Amy, the author of this personal narrative, effectively uses voice to convey the fear she feels as she

ascends a path to an area above a

100-ft. waterfall. Her expert choice of words helps to paint a beautiful picture of her surroundings.
The Climb
First-grader Traci begins and ends her report with a main idea about parrots: they are
pretty, colorful birds.
Parrots
Parrots are colorful. They have different colors like blue, red, black, orange, green,
yellow, and white. Parrots live in cactuses, nests, and underground holes.
Some parrots eat roots, and some eat nectar and seeds. They have different bills.
Macaws (a kind of parrot) crack things open. Other parrots dig up roots and bulbs from
the ground.
There are different kinds of parrots, but they all lay eggs. Parrots are pretty birds.
Many details are included in this writing,
and a personal tone emerges. The piece
has a clear beginning, middle, and
ending.
My Trip to Mexico
One time I went to Mexico. It was a
blast! I met people there. I went
horseback riding. I saw a box holding an
armadillo. I went to a water fall. I tried
to catch a frog with one leg. I couldn't
catch it. It was fun in Mexico.
Sweet Spring
Spring is sweet because we can go boat riding and bees come and take honey out of the flowers. I feel good because it is very, very,
very hot outside and I can go on the swings. The best part of spring is that my family can go to the beach.
This writing shows that the writer has a real grasp of the meaning of a fable. It has
some delightful details.
A Fable
Once there was a bunny. He had a big problem. He didn't think he was special. He
wanted to be someone different. He went for a walk.
First he met a lion. The lion said, "What are you doing, little rabbit? It is a lot of work
watching my kingdom."
"Well, then, I'll be on my way," said the little rabbit. He thought, "I don't want to be a
lion!"
Then he met a turtle. The turtle said, "What are you doing, little bunny? I have a long
way to go and I'm really slow."
"Well, then, I'll be off."
The last animal he saw was a mouse. The mouse said, "I'm on the run from a cat."
"Then I'll leave you alone," said the little bunny. The bunny thought, "I'm fine the way I
am." So the little bunny learned that he was fine the way he is.
This story is well organized, and the
sentences flow smoothly. There are lots
of details and excellent word choices.
The Missing Coin
It was the day after St. Patrick's Day and
all the little leprechauns were settling
down for a nap. But one leprechaun
named Sly was wide awake. He had lost
his magic coin!
Meanwhile a little girl named Emma had
found the leprechaun's magic coin. "Hey,
look at this!" she exclaimed to her mom.
"Wow," said her mom, "I think it's a
real leprechaun coin. Without it the
leprechaun can't get around very fast.
You'd better go to the woods and try to
find the leprechaun who lost it." So the
girl hurried off into the woods.
A few minutes after the girl entered the
woods she saw a little leprechaun moving
very slowly through a patch of three-leaf
clovers. She said, "Here's your coin
back." The leprechaun was very
grateful. He gave the girl three wishes
and set off, never to lose his coin again.
Second-grade writer Kirsten shares
many interesting facts in her report.
Notice how she ties everything together
by mentioning the horses good eyesight
in both the first and last paragraphs.
Horses
Did you know horses can point their ears
more than we can? Did you know that
horses can groom one another? Horses
can also see more than we can. They can
see what is behind and what is in front of
them.
Some horses live in North America,
South America, Europe, and Australia.
Fifty-five million years ago horses were
dog sized. Horses are black, brown,
white, and spotted. Horses like to eat
grass. Horses live on a farm and outside.
Horses played a big role in the
development of our country. They
carried people west. They pulled covered
wagons, firewagons, farmers plows, and
stagecoaches. They carried the mail. In
the 1900s the horse was replaced by the
car and the train.
The largest horse is the Percheron. It is
21 hands high. The smallest horse is the
Falabella. It is only 7 hands high. Horses
usually have one baby a year. They live
25 to 35 years.
I wish I could be like a horse because
they know when they are in danger. They
can see so well because their eyes are on
the sides of their faces.
Sources
Book of Mammals, Volume 1 1981.
Oxford American Childrens
Encyclopedia, Volume 4 1998.
Animals Are Not Like Us by Graham
Meadows, 1998.
The Mini Page: A World of Horses by
Betty Debnam, 1992 Universal Press
Syndicate.
This report was submitted by Brittany, a
second grader. The ending of Brittanys
report shares exactly how she feels about
her subject.
Ladybugs
Ladybugs are insects. Insects are bugs
that have six legs. Ladybugs have all
kinds of designs on their wings. They
have dots, stripes, and other designs. In
England ladybugs are called ladybirds.
Ladybugs are harmless, but if you pick
one up it will tickle you! Ladybugs are
very helpful to farmers because they eat
aphids. Aphids are tiny bugs that eat
plants. Ladybugs enemies are spiders
and praying mantises.
If you find a ladybug, dont smash it. Put
it in some flowers nearby. If you like
ladybugs as much as I do, then you
should read The Grumpy Ladybug by
Eric Carle. I love ladybugs!
Austin, the second-grade writer of this
expository paragraph, introduces his
subjecthow to be a good presidentin
an interesting way.
If I Were President
If I were president, Id be responsible.
Id look alert and run the United States
like it should be run. Id be honest. Then
the people would trust me. I would be a
good president because I have faith in
the people of the United States.
This book review is well organized and
shares interesting details related to the
book.
One Great Book
I love the book McBungle Down Under
by Brenda Parkes. My favorite part is
when McBungle tried to get the koala in
the gum tree.
I like the book because it is so funny. I
really like the end. It's great when they
go to the pet shop and get a pet. If you
like animals, you would like this book,
too!
Dylan, a second-grade writer, shares his
very personal feelings in an honest,
direct way. His first and last sentences
tell the whole story; and the middle
sentences give the reader important,
heartfelt details about Dylans
experience.
My Dad
I was at the hospital when my dad was
dying. My mom and my sister were
there, too. Mom was lighting candles in
my dads room. My dad was going to
have an operation. He said, Im going to
be in a better place. He said he loved
me. My dad died after the operation. I
dont know why my dad died. I was only
five years old, but I still remember. I
hope when your dad dies, you will always
remember him, too. I miss my dad. His
dogs miss him. My family misses him.
The beginning paragraph of this writer's
report invites the reader to keep going.
The details show that she knows a lot
about cheetahs.
Cheetahs
You should never race a cheetah. Do you
know why? Because you'll always lose.
That's because cheetahs are very fast
runners. They can run up to 75 miles per
hour.
The cheetah gets its food by running. But
sometimes the lion takes over and grabs
the food. That's mean!
Cheetahs are carnivores. That means
they eat meat. Their prey are gazelles
and rodents. The cheetah lives and finds
food in Africa.
The cheetah and the lion eat each other.
If the cheetah is weaker, the lion eats the
cheetah, and it's the same with the other.
The cheetah has up to three to five
babies. The cheetah has larger litters
than other cats, but on average only two
cubs live into adulthood.
Cheetahs are amazing. I hope you like
cheetahs. I know I do!
The author's personal voice comes
through loud and clear in this friendly
letter submitted by third-grader Andrea.

1256 Cherry Street
Troy, MI 48003
J une 2, 2000

Dear Ms. Nathan,
You put hearts in the envelope!
You look great in the picture! Wow,
traveling to Yosemite Park sounds cool.
And it's nice you and Dr. Nathan are
doing something special every weekend.
That's great that you are playing the
Mozart Concerto in C, even though you
are playing an easy version. Yes! I am
proud of you. I am in Level 3 in piano.
Morse School is really looking great.
They are almost done remodeling. I wish
you could see it. I think we'll get to move
back in soon.
My new teacher is Ms. Porter. Many of
the kids you had last year are in Ms.
Porter's class.
Please write back and tell me about
California.


Fondly,
Andrea

P.S. We had a lot of snow, about 17
inches.
The writer's descriptions in this narrative make it a vivid and memorable story.
The Funny Dance
I remember when my dog Murphy was really little. She was only two or three years
old. It was on Christmas. My dad put on some Christmas music and Murphy put her
paws up in the air and started swirling around in circles. Then she put her paws on my
dad's hands and they started dancing together. It was very funny, and my dad thought
that Murphy was a good dancer!
This author brings excitement to her
story when she paints a picture of her
friend sprawled like a spider.
The Sled Run
One day it snowed like crazy! So school
was cancelled. I had Amy over to play.
We decided to go sledding. So we started
to slide down the hill. We sledded for a
long time.
One time we decided to go down
together. Amy sat in the front seat and I
sat in the back. We started to go down
the hill. Then CRASH! We ran into a
bush!
Amy went flying and I got my feet
caught in the bush! Amy looked like a
spider caught in its own spider web. I
had a lot of fun that day, and I will never
forget it!
Dylan, the fourth-grade writer of this
model, concludes the report by repeating
the main points he explained in the body.
Deer Don't Need to Flee
to Stay Trouble-Free!
Have you ever been in trouble and
wanted to get away? The white-tailed
deer can swim, run, hide, and fight to
stay out of trouble. If you want to know
how they do it, read on.
In early April, fawns (baby deer) are
born. After a few weeks, the doe (the
mother deer) leaves her fawns to find
food. The doe leaves her fawns in a
bushy place. The trees and grass can
help keep the fawns from being seen by
hungry predators. The white-tailed deer
has many predators, such as these:
mountain lions, bobcats, leopards, lions,
dogs, bears, tigers, coyotes, wolves, and
even humans.
The fawns' camouflage hides them in
April's trees and golden grasses. In
spring, the fawns' fur is brown with
white spots. In summer, the fawns' white
spots disappear and never come back. In
winter, their fur is gray, which helps
them hide in the snow.
When the deer see, smell, or hear
something suspicious, they stick their
white tails up to signal that danger is
near. The leader will run, and the others
will follow.
When a deer is chased to water, it knows
what to do. The deer will win this battle.
The deer runs into the water and swims
to the deepest part. If the predator
thinks it's going to win the battle, it is
wrong. The deer will kick and thrash
until the predator drowns or walks off
wounded.
If a deer is in a wide-open field and
notices a predator, it will run zigzag to
get away. It runs zigzag to confuse the
predator. If the deer ran straight, it could
become a venison feast.
There is one more way that deer stay out
of trouble. Bucks fight with weapons
called antlers. These are different from
horns because they are attached to the
skull, and horns are not. Antlers are
made of bone and have vitamins in them.
The deer can use its antlers to protect
itself.
Deer stay safe by hiding, swimming,
running, and fighting. Whenever you see
a deer raise its tail, you know that it has
seen a predator.
Layton, a fifth grader, grabs the readers
attention with a couple of questions and
a clear picture of what he is planning to
talk about in his report. Notice the
effective use of humor in the final
paragraph.
Height-Challenged German Shepherd
Have you ever seen a dog with big ears
and short legs? Was it so irresistibly cute
you just wanted to take it home?
Chances are, you were looking at a
Pembroke Welsh corgi. Let me introduce
you to a dog of very high intelligence.
Since Welsh corgis are so intelligent, they
are easy to train. One of the jobs they are
good at is herding sheep and cattle.
Welsh corgis are also very loyal
companions for people of all ages.
The Welsh corgis small size means it
doesnt take up much room as a pet. Its
average height is 10-12 inches, and an
adult dog weighs approximately 25-30
pounds.
Welsh corgis were originally bred in
Wales. They come in several colors: red,
sable, fawn, or black and tan, with or
without white markings. Their coats are
a medium length, and they need to be
groomed and exercised regularly to stay
healthy. The corgis life span is 12 to 14
years.
Welsh corgis are known for being bold
but kind, friendly, and alert. They are
friendly to all, good with children, and
rarely aggressive. Next time you see a
dog that looks like a German shepherd
in the front seat of a car, look again. It
may be a dog with a full-sized body and
half-sized legsnot a height-challenged
German shepherd. When it hops out, you
might just drop your jaw.
Fifth-grader Tommy includes lots of
details in a story that leads up to a
surprise ending.
The Haunted House
Have you ever been trick-or-treating
when you came upon an old house and
wanted to explore it? Well, I'll tell you a
story about five kids, Jake, Zach, John,
Bob, and Sean, who did it.
They were trick-or-treating in their
neighborhood, going door-to-door, when
they came upon an old house. "Let's go
in," Sean said. Everybody said they
would.
They started up the walk. The grass was
overgrown, and there were a couple of
broken windows. They got to the door,
and it opened by itself. They went inside.
They had flashlights with them, so they
turned them on. The house was covered
in cobwebs.
They saw a sign that said, "Beware," and
it was pointing up to the second floor.
They decided to go upstairs. When they
got there, they saw a hallway with three
rooms. One room had an old bed and a
dresser. The second room was a
bathroom. The third room was a sitting
room.
When they entered the third room,
someone said, "Hello." All the boys
screamed and ran downstairs.
When they were at the door, the voice
said, "Don't you guys want some
candy?" They turned around and saw a
man with candy standing in the hallway.
They ran as fast as they could to Bob's
house. When they got there, they
described the man to Bob's mom. She
said, "That sounds like Mr. Craig. He
lived there when I was a kid, but he died
30 years ago."
Fifth-grader Melissa clearly states her
opinion in the first paragraph. She
shares supporting ideas, with details, in
the middle paragraphs. In her
conclusion, she restates her opinion in a
fresh way.
Letter to the Editor
Dear Editor,
Im writing to you about the Teacher-
Who-Made-a-Difference contest. Ms.
Wells made a difference to me! I think
she should be the winner of your contest.
Ms. Wells has done so much for me and
for all of her students; this is the least I
can do for her.
First of all, Ms. Wells is helpful. Shes
willing to help anyone in the classroom
who needs help. My teacher always helps
us with worksheets. On Friday, she
showed me how to do something in math.
If you ask her for help, shell help you.
In addition, Ms. Wells is a kind person.
She always lets her students stay in from
recess. On February 26, she let our class
have a Colonial Day. We got to dress up
like colonists; it was a blast! Not only is
she kind to kids, but shes also kind to
other teachers and parents. She is always
thoughtful and considerate.
Lastly, Ms. Wells donates her time to
kids. She donates her lunch recess for
Student Council, which meets in her
room. Last fall, Ms. Wells promised me
that she would come to one of my soccer
games. Guess what? She did, even
though she had a lot of school stuff to
correct and had to leave for Chicago.
In conclusion, I think Ms. Wells should
be the winner of your contest. She is
helpful and kind and gives her free time
to students. I know you will agree with
me that Ms. Wells is a Teacher Who
Made a Difference. Shes the best!

Sincerely,
Melissa
This model is based on an essay
submitted by fourth-grader Kristyn. She
clearly states her opinion in the first
paragraph. Then she shares a supporting
reason in each of the middle paragraphs.
Adopting a Pet from the Pound
Owning a pet from the pound or Animal
Rescue League has many advantages.
First of all, a child feels good about
rescuing an abandoned or abused animal
and giving it a whole new life. Besides, if
the animals from the pound arent
adopted right away, they might be put to
sleep. Having a pet also means lots of
responsibilities. A child has to feed, clean
up after, brush, and exercise the pet.
Another great advantage of having a pet
from the pound is the price of these cute
and cuddly animals. Pets from the pound
cost only a few dollars while pets at a
fancy pet store can cost hundreds of
dollars.
Once you adopt a pet from the Animal
Rescue League, it will quickly become a
part of your family. If you are thinking
of adopting a pet, you might consider
choosing a dog or a cat. Dogs and cats
can bring lots of happy times to a family,
and they can be excellent companions for
a person who lives alone or someone who
has lost a loved one. Dogs are also a
wonderful source of protection. Cats are
funny, and they may help to calm people
down when they are sad or mad.
Please consider adopting an animal. If
you remember all of the advantages of
adopting a pet from the pound, you
might find the bird, mouse, hamster, dog,
or cat of your choice.
This model is based on an essay
submitted by fourth-grader Mia. She
uses some vivid verbs and sensory
detailsdevour juicy caramel-covered
apples," crisp fall breeze, soft spring
trickles of rain splashing the sidewalks,
warm summer sunto help the reader
experience her favorite place.
My Favorite Place to Go
Do you have a favorite place to goa
place with family, good weather, and fun
things to do like crabbing? Im glad I do.
New Jersey is my favorite place for many
reasons.
The first reason is my family. Over half
of my family lives in New Jersey. When I
visit, my cousins and I laugh and play all
day and night. My uncles and aunts take
me to the boardwalk where we ride tall,
long roller coasters. We devour juicy
caramel-covered apples and foot-long
hot dogs. My family is fun to be with.
The second reason for New Jersey being
my favorite place is the weather. Instead
of being hot and sweaty, its always cool
and moist. When I think about my visits,
I can just feel the crisp fall breeze in my
hair. I can just see the white, fluffy
winter snow. I can just hear the soft
spring trickles of rain splashing on the
sidewalks. I can just feel the warm
summer sun on my face. The weather is
great!
The third reason for New Jersey being
my favorite place is crabbing. If its crab
season, we crab. We keep the blue crabs
and the snow crabs, and we let the others
go. Sometimes we catch crabs on hooks,
and sometimes we lower crab cages into
the bay. Then we pull them out later. One
time my brother caught a crab so big
that it got stuck in the crab cage! The
crab finally got out, but it hurt one of its
legs and broke the cage trying. Poor
crab!
For all these reasons, New Jersey is my
favorite place to go. If you dont have a
favorite place, I think you should search
for one. Its good to visit a favorite
placea place where you can make
special memories. By the way, if you crab
at your special place, be sure to get a big
crab cage.
This model is based on an essay
submitted by fourth-grader Amy. She
combines narrative writing with
descriptive writing by telling two
interesting stories about her favorite
place(1) how she built the fort and (2)
a special time she spent there with a hurt
friend.
Shadow Fort
I have a place I love to go. Its a fort, or a
clubhouse, where I can go with friends.
We can hang out there, plan neat stuff,
eat, and rest. Shadow Fort is my favorite
place for lots of reasons.
First of all, theres plenty of room for a
few kids. Its large (gargantuan to me).
The fort is 3 ft. 8 in. high, 5 ft. 3 in. long,
and 3 ft. 6 in. wide. Theres a place in
back (we call it the pantry) for crackers,
grapefruit, avacadoes, potatoes, carrots,
berries, and Spanish moss. The roof is
made of 4-ft. palm leaves and smaller
fronds.
Second, this fort is the first structure I
ever built, with the help of my friend
Kevin. We built it during a light shower.
It was only a few vines that tangled
together to make a kind of cave that we
could crawl under. We worked fast to put
palm fronds and leaves over the vines.
Quick! Lets get inside! I shouted to
Kevin. We got inside in the nick of time.
It began to rain powerfully, and oh how
the wind blew! But our fort kept us safe
and dry. Later we named it Shadow Fort
because it sits in a shady area.
Finally, Shadow Fort is my favorite place
because it has everything we need. We
keep food in the pantry, a small cot to sit
on, and we even have a plywood door.
One time Kevin fell out of a tree and
hurt his ankle. I helped him back to
Shadow Fort where he rested on the cot.
Then I made some dinnercrackers,
carrots, and berries for dessert.
Can you see why Shadow Fort is my
favorite place? I hope so. When Im
there, I feel happy as a cat with cream!
Fourth-grader Abigail wrote an essay
that describes how great her mother is.
She includes both serious and fun
reasons!
My Mother
Do you have someone who is great,
spends time with you, cares for you, and
is an important person? Well, I do, and
she has black hair, brown eyes, and a
caring touch. That's my mom.
My mom talks to me about many things.
One of the things she talks to me about is
what will happen when I grow up. She
tells me what to do in case of an
emergency. And one day I had a really
bad day with my friends, and she told me
what to do about it.
My mom and I spend a lot of time
together. We play games, bake cookies,
make necklaces, and draw doodle tricks.
But our favorite thing to do is read. Our
favorite book is If You Give a Mouse a
Cookie.
Mom takes me shopping at the mall. We
buy toys and clothes, and we eat at the
caf. We usually get Chinese food or go
to a McDonald's restaurant. When we
ride the escalator, my mom pretends to
fall back and says, "My shoestring's
stuck!"
My mom always laughs, and when she
laughs she sounds like a hyena gone
crazy! She doesn't laugh every day, but
when she does, it's hilarious, and I have
to laugh, too!
My mom is the greatest. I love how she
jokes around. She is always fun no
matter what, and she gives me great
advice. My mom is more than a mom;
she is like my best friend!
Kendra, a fourth grader, submitted this
model in which she shares a very
personal experience.
Ann
Do you have a friend who loves you?
Well, I did. Her name was Ann. She was
a very close friend of mine. She was
almost like family to me. Ann was very
kind, and she had bright blue eyes and
curly gray hair. I loved her very much.
She invited me to go swimming every
summer. We had a lot of fun all those
summers. But she could not get in the
water most of the time because she was
sick. Sometimes my sisters would come
swimming, too. But it was better with
just Ann and me because I just wanted to
spend time with her.
Ann always listened to me when I had a
problem. She was always there for me
when I needed help on homework or had
problems at school. Sometimes she would
let me come in her house, and she would
give me something to eat. Most of the
time it would be an orange and a soft
drink.
Last summer that all changed. Ann was
diagnosed with cancer. Two weeks after
Ann was diagnosed with cancer, she died.
Her funeral was not too long after that.
My mom did not let me go to the
visitation at the funeral home or to the
funeral ceremony.
My heart broke. Ann was no longer there
with me. Now, it's been a year since
Ann's death, but I still dream about her.
Now it's hard without her. My whole life
has changed without Ann, and I really
miss her. I know that everywhere I go
there will always be a spot in my heart
for Ann!
This model is based on an essay
submitted by fourth-grader Isabel. In the
second paragraph, Isabel adds interest
and humor to her writing by including
her personal comments in parentheses.
Rules
One day, on the way home from school,
my mom told me she was going to make
up some new rules for me and my
brothers and sisters. Before this, we
knew she wanted us to be good, but we
really didnt have any rules. Well, Mom
took care of that. On Sunday, she started
giving us the house rules.
Clean your rooms every other day. Be
ready for dinner at 7:00 p.m. (that means
sitting at the table, with clean hands). If
Mom is having a meeting in the house, be
very quiet (that means turn down the
music and the TV). Be ready for bed at
9:30 p.m. (that means lying in bed, with
clean faces). Get up at 7:30 a.m. to get
ready for school (that means your feet
are on the floor, not just hanging off the
bed). Take the garbage cans to the curb
on Monday morning before school.
Clean the bathroom on Thursday.
Following these rules isnt too hard, and
sometimes its even fun. Other times, it
can be tough. For instance, if your room
is really dirty, and you cant finish
cleaning it on that day, you have to finish
it on the next day, along with anything
else you have to do. That can be hard.
Mom made these rules because she loves
us a lot. She wants us to learn how to be
on time, be clean and neat, and be polite.
Every day, we try to follow her rules.
This letter of application is clear,
organized, accurate, and engaging. The
author gets right to the pointalways a
good practice in business writing.
983 Elm St. SW
Flagstaff, AZ 86001-3441
April 2, 2000


Dr. Heidi Larson
Larson Veterinary Clinic
9179 Highbury Ave.
Flagstaff, AZ 86001-3862

Dear Dr. Larson:

Your accountant, Rusty Silhacek, is my
neighbor. He mentioned that your office
stays very busy, so I wondered if you
could use some extra help. I would like to
apply for a position as a part-time
veterinary assistant.
As far as animal care goes, Im
experienced in feeding, bathing,
exercising, and cleaning up after small
and large animals. I truly love animals
and have always given them special
attention and care. I would be available
to help after school and on weekends.
I would be happy to come in for an
interview at your convenience. You can
contact me any weekday after 3:00 p.m.
at 523-4418. Thank you for considering
my application.

Sincerely,
Andrea Rodriguez
Hannah's seventh-grade science class
tried an experiment involving an egg,
vinegar, corn syrup, and water. Her
observations include not only the
outcomes of the different steps in the
procedure, but also her personal
reactions to the experiment.
The Incredible Egg
Procedure:
On October 5, I gathered a large
Styrofoam cup, an egg, some vinegar,
some corn syrup, and some water. Before
I started the lab, I weighed the egg on a
scale. Because the egg would just roll off
the scale if I set it down by itself, I
weighed the cup, and then added the egg.
After I knew how much the egg weighed,
I poured enough vinegar in the cup to
submerge the egg. I then covered the top
of the cup with plastic wrap and set the
egg aside. The next day, I washed the egg
and the cup and weighed the egg. Then I
poured in enough corn syrup to cover the
egg, and I once again covered the cup
with plastic wrap and set it aside. The
third and final day of this lab, I cleaned
the egg and the cup and weighed the egg
again. For the last part of the
experiment, I covered the egg with water,
put plastic wrap over the cup, and set it
aside, following up the next day with
another weigh-in.

Observations:
After letting the egg sit in vinegar for 24
hours, the hard part of the shell had
been eaten off. The part of the soft shell
that was left was very smooth and slimy.
The egg weighed a little less than the day
before because the heaviest part of the
shell was gone. The egg also had a small
dent in it because the outside was so
fragile. When I tried to wash off the
extra vinegar, I almost dropped the egg
because it was so slippery.
On the second day, when I washed off
the corn syrup, the egg was very light. It
had numerous dents in it, and it was so
fragile that I could barely wash it off.
The egg was very slippery and extremely
slimy, but I managed to hold on. It felt
like I was holding a blown-up balloon in
my handthat's how light the egg was.
On the third day, when I took the egg out
of the water, I found that it was a little
bit heavier than the day before. There
were not as many dents in the egg, so it
was much easier to wash off. The egg was
still a little bit slippery and kind of slimy,
but overall, it was in much better shape
than the day before.

Conclusions:
I discovered that the shell peeled off in
the vinegar because of an acidic reaction.
The acid in the vinegar peeled away the
shell.
When the egg was soft and light from the
corn syrup, it was because water had left
the egg to cause a state of equilibrium.
The water had made the egg heavy and
somewhat sturdy.
When the egg was in the water, the water
diffused into the egg to cause a state of
equilibrium, and that is why the egg was
heavier on that day.
I really had a fun time experimenting
with my egg. I learned a lot about
diffusion and equilibrium.
This model is based on an original story
submitted by Elise, a sixth-grade writer.
Note how she uses dialogue and details to
bring her characters to life.
Lindens Library
It was a normal Saturday on Oak
Streetthe same morning dew sparkling
on the grass, the same cherry blossoms
swaying in the breeze, the same daffodils
bursting with color. Yes, as far as anyone
could tell, it was a normal day in
Washington, D.C.
When Katie awoke, she got dressed,
brushed her teeth and hair, and checked
her to do list. Then she hurried down
for breakfast: rich, fluffy, chocolate-chip
pancakes; fresh orange juice; crispy
bacon; and crunchy, buttered toast.
Katies stomach growled loudly.
Smells good, Mom, Katie said.
Good morning! her mother chimed
happily. Eat up. You sound like youre
starving to death! Katie sat down and
ate. So whats on the agenda today,
Katie?
Today I have the Library Club with
June and Cat, Katie said. As soon as she
finished eating, she scraped her plate
(even though there was barely a crumb
on it) and went outside.
Katie loved everything to do with nature.
She wanted to be an environmentalist
when she grew up. She sat in her favorite
spot under the massive cherry tree,
where she had a spectacular view of the
Washington Monument. Before heading
to the library, she thought of what to do
with her week of spring break.
As Katie sat down on the rug of Lindens
Library with her best friends June and
Cat (short for Catherine), she noticed a
new book on the table. Its title was Wild
Safari. When the librarian said they
could pick their books, Katie ran to the
table and snatched the book before
anyone else could. Then she walked over
to the checkout counter, where Linden
stood.
Linden was a tall, lanky man with
blazing blue eyes that were strangely
magnified by his green glasses. He had
brown hair styled in a stubbly crew cut.
He was about 35 years old, Katie
thought. Most of the time he was cheery,
and he always told the truth. Hello,
Katie, he said.
Hi, Linden, said Katie. I was
wondering if I could check out this new
book. She showed him Wild Safari.
I wouldnt take that book, Katie,
Linden said.
Why? asked Katie.
Because if you take that book, bad
things will happen, Linden said.
Katie gave him a puzzled look. What
kind of things? she asked.
I dont know, but theyll be bad,
Linden warned.
Well, will you still allow me to check out
the book? Katie asked.
Yes, but only because I think I know
how to stop the bad stuff if it does
happen, Linden replied.
So Katie checked out the book and went
to find June and Cat. She saw that June
was holding The Long Winter and Cat
had The Secret Garden. Katie shared
with them every word of her
conversation with Linden.
Thats odd, said June. Normally he
tells the truth, but I think hes trying to
scare you. After all, its only a book,
right? But somehow her words didnt
convince Katie.
Katies thoughts were unsettled, so she
went to her favorite spot, where she
could always make sense of things. She
sat down under the tree and started to
read the book. It was full of jungle
animal adventureseverything from
anteaters to zebras. After reading three
chapters, she brought the book inside
and put it on her nightstand.
That evening, after eating a scrumptious
dinner, Katie went to her room to change
into her pjs. She went to the living room
to watch TV with her family, and then
she retreated to her room so she could
read more. When she got to the ninth
chapter, she fell asleep. Thats when the
madness began.
When Katie woke up, her world was
upside-down. Everything in sight was
covered in ivy, and it seemed to be
growing out of her book! She grabbed
desperately for some scissors and went
outside. The landscape couldnt have
been more different. All of Washington
was covered with ivyeven the
Washington Monument! She ran back
inside and jumped on her mom to wake
her up. When her mom opened her eyes,
she screamed, which woke up her dad,
who also screamed. They seemed to be
frozen with fear! Katie decided that they
were no help, so she ran to her friend
Junes house. They were just waking up
and didnt see the ivy because it wasnt
inside their house. They were all shocked
to see Katie there and wondered why she
looked so flustered. Look outside, she
said in little more than a whisper. They
all went outside, and their reaction was
the same as Katies parents. June was the
only one who didnt freeze with fear.
June, Katie said, do you have any
clue how this happened?
No, June said, trembling, but lets
think over the conversation you had with
Linden.
Good thinking, said Katie. They went
to Junes room and talked for an hour.
Finally, Katie remembered that Linden
had said that he knew how to stop the
bad stuff if it happened.
Lets pay him a visit, said June.
They both ran to Lindens house. They
could tell everything was getting worse
animals were everywhere, and the ivy
was getting thicker. They had to cut the
ivy with Katies scissors just to ring the
doorbell at Lindens house! When he
answered the door, Katie asked, Can we
stop it?
Linden said just one word before he
fainted. The word was shred.
He must mean shred the book! Katie
said. She and June ran as fast as they
could to Katies house and tried to find
their way through the thick ivy to the
book. When they eventually got to the
book, Katie and June beat and shredded
the book until it let out a strange shriek,
sucked in all the ivy and animals that
had escaped its pages, and vanished.
No one except Katie and June knew what
really happened that eerie day. To this
day, they still look for the mysterious
book. Who knows where it will appear
next . . . ?
The use of an authoritys quotation to open this editorial lends credibility to the writers opinion. Seventh-grader J ess backs up her
position in subsequent paragraphs.
Fine Arts
Fine arts are important in the curriculum because of what they do for learning, stated Patty Taylor, arts consultant for the California
State Department of Education. In other words, the arts, especially music, should be part of every schools curriculum at every grade
level. Music makes students smarter, gives children something positive to do, and builds self-confidence. Most students dont have a
chance to learn music outside of school, and everyone deserves that opportunity.
Students would be much smarter if they had some music experience. They would improve their classroom skills, like paying attention,
following directions, and participating without interrupting. People develop all these skills when they learn music. Musicians are also
better in math, and they get higher S.A.T. scores. For instance, a study by the College Entrance Examination Board reported,
Students with 20 units of arts and music scored 128 points higher on the S.A.T. verbal and 118 points higher in math. A Rockefeller
Foundation study states that music majors have the highest rate of admittance to medical school. Making music also lets children use
their imaginations, unlike playing with video games and electronic stuffed animals. It provides students a chance to try out their own
ideas, according to the October 1997 California Educator. Music makes children well-rounded students.
Music not only makes children better students but also gives them something positive to do. In a music program, children can be part
of a band or choir instead of joining a gang. Parents can enjoy listening to their childrens music instead of seeing them glued to a
computer or TV screen. In band, students get to be part of a team. They can interact with old friends and make new friends through
music. While learning and making music, children can also be exploring a potential career.
Music builds self-confidence. It gives children a sense of accomplishment and success. Making music is something for them to be
proud of, and it lets kids practice performing in front of an audience. As reported in the California Educator, It gives [students] self-
confidence and a feeling of importance to have a skill someone appreciates. They are also learning how to accomplish something from
beginning to end and actually come out with a product that they can be proud of. Music gives children an outlet for self-expression,
and that helps develop their self-confidence.
Once again, music is important because it can make children better students, give them something positive to do, and build their
character. Unfortunately, the children who need music lessons the most usually dont have access to them outside of school. That is
why music should be offered in every single grade in every school.
J ordan wants to have a nice, long summer at the end of seventh grade; her persuasive essay makes that quite evident with several
points that support her opinion through the use of statistics, comparison, and expert testimony.
Summer: 15 Days or 2 1/2 Months?
The final bell rings. Its the last day of school, and summer has finally come! Students dont have to think about school for at least
another 2 1/2 months. That is the way it should always be. Schools should continue using the traditional calendar and not a year-round
schedule. There are numerous downsides to year-round schooling. It has no positive effects on education, it adds to costs, and it
disrupts the long-awaited summer vacation.
Contrary to the well-accepted belief, year-round schooling has no constructive impact on education. Most year-round schedules use
the 45-15 method: 45 days of school followed by 15 days off. Because of this, there are many first and last days of school. All those
transitions disrupt the learning process. Also, there is no evidence of higher test scores. Due to that, many schools that change to year-
round schedules end up switching back. For example, since 1980, 95 percent of schools that tried the year-round schedule changed
back to a traditional calendar. It is obvious that changing to year-round schooling does not help students; therefore, why is the change
necessary?
Like any other facility, keeping a school open requires a great deal of money. When a school changes to a year-round schedule, the
costs skyrocket. Keeping school open in the middle of summer requires air conditioning, and that adds significantly to the schools
expenses. The usual utility bills grow because of the additional open-school time. Finally, teachers must be paid for all the weeks they
are working. With all these factors, the cost of keeping schools open becomes immensely high. For example, a high school in Arizona
had a cost increase of $157,000 when they switched to year-round schooling. Some schools may not be able to handle such increases,
and other schools that can handle these expenses could be doing better things with the money. Is year-round school really where the
money should go?
An important part of a childs life is summertime. With year-round schedules, students would hardly have any time to relax. During
the 15-day breaks, they would be thinking about their quick return to school. It would also be difficult to coordinate family vacations
with parents work schedules. Similarly, children would not be able to go to most summer camps. One expert, Dr. Peter Scales, says,
The biggest plus of camp is that camps help young people discover and explore their talents, interests, and values. Most schools dont
satisfy all these needs. Kids who have these kinds of [camp] experiences end up being healthier and have fewer problems. Obviously,
the summer is crucial to a childs learning and development. Why should this invaluable part of a young persons life be taken away?
It is evident that year-round schooling is not the best option for the school calendar. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the
traditional school year. Why change something that works so well? The final bell rings. Lets make sure this bell means that the real
summer vacation has come.
Five paragraphs in the body of this essayone for each of the sensesprovide a clear organization pattern that is easy for the reader
to understand. Note that each of the five paragraphs begins with a sentence that repeats the same, simple pattern. This repetition of a
sentence pattern provides unity. The use of an extended metaphorcomparing friendship to the making and baking of breadworks
quite well and shows that Nate, the sixth grade writer of this essay, is willing to take creative risks.
Friendship
A dictionary contains a definition of friendship somewhere in the Fs between the words fear and Friday. An encyclopedia
supplies interesting facts on friendship. But all the definitions and facts do not convey what friendship is really all about. It cannot be
understood through words or exaggerations. The only way to understand friendship is through experience. It is an experience that
involves all the senses.
Friendship can be seen. It is seen in an old couple sitting in the park holding hands. It is the way they touch, a touch as light as a leaf
floating in the autumn air, a touch so strong that years of living could not pull them apart. Friendship is seen in a child freely sharing
the last cookie. It is the small arm over the shoulder of another as they walk on the playground. Seeing friendship is not casual. It is
watching for subtlety, but friendship is there for eyes that can see.
Friendship can be heard. It is heard in the words of two friends who squeezed in lunch together on an extremely busy day. It is the way
they talk to each other, not the words. Their tone is unique. Friendship can be heard by those willing to listen.
Friendship is felt in a touch. It is a pat on the back from a teammate, a high five between classes, the slimy, wet kiss from the family
dog. Its a touch that reassures that someone is there, someone who cares. The touch communicates more than words or gestures. It is
instantly understood and speaks volumes beyond the point of contact, to the heart.
Friendship has a taste. It tastes like homemade bread, the ingredients all measured and planned, then carefully mixed and kneaded,
then the quiet waiting as the dough rises. Hot from the oven, the bread tastes more than the sum of its ingredients. There is something
else there, perhaps the thoughts of the baker as her hands knead the dough, or her patience as she waits for the dough to rise. Unseen
and unmeasured, this is the ingredient that makes the difference. Warm, fresh from the oven with a little butter, the difference you
taste is friendship.
Friendship has a smell. It smells like the slightly burnt cookies your brother made especially for you. It smells like your home when
stepping into it after being away for a long time. It smells like a sandbox or a sweaty gym. Friendship has a variety of smells. Taken
for granted at the moment, they define the memory of friendship.
Finally, more than the other senses, friendship is an experience of the heart. It is the language of the hearta language without words,
vowels, or consonants; a language that, whether seen, felt, heard, or tasted, is understood by the heart. Like air fills the lungs,
friendship fills the heart, allowing us to experience the best life has to offer: a friend.
Karin, the letter writer, speaks knowledgeably and sincerely as she presents a reasonable,
thoughtful request.
355 Hutchinson Road
Pascoag, RI 02859
November 5, 2000


Ms. Anne Cline, Head Cook
Bay High School
4562 Birch Road
Pascoag, RI 02859

Dear Ms. Cline:

Last summer I became a vegetarian. After visiting my uncles farm in Iowa, I couldnt
bear the thought of eating meat anymore.
When school started, I thought I could eat school lunches by simply staying away from
meat dishes. My plan worked for a few weeks, but it got tough to eat peanut-butter
sandwiches and applesauce every day. The school lunch program is great for most
students, but it doesnt work well for vegetarians.
After talking with other vegetarian students, I believe that the lunch program can work
for everyone. Some options are to have a greater variety of side dishes and a salad bar
every day that even nonvegetarians could enjoy. The school lunch program would then
provide something for everyone.
I was happy with the school lunches before I became a vegetarian, and I hope that now
you will be able to offer meals that I can enjoy just as much. Please respond to my
request via school mail, or e-mail <[email protected]>.

Sincerely,
Karin K.
Danielle, the writer of
this memo, presents a clear, organized message. The beginning states the memo's
purpose, the middle provides the necessary details, and the ending explains what happens
next.
Date: October 2, 2000
To: Mr. Marcus
From: Danielle W.
Subject: Mid-project
report on history paper
Heres an update on
my history paper about China. At first I had trouble finding information on my topic, but
Ive made this progress.
1. I went to the library, and Ms. Pate showed me how to use
the computer for my search.
2. After I showed you my project proposal, I took your advice
to look at either Chinese dating practices or wedding traditions, but
not both.
3. After researching both topics, I found several sources on
Chinese wedding traditions, but only a few on dating practices. So I
will write about present-day Chinese wedding customs.
4. I found a Web site with information about Chinese wedding
traditions at <www.travelchinaguide.com>.
5. For my primary research, I interviewed Donna Sung, our
foreign exchange student from Shanghai, about her experiences of
weddings in China.
I will finish my first
draft by next Wednesday and will be on schedule for the deadlines I gave you in my
project proposal.
The last sentence in Marys first paragraph forms the thesis for her research paper: she takes a strong, specific stand on a fairly
controversial subject. The trait of stimulating ideas is evident as the papers clear purpose is supported in the subsequent paragraphs.
Should Smoking Be Banned in
Public Restaurants?
In the perfect situation, smoking policy would be set by bar or restaurant owners, and customers would patronize the establishments
with the policy they prefer. Customers would decidewithout the governments helpif they want to avoid smoke-filled rooms or
enter them. They might even choose to sit in an area sectioned off for smokers or non-smokers, but the ultimate issue is choice
(Ruwart 1). When the government starts telling restaurant owners what their customers can and cannot do, the government is
overstepping its boundaries.
Our government aims to protect usto save us from societys evils. However, in an attempt to protect the public from the effects of
passive smoking (second hand smoke)of which, according to the nonpartisan Congressional Research Service in 1994, the
statistical evidence does not . . . support a conclusion that there are substantive health effects . . . (Krauthammer)the feds have
failed to protect a vital part of the U.S. economic population: business owners. Many people who drink also tend to smoke; banning
drinkers from smoking has hurt business in some bars and restaurants. According to the California Licensed Beverage Association,
business has dropped as much as 85 percent . . . since the prohibition took effect (Bar Owners Vow 1). The decrease in customers
and subsequent loss of revenue has far-reaching effects on employers. A study by the American Beverage Institute entitled Effect of
1998 California Smoking Ban on Bars, Taverns, and Night Clubs asked 300 respondents about the effects of the ban on their
businesses. When asked if the ban caused owners to lay off employees or cut working hours, 29.7 percent of respondents answered
yes; 59 percent gave the same answer when asked if they experienced a loss of tips/gratuities for bar and serving-staff employees
(1). The plight of restaurant and bar owners is often ignored, but it is a serious issue for them and for their employees.
While the argument rages over the effects of smoking on public health, the question that remains is this: How much is society entitled
to penalize smokers for their decisions becausein societys viewthose decisions are unhealthy? (Samuelson). Smoking tobacco is
not an illegal act, yet the 25 percent of Americans who do smoke are often treated as if they were criminals. They are incessantly
nagged, blamed for numerous illnesses and unpleasantries, and made to feel guilty by self-righteous nonsmokers (Bork 28). The
Environmental Protection Agency estimates that living with a smoker increases your chance of lung cancer by 19 percent. What they
fail to tell you is that, in contrast, (firsthand) smoking increases your chance 1,000 percent (Buckley). Why is the act of smoking
tobacco, which merely injures oneself, so scrutinized and shunned by society, while drinking alcohol, which is by far more deadly to
innocent bystanders, is accepted by society and virtually unregulated? (Krauthammer). One may not wish to be seated near an
extremely obese person in a restaurant, but it would certainly be unconstitutional to deny service to these patrons. In modern society,
the government knows better than to discriminate against minorities, senior citizens, or the physically handicapped; it does not
hesitate, however, to discriminate against smokers.
Personal choice is a simple principle that is highly valued in American society. Banning smoking in all public restaurants violates this
principle and jeopardizes our freedom. Smoking should not be banned in all restaurants. A ban on smoking imposes unnecessary
governmental interference in private business, affects business owners negatively, and discriminates against smokers. Like the black
Southerner turned away because of racial segregation, the smoker is unfairly treated. Sadly, just when our government claims to be
whisking away the clouds of smoke, it is legislating a cloud of discrimination.

Works Cited
Bar Owners Vow to Continue to Fight California Smoking Ban; Owners Contend with Disruption, Lost Revenues, and Customer
Dissatisfaction. Forces.org. 24 Feb. 2001. National Smokers Alliance. 26 Feb. 2001
<http://www.forces.org/californ/calud/calud4.htm>.
Bork, Robert H. Addicted to Health. National Review 28 J uly 1997:28-30.
Buckley, William F., J r. Tobacco Settlement Time? National Review 20 April 1998:63.
Effect of 1998 California Smoking Ban on Bars, Taverns, and Night Clubs. abionline.org. American Beverage Institute. 8 March
2001 <http://abionline.org/ca_smoking6.html>.
Krauthammer, Charles. The New Prohibitionism. Time 6 Oct. 1997:112.
Ruwart, Dr. Ask Dr. Ruwart: Libertarians on Smoking Bans. self-gov.org. 19 Mar. 1998. Advocates for Self-Government. 8 Mar.
2001 <http://www.self-gov.org/ruwart/q0028.html>.
Samuelson, Robert J . The Amazing Smoke Screen. Newsweek 30 Nov. 1998:47.
Abigail, the author of this essay, expresses her thoughts and feelings about a songwriter and his words. She analyzes the themes in
Adam Duritzs songs and offers her interpretation of symbolism present in them.
Adams Train of Ghosts
Something happens inside of me when I listen to the music of the Counting Crows. Raw, uncensored emotion pours from the mouth of
lead singer Adam Duritz. His voice seems to naturally synthesize with the background music of guitars, pianos, organs, drums, and
accordions.
When Adam sings, its as if hes ripped open his chest and is exposing his heart and all of its contents, regardless of the cost, because
thats how much his emotions mean to him.
The words of Adams self-written songs (lyrics and piano music) can speak to anybody and convey a vivid mental picture of the mood
present in the music. The bands music and Adams lyrics are best described in the following quote:
Take autumn, with all its leaves falling off of the trees, and the green turning to gold . . . and then the sodden brown of winter, the
coming chill in the air, the sudden clarity of the moon at night, the aching melancholy felt as summer rolls away behind you, and the
world of winter wraps itself around you. If you could take all of this, and all that it means and suggests, and turn it into music, you
would have the Counting Crows. Ean, a fan, from www.annabegins.com
Adam Duritz was born in Baltimore, Maryland, but lived in Boston, Denver, and Dallas before settling down with his family in San
Francisco. Before leading the Crows, Adam was an English major at the University of California at Davis and at Berkeley in the late
80s. He quit school without turning in his thesis because he thought that it wasnt very good. Between the time he dropped out of
school and formed the band, Adam worked a wide array of jobs, getting fired from each one.
An insomniac, Adam has had plenty of idle time to be productive. He claims that his inability to sleep is due to his uneasiness about
letting go of consciousness. He says he cant allow himself to do it. During sleepless nights, Adams true poetic genius takes over. He
just lets himself go, pouring onto paper thoughts about his past relationships and other memories.
Any avid listener will notice that a few recurring metaphors are present in Adams songs: that memories are ghosts and relationships
are trains. The first of these two metaphors is pretty self-explanatory; however, the second needs some explanation. Adam believes
that getting into a realtionship is similar to boarding a train and riding to a final destination with the other person. He feels that in order
to be in a relationship, one must be willing and able to live with the other persons ghosts.
Its quite a beautiful concept about the trains. In his song Ghost Train, Adam sings, Love is like a ghost train rumbling through the
darkness. Remember everything when only memory remains.
Another characteristic that an avid Crows listener will notice is that Adam often sings about particular women. Theres Maria,
Elizabeth, Amy, Anna, Shannon, Amanda, Lisa, and Margery, just to name a few. The two who appear most frequently in Adams
lyrics are Maria and Elizabeth. Adam has said in interviews that Maria is like the female version of himself. He uses this fictional
character in his songs when he wants to express his thoughts but not make it apparent that the song is about him. (However, he has
said that most of his songs are about him or his experiences because thats all he knows.) Elizabeth is an ex-girlfriend of Adams.
They were a couple when the Crows caught their first true glimpse of fame. Elizabeth was in college at the time that Adam was on the
road touring. She was obsessed with the fear that Adam was cheating on her (which he claims he wasnt). As in most cases, the long-
distance relationship didnt work out.
Adam comments that the breakup was for the best; however, his songs including Elizabeth indicate otherwise. The song I Wish I
Was a Girl on the newest album This Desert Life is about Adams desire to make Elizabeth realize that he was faithful to her during
the time that he was away. Theres a double standard when girls say that they were faithful and theyre generally believed, but when
guys say it, nobody believes them. Another song, Goodnight Elizabeth, from the second album, Recovering the Satellites, is Adams
lullaby dedicated to Elizabeth. The lyrics basically express that Adam will always carry a piece of Elizabeth with him. The lyrics say,
I wish you were inside of me/I hope that youre OK/I hope youre resting quietly/I just wanted to say/Goodnight, Elizabeth,
goodnight.
He refers to himself as the king of the rain in a few songs, much like J im Morrison is also known as the Lizard King. Ive tried to
figure out what this rain symbolism means, and my hypothesis is that rain could mean tears or just a bad situation. Possibly he feels
that he inadvertently causes a lot of problems for the people he cares about. As he sings in the song Chelsea, The things I do to
people I love just shouldnt be allowed.
He is quite absorbed in his own feelings, which is sometimes interpreted as egotism, but I get the impression that hes unsure of his
true identity and doesnt really believe in himself. Since he is very sensitive and constantly searching his soul, hes become infatuated
with his own feelings. Hes absorbed in feelings, and I think that people have interpreted that infatuation as egotism.
Adams poetic lyrics move me to the depths of my soul. With just a few words and the emotion in his voice, he can make me feel as if
there is a starry summer night inside of me . . . or a lonely, empty hotel room. There is nostalgia behind his lyrics and a canvas painted
with love, loneliness, devotion, and disappointment.
During the production of the bands first album, Adams most important goal was to make a mark upon the world. If its worth
anything, hes made more than just a mark upon my world; he has painted me a sky and filled it with stars.
This cause/effect essay opens with a brief explanation of a case in which a herd of elephants is spared from death, but then goes on to
explain how that is not typicalthat, in fact, elephants are headed toward extinction. Michelle, the author, clearly establishes the main
causes of this situation, as well as their sad effects.
Save the Elephants
What should be done with a herd of marauding elephants? This was the problem recently confronting officials at Pilanesberg National
Park in South Africa. A number of orphaned male elephants had been transported to the park in order to provide them with a safe and
nurturing environment. However, this step to protect the elephant population soon threatened another endangered species.
The young elephants had entered musth, like puberty, a state of heightened hormonal activity and increased aggression. The elephants
went on a killing spree, slaying almost 40 rhinocerosincluding incredibly rare black rhinos. The park officials did not want to kill
the young elephants, but they could not afford to have any more rhinos slaughtered.
Oddly enough, the solution to this disastrous situation was to bring more male elephants into the park. This time, however, they were
full-grown bull elephants. In almost no time at all, a previously impossible hierarchy had been established, and the orphaned males fell
right into place. As of yet, no rhino killings have been reported.
The Pilanesberg story has a positive ending, but many elephants are not as lucky. The elephant population in Africa has been
drastically reduced by loss of habitat to cultivation and urbanization, and many have been orphaned by poachers cashing in on the
ivory trade. Some biologists believe that if elephant numbers continue to drop, it will soon be impossible to save the species.
Elephants are amazing creatures. As well as holding the title of "largest land animal," they are also among the most intelligent. An
elephant has 150,000 muscle units in its trunk, can swim long distances without tiring, walks almost silently despite weighing about 7
tons, can travel up to 6,000 miles in a year while searching for food, and can live 60 years. Full-grown elephants have no natural
enemies, other than humans.
Like most animals, elephants have an enormous effect on the other animals in their habitat. Eating 165-330 pounds of food a day, an
elephant can clear thick brush into open savannah in no time, creating an open habitat for other animals. Several tree species rely
almost solely on the elephant to scatter their seeds. If the elephant were to disappear, these life-forms would bear the consequences.
With only 2 elephant species left out of 600, the danger of extinction is imminent. If the population in any particular area drops below
100 individuals (as it has in several parks), that population is virtually doomed, having entered an extinction vortex. Continued
inbreeding leads to genetic deterioration, which results in fewer reproductive males and females being born. The numbers begin to
drop, and the cycle continues until the population completely dies out. Evidence of this genetic deterioration can be seen in elephant
tusks, which are gradually becoming smaller. All elephants with exceptionally large tusks have already been poached.
Humans have always taken advantage of the incredible strength and endurance of elephants. Hannibal, the Carthaginian general, used
elephants to carry his supplies across the Alps in the third century. Elephants have been ridden onto the battlefield, have been trained
to carry heavy logs, and were even used during World War II to drag military equipment up steep slopes. We have used elephants to
our advantage for more than 2,000 years.
Now we are destroying them. Poaching is the chief reason that elephants are brought closer to extinction every day. From 1986 to
1989, 300,000 African elephants were killed for their ivory tusks. In 1986 alone, 75 percent of raw ivory came from illegal
poachingthe equivalent of 89,000 elephants. Recently, laws have been instituted that completely ban any hunting of the endangered
elephants. However, this has only made poaching easier; without professional hunters carefully patrolling their favorite hunting
blocks, park rangers alone are left to deal with poachers. Carrying outdated World War II rifles, the rangers are no match for ruthless
poachers with AK-17s, who have been known to kill rangers, local farmers, and even tourists to avoid capture.
The poaching trade began in earnest in 1971, when a severe drought killed 9,000 elephants in a Kenyan game reserve. Neighbors of
the park moved in to collect ivory. They found it was very profitable, and when the supply dwindled and they could no longer simply
pick it up from the ground, they turned to the living elephants. In 1973 there were 167,000 elephants in Kenya. By 1987, there were
only 20,000 left.
Raw ivory is shipped by smugglers to factories where it is either carved into sculptures or converted into Chinese medicines (which
may actually have very little medicinal value). Before President Bushs 1989 ban, the United States was one of the largest importers of
worked ivory in the world. Major consumers of ivory today include China, Hong Kong, India, Taiwan, and J apan. The demand for
ivory in these countriesas well as the price paid to poachershas increased over the years, in some places by 1000 percent.
Weapons are also more available due to the civil wars and political unrest in certain African countries. These factors have contributed
to increased poaching and will ultimately contribute to the demise of elephants.
Many attempts have been made to stamp out poaching in African game reserves, but law enforcement has proved extremely difficult.
Lack of funding for conservation projects and for staff to patrol the parks is a major obstacle in the quest to protect threatened species.
In addition, many poachers are not the professionals seen on TV, with trucks full of supplies, traps, and technologically advanced
weapons. Instead, they come from poor communities adjacent to major parks. The people in these communities have to put up with
harassment from wild animals, and they rarely get anything in return. Consequently, they do not object to making some money at the
expense of an elephant or two. The scenario is common in the poor countries of Africa, such as Kenya, where 30 million hungry
people are crowded into an area the size of Texas.
Officials in Zimbabwe and Botswana have tried to remedy this problem in an interesting fashion. They granted ownership of all the
wild animals in a certain area to the nearest village or community. Contrary to public expectations, this method was relatively
successful. The communities managed resources carefully, monitored their animals well, and even earned money from safari
expeditions. As it turns out, a trophy hunter spends 100 times more to shoot a single animal than an average tourist spends to just look.
Unfortunately, community ownership of animals seemed to work only in areas with large areas of land and few people.
Another approach taken to prevent peasants from turning to poaching was to use money generated by park tourism to build clinics and
provide educational programs for surrounding communities. However, because some parks do not attract as many tourists as others
do, and also because of the sheer number of poor villages, the benefits were spread too thinly.
In recent years, the number of elephant killings due to poaching has decreased, largely due to the worldwide ban (since 1990) on the
trade of ivory. However, the illegal trade continues, and as long as it does, poachers will be a part of it. The poaching problem is
incredibly intricate. Fueled by the illicit trade to southeast Asia and the rest of the world, it is also the result of a lack of education and
public services in African villages.
It is evident that a single country cannot successfully combat poaching and the loss of elephant habitat. The world needs to unite like
never before if we want to save our remaining elephants.
Tenth-grade writer J ulie develops her report with plenty of information and quotations
from her subject, T. McDowell. Readers get a clear picture of McDowells determined
business sense as well as his dreams for the future.

Student Entrepreneur
Reaches for Dreams of the Sky
Youve got to know your own value, know what you want, and stick with it.
Thats what T. McDowells advice to others is, and its certainly worked for him. This
high school senior is currently the sole owner of Immersion Immaging, a successful
company specializing in Internet commerce solutions and on-line financial databasing.
McDowell began the company in 1996, although it was originally called 4th Dimension
Graphics. Two years later, the company was reorganized as Immersion Immaging.
Surprisingly, he didnt begin the company with the assistance of any partners, but instead
founded it on his own with the experience and contacts that he already had.
Its always been a one-person operation, and its going to stay that way for a while. I
could easily take on partners or expand the business some more, but I want to keep it this
way for now, McDowell said. Even now, McDowell does everything himself, from
marketing and management to the actual coding that he writes for his clients Web sites.
I remember one time that I worked for over 800 hours on one site and never really got
paid for it. Ive learned since then, McDowell said.
Thus far, he has worked for such companies as Online Devices International, Greystone
Peripherals, and Publicard, Inc. He works on Web site design along with Internet
marketing solutions and other aspects of Internet commerce.
I dont have any lack of contracts right now. I like it because its flexible, so that if I
need more income, I can get the business I need; and if I take a break for a while, I dont
have any problems, McDowell said.
Spending between 30 and 60 hours a week at his business, Immersion Immaging,
provides him with a steady income, although he admits that it takes up much of his free
time. A lot of the time [on the business] is spent after school and late at night, and my
parents dont really like that too much. Otherwise, though, theyre really supportive of
the whole thing, McDowell said.
Part of the reason McDowell ended up in the computer industry might be explained by
the exposure he had as a child. Even as a teenager, most of his friends were older and
connected to the computer industry. Even though Im younger than most other people in
the technology business, it hasnt mattered much. A lot of my friends throughout my life
have been older than me, so Im used to it, McDowell said.
In his freshman year, McDowell worked at a company called PC Powercomp and
familiarized himself with the business and the technical aspects of it. Having already
started learning various on-line languages at the beginning of junior high school,
McDowell was well prepared to enter this field.
When I started out with computers, it was mainly because I didnt have much else to do;
so it was a good way to use my time, and its turned out to be pretty good, McDowell
said. However, he spends his free time on more than just computers. His real interest lies
in aviation, which he has pursued for more than six years. As a licensed pilot, he
currently owns two airplanes and has ambitions to enter the aviation field one day,
probably in airplane design.
Now I work with computers mostly because it gives me a reliable source of income. Id
really rather be in aviation, but I may keep this going so that Ill always have it to fall
back on, McDowell said. For now, aviation is still a hobby, but if his entrepreneurial
spirit and success with his business are signs of whats to come, McDowell wont have a
problem realizing his dreams of the sky.
Back to student-models page
Michelle (grade 11) develops this eyewitness account by answering the 5 Ws and H about her parents becoming American citizens.
The writer also shares her sensory impressions.
Anticipating the Dream
And we are scatterlings of Africa
On a journey to the stars
Far below we leave forever
Dreams of what we were.
Johnny Clegg

I am sitting with my grandparents in the spectators section of the echoing auditorium, my baby brother on my lap. Im not sure what I
expected this morning, but thus far it has been an incredibly boring experience. The judge is half an hour late, and to add to that,
Graeme, my brother, is tired and fussing, and would evidently much prefer his mothers lap to mine. Unfortunately for him, my
parents and older brother are sitting on the other side of the room with almost 200 others. Thirty-one countries are represented here
today.
This is a citizenship ceremony. My parents, my older brother, and I were all born in South Africa. After living in the United States for
13 years, they are finally becoming citizens. I am not yet 18; consequently, I have to wait for my parents to obtain citizenship before I
am eligible. All my younger siblings were born here, and are therefore Americans by birth.
Graeme was only momentarily distracted by the book we brought along to amuse him. He is now struggling noisily to climb off my
lap. Its time to bring out the secret weapon: candy. I just hope my supply doesnt dwindle too quickly.
In our particular situation, it seems rather odd that the citizenship process works this way. Having lived here since I was two, I have
always been more American than anything else. I dont speak Afrikaans, but my parents do (as well as English). I am the one who
briefed my mother on American history and government before she took the citizenship test. Not only that, but I am always having to
remind my parents that the word is flashlight, not torch, and that here in America we have a tooth fairy, not a mouse, who comes to
fetch our teeth. After today, my parents will be Americans, and I will be the unique one, the alien, the only South African remaining in
our house. How bureaucratic of the American government to work that way.
The judge has arrived, and now that everyone has stopped talking, Graeme has started to cry. I make a hasty retreat up the slanted aisle
to the back of the room. Maybe I can rock him to sleep.
I have often asked my parents why we moved here from our homeland, and from what Ive gathered, there are several reasons.
Foremost is apartheid, the total segregation of South Africa, whereby whites held all power and blacks were not even allowed to vote.
The government established separate buses, bathrooms, even public lawns. My parents, who are by no means radical, were very
strongly against apartheid and were arrested for protesting. They were released in the next moment because they were white, while
their black friends were hauled off to jail. The atmosphere was growing more volatile every day, and when the building across the
street from where my mother worked was bombed, my parents decided that it was no longer safe to stay, especially with two small
children. Consequently, my father took advantage of the first opportunity to get a job here in America. It must be incredibly difficult
to live in a country that is so immoral, where people are looked down upon simply because their skin happens to be a different shade.
How can you pledge allegiance to a government responsible for the obvious evil around you every day? America was segregated at
one point also, but at least the government called it separate but equal. In South Africa, the government did not even attempt to
bring about equality. Can anyone take pride in a government like that?
Graeme is finally asleep, drooling on my shoulder, and I can return, victorious, to my seat. The judge has been giving a speech about
the privileges and responsibilities that come with being an American citizen. Im beginning to understand why my parents are so
excited about this day. At first I expected nothing of great importance to occur in this ceremony. I imagined we would arrive here, say
the Pledge of Allegiance, and my parents would receive a piece of paper declaring them American citizens. As it turns out, a lot
more is involved than the mere title. Today my parents will not only become eligible to vote and serve on jury duty, but they will
automatically become part of American history, culture, and society. The United States becomes their country, a land that kindles
pride. All of a sudden, they have a duty to serve this country and to be loyal to it above all others. It is a colossal decision for them to
make.
South Africa is a beautiful nation. My parents grew up there and have many fond recollections. They remember visiting game
preserves and finding lions in the middle of the road. They remember going to school with their friends and tormenting substitute
teachers. The different snacks they atebiltong, Chappie gum, and Bovrilcould never be found in the United States. My parents
remember getting married in the city of Florida on February 2, 1980. Im certain it must have been difficult to leave everything,
including family, and move to America. Now, at this ceremony, everything is becoming finalized. They will no longer be a part of
South Africa, but South Africa will always be a part of them. They have given up the past in anticipation of the future, one filled with
hope for greater peace, prosperity, and happiness: the American Dream.
I scan the room, the many different faces of my fellow spectators: grandparents, parents, and children of various races. Anyone can
read the pride in their eyes as they watch their loved ones from across the room. I snap to attention. People are rising. This is the
moment; they are about to take the oath. Now I have grown just as excited as my parents seemed to be this morning. My mothers
smile tells me she is enjoying herself. Right hands raised, the would-be citizens repeat after the judge the words that will change their
lives forever. Piles of paperwork and months of waiting are now fulfilled in a few simple words. As the final echoes of the judges
words die out, I hardly hear his congratulations. One fact only is the focus of my thoughts: my parents and another brother are
Americans. All my older brothers and my sister are Americans. Soon it will be my turn, and I can hardly wait.
Lindsey's essay is well organized, explaining her interest in public speaking from her
childhood to the present. Her conclusion focuses on the next logical step in the
sequencethe future.
My Greatest Instrument
Some people express themselves through beautiful art; others are masters of the page
and speak silently through writing. I, on the other hand, express myself with the
greatest instrument I have, my voice.
Nothing gives me more satisfaction than public speaking. I have been involved in
communications events most of my life. At age eight I realized that I belonged in front
of an audience. I started giving demonstrations and speeches in local county 4-H
competitions until I was eligible to participate in state competitions. I won every state
competition that I entered.
Soon other public speaking opportunities arose; I represented an artist named Ann
Cross at the Art Walk in Keene and was an active participant on the debate team and
the captain in eighth grade. During March of eighth grade, I had the best opportunity
ever to practice my oratorical skills: I was selected, out of all the students entered in
New Hampshire, to write and read a four-minute speech on national television. My job
was to introduce Elizabeth Dole, who at the time was interested in running for
president.
I was notified the day before the event and so had only one night to write and
memorize my speech. When I arrived the next morning in Bedford, New Hampshire, I
was greeted by photographers, camera crews, and newspaper reporters! Then I was
escorted backstage to meet Elizabeth Dole. After speaking briefly with her and having
her review my speech, we marched through a crowd of flashing bulbs to our places on
the stage.
Soon it was time for my speech. I was introduced, and as I walked to the podium, I
couldnt help but smile at the audience. I had a feeling of complete exhilaration
flowing through my veins. When I finished, I received a standing ovation, and Mrs.
Dole surprised me by giving me a great hug and thanking me for my comments on the
importance of education. But even after she finished speaking, the excitement was far
from over.
I was with her for all her photographs, and I was interviewed for a few moments by
WMUR and later by the Keene Sentinel. After the media finished with us, I met
various supporters of Mrs. Doles. They were all happy to meet me and flooded me
with questions and praise. I truly felt on top of the world. From that day on, public
speaking became my life.
Since then I have participated in various competitions and events. My favorite by far
was Young Chataqua, a wonderful summer program. In Chataqua I portrayed the life
of Margaret Bourke-White, a pioneer photographer, in a 12-minute monologue that
took a month to research, prepare, and memorize. It was the most amazing experience
of my life. Although the other students and I were only expected to perform our
monologues once, two other organizations asked me to speak.
After Chataqua, I participated in my first play, Everybodys Crazy, and I am currently
organizing a debate team with Mrs. Lester. I plan to continue my 4-H activities, do
volunteer work, go to Chataqua next summer, and hopefully participate in the
American Legions Oratorical Contest next year.
Back to student-models page

I have this fear. It causes my legs to shake. I break out in a cold sweat. I start jabbering to anyone who is nearby. As thoughts of
certain death run through my mind, the world appears a precious, treasured place. I imagine my own funeral, then shrink back at the
implications of where my thoughts are taking me. My stomach feels strange. My palms are clammy.
I am terrified of heights.
Of course, its not really a fear of being in a high place. Rather, it is the view of a long way to fall, of rocks far below me and no firm
wall between me and the edge. My sense of security is screamingly absent. There are no guardrails, flimsy though I picture them, or
other safety devices. I can rely only on my own surefootednessor lack thereof.
Despite my fear, two summers ago I somehow found myself climbing to a high place, while quaking inside and out. Most of our high
school had come along on a day trip to the Boquern, a gorgeous, lush spot in the foothills of Peru. Its prime attraction is the main
waterfall, about 100 feet high, that thunders into a crystal clear pool feeding the Aguaytia River. All around the pool and on down to
the rushing river are boulders large and small. The beach is strewn with rocks. On both sides of the fall, the jungle stretches to meet it,
rising parallel to it on a gentler slope.
After eating our sack lunches within sight and sound of the fall, many of us wanted to make the climb to an area above it. We knew
others had done so on previous trips. A few guys went first to make sure they were on the right path. But after they left, my group of
seven decided to go ahead without waiting for them to return. I suspected we were going the wrong way, but I kept silent, figuring that
the others knew better. We went along the base of the hill until we reached the climb. It stopped me in my tracks.
The climb ascended steeply above us. Along the right edge the jungle hugged the rocks; passage through its trees did not look feasible.
The majority of my view was filled with rocks. Looming high to the sky, the boulders rose in a tiered manner. Peering back down
toward the river, I saw a steep slope of rocks all the way to the water. All I could think about was how far it would be to fall.
My tense thoughts were interrupted by the realization that my friends were already beginning to climb! My anxiety increased as I
watched them.
Do I turn back? My whole being shouted, Yes! Will I regret it later? I really want to get to the top, but
I voiced my uncertainties to my friends. They dismissed my fears and encouraged me to stick it out. Questioning my own sanity, I
decided at least to attempt the climb.
I chose a path that seemed easiest. My friend Tom was ahead of me. Then, suddenly, he slipped and slid backward about 10 feet! I
watched, paralyzed, until he stopped himself and assured us he was all right. My heart was hammering.
Now those who had tried the other way came back; it had not worked. Consoling myself that my friend Seth would be right behind
me, I shakily began the ascent. The path led up a narrow area between boulders. In it, we reached a place where there just were no
good handholds. Seth braced my foot, and those above sent down words of encouragement. I was soon past the first challenge safely,
but not feeling much better about the rest of the climb.
The difficulties only increased from that point on, with scary spot after scary spot. Though I knew I should not look down, I could not
always ignore the long drop to the boulders below. My breathing sped up, but my heart pounded even faster, growing loud in my ears.
My friends kept right on climbing. But they did not forget me. Someone was always behind me to help hold my feet steady when
necessary, and someone else was always ahead to offer a hand up. I trusted them more than myself; I knew my feet could easily slip.
With friends supporting me by words and actions, I slowly gained ground.
Finally we came to the worst section yet. To me the slope looked very close to vertical. The slight handholds were few and far
between. Being short, I knew the stretches would be difficult enough in normal conditions. In my current panic, it would be much
worse. The alternative was to go back down. Which was more difficult? I didn't want to go either way, but obviously I had to go
somewhere.
The trouble was, we were not getting any nearer to the falls. By now, we realized that this route was not the way most frequented! But
knowing this did not get me any closer to safety.
Since getting up this next part was next to impossible, and waiting for a rescue helicopter was not an option, with fear and trembling I
decided to go down, but not by myself. Melody agreed to go with me, earning my eternal gratitude. She paused to pray for safety; I
did not trust my voice enough to pray aloud.
Now, with our backs to the rocks, the drop was continually in our line of vision. It seemed even steeper than before. The song Angels
Watching Over Me ran through my head as we began, Melody going first. I kept up a steady stream of chatter, my trembling voice
betraying my fear.
One of the first tough places we came to gave us trouble. Cautiously stretching one foot down, Melody could not reach the bottom of
the boulder. A slip would mean an extremely long drop. So we tried a different route where a fall would be shorter. It was somewhat
wet and would entail a short slide to reach the bottom.
Melody made it safely. I hesitated, unsure of my footing, and picturing myself at the bottom of the cliff, bones broken and pain
wracking my body, if I still lived.
You can do it! I'm right here, Melody called. She waited patiently, not pressuring me to hurry.
Inching carefully to the edge, I could see in the corner of my eye the boulders and river far below. As I started down the rock, my foot
slipped! My heart jumped into my throat as the terror I had held just under the surface swept over me.
I'm gonna fall! I inwardly shrieked.
It had been only a small slip, however; I was not in midair! I took a few calming breaths, and my heart repositioned itself where it
belonged.
With no further mishaps, we came eventually to the last troublesome spot, the stretch between two boulders that had given me
problems on the way up. Thankfully, the rest of our friends had given up climbing to the top and had now caught up to us. There were
two possible descents from here. One way included a short jump down. I decided to check out the other way. Seth was working his
way down this second route when he fell a few feet and bruised himself! I again looked over the first option.
Do I want to jump? Theres a big drop if I jump wrong or dont stop on the ledge! But the other way!
I knew if I was to get down, it would have to be Seths way. He was willing to help me however he could. I inspected the path he
had taken. There was some low vegetation, matted down and sloping slightly toward the edge. Then came a drop down to a narrow
inlet between rocks. That was not so bad. The hitch lay in the fact that there was no handholds or footholds, and my short legs would
not reach to the rocks.
Uh, I dont know about this. I dont like the looks of it! I said, my voice quavering.
You can make it, Amy! I'm right here. I wont let you fall, Seth promised.
Slowly, painstakingly, I backed over the vegetation.
Im coming down, I warned, my voice unsteady.
Im ready, answered Seth. I got you.
His assurances gave me the strength to go on. I trusted him implicitly. Flattening myself onto my belly, I edged my feet into midair.
Seth held them tightly and slowly lowered me, guiding my feel to a firm place as I let my body slide over the leaves, twigs, and rock.
When my feet made contact with the solid rock, I heaved a huge sigh of relief. I could feel the fear draining out of me.
My arms and legs were scratched up; I was dirty and sweaty. But none of it mattered. I was at the bottom!
Yaaaaaaahhhh! I yelled. I never felt so alive, and so thankful for that life.