Yo, what's up...so here is the unknown life or a kid brought up destroyed...

I will divide my life into 4 sections: Background, my childhood, my worst days, my

1)Back ground:

I am just a random fag yes a fag...numb as hell...but i do have lots of friends

I am from Egypt my fagget country full of phony and unrealistic people.

I am Muslim and do believe in god.

I never had a girl friend or had sex as it is forbidden.

I am a 15 years old dude who never had his body builded and have maximum
depressions...

i can be immature and mature...i am just a fag you know....

I am not a mom's boy in fact i am the strictly opposite.

I do hate my life and wants to end it but as a Muslim i cant because it's
forbidden to kill my self because god gave us our life as a test so you decline
the test you fail.

I didn't have any problems as a gf cheating on my or something (even if i had a

2)My child hood age 1~11.

As a normal kid i was born in a medium economical level in Egypt near the
pyramids, my father is an programmer and my mother a normal salary counter...
My life was not a bad one but i have to say there were something in the inner of
me telling me it will be a bad life or just i can't look except in the darkest of
my life.

Mainly, normal kids in Egypt goes to a sports club so they can grow up in a
sporting and social life but i couldn't manage to go there as my economical states
was bad (i mean my father was not that rich).He only concentrated on my schooling
system which is the worst thing in my life (You will know why in the 2nd and the
3rd chapters).He used to beat me in the age of 6 hardly because my English grammar
mistakes, however, i didn't learn English by his way and he failed to teach me
English by beating me but he helped me to get my A* tests till my age were 8 my
mother was pregnant again. these days were my worst, so as my mother had to leave
me for a while with my father so he can teach me all about the subjects and i
started to study on my own from the age of 9 years old (NOTE schooling in Egypt
leads to suicidal problems in later ages as it is so hard, pointless, and tiring
and who fails in it fails in his job/economical state/social life...this means a
man got 1 chance to build he future, he fails, he failed in his life).However i
were treated badly, bad enough for a 8 years old, i do remember my self in my
stinky clothes and my smelly body and so were my father, he used to work as a
transported in his young ages and sleep in the trunk or a random nests for people
in Egypt so he took on the hardest life, he used to yell at my mother a lot and
when ever they want to settle it out my aunts/uncles must interrupt the fight and
bring them back to normal then they blame it on my birth day as problems showed up
after my birth, in fact my mother is so paranoid, she always get's worried if my
temperature went 1 Celsius degree more, she used to panic hardly and my father who
took on the random life used to get annoyed he just said let it go and he will be
alright and she used to get so so much worried and sit sad which was not admired
from my father...they made many problems he told me when i were 8 to look after
her and he said "I know you may be so young for it, but i will divorce her soon"
how ever he didn't, he just continued his life with her, badly done....he used to
beat me till i were 12 years old...then he stopped and then i realized who am i
and what am i and what is a person...you, my reader may not understand what i do
mean, i mean: from the age 1~11 i didn't go out of my house except rarely..i
witnessed every fight of my mom and dad, how ever i used to ignore it but god
knows how i felt... as this child hood i spent my summer holidays (yes my good
part in my life right?)masturbating like 1~5 times a day (i didn't know what is
that) or camping on Counter strike as a computer nerd in a new flat but in the
same building of my home (my father is the owner of my home so one of the guys who
rented the flat died and my father got it back so i went to live there alone...i
hated to live in my home due to increasing yelling between my mother and father
and young brother..he is just repeating my life...but worst...as my father now is
1000 times worst than the past times).
_____________________________

3)My worst years in my life12~14.

Coming out from the primary school to my preparatory school, i knew nothing of
streets as i didn't use to go to clubs or any other place than my aunt and my
school and my home.

My first mistake was that i changed from my school to another one and it did
affect me as i was like unknown guy and they had some rude community till you
approve yourself, how ever i were a good dude there, my first friend there had
exactly the same name of mine..how ironic we both share the same name but he is my
opposite...he is the most successful dude in school now, as he have lots of
friends and most of them are girls, in my age of 12 i didn't show interest except
in girls, which used to ignore me as i am an unknown guy in the school...

One day i loved a girl (was the first time in my life) she knew but i guess she
repelled me in a cute way...she loved my friend but he ignored here...i had a hard
year regardless it is the best school year till now...looking back when i was
young i wanted to decide which school year is the best for me but...nothing was
good all sux.

My friend and only one this year was like the big dude of our classes and he used
to check me so often i mean he showed some care about stuff about me (No homo)...i
knew then they all share a certain club but i couldn't join there as my father
economical life is bad very bad...(i didn't mention some days we had to eat some
random shit like wet bread as break fast/lunch and there were no dinner...) only
god knows why we had so bad economics may be he used to spend on stuff that were
nothing important (We have 3 computers in home he thinks it his lab lol...he is
living in his imagination).

this was the first year in my prep school the summer was worst...by this time i
felt i am so ignored in my life...i started to have my depression in the advance
levels (yes i had depression from the age of 10 near the period i used to
masturbate...) i spent this summer exploring the internet and still masturbating
but on porn tube and adult movies...so my friends in the new school didn't see me
they just ignored me....(oh i forgot to tell every cool activity in my school used
to be shut down by my father as he said"Stop wasting your time and go memorize
your stuff")my father used to call me 3 words only (Worthless) (Stupid) (Decisive
guy) as he thought i was pretended to be an depressed guy...lol...yeah i am a
decisive dude who pretended this... -_-"

Second year came up, my spirit were bad from the summer and the school work was so
hard i used to memorize like 5 books to pass the year (each book 100+ pages)...at
this period i knew the rap music and used to build my English skills in summer
from the internet, i was introduced to Eminem's rap songs and they really reminded
me by similar dark days in my life so i guess i am one of his fans.

I used to go to school every day, make my home works at nigh i used to make my day
upside down i go to school from 8am to 3 am then 1 hour to return to home so 4 am
in home i used to eat in 1 hour as i am watching t.v. then i go to sleep from 5 am
to 12 am then wake up from 12 am so sleepy already but i was forced to do my home
works and memorize stuff..day after day week after week from my age of 8 til now i
am doing this...same shit different day but the sh!t is so hard now as i must
memorize like 10 books each 200 page+ (school in Egypt ftw huh?) anyway let me
concentrate on this year...i passed from this year hardly summer came i did so bad
as the last summer nerd on comp 24hours in the day in my prison (my room in the
other flat)...
_____________________________

4)Hardcore life late 14~15.

3rd year (Last year) of the prep school is almost here, this year is different
why? because in Egypt there are some years that needs some special work the last
year in the primary school and I've passed it with 98.9% so i joined a decent prep
school (studying level).the last year in the preparatory school so i can join a
decent high school and the last 2 years of high school need's work to join a
decent college if i failed in this 2 years i will not join a college this means i
will not have a decent job in my cursed country so my life will fail...as if it is
not a fail -_-

anyway, the previous 2 years i used to memorize my books but just to pass the
year, this year i must memorize my stuff so i can get a 95%+... nothing special
about this year except that i planed in my summer holiday i will do stuff i will
join a gym and start to build my body...after all my nerd wanted to be a proper
human being...but oh i passed my exams with 93.3% ( FAIL FAIL FAIL) of course i
will fail (not to mention my ill treatment of my father, i used to live alone and
have my food brought from the main flat some days i had no food he always used to
yell at me as the worthless human being...well i kinda agree with him now...i am
just a waste of oxygen and waste of food and waste of every thing. summer holiday
came, i wanted to join stuff and go to gym and stuff all these stuff needed
money...my father used to frustrates me...he succeeded i camped on my comp...but
this time i was aware of what i am doing, and i was aware of my waste of my
time..but i didn't want to face my self...so my day in any summer holiday was like
that: from 1 am to 11 am ( all the night) i am playing some stupid mmorpg games
from 11am to 12am sleeping and this 1 hour left for eating and stuff...all of this
in my prison (my room)...i knew about my stuff and i was so aware of my doomed
life...till the day came of the new year of the school...i am still in the same
school but every thing changed now many of my friends are not there, and my friend
(the dude who shares my name) ignores me since the 2nd year of prep so as most of
the players in my school (Who hang out with girls)...lol...

1st year secondary (1st year in my high school)(15 years old) ok this is when my
life story ends....i am in the 3rd week in the 1st year secondary same stuff
different year but this time i have many suicidal thoughts as my father treats me
worst and worst and my studying is going too bad, i just escaped my exam due to my
lack of memorizing...i hate memorizing...m IQ was like 135 now it is 125 or
something...and it is decreasing...i am collapsing...yeah iam collapsing
hardly...atm i have 10 syringes of morphine liquidized....i guess i will end it
here? c yaaa

Notes:
1)This is a simplified edition of my life
2)My best friend is a dude who shares the same life style as mine, if he didn't
share it then there would be no any best friends in my life
3)Most of my friends were lost due to my changing of school from the primary to
the preparatory...oh well...see you in different dimensions :).