The Profanisaurus

A
aardvark v. US To shag; bonk; go horizontal jogging. a bit n. Some of the other (qv), but not necessarily an entire ortion (qv). ACAB !ll "o ers !re #astar$s. %o ular forehea$ tattoo. acorn n. That little bell en$(qv) from &hich tall oaks gro&... &hen you get &oo$ (qv). Admiral Browning n. "hocolate log; that &hich sinks the #ismarck (qv). afterburner n. 'f farts an$ farting, a yroflatulatory anal announcement; blue streak (qv). aim Archie at the Armitage eu h. Urinate. !lso oint %ercy at the orcelain. air bags n. #reasts. air biscuit n. (art; botty bur . (loating bo$y of trouser gas. !s in )"oul$ you o en a &in$o&. * think somebo$y has launche$ an air biscuit ). air your guts v. To uke. airing the orchid v. #eating about the bush; gusset ty ing (qv). ('rchi$ is also +reek for testicle). almond n. ,. rhyming slang %enis; cock. (rom -almon$ rock.. /. 'riginal rhyming slang Socks. 0. !n im erial measure of semen, a ro1imately one stomach full. almond flakes See mammary $an$ruff. anal announcement n. 2as ing noise ma$e by the lay of no1ious air through the s hincter; fart; chuff; beef; trouser trum et; anal e1halation. angel n. %illo& biter; assive male homose1ual. See also s onge. anus n. 3octor4s eak for the council gritter (qv). apache n. ,. Se1 &ithout a con$om; ri$ing bare back. /. %o ular hit by si1ties guitar combo The Sha$o&s. apeshit a$j. 5ental; ballistic; $oolally. Aphrodites Evostick n. Semen; human bon$ing flui$. See also +loy, glue gun. apple catchers n. +enerously ro ortione$ knickers for the fuller figure. aris n. "onvolute$ cockney rhyming slang for arse. (rom !ristotle 4 bottle 4 bottle an$ )glarse) 4 arse. around the world n. ,. 2ub4a4tug sho (qv) equivalent of a sugar cone $ouble 66 &ith ras berry sauce an$ hun$re$s an$ thousan$s. /. !us.

7icking the rim (qv). arse ,. n. 'nce the official term for the +ary +litter (qv), no& re lace$ by anus. /. e1clam. ! negative re ly, e1 ressing $enial. !s in )3i$ you steal my encil8) )3i$ * arse). arsecons n. 'f information technology, those com uter keyboar$ symbols use$ illustratively to in$icate the con$ition of an arse. e.g. 9ormal arse (:;:) 7ar$ arse (::;::) Tight arse (;) Sore arse (:<:) Slack arse (:o:) etc. arse-feta n. That ine$ible cheese(qv) mature$ in the narro& assage lea$ing to "a$bury alley (qv). arse-grapes n. 3escri tive term for 9obbies(qv); haemorrhoi$s. arse-piss n. 3iarrhoea; rusty &ater; anal fire &ater; =a flag juice. arseholed a$j. *nto1icate$; shit4face$; rat4arse$; blotto; having artaken in an e1cess of &allo (qv). arse man n. >e &ho refers arses to legs or tits. Arsenal are at home eu h. 9ick >ornby.s bir$ is chasing the cotton mouse; has the ainters in, etc. !rsenal can be re lace$ by any football team &ho lay in re$. Scotlan$ !ber$een etc. arse wipe n. Toe rag; menial erson. artichoke n. !us. Ugly sla er; &rinkly boot. articulate the archdea-con See bash the bisho . art pamphlet n. ! jazz or scu$ magazine; one han$e$ rea$ing material. ass n. US That art of the bo$y the &hoo ing of &hich in$icates a com rehensive victory, an$ of &hich the invitation to kiss is often ma$e rhetorically. assets n. 'f #ritish tabloi$ journalism, a girl.s breasts. at it a$j. ?ngage$ in co ulation. The use of this term is restricte$ to $isa roving neighbours. !s in )Tssch. Soun$s like those t&o ne1t $oor are at it again). audition the finger puppets v. Shuffling the @it4@at. See @it4@at shuffler. auntie n. 'l$ quean (qv). aunt ary n. Aagina. (9ot to be confuse$ &ith auntie or 5ary). auntys round eu h. girls eak ! visit &hich, not unlike having the ainters in, can affect a girl.s social life. !s in )Sorry love, not to$ay. !unty.s roun$. #ut * can lay tennis if you like). awaken the bacon v. Se1ually arouse the male; stimulate the enis; olish the ork s&or$ (qv). a!e wound n. !lso hairy a1e &oun$. That central vertical $ivision in a la$ies bo1 (qv); gash; vulva.

A"tec two-step n. 3iarrhoea $ance along the lines of the Tijuana cha4 cha. !lso Turkish t&o4ste .

B
babys dinners (ba4beez $i4naz) n. #reasts; tits; ink assion blancmanges. babia ma#ora US n. Buantity of babes; attractive girls. baby gravy eu h. Semen; smegma. !lso baby bullion. baccy pouch n. 'vergro&n ma atasi(qv). See also ant moustache, bear tra er.s hat. back door con$uistador n. !n ombre &ho &ears a coco sombrero (qv). back door boogie n. ,. >eterose1ual The ritual $ance &hich accom anies a game of hi$e the salami(qv) &hen laying canine rules. /. !"C3" The theme tune for %ot #ro&n. backfire v. To fart; blo&4off. back passage n. !nal e1it an$Cor entrance. back scuttle v. To scuttle (qv) from the back. backstroke roulette See hitch4hiking un$er the big to . back seat driver ,. n. "ar assenger &ho criticises the $riving of another. /. n. +entleman &ho uts his si1th gearstick (qv) u the e1haust i e of another. backwards burp n. (art; air $um ; tree monkey. back wheels n. #ollocks; balls. !s in )Dhat a gob. She even manage$ to get me back &heels in). bacon ba"ooka n. %enis; ork s&or$; the ink oboe. badge % badger n. (anny. !s in )Sho& us yer ba$ge). bag n. Sla er; boot. baggage boy n. 'f ooves an$ oovery, the o osite of a illo& biter (qv); stone (qv). bagging v. Shagging. bag ladies period sim. (oul tasting. !s in )3on.t buy 5rs Tim kin.s home ma$e jam, vicar. *.ve taste$ nicer bag la$ies erio$). bagpipe v. To ignore the ink an$ the bro&n, an$ shove the cue straight into the to corner ocket; arm it se1. bahookie n. Scot. !rse. baibhe (bye4b) +aelic n. 2ough ol$ sla er; a boot. bairns sock& trying to get a roll of carpet into a sim. To em hasise a large enis. bald-headed hermit See bal$ man. bald man n. The enis; @ojak; "a tain %ickar$; S urt 2eynol$s (qv) etc. !lso the ol$ man. (9ot to be confuse$ &ith bal$ man in a boat (qv)).

bald man in a boat n. (emale genitalia; hairy ie. 9ot to be confuse$ &ith the skin boat (qv). Balkans& the n. *n #ritish "arry 'n films, a vague eu hemism for the testicles; bollocks. 'ther geogra hical $ouble enten$res inclu$e the Urals, @hyber ass. ball v. To bonk; nob; bang; shag. Ballarat !us. n. ! fully erect enis. !s in )!re you rea$y yet #ruce8) )!lmost there Sheila. *.m nearly at #allarat). See also 7ake Den$ouree. ballocks n. The original s elling of bollocks. balloon knot n. 2ing iece; chocolate starfish. ! uckere$ gazoo (qv). ball buster n. Se1ually aggressive female; cock chom er. ball bag n. #ag in &hich balls are ke t; na$ sack; scrotum. balls ,. n. Testicles; those s herical s unk factories on the Scrots 2oa$ *n$ustrial ?state. /. n. "ourage; guts. !s in )* like him. >e.s got balls). 0. e1clam. 3enial. !s in )>as he balls got balls;) E. n. 2ubbish; nonsense. !s in )#alls; 'f course he.s got balls). F. n. 2oun$ things you lay football &ith. balls deep a$j. ! ork s&or$ (qv) burie$ to the hilt; the ma1imum length &hich it is ossible to sli someone; in a sausage an$ $onut situation (qv) the ma1imum e1tent to &hich the sausage can be hi$$en. bam pot n. >ea$ banger; hee$ the ball. banana hammock n. Skim y un$ercrackers or s&imming trunks. The male equivalent of genital floss. banana yoghurt n. #reakfast alternative to orri$ge (qv), to either s&allo& or s it (qv). bang v. To have se1; to shag. e.g. )She bangs like a shithouse $oor in the &in$). n. Se1ual encounter; a shag. bangles n. 5ost $elicate art of the family je&els (qv). banger hanger n. %ole vaulting it; sausage rece tacle. See cock&ash. ban#o n. 'n the enis, that thin ri$ge of skin connecting the roll4neck to the bobby.s helmet (qv). ban#oed a$j. %isse$ u ; tanke$ u ; &ankere$; arsehole$; sloshe$; rat arse$. bannocks e1clam. Scottish equivalent of bollocks (qv). n. =ocks eak for na$s; knackers; lums. baloobas See bazoomas. baps (baaah4 s) n. 9. *re4lan$ #reasts. e.g. )%hoaar; Dill yer look at the ba s on that8) Barclays rhym. slang Dank; =. !rthur 2ank. (rom #arclays bank. barf v. To vomit; call >uey; uke; bo&k. barf bag n. Sick bag, as foun$ on an aero lane. !lso a useful alliterative

insult. bargain bucket n. !n overem loye$ an$ overstretche$ fanny; &elly to . barking carrots v. %arking tigers; to vomit; uke; sing a rainbo&. barking spider n. 2ing iece; freckle; chocolate starfish . barse n. The erineum; that little bit bet&een your balls an$ your arse. !lso biffin bri$ge, stinkers bri$ge, chin rest, taint etc. bash-the-bishop v. To masturbate; bur the &orm; toss; bank &ith #arclays (qv). basket making v. !rchaic term for shagging, basket meaning -bastar$.. bastard n. ! football referee. bats wings n. 3elicate alternative to beef curtains (qv). battered kipper n. @i er (qv) in fanny batter (qv) often &ith e1tra scrunchies. batting for both sides eu h. #o&ling from both en$s, as o ose$ to the %avilion en$. batty-boy n. D. *n$ies Tail en$er &ho habitually bo&ls from the %avilion en$ (qv). bawd n. Aery ol$ fashione$ term for a rub4a4tug sho (qv) ro rietress. ba"oomas See begonias. bead curtains n. 3angleberries; toffee strings. 9ot to be confuse$ &ith beef curt4ains (qv). bean flicker n. 7esbian. beard n. ,. !ncient >airy ie; ma atasi. /. 2ecent ! &oman marrie$ to a gay man in or$er to conceal his true se1uality. !s inG )3o you reckon that So hie.s a bear$ then, or &hat8) See also &hiff of laven$er, frock. bearded clam !us. Aag4ina; fanny. !s in )>o& $i$ you get on #ruce8 3i$ you s ear the bear$e$ clam8) bear trappers hat n. >airy front bottom. !s in )She ha$ a fanny like a bear tra er.s hat). !lso 3avy "rockett.s hat. beat-the-meat v. To avail oneself of a ham shank; erform the five4 knuckle4shuffle (qv); ull your u$. beaver n. ,. US (emale ubic hair. /. (anny; blart; the female genitals an$Cor females in general. beaver cleaver n. %rimitive male &ea on for slaying beaver. beaver lever See joystick. bed flute n. Din$ instrument closely relate$ to the ink oboe (qv). beef n. ! fart. beef bayonet n. %enis; cock; ork s&or$; love tor e$o. beef curtains n. 'f &omen.s genitalias, those fol$s of skin kno&n as the labia minora, or small li s. 'r in$ee$ iss fla s. beer callipers n. *maginary leg s lints &ith the ai$ of &hich &ankere$

(qv) stragglers making their &ay home from the ub at closing time. beer goggles n. *maginary o tical ai$s through &hich ugly &omen begin to a ear attractive after you have $runk too much beer. !s in )Dhat8 Hou fancy that;8; Hou must be &earing beer goggles). beetle bonnet n. (emale ubic moun$ as vie&e$ through tight ants, or &hen shaven. (rom the $esign of the classic AD car. See also camel.s foot. bee stings See frie$ eggs. begonias See bejonkers. be#onkers See bouncers. Belgian biscuit n. =am in the mi$$le8 *cing on the to . 9ice cherries. ?nough sai$8 Belisha beacon n. (lashing orange globe on a black an$ &hite ole, name$ after the #ritish Trans ort 5inister in ,60E. bell n. "litoris. !s in )Hou can ring my b4e4e4ell, ring my bell. 3ing $ong, $ing $ong). bell end n. The glans of the enis; ur le helmet. bell-swagged a$j. To be en$o&e$ &ith a large bell en$ on a contrastingly small stem or shaft; mushroom rigge$. belt-fed mortar !rmy sim. !s in )* bet she bangs like a belt fe$ mortar). See also shithouse $oor in the &in$; kangaroo shagging a s ace ho er, singer. belly flopper n. ! clumsy bro&n trout (qv) &hose graceless entry into the &ater causes s lashing of the arse. benefactor n. 'f farts an$ farting, he &ho su lies it. !lso kno&n as the $onor. beneficiaries n. Those &ho -benefit. from the o$our of another.s fart. The fartees, as o ose$ to the farter. See also break com any. bender n. ,. %rolonge$ $rinking s ree; 7eo Sayer (qv). /. ! queer fella. See gen$er ben$er. bend the elbow v. To go for a beer goggles (qv) fitting. bent a$j. >omose1ual. !s in )>e &as as bent as a nine bob note). Berkeley 'unt rhym. slang Buaynt (qv). berry n. ! se1ual $eviant; kinky erson. !lso one &ho shags animals. Bertie ,. n. 5ale homose1ual. /. ! ro er "harlie (qv). Betty (wollocks n. %olite term for knacker $iscomfort; s&eaty bollocks. bevvy v. I n. #ooze; $rink. biff See bob. biffie n. #og; shitter. biffin n. S&eat secrete$ in the biffin bri$ge (qv) area $uring coitus. biffin bridge See barse.

biffing plate ,. n. #eetle bonnet ; monkey.s forehea$. /. sim That &hich is flat. !s in )"hrist; This lager.s as flat as 9aomi "am bell.s biffing late). biffon n. That art of the female anatomy bet&een the bottom an$ the vagina, &hich the man.s balls biff on $uring intercourse. !lso the taint. big bamboo n. %enis. big cock day n. ! $ay, quite ossibly in s ring, the arrival of &hich is greete$ &ith the $a&n horn (qv) an$ throughout &hich the sa continues to rise. (or e1am le -!s he &restle$ himself into his shre$$ies, 3.!rcy kne& it &as going to be a big cock $ay.. (%ri$e !n$ %reju$ice by =ane !ustin). bike n. 'f &omen, an easy lay. She &ho has been frequently ri$$en. 'ften refi1e$ &ith a location. e.g. )Hou $on.t &ant to go near her mate. She.s the office bike). !lso bicycle. bikini burger See hairy ie. Bill )rundies rhym. slang Un$ies, trollies etc. (Unlike 2oger 5ellie, #ill +run$y &as a television host &ho referre$ to let his guests $o the s&earing.) billiards See ocket billiar$s. Billingsgate bo! n. 5inge. #ase$ on a "ockney com arison bet&een fish an$ fanny o$ours. bill posters bucket sim. 7arge aste fille$ fanny. !s in )She ha$ a fanny like a bill oster.s bucket). Billy ill roundabout n. "limactic oint of masturbation. (rom the en$ of !,JFK coast roa$ near 9e&castle. !s in )5y mum &alke$ in just as * &as coming u to the #illy 5ill roun$about). See also vinegar strokes (qv). Billy *right n. 7egen$ary Dolverhamt on Dan$erers footballer, latterly immortalise$ as rhyming slang for shite. bimbo n. =oanne +uest. bimboid a$j. ! ertaining to =oanne +uest. bint n. 3erogatory term for a silly ol$ sla er; a bir$; =oanne +uest. bird n. !n inanimate young &oman. !s in )%hoar; *s this your ne& bir$8 She.s a bit of alright, ain.t she). biscuits ,. n. U@ "ontents of the stomach after a heavy night.s $rinking. !s in )+et me a bucket, quick, *.m gonna chuck me biscuits). /. n. US !ttractive buttocks. bit n. Uns ecifie$ quantity of se1, usually artaken )on the si$e). bit of fluff n. Singular iece of totty (qv). bit of rough n. Se1ual artner, usually male, from a lo&er echelon; he &ho &oul$ &i e his cock on your curtains. e.g. 7a$y "hatterley.s 7over. B+,s #lo& job li s, as o ose$ to $onkey kisser.s li s (qv). Blackpool rock n. 3inosaur egg; stool ro$uce$ (&ith some $ifficulty)

after necking too much of the 9igerian lager. bladdered See blitze$. blanket ripper n. #ack $raught in a 3utch oven (qv). blart n. Aagina. !lso collective n. Domen; totty e.g. )+olly gosh; This ub is heaving &ith blart). bleed the li"ard v. 2e tile relative of si hon the ython. bletherskate Scot. n. Shit4for4brains; fuck&it; t&at. 7iterally meaning bag of shite. blick See muff$ruff. bliff n. 5inge; front bottom. bliff mag n. %ornogra hic magazine; rhythm mag; art am hlet. blind cobblers thumbs See cha el hat egs. blit n. See blivvet. blit"ed See blotto. blivvet See blart. blob n. "on$om; (rench safe; (rench letter; rubber =ohnny. 9ot to be confuse$ &ith on the blob (qv). blood orange n. The arse after being savage$ by a articularly vicious chocolate shark (qv). See also =a anese flag. bloody a$j. The erfect s&eary a eritif for a )fucking), i$eally follo&e$ by the )hell) $essert. bloomers n. ,. !n item of &omen.s un$er&ear. /. !ny unfunny an$ self4 in$ulgent -mistake. ma$e on camera by a ##" em loyee &hich can later be transmitte$ as art of a tiresome -come$y. com ilation. blotto See blootere$. blootered See banjoe$. blow off v. To trum et through the trousers; ar in the ants. blow #ob n. 3angerous se1 act &hereby the female inflates the male.s testicles like balloons by blo&ing air into his enis. blow mud v. To noisily e1 el a loose stool; cro s ray (qv). blow your biscuits v. To uke; ya&n in technicolour. blue balls n. #ollocks &hich are fit to burst through lack of use. -9uts like a tin of (ussell.s milk.. blue dart n. That brief but e1citing yrotechnic $is lay achieve$ by igniting one.s air biscuits (qv). blue veined piccolo n. %enis; cock. !lso blue veine$ custar$ chucker C >avana C rocket, etc. blurter n. ,. !us. "hocolate starfish; ring. /. ! little fishy that thoo shalt have on a little $ishy, &hen the boo4ert comes in. boak See bo&k. bob See boff.

bobbys anorak n. @ojak.s roll4neck; foreskin. bobbys helmet n. #ell en$. (rom the $istinctive sha e of the #ritish olice constable.s hat &hich manages to look like a tit an$ a bell en$ both at once. boff See bonk. bog n. 7avatory. bog snorkelling v. 3irtbo1 (as o ose$ to muff) $iving. boiler n. !n ugly &oman one &oul$ refer not to service. e.g. %otterton ,KJ u right; 5yson. boilerdom n. The state of being a boiler into &hich many fat girls ass $irectly u on reaching uberty. bollocks n. ,. 9onsense; balls, as inG )That.s utter bollocks, that is). /. @nackers; balls, as inG )Them.s massive bollocks, thems is). See also ballocks. bollock service n. Dank. !s in )5y balls are blue. *t.s about time * ha$ them in for a bollock service). Bologna bop n. Solo sausage $ance also kno&n as the 2oman helmet rumba. bomb bay n. The arse; the area of one.s bo$y to&ar$s &hich the rear gunner (qv) is attracte$. bone n. ?rect enis. boner US n. !n erection; stiffy. bone !ylophone n. !$vance$ gynaecological term for the interior of a &oman.s rib cage; her slats (qv). !s in )7et.s go lay the bone 1ylo hone). bonk See biff. bonk-on n. ?rection, as inG )! co y of (iesta an$ a bo1 of tissues lease, 5r 9e&sagent. *.ve got a right big bonk on in my ants to$ay). boobs See boobies. boobies See boobs. Boris n. Aagina. Term use$ by females, a arently. Bosch v. To $rill a hole bet&een cubicles in a ublic lavatory for the ur ose of s ying on, or making your enis available to, the botter (qv) in the a$jacent cubicle. See also s orts bag. bott v. ! se1 act erforme$ by botters (qv). botter (bot4ah) n. >e &ho botts. bottom n. That &hich the botter (qv)botts (qv); bomb bay; backsi$e; butt; arse. botty burp n. ! bur from the bottom; trouser trum et; fart. bouncers See $i$$ies. bourbon n. (ancy -licker.. Someone &ho is goo$ at horatio (qv). Bourneville boulevard n. !rse; fu$ge tunnel. Use$ to $enote

homose1uality, as inG )* believe he strolls $o&n the #ourneville boulevar$). Bovril bullets n. Stools; e1crement. bowel bugle See bo&el ho&l. bowel howl n. (earsome &ailing of the anus; the soun$ of your su er. bowel trowel n. 'ne of a selection of tools at the $is osal of the u hill gar$ener (qv). See also cheesy &heelbarro&, trouser rake. bowk v. To barf; vomit; s e&; yak; hoy u ; bake a avement izza (qv). bowl from the Pavilion end v. To bott; travel on the other bus (qv). bo! n. ,. The vagina. !s inG )* &oul$n.t min$ getting into her bo1). /. *n cricket, a gentleman.s rotective $evice &orn aroun$ the un$ercarriage (qv). !s inG )'oyah me o$s; * &ish *.$ &orn a bo1). bo! of assorted creams !us. n. She &ho has recently been over accommo$ating to a number of gentlemen; a romiscuous female &ith a fanny like a bill oster.s bucket. bo! the #esuit v. ,Lth". >o& 2obin >oo$ an$ his merry men &oul$ have referre$ to bashing the bisho (qv). Brahms and ,is"t rhym. slang %isse$. brap n. The volume rating of a fart (# ) governe$ by three variables;4 rectal ressure (r), buttock friction (f) an$ s routs consume$ (S "). #uttock friction (f) can be re$uce$ to zero by ulling the ring iece o en &i$e $uring emission. brass eye n. >og.s eye; bro&n eye; chocolate starfish. break company v. To $isru t a gathering of benefactors (qv) by the release of a ungent botty breeze. breast fest n. Those summer months $uring &hich &omen sunbathe to less. brewers droop n. 5arshmallo&ing of the enis $ue to e1cessive alcohol intake. brewers fart n. ! articularly strong smelling fart. !s in )(uck me, he.s just $ro e$ a bre&er.s fart, grains an$ all). brew one up v. To be burbulent; to bake an air biscuit (qv). !s in )(or your o&n safety ste back lease la$ies, *.m bre&ing one u over here). Brillo pad sim. "oarse vaginal hair. (or e1am le, a re$ hea$e$ (collar an$ cuffs (qv)) Scots lassie might be $escribe$ as having )! mott like a rusty #rillo a$). brick shithouse sim. >eavy set; stocky; &ell built. !s in )She &as built like a brick shithouse). brim n. Skirting aroun$ the base of one.s helmet (qv). Bristols ryhm. slang Tits. (rom #ristol "ities 4 titties. broat See vur .

Bron! cheer n. (art. (This archaic term is no& use$ only on &hoo ee cushions). brother n. 7esbian; bean flicker; tu ence licker; car et muncher. brown bullet-hole n. #umhole; barking s i$er. brown eye n. The ring (qv) through &hich the bro&n trout (qv) jum on their journey $o&n the an. brown hatter n. 'ne &ho bo&ls from the %avilion en$ (qv) an$ in so $oing tarnishes his bobbies helmet (qv). brown trout n. ! tur$; big job; shite. brown pipe engineer n. ! lo lumber &ho al&ays visits via the tra$esman.s entrance (qv). brown wings n. That honour besto&e$ on a man after he has com lete$ a successful s ell of bo&ling from the %avilion en$ (qv). B%(% US abbr. #ullshit. B%(%'% #ritish Stan$ar$ >an$ful. The unit by &hich breasts are often measure$. bucket fanny n. S acious or roomy vagina. !lso Tar$is t&at, cathe$ral, &elly to . buffage n. US 5en. Use$ as a female equivalent of totty (qv). !s in )>ey girls, check out the buffage in here). buffty Scotch n. +ay fello&. bugger ,. n. >e &ho okes either of the t&o -!.s, arseholes or animals. /. v. To break; $amage; fuck. buggers grips n. Si$eburns. !lso bugger.s han$les. build a log cabin v. To ass an enormous stool. !s inG )* &oul$n.t go in there mate. Someone.s just built a log cabin). !lso U blocker. builders bum n. The rotrusion of fat, s&eaty arse cheeks above the sagging &aist of the jeans, common among buil$ers an$ council &orkmen. !lso kno&n as bricky.s crack, 3agenham smile. bull abbr. #ullshit. bulldog eating porridge sim. Aagina in the aftermath of se1. !s in )She ha$ a fanny like a bull$og eating orri$ge).?arliest recor$e$ use in Shakes eare.s >enry *A, act **. )!n$ lo, $o * see that my la$ies. bull$og hath been eating orri$ge again8) bulldog chewing a wasp sim. !n ugly face. )She ha$ a face like a bull$og che&ing a &as ). !lso bull$og licking iss off a nettle. See also &el$er.s bench. bulldyke n. #utch, masculine or aggressive lesbian. See also stone. bullshit (?$$ie 5ur hy bull4shee4it) ,. n. 2ubbish; nonsense. /. v. To lie; $eliberately mislea$; talk rubbish to. bum ,. n. !rse; oo chute. /. US n. >obo; tram ; an han$ler (not to be

confuse$ &ith an han$le (qv)) 0. v. To scavenge. !s in )"an * bum a cigarette off you). (9ot to be confuse$ &ith bum cigar (qv)) E. a$j. Unjust; unfair. !s in )>ey man; This is a bum &ra . * &ant to see my brief). bum bandit n. ! robber, outla& or high&ayman, &ho steals eo le.s bottoms. bum chain n. ! rather intimate version of the "onga su ose$ly $ance$ by those on the other bus (qv). See also $aisy chain. bum chums n. %rimary school term for allege$ gays. bum cigar n. *n after $inner conversation, a stool. )Dell, if you.ll e1cuse me la$ies, * think *.ll ni u stairs an$ light a bum cigar). bum conkers See bum gra es. bum crumbs n. @ling4ons (qv) &hich have cease$ to kling. Usually foun$ in the be$ or in the gusset of the trollies (qv). bum fluff n. 3erisory ubescent attem t to gro& a bear$. 9ot to be confuse$ &ith a bear$ (qv). bum grapes n. !n itchy, re$ gra e &hich gro&s &ell in the sha$e$ regions of the @hyber %ass (qv). bum gravy n. 3iarrhoea; rusty &ater. bumtags See $angleberries. bung hole n. Aagina. See fizzing at the bung hole. bun in the oven a$j. %regnant; u the stick. !s in )+uess &hat love. *.ve got a bun in the oven). )Shut u &ill ya. *.m &atching telly). bunko booth n. Shithouse; lavatory cubicle. bunk up n. ,. #onk; shag. !s inG )3arling, you look beautiful tonight. !ny chance of a bunk u 8) /. !ssistance climbing, as inG )Shit. *.m so isse$ * can.t get onto the be$. +iz a bunk u &ill ya8) buns n. 2egional variation of ba s (qv). burbulence n. The anal intonation of a fart; tummy rumbling &hich rece$es the breakage of &in$. burial at sea n. The $ignifie$ $elivery of a stool, &ithout s lashback (qv). The o osite of a $e th charge or belly flo er (qv). burly n. #um &i e; toilet a er; chocolate shark bait. burn bad powder v. 'f trouser trum eteering, to light a tyre; emit fysts (qv). burp the worm See bash the bisho . bury a $uaker v. To $is ense &ith the contents of one.s rectum; crim one off; release a ayloa$ from the bomb bay. butchers window& the n. (emale genitalia. buttered bun See bo1 of assorte$ creams. buttock broker n. "ontroller of rostitutes; im .

buttock hall n. 5eat mart; knocking sho ; $ance hall frequente$ by loose &omen. buttock #ig n. >orizontal $ance, the ste s to &hich are similar to the blanket horn i e. button n. "litoris. button groove n. Aulva; hairy a1e &oun$. button hole n. That hole (qv) belo& the button (qv) &hich the button $oes not at any stage go into. butt slammers n. $erog. US 5embers of the gay community. butt snee"e n. US (art. bush n. (emale ubic hair; ma atasi (qv).

C
cabbage n. +irls; totty. !s in )*.m looking for&ar$ to going out this evening. * ho e to ick some cabbage). cabbage fart n. 9o1ious anal emission of cabbage gas (qv). cabbage gas n. 9aturally occurring yroflatulatory bum gas use$ to o&er 3utch ovens (qv). cable laying v. To e1crete soli$ stools. !s o ose$ to cro s raying (qv). cack % cacka ,. n. Shit; e1crement. /. v. To a er (qv), usually one.s trollies. Cadbury alley See #ourne4ville boulevar$. call down for more mayo v. =ack the beanstalk. call 'uey v. Aomit; uke. !lso call 2al h, call 2uth. camels foot n. 'f leggings an$ tight jeans, those moun$s an$ crevices generate$ in a la$ies crotch &hen they are ulle$ u too tight. !lso "amel.s toes. See also T&i1 li s. camp a$j. ?ffeminate. !s in )Hou shoul$ have seen him mince. >e &as as cam as a ro& of tents). can US n. #ottom. captain n. %enis; (agan (qv). !s in )Say hello to the ca tain). Captain 'ogseye n. "urly bear$e$ seafarer &ith a shiny, bal$, ur le hea$ &ho tra&ls in co$ cove (qv) an$ s its a lot. Captains Pie n. ,. >airy ie caught fresh by "a tain >og.s ?ye; ha$$ock astie (qv). /. 'f shi .s catering, that ie &hich belongs to the ca tain. carnival n. 'f e1tremely ol$ jokes, a se1ual osition &here a &oman sits on a man.s face an$ he has to guess her &eight. carnival knowledge n. 7atin hrase meaning to have se1. !s inG )>ave you ha$ carnival kno&le$ge &ith your &ife &ithin the last t&o &eeks8) carpenters dream n. Se1ually romiscuous &oman. !s inG )(lat as a boar$, an$ easy to scre&).

carpet muncher n. 'ne &ho scoffs hairy ie (qv), usually a female. Casanovas rubber sock n. "on$om; blob; (rench letter. cat n. >omose1ual man. ((rom the 7atin catamite 4 a boy ke t by a man for immoral ur oses). cat flaps n. 7abia minora; beef curtains. cathedral sim. 3escribing an oversize$ vagina. To the o&ner one coul$ remark )#y goo$ness; 5y organ.s never laye$ in a cathe$ral this size before). cattle rhym. slang "attle truck 4 fuck. !lso trolley (an$ truck), (riar (Tuck) or 2ussian ($uck). cauliflower n. Se1. e.g. )* fancy $oing a bit of cauliflo&er). ,Kth". slang vagina. cavalier n. Uncircumcise$ enis. cedar burp n. Small outbreak of chocolate thun$er; a fart. chalfonts rhym. sl. %iles; bum gra es. (rom "halfont St. +iles. chapel hat pegs sim. To $escribe large, erect ni les. !s in )%hoarr; She ha$ ni les like cha el hat egs). !lso ygmies. cocks; Scammel &heel nuts. Charlie rhym. slang. "unt. (rom -"harlie >unt.. !s in )Hou look a ro er "harlie). Charlies n. LJs Tits. charms n. 'f #ritish tabloi$ journalism, the breasts. Usually refi1e$ )am le). charver , v. US To have se1; shag. /. U@ #oy; la$; a$olescent. 0. U@ #e4 track4suite$ t&ocker; borstal boy; male equivalent of a sla ette (qv). chase the cotton mouse v. To have the ainters in; flags out; surf the crimson &ave. chebs n. Tits; breasts. cheek flapper n. ! fart &hich registers highly on the bra (qv) scale. cheese See knob cheese. cheesepipe n. That i e associate$ &ith cheese (qv). cheesepipe clingfilm n. "on$om; rubber =ohnny. cheese ridge n. The fertile area of the enis &here knob cheese (qv) is cultivate$. !lso banjo (qv). cheesy wheelbarrow n. The enis, as it might a ear &hile being ushe$ by an u hill gar$ener (qv). cherry n. Airginity. See o her cherry. chest pillows n. #reasts. chewing on a brick v. 'f logs an$ logging, that $es erate oint &hen the turtle.s hea$ (qv) an$ in$ee$ shoul$ers rotru$e an$ the arse is left )che&ing on a brick).

chew your own arm off v. To have $ifficulty getting a&ay from an ugly &oman &ith &hom you &ake u no longer &earing your beer goggles (qv). *f she &as aslee on it, you &oul$ -che& your o&n arm off. in or$er to esca e. See also coyote, trout. chichis 5e1ican n. Tits; breasts. Those &hich have no a eal to a coco sombrero (qv). chicken n. Houng gay male; teenage hitch hiker on the >ershey high&ay (qv). chickenhawk n. >ershey high&ayman (qv) &ho rays on sai$ chickens. Chinese singing lesson& to take a v. >ave a much nee$e$ iss. chin rest See $uffy.s bri$ge. chin splash n. "on$ition cause$ by trying on a earl necklace (qv) that is too big. chimney sweep See choco4late chimney s&ee . chocolate cha-cha n. 2oof4to $ance in the style of 3ick Aan 3yke, but erforme$ by chimney s&ee s of the chocolate variety. chocolate chimney sweep n. >e &ho uses his ur le hea$e$ &omb broom (qv) to clean oo chutes (qv). chocolate eye n. #umhole. chocolate fountain n. ! s ectacular, anal, u si$e $o&n fire&ork ignite$ in the lavatory to celebrate having a belly full of beer an$ a $o$gy curry the night before. chocolate iceberg n. +iant tur$ sitting in the tra (qv), the ti of &hich rotru$es above &ater level. chocolate shark n. Unlike its relative the bro&n trout, the a earance of this giant beast from the bumhole often causes anic among toilet4goers. chocolate shark angler n. (isherman &ho sails his skin boat (qv) u the cocoa canal. chocolate speedway n. #umhole; oo chute. chocolate speedway rider n. %ur le helmete$ star of the $irt track. chocolate starfish n. 2usty sheriff.s ba$ge (qv); #ovril bullet hole. chocolate thunder n. Tail &in$s; a trouser ty hoon. !lso un$er thun$er. choke the chicken or choke the goose See bash the bisho or bur the &orm. choo"ies !us. n. #reasts. chopper ,. n. %enis. !s inG )That !n$y "ole coul$n.t score in a brothel &ith a MFJ note &ra e$ roun$ his cho er). /. n. (ancy orange bike that fat ki$s o&ne$ in the ,6LJs. 0. n. >elico ter. chrome-dome n. Sla hea$; bal$y. chubblies n. (at bir$.s choozies (qv). chuck up See honk u .

chuck your muck v. To $rain one.s s u$s; ejaculate. chuckies n. #alls. chudleighs (chu$4leez) or chu$s. See chebs, "harlies, charms or in$ee$ chichis. chuff ,. v. To ass &in$; shoot a bunny rabbit. e.g. )'o s; #est o en a &in$o& vicar. *.ve just chuffe$). /. n. Aagina; la$ies front bottom. 0. n. !nus. chuffdruff n. Those resi$ual flakes of manfat (qv) an$ fanny batter (qv) foun$ u on the ma atasi (qv). %ubic equivalent of mammary $an$ruff (qv). chuff mountain n. Sur lus of female guests at a arty. chuff nuts See $angleberries. chuftie plug n. Tam on. chunder !us. v. To ro$uce a avement izza (qv); to barf. chunk v. To vomit. !lso blo& chunks. chutney ferret n. %otholer in kak canyon (qv); botter. chutney locker n. 2ectum. !lso $ate locker. circle n. Aagina. ?u hemism use$ by Shakes eare in 2omeo an$ =uliet. Still useful no&a$ays, as inG )!ny chance of a ticket for the gran$ circle tonight, $arlin.8) circle #erk n. ! share$ roun$ of han$ shan$ies (qv). clagnuts n. 3angleberries. !lso tagnuts. clam #ousting n. ! se1ual encounter bet&een lesbians. !lso Aelcro fastening. clam ram See fanny battering ram. clam smacker n. 7esbian; bean flicker. clap& the n. !ny se1ually transmitte$ $isease, but usually gonorrhoea. clapometer n. *maginary me$ical instrument use$ by $octors to $iagnose the cla . !s in )3on.t touch her. * hear she scores tens on the cla ometer). clappers n. ,. *n farting, the buttocks. !s in )"hrist; That one $i$n.t half rattle the cla ers). /. That art of a bell like &hich you go. clarts n. Tacky e1crement, such as &oul$ cling to the lavatory bo&l above the &ater level rather than sli into the &ater. clear the custard v. To have a long over$ue &ank. e.g. )'oooooh... *.ve got balls like boul$ers. *.$ better ni u stairs an$ clear the custar$). clinkers !us. n. 3ifficult to remove oo articles; toffee strings; &innets; kling4ons; $angleberries. clodge n. Aagina. clowns pocket sim. To $escribe the bigger, baggier an$ erha s yello& an$ re$ checkere$ vagina. !s in )She ha$ a fanny like a clo&n.s ocket). cludgie n. Shitehouse; lavatory; thun$erbo1.

clusterfuck n. ! regrettable situation of immense i$iocy. cobblers ryhm. slang #alls. (rom -"obbler.s a&ls.. cock ,. n. %enis; &illy; knob. /. n. ! erson to &hom a chir y "ockney &ishes to s eak, es . &hen refi1e$ by )Dotcha...) 0. n. ! sort of chicken. cock block n. #e$. !s in )* &oul$n.t min$ lying that on me cock block). See also shag slab. cock porridge n. 5essy loa$ fire$ from the orri$ge gun (qv). cock snot n. Semen. !s in )"o y of (iesta... oh, an$ a bo1 of tissues. * think my cock has a col$ coming on). cock sucker n. 'f roa$ rage inci$ents, a &anker; a motorist &ho cuts you u . cock smoker n. ! la$y &ho lays >oratio (qv) on the trouser trombone. cock tease n. Doman &ho &ears -fuck me shoes. an$ then changes into -fuck off sli ers. &hen you get back to her lace. cockwash n. Aagina. !s in )*t.s about time * ut this through the cock&ash). See also token for the cock&ash, munici al cock&ash. cocoa sombrero n. 5e1ican variation on the bro&n hat. cod cove See fish mitten. cods n. #alls. 'ften refi1e$ )! kick is the). coffin-dodger n. !ffectionate term for an incontinent, el$erly relative. collar and cuffs eu h. 5atching hair colour, u to an$ $o&n belo&. !s in )See that blon$e. 3o you reckon her collar matches her cuffs8) Colwyn Bay Delsh seasi$e rhym. slang +ay. command module n. #ell en$; glans. combustoflatulation n. The highly $angerous act of flame thro&ing &ith one.s trouser trum et. !lso yro4flatulation. con n. (rench "unt. con artiste& une n. 5uff $iver. cones n. #reasts, es ecially ointy, orange, $ayglo ones foun$ alongsi$e the 5/F. conkers See hairy conkers. Constable n. 2ough shaven minge. convoy cock See travel fat. cop a feel v. To get one.s fingers (qv) or to s (qv). copper bolt v. Aery heavy or soli$ stool. corn beef cudgel n. Short, thick trouser stick the )taking u ) of &hich relieves gentlemanly tensions. !lso corn beef lighthouse. cornhole ,. n. US #rass eye; ring; balloon knot. /. v. To shove your cock u same. corybungo n. !rse; backsi$e. costume drama n. The frantic behaviour of a &oman &ho cannot $eci$e

&hat to &ear for a arty. See also erio$ $rama. cottage v. To go house hunting on #ourneville boulevar$ (qv), looking for something a bit more soli$ than a log cabin (qv); to &ank in a ublic lavatory, in +eorge 5ichael.s case in front of an un$ercover olice officer. cotton mouse See tam on. cough cabbage water v. ?jaculate; trea$ on the gloy bottle. council gritter rhym. sl. Shitter; arsehole; $irtbo1. !s inG )Datch that one. * hear he takes it u the council gritter). !lso +ary (+litter), a le (fritter). court adam -nuckle See 5a$am %alm an$ her five sisters. cowboy walk n. #roa$, rolling gait require$ &hen &alking to the bog &ith the turtles hea$ (qv) e1 ose$. coyote See che& your o&n arm off. crabs n. %ubic lice. crab ladder n. %enis. crack n. ,. 5inge; fanny. !s in )"lose your legs honey, folks &ill see your crack). /. #anter; gossi ; conversation. !s in )>ave you hear$ all the crack about your crack8 ?veryone must have seen it.) crack a fat v. To achieve an erection. crack a stiffy See crack a fat. cracker#acks n. Testicles. !s in )*.m off u stairs to &hack me crackerjacks). crackling n. Totty; talent. +oes &ell &ith the verb to ork. cranberry dip n. ! s ecial reci e for hairy ie (qv) available only $uring rag &eek (qv). crank ,. n. %enis. /. v. >am shank. crap ,. n. Shit. /. v. To shit. crapper n. 7avatory. (rom the +erman inventor of the self4cleaning &ater closet, Thomas Shitehousen. crash the yoghurt truck v. 2T! at the #illy 5ill roun$about (qv); em ty the &ank tanks; $ischarge the trouser 5auser (qv). cream v. To ejaculate, as often as not in )your ants). crepitate v. %osh &or$ for fart. crimp off a length v. 9aval slang See curl one off. crimson crowbar n. %enis. !lso jizz jemmy. crimson wave !lso crimson ti$e. See surfing the crimson &ave. crotch crickets n. "rabs. crouton n. ?rection; bone; stalk; stiffy. crop spraying v. To have $iarrhoea. !s o ose$ to cable laying (qv). ! $octor may enquireG )So &hat.s the ol$ shitter been u too then8 " able

laying or cro s raying8) crow US n. That muck &hich has been chucke$, es . onto the ma atasi (qv); ost orking resi$ue on the hairy clam (qv). See also muff$ruff. crowd pleaser n. Unusual or note&orthy stool &hich you feel an urge to sho& to someone before you flush. %ossibly a U blocker (qv) or a co er bolt (qv). crumpet n. ! tra$itional Scottish cake ma$e of soft light $ough, eaten toaste$ an$ buttere$, much crave$ by the late Si$ =ames. 'riginally a eu hemism for buttere$ bun (qv). !lso fresh from the bakery muffin, tiffin, tart. crusties n. 'ver&orn knickers lacking in -! ril freshness.; those anties &ith a $irty $ri tray (qv). cuckold ,. n. ! man &hose &ife lays a&ay from home. /. v. ! &ife &ho lays a&ay. cum ,. v. The mis4s elling of come commonly use$ by the authors of rea$er.s letters in jazz magazines (qv) to $escribe male ejaculation or its (bell) en$ ro$uct. cumulo nimbus n. The osh 7atin term for oral se1; stimulation of the clematis. cunnifungus n. (emale equivalent of knob cheese (qv). cunt n. The female genitals. 'nce common arlance, the term has been consi$ere$ im olite since the en$ of the ,Eth "entury. 9ot recommen$e$ for use in front of the mother4in4la&. See also "harlie. cunny n. (a$ge; vagina. ((rom the osh 7atin &or$ cunnus meaning -shag i e. an$ coney meaning -hairy rabbit &arren.). cunt bubble n. !n air lock u the fanny, often lea$ing to a minge bur . cuntstruck a$j. #esotte$; ho elessly in love. cupcake n. Small quantity of fart gas caught in the alm of the han$s an$ then $e osite$ in a erson.s face. Cupids toothpaste n. "ross bet&een ! hro$ite.s ?vostick (qv) an$ $enture glue; that &hich &omen s it (qv) or s&allo& (qv). !lso ta ioca tooth aste. curd n. =izz, or gism (qv). curl one off v. To carefully $eliver a stool. See also three coiler. curler n. ! lum of e1crement, having been curle$ off. curtain drop n. 7abia length; size of a &oman.s beef curtains (qv). !s in )?1cuse me love, *.m $oing a bit of measuring u . Dhat.s the $ro of your curtains8) curtain rings n. %ierce$ labia. See beef curtains. cut the cheese v. To fart. !lso cut the #rie, etc. cushion creeper n. 'ne &ho $iscreetly manoeuvres their buttocks on a

chair in or$er to minimise bra (qv) an$ thereby silence a fart. See also one cheek sneak. custard cannon See lamb cannon, mutton musket. Cyclops n. (able$ one eye$ trouser go$ &ho vomits &hen he is lease$.

.
dog toffee n. Tacky avemental $og $e osit that &ill rea$ily a$here to the sole of a shoe or su ort an u right lolli o stick. dog with two dicks sim. 2an$y; horny. !s in )>e came out of rison like a $og &ith t&o $icks). !lso tom cat &ith three balls. dollymop n. !n amateur or ine1 erience$ rostitute. .onald rhym. slang (uck. (rom 3onal$ 3uck. donger n. Dhanger; ork s&or$. donkey kisser n. female She &ho $oes not kiss &ell; that girl &ho kisses like a $onkey che&ing an a le. donkey punch n. To knock your artner out col$ &hile a roaching the #illy 5ill roun$aboutabout (qv) from #ourneville boulevar$ (qv). This is sai$ to have the same a hro$isiacal effect as slam4ming a goose.s neck in a $ra&er &hilst committing bestiality. 3on.t try either. donkey rigged a$j. #lesse$ &ith a large enis. donkified a$j. The state of the male genitals on a big cock $ay (qv). donor See benefactor. donut puncher See bum ban$it. doormat basher See car et muncher. doos n. Tits. dopper See $ork. dork See lonker. double adapter eu h. !"C 3" (qv) man equi e$ &ith a one in lug at the front but also having the benefit of a fully functioning single in socket at the back. double the melt v. To get to the #illy 5ill roun$4about (qv) t&ice $uring the same journey. do!y n. 'l$e Dorl$e Dhore; slag. She &ho $ocks (qv). ./yle ($oy4lee) rhym. slang 3.'yle "arte 4 fart. .raculas tea bags n. Tam ons; jamrags; cotton mice. drain your spuds v. To em ty out the tatty &ater (qv); clear the custar$ (qv). draw mud from the well v. To follo& through (qv). drink from both taps v. To be bise1ual; ben$ both &ays; s&itch hitter (qv). drink on a stick n. ?rection, allu$ing to lolli o s an$ oral se1. !s in )>oy

et, fancy a $rink on a stick8) drip tray n. The often crusty sum in a air of knickers. drive the porcelain bus v. ! kneel4$o&n visit to the lavatory $uring &hich one hol$s the rim (like a steering &heel) an$ $oes some sych4e$elic yo$elling (qv). "om are ri$e the orcelain bus. drop anchor in bum bay v. To arrive at the rear a$miral.s (qv) favourite ort of call. drop a pebble v. To erroneously emit a small bo$y of faeces &hilst attem ting to break &in$. See also follo& through. drop one v. 7et off; chuff. drop out n. Un$er ant con$ition &hereby a testicle rotru$es from the bottom of the shre$$ies (qv), or famously in %eter #ear$sley.s case, football shorts. "om are flo out (qv). dropping the shopping See $ro the ki$s off at the ool. drop the kids off at the pool See sink a fe& U boats. drop your hat v. To fart. !lso $ro a bomb, $ro your han$bag. drop your hat forwards v. To fanny fart; muff chuff. !s in )=ust as * &as $onning the bear$, she $ro e$ her hat for&ar$s). drown the chocolate slugs v. !lternative to light a bum cigar (qv) for those antici ating a looser stool. dry bob n. 3ance the frig jig; se1 &ith clothes on. !lso $ry hum . dry docked a$j. 7ack of lubrication situation &here a lo& ti$e of love juices (qv) revents the skin boat (qv) sailing into tuna to&n (qv). duel with the pink .arth 0ader n. See >an$ Solo an$ ink 3arth Aa$er for $etails. duff n. #um; arse. duffys bridge See biffin bri$ge. dugs n. #a s; a s. 'l$e &orl$e version of jugs. dung funnel See fu$ge tunnel. dung puncher See $onut uncher. dunk n. To $i one.s &ick. dunky n. %rotective sheath to revent the enis going soggy an$ falling off into the hairy goblet $uring $unking. dunny n. !us. Toilet; shite house. !lso a o ular nickname for someone calle$ 3unn. dump v. To $ro a log; art &ith the oo ayloa$. "om are air $um . dumplings on that& look at the "ommon inter4male mammarial observation. dust the duvet v. To hitch4hike un$er the big to (qv). .utch n. Sausage san$&ich; tit &ank. !lso 3utch fuck. Sausage izza (qv) is more o ular in the 3utch !l s.

.utch Alps n. Small breasts; frie$ eggs (qv). !lso 7incolnshire "airngorms. .utch oven n. #eneath the be$clothes after someone has laye$ -2eveille. on the botty bugle. dyke n. 7esbian; tu ence licker; car et muncher; a &oman on the other bus. See also $iesel $yke, bull4$yke.

E
Eartha -itts rhym. slang Shits; $iarrhoea. !lso #ra$ %itts, thru enny bits. eat breakfast backwards v. To thro& u . eating out v. (anny la ing; muff $iving; )one hairy ie to eat in, an$ hol$ the mayo). Eccles snake n. ! enis &ith &arts. Edward *oodward ono4mato oeia ! fart in a bath. egg bound a$j. #locke$ of fu$ge i e; consti ate$. Egyptian PT v. 'rig. >5( To slee . Through no fault of the ?gy tians this is no& also use$ to $escribe one4han$e$ ink ole vaulting lessons an$ outings in the &anking chariot (qv). elbow bender n. 9u$ger of the tur s; saucerholic. elephants 1trunk2 rhym. slang 3runk. Emmas rhym. sl. >aemorrhoi$s. (rom ?mma (reu$, saucy sister of high o&ere$ me$ia mogul 5atthe&. !lso 9obbies (qv). empty the anaconda v. To si hon the ython. Engleburts rhym. slang. The squirts. !s o ose$ to a >um er$inck 4 stink. English disease& the n. >omose1uality, as $efine$ by the (rench. English overcoat n. The (rench equivalent of the ?nglish (rench letter (qv). Eric n. Schoolboy alternative to a =ake (qv). E(. v. ?at Shitty 3ick. To smoke a ink cigar fresh from kak canyon. "an be use$ as an insult in the suggestive form, e.g. )?S3, fuck face). e!haust pipe n. #umhole; fu$ge tunnel. !lso tail i e. e!haust pipe engineer See bro&n i e engineer. e!ercise the ferret v. To co ulate; bury the bisho (as o ose$ to bashing him). e!tras n. The tugging as o ose$ to the rubbing in a rub4a4tug sho (qv).

3
fadge n. ! cross bet&een a fanny an$ a vagina. fag n. ,. Tab; ciggie. /. US =essie; ansy; oofter. 3agan n. %enis. !s in )>o& $i$ you get on last night. 3i$ you intro$uce her

to (agan8) fairy hammock n. %anties. falling down #uice n. #eer. !lso fighting &ater. family #ewels n. @nackers; male genitalia. fanning your arse v. 5ale courtshi $is lay. !s in )* &ent t&ice roun$ the $ance floor fanning my arse, but * $i$n.t get a bite). fanny n. ,. U@ 5inge; female genitals. /. US !rse; backsi$e. fanny batter n. "rusty resi$ue foun$ on a hairy ie (qv). !lso muff$ruff. fanny battering ram n. ! rimitive $evice for forcing entry into a fanny &hich both batters an$ is fanny battere$ in the rocess. fanny bomb n. 5oment of se1ual fulfilment in a &oman; female orgasm. !s in )* think the fanny bomb just &ent off). fanny flange n. "litoris. fanny fright n. 9ervous con$ition affecting some macho men &ho su$$enly become reluctant to have se1 &hen resente$ &ith an o ortunity. fanny magnet n. (lash car or other ossession to&ar$s the o&ner of &hich totty (qv) is attracte$. fanny rat n. ,. %enis. /. Se1ually romiscuous male; $ick &it. farmers rhym. slang %iles. (rom (armer +iles. fart ,. v. To make an anal announcement; the $iction of friction cause$ by a assage of foul air through vibrating buttocks. /. n. ! assage of sai$ arse4s eak; +erman rhetoric; a bottom bur ; beef; oot; air biscuit. fart catcher n. 5ale homose1ual. 'rig. $erog. valet or footman. fart higher than your arse (rench To harbour an inflate$ o inion of oneself. !s in )Nat garcon 3aa4vee$ #eck4am. >e farts higher zan eez o&n arse). farting strings n. *maginary art of the bo$y &hich is liable to be $amage$ by over e1ertion through laughter, e.g. )>ey; Sto it &ill ya, before * bust me farting strings). fart knocker n. ,. #um ban$it; fu$ge nu$ger. /. 'ne &ho criticises another.s farts. fartleberries See $angleberries. fart sack n. #e$; scratcher. !s in )"ome on love, let.s hit the fart sack). See also &anking chariot. feague v. The equestrian tra$ition of shoving a stick of ginger u a horse.s $ock (qv) for reasons best kno&n to those &ho $o it. Usefully a$a ts to feague off. feather spitter n. %illo& biter (qv) &ho has bitten the illo& to har$ or too often. feature v. To shag; get ne1t to. !s in )%hoar; * &oul$n.t min$ featuring

&ith her). feeding the ducks v. To &ank. (rom an a arent similarity in the han$ move4ment involve$. feed the pony v. !lso to &ank. #ut *.ve never seen anyone fee$ a ony like that. feed the fish naval v. To vomit over the si$e of a shi ; bury one.s biscuits (qv) at sea. felch v. ,. "alifornian craze of training a hamster or similar animal to jum through a ring (qv) on comman$. /. !ny other real or imagine$ homose1ual ractice, such as to lick lemon cur$ out of a tea to&el hol$er (qv), or laying ass the chocolate log. 3eltchmeister n. 'ne &ho felches; fau1 +erman term of formal a$$ress for a rear a$miral (qv). !s in )!h, (eltchmeister #ottenhagen. Aee ver e1 eck4tink you). fem See s onge. fighting water See falling $o&n juice. fill your boots v. +et your oats. finger pie n. Dhat you have &hen you get fingers (qv); a han$ful of s rats (qv). fingers See to s an$ fingers. 3insbury bridge See barse. firey surprise n. To receive a bran$ s anking ne& electric fire that you never kne& about. firing blanks v. %ost sni ejaculation. e.g. )Hou can ut the ticklers (qv) a&ay love, *.m firing blanks). firkin ,. n. !n archaic term for a cask of ale, no& the fuck&itte$ e ithet for half the ubs in #ritain. firkytoodling n. !rchaic (ore lay. 5ai$ens often &rote to me$ieval roblem ages to com lain that their knights $i$n.t s en$ enough time on firkytoo$ling. fish bo! n. Aariation on bo1 (qv) laying on the fish theme. !lso #illingsgate bo1, fish mitten. fish mitten n. >airy ie; ca tain.s ie; ha$$ock astie. (ri$ay su er alternative to lab kebabs or vertical bacon san$&iches. fish supper eu h. "arnival kno&le$ge (qv) to &hich a husban$ is entitle$ at the en$ of the $ay. See get u them stairs. fist magnet n. Someone &ho attracts unches to the face. fist rape n. Taking a$vantage of your fist after inviting it back to your lace for a coffee an$ a flick through a $irty magazine. See also glaze a knuckle. fit a$j. !ttractive; &orthy of one (qv).

fitbin interj. !n e1tremely ru$e s&ear&or$ invente$ by S&eary 5ary in Aiz for the sole ur ose of antagonising D.>. Smiths. five against one n. ! very one si$e$ but none4the4less enjoyable game of &restling in &hich 5a$ame %alm an$ her five sisters (qv) attem t to strangle @ojak (qv). The game en$s &hen you make the bal$ man cry (qv). five finger spread n. >ighly counter ro$uctive attem t to su ress a vomit &ith the han$. five knuckle shuffle n. 'ne4han$e$ &ork out to a "in$y "ra&for$ e1ercise vi$eo. five-to-two-er n. #oot; ugly &oman. The only time you &oul$ chat her u &oul$ be at closing time in a nightclub. fi""ing at the bung hole a$j. *m lies se1ual arousal in a &oman. )Das she hot or &as she not;8 (izzing at the bung hole, she &as). %re$ominantly male usage, funnily enough. fi""le n. ! gentle or quiet fart. fladge and padge n. 'f rub4a4tug sho (qv) services, 5r Dhi y &ith the nurses outfit. flags are out a$j. Det aint &arning; fi1ture list sho&s !rsenal are laying at home (qv). flange n. 5uff; beaver; minge. flap#ack n. ! tool for jacking fla s a art. flash the hash v. To thro& u . flash the upright grin v. To e1 ose the female genitals; flash the gash. flative a$j. 'f foo$, that &hich in$uces flatulence, e.g. cabbage, musical vegetables (qv). flatulence n. Din$; the &hole business of farting. (rom the 7atin flatus meaning -smelly solo. an$ lentus meaning -trouser trum et.. flesh wallet n. >airy cheque book; ubic urse. fleshy fugelhorn n. Tuneful variation on the be$ flute; ink oboe. flingel rhym. slang "unt. (rom The Sha$o&s instrumental hit -The 2ise an$ (all of (lingel #unt.. float an air biscuit v. To release a tree monkey (qv) from ca tivity. floater n. ,. Scotch ! tur$ in the an &hich &ill not flush a&ay. /. 5ember of the cra LJs soul ban$, e.g. 7arry. flog the log See s ank the lank. flop out n. "on$ition &hereby the flacci$ enis rotru$es through the bottom of the un$er ants, this often occurring $uring the transfer from a sitting to a stan$ing osition. floppy red cup See hairy goblet. florins ryhm. slang Shits. (rom the re$ecimal -florin. coins kno&n as -t&o bob bits.. "om are thru enny bits.

fluff n. *n the 9avy, a fart. fluffer n. 'n a $irty film set, a erson em loye$ to get the best from a male actors art bet&een takes. fnarr fnarr4 e1clam. Su resse$ chil$ish e1clamation of amusement uttere$ after a $ouble enten$re. foaming at the bunghole See frothing at the gash. follow through v. To acci$entally soil ones un$er ants &hilst attem ting to fart; create russet gusset (qv)G $ro a ebble (qv). fomp v. US To engage in se1ual fore lay; to have firky4too$le. forget-me-nots n. The final notes in a "hinese singing lesson (qv); $ro lets &hich form a tiny but embarrassing &et atch on your trousers. !lso $icks lash. form n. (itness; shagability (qv). !s in )"heck oot the form on that). 3rancis n. US (emale arse. franger n. "on$om. 3rankie 10aughan2 rhym. slang %orn; scu$ material. frap % frappe v. echoism To fart. freckle n. !us. !rse; bro&n eye; chocolate starfish. 3rench n. %o ular coital osition &hereby the man sits astri$e a bicycle selling onions &hile the &oman erches on the han$le bars an$ inflates his testicles. 3rench letter See ?nglish overcoat. 3rench safe n. Secure lace to stick the longest an$ inkest of the family je&els (qv). 3rench sickness n. !ny $isease caught from rostitutes a$vertising their services in hone bo1es for M/J or less. 3rench wank See osh &ank. 3renchy n. 2ubber carrying case for a (rench horn (qv). 3reudian slip n. Something comfortable into &hich S urt 2eynol$s (qv) sli s before se1. 9ame$ after ?mma.s (qv) cock theorising great great gran$a$. 3riar Tuck See 3onal$ 3uck. fried eggs n. Small ba s. !s inG )3o you fancy that @ate 5oss8) )9aaaah; Tits like frie$ eggs). frig v. To &ank or fuck, usually about. frock v. "osmetic husban$ in a laven$er marriage (qv). The male equivalent of a bear$ (qv). frog See ste on a frog. front bottom See fur burger. frothing at the gash a$j. 'f females in the male imagination, fizzing at the bung hole; gagging for it.

frottage v. To brush &omen &ith the &omb broom. frottager n. 'ne &ho frotts. fruit fly n. (ag hag. fuck ,. v. To have it off; shag. /. v. To have someone oot; chin. 0. v. To break; $amage something beyon$ re air. E. v. To $ismiss &ith contem t. e.g. )(uck that for a game of sol$iers). F. interj. ?1clamation of sur rise or $isa ointment ( ronounce$ )fa4ck) in Soho brasseries). See cattle for olite alternatives. fucker n. !n in$ivi$ual; erson. 'ften refi1e$ )big fat). fuck stick n. %enis. fuck truck See assion &agon. fuckwit n. Sim leton; fool; one of little intelligence; bollock brain. fud n. Scotch #erkeley >unt. fudge packer n. 'ne &ho acks fu$ge. fudge tunnel ,. n. ! tunnel ma$e out of, or for the un$ergroun$ trans ortation of, fu$ge. /. n. !n arsehole. fugly a$j. (ucking ugly. fun bags n. #reasts; knockers; thru ennies. fun cushions See fun bags. fur burger n. 5inge; hairy ie. furgle v. To co ulate ru$ely, cru$ely or noisily. furry bicycle stand See fish mitten. furry hoop See furry bicycle stan$. furry mongoose n. #ushy animal that eats snakes. fut" n. US Aagina. fu""bo! n. ! bo1 (qv) easily $istinguishable because of its fuzzy a earance; hairy ie. fyst n. ,Fth". (oul smelling fart.

)
gad"ooks4 e1clam. "orru tion of -+o$.s hooks. (a reference to nails use$ in the crucifi1ion). 'nce a high ranking s&ear &or$, but no& safe to use, even in front of the vicar. gag v. To vomit; uke; s e&. gagging for it a$j. Dhat &omen are thought to be &hen vie&e$ through beer goggles (qv) of higher magnification. !lso choking for it. gak n. =izz; mess; manfat. galloping knob rot n. A3; any ainful social $isease resulting in the ro$uction of gleet (qv) an$ the issing of meta horic tin tacks. galloping the li"ard v. (renzie$ use of the &anking s anners (qv) to take the ant iston into si1th gear (qv). !lso gallo ing the maggot.

gam v. "ommon abbreviation of gamahuche. gamahuche (ga4ma4hoosh) v. The act of cunning your artner.s lingus. See (rench. gammon flaps n. ,. >ole in a farmhouse $oor through &hich igs come an$ go at &ill. /. #eef curtains (qv). !lso kno&n as gammon goal osts. gang bang n. ! bike ri$e on &hich a grou of males share one bicycle bet&een them. garbon"as See gazungas. )ary )litter rhym. slang Shitter. !lso council gritter. garlogies n. @nob cheese (qv). See also >elmet$ale. gash ,. n. Aulva. "onveniently rhymes &ith )>oy, giz a flash of your...) /. n. %lural of females; totty; blit; bush; talent. ga"oo n. !rse; bum. ga"unda % go"unda n. %otty; chamber ot. ga"ungas See +ert Stonkers. gay a$j. 7im of &rist; ten$ing to ask others to shut $oors; critical of the )$ust in here). geek n. (reak. gee"e bag n. Din$ bag; fart ants; rolific um artist. gender bender n. ?ffeminate, flo&ery male of in$eterminate or obscure se1ual orientation, e.g. 5arc !lmon$ out of Soft "ell. genitalia failure n. To suffer loose sausage meat (qv), bre&er.s $roo ; marshmallo&ing of the love muscle. genital floss n. Skim y bikini bottom. See also banana hammock. gentlemans relish n. ! olite term for jizz (qv), such as &hat might be use$ by society folk at a tea arty. )eorge v. US 2oger. )erman n. Dater s orts (qv). "om are talk +erman. gertie n. ,. (anny; minge. /. collective Domen; blart. !s in )7et.s gan oot an. gerrus a bit o. gertie). )ert (tonkers See gon4zagas. get n. #astar$; t&at. 'ften a lie$ to chil$ren, refi1e$ )Hou cheeky little...) an$ accom anie$ by a s&i e to the back of the hea$. get a click v. To score; ull; ta off, &ith a vie& to getting boots (qv). get boots v. US To get it on (qv); get your en$ a&ay. get it on v. To get off , get it u (qv) an$ get your oats. get it up v. ! significant art of getting your en$ a&ay after getting off (qv). get off teenage v. +et a click; first ste to&ar$s getting your oats (qv). get off at Edge 'ill v. "oitus interru tus; &ith$ra&al before ejaculation. ?$ge >ill is the last station before 7iver ool 7ime St. !lso ?$inburgh

>aymarket, 9e&castle +ateshea$, 7ee$s 5arsh 7ane etc. get up them stairs v. The cry from a chauvinist male to his &ife &hich in$icates that he has finishe$ eating, $rinking an$ &atching football, an$ no& &ishes to retire to the be$room to make an ungainly an$ flatulent attem t at se1ual intercourse. get wood v. The o osite of getting loose sausage meat (qv). !lso get string. get your oats See get your en$ a&ay. get your end away See get it on. ghost shit n. Stool or $um of &hich there is no trace &hen you stan$ u an$ turn roun$ to a$mire it. "om are cro&$ leaser. gib v. ,. To bullshit. /. To gate crash. 0. To stick your ol$ man (qv) u a chickens arse an$ slam its hea$ in a $ra&. See also $onkey unch. gibbon gristle n. %enis. gick n. ?ire Shit. gigglers n. Sus en$er belt. )+et ast there an$ you.re laughing). !lso giggle ban$. giggling pin n. %enis. gimp n. %hysically inferior erson; he or she of lo& esteem; cross bet&een a &im an$ a git, sort of thing. ginger beer rhym. slang Dillie Doofter. gink n. +eek; short sighte$ man in a cheque suit an$ bo&ler hat. give 5onaldo a rub down v. "elebrity sla hea$ &anking terminology. See also Strangle @ojak, take "a tain %ickar$ to &ar s ee$ , S urt 2eynol$s. give the dog a bone v. To se1ually satisfy a female. !lso give the cat a gol$fish. gla"e a knuckle v. To &ank. gleet n. Un leasant mucro urelent $ischarge cause$ by gonorrhoea. glob v. To emit viscous flui$ slo&ly an$ rhythmically, es ecially gloy (qv) or similar substances. glory hole n. US 'f cottage (qv) lumbing, that hole ma$e by bosching (qv), through &hich fu$ge acking i es may be asse$. glory wipe n. The token arse &i e require$ after assing one of those rare but leasant stools &hich sli out clean as a &histle leaving har$ly a trace of ?artha @itt (qv) on or aroun$ the balloon knot (qv). "om are ghost shit, cro&$ leaser. )loy n. 5ess; semen. (rom the a er glue once use$ in schools. !s in )'o s, * think *.ve just tro$ on the +loy bottle). glue gun See goo gun. gob ,. n. 9orth an$ South. /. v. To s it; hockle. 0. n. ! bo$y of lung butter (qv) so ro elle$.

gob #ob See blo& job. gobble n. 9oise ma$e by turkeys. gobshite n. Scouse Someone &ho talks cra , like 7iver u$lian hotel staff on fly4on4the4&all TA sho&s. going down ,. Dhat a bir$ $oes )on you) rior to giving you hea$ (qv). /. !n e1 ression often use$ to $escribe the imminent movement of a lift. goit n. +eek; gork; gink; gonk. !nother versatile -g. insult. golden shower n. ! vile se1 act; unfortunate mi14u in a cro&$e$ +erman bathroom. See also &ater s orts. golden rivet n. >5( 9avy (reckle; the a le of the ca tain.s (qv) eye for sailors &ho olish the other en$ of the $eck. gonad glue See +loy, ! hro$ite.s ?vostick. gonk n. *n rub4a4tug sho s (qv) a customer; trick; =ohn; a unter. gon"agas See +uns of 9av4arone. good afternoons n. South !frican >o& So&etans greet a rominent (rancis (qv). goo gun n. Hour ocket aste $is enser; jizz stick. goolies n. The colloquialism for testicles least likely to offen$ a gran$ arent. goose v. To tickle a se1ually sensitive area, e.g. the arse. orig. To co ulate. gorblimey n. ! ty e of trousers o ular among council tenants in the ,6FJs. gorilla salad n. %ubic hair. "om are gibbon gristle. grape smugglers n. Tight gentlemen.s briefs, as &orn by orno stars in the ,6LJs. )reek n. The (rench (qv) suck it, the 3utch (qv) make a sausage san$&ich (qv) &ith it, but the +reek su ose$ly refer to $i it in chocolate sauce. )reek sauna See 3utch oven. grime bubble n. (art; air biscuit. grind v. To have se1; co ulate. (rom the ol$er $escri tive term bum an$ grin$. grin like a wanking +ap sim. To grin broa$ly, as a 9issan e1ecutive might $o as he turne$ (even more) =a anese (qv) as he neare$ the vinegar strokes (qv) on his a roach to the #illy 5ill roun$about (qv). gristle thistle n. %ersistent ur le hea$e$ &ee$ commonly occurring in moss cottage (qv) gar$ens. groaner n. ! tur$ so big that it cannot be e1 elle$ &ithout vocal assistance. See also -U. blocker. grogan n. Scot. ! log; tur$. grommet n. ,6FJs Totty.

grow a tail v. To $efecate; buil$ a log cabin. growl at the badger v. To noisily scoff the hairy ie (qv). grub See biffin. grumble rhym. slang "unt; quaynt; lacket; #erkeley. (rom -grumble an$ grunt.. grundle n. US #arse (qv). grunties n. =obbies; faeces. grunts n. The ty e of ugly bints (qv) &hose blurre$ %olaroi$ ictures a ear on rea$er.s &ives ages. gubbed a$j. Trousere$; &ankere$. guck See gunk. guards van n. 'f ulling a train (qv), the least $esirable osition in the queue. !s inG )#agsy *.m not in the guar$.s van fellas). The last gang bangister on the bike. guff v. To fart; let off. guff cloud n. The no1ious va our ro$uce$ by guffing. guided muscle n. %enis. See also meat seeking issile. gums around the plums& get your v. !morous suggestion ma$e frivolously by a male to a female. guns of 6avarone n. Dho ers; tits; large breasts. gurgler n. Toilet; shite i e; $rain. !s in )>ave you got a coat hanger8 * &as s e&in. u last night an. * coughe$ me fuckin. falsies $o&n the gurgler). gurk v. ,. To bur . /. !us. To fart. gusset typist n. ! &oman &ho &anks. !lso gusset ianist. !s in )*.ve hear$ she lays the gusset iano). gusset nu""ler n. (anny nosher; lesbian. gusset sugar n. ! more romantic eu hemism than muff$ruff (qv) but essentially the same thing. gut grunt n. ! burbulent (qv) rumbling, or any subsequent anal emission. gypsies 1kiss2 rhym. slang %iss.

'
haddock pastie See hairy cheque book. hag n. Ugly &oman; boiler; boot; steg; s&am $onkey. hairy beanbags n. %ink LJs style seating rovi$e$ &ithin the un$er ants for the e1clusive use of the bal$ man, S urt 2eynol$s (qv), @ojak, "a tain %icar$ etc. hairy che$ue book See hairy cu . hairy cup See hairy $onut. hairy donut See hairy lasso.

hairy goblet n. "eremonial love chalice as referre$ to in the o ular chat4 u line )7et me lea$ you to the altar of $esire, an$ there * shall $rink the juice of love from your hairy goblet). Dorks every time. hairy mits rhym. slang Tits. e.g. )7ook at the hairy mits on that; * coul$ $o her through a he$ge back&ar$s (qv)). hairy lasso See hairy ants. hairy pants See hairy ie. hairy pie n. @i er; velcro triangle. hairy saddlebags n. Scrots, usually, but also issfla s. hairy toffee n. 3angleberries (qv); @ling4ons. half leapfrog v. To have se1 in the $oggies (qv) osition. half rice half chips a$j. S&itch hitter (qv); one &ho $rinks from both ta s; bo&ls from both en$s; !"C3". hamburger n. 'f the female anatomy, that &hich can be seen in a hamburger shot (qv). hamburger shot n. ! rear vie& in a ornogra hic magazine from &hich the curtain $ro (qv) can be estimate$. ham fisted a$j. Danking. !s in )>is mum came in an$ caught him ham fiste$). ham howit"er n. ! military fiel$ &ea on $escen$e$ from the lamb canon (qv). hammock n. %anty liner; jam rag; sanitary to&el. "om are banana hammock, nork hammock. ham shank rhym. slang for a #arclays (qv). 'ampton 1*ick2 rhym. slang 3ick (the rinci le joke in -"arry 'n >enry.). !lso to get your >am ton "ourt 4 an acci$ent involving a zi . handful of sprats n. ,6FJs (istful of fish fingers (qv). hand #ob n. 5anual relief; one of the chea er services available at the rub4a4tug sho (qv), or in the ub car ark. "om are to less relief. hand shandy n. ! frothy one, ulle$ off the &rist. hand solo n. ! solitary han$ shan$y. hanging bacon See beef curtains, vertical bacon san$&ich. hanging salad n. De$$ing tackle (qv). hanky panky See sla an$ tickle. hapenny n. Aagina. happy lamp n. Si1th gear stick. !s inG )*.m horny (qv). Think *.ll give my ha y lam a quick buff). happy sack n. Scrotum; hairy sa$$lebags. hard on n. Doo$; a bone on; bonk on. "om are &i$e on. harlot n. "heckout girl at the rub4a4tug sho (qv). 'arry 1 onk2 rhym. slang S unk.

have it off v. To get a bit (qv); have a ortion (qv); give somebo$y one (qv). have the painters in v. To menstruate; be on the blob (qv) $uring rag &eek (qv). hawick (hoy4k) v. echoism To uke. !fter the Scottish bor$er to&n. !s in )* think *.m going to >a&ick). head n. Something &hich is given by &omen to men, an$ is after&ar$s $escribe$ as )goo$) by the reci ient &hen talking to frien$s. headlamps n. #ristols (qv). !s inG )%he&f; * &oul$n.t min$ giving her hea$ lam s a rub). See other automotive arts s oilers, si1teen4valve, si1th gear stick. heave v. To vomit; launch a avement izza (qv); release a lou$ technicolour ya&n (qv). heave a 'avana v. +ro& a tail; take a $um . See also bum cigar. hee ,. n. Thai 5inge; hairy cheque book. /. interj. 'ne of a series of noises ma$e by laughing gnomesC olicemen. helicopters& attack of the n. 3runken rolling of the hea$; su$$en remin$er that you nee$ to make an urgent call on the great &hite tele hone. See talking on the great &hite tele hone. helmet See bobbies helmet, 2oman helmet rumba. 'elmetdale n. ! strong smelling, mature knob cheese (qv). helmet pelmet n. (oreskin; @ojak.s roll4neck. 'erbies bonnet See beetle bonnet. 'ershey highway n. US equivalent of #ourneville boulevar$, "a$bury alley. 'ershey highwayman n. +entleman thief &ho shoots rusty sheriff.s ba$ges (qv) &ith his mutton musket (qv). hickies n. Sla er4s eak for love bites; shag tags. hide the salami n. ! be$4time game for t&o layers, one sausage an$ a hairy ie (qv). !lso sink the salami, bury the brat&urst. high pressure vein cane n. %enis; rick; tally4&hacker; >ector the meat injector. hipocrocadogapig n. The ultimate unattractive female; s&am $onkey; steg, etc. hissing (id n. The name of the one eye$ trouser snake (qv). hitch-hiking under the big top v. 'f &anking chariots (qv) an$ their o&ners, to shift into si1th gear; olish the tent ole. hitching to heaven v. 5ore meaty han$s to glans combat. 'itler tash n. 5a atasi (qv) or female ubic hair as neatly shave$ to fit &ithin the confines of a small bikini bottom. hit and miss rhym. slang %iss.

hoeing the 'P v. U hill gar$ening (qv) on the bro&n sauce allotment. hockmagandy n. The one $ay of the year &hen Scotsmen shag their &ives. hogans n. US "harlies; +ert Stonkers; 9orma Snockers. hogs eye n. The service hatch through &hich erseverance sou (qv) arrives. hole n. 2ing; quoit; hoo . holiday money n. 5ale genitalia; family je&els; meat an$ t&o veg. homose!ual n. ! man or &oman se1ually attracte$ to members of his or her o&n se1. 'ften at bus sto s. ((rom the +reek homos ecsuralos meaning -lifter of shirts..) honey alter See honey ot. honeypot See hairy cheque book. honkies n. +oo$ afternoons (qv). honk up See hoy u . hooker n. US %rostitute. hoop n. ! ring; quoit. hoop stretcher n. *n kitchens, one &ho hi$es the salami (qv) in the tea to&el hol$er (qv). hootchie n. US Totty; blit; muff. hootchie cootchie See jig4a4jig. hooter n. "onk; neb. hooters n. #azookas; ba s. hop n. acronym >ang 'ver %oo. +iant, e1cee$ingly loose stool, the noisy assing of &hich is a significant milestone in the recovery from a hang over. !s in )!hh; * feel much better after that ho . !nyone fancy a int8) hop into the horses collar v. 9i to the cock&ash (qv). horatio n. %osh 7atin term use$ by $octors for oral se1 on a man. hori"ontal horticulture n. ' osite of u hill gar$ening. hori"ontal #ogging n. >eterose1ual se1ual intercourse. hori"ontally accessible a$j. To $escribe a slag; bike; yo4yo knickers. horn n. "eremonial symbol of a man.s affection for a &oman, tra$itionally given by the &oman to the man. horny (ha4&oo4neh;;) a$j. The state of a man &hilst in ossession of the horn (qv). horses doofers n. su erlative 5utt.s nuts; $og.s bollocks; bees knees; $onkey.s knob. horses head& sitting on a v. 'f queues for the toilet, a more e1treme case of the turtle.s hea$ (qv). !s in )>urry u &ill you, *.m sitting on a horse.s hea$ out here). horses collar n. Aagina. !lso sim. to im ly generous ro ortions, as in

)She.s got a fanny like a horse.s collar) (as o ose$ to a mouse.s ear). See also cathe$ral. hosebag n. Doman of loose morals. She &ith a fanny like a bill oster.s bucket (qv). hose #ob See blo& job. hose monster See hosebag. hot a$j. "on$ition &hich, in conjunction &ith horny (qv), is often use$ to $escribe non4e1istent &omen &aiting on the en$ of e1 ensive tele hone se1 lines, e.g. )>ot an$ horny bitches thirsty for your love see$). hot dog n. !n egg $elicacy 4 something of an acquire$ taste 4 famously enjoye$ by the gay cult actor 3ivine. v. To eat sai$ morsel, freshly lai$. ?gg as in $og egg. hot fish yoghurt n. "ream sauce filling for hairy ie (qv). hot lunch n. See "levelan$ steamer. 'r better still, $on.t. hot meat in#ection See meat injection. hots n. 2eci rocal gift for a girl after she.s given you the horn (qv). hotty n. US See Totty. hound n. 3og; steg; boiler. 'owards *ay rhym. slang +ay. (rom the shit ##" TA $rama of the same name. hows your father n. Se1. 'ften refi1e$ )ahem). !s in )(ancy a quick bit of... ahem... ho&.s your father8) hoy up v. To thro& u ; heave; barf; s e&. huffle v. To bag i e (qv). 2obbie #urns, in ,JOO, &rote )'ch; * shall huffle, an$ uffle, an$ blo& your arm off). hum ,. v. To ming; stink. /. v. To sing &ith the li s close$, or as near to close$ as ossible $uring a hum job (qv). humdinger n. ! fart &hich makes the &all a er eel. hum #ob n. Aegetarian oral se1 involving no meat, just t&o veg., accom anie$ by simultaneous humming of the musical variety. hummer n. !rse; bum. hump ,. v. To shag; have se1. (This term officially cease$ to be o ular slang in ,LKF). /. v. To carry heavy am lification equi ment to an$ from a live music venue &hilst your arse sticks out the back of your jeans. humpty n. The act of hum ing (qv). hung like an Arab stallion a$j. 3onkey rigge$; &ell en$o&e$. hung like a Chinese mouse a$j. ' osite of hung like an !rab stallion (qv). hungry arse n. "on$ition afflicting &omen in tight jeans &hereby a crease in their ants a ears to $isa ear u the crack of their arse. "om are camel.s foot.

hurl v. To hoy (u ); call >uey. hussy n. Shameless &oman; $runk an$ an unfit mother.

7
7 cant believe its not batter %ossible a$vertising slogan for @H =elly. See fanny batter. 7CB acronym 'f mo$ern $ay state of the art trouser &ea onry, *nter "untinental #allistic 5issile. See also meat seeking issile, gui$e$ muscle. iced fingers n. #akers confectionery4s eak for the results of glazing the knuckle (qv). 7%B% % ,. *tty #itty 5eat. ! small enis. /. *nches #elo& 5uff. The units in &hich a skirt is measure$. interior decorating v. To a ly the o ulation aste (qv) &ith a ur le hea$e$ &omb broom (qv). in the club a$j. U the $uff; regnant; regas. abbr. in the u$$ing club. impersonate (talin v. To erform oral se1 on a &oman; $on the bear$; eat hairy ie. !s in )>ol$ tight u there love, *.m just gonna $o a quick im ersonation of Stalin). 7rish ,. n. >eterose1ual anal se1, su ose$ly as a means of contrace tion. "om are Aatican roulette. /. rhym slang -*rish jig 4 &ig. 7rish shave n. ! $um . 7rish toothache n. ?rection; bone. !s in )*s that a gun in your ocket, or have you just got *rish toothache8) iron 1hoof2 rhym. slang %oof. 7%5%(% *tchy 2ing Syn$rome. *rritating anal affliction cause$ by insufficient &i ing of the chocolate starfish (qv), or by inflammation of the farmers (qv). 7 say4 interj. "a$$ish e1 ression of $elight u on seeing an attractive &oman. itch n. The feeling of se1ual attraction to&ar$s his &ife &hich a marrie$ man gets on average once every L years. 7tchypoo Park n. The area aroun$ the chocolate starfish (qv) $uring a bout of *.2.S. (qv).

+
#ack off v. Dhack off; choke the chicken; jerk the gherk4in. "om are jill off. #ack roll n. ,. S. !frican +ang bang. /. US 5ugging. #acked up a$j. To be celibate &hilst suffering from a venereal $isease. #ack shit n. #ugger all; s&eet (!; zero; zilch. #acksie n. %olite &or$ for arse, es ecially in the rece rece ticular

conte1t. e.g. )Hou can stick your fucking arking ticket u your jacksie, mate. *.m not aying). #acksie rabbit n. 5u$$y funster; >ershey high&ayman. #ack the beanstalk See jiggle the je&ellery. #ail bait n. Dorms $ug u by tunnelling risoners an$ later, after their esca e, use$ for fishing. #ake n. ,. %rou$ monument erecte$ in the memory of a nice air of knockers you once sa&, or a notable scene from a blue movie. /. Scot. Ugly &oman. #amboree bags n. (unbags (qv). #ammer n. =amaican %u$. See also &in$ jammer. #am rag n. Tam on. #am raid n. "rimson ti$al movement &hich leaves tuna to&n (qv) inaccessible by skin boat (qv) at certain times of the month. +ane n. %rimarily a la$ies lavatory, but being the o osite of =ohn (qv) in all senses. #ang n. 3ong. +apanese flag n. ! earance of the arsehole &hen blighte$ by ring sting (qv). !s inG )!aagh; 'oyah; *.m sitting on a =a anese flag). +aps eye n. 5ale urethral o ening; hog.s eye. #arred a$j. %isse$; sloshe$; &ankere$. +% Arthur 15ank2 rhym. slang Dank. (or e1am le, &hile &atching blue movies =onathon 2oss might sayG )%h&&oar; Dhat * &eally &ant &ight no& is a quick =. !rfur). #a"" n. ,. (a$ge; mott. /. Se1; intercourse. #a"" mag n. %rinte$ volume of ornogra hic material; gentleman.s interest journal. +B See =o$rell. #elly hammock See $ri tray. #elly roll n. US ,. (anny; muff; totty. /. Se1; roll in the hay. #elly water mangoes n. 7arge knockers; gazunkas. +enny n. US #oris; minge. #erk n. Stu i$, $im or $ull erson. #erk off See jack off. #erkin the gherkin v. 5asturbatory variation on the rhyme lus cucumberCcock similarity theme. #erkwad n. US Tosser; fuck&it; &anki ants. !$a table insult, literally a -masturbation bun$le.. #ewels See family je&els. #ig-a-#ig n. *t (qv); jiggery okery. #igger ,Kth" n. That tool &ith &hich a man commits jiggery okery (qv).

#iggered a$j. #uggere$; knackere$; shagge$ out; jiggery oke$. #iggery pokery n. Shennanigans; ambiguous se1ual goings on. !s in )*.ll have no jiggery okery going on un$er my roof). #iggle the #ewellery v. See jerkin the gherkin. +ill off v. (emale equivalent of =ack off (qv); a$$le the ink canoe. Until it leaks. +immy 5iddle rhym. slang Aicar frien$ly term for a i$$le. #ism n. Semen. !lso gism, jissom, jizz, jizzom. #it gel n. US The contents of a use$ con$om once it has floate$ across the !tlantic. #it gel rag n. US !ny available object on &hich you &i e your cock after se1, e.g. tissues, T shirt, un$er ants, curtains. #ittler n. >elmet cheese. #i"" abbr. n. =ism; th 4unk. v. To shoot your loa$; come; ejaculate. #i""bags n. Scrotum; =ohn Dayne.s hairy sa$$lebags. #i"" #ar n. +irlfrien$. %robably consi$ere$ $erogatory, although you.$ think they.$ take it as a com liment. +oan Collins knickers See tart.s &in$o& bo1. #ob n. ! 2ichar$ (qv). See also on the job. #obby& a big Scotch =ob. #obby #ouster n. ! lunchbo1 lancer &ho jousts &ith another man.s jobs (qv). #ockies rhym. slang 9i les. =ockies &hi s 4 ni s. +odrell 1Bank2 rhym. slang =. !rthur 2ank (qv). (rom the @nuts... fnarr fnarr; (qv) ...for$ s ace research centre. +ohn n. %ercy, Dillie etc. See also =ohn Thomas. +ohn& a n. *n rostitution, a client; >illman >unter. +ohn& the n. Toilet. +ohnny See rubber =ohnny. +ohn Thomas n. The et name by &hich 7a$y "hatterley.s lover (horizontal gar$ener 5ellor) referre$ to his ink hoe in the controversial steamy novel by >arry Dorth. +ohn *aynes hairy saddlebags See hairy sa$$lebags. #oombye (joom4bee) n. Scot. =ism; jizz; 5cS unk. #osser n. ,6th" (uck&it or arasite. The i$eal name for someone &ho is both. #oystick n. 'f cho ers (qv), the cock it instrument or knob (qv) &hich gets throttle$; trouser toy; ant laything. #ubblies n. #reasts; funbags; ink ouffes. Sometimes )&ubbly) jubblies. #ubnuts n. #ea$ curtains; $angleberries; $ags. #ugs n. (emale breasts. !s inG )%ar$on me ma$am, * &as just a$miring your

lovely air of jugs). +ulf acronym =um e$ u little fucker; ushy t&at. #unior n. US %enis, usually use$ in reference to one.s o&n. #ump v. To have se1. !lso jum someone.s bones. e.g. )* feel like jum ing on some bones tonight).

kahoonas (ka4hooo4naaaz) n. 7arge &obbly breasts; gol$en bo$angers; kermungers; +ert Stonkers. kak % ka ka See cack. kak kla!on n. 2ectal hooter from &hich lou$ anal honks are emitte$, together &ith the occasional follo& through (qv). kakpipe cosmonaut n. >e &ho refers to $ock in the rear unloa$ing bay. kangaroo shagging a spacehopper sim. ?nergetic se1 or a romiscuous &oman. !s in )#loo$y hell; * bet she goes like a kangaroo shagging a s ace ho er). !lso shithouse $oor in the &in$. ka"oo n. US! #utt; bum. kecks % kegs n. Shre$$ies; trollies; un$er ants. keck cackler n. >e &ho cackles in his kecks. See keck cougher. keck cougher n. >e &ho bur s back&ar$s; emits un$er thun$er (qv). keech % keek n. "ra ; kak. keister n. kak hole; arse. khaki buttonhole See chocolate starfish. kha"i n. Shitter; bog. -hyber rhym. slang !rse. (rom @hyber %ass. %ass ronounce$ as in )me the cucumber san$&iches.). kick with the left foot v. Dhat layers &ho arrive on the other bus (qv) ten$ to $o; football equivalent of bo&ling from the %avilion en$ (qv). kidney wiper n. Slat (qv) rattler. See also ur le hea$e$ &omb broom. kife n. ,. collective #lart; totty; bir$s. /. Se1. kilt See skirt. kipper n. #illingsgate bo1; minge; ca tain.s ie. kipper basting v. Shagging. kipper for breakfast n. To rise early an$ go for a horizontal jog (qv); i$eal cure for $a&n horn (qv). kissing tackle n. 9orth an$ south; gob. kiss the porcelain god See talking on the great &hite tele hone. -it--at shuffler n. 5asturbatoress; &easel buffer; gusset ty ist. kitten hammock n. #ra. kittens noses n. 9i les. kling-ons n. ,. Dinnets; $angleberries; anal hangers4on. /. 'ne of

numerous races of Star Trek alien &ith bum y forehea$s. klut" n. Thickhea$. orig. +erman meaning -block of &oo$.. knackers (na4kaz) n. #alls; nuts; testicles. !s inG )'oyaah; *.ve knacke$ me knackers;) knee trembler n. *ntercourse &hile both arties are stan$ing u . 'ften in a sho $oor&ay. knicker bandit n. 2ai$er of &ashing lines; 3az back $oorste challenger. knob ,. n. %enis; rick; =ohn Thomas. /. v. To shag. !s in )* knobbe$ the arse off her). knob cheese n. ,. Smeg4ma. /. (oreskin feta foun$ un$erneath @ojak.s roll4neck (qv) an$ aroun$ the banjo (qv) or cheese ri$ge. !lso knob Stilton, knob yoghurt, >elmet$ale (qv). knob chopper n. %recariously balance$ lavatory seat &hich falls $o&n &hile you.re having a iss an$ therefore must be hel$ u manually. knob head % knob end n. (uck &it; thick hea$; oaf. knob #ockey n. Someone &ho sits on a $oor han$le &hilst the $oor is in motion for se1ual gratification. knob shiner n. Someone &ho is al&ays re are$ to olish a ink oboe (qv). knocker nest n. #ra. See also over the shoul$er boul$er hol$er, kitten hammock. knockers ,. n. #reasts. !s in )Dhat a lovely air of knockers). /. n. 'f football un$itry, those &ho have criticise$ a layer in the ast. !s in )Dell #rian, the la$ has certainly ha$ his knockers). knocking shop n. #rothel; rub4a4tug arlour; ub or club &here &omen go to be icke$ u ; meat mart. knock one on v. To have se1 (&ith a artner). knock one out v. To have se1 (&ith yourself). know& in the Biblical sense v. To have shagge$. !s in )7ast year at "lub ,K40J * kne& about forty bir$s in a #iblical sense, in eight $ays; !n$ another si1 sucke$ me off). -o#aks roll-neck n. (oreskin. #ase$ on the sla hea$e$ lolly sucking LJs TA $etective. kosher dill n. "ircumcise$ salami; @ojak minus the collar. -uwaiti tanker See merch4ant banker. kweef n. US ! um (qv) from the front bottom (qv); a $ro of the hat, for&ar$s.

,
lab kebab n. abbr. 7abia kebab. Aertical bacon san$&ich; fur burger. labia lard See fanny batter. labrador lipstick n. Stalk; erection.

lace curtain n. @ojak.s roll4neck (qv). ,ady Chalk of Billingsgate n. Thrush; infection of the vagina. !s in )* regret to announce that 7a$y "halk of #illingsgate is visiting at this resent time). ,ake *endouree n. !us. ?jaculation, e.g. )'h my +o$... Uuughh; *.m in 7ake Den$ouree;) (rom the lake at #allarat (qv) !ustralia. langball n. Ty e of $angleberry (qv) &hich attaches itself to =ohn Dayne.s hairy sa$$lebags (qv). langer n. %enis. langered See lathere$. lamb cannon n. !n arms $evelo ment $ating some&here bet&een the mutton musket (qv) an$ the bacon bazooka (qv). lapper n. %ink oboe (qv) virtuoso; hairy ie eater. lash on& get a bit v. To fin$ some female com any. !s in )>o&ay, let.s gan oot an. get a bit lash on). last meat supper n. (inal fling before marriage. *t.s all fish su ers (qv) thereafter. lathered a$j. %isse$; lastere$; alatic. launch your lunch v. To laugh liqui$ly. See liqui$ laughter. lavatory n. Smallest room; little house; loo; &ater closet; convenience; lace of easement; shithouse; cra er; rivy; bog; latrine; cackatorium; tem le of cloacina; toilet; kharzi; thun$er bo1; comfort station. lavender n. 5ale homose1ual. lavender marriage n. !ny matrimonial cou ling about &hich there is a &hiff of laven$er (qv). lay n. %ros ective or ast se1ual artner. !s in )* kne& your &ife many years ago. She &as a terrific lay). lay a cable v. #uil$ a log cabin; gro& a tail; $ro a co er bolt. See also cable laying. lay-and-display n. ! ty e of ?uro ean lavatory &here the stool lan$s on a $ry orcelain surface rior to being flushe$ a&ay. la"y lob on n. Semi erect enis; $obber. lead in your pencil& to have a$j. To be &ith big beef olive rather than loose sausage meat (qv). lead the llama to the lift shaft v. %oint %ercy at the vagina. leg lifter n. #enefactor (qv). Somebo$y &ho breaks com any (qv). leg man n. >e &ho refers legs to tits or arses. leg over n. ! sausage an$ $onut situation (qv). !s in )3i$ you get your leg over8) )9o, but * got to s an$ three fingers). left-footer n. +ay or catholic erson, but i$eally one &ho is both. left the lid off the glue-pot v. To smell of s unk. !s in )%oo; Someone.s

left the li$ off the glue ot). length n. ! vague unit of se1, as is often )sli e$) to a &oman by a man. See also one. ,eo (ayer rhym. slang !ll $ayer. #en$er; rolonge$ $rinking session; all $ay arty. lepidopterist n. %erson &ho collects butterflies e.g. Aal 3oonican. lesbiany (lez4bee4uh4nee) a$j. ! ertaining to lesbianism. (or e1am le, in a rub4a4tug sho (qv) one might enquire )!ny chance of you an$ your mate $oing something lesbiany8) lesbo n. Tu ence licker; bean flicker; car et muncher; lickalota us; $yke. let off v. To fart; blo& off; launch an air biscuit. let one go v. The re4 lanne$ release of a fart into the &il$. let Percy in the playpen n. "onsent to intercourse; allo& %ercy (qv) into the tunnel for a shunt. let rip v. (art; blast off. lettuce n. %iss fla s. lettuce licker n. 7esbian; bean flicker; tu ence licker. le""a See lesbo. le""o boots n. !ny clum y, unfeminine foot&ear &orn by &omen. The o osite of fuck me shoes. lickalotopus n. Scientific name for a tu ence licker (qv) of rehistoric re tilian ro ortions. lick both sides of the stamp v. To $rive on both si$es of the roa$; travel on both buses; !3C3". lid n. #it above the brim (qv). lifting the cheek v. The sly behaviour of a cushion cree er (qv). lils n. ,6FJsCOJs Tits. lingam n. !ncient >in$u %enis. 'ne of a air, the other being yoni (qv). lip reading v. 'bserving &omen in tight ants &ho have the camel.s foot (qv). !s in )*f she ben$s over any more *.ll be able to rea$ her li s from here). See also T&i1 li s, mumblers. lip ring n. ! li stick line aroun$ the ork s&or$ (qv) sho&ing ho& far it has been s&allo&e$. lipstick lesbian n. +lamorous, feminine female homose1ual, as foun$ on the a$ult channel but rarely $o&n the ub. li$uid laughter n. %uke; syche$elic yo$elling. little death n. (rench *n a male, the ost bonk feeling of shagge$ outity. living in the Pavilion v. *ntensifier of bo&ling from the %avilion en$ (qv) . !s in )>e $oesn.t bo&l from the %avilion en$, mate. That one lives in the fucking %avilion). lobcock n. ! large, flacci$ enis such as coul$ be lobbe$ onto a ub table

by its $runken o&ner. log n. #um cigar; bro&n trout. log cabin See buil$ a log cabin. loon pipe n. !nus. loop the loop v. To or$er a vertical bacon san$&ich (qv) to eat out an$ a $rink on a stick (qv) for the la$y; 9o.O6 on the menu. loose at the hilt a$j. To have $iarrhoea; cro s ray (qv). loose sausage meat n. (lacci$ enis &hich cannot be funnelle$ into a con$om. !s in )Sorry love, my sausage meat seems a bit loose). See also stuffing the marshmallo&. lose your manners v. To fart. lose your mess v. ?jaculate; shoot your loa$. lotties n. #reasts. love bumps n. (unbags; guns of 9avarone. love #uice n. That liqui$ ro$uce$ in the #illingsgate bo1 (qv) u on &hich the skin boat (qv) sails. 'ften referre$ to as luv jooz in ,6LJs scu$ literature. love palace n. That magical lace &hich lies &ithin the alace gates (qv). love socket n. Aagina; entry oint for the main cable (qv). !lso rocket socket, ser ent socket, s am socket. love puff n. +entle air biscuit (qv) launche$ in the $irection of your artner in be$, often the morning after a curry, in an attem t to cement the intimacy of the moment. See also 3utch oven. love sausage n. #anger serve$ &ith love s u$s (qv). love spuds n. 2oot vegetable foun$ in the shre$$ies (qv). love torpedo n. %enis. !s inG )* sank her bacon battleshi &ith my ur le4 hot love tor e$o). love truncheon See love tor e$o. love tunnel n. That lace in &hich %ercy (qv) the small engine shunts his loa$. lucky Pierre n. *n botting (qv) circles, the busiest botting link in a three man bum chain (qv); the filling in a shirt lifter san$&ich. lunchbo! n. *n #ritish tabloi$ journalism, that cons icuous bulge &hich a ears in athlete 7infor$ "hristie.s shorts; acket. lunchbo! lancer n. archaic 5e$iaeval term for a cocoa shunter (qv). (irst use$ by @ing !rthur to $escribe the (rench army. *n FO/ !3 he &roteG )(ear not the (rench, for their knights are &ithout heart, an$ their @ing &ithout &is$om. #ut kee thine backs as to the &all, for amongst their number thou shalt fin$ more than a fe& lunchbo1 lancers, * can tell you). luncheon truncheon See s am javelin. lunching at the ,a"y 8 v. 3ining out co&boy style, on hairy ie (qv), beans

an$ coffee. lung butter n. %hlegm; green smoking oysters. lychees n. ! s&eeter, more e1otic knacker4s eak alternative to lums (qv).

mac in the bath n. ?nglish overcoat; (rench letter. *n the same vein &ellies on the beach. mack n. %enis; ta$ger. mackerel n. %im ; controller of rostitutes. adam Palm and her five sisters n. ! &ank. !s inG )*.m ni ing off to be$ &ith 5a$am %alm an$ her five sisters). See also %almela >an$erson. main cable n. Hour live see$ (qv) fee$ into the love socket (qv). make a bald man cry v. 5asturbate. !s in )>ave you seen age 0 of The Sun to$ay8 *t.s enough to make a bal$ man cry). make babies v. To go bone jum ing; horizontal jogging. make like a Chinese helicopter pilot v. 5asturbate; grin like a &anking =a (qv) &hilst olishing the joystick (qv). makes your shit hang sideways a$j. *s annoying. !s in )That guy makes my shit hang si$e&ays). mambas See mammaries. mammaries n. 5ammary glan$s; s&inging ink milk churns; knockers. mammary dandruff n. 5orning after resi$ue from a sausage san$&ich (qv); remains of a earl necklace (qv). "om are muff$ruff. manfat n. Semen. !lso man milk. manging See minging. mangoes See jelly &ater mangoes. manhood n. 'f #ritish tabloi$ journalism, the enis. man mayonnaise n. See manfat, gentleman.s relish. man trap n. (emale genitals; hairy love it, one4eye$ trouser snake snare. mapatasi (ma4 a4ta4zee) n. !us. 5inge. !s inG )Sho& us yer ma atasi, Sheila). abbr. 5a of Tasmania. (rom the similarity in sha e of sai$ islan$ to a muff. map of Africa n. The unfortunate stain left on the be$ sheet an$ often the mattress belo& after an e1change of bo$ily flui$s. !lso ma of *relan$. maracas n. @nackers; clackers; those that s&ing beneath tally&hackers. marge n. ! loose &oman. origin. 5argarine, &hich -s rea$s easily.. margold n. The ability to $o five o shots (qv) in t&o hours. To -$o a margol$.. !fter a boast by orn actor #ill 5argol$ on "hannel E.s !fter 3ark.

marks out of two9 rom t (rom one ogling male to another, to cue the re ly )*.$ give her one). marmalade madam n. ,Lth". Tom; $o1y; fla er; lace$ mutton. armite driller n. Dorkman on the 5armite motor&ay (qv). armite motorway n. !nus; arse; back assage. armite stripe n. #ro&n stain or ski$mark (qv) foun$ on un&ashe$ shre$$ies (qv). See also russet gusset. ary n. ,. S onge; illo& biter; angel. /. #ean flicker. mattress muncher See illo& biter. meat and two veg% n. %ork sausage an$ love s u$s (qv). meat flute See be$ flute. meat in#ection n. !n inoculation against virginity; the taking of girl.s internal tem erature &ith the ink, hot, mercury s itting thermometer. meat market n. #ar or club &here bir$s &ith short skirts an$ blotchy legs $ance &ith their han$bags, &aiting for a ull (qv). !lso meat rack. meat seeking pissile n. %enis; love tor e$o. See also *"#5, gui$e$ muscle. melons n. (emale breasts. !lso available from the $ouble enten$re fruit stall large ears, have a banana, nice lums, luv4er4ly bunches of coconuts etc. melvin v. To grab by the balls. merchant 1banker2 rhym. slang Danker. merkin n. 5anma$e ma atasi; a stoat syru ; ubic *rish. mess n. Semen; gunk; cock hockle. See also lose your mess. me"oomas n. %ink velvet cushions on &hich the family je&eller refers to $is lay a earl necklace (qv). ichaels rhym. slang %iles. (rom the ,6LJs TA game sho& host 5ichael 5iles. !s in )These nylon trollies $on.t half chaff me 5ichaels). ickey n. *rish. 3ick. middle leg n. %enis. !lso mi$$le stum , thir$ leg. milk the snake v. Snake, as in one eye$ trouser. 5ilk, as in the creamy stuff $elivere$ by the milkman (qv). milkman n. S urt 2eynol$s (qv); =ohn Thomas. milk the milkman See milk the snake. milk race n. ,. !$olescent &anking game for t&o or more ublic school chil$ren. /. ! barrack room toss4u to $eci$e &ho eats the last cream cracker. mince medallions n. 3angleberries; kling4ons. ming ,. Scotch v. To emit a foul smell. !s inG )>oots mon, it.s minging in here;) /. v. To e1u$e ugliness. !s inG )*n the KJs %eter #ear$sley.s erm &as minging). 0. The bill E. The evil ?m eror in (lash +or$on.

minge (minnnn4j) n. (anny; quim. minge binge n. The frantic fish eating s ree of the gash gannet. minge mat n. 5a atasi; velcro triangle. minge winker n. ,. Stri tease artist. /. She &ho flashes her gash, e.g. &hilst fol$ing her legs. mink n. ! more u 4market name for the &ife.s beaver (qv). minnie moo n. 5inge. iss ,incolnshire n. !ny &oman &ith s aniel.s ears (qv). See also 3utch !l s. mohair knickers n. 7arge, unruly minnie moo (qv); one &ith s i$ers legs (qv). moist and meaty a$j. !lliterating a$jectives use$ e1tensively to $escribe the female an$ male genitals res ectively, as &ell as $og foo$. monkey n. Aagina. !s inG )3oes the monkey &ant a banana8) monkeys chin n. T&i1 li s; beetle bonnet; rominent moun$ of Aenus. !s in )"heck the fucking monkey.s chin on that;) monkeys forehead n. ,. velcro triangle; ma atasi. /. The front to bit of Sun$erlan$ manager %eter 2ei$.s hee$. onte"umas revenge n. ! term for $iarrhoea not a reciate$ by 5e1icans. !lso the Tijuana cha4cha (qv). moo n. 7ong suffering &ife. !s in )Dhere.s me bla$$y tea, eh8 Hou silly ol$ moo). moosen. #oiler; steg. 'ften a feminist &ith hairy arm its. moped n. (at &oman. (un to ri$e, but you &oul$n.t tell your mates about it. more tea vicar9 (au1 farcical attem t to $istract clergyman after the launch of an air biscuit (qv) no& &i$ely use$ to $iffuse ost fart tension. 'ne of many o ular ostflatulus remarks inclu$ing se& a button on that, catch that one an$ aint it blue, goo$ health;, in a tail on that an$ there goes the ele hant. morning glory n. The a earance of a tent ole (qv) first thing in the morning. See also $a&n horn. moss cottage n. The i$eal home for =ohn Thomas. mott n. 5inge; ma atasi. mound of 0enus n. "raggy outcro above salmon canyon (qv) usually hi$$en by a $ense covering of bush (qv). !lso beetle bonnet, monkey.s forehea$. mount v. To (hairy) sa$$le4(bag) u an$ ri$e. mouses ear sim. ' osite of a horse.s collar (qv). r 'appys business suit n. "on$om. r +ones ,. ,6th" n. %enis. /. ! butcher &ho frequently ur orts that

)they $on.t like it u -em). r (ausage n. The e1citable trouser man. r *hippy n. (lagellation; cor oral unishment $ishe$ out at rug4a4tug sho s (qv). muck n. 5ess (qv); baby bullion; loa$. !s in )Shoot your muck). muck spreader n. !rse; bum. mud n. ?1crement. muddy funster n. #otter (qv); anal S&am y; he &ho su ose$ly tunnels in mu$ (qv). mud hole n. That hole from &hich you blo& mu$ (qv); cro s rayer; cable layer. mud valve mechanic See bro&n i e engineer. mudeye n. !rse; ring iece; your ol$ fashione$ lastic tea to&el hol$er % muff ,. n. 5inge; fanny. /. v. To shag; have intercourse &ith. 0. v. To fluff (not to be confuse$ &ith fluffer (qv)); miss an easy goal scoring o ortunity, e.g. )'h fuck; !n$y "ole has muffe$ it). muff diver n. ! footballer &ho misses an easy goal scoring o ortunity, then falls over in an attem t to &in a enalty kick. muff divers dental floss n. (emale ubic hair. muff huff n. 5enstruation or %5T. See also erio$ $rama. muff nudge n. The light brushing of your favourite female hair$resser.s beetle bonnet (qv) against your elbo&s &hile she leans for&ar$ to cut your hair. muffin ,. n. #rea$ base$ bakery ro$uct. /. %resent tense of the verb to muff. 0. n. ,6OJs TA mule &hose name remains a source of er etual hilarity among the el$erly an$ infirm. !lso fresh from the bakery crum et, tiffin. mullered See langere$. mullet n. That strange haircut favoure$ by country an$ &estern singers an$ eighties footballers. mulligan n. !us. %enis. mumblers n. Tight &omen.s bicycle shorts through &hich you )see the li s move but can.t un$erstan$ a &or$). See also T&i1 li s, camel.s foot, hungry arse, li rea$ing. mung n. %articularly runny ty e of arse feta (qv). municipal cockwash n. #ike; bo1 of assorte$ creams; buttere$ bun. See cock&ash. musical vegetables n. #ake$ beans, as eaten by co&boys an$ trouser trum eteers. mustang n. 'f shitty arses, that stubborn $angleberry (qv) &hich cannot be shaken off.

mutton musket n. ! smaller more ortable fiel$ &ea on than the lamb cannon (qv). !lso mutton bayonet, mutton $agger. mutts nuts a$j. "anine contraction of $og.s bollocks..

6
nads n. @nackers; testicles; lums. (abbr. gona$s). US nar$s. nadbag n. 9utsack; o$ ouch; scrot sling. nauticals rhym. slang %iles. (rom -nautical miles.. navigator of the windward pass n. 2ear a$miral (qv). neddies See nellies. nellies n. @nockers; tits. nether eye n. That single unseeing eye, situate$ in the nether region, &hich cries bro&n, lum y tears. nether throat n. *n farting, the oot chute; botty bugle. !s in )%ar$on me &hile * clear my nether throat). nettie n. 'utsi$e loo; clart cabin; shite house. niags rhym. slang Testicles. (rom 9iagra (alls 4 balls. nick bent a$j. Tem orarily travelling on the other bus (qv) &hilst staying at >er 5ajesty.s leasure. niffkins bridge n. (emale equivalent of the biffin bri$ge or barse (qv). nine-bob-note& as bent as a sim. +ay. nob v. To shag; oke; enetrate &ith the knob (qv). 6obbies rhym. slang. %iles; (rom 9obby Stiles, a ,6OO version of %aul *nce. noddy n. "on$om; (rench letter; cock -hol$er.. nodge v. To observe the se1ual activity of others. nodger n. %ee ing Tom; voyeur. Danker &ho refers to &ank )live) rather than to a vi$eo. nocturnal emission n. 3octalk for a &et $ream. nookey ,. n. Se1, only a bit (qv) of &hich it is a$visable to have at any one time, an$ thereforeG /. ! -humorous. name for a ventriloquist.s $ummy. nork hammock n. 'f female fashions, a halter neck to . norks n. Tits; knockers. !lso norkers, norgs, norgers. See also nork hammock. 6orma (nockers n. Diel$y bo jangles (qv). See also +ert Stonkers. norton n. #ear$e$ clam. nosh 1someone2 off v. To erform hilately on a &oman; eat hairy ie. (emale equivalent of to suck (someone) off. nudger n. +ay male or gay male.s enis. !lso fu$ge nu$ger. nuggets n. ,. Testicles. /. !ny ine$ible art of a chicken or turkey, &hen coate$ in batter or brea$crumbs.

number one n. ! enny; tinkle. number two n. ! sit $o&n; tu ence. nunga munching v. The ganneting of hairy ie (qv); the $oing of horatio (qv). nunnery n. ?lizabethan name for a rub4a4tug sho (qv) from an age &hen nuns &ere &i$ely believe$ to &ear yo4yo knickers (qv). nuts n. "lackers; knackers; hairy conkers; marbles; bollocks; o$s. nut custard See banana yoghurt. nuts ,. n. @nackers; scrotum an$Cor its contents, as in )*.m going to shave my nuts). /. a$j. 5a$, as in )Shave your nuts8 Hou must be nuts). 0. n. Things that monkey.s eat. !s in )That monkey.s nuts. * gave it some nuts an$ its rubbing them on its nuts). nut chokers n. @ecks; shre$$ies; thun$er bags. nut sack n. Scrotum; na$ bag. nymph n. Se1y young bir$. nympho n. Se1 craze$ bir$ that.s gagging for it (qv) /E hours a $ay, L $ays a &eek. The sort &ho &oul$ shag a neumatic $rill an$ blo& u the generator.

/
oats n.! ortion (qv) &hich you get $uring se1. oil the bat v. %olish the ork s&or$; lubricate the lamb canon. off your face a$j. Shitface$. off your trolley a$j. >atstan$; mental. olivia v. To have se1 &ith several filthy tram s on a iss staine$ mattress, all at once. oil the truncheon v. To buff u the bobbies helmet; collect kin$ling; &ank. old holborn n. The fraye$ e$ges of the velcro triangle (qv); a ant moustache (qv). See also s i$ers legs. old man n. %enis. !s in )The ol$ man.s been out of &ork for si1 months. 5ost $ays &e lay ocket billiar$s (qv) to kee him occu ie$). !lso ol$ fella. onanism (oh4nuh4nism) n. ,. *ncom lete se1ual intercourse. /. ! osh &or$ &hat the Bueen might use for &anking an$ that. one cheek sneak n. The stealthy a roach to shooting bunnies (qv). (rom a sitting osition, lifting one buttock in or$er to sli$e out an aurally un$etecte$ air biscuit (qv). See also cushion cree er, leg lifter. one-eyed trouser snake n. +entleman.s ant ython; se1 ser ent; cock. one-eyed *illie n. %enis. one-eyed *illies eye patch n. "on$om; ?nglish overcoat.

one n. ! non4s ecific unit of se1 )given) to a &oman by a man. See also ortion. one eyed trouser snake See one eye$ ant ython. one eyed pant python See one eye$ zi er fish one eyed "ipper fish See "yclo s. one handed mag n. =azz magazine; rhythm rea$; art am hlet; orny erio$ical. one holed flute See be$ flute. one in the pump& to have v. To have the hots for a female. !s in )%hoar; *.ve got one in the um for her, * can tell you). 3rinking arlance for a int ai$ for but not yet oure$. one off the wrist v. (ive knuckle shuffle; &ank; han$ shan$y. on the bonk a$j. Sergeant Sausage &hen stan$ing to attention. on the blob a$j. 2i$ing the menstrual cycle; having the ainters in; flags are out. on the hoy a$j. 'n the iss; on the razz; hoying it $oon ya neck, an$ then back u again. on the #ob a$j. !t it (qv). #usying oneself &ith the artner.s lumbing. on the other bus a$j. >omose1ual; bo&ling from the %avilion en$. on the pull a$j. (ishing for ki er (qv). on the salmon See salmon. on the slipway a$j. 'f stools an$ stool movement, to have the turtles hea$ (qv). !s in )+et out of that fucking bathroom &ill you, *.ve got one on the sli &ay). on the sniff See on the ull. on the tap See oot on the ta . oomph4 n. Se1 a eal, as in )#y crikey, she.s got some oom h;) oot on the tap a$j. 'ut on the ull (qv), as o ose$ to on the hoy (qv). open your lunchbo! v. To float an air biscuit (qv) reminiscent of yester$ay.s egg san$&iches in o$our. orchestras rhym. slang 'rchestra stalls 4 balls. orgasm See fanny bomb, ring the bell, shoot your loa$, chuck your muck. /scar n. US 3ick; enis. other& a bit of the See hanky anky. otters nose n. Dhen getting fingers an$ to s (qv), that &hich is felt by the former. !s in )* got a result last night. * touche$ the otter.s nose). over the shoulder boulder holder n. *n$ustrial bra; heavy lifting a aratus for jelly &ater mangoes (qv). owner operator n. Danker; a knight &ho &iel$s his ork s&or$ for leasure, not for the benefit of fair mai$ens.

own up v. *n a breaking com any (qv) situation, to i$entify oneself as the benefactor (qv).

P
packet n. The contents of the kecks (qv) visible in relief u on the trouser leg. 5ale equivalent of the camel.s foot (qv). paddle the pink canoe v. 5ore rela1e$ version of &hite&ater &risting (qv) for girls. Deeken$ recreational ursuit of the gusset ty ist (qv). painters See have the ainters in. painting the ceiling v. >itch hiking &ith the big to remove$; the one han$e$ snake charming of the ant ython. paisley removal n. %ointing %ercy (qv) $irectly at an area of ebble $ashing (qv) in or$er to amuse oneself $uring a "hinese singing lesson (qv). See also iss olo. palace gates n. (anny li s; beef curtains (qv). Palmela and her five sisters See 5a$am %alm. Palmela 'anderson n. Hour $ream $ate to go out for a cruise in the &anking chariot (qv). pander v. To act as a go4bet&een in an act of se1ual intrigue. (or e1am le, to go an$ buy a hamster an$ some arcel ta e for that o$$ cou le in the flat belo&. n. an$erer. pantie hamster n. 5inge. pan handle n. ?rect enis; &oo$; stalk; a bonk on. pant hamster n. 9atural rey of the one4eye$ trouser snake. pant moustache n. ?ffect achieve$ &hen the ma atasi (qv) e1ten$s symmetrically beyon$ either si$e of the shre$$ies (qv). See also s i$er.s legs. pants ,. interj. ?1clamation of $ismay. /. n. 2ubbish; shit; ig.s arse; bollocks. !s inG )Hou.re talking ants;). papper v. To shit. !s in )'h no, * think * just a ere$ me trollies (qv)). paps n. 'l$e Dorl$e Tits. parallel parked a$j. *n be$ together; having se1. e.g. )Dere you arallel arke$ &ith her last night8) )9ot half; * &as u to the bum er (qv) mate). parfume de plop n. !cri$ o$our &hich accom anies a t&in tone (qv) an$ heral$s the arrival in the bomb bay (qv) of a %eter '.Toole. park the custard v. To vomit. park the fudge v. To shit; ass a stool; crim off a length. park the pink bus v. To sli a la$y a length (qv). !s in )Time for be$. "ome on, let.s ark the ink bus in the furry garage). park the tiger v. To uke; yo$el; let out a techinicolour ya&n. parlour n. #ack assage. !s in )>is ork rescri tion &as most

efficacious, taken in the arlour of course). park your breakfast v. 7ight a bum cigar; lay a cable. particulars n. 'f lo& bu$get #ritish se1 come$ies involving olice officers, la$ies un$er&ear; knickers. !s in ) >e14scuse me me$.m, but * h4 may nee$ to take $o&n a fe& articulars). ((narr fnarr; (qv)) passion flaps n. ! more romantic alternative to iss fla s. passion pit n. #e$. See also fart sack, scratcher, &anking chariot. passion wagon n. "la e$ out van, usually a (or$ Transit, &ith blacke$ out &in$o&s an$ a iss staine$ mattress an$ several em ty beer cans in the back. !lso shag &agon. pavement pi""a n. The contents of your stomach as they a ear after barfing (qv) in the street; a arke$ tiger. pearl necklace n. Those globular consequences of having a sausage san$&ich (qv) at the #illy 5ill roun$about (qv). !s in )* gave her a beautiful earl necklace). pebble dash v. To cro s ray (qv) the toilet bo&l &ith clarts (qv). pecker ,. US n. %enis. /. U@ n. 9ose. pee See iss. peel v. ,. To stri ; ose nu$e. /. Dhen so $oing, to $ra& back the beef curtains (qv). !s in )"rikey, have you seen (iesta8 * never kne& =oanne +uest &as a eeler). peeling the carrot v. S anking the monkey. penis n. The 2ight >onourable 5ember for Un$er ants. Percy ,. U@ n. %enis. !s inG )*.m just off to oint %ercy at the orcelain). /. ! small green J4E4J sa$$le tank steam locomotive create$ by the 2ev. D. !&$ry. period drama n. 5oo$y an$ erratic behaviour of &omen at times of menstruation. perseverance soup n. orig. =a an The tiny tears from the hog.s eye (qv) &hich rece$e ejaculation; clear secretion &hich lubricates the glans; that &hich comes out of the kitchen before the main course. See also $e& on the lily. personalities n. #reasts. !s in )5y, you.ve got a lovely air of ersonalities). ((narr fnarr (qv)). See also balkans, charms. phantom farter n. !n anonymous benefactor (qv). piddle See ee. pie See hairy ie, "a tain.s ie. pillicock n. !rchaic &or$ for enis. pillock n. Tame, TA sitcom4frien$ly insult. %ossible $erivation of illicock. pillow biter n. 'ne &ho bites their illo&, often in a moment of u hill horticultural $elight. !lso mattress muncher.

pills n. %o$s; knackers. pilot of the chocolate runway See navigator of the Din$4&ar$ assage. pinch a loaf See curl one off. pineapple 1chunk2 rhym. slang S unk. pink& the n. (emale genitals. See also ot ink, ot bro&n, easy ink, snookere$ behin$ the re$. pink cigar n. %enis. !s in )Tell me 5a$ame, $o you er chance smoke the ink cigar8) 9ot to be confuse$ &ith bum cigar (qv). pink .arth 0ader n. @nob. (rom the Star Dars character &ith a bell en$ (qv) helmet. (rom the same film shake han$s &ith the Dookie, >an$ Solo. pink oboe n. %enis. !s inG )* have a great assion for music. Tell me, $o you lay the ink oboe8) pink pillows n. 7a$ies love cushions; bosoms. pink steel n. ?ven har$er than &oo$ (qv). pink ticket n. *maginary va$ge (qv) visa issue$ to a husban$ &hen he s en$s the night a art from his &ife. !s in )?ureka; *.ve got my ink ticket for the conference on Tues$ay). pink velvet sausage wallet n. Aagina; muff. pintle n. 'l$e Dorl$e %enis. pipe cleaner See chimney s&ee . pipe smoker ,. US n. #otter (qv). /. ! erson &ho smokes a i e. pirate of mens pants n. S&ashbuckling term for your jolly 2ogerer; cock; enis. piss See ee. piss flaps ,. n. 7abia; beef curtains. /. interj. ?1clamation of $isa ointment. !s in )'h iss4fla s; * never &in the 7ottery;) pissing in the wind v. Dasting your time; attem ting the im ossible. piss it v. To $o something iss sim le, iss easily. piss it up the wall v. To &aste money on $rink. piss on your chips v. To ut yourself at a long4term $isa$vantage through a foolhar$y short4term action. !s in )#eckham really isse$ on his chi s &hen he kicke$ that !rgie). piss polo n. +ame &hereby $isinfectant tablets are ointlessly manoeuvre$ in a urinal trough by the artici ant.s iss streams. (or more lavatorial amusement see aisley removal. piss pot n. ,. 7avatory bo&l. /. *$iot; fool. piss rusty water v. To ass liqui$ $iarrhoea. piss up n. !n ale soiree; social gathering of boozing com anions. pitch a tent v. To get &oo$ (qv) either beneath the be$ linen, or cons icuously in your trousers. pit prop n. Strategic structural member foun$ in a assion it (qv); tent

ole; $a&n horn. placket n. !rchaic "unt. plate v. 2ub4a4tug sho (qv) arlance for erforming horatio; giving hea$. playing the bone-a-phone v. Danking; ulling yourself a han$ shan$y; laying the one string banjo. play the back nine v. *rish (qv) golf; use your &oo$ to lay into the bunker; get the $og in the bathtub. play the pink oboe v. To erform oral se1 on a man. 'ften to $enote homose1uality, as in )* $i$n.t kno& 5ichael #arrymore laye$ the ink oboe). !lso ink iccolo. play the whale v. To s e&. pleasure v. Tabloi$ese To suck or &ank off. ! se1 act (qv) in the a roving sense. plinth v. 'f males on the job (qv), to manoeuvre yourself into a comfortable osition for enetration. plonker n. ,. %enis. /. "ra ut $o&n line from #ritain.s most te$ious TA sitcom. plums n. @nackers; balls; testicles. See melons. plumbers toolbag n. (urry bicycle stan$ (qv); mott. plunker n. US =ohnny; a jum (qv) suit for a lonker (qv). Plymouth Argyles rhym. slang %iles. poe slap n. 2ubbing of the bal$ genie.s lam ; a&akening of the bacon; a &ank. poblycwm n. Delsh 7iterally -%eo le &ho like quim (qv).. pocket billiards n. ! game for one layer, t&o balls, an$ a cock. pocket fisherman n. >e &ho lays &ith his tackle through his trouser ockets. pocket frog n. ! fart; botty bur ; anal announcement. pocket pinball See ocket billiar$s. pocket rocket See orri$ge gun. poe n. Aagina. poe slap n. Sanitary to&el. pogue mahone +aelic @iss my arse, to be sure. pogie n. US Dhere !merican lonkers (qv) go $resse$ in their lunkers (qv). point Percy at the porce-lain v. Train Terrence at the terracotta. See %ercy. poke v. Dhat lonkers (qv) $o to ogies (qv). pole vault n. Aagina; stench trench; strong room &here the s am sce tre (qv) can be safely house$. polish the lighthouse v. To masturbate in the bath.

polony party n. ! social gathering of t&o or more consenting a$ults &here games inclu$e hi$e the sausage, ark the salami an$ s lit the ki er. pompom n. =amaica Aagina. ponce n. ,. %im . /. #rian Se&ell soun$ alike. pong n. The smell of a oot (qv). pony rhym. slang %ony an$ tra 4 cra . poo ,. ( oooooo;;) e1clam. ! &or$ s oken &ith fingers on nostrils to $escribe an un leasant o$our. /. n. Shit. poof See oofter. poofter See oove. poon n. (anny; crum et; toosh. )* guess this means my oon $ays are over) (=ohn (. @enne$y after his inauguration in =an. ,6O,). )@nickers off, this is oon city;) (#ill "linton after his inauguration in =an. ,660). poo packer See marmite $riller. poop catchers n. @nickers; cack catchers. poop chute n. #umhole; arse. poo pipe pirate n. =olly rogerer; irate of men.s ants (qv). poot v. To soun$ one.s botty bugle, often after eating musical vegetables (qv). pooter n. The bum bello&s &ith &hich you oot (qv); the oot flute. poot flute n. Trouser trum et; singing ring; botty bugle; bumhole. poove See uff. popa"ogalou n. #lo& job. (rom the name of the rub4a4tug sho (qv) lan$lor$ in the film %ersonal Services &ho acce te$ ayment in kin$. pop your cherry v. 7ose your virginity; break your $uck. poppycock n. 9onsense. orig. (rom 3utch a ekak meaning -soft shit.. pop shot n. Scene in a ornogra hic movie in &hich a male actor is require$ to s lash his o ulation aste (qv) on camera, after being suitably re are$ by the fluffer (qv). See also margol$. population paste n. =oy gloy; semen; s unk; ! hro$ite.s evostick. pork v. To shag. !s in )* coul$n.t ork her because she ha$ the ainters in). pork prescription n. ,. "ock, to be s&allo&e$ t&ice a $ay before meals. /. 3octor.s authorisation for a meat injection (qv). pork sword n. %enis; bacon bazooka; lamb cannon etc. porridge gun n. Tool for $istributing o ulation aste (qv) quickly an$ efficiently. portion n. ! large but non4s ecific quantity of se1. !s inG )*.$ give her a ortion, an$ no mistake). See also one, length. posh wank n. ! mess free masturbatory manoeuvre un$ertaken &hilst &earing an ?nglish overcoat (qv).

pot brown v. #ury the bone on (qv) in kak canyon (qv). pot pink v. 5oor the skin boat (qv) in co$ cove (qv). See also snookere$ behin$ the re$, $ifficult bro&n etc. potty-mouth n. US Someone &ho re eats &or$s from this book in conversation. pouch n. !n ageing, saggy mott (qv) that hangs like a s orran. pound the pork v. 'f inksmiths, to ummel a hot ork s&or$ (qv) into sha e. !lso oun$ the u$$ing. po! n. Aenereal $isease, s ecifically sy hilis. pranny n. (ool; arsehole. ! form of insult o ular amongst The Troggs $uring the ,6OJs. !lso rannet. pratt n. %ranny; fuck&it; arsehole. pre-cum n. Substance often referre$ to in the letters ages of jazz magazines but rarely mentione$ else&here. See erseverance sou ; $e& on the lily. premature pinch n. The sni ing off of an unsmoke$ bum cigar (qv) as &hen $isturbe$ in the act, by an im ortant tele hone call for e1am le. prick ,. n. ! enis. /. n. ! t&at; fuck&it; fool. 0. n. ! life threatening finger injury often suffere$ by fairy tale rincesses. prick tease See cock tease. privates n. *noffensive uni4se1 term for genitalia invente$ by the Domen.s *nstitute in ,6JE. !t the o osite en$ of the ru$eness scale to fuckstick, bollocks an$ cunt. psychedelic yodelling n. Aocal rojection of your biscuits (qv) out your mouth. pud n. %enis. That &hich &as al&ays ulle$ by *vor #iggun, of -Danking Song. o fame (aka 3oc "o1 of That.s 7ife ru$e vegetable fame). pudendum n. 7atin &or$ for genitals, meaning literally -meat ie an$ t&o otatoes.. pud-whapper n. US Danker; obno1ious erson. puff ,. v. To e1hale cigarette smoke. /. .n. 5agic $ragon that live$ by the sea. pugwash n. !us. "leaning of the teeth &ith ta ioca tooth aste (qv) puke v. To thro& u . pull ,. v. To ta ; ick u members of the o osite se1. !s in )* &ent out on the ull last night). /. v. To &ank. !s in )9o&t ulle$, so * &ent home, &atche$ the free (antasy "hannel revie& an$ ha$ a ull.) pull a pint on the piss pump v. To crank out the han$ shan$y (qv). pull a train v. To take turns at stirring the orri$ge (qv); jelly roll; gang bang. pulling power n. %olite term for fanny magnetism.

pull off ,. v. To $rag a $runken frien$ a&ay from a fight, usually &hilst shouting )*t.s not &orth it) or )7eave it, he.s ha$ enough). /. v. To masturbate. !s in )(ucking hell; She &ent skiing (qv) an$ ulle$ us both off at once). pull the turkeys neck See throttle the turkey. pull your pud v. Dank. See u$. puma acronym %ants u my arse. See hungry arse. pump v. To fart; oot; ass &in$; shoot bunnies; $ro a rose etal. pump action mottgun n. !$vance$ ra i$ fire $evelo ment of the mutton musket (qv). puppies n. affectionate Tits; boobs; breasts. puppies noses n. 9i les. purple headed yoghurt warrior See ur le hea$e$ &omb broom. purple headed womb broom See ur le hea$e$ yoghurt &arrior. purple helmet ,. n. %ink 3arth Aa$er.s hea$gear; bobbies helmet; +erman helmet; 2oman helmet; bell en$. /. !ny member of the 2over !erobatic $is lay team. purple pearler n. ?1ten$ible icing tool for $ecorating ink blancmanges. push gas v. To oot (qv). pussy n. 'f &oeful #ritish TA sitcoms set in quiet, overstaffe$ $e artment stores, a much stroke$ et cat frequently referre$ to by 5rs Slocombe. pussy pelmet n. Short mini skirt. putting from the rough v. +olfing equivalent of bo&ling from the %avilion en$ (qv). put" n. Hi$$ish %rick. pygmies cocks sim. ?rect ni les. !s in )She ha$ ni les like ygmy.s cocks). pyroflatulate v. To light one.s farts. See also afterburner; blue streak.

:
$uack n. Short, shar botty bur often follo&e$ by an a ologetic )'o s;) See also ste on a $uck. $uail n. +ame young bir$ (qv). $uandong n. !us. ,. 3ifficult lay; har$ &oman; she &ho &ears armour late$ knickers. /. %rostitute. $uaynte n. %lacket (qv). $uaker& to bury a n. Stool. !s inG )Dhere is your lovely &ife8) )!h, she just ni e$ u stairs to bury a quaker). $ua" n. Ugly &anker; bell4en$ ringer. (abbr. Buasimo$o). $uean n. 5ale homose1ual. 'riginal s elling of queen, as in inch of snuff.

$ueef n. US Aaginal fart; front botty bur . !lso k&eef. $ueen See queer. $ueer See quean. $uickie n. >urrie$ one (qv). $uim n. 2efine$ &or$ for the ma atasi (qv) such as a gentleman might use at a hay clarse cocktail arty. (rom the Delsh &or$ "&m meaning -valley beneath the ,0 am fuse &ire.. $uimby n. 5i$$le erson in a threesome. See also lucky %ierre. $uimle v. To eat hairy ie (qv). * &as quimling her, he quimle$ me, etc. $uince n. ,. !us. 5incing quean. /. Something o&ls eat &ith a runcible s oon. $uoit n. 2ing; hoo ; rusty sheriff.s ba$ge; balloon knot; tea to&el hol$er. $uumf v. To sit in &aiting outsi$e a ublic library in #lyth, for e1am le, an$ sniff la$ies bicycle seats as soon as ossible after their o&ner has $ismounte$ an$ gone insi$e. !lso to snu$ge. yroflatulate v. To light one.s farts. See also afterburner; blue streak.

5
rack n. (emale mammarial $is lay; collectively the tits; funbags. e.g. )She.s got a lovely rack on her. Aery &ell resente$. !n$ ni les like a fighter ilot.s thumbs). radio rental rhym. slang 5ental; hatstan$. rag week n. ,. Seven $ays $uring &hich stu$ents get isse$ an$ behave like cunts in the name of charity. /. Time of the month &hen the flags are out (qv). !lso blob &eek. See also on the blob. rainbow yawn n. %uke. See also technicolour ya&n, avement izza. raisin bag n. 9ut sack (qv); =ohn Dayne.s hairy sa$$le4bags. 5%A%3% 2ough as fuck; ugly; unattractive. rake the cage out v. To buil$ a log cabin; give birth to a 2ichar$ (qv). 5alph v. echoism To vomit. See also call >uey. ram #ob n. "onventional heterose1ual se1, as o ose$ to blo& job (qv) or han$ job (qv). !lso nob job. ram shackled a$j. To be engage$ in the act of botting (qv). randy n. "o&boy version of horny (qv). raspberry rhym. slang (art. (rom ras berry tart. !s in )3i$ you just $ro a ras berry8) )9o. >e &ho smelt it, $ealt it). )!h; #ut he &ho $enie$ it, su lie$ it), etc. rascal wrapper n. (rench letter; blob; rubber =ohnny. rat arsed ; faced a$j. Shit face$. rats cocks4 e1clam. ShitG blast; $rat; confoun$ it. To e1 ress e1treme $isa ointment. !s in )2at.s cocks; * left my bus ass at home).

ra"" v. To hoy u ; uke. 5a""le .n. The $efinitive jazz magazine, in its o&n &or$s - The magazine that makes your cock go har$.. reach around n. *n botting, ouring your artner a han$ shan$y (qv) &hilst ram shackle$. rear admiral n. ! sailor &ho refers to navigate the Din$&ar$ assage (qv). rear gunner n. *n aviation terms, a gunner &ho shoots one of his o&n si$e by firing his lamb cannon (qv) into their bomb bay (qv). rectal retort n. (art. red ring n. *nflammation of the chocolate starfish as a result of being skittere$ (qv). See also =a anese flag. red wings n. 3ubious honour besto&e$ u on someone &ho eats ha$$ock astie (qv) $uring rag &eek (qv). remould n. 2ubber; single finger 5arigol$ glove; blob. retch v. To vomit, but &ith more noise an$ less uke. reverse thrust n. The act of getting off at ?$ge >ill (qv). The interru te$us of your coitus. rhythm maga"ine n. =azz mag; scu$ book; orn am hlet; one han$e$ rea$ing material. rhythm stick n. Si1th gear stick; joy stick; co er stick; giggle stick; love truncheon. rib cushions n. #reasts. 5ichard rhym. slang. Tur$. (rom 2ichar$ the Thir$. e.g. )*.ve just given birth to a ten oun$ 2ichar$). ride v. That &hich you $o on a bike (qv). ride the baloney pony v. US To &ank. ride the great white knuckler v. To lay rhythm on your bone4a4 hone (qv). ride the porcelain bus v. To have $iarrhoea. 9ot to be confuse$ &ith $rive the orcelain bus (qv). ride the waves v. Shag an am ly ro ortione$ la$y. See also mo e$. rigid digit n. ?rect enis; bone; bonk on. rim n. "ircumference of the anus; ring. ring n. ,. >ole; jacksie; anus; bro&n eye; chocolate starfish. /. The vagina. ring bandit See >ershey high&ayman. ringburner n. ! hot curry &hich results in ring sting (qv) the ne1t $ay, an$ a =a anese flag (qv). ring master n. ,. 5aster of ceremonies at a circus. /. ! botter (qv). ring pirate See irate of men.s ants. ring sting n. *nflammation of the ring (qv) as a result of issing rusty

&ater (qv), e.g. after visiting the 2u ali restaurant in 9e&castle an$ eating a late of the Dorl$.s >ottest "urry, -magmaloo.. ring the bell v. %o the cork; $etonate the fanny bomb (qv). rinky dink n. Stink; that un leasant o$our create$ by a fyst (qv); 2ichar$ the thir$.s #.'. rinse the lettuce v. To &ash the beef curtains, in situ as it &ere. (ollo&e$ by a shake of the lettuce (qv). rising main n. *n ubic lumbing, the ink tatty &ater su ly i e usually fe$ in through the vagina. !lso main cable. riveting stick rhym. slang 3ick. (rom the je&eller.s instrument. robbing the date locker v. Tur$ burgling. rocket polisher n. 'verenthusiastic cleaning of the meat seeking issile (qv) lea$ing to $etonation on the launch a$. rocket socket n. Aagina. 5ockfords rhym. slang %iles; arse gra es; 9obbies; ?mmas; "halfonts. (rom the TA series The 2ockfor$ (iles. rocks n. Those &hich you -get off . &hen having it off. rod n. S am sce tre. rod walloper See je&el jiggler. rodeo se! n. To call your girlfrien$ by an e14girlfrien$.s name &hilst having se1 -$oggy style., an$ then try to hol$ on for as long as ossible. !lso bronco se1. roger v. To shag. 'ften in the ast tense. !s in )* gave her a jolly goo$ rogering). roger ram#et n. #otter. roll in the hay v. Dhat everyone &ante$ to $o &ith =ulie "hristie in (ar (rom The 5a$$ing "ro&$. !n$ 3onal$ Sutherlan$ $i$ &ith her in 3on.t 7ook #ack. 5oman helmet rumba See #ologna bo . 5onson rhym. slang !rse. -2onson lighter 4 shiter.. room clearer n. 'f flatulent emissions, a fart &hich registers one notch higher than breaking com any (qv) on the s hincter scale. See also fyst. root % rootle v. To shag. rope the pony v. To &ank. rotoplooker (ro4to4 loo4ka) US n. %enis; cho er. roundhead n. ! ink 3arth Aa$er (qv) after the surgical removal of his @ojak.s roll4neck (qv); a yi$$le$ &hanger. round up the tadpoles v. To &ank; bash the bisho . row the boat v. !ctually a $ual tug boat; multi le &anking. 9autical variation on the skiing osition (qv). rub-a-tug shop n. #rothel; bor$ello; house of ill re ute. 5assage arlour

su lying a rub $o&n an$ a tug off. rubber +ohnny n. ! blob; contrace tive. !lso rubber. rug munchers n. See fanny noshers. rump gully n. Aie&e$ from biffin bri$ge (qv), the gra$ually slo ing valley beyon$ kak canyon (qv). 5umple 3oreskin n. %enis; (agan; =ohn Thomas; junior. rumpo n. 2um y um y. rump ranger n. "hocolate co&boy. rumpy pumpy n. ! olite an$ light&eight term for se1ual shenanigans use$ by res ectable eo le. US equivalent hoochie4coochie. runs& the n. Dhat ?nglish cricketers get &hen they face fast bo&lers. russet gusset n. Ski$marks (qv) or $angleberrian $e osits on the shre$$ies (qv). !lso marmite stri e. rusty sheriffs badge n. 2i$e along biffin bri$ge (qv) from =ohn Dayne.s hairy sa$$lebags (qv) an$ there it lies, right in the mi$$le of kak canyon (qv). =ust before you reach rum gully (qv). rusty water See iss rusty &ater.

(
sack artist n. Domaniser; gigolo; fanny rat. saddle bags n. ,. 7abia; iss fla s. /. Scrotum. !lso =ohn Dayne.s hairy sa$$le4bags. safe See (rench safe. salami slapper n. >e &ho tolls u on his o&n bell en$ (qv); a &anker. See also hi$e the salami. salmon canyon n. %iscine ass lea$ing to tuna to&n (qv) that some folks roun$ these arts call +obblers +ulch. salmon 1on prawn2 rhym. slang The horn (qv). 9ot to be confuse$ &ith salmon (an$ trout) 4 snout (i.e. cigarette). salsa dip n. ! s lash about in the crimson &aves. See surfing the crimson &ave. salt n. ,6OJs 5o$ arlance for bir$ (qv). ( and n. 2ub4a4tug sho (qv) arlance for sa$o4masochism. See also 5r Dhi y. sand hole n. 'f cro&$e$ beaches, that hole cause$ by sunbathing on your stomach in or$er to conceal a bone on (qv). sauce ,. n. #ooze, usually in large quantity. !s in )That @eith "heg&in $i$n.t half hit the sauce). /. v. To se$uce. sausage and donut situation n. >eterose1ual intercourse. !s in )5y luck &as in. #y mi$night &e ha$ a sausage an$ $onut situation). sausage grappler See salami sla er.

sausage #ockey n. %assive male homose1ual; anyone &ho sits on a sausage an$ bounces u an$ $o&n. !lso sausage ri$er. sausage kennel n. ! male homose1ual.s bottom. sausage pi""a n. "losest thing to a sausage san$&ich (qv) that 5iss 7incolnshire (qv) is able to rovi$e. sausage sandwich n. ! juicy salami frotte$ bet&een t&o ink ba s (qv), the en$ result of &hich is a earl necklace (qv). !lso 3utch. sausage supper n. (emale equivalent of a fish su er (qv). sausage wallet n. (anny. (B. a$j. 'f farts an$ farting, Silent #ut 3ea$ly. ! subtle release of ungent botty gas. (B0 a$j. Silent #ut Aiolent. 5inging (qv) fizzle (qv) from the fart fissure. schlong % schlonger (shh4long4aa) Hi$$ish n. 7arge enis. schlong shed n. "on$om; sto cock; stiffy stocking. schmeckie n. ' osite of a schlong (qv). scooter n. !rse. (rom 3utch schoeter meaning -shitter.. (cottish bedwarmer n. ! fart; anal announcement. scratcher n. #e$; fart sack. scrote n. @nacker; bollock brain. ! versatile testicular term of abuse. screamer n. 2aving oofter. screw v. To have se1 iggy style, rotating clock&ise $ue to a corkscre& sha e$ cock. scrumping v. ,. US >aving se1. /. U@ Stealing a les. scrubber n. Sla er; vulgar &oman; $ollymo . scumbag n. The ultimate term of abuse kno&n to tabloi$ journalists. scumwad n. !merican variation on scumbag. scrotum pole n. 'l$ 2e$ *n$ian erection at the foot of &hich lie =ohn Dayne.s hairy sa$$lebags (qv), an$ aroun$ &hich 5a$am %alm an$ her five sisters (qv) $o ritual $ances to reci itate s unk4fall. scrunchies n. ,. 'f sla ettes (qv), the colourful elasticate$ hairban$s ca ture$ by rival teenage sla ers in battle. /. ?1cess batter in a chi sho . scuttle v. To sink the ink, or bro&n, from behin$. The bro&n in articular. See also ot the bro&n. scutter n. Slut; shag bag. sea monster n. S&am $onkey; hi ocroca$oga ig. see a friend to the coast See $ro the ki$s off at the ool. seed n. That &hich is scattere$ in salmon canyon (qv). seeing to n. Se1ual servicing, a )jolly goo$) one of &hich is often sai$ to have been given to a &oman by a man. see you ne!t Tuesday acronym %arting nicety allu$ing to the initials

-"U.9.T. semen n. ! hro$ite.s !ral4$ite; joy +loy; gunk; s unk; goo. semi n. ,. 7azy lob on; half erect enis. )!s in )The best * coul$ manage &as a semi). /. ! house joine$ to one other house. send a sausage to the seaside See sink a fe& U boats. separate-us apparatus n. "on$om; stiffy stocking. !s in )3i$ you remember to bring the se arate4us a aratus8) )2at.s cocks; * $i$n.t. %erha s &e shoul$ just lay the bag i es (qv) tonight). serpent socket n. That hole &ith &hich the one eye$ trouser snake (qv) connects. se! ,. n. *t (qv). /. v. To um someone full of semen. !s in )#abe, *.m gonna se1 you u ). se! act n. Aersatile, vague tabloi$ term use$ to $escribe an$ $enigrate s ecifically non4s ecific acts of shenanigans. Usually refi1e$ )vile) or )le&$). (habba 15anks2 See =. !rthur. shaft ,. v. To shag; scre&. /. n. %enis. 0. .n. The black rivate $ick that.s a se1 machine to all the chicks. shag ,. v. To co ulate; to fuck. /. n. Se1ual encounter; a scre&. 0. US (ifties $ance craze. E. Ty e of sea bir$. F. Tobacco. O. Something to $o &ith arse gra es or car ets * think. shagability n. 5easureament of ho& shagable a erson is. shagable a$j. >aving a high $egree of shagability. shag bag n. 7oose &oman; bike. shag factory n. =oint &hich is heaving &ith blit; knickerville; blart city. shagged out a$j. ?1hauste$; jiggere$; buggere$; zonke$; fucke$. shagging a bike sim. To $escribe se1 &ith a thin &oman. )Some of these su ermo$els, they $on.t look healthy. * $on.t fancy that. *t &oul$ be like shagging a bike). ' osite of shagging a &aterbe$. shag monster n. She &ho has a voracious a etite for se1. 9ot necessarily ugly. shagnasty n. !n ugly an$ se1ually romiscuous female. shag slab n. The altar of love; be$; assion it; cock block; fart sack; scratcher. shag tags n. 7ove bites; hickies; suckers; bruises from a hysical bout of tonsil hockey. shaggin wagon !lso shag &agon. See assion &agon. shake hands with the *ookie v. !nother in the -Danking &ith Star Dars. series. See also >an$ Solo, $uel &ith the ink 3arth Aa$er. shake hands with the wifes best friend See shake the bisho .s han$. shake the bishops hand v. >ave a iss, as o ose$ to bashing the bisho

(qv). shake the lettuce v. female To ee. S ecifically, to give the beef curtains (qv) a quick tumble $ry after&ar$s. shake the snake v. 5ale equivalent of shaking the lettuce (qv) the object being to $islo$ge any forget4me4nots (qv) before returning the schlong (qv) to the shre$$ies (qv). shaking hands with the unemployed v. Danking. shampoo the rug v. To lose one.s o ulation aste (qv) on a ma atasi (qv). %erha s &hen getting off at ?$ge >ill (qv). shark % sharking v. +o on the ull (qv), using aggressive, sly or cunning tactics. sharks fin n. The rofile of a neighbour.s beetle bonnet (qv) vie&e$ through a tight bikini bottom &hilst sunbathing on the beach. See also san$ hole. shat on from a height v. To have been ba$ly e1 loite$; humiliate$; let $o&n. shave a horse v. To have a iss; take a leak. shaven haven n. #al$ monkey.s forehea$ (qv). shed n. 7arge, romiscuous &oman. Some&here to stick your tools. shedded a$j. Trousere$ (qv); cattle$ (qv). (herman 1tank2 rhym. slang. Dank. shift v. To shag; scre&. shirtful n. ! &ell stocke$ rack (qv). !s in )5y, &hat a shirtful). shirt lifter n. U hill gar$ener; bro&n hatter. shirt potatoes n. Tits; melons; to bollocks. shit % shite ,. v. To shit; $efecate; sink the #ismarck (qv), buil$ a log cabin (qv), crim one off (qv), light a bum cigar (qv) etc. /. n. "ra ; e1crement; stools; faecal matter. 0. +it; so$; get; a shitty erson, usually )little). E. "ra ; useless. !s in )Shit &eather for this time of year eh vicar8) shit a brick ,. interj. ?1clamation of sur rise. /. v. To be scare$; to a er your trollies. shit eating grin n. ?1aggerate$, smug, self4satisife$ smile ulle$ $eliberately to taunt others; as if to say )?at shit). shiter (shy4tuh) n. !rse; kak cannon. That &hich shites. shite house (shyt4ho&ss) n. 'utsi$e lavatory; $unny. shit faced n. !rsehole$; into1icate$; ara4fuckin4lytic. shit locker n. !rse; bomb bay. !lso $ate locker. shit on your own doorstep eu h. (oul the nest. e.g. Shag your mother4in4 la& &hile you are totally isse$. See also iss on your chi s. shits& the n. 'f smallroom $ancing, those u tem o trots (qv) &hich

inclu$e the Tijuana cha4cha (qv), the sour a le quickste (qv) an$ the !ztec t&o4ste . shit stabber n. %ork s&or$sman. shitter (shit4aa) ,. n. !nus; kak i e; council gritter. /. Sit $o&n lavatory; the an. shitty stick n. ! stick, covere$ in shit, use$ by men &ith o&erful cars to stave off a$vancing &omen. shit your pants v. To $ro a brick; cake your kecks; a er your trollies. shooting bunnies v. %olite eu hemism for farting; ass &in$; blo& off. !lso kill the ?aster bunny. shoot in your boot eu h. To be e1cite$. 'f =imi >en$ri1, 7ittle 2ichar$ sai$G )=imi ma$e my big toe shoot right u in my boot). shoot your load ; bolt ; wad v. To ejaculate; lose your mess; $ischarge the mutton musket (qv). shopping n. The un$er ant aftermath of follo& through (qv). !s in )3i$ * $etect a t&in tone (qv)8) )!frai$ so. *.$ better go an$ check my trollies for sho ing). shoulder boulders n. #ig breasts; gazungas (qv). shunt v. To shag. !s in )+o on, ta her &heels, see if she.s &orth a shunt). shreddies n. Un$ercrackers; kecks; trollies. shrimp v. To suck someone.s toes for se1ual gratification, &hether or not they have a vacuous, buck teethe$ smile, greasy hair, an$ a "helsea football stri on. shtup v. Hi$$ish To have se1; bonk; bang. side winders n. S aniel.s ears (qv) &hich a ear to be gravitating to&ar$s the arm its. (igourney *eaver rhym. slang #eaver. singer n. Se1ual athlete; he or she &ho goes at it (qv) like a se&ing machine. sing sweet violets v. !iry alternative to buil$ing a log cabin (qv); to take a $um . sink a few < boats v. To ass a stool, as if $ro ing $e th charges. sink the Bismarck v. To ass one fucking enormous stool; $e osit a U blocker. sink the sausage See hi$e the sausage. siphon the python v. %oint %ercy (qv) at the orcelain; have a iss. (ir Anthony rhym. slang ! ro er "harlie (qv). (rom -Sir !nthony #lunt. 4 cunt. sitting on an elephant a$j. To be highly burbulent; to have bre&e$ a massive one u . e.g. )?vacuate the room, &omen an$ chil$ren first. 5r #ennett is sitting on an ele hant). (%ri$e !n$ %reju$ice, =ane !usten).

si!teen valve n. Stunner; corking bir$. si!th gear n. Danking, es ecially in a arke$ car. See also stick shift. si!ty-nine See soi1ante neuf. si!-pack grip See ten in. skeet v. To come off at the #illy 5ill roun$about (qv); shoot your loa$ (qv). skee"e v. US To shag; schtu . skid marks n. Severe russet gusset (qv); ebble $ashing (qv) of the un$ercrackers; the turtle.s brill cream. skiing position n. Danking t&o men off at the same time &hile &earing only a helmet, goggles an$ sno& skis. skin boat n. %enis. !s in )* think *.ll sail the ol$ skin boat to tuna to&n) (#urgess 5ere$ith). skin flick n. (uck feature; blue movie; mamba matinee. skin flute See fleshy flugel4horn, be$ flute, ink oboe. skirt n. collective I singular (anny; blart; toosh; talent. !s in )*.m on a ink ticket (qv) the neet. 7et.s get $o&n the bar an$ ick u a bit of skirt). skit % skitter v. To shit $iarrhoea. skitting. skitte$. !s in )5e $og.s ate the fucking back legs off the &ife.s $uck. *t.s skittin. al. a&aa the lace). skitters& the n. 3iarrhoea; the shits; squirts. skittered a$j. To have the skits; to be skittering. skittuin (skit4e&4&in) n. The ro$uct of the skitters, es ecially in $ogs; canine aint stri er; u$$les of bro&n aci$ic gunge on the car et. skull buggery n. %ug&ashing; salami sucking. !lso skull fucking. slag n. ,. Doman of little virtue; sla er. /. Daste material from a mine, slag hea . 0. (s4laaaaaag) Term of abuse a lie$ liberally to male criminals in The S&eeney. slam hound n. US Sla er; slutt. slam in the lamb v. #ayonet manoeuvre involving the mutton musket (qv). slam spunk v. To have se1. !s in )* &as slam s unkin. till si1 o.clock this morning. ?n$e$ u having orri$ge on me bacon san$&ich for breakfast). slap and tickle n. ! bit (qv); a ortion (qv); a bit of it (qv); the other (qv); rum y4 um y. slaphead See chrome $ome. slaphood n. !$olescent years of a sla er (qv). slapper n. Slag; $irty &oman. She &ho has been aroun$ a bit. (rom the Hi$$ish schle er meaning literally -* $on.t fancy yours much.. slappette n. #etracksuite$, hickie$, bubblegum che&ing, scrunchie (qv) &earing fle$gling sla er (qv). slap the monkey See bash the bisho . !lso s ank the monkey.

slash n. ! iss; &ee &ee. slash and burn n. ,. Thir$ &orl$ $eforestation technique. /. ! ainful sym tom of venereal $isease. slash palace n. %ublic lavatory. slats n. ,. 2ibs. !s is )*.m gonna rattle her slats &ith me &omb broom). /. !us. #eef curtains. !s in )*.m gonna art her slats &ith &e &omb broom). sleep in a tent v. To have a large enis. !s in )(ancy coming back to my lace. Hou.ll not be $isa ointe$. * slee in a tent). See tent ole. sleeping beast n. (lacci$ cock; marshmallo&e$ main i e (qv). slime (ss4loym) v. !us To ejaculate; chuck ones muck. !s inG )>ev yer slime$ yet #ruce8) )Dill yer shat a Sheila, ya uttin. me orf). slip a length v. To shag, from the male vie& oint. !s in )*.$ sli her a length any $ay of the &eek). slip her a crippler v. ! fe& notches u from sli her a length (qv); shag someone so har$ they can.t &alk. slit n. #lit; fanny; vertical bacon san$&ich. sloppy seconds n. 'f ulling trains an$ gang bangs, to be in the coach imme$iately behin$ the engine; to take secon$ ick in a bo1 of assorte$ creams (qv). See also stirring the orri$ge, buttere$ bun. slotn. Aulva; button hole. slut n. Sla er; slag; bike. smeg n. ,. =izz; joy gloy; jism. /. !musingly name$ S&e$ish manufacturer of &hite goo$s. smegma See smeg. smegma dome See bell en$. smoke the bald man v. To light u a salami cigarette. smoke the white owl See smoke the bal$ man. smuggling a brownie v. To have the turtle.s hea$ (qv). !s in )>e seeme$ quite an1ious to get a&ay. * sus ect he &as smuggling a bro&nie). smut n. (ilth; ornogra hy jazzmags; skin4flicks etc. snake v. To scrum ; schtu ; skeeze. To let loose the one4eye$ trouser snake (qv) on a mink, beaver, ussy etc. snake charmer n. ! girl &ho has an u lifting effect on your ant ython. !s in )%hoar; She.s a bit of a snake charmer. *.m itching a trouser tent right here an$ no&). snatch n. Buim; vagina. snatch mouse n. Tam on. !lso cotton mouse. snog v. To s&a s it; tongue &restle; lay tonsil hockey. snogging water n. !fter shave. See also tart.s &in$o& bo1. snookered behind the red v. Unable to sink the ink $ue to the time of month. The only ot on is a $ifficult bro&n (qv).

snorker n. !ustralian for sausage, both eating an$ hi$ing varieties. snowball v. To blo& salami cigarette smoke back into the tobacconists mouth... sort of thing. snowdropper n. Un$er&ear fetishist &ho steals to sniff, usually from &ashing lines. See also knicker ban$it, snufty. snudge v. To sniff a la$ies bicycle seat after she leaves it chaine$ to ark railings. !lso kno&n as quumfing. See also snufty. snufty n. 'ne &ho $erives leasure from sniffing, bicycle seats, $ri trays (qv), socks etc. snurgle See snu$ge. snurglar n. Buumfer; snu$ger; bicycle snufty. soap-on-a-roper n. >eterose1ual male &ho refers not to ben$ $o&n in communal sho&ers. soapy tit wank n. Sausage san$&ich (qv) serve$ in the bath or sho&er. sod n. ! loose iece of turf in an u hill gar$en. soi!ante-neuf n. (rench for si1ty4nine. sour apple $uickstep n. !nother $iarrhoea $ance. !s inG )Hour &ife is taking rather a long time in the o&$er room). )Hes, *.m afrai$ she.s $ancing the sour a le quickste tonight). See also Tijuana cha4cha. sow n. 'ne notch u from co& on the female insult scale. spadger n. !us. Aagina. (pam alley n. ! haven for S am javelin (qv) thro&ing. (pam castanets n. 7abia. !s in )5y hobbies inclu$ing laying the S am castanets). (pam fritters n. 7abia; tasty alternative to a vertical bacon san$&ich (qv), es ecially serve$ in batter. (pam #avelin n. %enis. (pam sceptre n. 7argest of the family je&els (qv). spaniels ears n. Sagging, flat thru enny bits. !lso snoo ies. spanish archer n. The ush; the -?l #o&.. spanking n. ! form of cor oral classroom unishment still ractise$ in rub4a4tug sho s (qv). See also 5r Dhi y. spank the monkey See s ank the lank. spank the plank v. #ash the bisho ; bur the &orm. spanky hanky n. =it gel rag; &ank sock. !nything use$ for clearing u ! hro$ite.s aral$ite after&ar$s. spanner n. To totty (qv); she &ho tightens your nuts. spare n. *n a meat market (qv), that totty (qv) &hich is not yet sol$. spasm chasm See s am alley. spear the bearded clam v. ! trick involving a s am javelin (qv) an$ sai$ hairy bivalve.

spend tuppence in ha-pennies and farthings v. To ass loose stools; have $iarrhoea. sperm n. S unk; gism. sperm worm n. %enis. spew ,. v. To vomit; ark a tiger; be sick. /. n. The sick itself. !s in )5um. This sou tastes like s e&). spiders legs n. 'f muffs (qv), rogue ubic hairs &hich rotru$e beyon$ the knicker line; a ant moustache. spit v. Dhat &omen $o if they &on.t s&allo& (qv). spit roast n. Someone simultaneously ske&ere$ at both en$s by ork s&or$s (qv); a sausage jockey (qv) &ho lays a ink oboe (qv) &hilst still in the sa$$le. See also lucky %ierre. splashback n. Unfortunate ti$al effect of a $e th charge (qv) or belly flo er (qv) &ithin the an resulting in s lashing of the arse. splash me boots v. To have a iss; take a leak. 3efinitely not to be confuse$ &ith fuck me shoes (qv). spla water n. Semen; gunk. splay v. US To schtu ; snake; skeeze. S ecifically, to $ra& back the beef curtains (qv) an$ enter. splice v. #ritish version of s lay (qv). split a kipper v. To have se1. splosh n. "ockney ,. Se1; crum et; fanny. !s in )+or bloimey, squire, * fink *.ll go $ahn the ol$ rub4a4$ub an$ get moiself a bit o.s losh). /. 5oney. spod See s ooge. spoilers n. #uttocks. sponge n. 'f homose1ual relationshi s, the submissive artner; the noshee as o ose$ to the nosher. Usually the thin one. See also stone. spooge n. US Semen. spooge scrooge n. #lob; con$om; rubber oliceman. sports bag n. ! functional cottaging accessory in &hich one artner stan$s to conceal his feet an$ avoi$ $etection by lavatory atten$ants looking un$er the $oor. See also #osch, cottage. sprogdrop n. %regnancy. !s inG )Hour &ife.s ut on a bit of &eight. *s she suffering from s rog$ro 8) spunk n. Semen. spunkled a$j. S rinkle$ &ith s unk. spunkling a$j. S arkling or glistening as a result of being s unkle$ spunk rat n. +oo$ looking bloke, as $escribe$ by females. 9ot to be confuse$ &ith fanny rat (qv). spuds deep n. U to the buffers (qv). spunk n. ,. Semen; see$. /. S irit; luck. 0. !us. +oo$ looking man; $ish;

hunk. E. Tin$er ma$e from fungus. spunk dustbin !lso s unk bucket.See bucket fanny, bo1 of assorte$ creams. (purt 5eynolds n. %et name for the tearful bal$ man sitting on the hairy beanbags (qv). See also make a bal$ man cry. spurt your curd v. S rea$ your s unk; infect others &ith your luck an$ s irit. s$ueak the bree"e v. US To fart; talk +erman; ass &in$. s$uee"e the cheese v. 3airy equivalent of sausage stretching.; to &ank. s$uirts n. *n arsemology, a series of eru tions resulting in a yroclastic flo& from the farting fissure. ! con$ition also kno&n as the skitters. s$uits n. 3angerous &et farts, constantly bor$ering on the follo& through (qv). stacked a$j. 'verstocke$ rack (qv) in the snork (qv) $e artment. !s is )* fell in love &ith my &ife at first sight. She is articularly &ell stacke$). stalk n. ?rection; stiffy. !s in )%ar$on me if * look like a tri o$. * can.t seem to get ri$ of this stalk). stalk fever n. "on$ition affecting men on big cock $ay (qv). stand % stand on See stalk. steak drapes n. +ammon goal osts; beef curtains. stealth bomber n. Subtle leg lifter (qv); un$etecte$ benefactor (qv); hantom farter (qv). stench trench n. $isaffectionate (anny. steg n. Doman resembling a ferocious, s iny, squat, re4historic $inosaur. abbr. Stegosaurus. "om are lickaloto us. step on a duck v. To create a quack; fart. orig. (rom a remark ma$e by @ing ?$&ar$ A* u on hearing a hunting com anion soun$ his trouser trum et (qv). )Sir, * may be mistaken, but * $o believe you have ste e$ on a $uck). step on a frog !lso trea$ on a frog. See ste on a $uck. stick shifter n. Danker. sticky belly flap cock n. %ost &ank con$ition suffere$ by bisho bashers (qv). stiffy % stiffie n. ! bone on; erection. !lso 5r Stiffy. stiffy stocking n. 2ascal &ra er; cheese i e cling4film; S urt 2eynol$s. sick4bag. (tilton muffle n. %ungent an$ un&ashe$ fish mitten (qv). stink ,. n. The $istinctive o$our of &ell mature$ knob cheese, eggy air biscuits etc. /. v. To emit such a smell; to ming. 0. n. ! fuss. E. n. !us. ! scra ; fight. stinky finger a$j. >aving ate the ca tain.s ie (qv) &ithout a knife an$

fork. !lso stinky inky. stirring the porridge v. To have slo y secon$s (qv); to $i into a bill oster.s bucket (qv). stoat n. *n the &orl$ of ant nature, the natural ray of the one4eye$ trouser snake (qv). stone n. 'f gay men an$ &omen, the o osite to a s onge (qv); the $ominant artner. !n$ usually no oil ainting either. stones n. 'l$e Dorl$e #alls. stonker ,. n. ?rection; har$ on; stiffy. /. n. ?ntertaining television rogramme (as a lie$ by =onathon 2oss in the ,6KJs). strain your greens v. To have a iss. strangle -o#ak v. 5ale masturbation; eel the carrot; stroke the Dookie. See also @ojak.s roll4neck. strapadictomy n. 2outine o eration to stra on a $il$o. string See &oo$. stroke mag n. To shelf literature; art am hlet; gentleman.s interest magazine. strum v. ! rela1e$ tug. strumpet n. 'l$e Dorl$e %rostitute. strumping v. %re$atory behaviour by a bir$; female equivalent of sharking (qv). stuffing a marshmallow in a piggy bank v. 'f those unfortunate situations involving bre&er.s $roo (qv), attem ting to force your loose sausage meat (qv) into the slot (qv). succubus n. ! hantom night4time cock sucker once thought to be res onsible for nocturnal emissions (qv). suckers See shag tags. suck face v. US To kiss. !s in )+it a go$$amn move on an. finish your mother fuckin. o corn, you sunofabitch. * &anna suck some face). suckhole n. !us. *n ra$io stu$ios, one &ho laughs at everything "hris ?vans says. #ro&n noser; toa$y; arselick; syco hant. suck off v. To en$ it all by shooting yourself in the mouth &ith the mutton musket (qv). sugared almond n. "litoris. sunnies n. !us Tits; ba s. surfboard n. (lat cheste$ female; 5iss 7incolnshire. surfing the crimson wave v. 2i$ing the menstrual cycle. swallow v. Dhat &omen $o &hen they $on.t s it; &hat +ol$ilocks $i$ to one of the three bears. orri$ge. swallow the oysters v. S&allo& as in s&allo& (qv), oysters as in earls, earls as in earl necklace (qv).

swamp v. >.5.(. To iss; urinate. swamp donkey n. (emale bereft of hysical beauty; tug boat; boiler; sea monster; steg. swap spit See suck face. (wedish n. +reek (qv). sweet 3A acronym S&eet (anny !$ams an$Cor fuck all; absolutely nothing. swing both ways See s&itch hitter. switch hitter US n. %erson &ho bats &ith both han$s; bise1ual; !"C3". swive v. ,Lth". (uck. !s in )! horse, a horse. 5y king$om for a s&iving horse). sword swallower n. S&or$ as in the ork variety. siphon the python v. To take a "hinese signing lesson (qv); see a man about a $og. syrup n. *rish jig.

T
tackle See &e$$ing tackle. tackleshack n. Trollies; un$er ants; kecks. taco tickler n. +usset ty ist. tadger n. %enis. !lso to$ger. tadpole net n. #lob; rubber =ohnny; cheese i e clingfilm. tadpole yoghurt n. +entleman.s relish; $ressing for a sausage san$&ich (qv). tagnuts n. Toffee strings; &innets; clinkers; $angleberries; bea$ curtains. tail ,. n. 'l$e Dorl$e %enis. /. n. (luff; totty; skirt; talent (of both se1es). 0. #um. tail ender n. Small $ollo of $o that you must &ait for after the main stool has been e1 elle$; the final roof $etail to be a lie$ &hen buil$ing a log cabin (qv). tail gunner See rear gunner. tailpipe n. US !ss hole. *n #ritain e1haust i e (qv). tail shot n. The release of tail &in$ (qv). tail wind n. #otty gas; air biscuits. taint n. 9iffin.s bri$ge (qv). #ecause it tain.t arse an$ it tain.t fanny). take an air dump v. To fart; blo& off. take Captain Picard to warp speed v. TA bal$y Ccock eu h. 5asturbate; to strangle @ojak. talent n. collective "rum et; bush; attractive females. talk )erman v. To fart; blo& off; uff on an imaginary bum cigar (qv). talk on the great white telephone v. To be sick in the lavatory. See

$rive the orcelain bus (qv). tallywhacker ,Kth". n. %enis; ol$ man. tampon n. ! small, highly so histicate$ im lant &hich enables &omen to lay tennis. tam rag Aariation of jam rag. tank v. To shag; roger. tanked up ,. a$j. !rse4hole$ (qv). /. 5ilitary #eing sufficiently equi e$ &ith tanks. tapioca toothpaste n. 3ental gel for a trouser leg trombonist (qv). tap See oot on the ta . tap off v. To successfully ta u (qv). tap up v. To chat u ; try to instigate a se1ual liaison. tardis fanny n. 3ece tively s acious snatch; cathe$ral; bargain bucket. tart n. Sla er; $olly bir$. Sometimes use$ affectionately. e.g. Dhen $escribing #oy +eorge. tarts window bo!& a n. Dhat you smell like &hen you.ve got too much after shave on. Tar"an chord That narro& chor$ &hich attaches @ojak.s roll4neck (qv) to the bobby.s helmet (qv). tash See >itler tash. tatties n. Testicles; s u$s. tatty water (ta4tee4&a4ta) n. S u$ juice; semen. 7iterally - otato &ater.. TB( To1ic #ott Syn$rome. To suffer from severe no1ious emissions or bre&er.s farts (qv). See also burn ba$ o&$er. TC n. Tur$ cutting muscle; crim er; anal s hincter. tea pot n. +ay male from the 7arry +rayson school of osturing. tear off a piece v. US To have se1. !lso tear one off. tea towel holder n. !nus; ring iece; freckle. (rom the ,6FJs lastic -finger oke. style kitchen accessory. technicolour yawn See avement izza. teddys leg n. State of stool e1 ulsion some&here beyon$ the turtle.s hea$ (qv), but rior to touching sock (qv). 5ore like che&ing a brick (qv); mi$&ay through smoking a bum cigar. tee off v. To &ank an$Cor fart. 9ot necessarily at the same time. tenpin v. To lace $igits simultaneously in the tea to&el hol$er (qv) an$ the fish mitten (qv). (rom the gri use$ in ten in bo&ling. tent pole n. Stiffy; erect enis, es ecially in be$. See also trouser tent, morning glory, &ake u &ith =ake u . thatch hatch n. Aagina; hairy ie. Thelonius onk rhym. slang S unk. the other n. *t (qv); the ol$ ho&.s your father.

third leg n. See mi$$le &icket. Thora 'ird ,. !ctress of stair lift testimonial fame. /. rhym. slang Tur$. thrap % thrape v. To masturbate furiously; to give it si1 no&t on the 2ight >onourable 5ember for Un$er ants. three card trick rhym sl. %rick. !s in )She got her jazz ban$s roun$ me three car$ trick an$ starte$ giving it si1 no&t). three coiler n. 3og tur$; the curle$ an$ crim e$ result of not having &alke$ the $og, usually foun$ on a car et. three piece suite n. 5eat an$ t&o veg; &e$$ing tackle; the male un$ercarriage. three wheeler rhym. slang 3yke; lesbian. (rom -three &heele$ trike.. throne n. Bueen.s shitter. throne room n. Bueen.s shit house. throttage n. Throttage. throttle pit n. !us. Toilet. throttle the turkey v. The 9orfolk &ank. )@i$.s love -em). through a hedge backwards e1clam. !s in )%hoar; * coul$ fuck her through a he$ge back&ar$s). throw v. To barf; hoy; chuck. throwing a *oodbine down 6orthumberland (treet sim. *n 9e&castle, unsatisfying se1 &ith a bucket fannie$ (qv) in$ivi$ual. !s in )Dhy man, it &as like hoyin. a Doo$bine $oon 9orthumberlan$ Street); 7ee$s thro&ing a sausage u #riggate; >5 9avy thro&ing your kit bag in the !rk 2oyal.s $ry $ock, etc. thruppeny bits rhym. slang ,. Tits. /. The shits. thumper n. ?rection; stalk; stiffy. thunder bags n. Un$er ants; trollies. thunder bo! n. archaic 7avatory; shitter. !lso thun$er bo&l. thunder mug n. "hamber ot; iss ot. ticket to tottieville See token for the cock&ash. ticklers n. "orrugate$ con$oms; amusing (rench letters. tickle the pickle See jerkin the gherkin. Ti#uana bible n. US =azz4mag; orny book. (>ar$core rhythmic rea$ing is rea$ily available to !mericans in the neighbouring 5e1ican to&n.) Ti#uana cha-chan. The trots. (S icy foo$ is rea$ily available to !mericans in the neighbouring 5e1ican to&n.) See also sour a le quickste . tiffin n. >ome ma$e chocolate biscuit the reference to )a bit of) &hich in #ritish come$y films of the ,6LJs &as consi$ere$ amusing. tiffter n. Un&ante$ erection; =ake. tile hangers nailbags sim. Sagging, lum y tits. !s in )She ha$ tits like a

tile hanger.s nailbags). tinter n. >igh class totty; to class talent. e.g. 'f 5ick >ucknall one coul$ remark )7ucky blee$er. >e.s been u all the to tinter in his time). tit fairies n. (ictional visitors &ho magically transform the &ife.s frie$ eggs (qv) into T9Ts (qv) $uring an$ after regnancy. tit man n. >e &ho refers tits to arses or legs. tits n. ,. #reasts; knockers. !s in )Dhat a air of tits). /. (oolish or $erisory eo le. !s in )Dhat a bunch of tits). 0. 9erves. See &ick. titty fuck See sausage san$&ich. tit wank See soa y tit &ank. T6Ts T&o nifty tits. toffee strings See bea$ curtains. todger n. %enis. !lso ta$ger. todger toaster n. Aagina; cock&ash. tonsil hockey n. @issing; s it s&a ing. !s inG )(ancy a game of tonsil hockey8) token for the cockwash n. 2omantic gifts, e.g. flo&ers, chocolates, bottle of &ine. !s in )*.m just ni ing $o&n the off license to get a token for the cock&ash). See cock&ash. Tom ,. n. %rostitute. /. v. To carry out rostitution. !s in )!re you tomming it8) 0. rhym. slang Tomfoolery 4 je&ellery. toms % tom tits rhym. slang The shits. tongue #ob n. 7ick, as o ose$ to blo& job (qv). tongue shui See tongue &restling. tongue wrestling See tonsil hockey. tonk v. To fuck; bonk. tonsil hockey n. @issing; s&a ing s it. tookus See totty. tool n. %enis; manhoo$. !ll the 3*H enthusiast nee$s, along &ith his &anking s anners (qv), to get the job $one. toosh n. Totty. (rom US tush meaning -arse.. toot See oot. toothless sea lion sim. Smelly an$ unkem t minge (qv). !s in )She ha$ a fanny like a toothless sea lion). See also bull$og eating orrige. toot meat n. %enis. (rom the fictional musical s&eet of a similar name. See also be$ flute, meat flute, ink oboe etc. toot toot n. 2isque ##" arlance for vagina. tops and fingers a$j. Scale on &hich se1ual achievement is measure$ by teenage males. !s in )+et far last night8) )9ot half; * got my to s an$ t&o fingers). top banana e1clam. +ive that man a coconut; &hack4o4the4$i$$le4oh.

top bollocks n. #reasts. topless hand shandy See to less relief. topless relief n. #or$ellos eak for a bir$ &ith her tits out giving you a &ank. toss v. ,. To &ank, usually )yourself off). /. To fli ancakes through ,KJ $egrees $uring cooking. tossers twitch n. 9ervous affliction suffere$ by &ankers $uring erio$s of abstinence. toss parlour See rub4a4tug sho . toss pot n. ! erson hel$ in lo& esteem; a fuck&it. totty n. collective +irls; fanny. !s inG )>ey, this car.s a fanny magnet (qv). Since * bought it *.ve been beating off the totty &ith a shitty stick). Singular if refi1e$ )a nice bit of). touch v. To fon$le, usually )u ). touching cloth a$j. That stooling stage imme$iately after turtle.s hea$ (qv) &hen the movement establishes contact &ith the trollies. !s inG )*s there a bog roun$ here mate8 *.m touching cloth). touching socks a$j. The stage by &hich time it is too late to look for a toilet. tradesmens entrance n. #ack assage. trade spit See s&a s it. traff v. To fart; let off. train See ull a train. tranny n. Transse1ual, transvestite, trans arency or transit van. e.g. ! fettish hotogra her might say )Shit. * left that tranny of the tranny in the back of the tranny). trapn. @hasi; thun$erbo1; bog. travel fat n. Une1 laine$ =ake (qv) &hich a ears mysteriously $uring long bus journeys. *n military arlance convoy cock. tread on a frog v. ! &etter soun$ing version of ste on a $uck (qv). tree log n. ! chocolate shark (qv) &hose snout is in the &ater before it.s tail leaves your arse; a "uban bum cigar (qv). See also te$$y.s arm, gro& a tail. tree monkey n. (art. trick n. "ustomer in a rub4a4tug sho (qv). trim n. Ti$y bush; talent; totty. tripe hound n. %ig ugly $og. trogg n. Sim leton; fuck&it. See also ranny. trollies n. (ormerly osh term for kecks; thun$er bags; shre$$ies. trollop See trull. trots& the n. (requent ra i$ foot movement require$ to convey a

$iarrhoea sufferer to the lavatory. See also Tijuana cha4cha, sour a le quickste , Turkish t&o4ste . trouser arouser n. (it lass; goo$ looking bir$. trouser bandit n. Slightly more olite version of bum ban$it (qv). trouser chuff See chuff. trouser cough n. (art; botty bur . trousered a$j. Daste$; arsehole$; &ankere$; cream crackere$. trouser leg trombonist n. %o ular female musician &ho lays in the same ensemble as the skin flautist an$ ink oboe virtuoso. trouser auser n. ! small ra i$ firing orri$ge gun (qv). See also um action mottgun, mutton musket. trouser rake n. Stiffer version of the trouser snake. 'ften o s u an$ hits &omen in the face &hen stoo$ on. trouser rouser n. (art; #ron1 cheer. trouser snake See one4eye$ trouser snake. trouser tent n. ?mbarrassing ortable erection ma$e from canvas or other trouser material, &ith a zi u one si$e, su orte$ by a rigi$ shaft. *f occurring &hilst seate$ this can easily be conceale$ &ith a bo&ler hat. trouser trout See trouser snake. trouser trumpet n. ,. (art. /. The anus. trouser truncheon n. The beat bobby.s favourite tool, along &ith his highly olishe$ helmet. trout v. To ull. !s in )* &as out trouting last night. ?n$e$ u &ith a five4 to4t&o4er (qv). >a$ to che& me o&n arm off (qv) this morning). truffle hunting v. To felch (qv) but &ithout the cur$. trull n. ,Kth". %rostitute. trump v. To fart; ass &in$. tube steak n. #eef bayonet (qv) on the bone (qv). tug v. To ull, as in a u$ (qv). tug boat n. ! &oman of lain a earance an$ com act, muscular buil$; s&am $onkey (qv). tummy banana See tummy truncheon. tummy truncheon n. Si1th gear stick; orri$ge gun; enis. tuna town n. (emale genitalia; #illingsgate bo1. tup v. ,. To have se1; shag. /. 'f shee 4to4shee shagging, re$ hot horny ram on e&e action. tuppence licker n. 7esbo; bean flicker. turbot for tea See fish su er. turd n. "ra ; e1crement; bro&n trout. turd burglar n. Stealthy thief &ho forces entry into the rear of a erson.s remises via the chocolate $rain i e.

turdis n. 'ne of those $etache$, mo$ern, ortable, s ace age looking ublic conveniences. turistas See Turkish t&o4ste . turkey-neck n. That &hich is throttle$ in 9orfolk. See throttle the turkey. Turkish n. *rish. Turkish two-step n. 3iarrhoearal $ance not $isimilar to the sour a le quick ste ; Tijuana cha4cha, !ztec t&o4ste etc. turn +apanese v. To &ank. See also grin like a &anking =a . turn your bike round v. +o to the lavatory. !s in )?1cuse me, *.m just going to turn my bike roun$). tur$uoise n. ! la$y &ho allo&s the $og in the bathtub. turtle n. ,. %assive se1ual artner. /. #lit; fanny; fluff; talent. #ir$s, collectively, as se1 objects. turtles head n. The initial rotrusion of a stool though the teal to&el hol$er (qv); the oint at &hich contracts are e1change$ for the buil$ing of a log cabin (qv). See also touching cloth; touching socks. tush % tushie n. US #um; ass. "om are toosh. tussage n. Talent; female buffage (qv). T0 See tranny. twang the wire v. To luck out a rhythm on the cheesy none4stringe$ banjo. twanger See &hanger. twat ,. n. ! minge. !lso t&ot. /. Stu i$ erson. 0. v. To hit; beat u . twinkie n. US Tur$; chocolate log. twist US rhyming slang +irl. T&ist an$ t&irl. twister n. US %ervert. twitter n. (emale erineum; that area of the anatomy bet&een the t&at an$ the shitter (qv). See also chin rest, $uffy.s bri$ge. two pot screamer n. !us. Someone &ho cannot hol$ their beer. ! more reserve$ #ritish equivalent &oul$ be the half int >arry. two puppies fighting in a bag n. 7arge, mobile an$ unrestraine$ breasts. two ring circus n. 'ver4the4shoul$er4boul$er4hol$er; bra. two up n. T&o u . twin tone n. !n abru t, &et soun$ing fart &hich changes tone su$$enly as as the s hincter muscle acts to counter the imminent $anger of follo& through (qv). Twi! lips n. ! front bottom (qv) version of hungry arse (qv). See also camel.s foot. twunt n. Useful, satisfying yet inoffensive combination of t&o very ru$e &or$s &hich can safely be s oken in rimmest an$ ro erest com any.

<
< blocker n. ! tur$ so big it causes a jobbie jam in the foul $rainage system. udder scudder See sausage san$&ich. <%.%7% Uni$entifie$ $rinking injury. ! mysterious injury receive$ $uring a ben$er (qv) an$ of &hich the victim has no recollection. undefuckable a$j. #ust; $amage$ beyon$ re air. undercarriage n. +enitals (usually but not e1clusively male); &e$$ing tackle. undercrackers n. @ecks; shre$$ies; H fronts. underchunders n. That item of clothing into &hich the bottom chun$ers. @nickers; un$er ants; thun$er bags. (5ale or female) underdaks n. @ecks; H fronts; shre$$ies; crackerjack sacks; trollies. (5ale). underkecks See kecks. under thunder n. Aiolent rectal belching of the arse.s natural kak gases &hich eru t from the fart fissure. unit n. ,. +enitals, usually male. /. #ir$; an in$ivi$ual iece of talent (qv). unload v. To $ro a $e th charge (qv) or launch an air biscuit (qv). unmentionables n. 2oman catholic mother4in4la&4s eak for genitals or un$er&ear. unwrap the meat v. Tits oot for the la$s. upchuck v. To chuck u . uphill gardener eu h. >e &ho hoes on the ink allotments; usher of a cheesy &heelbarro& (qv) u the kak canyon; a male homose1ual. upstairs n. The rack (qv); to bollocks. !s in )Dhat.s she got u stairs8) )Stacke$ (qv) mate; 7ooks like a $ea$ heat in a ze elin race). up the duff See u the oke. up the poke See u the stick. up the stick See in the club. up to your nuts in guts a$j. !us. ?ngage$ in se1ual intercourse. See also in u to the bum er. up to your pots a$j. %isse$. up periscope n. #athtime game for u to one erson. See also olish the lighthouse. up the duff a$j. *n the u$$ing club; &ith bun in oven. up to the bumper a$j. 'f ork s&or$ fencing to be inserte$ u to the hilt; to the full e1tent. up to the buffers a$j. Aariation of u to the bum er referre$ by rail users.

<rals& the n. Aague an$ tenuous #ritish film come$y eu hemism for the testicles. See also the #alkans.

0
vadge See fa$ge. vag n. US !merican ie, the hairy variety. vagitarian n. >e &ho only eats hairy ie, fur burgers, an$ vertical bacon san$&iches, lus the occasional fish su er. 0alentines .ay porridge n. Semen; liqui$ earls. varnish the cane v. U on getting &oo$ (qv), to give it a one4han$e$ &a1ing. 0atican roulette n. %erio$ic abstinence metho$ of contrace tion o ular &ith larger catholic families. !lso rhythm metho$. veiny bang stick n. %enis; one4eye$ trouser snake. velcro triangle n. 5inge; mott; ma atasi. vertical bacon sandwich n. That &hich is clearly visible in hamburger shots (qv). !lso vertical smile, vertical taco. vesser n. ! silent fart. vinegar string n. #anjo (qv). vinegar strokes n. 'f males on the job, the final climactic stages of intercourse or masturbation. !s inG )Doul$ you believe it8 The hone rang just as * &as getting onto the vinegar strokes). (rom the similar facial e1 ression associate$ &ith si ing vinegar. vi!en n. Dily bir$; a young tem tress; a fo1y chick. e.g. Stevie 9icks in about ,6LK. 0P, Aisible %anty 7ine. vurp n. ! bur &hich brings u a small but foul tasting quantity of stomach contents small enough to be gul e$ straight back $o&n again.

*
wab n. %enis. wad n. ,. ! large sum of money &hich -7oa$samoney. &ave$ aroun$ mockingly an$ >arry ?nfiel$ later took to the bank. /. 7oa$; mess. !s in )'ooargh; *.ve shot me &a$;) wade in v. To move in for the kill imme$iately rior to ulling (qv) a bir$. !s in )>ol$ me int &ill ya. *.m gonna &a$e in on that bir$ &ith the camel.s foot (qv). She.s itching my trouser tent, she is). wake up with +ake up See =ake, $a&n horn, morning glory etc. walking tripod sim. Dell en$o&e$ male; $onkey rigge$ in$ivi$ual. Dhen a$miring buffage (qv) a la$y might remark )7ook at the thir$ leg on that. >e.s a &alking fucking tri o$).

walk the plank rhym. slang Dank. wallace rhym. slang. To vomit. (rom Dallace an$ +romit. !s in )>e.s &allace$ all over my ne& car et). wallop n. !ny otent blen$ of falling $o&n juice (qv). e.g. "arlsberg S ecial #re&. walnut n. +lan$ u the male arse &hich causes imme$iate ejaculation &hen oke$. walnut manoeuvre n. The mythical metho$ by &hich goo$ looking nurses are traine$ to oke your &alnut (qv) in or$er to obtain an instant s erm sam le. wand waver n. (lasher; se1ual e1hibitionist. wang See &hanger. wank ,. n. 5asturbation. !s in )*f you have a &ank every $ay you.ll go blin$). /. n. 2ubbish. e.g. )3on.t talk &ank). 0. v. To masturbate. !s in )5y brother &anks all the time an$ he.s got erfect eyesight). wanker n. ,. >e &ho &anks. /. ! fello& roa$ user; a motorist at &hom one &aves. !s in )Heah... an$ you too, &anker). wankered a$j. Aery $runk; too $runk to &ank. wank stain n. #um scra e; iss fla ; $i shit; toss ot. +eneral ur ose insult. wanky a$j. Self in$ulgent; retentious. wanking chariot n. Single be$, articularly common in stu$ent be$sits. wanking parlour n. #rothel; house of ill re ute; any club o ular &ith 9e&castle Unite$ $irectors. wanking spanners n. >an$s. wank sock n. Sock tie$ to a be$ ost $esigne$ to in$icate &hen &in$ con$itions are suitable for masturbation. wank tanks n. #alls; na$s; knackers. wap-waps n. #reasts. !lso $e4$oo4&a 4&a s. war paint n. 'f bir$s getting rea$y to go out at night, their make4u . wash the cosh v. To olish the love truncheon. water sports n. "hinese singing, for leasure, an$ in +erman. See "hinese singing lessons, gol$en sho&ers, +erman. waving a sausage in the Albert 'all See thro&ing a tab $o&n 9orthumberlan$ Street. wa! the dolphin v. %olish the or oise. wa" v. variously To iss; to uke; to &ank. wa"oo n. =acksie; anus. wa""ed a$j. %isse$ on, uke$ on an$ &anke$ off. wa""ock n. 'ne &ho is issing, uking an$ &anking all at the same time. wear the beard v. ,. To erform cunning linguistics on a &oman. /. 'f

bean flickologists, the stone (qv). !s inG )Hou can tell &hich one of them t&o &ears the bear$). "om are &ith bear$ (qv). weenie US n. %enis. !lso &ienie, &iener. weenie waggler See &an$ &aver. wedding tackle n. The male genitalia. !lso &e$$ing furniture. wedge v. To ull another.s un$er ants u the crack of their arse. n. Dhen so ulle$, a &e$gie. welders bench sim. Ugly. )She ha$ a face like a...) !lso blin$ cobbler.s thumb, burglars.s $og, bo1 of frogs, sack of chisels, etc. welly top sim. ! term use$ to $escribe larger vaginas. e.g. )She ha$ a fanny like a s la &elly to ). (S la meaning s laye$). *elsh n. 5asturbation by frottering &ith a leek &hile listening to a male voice choir. wet one n. !n untrust&orthy fart, ossibly a t&in tone (qv). wet season n. That time of the month &hen the crimson ti$e comes in. See surfing the crimson ti$e. whammers n. #azoomas; +ert Stonkers; big tits. whanger n. 7arge enis. !s inG )5y, that.s a &ho ing &hanger there in your ants). wheek v. Scotch To remove shit from an aero lane toilet. wheel tapping at the Bourneville factory v. 3abbling in homose1ual ractices; to bo&l one over from the %avilion en$; the a renticeshi serve$ rior to qualifying as a fully fle$ge$ cocoa shunter (qv). whidgey n. (ront bottom. whiff of lavender n. 'f a marriage, the sus icion of a bear$e$ bri$e. !s inG )* $on.t kno& about ?$&ar$. There.s a &hiff of laven$er about that marriage). See laven$er, bear$. whirling pits See helico ters. whisker pot n. (anny; minge. whistle down the 8 fronts v. (art; ass &in$. whistling in the dark v. 5uff $iving; eating hairy ie. white-out4 e1clam. Dhen t&o large, ale breasts are e1 ose$. See also un&ra the meat. whitewash the hall v. ! far more fulfilling job than ainting the ceiling (qv). white mouse n. Tam on. !lso cotton mouse. whitewater wristing v. To ull your u$; masturbate. white wee-wee n. %lanet Skaro 3alek term for semen. whoof v. To fart. whoof whoof4 e1clam. ,. Term of a roval $irecte$ at assing talent (qv). !s in )Dhoof &hoof; +ive that $og a bone). /. Term of $isa roval aime$

at assing $ogs (qv). whoopsy n. ! shit, usually on (rank S encer.s car et. wick n. ,. %enis. See $i your &ick. /. 9erves. !s in )(uck off. Hou.re getting on my &ick). wicked pisser n. US +oo$ egg or a goo$ sho&; to notch erson or e1 erience. !s in )Thank you very much for your kin$ness an$ generosity. Hou really have been the most &icke$ issers). wide-on n. (emale equivalent of a har$4on. willets n. ! ty e of jugs. willie n. =ohn Thomas; %ercy the ork s&or$sman; he &ho gives +ert Stonkers (qv) a earl necklace (qv). willie and the hand #ive n. 2hythmic, throbbing cork o ing combo &ho erform the #ologna bo (qv) among other $ances. willie wellie n. (rench letter; (rench safe; ?nglish overcoat. willie woofter rhym. slang %oofter. willnots n. Tagnuts; $angleberries. Toffee ent&ine$ in the kak canyon un$ergro&th &hich sim ly &ill not come off. windy pops n. #unny shooting bullets; chuffs; anal announcements. wind #ammer n. ! bro&n4 i e engineer (qv) &ho uts his jizz jemmy (qv) in the &in$ i e. winking walnut n. #ro&n eye; chocolate starfish. winky ,. n. Tiny cock. /. a$j. >aving a ten$ency to &ink a lot. winkybag ,. n. Tiny scrotum. /. n. Ugly ol$ &oman &ith a ten$ency to &ink a lot. winnie n. 7esbian; she &ho licks the honey ot (qv). winnet % winnit n. @ling4on; $ag; $angleberry; &illnot; bro&n room hanger on. witten See &innet. wombies (&om4beeeez) n. Tits; breasts; ba s. womfer (&om4fur) n. The female equivalent of biffin bri$ge (qv); chinrest (qv) use$ to avoi$ cram at a hairy ie (qv) tasting. wood n. ?rectivity of the enicular a en$ation. woody n. !n erectivation. wool n. US (luff (qv); blart; fanny; totty. wring the rattlesnake See si hon the ython. wu-wu (&oo4&oo) n. ,. (u4fu. /. 9oise a train makes.

=
=-ray specs n. S ectacles available only by mail or$er from the back of magazines &hich enable the &earer to see through a &oman.s clothing. === S ecial vi$eo certificate a&ar$e$ to ornogra hic films of

e1ce tionally oor soun$ an$ icture quality. !ylophone v. To move along a line of nake$ &omen &ho are all ben$ing $o&n, an$ s ank their bottoms 4 &hich are of varying sizes 4 &ith one.s enis; to lay a tune on &omenPs buttocks. (rom the +reek 1ylo meaning -&oo$. an$ honnicus meaning -to hit tunefully.

8
yabba dabbas n. The climactic stages of intercourse &hich imme$iately rece$e the $ooooooos; The vinegar strokes. yaffle the yoghurt canon v. Suck the cock, voraciously. yak n. ,. #ig hairy animal of unti$y a earance. /. ! feminist.s beaver (qv); minge &ith a ant moustache (qv). yang n. US %enis. See also yinyang. yank off v. Dank off; tug the T bone. yank the plank See yank off. yarbles n. Testicles. yard n. 'l$e Dorl$e %enis. 8asser n. US ?rection. abbrev. -Hasser "rack4a4fat.. %un on the name of the to&el titfere$ %alestinian. yawn See technicolour ya&n. 8 bone steak n. (emale o osite of a tube steak (qv). yinyang ,. n. US !rse; bum. /. (uck&it; $u e. yodel See ya&n. yodel in the canyon ; valley See gro&l at the ba$ger. yongles US n. Testicles. yoni n. !ncient >in$u (emale genitals; fanny. yonks4 e1clam. %o ular vocal reaction to fin$ing a tenner on a cartoon avement. yo-yo knickers n. #ike; loose &oman; &oman &hose knickers go u an$ $o&n faster than 2ichar$ #ranson.s hot air balloons. york v. echoism To vomit. See also call >uey.

>
"aftig a$j. =uicy. *$eal come$y +erman alliterating a$jective to refi1 ze s (qv). "eps n. abbr. Ne elins. 7arge breasts. !lso >in$en4burgs. "ig-a-"ig ahhhh4 echoism To have a bloo$y goo$ &ank &atching a S ice +irls vi$eo. >in"anbrook (zin4zan4bruck) 9N rhym. slang (uck. "ipperfish n. %enis; trouser trout; un$er ant eel. "ipper sniffer n. >unter of the ant ython, male or female.

"onked a$j. %isse$; &ankere$; &azze$. "ounds n. +o$.s &oun$s. ,Lth" s&ear &or$ banne$ by !ct of %arliament in ,OF,, but okay no& if use$ in mo$eration. See also ga$zooks. "oob % "ubrick n. %enis. "ook n. %rostitute. "orber v. To have se1 in the +reek (qv) style. e.g. )Sorry * can.t sit $o&n. *.ve been zorbere$). "ucchini n. US %enis. (*talian &or$ for courgettes). "uffle v. To &i e your cock on the curtain after having se1, usually in a osh bir$.s house.