ZONDERVAN

Transformed
Copyright 2013 by Caesar Kalinowski
This title is also available as a Zondervan ebook. Visit www.zondervan.com/ebooks.
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Kalinowski, Caesar.
Transformed : a radical picture of the Christian life : who we are & how we get
to live / Caesar Kalinowski. 1st [edition].
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-310-33349-4 (softcover)
1. Christian life. I. Title.
BV4501.3.K355 2014
248.4dc232013018942
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible,
New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.
Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations marked nlt are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation
copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of
Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked MSG are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright by Eugene H.
Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress
Publishing Group.
The author has used, with their permission, terms and concepts developed by Soma
Communities, as noted in the endnotes
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Contents
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Part 1

A New Identity
1. Who Are You?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
2. A New Way of Being . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Part 2

Identity: Who We Are

3. Family. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
4. Missionaries. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
5. Servants. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
6. Disciples. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

47
63
77
90

Part 3

Rhythms: How We Live

7. Story-Formed. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109
8. Listen. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
9. Eat. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136
10. Bless . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148
11. Celebrate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162
12. Re-Create. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173
13. One Life to Live. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184
pilogue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 201
E
Appendix A: The Story of God. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203
Appendix B: Identity and Rhythms Diagnostic . . . . . . . . . . . 208
Notes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 214

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Part 1

A New
Identity

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I cant remember a time in my life when I felt normal.

I dont mean that Ive always been weird, though my wife, kids,
and a few of my friends may disagree. What I mean is that from
as far back as I can remember, I had a sense that I was destined
for something a little out of the ordinarysomething bigger, and
dare I use the word special? Something more important than what
I saw and experienced around me.
A bigger purpose.
As a boy, I dreamed of being a superhero. But, alas, I could never
get my web shooters to work properly. As a teenager and young
man, I thought Id get my break by becoming a famous rock star,
so I played guitar in several bands over a number of years. But
soon after I got married, that dream fizzled out.
Go figure!
After I began a relationship with Jesus, putting my hope, trust, and
future into his hands, this feeling only intensified. I felt closer to the
dream. My heart, for a while, beat a little faster. Was I supposed
to go to a foreign land and run an orphanage or hospital? Maybe I
should become a male version of Mother Teresa with long hair and
a midwestern accent. Did God only use p
eople who were pastors
or in full-time ministry to do great things and change the world?
And how come my life as a Christian, though it was slowly chang
ing, still looked and felt pretty much like the lives of everyone else
in my family and the town I lived in?
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A New Identity
I found myself a young married father of three small children, still
struggling with many of the same sins, attitudes, and relational
muck I grew up with. And now I was passing this legacy on to my
kids.
Wait. Stop the train!
I finally realized that it wasnt fame or fortune I desired. It was
something bigger and much profounder than all of that. I longed to
be truly different. To be someone else.
I wantedno, I neededa transformation to occur.
Maybe this is your journey too.

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Chapter 1

Who Are You?

When I was a kid, e
 very time we used curse words in my fam
ily, my parents would put a mark on a list hanging on the refrigera
tor. Once a month or so, my father made us take a big ol lick on a
gold-colored bar of Dial soap as a punishmentone lick for every
time we cussed. Sometimes those gag-inducing sessions were
pretty long. The only silver lining to this story was that my dad,
whom we learned most of our curse words from, also took his
licks. Fair was fair. I can remember him having to take upwards of
fifty or sixty licks on some occasions. That was awesome!
I dreaded those days of soap-licking retribution, though it pro
duced a pretty immediate behavioral modification.
For the moment.
After moving out of my parents house at age eighteen, I devel
oped a prolific potty mouth (to put it nicely). At that time, I had
what I thought was the best job in the worldw orking at a
Harley-D avidson dealership. It sort of served as my professional
training in the creative and excessive use of foul language, among
other things. I became an aficionado, consistently weaving a tap
estry of profanity so tight that I became numb to the sheer density
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A New Identity
and proficiency of my use of foul language. The supposed disci
pline and hoped-for modifications of my soap-licking days hadnt
taken root in my life or my use of language.
More on my transformation in that area later.

But Now Im a Christian ...

As Christians we often wonder why we continue to sin in the same
old ways, see so little real change in our lives, and possess such
a low desire to be on mission for God. We generally continue
to live our Christ ian version of the American Dream with a little
church attendance thrown in on Sundays and maybe a weekly
Bible study when it fits our schedule. If we have stepped up to
the level of tithing on our incomewell, then we are really getting
somewhere.
The sad truth is, we dont experience that big of a change really.
Not at the heart level. Not in the nitty-gritty rhythms and stuff of
life.
Is this what Jesus came and died on the cross for?
It turns out that for many of us, our conversion was really
focused on our afterlife (going to heaven and avoiding hell) and
has had little effect on our lives in the here and now. What hap
pened to being new creations? And why dont we, as the church
now, experience life more in line with what we read in Acts 2?
They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to fel
lowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was
filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by
the apostles. All the believers were together and had every
thing in common. They sold property and possessions to
give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to
meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their
homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, prais

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Who Are You?

ing God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord
added to their number daily those who were being saved.1

Having spent years trying to pastor p

eople asking these same
questions, and feeling the ineffectiveness of applying more tradi
tional spiritual disciplines, I began to wonder how the apostles
Paul and Peter, as well as the other disciples, managed to live
such transformed liveslives that were not only personally trans
formed, but that also changed the world.
Dont get me wrong here; I am in favor of, and have found great
benefit in, many of the more traditional forms of spiritual disci
pline: time in the Word each day, prayer, keeping a journal, prayer
walking, and so on. But as Ive learned from reading the writings
of mystic and author Henri Nouwen, all of those disciplines are
meant to be a means of creating space and time for God to act,
for the Spirit to speak to us in intimate ways. The discipline itself is
not what changes usit is Gods grace that does.
So perhaps we already have the right pieces to the puzzle, but
maybe weve spent years focusing on the wrong things and miss
ing some pretty exciting stuff that could make all the difference in
the world.
Whats the secret?

Who Are You?

Several years ago, I spent quite a lot of time going in and out of
South Sudan during the decades-long civil war that ravaged the
nation and its p
eople. I took part in different missions to deliver
much-needed food and lifesaving medicine and to encourage the
local Christians as we preached the gospel whenever we could.
These experiences were life changing for me in many ways, but
one of the biggest things that stuck outa nd began to stick
to mewas how different church was in Sudan compared to
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A New Identity
the life I was living as a Christian, father, and pastor in the United
States. It seemed that whenever I was over there in Africa with the
Sudanese believers, we were the church.
Them and me. Together we were the church.
They didnt have buildings or any resources to do church. No elab
orate Sunday services with lights and sound systems. They just were
the church. They loved each other, shared what very, very little they
had, and literally laid down their lives for the sake of the gospel. And
these Christians who owned nothing (no-thing) were filled with joy.
Seriously.
One day while we were distributing food in a refugee camp near
the border of Uganda, I met a boy who looked to be about twelve
years old.
Who are you? I asked him.
His name was James. He was tall and superthin, and just like
everyone else in this camp, he had lived through near-starvation
and brutal attacks by militant rebels that had decimated his vil
lage. I noticed that his left hand and arm were scarred and dis
figured, and he had a large patch of hair missing that seemed to
have been burned off at some point in the past. I asked our trans
lator if he knew what had happened to the boy. He asked James
to tell me his story.
James shared that a few months earlier he and his two broth
ers were walking with their parents when radical Islamic soldiers
hacked his parents to death with machetes right before their
eyesbecause they were Christians. The soldiers then threw him
and his two brothers onto a large pile of burning garbage. His
brothers died in the fire that day, but James somehow managed
to crawl out of the fire and escape with his life.

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Who Are You?

He then went on to tell me how grateful he was!
Im not kidding. He was thankful that God had spared his life
against all odds that dreadful day, and he knew that he would one
day see his family again in heaven and that they were in a safe
place now with J esus. I was blown away. I wept like a baby.
As I spent more time with James and other Christians in the refugee
camp that day, I couldnt help but notice they exhibited unbelievable
joy. They were the happiest people I had ever been with in my life.
Amid the war, horrible famine, and persecution they suffered on a
daily basis, these brothers and sisters in Christ were filled with a
sense of peace and joy that I had never personally experienced.
Shouldnt I, with all of my American health, wealth, and comfort be
happier and more grateful than them?
I remember crying out to God, saying, I would trade everything I
have to experience the joy they find in you!
And God replied, Then do.
Ouch. It sort of felt like what J esus had to say to the rich young
ruler in Matthew 19. Paraphrasing, heres the story:
A young man came up to Jesus and asked, What good
things must I do to get into the kingdom?
Jesus replied, God is the only one who is good. Follow his
commandments.
The man said, I have obeyed his commandswhat else
must I do?
Go sell everything you have and give the money to the
poor, and you will have heavenly treasures. Then come
and follow me.2
Did I need to get rid of all of my personal (and my familys) posses
sions in order to find true joy and purpose in my Christian life? Did
I need to move to Africa to really be the church?
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A New Identity
The point of this story J esus told wasnt to get us all to go and
sell our stuff; it was for us to see where our true treasure, hope,
and delight are found. Do we find our happiness, security, and
purpose in our stuff and from what we doo r in who we are
because of who he is?

Its All about Jesus

James and the other Sudanese Christians I spent time with had
no possessions, no country, no homes, and in some cases, no
earthly familiesn othing left to put their hope in. But they had
found the only thing that truly satisfies the human heart: J esus.
They didnt have or need material possessions to be happy, and
there was nothing profound for them to do.
They had found their very lifet heir identity and purposein
Jesus.
As Christ ians they (and we) are a part of a family whose Father
is God himself. J esus is our Brother. And we have been sent
by the Spirit on a life-altering mission to see more and more
p eople come to know J esus and find eternal life and the peace
he offers.
It is J esus who pursues, secures, and maintains our position in
the family of God. He died that we might be restored to a right
relationship with his Father, back into the family we were origi
nally created to be a part of. J esus, our Servant King, gave us his
indwelling Spirit and sent us out on his mission.
Its all about Jesus.
The Bible teaches that if we are in Christ, we have become part
of a family of missionary servants, sent as disciples who make
disciples.3
This is who we are. This is our new identity. This is the secret.
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Who Are You?

The more we understand and believe this to be true, the more our
lives will be transformedand the more peace, joy, and purpose
we will find in life.
So who are you?

Baptized into This New Identity

If youve ever been baptized or witnessed a baptismal ceremony,
youve seen and heard Jesus answer to that question. But maybe
you missed it. In Matthew 28:19, he lays out the entire picture and
command for us this way: Therefore go and make disciples of all
nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son
and of the Holy Spirit. There it is: our identity and mission as the
church and the means to accomplish it.
Our baptism is not some magic, saving spell or just a culturally
ancient ritual; we are baptized, soaked, given a new identity within
a new communitythe church.
In the name of the Father and the name of the Son and the name
of the Holy Spiritthis constitutes a profound identity statement
about who we are now. Lets take a quick look at each of these.

God Is Our Daddy

Our name has everything to do with whose family we belong to.
In the past, if your last name was Johnson, you may have had a
father named John, and if you were his sonwell, you get the
picture. Maybe as Christ ians we should all have the last name
Godson, for God is our Father. The living God of the universe is
the Daddy (Abba)4 of the church, and we are his children.
Both the one who makes p
eople holy and those who are made
holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them
brothers and sisters.5 J esus calls us his brothers and sisters,
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A New Identity
which points to the reality that the church is a family. It is part of
our transformed identity, and well look deeply into how our family
identity shapes the church in chapter 3.
Unlike our human fathers, God is the consistently patient Father.
He is the ultimate provider. He is a perfectly caring and protective
Father. Regardless of how good of a dad we had growing up, he
was flawed and imperfect. But not our heavenly Father. Hell never
yell (or curse) at us and never leave or abandon us. He will never
harm or abuse us. We have an eternal and never-changing, loving
Father, and we are his family on this earth.

Saved to Serve
We have entered into a relationship with J esus that defines our
identity. He is not only our Brother; he is also our King. And we
are now his servants who serve others as a way of life, following
Jesus ultimate example on the cross. Being a servant is a part of
our renewed identity. In fact, J esus reminds his followers of their
new reality: Whoever wants to be first must be your slavejust
as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to
give his life as a ransom for many.6
When J esus washed his disciples feet just days before his death,
he showed them a clear picture of who he was and who he was
making them to be. At first, Peter, who often spoke before think
ing, declared that he would never allow Jesus to wash his feet. But
Jesus told his disciples, Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater
than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent
him.7
When I was a new believer, an older brother befriended me and
spent time teaching me about our identity as a servant. Johnnie
became a lifelong mentor and friend of mine as he listened to me;
modeled Christlike behavior for me; and prayed, ate meals, and
laughed (a lot) with me. One thing I noticed about Johnnie was that
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Who Are You?

he always opened the door for his wife, Ruth. He would practically
kill himself to beat her around the car to get that door open for her.
He also honored her by seating her at the dinner table. I dont think
Ruth has pulled out her own chair to sit down in thirty years!
Well, maybe this Johnnie is just a nice guy, you might be thinking.
But then I noticed something that really messed with me and for
ever changed my experience in public bathrooms.
Whenever Johnnie and I were in a restroom at the same time, I often
saw him picking up any discarded paper towels or toilet paper that
was accidentally or carelessly left on the floor. He would always pick
it up and throw it away before washing up and leaving. This kind
of grossed me out, and (much like the apostle Peter) I thought to
myself, I would never do thatthat is crazy! When I asked Johnnie
why he did it, he said, That is what a servant does. He cleans up
the mess that others make in lifejust like J esus did for us.
Boom. And just like that, I have been picking up runaway paper
products in bathrooms ever since.
Thanks, Johnnie!
Thanks, Jesus.
What begins to happen when we believe our identity as a servant,
and when we grasp the degree to which we have been served by
Jesus, is that we naturally begin to serve. Because this is who we
are, serving becomes an act of worship and an immediate display
of what J esus is like. Opportunitiesb ig and smallto live as
servants are all around us every day. Well spend a lot more time
looking at this in chapter 5.

Come and See or Go and Make?

Throughout the Bible, the Holy Spirit is the sending agent of the
church. He empowered J esus while on earth, he guided and
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A New Identity
omforted the early church, and his indwelling presence trans
c
forms our identity into sent ones, literally missionaries.
When I was a boy growing up in the Midwest, our church building
had a big map of the world in the lobby with pins marking places
where we supported missionaries. There were also pictures of
these missionaries, who were usually dressed in outdated cloth
ing and looked rather sad. Every once in a while, one of these
missionaries would come and visit on a Sunday and tell us sto
ries from the field and show us pictures of skinny, dirty children
with flies on their eyes and lips. Yuck. Then the pastor would
pass the offering baskets to take up a special offering for them.
Twice.
We were taught that these p
eople in the photographs, who always
worked and served in faraway lands, were the missionaries. They
never told us what the Bible teaches: all Christians are missionar
ies. After his resurrection, Jesus appeared to his disciples behind
locked doors and commissioned them: Peace be with you!
As the Father has sent me, I am sending you. And with that he
breathed on them and said, Receive the Holy Spirit.8
The church is not a building; the church is p
eople. Always has
been. I am not sure how we came to refer to the buildings that we
often gather in on Sunday as the church, but it is some pretty
bad theology. In my community, we often, somewhat jokingly,
correct one another when someone says, Ill see you at church
on Sunday. We respond, You cant go to church; you are the
church!
The church has always been a sent p eople. J esus never
intended that we primarily find our Christian life and expression
through a one- to two-hour service once a week inside a building.
We have the other six days and twenty-two hours each week to
live out our identity as his missionary family. Jesus command to
go and make disciples was not a suggestion.
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Who Are You?

And J esus didnt say, Ask p eople to come and see. He always
intendeda nd his life is our examplet hat we would incar
nate (give bodily form to) his mission out in the world, neighbor
hood, offices, gyms, parks, and so on to show what he is like
and to share the gospel by both our lifes display and our words.
Regardless of how God decides to route our paychecks, whether
through a business or through a church, we are all full-time, paid
missionaries.
The idea of all believers being missionaries did not start with
Jesus or the apostles. This missionary identity is part of who our
Father God is and has always been. In Genesis 3 we read the sad
story of Adam and Eves distrust of God and rebellion and the first
human sin. Watch what happens right after Eve and Adam eat the
forbidden fruit:
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God
as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and
they hid from the L ord God among the trees of the garden.
But the Lord God called to the man, Where are you?9

As soon as the first humans sinned against God in disobedience,

God set out on the first recorded missionary journey looking for
his beloved children. Where are you? he called out. Immediately
after we sinned, God set out on a rescue mission. That is what he
is like. J esus is a lot like his Dad, and we were originally created in
his imageto be like him too.10

Our New Little Sister

A few years ago I received a phone call from a woman I did not
know, asking me if I would be willing to meet with her daugh
ter, Jody. She shared with me that Jody was suffering from major
clinical depression, was a drug user, and had recently attempted
suicide. I was a little surprised that someone in Jodys situation
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A New Identity
would want to meet with me, presumably to talk about spiritual
things, but I agreed to meet with her if she was up for it.
We met at a local caf. Jody was a highly tattooed twentysome
thing, very thin, and perpetually shaking from the cocktail of drugs
she took for her depression, on top of alcohol abuse. The dark
circles under her eyes added to her hollow look. I remember that
she seemed like a scared puppy who had been beaten by a hor
rible master. But when I asked her to tell me her story, immediately
I could see that she was amazingly smart, articulate, and ready to
talk.
Jody told me she had grown up in a house with a mother who
saw a pretty steady string of men who came in and out of their
lives. Sex and drugs were always around for her both to see and
to participate in from a very early age. Her mother also suffered
from clinical depression and was the one who had suggested
Jody start taking many of the same drugs she was on. Two years
earlier, Jody found out she had cancer. Her boyfriend at the time,
Nick, immediately abandoned her because he could not deal
with this cancer stuff. She had recovered (miraculously) from the
cancer, alone, and had then reunited with Nick, with whom she
was currently living. A week previous to our visit, she found out
she was pregnant, and Nick promptly moved out again, saying he
could not handle that either. She was contemplating ending her
life.
In the weeks and months that followed, the Holy Spirit carefully
guided my wife and I, along with our missional community, to pur
sue Jody. He sent us on an extended rescue mission. At first,
even though she said she wanted our help, she stopped answer
ing phone calls. I had to drive over to her apartment in order to
talk with her. She didnt have a car, so we began to serve Jody by
giving her rides to work or to doctors appointments. Eventually
we even picked her up to come celebrate, eat, and experience
God with our church community on Sunday mornings. She found
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Who Are You?

peace being with this family and had a desire to know God and
get her life straightened out.
She could no longer afford to keep her apartment since she was
now living alone, so our missional community collectively paid
$1,800 to get her out of the lease on the apartment and helped
move her and her dog into the home of another c
ouple in our
community. Jody slowly stopped taking all of the medications that
were supposed to help her depression and found that she was
healthier, happier, and more clearheaded without them. Her shak
ing stopped and she became physically healthy for the first time in
years as the baby inside of her grew and grew. Her faith in J esus
also grew as she began to believe that he loved her dearly and
would never abandon her or forget about her. He could deal with
her stuff. She had seen and experienced his love from our com
munity (his family), and it forever changed her life.
It was there with us, protected and cared for, that Jody put her
faith in J esus. She became a child of God, our sister, and a new
mother that year. She was part of the family.
Living as a family of missionary servants is what it means to
be a disciple of J esus. This is our new identity. We are this way
because God is this way. Our new identity is not based on what
we do; it is found in who we are.
The way of the world is that we do things (per form, ser ve,
work, etc.) to have value in the eyes of our family, friends, par
ents, spouse, siblings, boss, pastor, and others. If we do a good
enough job and are perceived as valuable, p eople will want us
around. Out of this activity, we often form our identity. What we do
has led to who we areor at least we think it has. But this way of
living is terribly dangerous, for it goes against how God sees us,
and eventually it crushes us.
Dont believe the do = be lies anymore.
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A New Identity

Things to Think About

How would your life change if you lived solely out of your
identity in Christ, as an image bearer of God?
How would your relationships change if you viewed and
treated others based on their identity as image bearers
of God?
How would our lives, our families, and churches change
if we believed our new identity and began to live like a
family of missionary servants?
How would others in the world perceive us if we lived this
way?

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Transformed
A New Way of Being Christian
by Caesar Kalinowski
In Transformed, Caesar Kalinowski looks realistically at
the identity you have been given in Christ and how it
reshapes everything about you. Set free from
performance-driven spirituality and guilt, you will draw
closer to God, allowing him to radically change the wellworn rhythms and patterns of your every day life and
transform your relationships from the inside out.

Buy Transformed Today!