A Hard Day's Night: A Lonely Hearts Club Short Story by Elizabeth Eulberg

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by Elizabeth Eulberg

Point
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Authors Note
T h i s H a l lo w e e n

takes place alongside the


events in The Lonely Hearts Club. While this story stands on
its own, for those interested, Halloween would fall before
Chapter 27. The only reminder needed is that at this point,
members of The Lonely Hearts Club arent allowed to date.
Because boys are stupid and such.

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s h o r t s to r y

8/5/14 9:10 AM

ALSO BY ELIZABETH EULBERG


The Lonely Hearts Club
Prom & Prejudice
Take a Bow
Revenge of the Girl with the Great Personality
Better Off Friends

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Copyright 2014 by Elizabeth Eulberg Published by Point, an imprint of Scholastic Inc., Publishers
since 1920. scholastic, point, and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of
Scholastic Inc. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse
engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any
form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without
the express written permission of the publisher. For information regarding permission, write to
Scholastic Inc., Attention: Permissions Department, 557 Broadway, New York, NY 10012.
e-ISBN 978-0-545-79970-6 First edition, October 2014 Book design by Elizabeth B. Parisi

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I, Penny Lane Bloom, hate Halloween.


Okay, maybe hate is a strong word.
I know most people love Halloween,
especially kids. Its all about dressing
up like an animal, a firefighter, a
superhero, or whatever you want. Plus,
the candy! All the candy!
But heres the thing: Halloween isnt
about fun costumes and candy in the
Bloom household.
Nope.
Ive never been allowed to dress
up in whatever costume I wanted.
No way. I have to wear what fits my
parents theme. That theme, without
fail, is always the Beatles. Granted,
they mix things up, and one year
well be Early Beatles and the next
Psychedelic Beatles. Everybody in our
neighborhood loves it. The four of us
open up the door and greet everybody

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with Goo goo gjoob! Were a freak


show you cant look away from. Fitting,
given the holiday.
And I can never have all the candy I
want, either. When your fathers a
dentist, there isnt a huge amount of
sweets allowed in the house. That
doesnt stop us from giving candy
away

Dad

needs

to

keep

his

clientele up
but mixed in with the
normal sugary stuff are tiny toothpaste
samples, sugar-free lollipops, and little
rolls of minty floss. Lame.
Despite my reluctance every year
when October 31 comes around, I
cant help but feel excited about this
year. This year I have The Lonely Hearts
Club. And anything we do as a group
is a blast. Maybe they can turn me into
a Halloween believer.
Crazier things have happened.

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8/12/14 10:47 AM

A Hard Days Night


You know I feel alright...

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G h o s t s . W i t c h e s . Z o m b i e s . Mass murderers.

Those creatures were childs play compared to the monster


stewing in the hallway of our house.
We cant do this, Mom protested angrily. We look
ridiculous!
Mom wasnt referring to the fact that she, Dad, and I were
a rainbow of satin Day-Glo blue, green, and orange military costumes from the cover of Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band album.
Nope, it was because there were only three of us, not four.
Rita has some nerve, Mom (I mean, Sir Paul McCartney)
sulked as she adjusted the silver shoulder tassels on her costume. Rita couldnt make the trip because she had an exam to
study for at Northwestern.
How dare she put higher education before the Beatles.
This was the first year there wouldnt be four of us. Even
though were a family of five, we were never allowed to open
the door as five people. Lucy and Rita used to rotate who got
to sit out each year, since I loved it when I was little and always
insisted on being George Harrison. Until one year I wanted to
be Belle from Beauty and the Beast, which, to put it mildly, did
not go over well. (Mom suggested that I dress up as Benedict
Arnold instead.)
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Dad, who was always the John to her Paul, adjusted his fake
mustache. Now, Becky, remember when the Beatles rehearsed
for their first Ed Sullivan Show appearance? George had the flu.
They had to go on without him.
This isnt a rehearsal. PlusMom pointed at me in my
orange costumeweve got our George.
That isnt the point. He nudged her playfully. It will
still be great. In a couple of years, Penny wont be here and
well have to do with just the two of us. He twirled her
around while serenading her to Two of Us.
I quickly snuck a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup into my mouth
while they were distracted.
The doorbell rang to the familiar tune of Love Me Do as
Mom ordered us to get to our places. I adjusted my orange hat
with a green feather on top of my head and glanced longingly
at the clock. I only had to serve time for two hours, and then
Id be free to hang out with my friends.
Showtime! Mom said as she opened up the door to a
chorus of Trick or treat!
Goo goo g joob!
For two hours we had a steady stream of trick-or-treaters, none
of whom commented on the fact there were only three Beatles
handing out candy. But honestly, we couldve been dressed up
as the Manson family and people wouldnt care. Free candy.
In my room, I donned my second costume and then carefully covered it up with my Sgt. Peppers outfit. Even though I
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was done with my obligations to my parents, they would not


be happy if they knew I was going out dressed up as anything
but a Beatle.
The Lonely Hearts Club was meeting up at the diner in
our costumes before stopping by a haunted house the Student
Council was doing for a fund-raiser. Wed decided that the
Club would have a theme, but it wasnt Beatles related. It was
much, much better.
Fabulous females.
Besides a lack of my own costumes or good candy, another
thing that drove me crazy about Halloween was how some girls
used it as an excuse to dress up in as little clothing as possible.
Sexy Nurse, Sexy Teacher, Sexy Nunnotice a theme? Are
they really dressing up in a bra and hot pants for themselves?
Of course not! It was always for a guy. Or to get attention
from a guy.
We were so above that.
Our costumes would be positive role models for girls.
See you later! I called out to my parents as I dashed
down the stairs and opened the front door. I waved at Tracy
in her waiting car, but lost my balance as I slid on something
and fell flat on my butt.
Are you okay? Dad rushed over to me.
My hands and shiny pants were covered in pumpkin guts.
Our pumpkins, which had been intact all during trick-ortreating, were smashed and smeared across the front stoop.
Not the Abbey Road one! Mom knelt down to examine
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the damage done to the pumpkin with the outline from the
Abbey Road cover.
Dont worry, Mom, your baby daughter is okay. I scowled
at her as I hauled myself back up onto my feet.
That was super graceful, Pen. Tracy walked up the
driveway.
Tracy! Mom exclaimed upon seeing my best friend. I
cant believe I didnt think of this before. We shouldve asked
you to be the fourth!
Shes still on this?
Mom, I warned her as we went inside to the kitchen so I
could clean up the mess.
Oh, no! Mom tugged at my pants. They ripped.
There was a two-inch tear on my right side where I landed.
Wait a second. Mom dug her finger into the hole. What
are you wearing underneath?
Busted.
Ah, its cold out, so I thought Id wear jeans. I gripped my
bag tighter, not wanting my contraband to be discovered.
Mom studied Tracys outfit: green cargo pants, black hooded
jacket, and hair pulled back in a fancy braid. Who are you
dressed as?
Katniss Everdeen, Tracy said as she turned around and
struck a pose. My bow and arrows are in my car.
Great. What the world needs is for Tracy Larson to be armed with a
deadly weapon.
Thats nice, Mom said, although it was clear that shed
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been living under a Beatles-sized rock and had no idea what


Tracy was talking about.
Yeah, Tracy continued, were all dressing up as strong,
awesome women. Although is there any other kind of woman?
Boys, on the other hand, are all stupid and silly. No offense,
Dr. Bloom.
None taken, Dad chuckled as he headed outside with a
broom.
What do you mean youre all dressing up as strong
women? Mom asked.
Armed or not, Tracy was going to pay for this.
Mom. I held my bag even tighter. The Club is waiting
for us. We cant be late.
Whats in your bag? Mom eyed me suspiciously.
Nothing, just homework, I lied.
Penny Lane. She held out her hand.
There was no avoiding it.
Fine. I pulled down my pants and took my jacket off.
I was wearing a dark blue button-down shirt tucked into a
matching pair of jeans that were cuffed, paired with black
hiking boots. I took a red handkerchief with white dots out of
my bag and tied it around my head. I then held up the blue
sign with We Can Do It! in white lettering above my head
as I flexed my right arm. Im going as Rosie the Riveter.
Rosie the Riveter was most likely going to go over the heads
of most of my fellow McKinley High School students, but she
was a cultural symbol during World War II, representing all
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of the women who worked in factoriesmany of whom took


the jobs of men who were in the military. She was the ultimate
feminist icon.
But by the look on Moms face, I might as well have dressed
up as Hitler.
If you wanted to dress up as a strong woman, you couldve
dressed up as Linda McCartney. Id have even tolerated Yoko
Ono. She scrunched up her nose begrudgingly. But really,
Penny
Dad walked in with a dustpan full of pumpkin goo. What
a mess. Who would do such a thing? Hey! He lit up when he
saw me. Rosie the Riveter!
We should get going. I took Tracy by the hand and
tugged her toward the car. This was the best time to get out of
my moms way (and tirade).
Tracy and I carefully stepped over the mess on our front stoop.
I cant believe someone would do this, I said, feeling bad
for my parents, who put so much work into their pumpkins.
Has it ever happened before? Tracy asked as she got into
the drivers seat of her car.
No. Even though Halloween was often a time when
houses were egged or toilet papered, we never had a problem in
our neighborhood. Parkview was a relatively safe town.
Well, dont worry. Tracy gestured to the backseat at her
quiver full of arrows. If we find out who did this, Ill take
care of it.
Now I was worried.
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It had only been two months since I came up with the idea for
The Lonely Hearts Club. Originally it was just something I
did for myself, a way to get over Nate Taylor, my former childhood crush and boyfriend who decided that dating me wasnt
enough. I caught him cheating on me. I felt used. I was devastated. My heart was broken. My solution? Put my friends and
myself first. Oh, and stop dating boys entirely while in high
school because they are so not worth the trouble. Never did I
think that anybody would want to join me.
Then Diane Monroe came along.
Diane used to be my best friend. We went way back. Like,
we were in diapers when we became friends. Yep, youd think
that kind of friendship could withstand anything. But not
when it came to guys. As soon as Diane started dating Ryan
Bauer in eighth grade, she became that girl who gave up her
friends when she had a boyfriend. So it didnt really surprise
me that much when she wanted to rekindle our friendship
after they broke up this summer. Of course she wanted me
back; she didnt have a boyfriend anymore. But I was hurt
from the horrific summer Id had, and Tracy (who had a case
of the boy-crazies herself) refused to understand why I would
choose to not date. So I let Diane in. And Tracy finally caved.
From there, the Club steadily grew. A few new members
here, a sophomore or a girl from Spanish class there. A couple
of weeks ago, our school paper, the McKinley Monitor, featured
an article on the front page about the Club. A revolution had
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started and now every Saturday, the Club meetings have gotten
bigger and bigger.
Sure, there were some people who thought we were crazy
(mostly the guys at school, especially Todd Chesney). But
what did we care? They were silly, little boys, and we were
women forging real relationships: friendships.
A smile spread across my face when I opened the door to
the diner to see twenty girls who have quickly become a second family.
Its our fearless leader! Morgan, dressed as punk legend
Patti Smith, called out to me.
Yes, it is I, I said with a dramatic rolling of my eyes. I
always felt uncomfortable being pegged the leader of the
group, even if I was the one who had formed the Club.
Diane got up from her seat to give me a hug. She looked as
gorgeous as ever, even with a baseball hat covering the pin curls
I knew had taken hours. The entire basketball team decided to
dress as the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League
players from the 1940s. I ordered you cheese fries.
You rock, you Rockford Peach. Even though we basically
hadnt spoken for four years, Diane still knew the way to my
heart (which is always through my stomach).
Tracy. Kara, her hair teased beyond recognition, pointed
her wand at Tracy. I believe we need to do a duel of the young
adult book characters.
Tracy placed her hands on her hips. Yeah, Hermione,
because your wand is a match for my arrow. Lets do this thing.
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Erin, dressed up as Eighties Madonna, and Kara both


gasped and stood up quickly. Their jaws were almost on the
floor.
Guys, dont worry, theyre not going to actually fight. At
least I hoped not. Tracy wasnt one to back down from challenges, even ones made in jest.
Oh my God! Erins gaze was over my shoulder. Are
you okay?
I turned around to see what the fuss was about.
It was Amy, covered head to toe in shaving cream and
dressed in what used to be a Harriet the Spy costume.
My outfit! she cried as we all got up to help her. I shouldve
used my flashlight to bash those little punks heads in.
What happened? I asked as I wiped clumps of cream off
her raincoat. At least that was coming off easily. Her hair was
going to be a different matter.
I was walking down the street and saw a group of middleschool boys coming toward me. A little voice in my head said
to cross the street, but thats ridiculous. Why should I be worried about a bunch of kids? Her voice wavered. Then as
soon as I went to go around them, they circled me and started
laughing while they doused me with shaving cream.
Im so sorry. I patted her back.
Yeah, but there is a bright side, Amy said, looking
directly at Erin. Your brother was one of the kids.
That little punk. Erins eyes narrowed. How dare he
attack one of my friends! Oh, he is going to pay for this.
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What are you going to do? Morgan asked, her fists


tightly clenched.
May I make a suggestion? Tracys lips were curled into
her troublemaking smirk. As a connoisseur in the art of
revenge, I think its a dish best served en masse.
While we had official rules for The Lonely Hearts Club,
there was one that didnt need to be written down. It was
understood.
You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.
The high school parking lot was full of cars and people in
costumes on their way to the haunted house.
Isnt this great? Diane remarked. Student Council was one
of the many school organizations Diane took part in. She was
just the insider we needed to pull this off.
We got out of Tracys car and waited for the other members to arrive.
Well, well, well... a voice called out from a few cars
away. Let me guess, youre dressed up as...a lesbian?
I didnt need to turn around to know that it was Todd.
Wait, no, he recanted. A mechanic...
whos also a
lesbian.
Todd believed that every girl in the Club had to be a lesbian because he couldnt fathom why any girl would choose to
be single when he was available. It was honestly shocking that
he hadnt turned any of us off to the male species altogether.

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Wow, Todd, I said with forced sweetness, how original.


I see you dressed up as an imbecile.
He scoffed and gestured down to his Chicago Bears sweatshirt and jeans. I dont have a costume on.
Exactly.
He furrowed his eyebrows trying to figure out what I
mustve meant, but quickly gave up and went back to talking
to his standard group: Brian and Don, with their respective
girlfriends, Pam and Audrey. The word respective was only
in reference to which girl dated which guy, since, by their outfits, there was absolutely no respect going on. Pam was dressed
as a referee in black hot pants and a black-and-white shirt
that was buttoned so far down you could see her black bra. I
wasnt entirely sure what Audrey was dressed as, since she had
cropped jean shorts and a red-and-black plaid shirt tied up
so her midriff was exposed. And its the end of October. In
Illinois.
Stay classy, ladies.
Lets wait inside, Diane suggested as we made our way
past the cars.
I wouldnt bother, Todd called out. Its lame.
Tracy kept walking, but Diane stopped short for a second.
As with everything she did, Diane put in a lot of work designing and decorating the haunted house. She spent hours all
week after school and was only able to meet us for dinner that
night because she needed a break.

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I turned back around and approached Todd, who was sitting on the bumper of his truck.
You know, ToddI crossed my armswhile I normally would take your word for it since youre an expert in all
things lame, I I became distracted by something sticking
out of the bed of Todds truck: a baseball bat that had pumpkin seeds stuck to it. I grabbed it to examine it closer.
Hey! Todd jumped up and reached his hand out.
Thats mine!
Funny, I said as I began to twirl the bat around, I
think something just like this bashed in the pumpkins at my
house.
There was snickering from the peanut gallery (aka Todds
friends). I maneuvered around Todd to face them all. They
started to spread out.
Come on, guys, Don said with a smirk on his face. What
is she going to do with a bat? Seriously?
What? I taunted him by pretending to line up for a
pitch. You dont think I know how to use this thing?
Yeah, right, Todd scoffed. He held his hands up and pretended to quiver. Im so scared of a girl.
They all began to laugh as I moved to the front of Todds
truck. The headlights were illuminating my profile as I bent
my knees and starting taking small practice swings. You know,
Todd, you should never underestimate a girl, especially one
who grew up in a household where her dad didnt have any
sons to play baseball with.
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In truth, my father wasnt really into sports. Unless marathon viewing of Beatles movies counted as a sporting event.
But Todd didnt know that (among many, many other things).
I moved nearer to Todds headlight and swung the bat
closer and closer.
Come on, Penny, we were just fooling around, he said,
desperation seeping into his voice.
Gee, thats exactly what Im doing. I planted my feet,
held the bat above my shoulders, and shifted my weight as I
swung the baseball bat hard toward Todds right headlight.
No! Todd shrieked, his voice high.
I stopped the bat mere centimeters away from the light,
and then let it drop to the pavement. I guess the difference
between us is that when I fool around, I dont hurt anybody or
their property. Lets go, guys.
Tracy, Diane, and I walked away from a distraught Todd
and headed inside the school.
One down, four to go.
Hey, Ryan! Diane greeted her ex-boyfriend, who was manning the ticket counter. I was still amazed at how theyd been
able to remain friends after they broke up. They both genuinely wished the other well.
The only thing I hoped for Nate Taylor was a slow and
painful death.
What up, Bauer? Tracy gave him a small nod. Are you
dressed up as a monk?
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Ryan wore a cream-colored long-sleeve tunic and pants. He


reached down and pulled out a lightsaber. Luke Skywalker.
Katie wanted to be Princess Leiacomplete with the side
buns. He smiled broadly and I had to look away. It was
pretty adorable. Katie was Ryans eight-year-old stepsister. It
was pretty adorable.
Of course, I couldnt have said any of that. Things with
Ryan and me were...tense. We went on a something or other
on Thursday. It wasnt a date, since I wasnt allowed to go on a
date, but Ive been uncomfortable around him ever since. Instead
of responding, I decided to pretend to be interested in all the
costumes that passed us.
Fortunately, the other members started trickling in after
successfully completing their given tasks. I took a few steps
away from Hilary and her moving duffel bag. Amy was the
last to arrive, her face in zombie makeup, the rest of her outfit
slightly disheveled.
Ready? Diane asked us.
Um, is there something I should know? Ryan asked warily.
Nothing you need to worry about, Diane explained.
Weve got something to sort out. Actually, we could use your
help with one thing. Diane leaned down and whispered into
Ryans ear. I was waiting for him to protest, but he wrote down
his instructions and gave Diane a resolute nod.
And with that we were off.
There were four young punks in need of a lesson on how to
treat a lady.
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The haunted house was set up in the gym. It consisted of different rooms spread throughout the floor. Each room featured
a specific spooky creature or theme: a cemetery, mazes where
creatures would jump out, chainsaw sounds, and the like.
However, Erins brother and his friends would be getting a
private tour of another room exclusively set up for them: the
girls locker room.
Diane glanced at her phone. That was Ryan. Theyre here.
We all got into our places. It was up to Jen, who was also
in Student Council, to guide them from the cemetery to the
locker room. We waited patiently for the door to open.
This is so stupid, a voice came from outside the door.
Oh, okay, the girls room. Scaaary!
The door opened. Jen (who was covered up with a black
robe and skeleton mask) stretched an arm out, and four boys
stepped inside.
It was pitch-black in the locker room, save for the flickering of an overhead light in the corner.
Nobody moved for a couple of minutes. The guys began
shifting back and forth on their heels, waiting for something
to happen.
This was the part of scary movies that always unnerved me,
the quiet before something jumped out of the dark. It was the
anticipation that was the worst part.
We should go, one of them said, but when he reached for
the door, it wouldnt open. He yanked harder on it. Its locked.
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Let me try. Another pushed him out of the way. The


door wouldnt budge.
A shadowy figure began to approach them.
Ah, guys! Erins brother, Danny, exclaimed when he saw
the figure getting closer and closer.
A menacing voice began to echo off the concrete walls.
Danny Fitzgerald, I know what you did this evening. I know what you all
did this evening.
Dude, howd it know your name? one of the boys asked a
shocked Danny.
We should get out of here. Danny pulled harder on the
door handle.
STOP! The voice commanded. It was deep with a slight
reverb to it, thanks to the voice modulator on Erins karaoke
machine.
Kara jumped out in front of them wearing a black robe and
the mask from Screamwhich was exactly what Danny did.
Hed watched that movie with Erin a couple of years ago and
was terrified of the white face mask with the openmouthed
expression.
Hilary was next to approach him, wearing all black, including a ski mask. She kept her hands behind her back until she
was close to the four who were now leaning against the wall.
She was only inches away when she pulled her arms forward, and
the guys squirmed at the sight of the snake that was wrapped
around her wrist. (Hilarys brother had a pet ball python, a

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fact that Hilary had kept secret, as I was positive most of us


wouldve wisely refused to come over to her house.)
At that cue, the rest of us started rhythmically banging on
the benches on the other side of the lockers, which were partially hidden from view.
Prepare for the sacrifice, Erins disguised voice boomed.
Another cloaked figure (Tracy) held up Mr. Bubbles,
Dannys stuffed monkey. He still slept with the toy, but only
Erin and their parents (and now the Club) knew that.
What? How did you get that? Danny protested. Hey!
Youre not supposed to touch us! he shrieked as Kara and
Hilary grabbed the boys by their arms and pulled them farther into the locker room.
The banging of the benches, and now lockers, continued to
echo around the room, further unnerving our captives. Tracy
held out a (fake) knife and placed the stuffed monkey on the
floor.
What the hell is that? one of Dannys friends asked. He
laughed at the end, but it was one of those forced laughs that
revealed how nervous he really was.
Tracy dramatically lifted the knife in the air above the
monkey.
What are you doing? Dannys voice was at a near panic.
What do you want? Do you want candy? Money? He nervously began emptying his pockets. Ive got...like, five dollars.
You cant do this. Please. If you hurt him, Im going to tell!

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Tracy raised her arm higher and started to bring the knife
down, when a different voice from the modulator called out,
NO! It was a voice, low, near a whisper, that personified evil.
Leave him to me.
I turned on a flashlight to illuminate Amys back. She
began to shuffle toward them like an extra on The Walking Dead.
You know what you did to this poor girl, Erins original scary
voice growled out. And now you will pay.
Dannys eyes darted to Amy. I dont know what youre
talking about. We didnt do anything. We didnt It was as
if a lightbulb went on in Dannys head. Oh God, Im sorry. Im
so sorry, okay? I didnt want to do it, it...it was Barrys idea!
Hey! The kid who I assumed was Barry began backing away.
ENOUGH! the voice snapped. Get down on your knees. All
of you.
The four looked at one another with a combined mix of
terror and denial. Danny quickly got on his knees and urged the
others to follow. Nothing can happen to Mr. Bubbles, okay?
Mr. Bubbles? One of his friends snickered.
NOW!
The others quickly followed suit and got on the floor.
ONE...T WO... All four had their shoulders pressed up
to their ears. THREE!
The lights went on. Erin was standing in front of her brother.
Youre going to be in so much trouble when we get home.

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Wait, what? Her brother looked around in a daze as he


quickly found himself surrounded by The Lonely Hearts Club.
You attacked one of my friends and you didnt think I was
going to do something about it?
Amy gave a wave. Remember me?
But first, payback. Erin smiled as she, Amy, Kara, and Jen
smashed a raw egg on the head of each boy. Thats what you
get for being jerks.
Danny tried to protest, but Erin yanked him up by the
arm, yolk oozing down his forehead. Save it for Dad. Im taking you all home and having a little chat with your parents.
The four boys reluctantly followed her out, to the cheers
from the group.
Mission accomplished! Diane said with a little too much
enthusiasm for someone who was always bound by the rules.
But since we werent complete rule breakers, we did stay to
help clean up the locker room, and Diane roped most of us
into helping the Student Council dismantle the haunted house
at the end of the night. We enjoyed reminiscing about the
shocked looks on the boys faces and their high-pitched shrieks
of terror.
Come on, Pen. Tracy looked at me with a satisfied smirk
as we made our way back to her car. Even youve got to admit
that Halloween was pretty fun this year.
Yes, I conceded without an ounce of reluctance. I never
thought so, but you guys made a believer out of me.

19

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Um, yeah. Tracy bumped my hip. The Lonely Hearts


Club makes everything better.
Tracy was right.
Rosie the Riveter was right, too: We can do it. And we did.
We could accomplish anything if we were together.
Especially putting silly boys in their place.

20

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Keep reading for a special sneak peek of

We Can Work It Out, a return to the characters of


The Lonely Hearts Club from romantic comedy
superstar Elizabeth Eulberg!

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8/26/14 10:55 AM

One
It

could change.
It was only six months ago that I thought I was in love with
one of my closest friends since birth.
Five months since I had my heart trounced on by the lying,
cheating dirtbag.
Four months since I started The Lonely Hearts Club as its
sole member.
Which means four months since everything changed.
I went from someone with a small handful of close friends
to a person with nearly thirty girls who would have my back if
I ever needed them (which I often did). There were some people who looked up to me because I stood up for my friends
and myself. And, of course, that also meant I was openly ridiculed by other people for going against the grain.
It was all worth it.
And now it had been one month since Id started dating
Ryan. Well, technically, twenty-two days since our first date
not like I was counting or anything. (Okay, I kind of was.)
While I knew that no two relationships were ever the same,
I hadnt realized, at first, how different Ryan was from every
other guy Id dated. Although in hindsight, what I had with
those guys (more like immature little boys) couldnt really be
wa s a m a z i n g h o w q u i c k ly t h i n g s

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called relationships. There were trips to the movies and pizzas


eaten, but that was about it. It was more about having someone to walk down the hallways with, someone to eat lunch
with, someone to kill time with after school. Insecurity blankets. None of it ever felt real.
Being with Ryan was different. I wanted to be with Ryan
because of who he was, not because he was a boyfriend. And
Ryan wanted to be with me for me, not because there was a
vacancy for the role of Ryan Bauers Girlfriend. We liked
spending time with each other. It was mutual.
Well, maybe not everything was entirely mutual...
Come on, Penny, its not a big deal. Ryan reached out his
hand impatiently. All couples do it.
While I didnt have as much experience being in a relationship as Ryan, I knew I wasnt overreacting.
Ryan was wrong.
This was a big step.
One that I wasnt sure I was ready for.
Maybe other couples did it all the time, but I wasnt prepared to make such a commitment so soon. Wed only been
going out for a few weeks. I didnt want to rush into anything.
There were certain things you couldnt take back.
A smile slowly crept over his face, his blue eyes sparkling
with mischief. Okay, I know how to convince you.
He stepped a few inches away from me as if he needed lots
of space for whatever he was preparing to do. He cleared his

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throat, gave me one more crooked grin before he started clapping rhythmically. Clap, clap. Clap. Clap, clap. Clap.
Then in front of the entire food court at the mall, Ryan
began singing at the top of his lungs, Oh yeah, Ill tell you something, I think youll understand... People began to look over to
where we were standing, but Ryan was undeterred. He continued to sing even though he had proven on more than one
occasion that he couldnt carry a tune. Sure he was everything
a girl could want in a guybut he was also apparently incapable of being embarrassed.
I, on the other hand, wanted to hide behind the mall directory so no one could see my flaming-red face. I knew there
was only one way to get him to stop.
Fine! I relented. I grabbed his hand and entwined our
fingers. Happy?
He was grinning ear to ear. Yes, very happy. Oh, how I
love the Beatles.
Yeah, theyd be so proud. I began to drag him away from
the scene of the musical crime. There was no point in telling
him that the Beatles hadnt gotten him his wayit was my
fear of causing a scene that made me cave. It wasnt that I
didnt want to hold Ryans hand...but being out in the open
as a couple felt too exposed.
Only a few short weeks ago, Id been the one telling girls
not to date, that all guys were lying, cheating scum of the
earth. And while some of them were (hello, dirtbag Nate
Taylor), Ryan was wonderful. Public embarrassments aside.

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The Lonely Hearts Club had caused such a ruckus at


McKinley High that I didnt want it to appear that I was
backing down by being with Ryan. The Club was the best
thing that had happened to me in high school, and I didnt
want anything to mess that up. And I was well aware of how
much a guy could mess things up.
We turned the corner to head up the escalators to the movie
theater, when I spotted a few of my fellow Lonely Hearts Club
members coming down.
Pen! Tracy waved at us, and Jen and Morgan perked up
behind her.
I instinctively let go of Ryans hand as they made their way
over to us.
Hey. Tracy hugged me, and her dirty-blond ponytail
lightly brushed my cheek. She then turned to Ryan. Bauer,
she said solemnly.
Howre you doing, Tracy? he said cheerfully, clearly
wanting to get in good with my best friend. He already had
her approvalshe was partially responsible for us finally
getting togetherbut with Tracy you wanted to get as far
on her good side as possible.
Tracy made a show of looking him up and down. Im
doing great, obvs. Got my girls, saw a movie, not dealing with
the man. What could possibly be better?
Ah... Ryan had no idea what to say next.
I interceded. What are you guys up to now? Ryan and I were
just...um, I saw him I stopped myself, not quite believing

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that Id been about to make up a story of why Ryan and I were


together. I didnt know why I felt like I had to watch what I was
saying. These girls were practically my family, and Id known
Ryan for years. I shouldve been comfortable having us all be
together, but I wasnt used to being The Girl Who Now Dates,
especially with the girls Id spent nearly every Saturday last
semester with, comparing notes on the evil things guys could do.
Ill tell you what were up to. Jen patted her stomach.
Food. Lots of food.
Tracy could sense I was uncomfortable. She tilted her head
slightly. Well, we should get goingtheres a cinnamon bun
with my name on it somewhere in the vicinity. Have fun...
but not too much fun.
Oh, we wont, I promised her. Ryan poked my side in
protest. How could anybody have fun without you around?
Exactly! Tracy replied. See, Pen, you get me. You. Get.
Me. She pounded her first lightly against her chest. The group
started walking away, but Tracy stood her ground. Remember,
Bauer. She held up two fingers to her eyes, then turned them
on Ryan. Ive got my eyes on you. She laughed maniacally
while linking arms with Jen and Morgan as the three of them
walked away.
You know shes only teasing, I reminded Ryan.
He ran his fingers through his dark wavy hair. Yeah, I
know. Usually, guys have to worry about making a good
impression on their girlfriends parents, but Ive also got to get
the blessing of over twenty girls. No pressure.

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He used the word girlfriend with such ease, as though it was


completely clear what we were doing.
It wasnt quite as clear to me. But at the same time, I liked
that he used the word without hesitation, unafraid to commit to me.
I grabbed his hand again as we got on the escalator. Come
on, the Club loves you, I assured him. You know how happy
they were when we started dating.
Yeah, I do, he replied with a gentle squeeze of my hand.
And for your information, my moms thrilled were together
because it means she has an automatic babysitter on Saturday.
One of the rules of the Club was that we had to have our
meetings on Saturday nights, which wasnt really a big deal.
Ryan and I would go out on Fridaysand sometimes we
spent Sundays together if the Club wasnt up to anything.
Neither of us minded.
Tracys laugh echoed up the escalators. I looked back and
saw them all giggling at something.
Ryan studied my face as I watched my friends go off without me.
Do you want to go hang out with them? he asked.
No, its fine. Although I had to admit I felt a slight sting
that I hadnt been included in their girls day out.
He wrapped his arm around me as we stepped off the escalator. Youre a horrible liar.
I am? I leaned into him. Hey, Ryan?
Yes, Miss Penny Lane?

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I exaggeratedly batted my eyelashes at him. Youre a really


good singer.
He tickled my stomach, which caused me to respond with a
loud shriek. A couple walking in front of us turned around.
Before I could protest further, Ryan pulled me in tight and
kissed me on the forehead.
Instead of pulling away like I had before, I leaned in even
closer. Despite my pangs of jealousy, I knew that I needed to
focus more on the here and now. And right there and then, I
knew there was nowhere else I wanted to be, and no one else
I wanted to spend my Sunday with.

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E l i z a b e t h E u l b e r g is the author of The Lonely Hearts Club,

Prom & Prejudice, Take a Bow, Revenge of the Girl with the Great
Personality, and Better Off Friends. You can find her on the web at
www.elizabetheulberg.com

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SMART and FUNNY


novels youll love from

ELIZABETH EULBERG

SCHOLASTIC and associated logos are trademarks


and/or registered trademarks of Scholastic Inc.

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thisisteen.com/books

EULBERG5e

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