A Ceremony That Illustrated What Japan's Group Oriented Society Is All About

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T
he other day, as part of my duties as an ALT (Assistant
Language Teacher) at a junior high school, I attended my
schools graduation ceremony. Before the ceremony, I gave
no thought as to what I would witness. I mean, a graduation is a grad-
uation. So I thought.
As I entered the gym to find my seat, the first thing I noticed was
that the entire student body was present. I had always thought gradua-
tion ceremonies were only for the graduating class and family and
that the other grades were not invited. I also noticed and which
seems to be a reoccurring theme of Japanese life was the separa-
tion of boys from girls. Female students were on one side of the aisle,
male students on the other.
As the graduating class entered the gym in a slow procession, they
did not look upbeat. And the music ... there was no Pomp and
Circumstance about it. To tell you the truth, it seemed downright
mournful. If there was electricity in the air, it was surely not the kind
I was used to.
The graduation proceeded with speeches and the conferring of
diplomas, and then a succession of songs. The first song, a kind of
farewell serenade, was sung by the 1st (in the U.S. 7th) and 2nd grade
students. The refrain I heard was natsukashii hibi, or wistful days.
Then it was graduating classs turn to sing a song. I could see some
girls struggling to sing while trying to hold back tears. Their faces
turned red and looked worn out. Some gave up the struggle and wept
into their hand towels. Even some of the troublemakers (male) who I
thought were hopeless cases were, by all appearances, moved. To me
it seemed unjust, if not cruel, to have the graduating class singing
their own swan song.
Time waits for no one
As the last song, sung by everyone, filled the gymnasium, I could
feel my own legs shaking and growing weak, my palms breaking out
in a sweat, my whole body in a hot flash, my face flushed, my head
reeling. I was on the verge, for some reason. Perhaps it was the sight
of young teenage girls crying. Or perhaps the music itself had some
kind of primordial effect like Amazing Grace has on some people
or a beautiful aria from a Beijing Opera has on me. Or finally
perhaps, I, like the graduating class, could sense the inexorable
passage of time there in that gym: that Time waits for no one. And
that this was really it: this was the end; finality had arrived. No doubt
about it. Like it or not, friendships must come an end.
A Ce re mony t hat Illus t rat e d What Japans
Group Orie nt e d Soc ie t y is All About
Text: Terry OBRIEN
Perspectives on Japan
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What came to end, I realized, was not just friendship. It had to be
more than that. Then it dawned on me what all those long hours
together in classes, clubs, practices, rehearsals, on special days, and
even on weekends meant for the students. For the past three years
they had spent a good part of their waking hours together. More than
I could have imagined. From my outsiders viewpoint I had always
thought that this could only be tiresome, to say the least. But as I
watched the students cry, I started to realize that this is what a group
oriented society is all about. It all started to come together: this
inside/outside, safety in numbers, group unity thing.
After the songs, the graduating class,
one homeroom at a time, stood up from their chairs, faced their
teachers who were lined up in front, center stage, and wailed to them,
Arigato gozaimasu! (Im very thankful to you.) It was sad,
beautiful, painful, and joyful to watch. Having never witnessed such
a scene in all my life, I was completely spellbound.
Graduation is beginning, and not the end
As I try to recall my own graduation, I cant say I remember much
of anything. There were, Im sure, plenty of smiles, handshakes,
hugs, slaps on the back, and Congratulations to go around. The
atmosphere was one of celebration. At my commencement we did not
dwell on past memories as we were told to commence our new
lives and to look ahead to the future. Graduation in effect was not the
end, but the beginning.
And perhaps because this was beginning, and not the end, we did
not feel that friendships had to come to end. We would always be
friends. And anyway new friends could be made easily. Friendships
were inevitable, easily gained and lost. In short, friendship, for inde-
pendent young men and women like us,
wasnt a big deal. And so looking ahead
to the future, we turned our backs to past
memories and to our classmates whom
perhaps we did not know so well, and
went our separate ways without much
remorse, even ecstatic.
As I was sitting there the other day dazed, watching the graduating
class sob, maybe I was a bit envious, realizing that they, having been
raised in an entirely different culture, had taken the other road.
That road seemed to offer experiences and emotions that I, raised to
be independent and individualistic, could never have. And I couldnt
help but think more about my American childhood what I had
gained, and what I had lost.

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