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7 Habits

7 Habits
of
of
Highly Effective People
Highly Effective People
Steven Covey
Steven Covey
Introduction
Introduction

15 million users
15 million users

750 thousand trained each year


750 thousand trained each year

28 languages
28 languages

Organised Common Sense


Organised Common Sense

not Common
not Common
Practice
Practice

Universal
Universal

personal, professional, religion etc.


personal, professional, religion etc.

Across cultures, societies, etc.


Across cultures, societies, etc.

Used by US Navy, Microsoft, Sony, etc.


Used by US Navy, Microsoft, Sony, etc.
Foundation Principles
Introduction
Introduction
Foundation Principles

Journey
Journey

What Matters Most


What Matters Most

Wherever you already are in your life


Wherever you already are in your life

Get out what you put in


Get out what you put in

pay the price


pay the price

Coachable
Coachable

in school we learned how to take tests


in school we learned how to take tests

Player
Player

Principles & Processes for a Fuller, Richer &


Principles & Processes for a Fuller, Richer &
Effective Life
Effective Life

Time Matrix Choices


Time Matrix Choices

Discover your Governing Values


Discover your Governing Values

Long Term & Short Term Goals


Long Term & Short Term Goals

Prioritise and Execute your Goals


Prioritise and Execute your Goals

Transform your Life in 21 days


Transform your Life in 21 days

Guaranteed!
Guaranteed!
Habits
Habits

Habits form Character


Habits form Character

We first make Habits, then they make us


We first make Habits, then they make us

Habits can be learned & un learned


Habits can be learned & un learned

We are what we repeatedly do.


We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a Habit
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a Habit

Aristotle
Aristotle
Foundation Principles
Developing Habits
Developing Habits
Habits
Knowledge
(what, why)
Desire
(want)
Skill
(how)
Foundation Principles
Theoretical
Practical Motivational
Character & Personality
Character & Personality
Foundation Principles
Personality
Character
Character & Personality
Character & Personality

Techniques only does Personality


Techniques only does Personality

How to Be vs. how to appear to Be


How to Be vs. how to appear to Be

150 years of literature


150 years of literature

Character Ethic
Character Ethic

Last 50 years
Last 50 years
-
-
Personality Ethic
Personality Ethic

Character communicates powerfully


Character communicates powerfully

Character is what people say behind your back


Character is what people say behind your back

Measure is your action


Measure is your action

Character is not the path of least resistance


Character is not the path of least resistance

Character is durable (bamboo)


Character is durable (bamboo)
Foundation Principles
Levels of Leadership
Levels of Leadership

Management & Leadership


Management & Leadership

(ladder, forest)
(ladder, forest)

Lead people vs. Manage things


Lead people vs. Manage things

Leadership precedes Management


Leadership precedes Management

Right brain vs. left brain


Right brain vs. left brain

Doing the right things vs. doing things right


Doing the right things vs. doing things right

Trust
Trust

Character & Competence


Character & Competence

Those lead are like a Seed


Those lead are like a Seed

Inside Out Approach


Inside Out Approach

Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be


Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be
opened from the inside
opened from the inside

Marilyn Ferguson
Marilyn Ferguson
Foundation Principles
Levels of Leadership
Levels of Leadership
Personal - Trustworthiness
Interpersonal - Trust
Managerial - Empowerment
Organisational - Alignment
Foundation Principles
Levels of Leadership
Levels of Leadership

Each Organisation is it
Each Organisation is it

s own eco
s own eco
-
-
system
system

Chronic Individual problems become


Chronic Individual problems become
Organisational problems
Organisational problems

An imbalance of any 4 adversely effect the


An imbalance of any 4 adversely effect the
Organisation
Organisation

Organisation has systems but Departmental problems


Organisation has systems but Departmental problems

Managerial training or delegation but trustless people


Managerial training or delegation but trustless people

Interpersonal team building but with hidden agendas


Interpersonal team building but with hidden agendas

Personal only has no advantage as non alignment of


Personal only has no advantage as non alignment of
individual goals with organisational goals
individual goals with organisational goals

Global Economy of low cost and high quality


Global Economy of low cost and high quality
requires trust
requires trust
Foundation Principles
Levels of Leadership
Levels of Leadership

Formal & Moral


Formal & Moral

Management of Things = Formal Authority


Management of Things = Formal Authority

Leader of People = Moral Authority


Leader of People = Moral Authority

Become my leader even though I am your Boss


Become my leader even though I am your Boss

Government has Formal Authority


Government has Formal Authority

Civil Society has Moral Authority


Civil Society has Moral Authority

Private Enterprise has the freedom to choose


Private Enterprise has the freedom to choose
Foundation Principles
Three Person Teaching
Three Person Teaching
1
st
Person
3
rd
Person
Capture
Expand
Apply
2
nd
Person
Foundation Principles
Three Person Teaching
Three Person Teaching

Reinforces learning
Reinforces learning

Heart learning vs. head learning


Heart learning vs. head learning

Increases the commitment to apply Principles


Increases the commitment to apply Principles

Assists in re
Assists in re
-
-
scripting
scripting

legitimises change
legitimises change

Teach once = Learn twice


Teach once = Learn twice

Bonding
Bonding

Only the Consciously Competent can teach


Only the Consciously Competent can teach

Teach at home & at work


Teach at home & at work

Make life examples of all points


Make life examples of all points
Foundation Principles
Three Person Teaching
Three Person Teaching
Foundation Principles
10
20
30
50
70
80
95
0
20
40
60
80
100
R
e
a
d
H
e
a
r
S
e
e
H
e
a
r
/
S
e
e
D
i
s
c
u
s
s
E
x
p
e
r
i
e
n
c
e
T
e
a
c
h
Learning Retention
Production /
Production /
Production Capabilities Balance
Production Capabilities Balance

Production
Production

golden egg
golden egg

Production Capabilities
Production Capabilities
-
-
goose
goose

P / PC Balance
P / PC Balance

PC Resources
PC Resources
Human Human
Financial Financial
Physical Physical
Technological Technological

Every P problem is a P/C opportunity


Every P problem is a P/C opportunity

Can a farmer cram like you did your studies?


Can a farmer cram like you did your studies?
Knowledge, Health, Car, Technology, Relationships, etc. Knowledge, Health, Car, Technology, Relationships, etc.
Foundation Principles
Emotional Bank Account
Emotional Bank Account

Deposits
Deposits

Understanding
Understanding

Kindness & Courtesy,


Kindness & Courtesy,
& little things
& little things

Keeping Promises
Keeping Promises

Honouring
Honouring
Expectations
Expectations

Loyalty to the Absent


Loyalty to the Absent

Making Apologies
Making Apologies

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

Withdrawals
Withdrawals

Ignoring
Ignoring

Unkindness, rudeness,
Unkindness, rudeness,
& thoughtlessness
& thoughtlessness

Breaking Promises
Breaking Promises

Violating
Violating
Expectations
Expectations

Disloyalty, Duplicity
Disloyalty, Duplicity

Pride, Conceit, Ego


Pride, Conceit, Ego

Grudges
Grudges
Foundation Principles
Emotional Bank Account
Emotional Bank Account

Everyone starts with a small deposit


Everyone starts with a small deposit

Understand from their frame of reference


Understand from their frame of reference

Do unto others as they would be done to


Do unto others as they would be done to

Look for highest deposits & withdrawals


Look for highest deposits & withdrawals

Giving and receiving feedback


Giving and receiving feedback

I instead of you
I instead of you

Patience
Patience

slow is fast & fast is slow


slow is fast & fast is slow
Foundation Principles
Maturity Continuum
Maturity Continuum

Dependence
Dependence

Private Victory
Private Victory

Habits 1 2 3
Habits 1 2 3

Independence
Independence

Public Victory
Public Victory

Habits 4 5 6
Habits 4 5 6

Interdependence
Interdependence

Habit 7
Habit 7
Foundation Principles
Maturity Continuum
Maturity Continuum
Foundation Principles

Dependence
Dependence

You
You

Independence
Independence

I
I

Interdependence
Interdependence

We
We

Order cannot be reversed


Order cannot be reversed

Different levels for different things


Different levels for different things
Maturity Continuum
Maturity Continuum
Foundation Principles

1. Be Proactive
1. Be Proactive

2. Begin with the End in Mind


2. Begin with the End in Mind

3. Put First Things First


3. Put First Things First

4. Think Win
4. Think Win
-
-
Win
Win

5. First Understand, then be Understood


5. First Understand, then be Understood

6. Synergise
6. Synergise

7. Sharpen the Saw


7. Sharpen the Saw
Maturity Continuum
Maturity Continuum
5. First Understand
then be
Understood
6. Synergise
4. Think Win-Win
3. First Things First
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin
With the End in Mind
7. Sharpen the Saw
Interdependence
Independence
Dependence
Public
Victory
Private
Victory
Foundation Principles
Principles
Principles

Natural Laws
Natural Laws

Universal, timeless
Universal, timeless

Produce predictable outcomes


Produce predictable outcomes

External to ourselves
External to ourselves

Operate with or without our understanding


Operate with or without our understanding

Self evident & enabling when understood


Self evident & enabling when understood

To test them try the opposite


To test them try the opposite

Principles control, not us


Principles control, not us

(battleship)
(battleship)

We can only control our choices and actions


We can only control our choices and actions

Principles control the consequences


Principles control the consequences
Foundation Principles
Principles & Values
Principles & Values

Values
Values
-
-
Our Priority
Our Priority

Self chosen beliefs or ideals


Self chosen beliefs or ideals

Internal, based on how we see the world


Internal, based on how we see the world

Influenced by upbringing & society


Influenced by upbringing & society

Principles
Principles
Values
Values
-
-
External
External
-
-
Internal
Internal
-
-
Objective
Objective
-
-
Subjective
Subjective

Principles cannot be broken


Principles cannot be broken

we break
we break
ourselves if we fight it
ourselves if we fight it

Values tend to eclipse Principles


Values tend to eclipse Principles

Make Values, Principles


Make Values, Principles
Foundation Principles
Paradigms
Paradigms
Foundation Principles

Our Map
Our Map

attitude cannot help a wrong map (city)


attitude cannot help a wrong map (city)

No two people share the same Paradigm (glasses)


No two people share the same Paradigm (glasses)

Paradigm Shifts (kids on bus)


Paradigm Shifts (kids on bus)

Quickest way to change Behaviour/Attitude is to change


Quickest way to change Behaviour/Attitude is to change
Paradigms
Paradigms

understanding, role, name


understanding, role, name

Our Paradigm is incomplete


Our Paradigm is incomplete

stories
stories

Better understanding of a situation or others


Better understanding of a situation or others

Constantly looking for Truth


Constantly looking for Truth
-
-
Broadening ourselves
Broadening ourselves

Social Mirror
Social Mirror

others, limiting, use imagination


others, limiting, use imagination

We see the world as we are and not as it is


We see the world as we are and not as it is

Self Fulfilling Prophecy


Self Fulfilling Prophecy

Difficult to change
Difficult to change

(elephant, rat)
(elephant, rat)
However, change happens in an instant However, change happens in an instant
Processes
Processes

Tools and methods outlined later


Tools and methods outlined later

Routines of mental or physical activity


Routines of mental or physical activity

Each Habit will have some you can use


Each Habit will have some you can use
Foundation Principles
Basic Change Model
Basic Change Model
Foundation Principles
See
Do
Get
Basic Change Model
Basic Change Model
Principles
Behaviours
Processes Stakeholder Needs
Paradigms
See
Do
Get
Results
Foundation Principles
Quotes
Quotes

Sow a thought, reap and action; sow an action, reap a Habit; sow Sow a thought, reap and action; sow an action, reap a Habit; sow a a
Habit, reap a Character; sow a Character, reap a destiny Habit, reap a Character; sow a Character, reap a destiny Samuel Samuel
Smiles Smiles

We first make our Habits, then they make us We first make our Habits, then they make us unknown unknown

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same le The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of vel of
thinking we were at when we created them thinking we were at when we created them Einstein Einstein

Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; teach him how to fish Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; teach him how to fish, you , you
feed him for a lifetime feed him for a lifetime Lao Tzu Lao Tzu

If you want to retain those who are present, be loyal to those w If you want to retain those who are present, be loyal to those who are ho are
absent absent

Interdependence is a choice only interdependent people can make Interdependence is a choice only interdependent people can make

All significant All significant breakthroughs breakthroughs were were breaks with breaks with old ways of thinking old ways of thinking
Thomas Kuhn Thomas Kuhn

You can You can t talk yourself out of a problem you behaved yourself into t talk yourself out of a problem you behaved yourself into

If you want small changes, work on your behaviour; if you want If you want small changes, work on your behaviour; if you want
quantum leap changes, work on your Paradigms quantum leap changes, work on your Paradigms
Foundation Principles
Summary
Summary
Foundation Principles

Habits
Habits

Character and Personality


Character and Personality

Levels of Leadership
Levels of Leadership

Three Person Teaching


Three Person Teaching

Production / Production Capacity


Production / Production Capacity

Emotional Bank Account


Emotional Bank Account

Maturity Continuum
Maturity Continuum

Principles, Paradigms, & Processes


Principles, Paradigms, & Processes

Basic Change Model


Basic Change Model
1. Be Proactive
1. Be Proactive

Proactive not Reactive


Proactive not Reactive
I choose to vs. I have to I choose to vs. I have to
Let Let s explore alternatives vs. I can do nothing s explore alternatives vs. I can do nothing
I control my feelings vs. they make me so angry I control my feelings vs. they make me so angry
Live life to Values and not Feelings Live life to Values and not Feelings
Not the path of least resistance Not the path of least resistance

Recognise Triggers
Recognise Triggers

Power, freedom, ability to choose response according to


Power, freedom, ability to choose response according to
values & not feelings
values & not feelings

I am the Product of my actions and not those of others


I am the Product of my actions and not those of others

Snake bite is fatal if you reactively run away


Snake bite is fatal if you reactively run away
1. Be Proactive
Responding According to Values
Responding According to Values
Stimulus
Response
1. Be Proactive
Responding According to Values
Responding According to Values
Freedom
to
Choose
1. Be Proactive
Stimulus
Response
Responding According to Values
Responding According to Values
Self Awareness Independent Will
Conscience Imagination
1. Be Proactive
Freedom
to
Choose
Stimulus
Response
Accepting Responsibility
Accepting Responsibility

The Four Human Endowments


The Four Human Endowments

Self Awareness
Self Awareness

Examining thoughts, moods, & behaviours


Examining thoughts, moods, & behaviours

Imagination
Imagination

Visualising beyond experience & present reality


Visualising beyond experience & present reality

Conscience
Conscience

Understanding right & wrong, & following personal


Understanding right & wrong, & following personal
integrity
integrity

Independent Will
Independent Will

Acting Independent of external influence


Acting Independent of external influence
1. Be Proactive
Four Human Endowments
Four Human Endowments

Self Awareness
Self Awareness

The Unique one


The Unique one

others operate through it


others operate through it

Self knowledge is the basis of all other


Self knowledge is the basis of all other
knowledge
knowledge

otherwise Projection
otherwise Projection

Keep a personal Journal


Keep a personal Journal

High level Quadrant II activity


High level Quadrant II activity

Enhances all the Endowments


Enhances all the Endowments

Gain insights
Gain insights

Learn a principle
Learn a principle
1. Be Proactive
Four Human Endowments
Four Human Endowments

Imagination
Imagination

Set in the Future without Past limitations


Set in the Future without Past limitations

Set aside time alone away from interruptions


Set aside time alone away from interruptions

Take a scenario of discomfort like your boss


Take a scenario of discomfort like your boss
or partner yelling at you
or partner yelling at you

Try to put visualise a more positive and


Try to put visualise a more positive and
fruitful response
fruitful response
1. Be Proactive
Four Human Endowments
Four Human Endowments

Conscience
Conscience

Most environments do not nurture this


Most environments do not nurture this
development
development

It often requires one to be still or reflective


It often requires one to be still or reflective

Not enough to listen


Not enough to listen

one must respond


one must respond

Otherwise a wall is built around it blocking


Otherwise a wall is built around it blocking
sensitivity and receptivity
sensitivity and receptivity
1. Be Proactive
Four Human Endowments
Four Human Endowments

Independent Will
Independent Will

Exercise Imagination & Conscience


Exercise Imagination & Conscience

Make and keep promises


Make and keep promises

Start small
Start small

Start with yourself


Start with yourself

Never over promise and under deliver


Never over promise and under deliver

A strong Independent Will allows one to act in


A strong Independent Will allows one to act in
a more powerful way than the forces around
a more powerful way than the forces around

swim upstream
swim upstream
1. Be Proactive
Accepting Responsibility
Accepting Responsibility
1. Be Proactive

Blame put on
Blame put on

Determinants
Determinants

Genetic Genetic traits we inherited traits we inherited


Psychic Psychic our upbringing our upbringing
Environmental Environmental our surroundings our surroundings

Determinants influence but do not determine us


Determinants influence but do not determine us

Pre understand your reactive response to a situation and


Pre understand your reactive response to a situation and
put the proactive one in mind
put the proactive one in mind

You have responsibility for your response ability


You have responsibility for your response ability
The opposite is irresponsible The opposite is irresponsible

You can
You can

t change the fruit without changing the root


t change the fruit without changing the root

Learn from bad consequences & mistakes


Learn from bad consequences & mistakes

Best way to predict your future is to create it


Best way to predict your future is to create it
Circle of Influence
Circle of Influence
Circle of
Influence
Circle of
Concern
1. Be Proactive
Circle of Influence
Circle of Influence
Influence
Concern
Influence
Concern
Proactive Focus Reactive Focus
1. Be Proactive
Become a Transition Figure
Become a Transition Figure

Stop transmission of negative behaviours of


Stop transmission of negative behaviours of
others (difficult boss)
others (difficult boss)

Be truly Proactive
Be truly Proactive

Influence other with our behaviour (car)


Influence other with our behaviour (car)

The Four Human Endowments


The Four Human Endowments

Use them or the space between Stimulus & Response


Use them or the space between Stimulus & Response
disappears
disappears

Any time you think the problem is out there,


Any time you think the problem is out there,
that very thought is the problem
that very thought is the problem
1. Be Proactive
Principle
Principle

Individuals are responsible for their own


Individuals are responsible for their own
choices and have the freedom to choose
choices and have the freedom to choose
1. Be Proactive
Paradigms
Paradigms

I am responsible for my behaviour and the


I am responsible for my behaviour and the
choices I make in life
choices I make in life

I can expand my personal freedom and


I can expand my personal freedom and
influence through being Proactive
influence through being Proactive
1. Be Proactive
Processes
Processes

Recognise Reactive tendencies and


Recognise Reactive tendencies and
develop Proactive responses
develop Proactive responses

Increase your circle of influence


Increase your circle of influence

Become a transition figure to benefit


Become a transition figure to benefit
yourselves and others
yourselves and others

Exercise the Human Endowments through


Exercise the Human Endowments through
conscious choice and decision making
conscious choice and decision making
1. Be Proactive
Quotes
Quotes

Nothing can make you feel inferior without your consent


Nothing can make you feel inferior without your consent

Eleanor Roosevelt
Eleanor Roosevelt

They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it


They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it
to them
to them

Gandhi
Gandhi

If we live out of our memory, we are tied to that which is


If we live out of our memory, we are tied to that which is
finite. When we live out of our imagination, we are tied to
finite. When we live out of our imagination, we are tied to
that which is infinite
that which is infinite

It
It

s not what people do to us that hurt us. In the most


s not what people do to us that hurt us. In the most
fundamental sense it is our chosen response to what they
fundamental sense it is our chosen response to what they
do that hurts us
do that hurts us

Lord, give me the courage to change the things which can


Lord, give me the courage to change the things which can
and ought to be changed, the serenity to accept things
and ought to be changed, the serenity to accept things
which cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know the
which cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know the
difference
difference

Best way to make Dreams come true


Best way to make Dreams come true

WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!
1. Be Proactive
Summary
Summary

Responding According to Values


Responding According to Values

Accepting Responsibility
Accepting Responsibility

Circle of Influence
Circle of Influence

Become a Transition Figure


Become a Transition Figure

Principles, Paradigms, & Processes


Principles, Paradigms, & Processes
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
2. Begin with the End in Mind

Know where you want to go


Know where you want to go

Mental Creation Precedes Physical Creation


Mental Creation Precedes Physical Creation

Carpenter
Carpenter

s Rule is measure twice cut once


s Rule is measure twice cut once

Roles & Goals


Roles & Goals

give meaning
give meaning

Effective people shape their own future


Effective people shape their own future

Use whole brain


Use whole brain

Most important Habit


Most important Habit

Chicken & Egg with Habit 1


Chicken & Egg with Habit 1
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Choosing a Life Centre
Choosing a Life Centre
Money
Work
Pleasure
Friend Enemy
Religious
Group
Self
Spouse
Family
Posssession
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Choosing a Life Centre
Choosing a Life Centre

Alternative centres
Alternative centres

You are blind to them


You are blind to them

Principle centred
Principle centred

Stand apart from emotion


Stand apart from emotion

Make Proactive choices after evaluating


Make Proactive choices after evaluating
options
options

Deal with change only with a changeless


Deal with change only with a changeless
core
core
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Personal Mission Statement
Personal Mission Statement
Have
Be
Do
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Personal Mission Statement
Personal Mission Statement
Have
Be
Do
2. Begin with the
End in Mind

Incremental changes
Incremental changes
-
-
work on Do
work on Do

Quantum leaps
Quantum leaps

work on Be
work on Be
-
-
Thinking
Thinking
Personal Mission Statement
Personal Mission Statement

Questions
Questions

What am I about?
What am I about?

What legacy do I want to leave?


What legacy do I want to leave?

What are the qualities of Character I would


What are the qualities of Character I would
like to emulate?
like to emulate?

What things do I want that I feel are


What things do I want that I feel are
important?
important?

How can I use more right brain?


How can I use more right brain?

Expand perspective
Expand perspective

obituary
obituary

Visualisation & Affirmation


Visualisation & Affirmation
Personal, positive, present tense, visual, Personal, positive, present tense, visual,
emotional emotional
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Personal Mission Statement
Personal Mission Statement

Make Implicit Explicit


Make Implicit Explicit

Evaluate old scripts and create new ones based on


Evaluate old scripts and create new ones based on
Principles, using the Four Human Endowments
Principles, using the Four Human Endowments

Must be motivating and inspiring


Must be motivating and inspiring

Balance Private, Public, and Deep Inner Life


Balance Private, Public, and Deep Inner Life

Discovery as well as creation


Discovery as well as creation

not invention
not invention

Widen the gap from Stimulus to Response


Widen the gap from Stimulus to Response

Although it changes, write it as if it will never change


Although it changes, write it as if it will never change

Human being, human doing, human having?


Human being, human doing, human having?
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Personal Mission Statement
Personal Mission Statement

Benefits
Benefits

Encourages you to think deeply about your life


Encourages you to think deeply about your life

Helps you examine your inner most thoughts and


Helps you examine your inner most thoughts and
feelings & clarify what is really important to you
feelings & clarify what is really important to you

Expands you perspective


Expands you perspective

Provides direction and commitment to values


Provides direction and commitment to values

Provides first a mental creation of your desired results


Provides first a mental creation of your desired results
for your life
for your life

Enables daily progress to long term Goals


Enables daily progress to long term Goals

Design a Future > Past with baggage


Design a Future > Past with baggage

Autopilot
Autopilot

be on track even if you go 90% off


be on track even if you go 90% off
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Personal Mission Statement
Personal Mission Statement

Refining
Refining

Study lives & biographies of people you admire


Study lives & biographies of people you admire

Read poetry, quotations, classics, inspirational


Read poetry, quotations, classics, inspirational
literature
literature

Look at other Mission Statements


Look at other Mission Statements

Keep a running list of Character traits you would like


Keep a running list of Character traits you would like
to develop
to develop

Review a Personal journal of things important to you


Review a Personal journal of things important to you

Visualise what you want to be at 10, 20, 30 years


Visualise what you want to be at 10, 20, 30 years
from now
from now

List important things in each of your 4 needs


List important things in each of your 4 needs
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Personal Mission Statement
Personal Mission Statement
2. Begin with the
End in Mind

Testing Mission Value


Testing Mission Value

Express timeless, proven Principles


Express timeless, proven Principles

Represent the best that is within me


Represent the best that is within me

Provide direction and purpose for me


Provide direction and purpose for me

Inspire me
Inspire me

Provide security and comfort for me


Provide security and comfort for me

Communicate my vision & values


Communicate my vision & values

Address all my significant Roles in life


Address all my significant Roles in life

Approach and integrate all 4 human needs and


Approach and integrate all 4 human needs and
capabilities
capabilities
Personal Mission Statement
Personal Mission Statement

Resolution
Resolution
-
-
Mahatma Gandhi
Mahatma Gandhi
Let the first act every morning be to make the
Let the first act every morning be to make the
following resolve for the day:
following resolve for the day:

I shall not fear anyone on earth


I shall not fear anyone on earth

I shall fear only God


I shall fear only God

I shall not bear ill toward anyone


I shall not bear ill toward anyone

I shall not submit to injustice from anyone


I shall not submit to injustice from anyone

I shall conquer untruth by truth


I shall conquer untruth by truth

And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all


And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all
suffering
suffering
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Principle
Principle

Mental creation preceded physical creation


Mental creation preceded physical creation
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Paradigms
Paradigms

I can choose my own future and create a


I can choose my own future and create a
vision of it
vision of it

I will create results mentally before any


I will create results mentally before any
activity
activity
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Processes
Processes

Create and apply Personal and


Create and apply Personal and
Organisational Mission Statements as
Organisational Mission Statements as
constitutions for daily living
constitutions for daily living

Envision the desired results and important


Envision the desired results and important
values to guide activities or endeavours
values to guide activities or endeavours
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Quotes
Quotes

One cannot do right in one department of life whilst he


One cannot do right in one department of life whilst he
is occupied doing wrong in any other department. Life is
is occupied doing wrong in any other department. Life is
one indivisible whole
one indivisible whole

Gandhi
Gandhi

The Four Prescriptions


The Four Prescriptions

Arthur Gordon
Arthur Gordon
1. 1. Listen Carefully Listen Carefully
2. 2. Try reaching back Try reaching back
3. 3. Re Re- -examine your motives examine your motives
4. 4. Write your troubles in the sand Write your troubles in the sand

What lies behind us is nothing compared to what lies


What lies behind us is nothing compared to what lies
within us and ahead of us
within us and ahead of us
-
-
unknown
unknown
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
Summary
Summary

Choosing a Life Centre


Choosing a Life Centre

Personal Mission Statement


Personal Mission Statement

Principles, Paradigms, & Processes


Principles, Paradigms, & Processes
2. Begin with the
End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
3. Put First Things First

Compass vs. Clock


Compass vs. Clock

Traditional
Traditional

Time Management
Time Management

is not enough
is not enough

Relationships not Schedules


Relationships not Schedules

Governed by Integrity & Principles


Governed by Integrity & Principles

Importance vs. Urgency


Importance vs. Urgency

Value vs. Time


Value vs. Time

Personal and Professional


Personal and Professional

If 1 is be a programmer, and 2 is write the


If 1 is be a programmer, and 2 is write the
program, then 3 is run the program
program, then 3 is run the program

You are the creator, mental creation, then physical


You are the creator, mental creation, then physical
creation
creation
3. First Things First
Put First Things First
Put First Things First

I need more time


I need more time

My telephone is ringing, meetings dominate the day, my


My telephone is ringing, meetings dominate the day, my
inbox is piling high
inbox is piling high

My companion wants more time


My companion wants more time

I need more exercise


I need more exercise

I want to enjoy my life more. I never have time for


I want to enjoy my life more. I never have time for
myself
myself

My friends and family want more of me


My friends and family want more of me

I am in crisis because I procrastinate and vice versa


I am in crisis because I procrastinate and vice versa

I have no work life balance


I have no work life balance

There is too much stress


There is too much stress
There is more to do than there is time for
There is more to do than there is time for
3. First Things First
Put First Things First
Put First Things First
3. First Things First

Three Fallacies about Time:


Three Fallacies about Time:

People believe they can get More Time


People believe they can get More Time

You have all the time there is You have all the time there is

People believe they can Save Time


People believe they can Save Time

Time is equal for all and you have to spend it Time is equal for all and you have to spend it

People believe then can Manage Time


People believe then can Manage Time

You can only Manage Yourself You can only Manage Yourself

Oxymoron Oxymoron

Self Management is what we can do


Self Management is what we can do
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Generations
Generations

First
First

check lists
check lists

Second
Second

calendars & diaries


calendars & diaries

Third
Third

priority on values, goal setting


priority on values, goal setting

Fourth
Fourth

relationships & results


relationships & results
-
-
P/PC
P/PC

Not just things & time


Not just things & time

people more important


people more important

Inside out
Inside out

Mission first
Mission first

Role & Goal oriented


Role & Goal oriented

Prioritise, organise, balance, and discipline


Prioritise, organise, balance, and discipline

Has strengths of the first three without the weakness


Has strengths of the first three without the weakness
3. First Things First
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Traditional
Traditional

Efficiency
Efficiency

Practices
Practices

Management
Management

Schedules
Schedules

Urgent Things
Urgent Things

In Control Illusion
In Control Illusion

4
4
th th
Generation
Generation

Effectiveness
Effectiveness

Principles
Principles

Leadership
Leadership

Relationships
Relationships

First Things
First Things

In Alignment
In Alignment
3. First Things First
Time Matrix
Time Matrix
I
Urgent Not Urgent
Important
Not
Important
II
III
IV
3. First Things First
Which is more Important Urgent or Important?
Time Matrix
Time Matrix
I
Crises
Pressing problems
Deadline driven
Urgent Not Urgent
Important
Not
Important
II
III
IV
Preparation
Prevention
Value clarification
Planning
Empowerment
Trivia
Some calls
Escape activities
Irrelevant mail
Excessive TV
Games (solitaire)
Interruptions
Some mail, calls
Some meetings
Many popular
activities
Busy being busy
3. First Things First
Important in Internal and Urgent is External
Synergise
Synergise
Urgent Not Urgent
Important
Not Important
I
20-25%
25-30%
II
65-80%
15%
IV
1%
2-3%
III
15%
50-60%
3. First Things First
Effective & Typical Organisations
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Quadrant I results
Quadrant I results

Stress
Stress

Burnout
Burnout

Crisis management
Crisis management

Always putting out fires


Always putting out fires

Quadrant of Crisis
Quadrant of Crisis
3. First Things First
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Quadrant III results


Quadrant III results

Short term focus


Short term focus

Crisis management
Crisis management

Reputation
Reputation
-
-
chameleon character
chameleon character

See goals and plans as worthless


See goals and plans as worthless

Feel victimised, out of control


Feel victimised, out of control

Shallow or broken relationships


Shallow or broken relationships

Quadrant of Deception
Quadrant of Deception
3. First Things First
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Quadrant IV results
Quadrant IV results

Total irresponsibility
Total irresponsibility

Fired from jobs


Fired from jobs

Dependent on others for basics


Dependent on others for basics

Quadrant of Waste & Excess


Quadrant of Waste & Excess
3. First Things First
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Quadrant II results
Quadrant II results

Vision, perspective (fire station)


Vision, perspective (fire station)

Balance
Balance

Discipline
Discipline

Control
Control

Few crisis
Few crisis

makes less Quadrant I (7 P


makes less Quadrant I (7 P

s)
s)

Effectiveness vs. efficiency


Effectiveness vs. efficiency

like relationships
like relationships

Wrong efficiency means wrong results faster Wrong efficiency means wrong results faster

Effectiveness includes efficiency and not vice versa Effectiveness includes efficiency and not vice versa

I, III & IV act on us


I, III & IV act on us

II we have to act on
II we have to act on

Quadrant of Leadership or Productivity & Balance


Quadrant of Leadership or Productivity & Balance
3. First Things First
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Stop III and IV


Stop III and IV
Try stopping TV to test how addicted you are Try stopping TV to test how addicted you are

Move from I to II
Move from I to II
Anticipate I by being in II Anticipate I by being in II

Use time saved from III for II


Use time saved from III for II

QI can be sometimes QIII


QI can be sometimes QIII
Neglecting can make it go away Neglecting can make it go away

Spending time in Quadrant II


Spending time in Quadrant II
Manages Quadrant I better Manages Quadrant I better
Minimises Quadrant III Minimises Quadrant III
Misses or Avoids Quadrant IV Misses or Avoids Quadrant IV

Time saved is 3 to 4 hours a week


Time saved is 3 to 4 hours a week
3. First Things First
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Some methods
Some methods
30 second check 30 second check
Handle mail once Handle mail once
Delegate Delegate
Say NO! Say NO! day is too short day is too short Mission Mission - - bigger yes bigger yes
No mail and meetings in high priority / effective time No mail and meetings in high priority / effective time
To don To don t list t list
Not important drawer Not important drawer
Technology (consultants tips) Technology (consultants tips)

is a great servant and a horrible master is a great servant and a horrible master

eases or complicates eases or complicates

Technology Stress Technology Stress


3. First Things First
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Urgency Addiction
Urgency Addiction
1.
1.
I seem to do my best work when I
I seem to do my best work when I

m under pressure
m under pressure
2.
2.
I
I

m often frustrated by the slowness of people or


m often frustrated by the slowness of people or
things around me
things around me
3.
3.
I hate to wait or stand in line
I hate to wait or stand in line
4.
4.
I feel guilty when I take time off work
I feel guilty when I take time off work
5.
5.
I always seem to be rushing between places &
I always seem to be rushing between places &
events
events
6.
6.
I
I

m at my best when I am handling a crises situation


m at my best when I am handling a crises situation
7.
7.
I assume people will naturally understand, if I have
I assume people will naturally understand, if I have
to disappoint them or let things go to, in order to
to disappoint them or let things go to, in order to
handle a crisis
handle a crisis
8.
8.
I often eat lunch or other meals while I work
I often eat lunch or other meals while I work
9.
9.
A huge stack in my out basket at the end of the day,
A huge stack in my out basket at the end of the day,
makes me feel like I have really been productive
makes me feel like I have really been productive
3. First Things First
Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Delegation
Delegation

Desired Results
Desired Results

Gopher vs. Steward


Gopher vs. Steward

methods vs. results


methods vs. results

Guidelines
Guidelines

Resources
Resources

Accountability
Accountability

Consequences
Consequences

Management By Objectives
Management By Objectives

MBO
MBO
3. First Things First
Six Step Process
Six Step Process
1. Connect to Mission
3. Identify Goals
2. Review Roles
5. Exercise Integrity
4. Organise Weekly
6. Evaluate
3. First Things First
Six Step Process
Six Step Process
1. Connect to Mission
1. Connect to Mission

What does my heart tell me to contribute?


What does my heart tell me to contribute?

How to align the coming week?


How to align the coming week?

What visual images motivate me?


What visual images motivate me?
3. First Things First
Six Step Process
Six Step Process
2. Review Roles
2. Review Roles

Roles you feel concerned about?


Roles you feel concerned about?

Roles you spend too little time on?


Roles you spend too little time on?

Neglected relationships in your Roles?


Neglected relationships in your Roles?

Anything of value for which you have no


Anything of value for which you have no
Roles?
Roles?

Did you use Roles to prioritise Goals?


Did you use Roles to prioritise Goals?

Any changed or future Roles?


Any changed or future Roles?
3. First Things First
Six Step Process
Six Step Process
3. Identify Goals
3. Identify Goals

Contribute to long term happiness


Contribute to long term happiness

Fulfilment of your Mission


Fulfilment of your Mission

Encourage
Encourage

do it right first time


do it right first time

mentality
mentality

Fulfil physical, social, mental & spiritual need


Fulfil physical, social, mental & spiritual need

Create a long term solution


Create a long term solution

Enhance relationships
Enhance relationships

Write it down, deadline it, break into steps


Write it down, deadline it, break into steps
3. First Things First
Six Step Process
Six Step Process
4. Organise Weekly
4. Organise Weekly

Preparation
Preparation

Prevention
Prevention

Value Clarification
Value Clarification

Planning
Planning

Relationship building
Relationship building

True re
True re
-
-
creation
creation

Create Balance
Create Balance

No Weekly Plan or only Daily Plan = Quadrant I or III


No Weekly Plan or only Daily Plan = Quadrant I or III
3. First Things First
Six Step Process
Six Step Process

Organising Tools Note Organising Tools Note


Keep it Simple Keep it Simple
Integrated Integrated - - do not try to integrate many do not try to integrate many
Mobile Mobile
Personalised Personalised
Core 4 Core 4 Tasks, Appointments, Notes, Contacts Tasks, Appointments, Notes, Contacts

To Do List Note To Do List Note


Realistic or Monday List will be Friday List Realistic or Monday List will be Friday List
Usually a Survival List to keep head above water Usually a Survival List to keep head above water
Endorphin is legal morphine ticking off the easy things Endorphin is legal morphine ticking off the easy things

Weekly Plan Note Weekly Plan Note


Use the printed Weekly Plan Use the printed Weekly Plan later you can use PlanPlus later you can use PlanPlus - - integrated integrated
into Outlook into Outlook
Weekly Planning 20 to 30 minutes, Daily Planning 5 to 10 minutes Weekly Planning 20 to 30 minutes, Daily Planning 5 to 10 minutes
Plan for 65% percent of available time Plan for 65% percent of available time
No Plan means getting lost instead of detours No Plan means getting lost instead of detours
3. First Things First
Six Step Process
Six Step Process
5. Exercise Integrity
5. Exercise Integrity

On the spot
On the spot

Integrated around Principles


Integrated around Principles

Hard on Principles and Soft on Schedules Hard on Principles and Soft on Schedules

Foundation to PC is Integrity
Foundation to PC is Integrity

Alignment with Mission


Alignment with Mission

Realistic time frame Realistic time frame

No Social Mirror, fires & crisis's No Social Mirror, fires & crisis's

Realistic expectations Realistic expectations

Balance Balance

No short sighted desires No short sighted desires

Your own clear Mission / purpose Your own clear Mission / purpose
3. First Things First
Six Step Process
Six Step Process
6. Evaluate
6. Evaluate

Review
Review

Best use of time


Best use of time

Unmet Goals
Unmet Goals

Impediments
Impediments

Realistic
Realistic

Revisit your Mission


Revisit your Mission

Apply Evaluation Results


Apply Evaluation Results
3. First Things First
Six Step Process
Six Step Process
Mission Roles Goals Plans
Schedule
Delegate
Long Term
Weekly
3. First Things First
Principle
Principle

Effectiveness requires balancing important


Effectiveness requires balancing important
relationships, Roles, and activities
relationships, Roles, and activities
3. First Things First
Paradigms
Paradigms

Things which matter most should never be


Things which matter most should never be
at the mercy of things which matter least
at the mercy of things which matter least

I will improve P/PC Balance within my


I will improve P/PC Balance within my
Circle of Influence
Circle of Influence

I will focus on importance instead of


I will focus on importance instead of
urgency
urgency

I fulfil my Mission by acting on important


I fulfil my Mission by acting on important
Goals in my key Roles
Goals in my key Roles
3. First Things First
Processes
Processes

Focus on the truly important and say no to


Focus on the truly important and say no to
the unimportant
the unimportant

Yes or No
Yes or No

Focus on Quadrant II activities


Focus on Quadrant II activities

Plan weekly and implement daily on your


Plan weekly and implement daily on your
Mission, Roles, Goals, and Priorities
Mission, Roles, Goals, and Priorities
3. First Things First
Quotes
Quotes

Things which matter most should never be at the mercy


Things which matter most should never be at the mercy
of things which matter least
of things which matter least
-
-
Goethe
Goethe

What is important to a person must be as important to


What is important to a person must be as important to
you as the other person is to you
you as the other person is to you

You don
You don

t invent your Mission, you detect it


t invent your Mission, you detect it

Victor
Victor
Frankl
Frankl

In all fields of human endeavour, 80 percent of results


In all fields of human endeavour, 80 percent of results
flow from 20 percent of the activities
flow from 20 percent of the activities

Pareto
Pareto

The key is not to prioritise your schedule but schedule


The key is not to prioritise your schedule but schedule
you priorities
you priorities

Ones philosophy is not best expressed in words; it


Ones philosophy is not best expressed in words; it

s
s
expressed in the choices one makes. And the choices we
expressed in the choices one makes. And the choices we
make are our responsibility
make are our responsibility

Eleanor Roosevelt
Eleanor Roosevelt

The Main Thing is the keep the Main Thing, the Main
The Main Thing is the keep the Main Thing, the Main
Thing
Thing

Stephen Covey
Stephen Covey
3. First Things First
Summary
Summary

Time Matrix
Time Matrix

Six Step Process


Six Step Process

Principles, Paradigms, & Processes


Principles, Paradigms, & Processes
3. First Things First
4. Think Win
4. Think Win
-
-
Win
Win

Six Paradigms of Human Interaction


Six Paradigms of Human Interaction

Win
Win
-
-
Win
Win

Win
Win
-
-
Lose
Lose

Lose
Lose
-
-
Win
Win

Lose
Lose
-
-
Lose
Lose

Win
Win

Win
Win
-
-
Win or No Deal
Win or No Deal

Win
Win
-
-
Win is best 90% of the time (Rs 10,
Win is best 90% of the time (Rs 10,
horse Goa)
horse Goa)
4. Think Win-Win
Win
Win
-
-
Win Re
Win Re
-
-
scripting
scripting

Win
Win
-
-
Lose conditioning
Lose conditioning

comparisons
comparisons

How do you outsmart the smartest man in the world?


How do you outsmart the smartest man in the world?

Competition vs. Cooperation


Competition vs. Cooperation

Independent vs. Interdependent


Independent vs. Interdependent

Process
Process

Developing self awareness


Developing self awareness

Writing new scripts


Writing new scripts

Developing new scripts


Developing new scripts

Third Alternative
Third Alternative

not your way or my way but


not your way or my way but
a better way
a better way

A philosophy, not a technique (3 way cake)


A philosophy, not a technique (3 way cake)
4. Think Win-Win
Win
Win
-
-
Win Re
Win Re
-
-
scripting
scripting
Consideration
Win-Win
Courage
Low
High
High
Lose-Lose Lose-Win
Win-Lose
4. Think Win-Win
Win
Win
-
-
Win Re
Win Re
-
-
scripting
scripting
A manipulative
A manipulative
technique
technique
A philosophy of human
A philosophy of human
interaction supported
interaction supported
by an Abundance
by an Abundance
Mentality
Mentality
Always achievable
Always achievable
The best way to get
The best way to get
Interdependent
Interdependent
relationships
relationships
A Personality based
A Personality based
thought pattern
thought pattern
A Character based
A Character based
code for interaction
code for interaction
Always being nice
Always being nice
A courageous effort
A courageous effort
Is Not
Is Not
Is
Is
4. Think Win-Win
Four Dimensions of Win
Four Dimensions of Win
-
-
Win
Win

Character
Character

Relationships
Relationships

Agreements
Agreements

Systems & Processes


Systems & Processes
4. Think Win-Win
Four Dimensions of Win
Four Dimensions of Win
-
-
Win
Win

Character
Character

Integrity
Integrity

People of Integrity are true to their feelings,


People of Integrity are true to their feelings,
values, and commitments
values, and commitments

Maturity
Maturity

Mature people express their ideas & feelings with


Mature people express their ideas & feelings with
courage and consideration for the ideas and
courage and consideration for the ideas and
feelings of others
feelings of others

Abundance Mentality
Abundance Mentality

There is plenty for everyone (lamp)


There is plenty for everyone (lamp)
4. Think Win-Win
Four Dimensions of Win
Four Dimensions of Win
-
-
Win
Win

Relationships
Relationships

Demonstrate consistent actions that convince people


Demonstrate consistent actions that convince people
you honest, and have integrity and loyalty
you honest, and have integrity and loyalty

Believe in the best for other people


Believe in the best for other people

Disclose
Disclose

help other people understand their


help other people understand their
position, behaviour, and decisions
position, behaviour, and decisions

Communicate clear expectations


Communicate clear expectations

Seek other ideas and listen with Empathy


Seek other ideas and listen with Empathy

Are accurate, timely, and honest in communication


Are accurate, timely, and honest in communication

Treat people with respect and respond to others


Treat people with respect and respond to others
needs
needs

Focus on positive, & constructive feedback on


Focus on positive, & constructive feedback on
improvements
improvements
4. Think Win-Win
Four Dimensions of Win
Four Dimensions of Win
-
-
Win
Win

Agreements
Agreements

Desired Results
Desired Results

End, objective, & outcome


End, objective, & outcome

Guidelines
Guidelines

Boundaries & deadlines for results


Boundaries & deadlines for results

Resources
Resources

Human, financial, technical, organisational, available


Human, financial, technical, organisational, available

Accountability
Accountability

Standards & methods


Standards & methods

Consequences
Consequences

Result for achieving Win


Result for achieving Win
-
-
Win or not
Win or not
4. Think Win-Win
Four Dimensions of Win
Four Dimensions of Win
-
-
Win
Win

Systems & Processes


Systems & Processes

Inside out approach


Inside out approach

First
First
-
-
develop your Win
develop your Win
-
-
Win Character
Win Character

Second
Second
-
-
Agreements & Relationships
Agreements & Relationships

Third
Third
-
-
is the Process
is the Process

See from other view point


See from other view point

Identify key issues involved


Identify key issues involved

Determine what results would be fully acceptable


Determine what results would be fully acceptable

Identify possible new options for these results


Identify possible new options for these results
4. Think Win-Win
Win
Win
-
-
Win Rewards
Win Rewards

Financial
Financial

Income, stock options, allowances


Income, stock options, allowances

Psychic
Psychic

Respect, approval, credibility


Respect, approval, credibility

Opportunity
Opportunity

Training, development, perks


Training, development, perks

Responsibility
Responsibility

Authority
Authority
4. Think Win-Win
Principle
Principle

Effective, long term relationships require


Effective, long term relationships require
mutual benefit
mutual benefit
4. Think Win-Win
Paradigms
Paradigms

I seek the benefit of others as well as my


I seek the benefit of others as well as my
own
own

I get better results from my relationships


I get better results from my relationships
by cooperating interdependently than by
by cooperating interdependently than by
competing independently
competing independently
4. Think Win-Win
Processes
Processes

Balance courage and consideration in


Balance courage and consideration in
seeking mutual benefit
seeking mutual benefit

Persist in looking for Win


Persist in looking for Win
-
-
Win outcomes
Win outcomes
despite past Win
despite past Win
-
-
Lose conditioning
Lose conditioning
4. Think Win-Win
Quotes
Quotes

Your security comes from within instead of


Your security comes from within instead of
from without
from without

Comparison leads to win


Comparison leads to win
-
-
lose scripting
lose scripting

Win
Win
-
-
Win is a belief in the Third
Win is a belief in the Third
Alternative. It
Alternative. It

s not your way or my way:


s not your way or my way:
it
it

s a better way
s a better way
4. Think Win-Win
Summary
Summary

Win
Win
-
-
Win Re
Win Re
-
-
scripting
scripting

Four Dimensions of Win


Four Dimensions of Win
-
-
Win
Win

Win
Win
-
-
Win Rewards
Win Rewards

Principles, Paradigms, & Processes


Principles, Paradigms, & Processes
4. Think Win-Win
5. First
5. First
Understand, then be Understood
Understand, then be Understood

Ignoring
Ignoring

Pretend Listening
Pretend Listening

Selective Listening
Selective Listening

Attentive Listening
Attentive Listening

Empathic Listening
Empathic Listening
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Challenges in Communication
Challenges in Communication

Diagnose before you prescribe


Diagnose before you prescribe

Do not listen with your mouth (understand kid)


Do not listen with your mouth (understand kid)

People listen with the object to answer


People listen with the object to answer

Listen with eyes and heart along with ears


Listen with eyes and heart along with ears

Listen at the others pace and direction


Listen at the others pace and direction

fast is
fast is
slow and slow is fast
slow and slow is fast

Psychological air
Psychological air

satisfied needs don


satisfied needs don

t motivate
t motivate

Communication is what others understand


Communication is what others understand

1% know, 1% don
1% know, 1% don

t know, 98% no idea


t know, 98% no idea

Optometrists can
Optometrists can

t make you wear their glasses


t make you wear their glasses
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Challenges in Communication
Challenges in Communication

Communication is
Communication is

Reading
Reading

Writing
Writing

Speaking
Speaking

Listening
Listening

We spend years learning the first three


We spend years learning the first three

of waking life doing all four and 40% of this


of waking life doing all four and 40% of this
is listening
is listening

Dialog with the deaf


Dialog with the deaf

Listening does the maximum fix for bad


Listening does the maximum fix for bad
situations
situations

Every hour of real understanding saves 10/20/50


Every hour of real understanding saves 10/20/50
hours problem solving from not understanding
hours problem solving from not understanding
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Challenges in Communication
Challenges in Communication

Autobiographical responses
Autobiographical responses

Advising
Advising

Probing
Probing

Interpreting
Interpreting

Evaluating
Evaluating
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Challenges in Communication
Challenges in Communication

Autobiographical
Autobiographical
might be
might be
effective when:
effective when:

Other person
Other person

s communication is presented logically,


s communication is presented logically,
without emotion
without emotion

Other person specifically asks for your point of view


Other person specifically asks for your point of view

Emotional Bank Account with other is high


Emotional Bank Account with other is high

Autobiographical
Autobiographical
might not be
might not be
effective when:
effective when:

Other person only wants a listening ear


Other person only wants a listening ear

Other person wants to explore their feeling at their


Other person wants to explore their feeling at their
own pace, without threat
own pace, without threat

Other person
Other person

s communication is emotional
s communication is emotional
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
38%
7%
55%
Non verbal body language
Words we use
How we say words, sounds we make
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Communication is also Seeing and Feeling
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
Attitude & Skill of Empathy

Placing the Emphasis: Placing the Emphasis:


Why Why don don t I take you to dinner tonight? t I take you to dinner tonight?
Why Why don don t t I take you to dinner tonight? I take you to dinner tonight?
Why don Why don t t I I take you to dinner tonight? take you to dinner tonight?
Why don Why don t I t I take take you to dinner tonight? you to dinner tonight?
Why don Why don t I take t I take you you to dinner tonight? to dinner tonight?
Why don Why don t I take you to t I take you to dinner dinner tonight? tonight?
Why don Why don t I take you to dinner t I take you to dinner tonight tonight? ?

What it means: What it means:


Do Do you have a problem with me? you have a problem with me?
Finding Finding a reason why I shouldn a reason why I shouldn t take you. t take you.
Instead Instead of the guy you were going with. of the guy you were going with.
Instead Instead of going on your own. of going on your own.
I was going to take someone else. I was going to take someone else.
Instead Instead of lunch tomorrow. of lunch tomorrow.
Not Not tomorrow night. tomorrow night.
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
Attitude & Skill of Empathy

Speaker says 120 wpm


Speaker says 120 wpm

Listener can absorb 800 wpm


Listener can absorb 800 wpm

slow down
slow down
listening
listening

Our eyes see the equivalent of 50 million words


Our eyes see the equivalent of 50 million words
per minute
per minute

10,000,000 times more than we


10,000,000 times more than we
hear
hear

Humans use some 250,000 facial signals and


Humans use some 250,000 facial signals and
700,000 physical signals when communicating
700,000 physical signals when communicating
with one another
with one another
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Skill
Attitude
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
Attitude & Skill of Empathy

Empathic Listening Responses (do it)


Empathic Listening Responses (do it)

Repeat verbatim
Repeat verbatim

Rephrase content
Rephrase content

Reflect feelings
Reflect feelings

Rephrase content and reflect feelings


Rephrase content and reflect feelings

Discern
Discern

when Empathy is not appropriate


when Empathy is not appropriate
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Attitude & Skill of Empathy
Attitude & Skill of Empathy

Phrases that acknowledge understanding


Phrases that acknowledge understanding

As I get it, you felt that


As I get it, you felt that

So, as you see it


So, as you see it

I
I

m not sure I
m not sure I

m with you but


m with you but

You place high value on


You place high value on

Your feeling now is that


Your feeling now is that

You must have felt


You must have felt

Put yourself aside


Put yourself aside

only Principle centred can


only Principle centred can
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Principle
Principle

Diagnosis must precede prescription


Diagnosis must precede prescription

Understanding comes through listening


Understanding comes through listening
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Paradigms
Paradigms

I assume I don
I assume I don

t fully understand, and I


t fully understand, and I
need to listen
need to listen

If I listen first to understand, then I will be


If I listen first to understand, then I will be
better understood
better understood
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Processes
Processes

Use Empathic Listening Skills


Use Empathic Listening Skills

Give the time and use one on one


Give the time and use one on one
listening
listening
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
Quotes
Quotes
5. First Understand,
then be Understood

The psychological equivalent of air is to feel understood


The psychological equivalent of air is to feel understood

The key to listening is with the eyes and the heart


The key to listening is with the eyes and the heart

The one who listens does most of the work, not the one
The one who listens does most of the work, not the one
who speaks
who speaks

Everyone
Everyone

s life is so singular, so unique. Who will listen


s life is so singular, so unique. Who will listen
to understand that uniqueness?
to understand that uniqueness?

To assume is to make an
To assume is to make an

ass
ass

of
of

u
u

and
and

me
me

It is said that walls have ears. However, some ears have


It is said that walls have ears. However, some ears have
walls
walls
Summary
Summary

Challenges in Communication
Challenges in Communication

Attitude & Skill in Listening


Attitude & Skill in Listening

Principles, Paradigms, & Processes


Principles, Paradigms, & Processes
5. First Understand,
then be Understood
6. Synergise
6. Synergise

Negative
Negative
2+2=
2+2=
-
-
2
2

Compromise
Compromise
2+2= 2
2+2= 2

Positive
Positive
2+2= 4
2+2= 4

Synergy
Synergy
2+2= 6, 60, 600
2+2= 6, 60, 600

.
.

If 4 is the Root, & 5 the Route, 6 is the Fruit


If 4 is the Root, & 5 the Route, 6 is the Fruit

Two wood pieces holds more than twice weight


Two wood pieces holds more than twice weight

Synergy is creativity
Synergy is creativity

sometimes scary
sometimes scary

The Whole is bigger than the sum of it


The Whole is bigger than the sum of it

s Parts
s Parts

Everywhere in nature
Everywhere in nature

ears/direction, hands/10 times


ears/direction, hands/10 times

6. Synergise
Process of Synergising
Process of Synergising
Problem
Or
Opportunity
Synergise
Habits 4,5, & 6
The Action
and Process
Third Alternative
Synergy
The Result
6. Synergise
Process of Synergising
Process of Synergising
Accepting others ideas as
Accepting others ideas as
full truth
full truth
Examining, exploring
Examining, exploring
openly to complete your
openly to complete your
Paradigm
Paradigm
Only a Negotiating
Only a Negotiating
technique
technique
A Process
A Process
Always easy
Always easy
Worth the effort & highly
Worth the effort & highly
effective
effective
Group think
Group think

giving in to
giving in to
peer pressure
peer pressure
Having mutually agreed
Having mutually agreed
upon the end in mind
upon the end in mind
Win
Win
-
-
Lose competition
Lose competition
Cooperating
Cooperating
A brainstorming free for
A brainstorming free for
all
all
Results oriented, +ve
Results oriented, +ve
energy
energy
Is Not
Is Not
Is
Is
6. Synergise
Valuing the Differences
Valuing the Differences
Tolerate
Accept
Value
Celebrate
6. Synergise
Valuing the Differences
Valuing the Differences

Ground Rules for Synergising


Ground Rules for Synergising

Develop Win
Develop Win
-
-
Win mentality
Win mentality

Keep mind, hearts, and expressions open to


Keep mind, hearts, and expressions open to
new possibilities
new possibilities

Recognise and value others opinions,


Recognise and value others opinions,
viewpoints, and perspectives as helpful when
viewpoints, and perspectives as helpful when
seeking solutions
seeking solutions
6. Synergise
Creating the Third Alternative
Creating the Third Alternative
6. Synergise

Communicate till we both find a solution we feel good


Communicate till we both find a solution we feel good
about
about

Not your way, or my way, but a better way


Not your way, or my way, but a better way

Both can be right and disagree


Both can be right and disagree

like the picture before


like the picture before

Listen with intent to understand, not reply


Listen with intent to understand, not reply
This is how I see it vs. you are wrong This is how I see it vs. you are wrong

Express how you feel about and see the situation


Express how you feel about and see the situation

Common Goals helps, or see Values


Common Goals helps, or see Values

Humility
Humility

since you only have your own experience,


since you only have your own experience,
really understand the gifts that others have for you; it
really understand the gifts that others have for you; it
took them a lifetime of understanding and it is given to
took them a lifetime of understanding and it is given to
you free
you free
Creating the Third Alternative
Creating the Third Alternative

Levels of Communication
Levels of Communication
Low
High
High
Trust
Cooperation
Defensive (Win-Lose or Lose-Win)
Respectful (Compromise)
Synergistic (Win-Win)
6. Synergise
Creating the Third Alternative
Creating the Third Alternative

Force Field Analysis


Force Field Analysis

Kurt Lewin
Kurt Lewin
Current
Results
Desired
Results
Restraining Forces
(cultural, emotional)
Driving Forces
(economic, logic)
6. Synergise
Creating the Third Alternative
Creating the Third Alternative

A possible start
A possible start

Would you be willing to find a solution that is


Would you be willing to find a solution that is
better than what each of us propose?
better than what each of us propose?

No one makes their point until that person


No one makes their point until that person
repeated the others point to the others
repeated the others point to the others
satisfaction
satisfaction
6. Synergise
Principle
Principle

The whole is greater than the sum of it


The whole is greater than the sum of it

s
s
parts
parts
6. Synergise
Paradigms
Paradigms

I value differences in others and seek the


I value differences in others and seek the
Third Alternative
Third Alternative

Working together cooperatively takes time


Working together cooperatively takes time
but produces better long term results
but produces better long term results

Any Human Problem can be solved with


Any Human Problem can be solved with
Habit 4, 5 & 6
Habit 4, 5 & 6
6. Synergise
Processes
Processes

Apply Win
Apply Win
-
-
Win thinking (Habit 4) and
Win thinking (Habit 4) and
Empathic Communication (Habit 5) to
Empathic Communication (Habit 5) to
seek Synergistic outcomes, including the
seek Synergistic outcomes, including the
Third Alternative (Habit 6)
Third Alternative (Habit 6)

Use Synergy ground rules to discover the


Use Synergy ground rules to discover the
Third Alternative
Third Alternative
6. Synergise
Quotes
Quotes

Strength lies in differences, not in


Strength lies in differences, not in
similarities
similarities

The key of objectivity is to accept


The key of objectivity is to accept
subjectivity
subjectivity

I do not see the world as it is, I see is as I


I do not see the world as it is, I see is as I
am
am

The enemy of the Best is the good


The enemy of the Best is the good
-
-
unknown
unknown
6. Synergise
Summary
Summary

Process of Synergising
Process of Synergising

Valuing the Differences


Valuing the Differences

Creating the Third Alternative


Creating the Third Alternative

Principles, Paradigms, & Processes


Principles, Paradigms, & Processes
6. Synergise
7. Sharpen the Saw
7. Sharpen the Saw

Many gradual changes for a cumulative


Many gradual changes for a cumulative
effect is better than a single massive change
effect is better than a single massive change
that is incomplete (woodcutter)
that is incomplete (woodcutter)

Applies to 4 levels
Applies to 4 levels
-
-
Personal, Interpersonal,
Personal, Interpersonal,
Managerial, & Organisational
Managerial, & Organisational

Continuous Improvement
Continuous Improvement
7. Sharpen the Saw
7. Sharpen the Saw
7. Sharpen the Saw

Few hours a week here impacts all others


Few hours a week here impacts all others

QII
QII

Important and not Urgent


Important and not Urgent

It does not act on us, we have to act on it


It does not act on us, we have to act on it
7. Sharpen the Saw
Moving the fulcrum over
Four Dimensions of Renewal
Four Dimensions of Renewal
Spiritual
Physical
Mental
Social
Fire Within
7. Sharpen the Saw
Four Dimensions of Renewal
Four Dimensions of Renewal

Live
Live
Physical, basic wealth
Physical, basic wealth

Love
Love
Social
Social

Learn
Learn
Mental growth
Mental growth

Leave a Legacy
Leave a Legacy
Spiritual, contribution
Spiritual, contribution

One unmet reduces life quality


One unmet reduces life quality

Integration
Integration

critical mass
critical mass

= Fire Within
= Fire Within
7. Sharpen the Saw
Four Dimensions of Renewal
Four Dimensions of Renewal

Physical
Physical

Exercise regularly
Exercise regularly

endurance, flexibility,
endurance, flexibility,
strength
strength

The control influences other areas


The control influences other areas

Nutrition
Nutrition

fruit, vegetables, cereals


fruit, vegetables, cereals

Subordinate taste for nutrition


Subordinate taste for nutrition

Stress management
Stress management

Eustress vs. Distress


Eustress vs. Distress

Dr. Hans Selye


Dr. Hans Selye

Sleep & rest


Sleep & rest

Regular health check ups


Regular health check ups

Habits & lifestyles for long term health


Habits & lifestyles for long term health
7. Sharpen the Saw
Four Dimensions of Renewal
Four Dimensions of Renewal

Mental
Mental

Read, read, and read


Read, read, and read

12 books a year
12 books a year

Most Professions have a Most Professions have a life for 4 years life for 4 years

Visualising
Visualising

Planning
Planning

Solve puzzles, play mental games, mental hobbies


Solve puzzles, play mental games, mental hobbies

Continuous education
Continuous education

Write prose, poetry, music


Write prose, poetry, music

Collect quotations
Collect quotations

Keep a journal
Keep a journal

Listen to music
Listen to music

Beware of TV
Beware of TV

can be an open sewer into your home


can be an open sewer into your home
7. Sharpen the Saw
Four Dimensions of Renewal
Four Dimensions of Renewal
7. Sharpen the Saw

Social / Emotional
Social / Emotional

Cultivate family relations


Cultivate family relations

Build new friendships, see old friends


Build new friendships, see old friends

Engage in creative service


Engage in creative service

Keep relationships in constant development & repair


Keep relationships in constant development & repair

Value differences and look for synergies


Value differences and look for synergies

Take a holiday or celebrate a festival


Take a holiday or celebrate a festival

Take each family member on a date


Take each family member on a date

Write letters to family & friends


Write letters to family & friends

Givers gain
Givers gain

everywhere in nature
everywhere in nature

Key to 99 is the one


Key to 99 is the one
Four Dimensions of Renewal
Four Dimensions of Renewal

Spiritual
Spiritual

Create, review, & refine you Mission


Create, review, & refine you Mission

Value clarification
Value clarification

Watch, listen, & observe nature


Watch, listen, & observe nature

Study great literature and lives of great people


Study great literature and lives of great people

Build integrity
Build integrity

Appreciate music & art


Appreciate music & art

Religious worship that uplifts


Religious worship that uplifts

Publish a book
Publish a book

Yoga & meditation


Yoga & meditation

Cultivate a rich private life


Cultivate a rich private life
7. Sharpen the Saw
Personal Production Capability
Personal Production Capability

Survival and Revival


Survival and Revival

What time is spent in each?


What time is spent in each?

What do you need to do for Balance?


What do you need to do for Balance?

Doing one area Synergises to better all


Doing one area Synergises to better all
others
others

Scripting others (IQ kids)


Scripting others (IQ kids)

Pay the Price, the Dividends are


Pay the Price, the Dividends are
Marvellous
Marvellous
7. Sharpen the Saw
Upward Spiral
Upward Spiral

Continuous improvement
Continuous improvement

Law of the Harvest


Law of the Harvest

Lifetime journey
Lifetime journey

Sometime you may slide down a bit


Sometime you may slide down a bit

Large jumps with Paradigm Shifts


Large jumps with Paradigm Shifts

Learn, commit, and do


Learn, commit, and do
7. Sharpen the Saw
Principle Centred Living
Principle Centred Living

Life
Life

s constant is Change
s constant is Change

Also Principles & Choice


Also Principles & Choice

A changeless core helps deal with change


A changeless core helps deal with change

Life
Life

s centre will be source of


s centre will be source of

Security
Security

sense of worth
sense of worth

Guidance
Guidance

source of direction
source of direction

Wisdom
Wisdom

perspective in life
perspective in life

Power
Power

capacity to act
capacity to act
7. Sharpen the Saw
Money
Work
Pleasure
Friend Enemy
Religious
Group
Self
Spouse
Family
Posssession
Principle Centred Living
Principle Centred Living
Guidance
Security
Wisdom
Power
Principles
7. Sharpen the Saw
Principle
Principle

Production (results) requires development


Production (results) requires development
of Production Capability (resources)
of Production Capability (resources)
7. Sharpen the Saw
Paradigms
Paradigms

I will increase my effectiveness through


I will increase my effectiveness through
personal renewal in each of the four
personal renewal in each of the four
dimensions of my life
dimensions of my life

I will continuously improve


I will continuously improve
7. Sharpen the Saw
Processes
Processes

Constantly develop and renew personal


Constantly develop and renew personal
resources to create better personal P/PC
resources to create better personal P/PC
Balance
Balance

Set and achieve Goals for renewal in the


Set and achieve Goals for renewal in the
Physical, Mental, Spiritual, and Emotional
Physical, Mental, Spiritual, and Emotional
dimensions
dimensions
7. Sharpen the Saw
Quotes
Quotes

It is more noble to give yourself completely to


It is more noble to give yourself completely to
one individual than to labour diligently for the
one individual than to labour diligently for the
salvation of the masses
salvation of the masses

Dag Hammarskjold
Dag Hammarskjold

Progress has not followed a straight, ascending


Progress has not followed a straight, ascending
line, but a spiral with rhythms of progress and
line, but a spiral with rhythms of progress and
retrogression, of evolution and dissolution
retrogression, of evolution and dissolution

Goethe
Goethe

To know something and not to do it, is really not


To know something and not to do it, is really not
to know it
to know it

Steven Covey
Steven Covey
7. Sharpen the Saw
Summary
Summary

Four Dimensions of Renewal


Four Dimensions of Renewal

Personal Production Capability


Personal Production Capability

Upward Spiral
Upward Spiral

Principle Centred Living


Principle Centred Living

Principles, Paradigms, & Processes


Principles, Paradigms, & Processes
7. Sharpen the Saw
Tips & Tools
Tips & Tools

21 Day Focus
21 Day Focus

Tips
Tips

Share with others


Share with others

Get a coach (email)


Get a coach (email)

Focus on a Habit
Focus on a Habit

Be patient
Be patient

Tools
Tools

Write a Mission
Write a Mission

Use a portable tool


Use a portable tool

Win
Win
-
-
Win
Win

Listen to others
Listen to others
Daily Private Victory 1 hr daily renewal

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