially. Mother Superior opens the door and Happy asks if there are
any 3 ft nuns in the country. Mother Superior wonders what is going on, but says that, no, there are no 3 ft
nuns in the country. Happy thanks her and goes back to the group. Again they huddle for consultation.

Grumpy is sent up to the door. The Mother Superior opens the door and Grumpy asks her if there are any 3
ft nuns on the continent, and the Mother Superior, frustrated, says that NO, there are no 3 ft nuns on the
continent. Grumpy growls a thank you and goes back to the group.

After a few minutes, they send Sleepy. He knocks on the door and the Mother Superior opens the door, sees
Sleepy standing there, and yells,

"NO! THERE ARE NO 3 FT NUNS ON THE ENTIRE PLANET! NONE! THERE NEVER
WERE AND NEVER WILL BE ANY 3 FT NUNS! EVER!"

and slams the door. Sleepy yawns and goes back the group. He shakes his head. The rest of the group turns
to Bardo and starts chanting

"BARDO FUCKED A PENGUIN, BARDO FUCKED A PENGUIN..."

For the Fashion Conscious

Some tips from Waverly Best Dressed winners from years past.
1. Unless you don’t have much to draw in, avoid drawstring pant.
2. Never wear a plaid jacket to a job interview, unless it’s for a used car sales position.
3. You’re not supposed to smell your own cologne once it’s on.
4. Unless the corona from a total eclipse is coming through the skylight, lose the sunglasses indoors.
5. Loosening or taking off your tie does not make you look sporty, it makes you look drunk.
6. When confronted by a person wearing reflective aviators, look him square in the eye and fix your hair.
7. There is nothing wrong with a man buying a fur coat, so long as he’s giving it to someone who goes
to a gynecologist.
Trivia:
Can you name the Masters champion who has yet to turn in the low score for any round? Amazingly, this
champion has never led at 18, 36 or 54 holes.

Get Ready for 97!!

Here are the mutuals on the 1997 Waverly Invitational. Reconfirm with the Commish your date and time of
arrival, 919-968-2537, and he will send you a map if you need one. The ever popular Calcutta auction will
take place Thursday night. (You can visit the Governors Club web site at www.governorsclub.com)

Round Holes Tee Time Course Green Fee Comments

Practice 18 TBA Devil’s Ridge $45 Challenging, rolling venue.
First 27 9:30 am Governors Club $85 A classy club. How’d we get in?
Second 27 9:00 am Preston $55 A good middle round course.
Third 18 12:50 pm The Nuese $40 2 tough finishing holes.

News, Notes & Dirt:

A few thoughts during a slow day at the office ....... Rudy is still king - please let the leader do that sponge
bath thing again - yow! ....... What ever happened to Dice Clay ....... The best way to remember your wife’s
birthday is to forget it once ....... Survival Tip - Pinky rings look so cool, but only if you’re in a Martin
Scorsese film ....... Anybody who wears one of those Shark hats with the wide brim that just begs you to put
taco chips on one side and salsa dip on the other deserves whatever they get .......

Stocks To Watch
Here is a recap of the Waverly portfolio since it’s inception. Not a bad for a bunch of hackers.
6/15/95 02/28/97
Market Price 05/07/97 Market Price 05/07/97
IBM NYSE $92.625 $162.125 Paychex Nasdaq $46.375 $ 52.250
LockMart NYSE $64.875 $ 91.750 Erie Ind. Nasdaq $32.000 $ 29.500
Presstek Nasdaq $53.000 $ 70.250 McDonalds NYSE $43.500 $ 53.750

Life Is Almost Complete

What if my mind goes blank in the middle of my backswing? What if my foursome thinks I really suck?
What if my putter trembles and I start stumbling over my Footjoys? That nervous feel while competing in
The Waverly is not only common, it’s completely natural. We’re talking high pressure here. Even people
who are accustomed to competitive golf get nervous. Yet, just because your knees are shaking doesn’t mean
you’re golf game has to be as well. Nervousness makes your body act as if it were preparing for a strenuous
physical activity (The Waverly?). The adrenaline that’s released makes your heart beat faster, causing you to
take in more oxygen. But more oxygen just makes you feel more nervous, so your body releases more
adrenaline. Even though you’ll only be golfing, you now have the strength to run a marathon. Somehow,
you’ll need to control this physical process. Your mind is the most powerful weapon you have for controlling
3
fear and nervousness. In fact, experienced golfers have ways to actually outsmart their nervousness so that it
doesn’t get the best of them. But this is the Waverly and the mind is a wonderful thing. It starts working the
minute you’re born and never stops until you get up to the 1st tee.

It's that time of year again. Safe travel, have fun, enjoy the moment. Looking forward to it.

The Field & Their 97 Handicap:

Rick "Commish" Hakes (20) - Serving fried chicken and watermelon at the Commissioners Dinner.
Greg Poole (14) - Local favorite, handicap is right and knows the courses, if you need directions.
Tom Geshay (10) - Just showing up for the tity bar scene, no chance with that Bo Derek handi.
Larry Ellis (8) - The field darkhorse. Has a certain Lee Trevino style that cajoles opponents.
Woody Brotzmann (TBD) - Wants redemption after finishing higher than Jerry Garcia last year.
Tim Birney (22) - After frosh year, wants to show a little sophmore Waverly wisdom.
Pat "5-O" Horn (22) - Overheard saying “Just give me the plaque.” Wants 3rd championship.
Tim Bardo (8) - Low Gross in 96. Just looking not to vomit all over himself again with 2 holes to play.
Billy "Razor" Gillette (18) - DNF in 96. Can be a player if he can finish. Great stage dancer too.
Marty Kurlich (10) - Has been a bridesmaid lately, wants to wear the white dress this year.
Jim "Jell-O Shot" Cadden (18) - Beantown’s great white hope. Got a taste last year.
Bill "Limousine" Carey (13) - Hoping the in-laws don’t make another untimely visit, enjoying NC life.
Sam "The Bull" Goble (21) - The young buck wants it back, plaque covered a hole in living room wall.
Tom Barnes (TBD) - Good to have the man back! Don’t go winning this thing after a years absence.
Patrick English (26) - Too many distractions; commute, work, kid, criminal court appearances.

Next edition of The Waverly Newsletter: Summer, 1997.

Last issue trivia answer: Can you name the headlining act at Rudy’s Pure Gold on the night of May 17th,
1996? If you said Charlene, tee it up ahead of the markers next time you play.

This issue trivia answer: Fred Couples winning 275 in 1992 was a masterpiece.