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HYPNOSIS : 40 AUGUST 2013 TRANCE : 2

HYPNOTIQUE
40
Years
FOR PRIVATE CIRCULATION ONLY
HYPNOTIQUE CIRCLES 40
TH
ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS
Hypnotique Circles 40th Anniversary Celebrations was an
ABSOLUTE success in every way! The speakers were brilliant,
the presentations were awesome and the participants were treated
to a lot of very powerful insights. Knowledge was disseminated,
transformation was triggered and new friendships were kindled. If you
were at the conference, THANK YOU! It wouldnt have been possible
without all of your wholehearted support, infectious enthusiasm and
active participation.
Those of you who have missed out, you can always take heart. As
is our wont, Hypnotique Circle is equally concerned about sharing the
knowledge to you too. We have lined up ten speakers given below,
who will be capturing the gist of each of the sessions in our August
meeting. Two of the presentations are also carried in this bulletin. So,
Happy Learning.
Mr. Arun Kumar - Brand Called YOU
Ms. Rajanisree - Change and Challenge
Ms. Ananthi Karthic - Wonders of Hypnotherapy
Dr. T.M. Perumal - Stress and Heart
Ms. Soshina - Resetting your Marital Compass
Mr. Muthiah Ramanathan - Oddmen or Godmen
Major V V Narayanan - Impact of Media on Social Behaviour
Dr. C.N. Ramgopal - Breakthrough Thinking
Ms. Abi Sankari - Are Marks that Important ?
Ms. Swarna - Are todays Youth on the right path ?
Mr.V.Karthik will be the panel head and preside over the
deliberations.
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THE HYPNOTIQUE CIRCLE
MADRAS
40
Years
Block S-27 C, Rainbow Flats, Ponnambalam Salai, K K Nagar, Chennai 78
LIVING BIG BY JOSH HINDS
People often ask me what it means to Live BIG.
It is simple really...
Living BIG gets down to making the decision to live by
Your choice, over chance, more often than not.
Heres a practical step you can do everyday that will ensure
youre doing just that.
Action plan:
At the end of each day take 5 minutes to reconnect with what
you want to accomplish. What is it you truly desire? Write down
three things you can do the next day which upon completion will
move you forward towards your accomplishment. Then, the next
day do those things. Consistency is the key that makes this work
so at the end of each day repeat the plan. In no time fat youll
amaze yourself with the progress youre making. Action brings
your wants & desires into reality.
Remember, you were comfortable before change and you will
also be comfortable after change. Only, the transition phase will
be a bit uncomfortable. But you shouldnt mind it if you want to
make it big. So, exercise your choice, act and move on. Success
and happiness are waiting around the corner.
Its Your Life, LIVE BIG.
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RESETTING MARITAL COMPASS AT 360 DEGREES
(Gist of presentation made by Ms. Brinda Jayaraman)
Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private
intention. says Ian Hay
By all means marry; If you get a good wife (husband) you
will become happy; If you get a bad one you will become a
philosopher. - Socrates
According to Dr. Everett Shostrum, in his Couples Model
there are 7 varieties.
(1) Daddy- Doll (2) Mother- Son (3) Master- Slave
(4) Nagging- Nice (5) Hawks (6) Doves (7) Self Actualizing
The edifce of Marriage is raised on the foundation of
Love and Trust. Four pillars are fxed on the foundation,
viz. Emotional, Social, Sexual and Financial. Over these, the
VALUES, BELIEFS & ATTITUDES of the couple are built which
leads to marital harmony.
The Emotional need is the prime important need. I belong to
the partner, I feel signifcant in the partners life, is every ones
need. If the basic need is not met the partner tries to gratify them
through misbehaviour.
The couple play different roles in marriage.
Husband/Wife Son/Daughter Father / Mother In law
Friend Employer / Employee
There are 3 types of family
1. Disengaged
In this family set up I is very predominant. Families have
too little cohesion, and members have limited attachment or
commitment to one another, Individual growth happens but
not collectively as family.
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2. Enmeshed
An enmeshed family refers to a type of family in which family
members are too closely knit together that even old siblings
heavily rely on their parents. This denies the members room
for individual growth and independence.
3. Balanced Family
In the Balanced Family, Trust and Respect are of utmost focus.
People act as a situational leader .Problem is focussed not on
people, but only on person. Every individual and the family grows
in this relationship.
In relationship there will be individual values, family values,
Social, Cultural and Universal Values. It is important to be aware
of and respect the value systems.
Recipe for a Happy Married Life
Commitment
To be Non-Judgemental
Emotion Management
Anger management
Effective communication
Assertive & Transparent
An oriental saying:
Where the vision is one year, cultivate fowers;
Where the vision is ten years,cultivate trees;
Where the vision is eternity, cultivate people.
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BRAND CALLED YOU
(Excerpts from the presentation of
Mr. Milind Jadhav, Life Skills Coach)
Brands are defned by their imagery
Brands exist in peoples minds
Brands are built consistently over time
Brands are immortal
Personal Branding is about..
Creating an identity for yourself
Expressing that identity
We live in an age of abundance.. And an age of chaos!
If you stand for something, there will be somebody for you
and somebody against you. If you stand for nothing, there will be
nobody for you and nobody against you.
The Personal Branding Process
A) Your Personal Brand must give more in value than it takes in
payment.
Some ways to create value
1. Excellence
Apply the flter of excellence to everything you do in
your profession
2. Consistency
The world is full of uncertainty
Continuous change
People look for stability
3. Attention
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4. Empathy
Putting yourself in the other persons shoes
5. Appreciation
The word appreciate comes from the Latin word
appretiare, which means to set a price to
When you appreciate people, you appreciate.
When you dont, you depreciate.
$ 106 billion IBM, $ 156 billion Apple Inc, $ 226 billion
Toyota. They touch millions of lives!
B) Your Personal Brand must reach out to as many people as
possible. Creating a strong Personal Brand is a matter of
IMPACT. Influence creates Affluence, not the other way
round.
C) Your Personal Brands influence is determined by how
abundantly you place other peoples interests frst.
Often, our focus is on expanding the network so that one day
we can LEVERAGE it.
The Law of 250
The legendary automobile salesman Joe Girard, hailed by
the Guinness Book of World Records as the greatest salesman
ever, coined the Law of 250, which says that on average, every
person has 250 people who would show up at his/her funeral.
He said that if you treat a person poorly, you would have lost
infuence over not just that one person but on a potential 250 more
people.
This multiplies the impact of your personal brand
If you Win then I Win. Givers attract. Giving magnetizes you.
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Change What have people in my network done for me
lately?
To What have I done for people in my network lately?
Be the right person
D) The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
Shift from IMPRESS to EXPRESS. Be Real.Be Yourself.
Authenticity creates miracles!
Sometimes, to add value, all you have to do is add yourself..
Their giving is our receiving, and our giving is their receiving.
Its not better to give than to receive. Its insane to try to give
and not receive.
E) Keep your Personal Brand open to receiving
Create Value Touch peoples lives Build networks
Be Real Stay Open
HOW TO CHANGE MINDS: 20 PERSUASION TRICKS
Perfection is hard to achieve in any walk of life and persuasion
is no different. It relies on many things going just right at the crucial
moment; the perfect synchronisation of source, message and
audience. But even if perfection is unlikely, we all need to know
what to aim for.
Here are the most important points for crafting the perfect
persuasive message, all of which have scientifc evidence to back
them up.
1. Multiple, strong arguments: the more arguments, the more
persuasive, but overall persuasive messages should be balanced,
as two-sided arguments fare better than their one-sided equivalents
(as long as counter-arguments are shot down).
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2. Relevance: persuasive messages should be personally
relevant to the audience. If not, they will switch off and fail to
process it.
3. Universal goals: In creating your message, understand
the three universal goals for which everyone is aiming: affliation,
accuracy and positive self-concept.
4. Likeability: ingratiating yourself with the audience is no bad
thingmost successful performers, actors, lawyers and politicians
do it. Likeability can be boosted by praising the audience and by
perceived similarity. Even the most feeting similarities can be
persuasive.
5. Authority: people tend to defer to experts because it saves
us trying to work out the pros and cons ourselves.
6. Attractiveness: the physical attractiveness of the source is
only important if it is relevant (e.g. when selling beauty products).
7. Match message and medium: One useful rule of thumb is:
if the message is diffcult to understand, write it; if its easy, put it
in a video.
8. Avoid forewarning: dont open up saying I will try and
persuade you that... If you do, people start generating counter-
arguments and are less likely to be persuaded.
9. Go slow: If the audience is already sympathetic, then present
the arguments slowly and carefully (as long as they are relevant
and strong). If the audience is against you then fast talkers can
be more persuasive.
10. Repetition: whether or not a statement is true, repeating it
a few times gives the all-important illusion of truth. The illusion of
truth leads to the reality of persuasion.
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11. Social proof: youve heard it before and youll hear it
againdespite all their protestations of individuality, people love
conformity. So tell them which way the fock is going because
people want to be in the majority.
12. Attention: if the audience isnt paying attention, they cant
think about your arguments, so attitudes cant change. Thats
why anything that sharpens attention, like caffeine, makes people
easier to persuade.
13. Minimise distraction: if youve got a strong message then
audiences are more swayed if they pay attention. If the arguments
are weak then its better if theyre distracted.
14. Positively framed: messages with a positive frame can be
more persuasive.
15. Disguise: messages are more persuasive if they dont
appear to be intended to persuade or infuence as they can sidestep
psychological reactance (hence the power of overheard arguments
to change minds).
16. Psychologically tailored: messages should match the
psychological preferences of the audience. E.g. some people
prefer thinking-framed arguments and others prefer feel-framed
arguments. Also, some people prefer to think harder than others.
17. Go with the fow: persuasion is strongest when the message
and audience are heading in the same direction. Thoughts which
come into the audiences mind more readily are likely to be more
persuasive.
18. Confdence: not only your confdence, but theirs. The
audience should feel confdent about attitude change. Audience
confdence in their own thoughts is boosted by a credible source
when they feel happy (clue: happy audiences are laughing).
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19. Be powerful: a powerful orator infuences the audience,
but making the audience themselves feel powerful increases their
confdence in attitude change. An audience has to feel powerful
enough to change.
20. Avoid targeting strong beliefs: strong attitudes and beliefs
are very diffcult to change. Do not directly approach long-standing
ideas to which people are committed, they will resist and reject.
Strong beliefs must be approached indirectly.
How to Change Minds
You should be aware that many of the above factors interact
with each other. For example when the message is strong but the
source is dodgy, the sleeper effect can arise.
Argument strength is also critical. The basic principle is that
when arguments are strong, you need to do everything to make
people concentrate on them. When theyre weak, its all about
distracting the audience from the content and using peripheral
routes to persuade, such as how confdently or quickly you talk.
Weaving all these together is no mean feat, but look at most
professionally produced persuasive messages and youll see many
of these principles on show. Incorporate as many as you can for
maximum effect.
GESTALT PRAYER (FRITZ PERLS, 1969)
I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we fnd each other,
its beautiful.
If not, it cant be helped.
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LESSONS FROM Mr. N.R. NARAYANA MURTHY
Seize Your Gandhi Moment
Murthy, a self proclaimed socialist in the mid 70s was jailed for 72
hours in Bulgaria. The experience taught him that entrepreneurship
and job creation is the way to alleviate poverty.
You might fail, but get started
Learn from mistakes and move on. In 1976, Murthy founded
Softronics, a company that lasted a year and a half. When he
realised that his frst venture wasnt taking off, he moved on.
Think Big. Dont Hesitate to Start Small
In 1981, a determined Murthy started Infosys with Rs 10,000 he
borrowed from his wife. In few years, Infosys went on to become
one of the largest wealth creators in the country.
Cut Yourself a Slice, Not a Large One Always
When Infosys was set up, Murthy took a pay cut while salaries
of other co-founders were increased by 10 percent. According to
Murthy, a leader needs to show his or her sacrifce and commitment.
Lend a Hand and Throw in a Foot Too
After Murthy convinced seven of his colleagues, there was a
problem. Nandans future inlaws were not sure about him. Murthy
met Nandans uncle and convinced him.
Own Up, and Then Clean Up
In the 80s Infosys developed an application for a German
client. Murthy noticed a single character error and informed the
client immediately.
Trust in God, But Verify with Data
In God we trust, the rest must come with data, is perhaps
Murthys favourite statement. When confronted with difficult
decisions, he tends to rely on data.
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Keep the Faith
Infosys almost wound up in 1990. Murthy did not want to sell
the company. He asked co-founders if they wanted a sell out and
offered to buy their shares. All of them stuck together.
Get Involved
Infosys won a contract from Reebok in the early 90s. Seeing
the founders involvement, the software was nick named Dinesh,
Murthy and Prahlad. Infy veterans still recall those days.
Sharing is Caring
After the IPO, Infosys decided to share a portion of its equity with
employees. This helped them retain talent and gave employees a
sense of ownership. Murthy is proud of having given away stocks
worth over Rs 50,000 crore to employees.
Treat your People Good, but Your Best Better
Murthy always had a thing for good performers. And he
rewarded them well. When Infosys decided to give its employees
stock options, Murthy insisted that some shares be given to good
performers through the Chairmans quota.
Hire a Good Accountant, Even if he is Argumentative
A young, argumentative Indian, was asking too many questions
at an annual general body meeting of Infosys. More impressed than
irritated, he hired Mohandas Pai, who went on to help Infosys get
listed on Nasdaq.
When in Doubt, Disclose
Keep your books clean and leave the cooking to the chef.
Murthys philosophy about being open and transparent has given
the company a lot of credibility. He often says, When in doubt,
please disclose.
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FINDING TIME FOR FAMILY
Compiled by Thamizharasan Karunakaran
When the midwife placed his daughter into his arms for the frst
time, Thomas Saunders was overwhelmed with emotion. Through
tears of joy, he looked down at his little girl and made a silent promise
to himself that he would do everything in his power to provide for his
new family. As a result of his promise, Thomas began working harder
than he had ever worked before. He volunteered for unpopular shifts,
clocked up as much overtime as possible and tried to do whatever he
could to make a good impression with his boss.
After 6 months of hard work, his initiative paid off and he received
a promotion to assistant manager. This meant a jump in salary, and
a great deal of extra responsibility. To help him prepare for his new
position, Thomas was invited to attend a two-day New Manager
seminar at head offce. On the second day of the seminar, Thomas
attended a lecture delivered by a consultant from the Franklin Covey
Institute. Little did Thomas know that this 1-hour presentation would
change his life. After a brief preamble, the presenter asked for a
volunteer from the audience. Thomas raised his hand and was invited
onto the stage.
On a table in the center of the stage, the presenter had placed
a large glass bowl. Next to the bowl were three sizeable rocks and
a wooden bowl containing a pile of small pebbles. The presenter
informed the audience that the glass bowl represented Thomass life.
He then asked Thomas to nominate the three most important things
in his life. Thomas paused for a moment and then replied, My family,
my health, and my work.
Great replied the presenter and wrote these items onto the large
rocks with a permanent marker. Next, the presenter picked up the
wooden bowl containing the pebbles and poured them into the bowl
until it was three quarters full. He explained that the small stones
represented the many trivial tasks that all too often fll up our days.
The presenter then asked Thomas to try to add the large rocks to
the bowl.Thomas placed the frst rock into the bowl but then quickly
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realized that it was physically impossible to add the remaining rocks
into the already crowded bowl.Its just not possible said Thomas after
struggling for fve minutes. The presenter then lifted a second empty
glass bowl onto the table and said, OK, lets try a different approach.
He asked Thomas to place the large rocks into the second empty
bowl, which Thomas did with ease..OK Thomas, now I want you to
pour the small rocks from the frst glass bowl into the second bowl.
Thomas picked up the frst bowl, which was half flled with small
stones and carefully began pouring them into the second bowl, which
now contained his large rocks. With a loud clatter, the small stones
fowed around the large rocks and flled every nook and crevice. To
his amazement, Thomas was able to pour all the small stones into
the second bowl and then pat them level.
The presenter then turned to the audience and said, The take
home lesson from this experiment is that in order to ft everything into
your busy lives as a new manager, you will need to put your big rocks
in place frst. Everything else will then take care of itself. Thomas
paused for a moment, and then suddenly the true signifcance of the
experiment he had just taken part in hit him like a sledgehammer. For
the last six months he had been focusing on his career in order to
provide for his family. However, in doing so he had spent very little
actual time with his wife and little daughter.
As he drove home that night, he wrestled with his conficting
thoughts. He still wanted to do well in his career in order to meet the
needs of his family, but he now also wanted to make sure that he put
his big rocks in place frst. By the time he pulled into his driveway,
Thomas had come up with a plan.
Heres what he did:
Thomas discussed the seminar with his wife and told her that he
realized how busy he was going to be as an assistant manager and
he wanted to make sure that he put his family frst. He then found a
wall calendar and together, he and his wife went through the twelve
months ahead and blocked out one weekend per month as Family
Time.
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They aimed to make it the first weekend of the month, but
occasionally had to reschedule it around important occasions such as
family birthdays and weddings. After marking their Family Time on a
wall calendar, they copied the dates across to the calendars on their
mobile phones. This simple exercise took less than 20 minutes, but
it had an enormous impact on Thomas life.
By putting the big rock of his family into his schedule frst, an
amazing thing started to happen
In the months that followed, whenever Thomas referred to his diary
to schedule work events or social engagements, he came across his
Family Time entries and planned around them.
In the same way that the small stones had fowed around the large
rocks in the glass bowl experiment, Thomas external commitments
and obligations began fowing around his Family Time weekends.
Thomas and his wife began looking forward to their Family Time as
a way to take a break from their hectic day-to-day lives and reconnect
as a family. When their budget allowed it, they would go away for the
weekend, but many of their best Family Time weekends were spent
at home, going on picnics, exploring local markets and having movie
marathons.
Putting his family rock into his schedule frst helped Thomas lock
in his priorities, and made a big difference to the quantity and quality
of time he spent with his wife and little girl.
Today, Id like to encourage you to give this simple Family Time
system a go. My wife Bec and I now lock in our family time on the frst
day of each New Year, and its been one of the best things weve ever
done. If a whole weekend per month doesnt ft in with your schedule,
perhaps you can start with a monthly Family Day.
Give it a try and I hope you enjoy your Family Time as much as
we do.
Have a great time ahead ! J
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2.29 pm : Welcome Address
2.35 pm : Self In(tro)duction by Members and Guests
2.45 pm : Speakers and Topics in mixed order.
to 6.15 pm A welcome respite by way of tea break at 4.15 pm
Mr. Arun Kumar - Brand Called YOU
Ms. Rajanisree - Change and Challenge
Ms. Ananthi Karthic - Wonders of Hypnotherapy
Dr. T.M. Perumal - Stress and Heart
Ms. Soshina - Resetting your Marital Compass
Mr. Muthiah Ramanathan - Oddmen or Godmen
Major V V Narayanan - Impact of Media on Social Behaviour
Dr. C.N. Ramgopal - Breakthrough Thinking
Ms. Abi Sankari - Are Marks that Important ?
Ms. Swarna - Are todays Youth on the right path ?
Mr. V. Karthik will be the panel head and
preside over the deliberations.
Hypnotique Circle (Madras)
Cordially invites all its Members and Guests for the Monthly
Meeting on Sunday, the 11th August 2013 at
Hotel Palmgrove, Kodambakkam High Road, Chennai - 34
* Free for Members * Guest Investment Rs 150/-
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